Madonna Hard Candy 2008 Album Songs Review by Tom & Val

[MrChupy67]

i love spanish lesson!

[gayprince22]

so i just watched all your album review videos and i just loved them i wish i had friends like you guys to be silly with and talk about madonna. You guys made me laugh and totally agree with alot of your reviews. : )much love to you both

[ricardoshark18]

My Top Songs Are 1.Give It 2 Me 2.4 Minutes 3.Miles Away 4.Heartbeat 5.Devil Wouldn't Recognize You 6.She's Not Me 7.Dance 2Night 8.Incredible 9.Beat Goes On 10.Voices 11.Ring My Bell 12.Candy Shop 13.Spanish Lesson

[chellehighness]

I copmpletely agree about Shes Not Me!!!! Wtf is that bit in the end!!!!!!!!!!!

[mlvec]

Hey you guys are both awesome!!!!! I love your reviews they are sooo funny.

and I can understand both of you because Hard Candy and American Life were the only 2 Madonna albums i didnt like that much. Thanks for the videos!

ps your expression at 9:22 had me cracking up

[GetBackBlur]

I agree with Val, I remember Madonna said a while back that she only wants to hear herself in HER songs not other people. Also I thought Candy Shop was a demo at first too. The 3 new tracks on Celebration are better then this whole album. (not trying to be mean to Madonna but I wasn't happy with this album althought Devil Wouldn't Recognize You is my favorite

[gojesabs]

The best: Heartbeat Beat Goes On Devil Wouldn't Recognize You She's Not Me Candy Shop The worst: Give It 2 Me ->cheesy Dance 2night ->boring Miles Away ->boring/mainstream Voices -> don't like that song anymore I don't love the album as much as I did before, because I realized that compared to her other albums It just feels kind of empty. I still love it but it's not as good as her previous albums And...I hate the fact that the producers are featured in almost every song

[gojesabs]

My review of the Hard Candy album:

Candy Shop -> I love it even though It could have done much better

4 Minutes -> good but too mainstream

Give It 2 Me -> I really don't know why I hate that song so much :D

Heartbeat -> That song grew on me and now I realize how great it is! (Could have been a single)

Miles Away -> boring and mainstream

She's Not Me -> good, also grew on me the more I listened to it (also could have been a single)

Incredible -> cheesy but I like the 2nd part of it

[TheCandyRainbow]

Val, you are mad, this is the best Madonna album ever:

The Best:

She's Not Me, Candy Shop, 4 Minutes, Heartbeat, Beat Goes On, Give It 2 Me (no get stupid bridge), Dance 2night, Devil Wouldn't Regonize You,Miles Away and Incredible.

The worst:

Spanish Lesson and Voices

8/10 overall

American Life is good, But Hard Candy Is the best.

[gojesabs]

@TheCandyRainbow At first I loved almost every song of Hard Candy also (probably because I waited so long for the album to came out), but now I realize that It's really not her best! Val is right when she says: "Most of the songs don't have any staying power."

If you compare these songs to Madonna's previous, you'll find that many songs sound really cheesy

[TheCandyRainbow]

@gojesabs Well I dissagree with you there. But we all have our opions.

[savageskin]

the ending of She's Not Me is actually the best part ;)

But n ot really into Hard Candy CD too actually. For me the CD ends after She's Not Me. I skip the rest and get back just for Voices (with the overproduced 'loud' hardbeats)

[chubiisio]

6:25 "this song sucks " jajajajajajajajajaja epic moment

[madeyes4u]

AWESOME interview! Spot on.

[SapphireAdams1]

I love "Hard Candy" but Spanish Lesson sucks.

[fundamentalofhate]

madonna blows.

[TheGabrielleMarquez]

I agree with the woman definitely! Hard candy sucked and she doesn't need to do ths crappy music to stay modern..we want madonna not fergie ;)

[CIGARPIGSKIN6]

Go VAL!!!!!

I like Give it 2 Me. The rest of the songs are growing on me.

I hate Justin Timberlake.

blah im getting tired.. hehehee

[Viopule]

"Incredible" is actually brilliant I think, AND look at the lyrics - if it were a ballad people would be calling it amazing.

[NonniCiccone]

I hate this idea that Madonna should stay in a box or stick with one or two genres. I want her to do what she wants, experiment, and be free. Sometimes the result will be brilliant and sometimes it wont, but at least she has the freedom to branch out... it's what she has done throughout her career... why should she stop now?

[Qualle1]

I completely agree with VAL here. HARD CANDY is really an embarrassment and the worst effort Madonna ever delivered...

:o(

[yonoguer]

I totally agre, I love Madonna, the real madonna, not the Madonna in Hard Candy... Where's our Diva?

