Penn & Teller: ESP: Showtime

[ian27293]

0:00

[bmwdagang]

and the lama turns to see the master like "you believing this bitch, i said i need some running and spiting"

[iownawiianditkool]

i love how they do their stuff that basically says "your all f ing idiots"

[jakisall]

OMG! the gerbil doesn't like the dogs? No shit they'd probably eat him!

[hindview]

What she needs is a big box of ex-lax .

[xcookiexcrumb]

I think It is possible she has a special case of schizophrenia that causes her to only hear voices when in person with animals, I will say now that I'm just making a uneducated guess here...

[bunnykins110P]

@xcookiexcrumb Keyword being "UNEDUCATED" ! What are you people so f-n scared off??

[RIPCB]

She got the name of her form of ESP wrong, it's actually known as "Batshit Insane Telepathy"

[RIPCB]

She got the name of her form of ESP wrong, it's actually known as "Batshit Insane Telepathy"

[SHARK810s]

i guess the only question is whether she is crazy or a con artist... there is no other possibility.

[USA3333]

@SHARK810s

well she gets paid to make up shit. sounds like a con

[dearbornerik]

a dr. dolittle !

[lazacabaza]

LOL the thing at 0:44 looks at the owner like "WTF is this bitch talking about!?"

[garylssk]

shes almost as crazy as the people who pay her to talk to there pets....

[TuahShinguru]

I don't think she's crazy at all.  She's getting paid to do a job that requires no effort. :D

[Jamesthegod6]

Now that is sad.

[22Smucalo]

I have a snake in my pants ,where can i get this lady ,i need to know what did i do with my favorite underwear ,because i was drunk and i guess my snake was sober !!

[NoNameC68]

Whatever it is you did, your sister might want to get checked.

[22Smucalo]

um i don't have a sister ....

Actually i live alone ... and i still miss that underwear !

[TheGizmofromPizmo]

I'm getting a reading from you 'trouser snake' as it calls itself. It says its an anaconda.

[dreskie77]

Funny how a lot of people say she's either crazy or a liar, but if she had said that she was communicating with God, then no one would be talking trash. I guess crazy is only for those who don't believe in what you do.

[Hutcarlingos]

nice point there

And, actually, it is even less absurd to talk to things we CAN see than to talk to things we can't (even though both are bullshit)

[tonip420]

actually if she said that i think a LOT of people would still say she was crazy....

[MrBlazay]

people are scared of god

[Briancmwilliams]

I'm sick of insane atheists and Christians both bringing up their choice in topics that have nothing to do with it.

Fuck off you'll never convert anyone; and in the case of atheists why do you even care if other ppl do stupid shit at least Christians are supposedly saving souls

[BlueRazor69]

idk about everyone else but talking to animals is way crazier then talking to god

[Daclunator]

I dunno, they're pretty equal.

[jake44514]

Unlike god, the animals are real.

[StormRaven]

@dreskie77 Well, I'd say she was crazy if she said she was talking to God, but maybe that's just me.

[theburntcheeto]

@dreskie77 That is actually not true. I would still say she's a lying, crazy, idiot.

[TheRealLachlan]

@dreskie77

What?

[TheMagnificentPony]

@dreskie77 George Carlin said something similar about aliens :D

[MoonPrincess0039]

People here are so negatively opinionated. Sure the cuts and clips were made to make her look more ridiculous. But my god, keep your filthy thoughts to yourself.. haha, I can imagine how miserable you followers must be.. judging someone just cause they were exposed in a biased form for judgement. Are you guys sheep, or what? I don't need ESP for animals to sense sheep .. xD But damn, let people live however the hell they wish to. We're all different and weird we confess to our original state.

[SkullVodka]

That is the dumbest shit i have ever seen. Embarrassing really.

[smallwatermelonz]

tis should be on AFV, or atleast i hope shes acting.

[Entamrik]

It's bullshit, but she's clearly doing nobody harm, unless they pay over $100 for "Hamsters don't like dogs"

[IxSMELLxICECREAM]

"her third eye" lmao

[Bodacious55]

uhhh animals? we're animals too dumbfuck lmao- communicate your bullshit with me!

[kamikazeking21]

Holy shit!!! what dope from what country is this woman on!

[MarkyBh0y88]

haha stupid cunt

[AvengedLoverGirl123]

When her eyes were closed, I was waiting for her to open them and scream LLAMA!!

[chefmarcgirard]

I want some of that talk to animals weed.

[ramza675]

what does she smoke? i want some of that

[imaevilkitty]

animals dont have the same fucking psycology as humans.

damn i hate stupid people.

[LinxMasterMike]

It's spelled psychology, and if you hate stupid people, you may not want to use words you do not know how to spell.

[zarpirino]

I totaly believe in it... yesterday i humped my hamster and guess what i heard it in my head, through my third eye. It said "Hurts!!!!!!!!!"

[MRRICH07]

Wait.....I hear peoples voices coming out of this box but that is impossible!!! How could there be an invisible way to transmit voices?

Dudes, if radio can work, ESP can work with the same concept using a different carrier. This is not that big a strech.

Don't be to quick to disbelieve something.

[Truthiness231]

Um, just because something is possible does not 1) make it true nor 2) give any credence to believing it. Look up the Flying Spaghetti Monster for more on that logical fallacy.

That said, there literally have been tons and tons and tons of studies on ESP; all come out as it's "bullshit" (and fitting for same-titled show). Look up the James Randi Foundation, who has put up $1 million for anyone that can prove anything currently listed as paranormal.

[Truthiness231]

Also, there has never been any indication from any study ever that shows we can pick up and/or receive radio transmissions through our heads (though really really high powered radio waves targeting the temporal lobe from a few inches from the emitting source can cause temporal lobe epilepsy in some people. What does that have to do with this? Nothing, but I'd like to point it out anyway ^.^).

IOW, yes, if we could, then you'd have an argument, but we can't. =P

[MRRICH07]

We hear through soundwaves, see the world through lightwaves. There are enough documented cases where ESP works. As far as Randi goes, I heard Randi keeps changing the rules of collecting the money as many had successfully past the test.

[Truthiness231]

Your logic makes no sense. First, the difference between sound waves and light waves is greater than the difference between day and night. Then your next sentence (a non-sequitur btw) you just decree that ESP actually works (oddly using the qualifier "enough", and I beg to differ). As for what you've heard of James Randi, it's a lie cooked up by those who would like to continue money using this shame.

Please post some actual evidence rather than red herrings (which doesn't exist; I'm positive)

[Truthiness231]

For example there are people who claim that UFO's (the "little green men" kind) are covered up by the government, there are those who claim Bigfoot has hypnotic powers to escape from humans to explain why nobody finds them, Jesus/Magnetic Bracelets/Healing Crystals/whatever work but only if you believe real hard in them (triggering the placebo effect), and a million other arguments to cover for bullshit. A true freethinker requires at least some empirical evidence and not just speculation.

[Truthiness231]

Then, on top of that, one would need to not only "tap into someone's brain" or however one wants to claim this works (I'm sure that too varies widely from ESP nut to ESP nut), but you'd have to be able to speech "rabbitese" or whatever you're trying to speak in. Is "double bullshit" a term?

[MRRICH07]

Look up "Pentagon Preps Soldier Telepathy" in Wired Magazine. "When the soldiers of the future want to communicate, theyll read each others minds." is the quote.

[Truthiness231]

Now you're mixing technology-induced "ESP" with natural ESP. I have no doubt we could put in some computer hardware that would someday translate brainwaves into radio waves and then back to brainwaves, but that's not what these people are claiming. We're actually starting to be able to read thoughts already with computers. Still, that's a completely different subject from this paranormal claim.

I read that article already BTW. I'm a HUGE tech nerd and of course have a subscription ^.^

[Truthiness231]

scq(D0T)ubc(D0T)ca/mathematica­l-proof-of-the-fsm/

You'll have to replace the (D0T)s with actual periods. It's the only way to post a link on YT =/

[Truthiness231]

Oh and remove the space in "mathematica l"

In any case, boom there's "proof" that the FSM exists =P (something we can all agree doesn't actually exist)

[MRRICH07]

Please look up the army report DA-44-009-ENG-1039 documenting ESP in animals.

[tsaiwes99]

Looked up your report. And, to no surprise, the one source was on a site ran by someone who wrote for the NYT. The actual writer of the article was little better than anonymous, and included absolutely zero documentation. In the article, it nowhere says that the supposed experiment yielded any results confirming ESP. The claimed experiment eventually had to be given up because of opposition within the army. I'd suppose it's because everyone but the one conducting it knew ESP is ludicrous.

[MRRICH07]

It is not my report. This is the Army's report. It had been classified for 50 years. Now the Army is doing work to use telepathy on the battlefield.

[YoozYerBrayns]

"I am not saying i believe this, but it cannot be validated. On a purely scientific level, we cannot rule out the possibility of animal psychics only that there is no evidence to support it."

Yes, it can be invalidated. Animals don't speak english, and humans don't speak animal-ese, see.

[TheScarlitRose]

So because people speak a different language than others they can't communicate? The reason for invalidation can be invalidated

[Truthiness231]

LOL, no, he's saying there's no way in hell anyone learned to translate another animal species' language, much less a multitude of them XP

Not to mention that it doesn't follow the rule of burden of proof: you can't disprove anything that doesn't exist. Just try it. Prove a blue penguin that whistles Dixie doesn't exist. You'd literally have to scan the entirety of the universe from one end of time to the other to disprove it... or you could be like the rest of us who say "prove it first". ^.^

[Rollride]

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA people in the states are going insanee

[ImDino]

how stupid do you have to be to belive in this type of shit???