[JesseJo2]

Hate this album :(

[Rhiabbaco]

AMERICAN LIFE (The last time that madonna made and album to be a musician not only a product) is MUCH better than HARD CANDY- HC is too superficial to me.

My favorites:

Miles Away, Beat Goes On, Devil and Voices.

The Worst:

Dance 2night, She's Not me, Incredible.

[manussa77]

Now, she's going to do a rock album. She's working on it now. I think this is a HUGE mistake. I think it will tank. She's not a rock artist.

[Mahoney8T7]

god these two need to get lost...they only occasionally give her credit...what the point of all this?

[ajbr1991]

AMERICAN LIFE FTW ♥ I really don't know why A.L is under-rated =/ I think it's a good album and much better than Hard Candy.

Ok.. Hard Candy... I like this album, I don't think it's shit. But... I really like others albums than this.. I love INCREDIBLE, Devil Wouldn't Recognize You & Dance 2night. The worst songs for me are.. Spanish Lesson (I hate it, but it's a catchy song hahaha), Give it to me (the GET STUPID part just make the song a whole crap), and Miles Away, I really hate this one.

[gojesabs]

@ajbr1991 I was so mad when I heard that Give It 2 me and Miles Away would be the 2nd and the 3rd single! Thesesongs were two of my least favourite songs from this album.

When I saw the video for Give It 2 Me I hated song even more! :D

[Charliebangel]

Shes not me:good song in the middle just useless and house sound sucks!!

Beat goes on,a good one,except the rap part,what a crap!

Dance TOnight:ok, too much "pharell" style.

Spanish lesson:love it! lyrics are simple,clean...9/10

Devil...with M.Away the best in this album.Lyrics are fantastic and music too..10/10

Voices,great and great song,very arabish!

All HC:4/10

Please Madonna go back! No more esitation!

Tom and Vale i agree with u guys,u're so cool and funny!! Go on!!!

[Charliebangel]

Hard Candy is the wors Madonna album,we know that! I didnt want to hear it but now that I heard I can say something about HC.

The Cover sucks totally!!! My God u're ridiculous,cmon u're 50!!!!Dont wear the body ANYMORE!

All the album is empty and superficial!what,we have to dance,dance dance all night?

Candy shop is nice,the lyrics dont.

4M and Givit2me...crap!!!! Too much house music and superficial!

Heartbeat,it' ok,better than the other ones!

Miley away:one of the best song in this album!

[inplane99]

''It's like a Fergie album'' hahahha yes but it's ok the album didn't suck but now american life is her worst album after hard candy...

[ricky8541]

why is it that madonna did not release "hearbeat" so many fans think is the best from hard candy becuase it is.

[newmex78]

Toms reaction is funny when she says she should do something like American Life again LOL

[chobonaino]

Spanish song is terrible, and when you are a native Spanish speaker you just hate ittttttt!!!

[leander1991]

I think val has a more experimental taste

[ifeelyou86]

spanish lessons the worst madonna song ever!!!!!!!!!!!

[bklynleo887]

I actually LOVE it now ... I hated it when I first heard it.

[ifeelyou86]

the worst madonna album!!!!!!!

[lightstar84]

Heartbeat is the best!

[lightstar84]

I love this album start to finish!

[Faysalaaa]

How Can U Say Madonna Cover Is inappropriate In A Bad Way ? She Is inappropriate

[MisterVerite]

I like CANDY SHOP, but I agree with you when you say that the song is not complete. It really sounds like a demo. The version in the album should be like the "live" version, which is way better and more sophisticated.

[vinny111]

the album cover is amazing i luv it she looks firrce,?candy shop song is hot aswell i dont like 4 mins tho

[dbongo1977]

My least favourite Madonna album. I wanted to like it, but I don't.

[irina1296]

Great as always from Queen of Music! Yes, I liked Confessions on a Dance Floor better but Hard Candy is still very unique dance/R&B album.

Miles Away, Heartbeat, Dance 2night are special.

[MrAdriaNn0]

Worst album ever

[joeyc5000]

hey jerks, i am a HUGE MADONNA fan, and hard candy is one of her best works ever. your critisisms are simplistic at best. it's you who are "stupid", you stupid, dumb jerks! how dare you! show madonna some respect, you talentless jerks

[abe1289]

The whole album is good. She's not me is a good song.

[blueeyesofice]

Hard Candy's the best cd ever. i'm still addicted to it. has no bad songs and most of them are incredible.

[kidparkerbanned]

blueeyesofice must be 14 or a screaming Tyra fan

[buffymadonna1313]

is anybody else scared by these two?