[nametroubles]

I am not saying i believe this, but it cannot be validated. On a purely scientific level, we cannot rule out the possibility of animal psychics only that there is no evidence to support it.

[Quiltfish]

Catering to stupidity is the best business because everyone is an idiot. FACT.

[whoarentyou]

A LLAMA!

[winterstellar]

Haha, she knows there are a lot of retards in America she can fool and make lots of money on! That's why she came, no place has as many gullible and superstitious fucktards as America! Haha, "psychic powers" don't exist, fucktards! Neither for humans nor animals. Jeez!! : )

[dylanskriloff]

animal telepathist helped me once. gave very good advice.

[earthypig]

to recap: I sure as fuck DON'T believe that animals are actually communicating telepathically to this one dopey human woman.

They are simply too smart to be that stupid :p !!

[bugchaplain]

the fact that these retards are popping up everywhere and people are gullible enough to pay them is a strong case for de-evolution.Hey lady the monkies say they want there brains back!

[66kompis]

I totally believe that animals are brighter than people think they are....!!

[earthypig]

i believe that they are brighter too, and that's why i think they are too smart to be wasting time talking in telepathy to that weird freaky lady :>

[goat414]

Believing belongs in religion not in reality ;P

[earthypig]

there are evidences of animal intelligence. i'm not here to suggest that they are as intelligent as humans. but to say that there is no difference between cockroaches and mammals such as dolphins is a fallacy.

[earthypig]

"believe" here was a form of speech. it's based on empirical data we have so far. wolves are capable of mourning for their beloved partner when they are shot by hunters, to the extent of risking their own safety. oh, and btw, i'm an atheist.

[goat414]

yes, as i said, they will mourn a loss in the pack, but will not spare for instance a rabbit because they pity it. Something human hunters are very capable of doing, and it happens

(p.s i meant it like a figure of speech, i'm an atheist too.)

[earthypig]

it's a survival game for them! either they die or the rabbit dies. human hunters have a choice of either killing the rabbit or. besides it depneds on the hunter, i think actually the hunters who hunt rabbits and mourn them at the same time are HYPOCRITES - either eat that shit proudly or stop hunting! wel i'm being facetious here, just because the wolves' morality isn't "developped" enough for them to be hypocrites, it does not mean they are same as cockroaches. far from it.

[goat414]

no they are much cuter :P

[goat414]

well you are right, their morality aren't developed enough, their frontal lobe isn't developed equally to the ones of humans, (and some primates)

[earthypig]

i never said their sense of morality is developed the same level of humans. humans are only beasts complicated enough to attain the crowning achievements of hypocrisy. and believe me, for all its faults i would never equal one human life for one animal life. however, to smugly lump all animals under the category of "as dumb and as dispensable as a cockroach" is simply wrong.

[earthypig]

meant to say "humans are THE only beasts complicated enough to attain the crowning achievements of hypocrisy":p:p

[earthypig]

also human beings are the only beasts stupid (and intelligent) enough to believe in religion!!! :p !!! u really need special kind of dumb intelligence for THAT motherf***er! :p

[goat414]

animals don't:

Have a frontal lobe= No sympathy, mercy, humility

Most don't have a perception of "I"

may look cute but they aren't much brighter than roaches. sad but true

[earthypig]

actually no sympathy is not exactly correct. not when you see animals adopting babies from other species and caring for them like their own. not when you see dogs risking their lives to care for their owners. evidences of altruistic behavior by animals abound in nature. it is our understanding of how brain really works that is limited. having said that, claiming that animals talk in telepathy to one particularly fucked up human being is total GARBAGE.

[goat414]

Adopting babies: Seeing them as their own spawn, since they lack any own young.

rescuing their owners: Dogs are pack animals, there top priorities are the survival of the pack, not sympathy.

They have been known to rescue others, but only if taught to do so, directly or indirectly.

Dogs are however very smart, and are one of the few animals that have an "I". i.e. can see that it is them when looking in a mirror.

Most animals will look and think that it is another animal

[earthypig]

evidences of altruistic behavior has been recorded in the wild.

human beings are "taught"behavior as well, directly or indirectly. we all learn from experiencce.

[CartervonRiedel]

wow that woman is a fuckhead...

[Microlink1980]

I wonder if people actually pay that woman to give their pets psychic readings or if she just wanders up to random people in the park and starts telling them what their pets are thinking. If she gets paid, maybe I should become a pet psychic. "Your cat is afraid of dogs...your fish wants a bigger tank." I'll I'd need is an accent.

[StrayIkon]

lol

[Mokper]

BULLSHIT