[basketballguru45]

i am. their so weird and they suck at reviewing. hard candy was awesome

[marqass]

i looooooooooooooove this album its one of her best

[MonikaAhatX]

Heartbeat is my personal favorite song in Hard Candy. Yes, she can do better than HC.

[ScienceProjek]

Hard Candy Is Gross, I Hate That Album... It's Not Good.

[EcuaRiquenoCuban]

Yeah I hear that Val...Heartbeat!

[veradodawg]

WTF!? LOL Hard Candy didn't suck at all-BUT I do agree, American Life was her most under-rated release. Hard Candy pumped out some great tracks; Give It to Me, Incredible(best track on album), Miles Away, The Devil Wouldn't Reconize, Voices, It did contain a couple filler tracks that could have been omitted but seriously overall it was a great 'Madonna' album. Not everything can be Stuart Price boys and girls. And about the album cover-indeed it was vile and nasty. It was perfect.

[basketballguru45]

the cover was cool and it definitely got people's attention.

[XXXVisionsXXX]

I personally think that madonna "over-collaborated" on Hard Candy. It's almost as if she's a guest on the album. She sorta tried to hard to fit into contemporary r&b, loosing herself in it.

Overally, it's a ok, dancable album, but for madonna standards, it's poorly.

M, stop screwing Jesus Luz and get your toned azz into the studio and record

[kidzurdo]

Timba & cia is the worst for Madonna. I think Stuart Price is very good (her biggest producer), Stuart COME BACK PLEASE!. timba = shit , SPANISH LESSONS & PHARREL = shit. I like beat goes on, she's not me and miles away only.

[armgarci]

The only thing that this album makes me feel is just missing "Ray of light" era. Madonna can do better than Hard candy.

[ImmortalMathias]

Sooo, if Ray Of Light's her greatest album of all time, EVERYTHING else will be inferior. Now, are you just gonna $#!% all over everything else she does, from now-on?

[armgarci]

No, of course not. But im sure she can do better than Hard Candy :)

[sageharris]

American Life doesn't sucks!

[ImmortalMathias]

"Voices"- I thought started & ended, brilliantly. In between was somewhat lackluster, for me. I actually lost a bet- I predicted that Madonna would use the N-word on this album, to coincide with her newest "black" transition-attempt. I do think- the final line would've been perfect- "Who is the n!99er & who is the slave?" It traditionally would've gotten controversy, Madonna-style, yet analytically would've been seen as a motivational lyric, not a blatant insult.

I'd LOVE 2 direct a video 4 it!

[ImmortalMathias]

"Dance 2night"- I like, say from 2:32 - on. Not radio/single-worthy

"Spanish Lesson"- sound reminds me of "Make Over", by Christina Aguilera, off the Stripped CD, for some reason. One lyric-change I'd make tho, is- "When YOU'RE DONE your homework, get up on the dance floor."

"Devil Wouldn't Recognize You" has a mysterious side, that's appealing. Musically, it's a twin of "Cry Me A River"- same beat. It actually reminds me A LOT of Christopher Ciccone & his book-fiasco. Visually amazing, live!!

[ImmortalMathias]

I can understand the frustration with Madonna's collaborations; I went thru that, too. But, you gotta remember- that's what EVERY1's doing, now. Either she adapts with the times or gets swallowed-up. Besides, it's easier than seeing Bette Midler or Barbara Streisand busting-out raps wit these G's!

And, in regards to her letting her guard down, as far as being a trend-setter- she also likes to challenger herself. Never once did SHE proclaim herself- The Originator

AND, nothing's permanent . . .

[ImmortalMathias]

I kinda liked the original, stripped-down demo of "Beat Goes On" MUCH better, at 1st. It took a WHILE for the final version to grow on me. To this day, I consider it more of a remix?

What's interesting tho, is- "Flashing Light", by Kanye West, always reminded me of Madonna, lyrically- and he uses the phrase in her song!

Simply put- obviously she captured him for her CD, 'cause of his prior, opening-week album-sales. It's business.

In the long run, her dip into the hip-hop-pool should prevail!

[ImmortalMathias]

"She's Not Me" was the track that every1 thought was about Britney. That alone could've enabled its early release-success. But, on the contrary- its extended finale, I thought, MADE the song. It was like it transformed back into the Confessions album, once the dance-beat kicked in. The FOLLOWING track, however, WAS far too long. It attempted to copy "She's Not Me" by switching it up, late. Ultimately, "Incredible" dragged & the sex-reference/line was embarrassing.

"Just 1 of dem days"- Monica

[ImmortalMathias]

If you've forgotten about "Miles Away" already, then we have a problem. It's the single-most agreeable track of the entire album. Critics compared her vocals in the song, to that of hers in Evita. Not to mention- she launched the single with the announcement of her divorce. I'm disgusted that radio has ignored "Miles Away". Maybe if it's release was next-after "4 Mins.", the result would've been different. The crowd ate it up, live- and deservingly so.

Besides- "fuzzy dream"! "I'm So Stupid"!?!

[ImmortalMathias]

Radio plays punk, metal, dance, country, rap, ballads- you name it. Somehow, I just don't think hearing Madonna over the airwaves, will make the industry crumble.

"4 Minutes", "Give It 2 Me", "Miles Away", "Devil Wouldn't Recognize You", "She's Not Me", "Heartbeat", & "Beat Goes On" could all EASILY be played on mainstream US radio in 2009, period.

But, ageism, sexism, her past, her politics, & her personal life gets judged & misunderstood, and gets top priority for whatever reason- which SUX!

[ImmortalMathias]

"It may feel old, to you- but to me, it feels new." Need we say more? That's like the motto of the entire CD- or her career, at this point. And, let's face it- "See my booty get down like-" NEEDED to happen, or else IT would never work, lol

But, about all this "radio-friendly" stuff . . . Don't you understand that if Madonna doesn't "do good" on radio, that's OUR fault! Surely you're not gonna tell me that radio's always played one kinda song thru the generations!?

CALL, VOTE, E-MAIL, REQUEST!

[ImmortalMathias]

"Give It To Me" was literally Madonna VS. The World

92 PRO FM in Providence literally pinned her down, simply for being 50, allowing fans to abundantly come on the air to trash her . . . for being 50. The reviews had NOTHING to do with the actual song, unless they were in favor of it. This song will forever be the rebellious underdog of the album, to me- as was "Nobody Knows Me" & "Nobody's Perfect".

The radio edit didn't do it justice, especially for shortening the finale.

GREAT tour-closer!

[ImmortalMathias]

Personally, I think "4 Mins." was/is HUGE. I was waiting 10 yrs. for a Justin-duet, because I saw the star-quality since the *N Sync-days.

But, what you guys have to understand is- AS Madonna fans, heavily criticizing her on the WORLDwide web, is massively damaging to her career as a 50-yr.-old artist. I mean, really- whose side are you on, anyway? And, seriously- whose more likely to win THE "race"? Think about that . . .

[ImmortalMathias]

1st, she was 49 when the album/cover was released. And, it wasn't supposed to be pretty & glamorous; it was supposed to be hard . . . sticky- if you will. Are boxers/wrestlers supposed to look like Britney & Miley?

"Candy Shop"- somewhat agree, but I'd rather she save additional work for a better song, instead of add to this "incomplete" one. I give it like 2 stars, but it's merely to set the theme for the album-title, etc.

[manussa77]

I was really disapointed by Hard Candy. I mean it was good. But I expected alot more, especially after Confessions. 4 minutes was a great song. The others are just ok. The Sticky and Sweet tour wasn't that good, either.

[vietgrlterifa]

I disagree with you guys saying that these songs don't have staying power. I actually think this CD surpasses Confessions on a Dance Floor as a dance album.

[Buffy667]

It really isn't that bad. Seriously.

[abbieandduke]

have you two ever noticed your alot nicer about madonna when yall are drunk? haha. But how do you really feel Val? you guys are awsome, you need to review Something to Remember by the way and her 2 greatest hits album, yhou 2 rock together. i demand more! i like miles away dance tonight spanish lesson. hated 4 minutes, candy shop, incredible give it to me. Val, your right, souds fergulicious. with all the great producers on that album, it should have rocked, but maybe im showing my age.

[Iconnic101]

I freakin love that album!!!!!!...you guys just totaly got a new subscriber!!!!!

[jakeepowerss]

Good review:] Hard Candy isn't that bad of a album like everything thinks. It's not the best, but its good. Madonna could do a lot better, but I agree I think she is just trying to stay hip with the kids, which she doesnt need too. My favorite songs from this album are Give it 2 me, which gets me so hyped. Beat goes on She's not me Miles Away Heartbeat Devil wouldn't recognize you Miles away and Incredible. all in all, its an okay album.

[stakado17]

VAL!!! I love the last two as well....but all in all..crapp

[alexnature]

I AGREE WITH VAL!!! with every word she said!!! Hard Candy is Madonna's worst album ever.... go American life!!!!!!

[JtothaLO4ever]

GO AMERICAN LIFE!!!!!!!! I want to be your friend!

[OfficialVoice]

VAL ARE YOU CRAZY? BEST ALBUM EVER!

[avoidthecliche]

im glad that incredible brings u on a journey =)