People need to stop worrying about wither all this religion stuff is real or not and just live life and treat people with kindness and respect. Not because some book tells you to, but because you know it's the right thing to do. If there is no such thing as heaven and what not then you can die knowing you were good. And if there is such a thing as heaven and all that, you'll be fine because you lived a good life and treated people kindly. Put the book down, stop the hate and just live life.
A Doctor on TV said in order to have inner peace we should always finish things we start & we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked around my house to find things I'd started & hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of vodka, a botl of somthin, than cupl of prscriptuns, n a box a choclets. Yu haf no ider how fabulus I feel rite now. Sned dis to all who need iner piss lmfao!
Wait till you read about the serbs, their church teaches they have their own heaven, a chosen people, competition for the jews. Then in the zohar, they teach adam and eve kicked god out of the garden. One big pile of crap if you ask me.
@7Bosten People normally do understand that the Bible has nothing to do with reality. It's just a way of making fun of those who really do think that the Bible could be taken as a source of truth of any description.
LOL i guess you can convince A LOT of scared people with low intelligence of just about anything! "Oh these places really exist," yes, THAT proves the entire bible is true! not the fossil record, not things you can actually see & touch - no those things make NO sense compared to some fairy tales written by WHO? NO ONE KNOWS. "it's the word of god," but oh, some of it isn't true anymore, stoning people isn't good (why not, ur god says it is, was he wrong?), but being gay, still wrong - yeah.
2 ants, 2 anteaters. And that's why there are no ants in the world today. The anteaters starved as well of course, one ant each in 40 days. That's why there are no anteaters anymore either. And the lions and tigers? They probably ate the dinosaurs.
So the Judeo-Christian God was a self-hating homosexual spited by man, which resulted in the "Great Flood"! That explains everything! Karl Pilkington is a fucking genius!
Religion is believing is something you can not prove. That makes everyone on earth religious even you! People believe in aliens, conspiracies, even the illusions in their mind. It is good to laugh at the comedy like I do, but to take this guy as a source of wisdom to disprove over 2,000 years of philosophy, theology, astronomy and prophecy is hilariously a radical religious choice. LMFAO!
@SamsonElitsa "Religion is believing is something you can not prove."
Find me one dictionary in which faith is the only requirement for a concept to be considered a religion. Religion encompasses rituals, the afterlife, the supernatural, a moral code, and so on. Saying that I think that one particular economic strategy will work better than another, even if I do not have absolute proof, does not make that into a religious statement.
All I have to say to religious people is don't believe everything you read. Just because you like a book, doesn't mean it's real. Plus the Bible has more holes in it than than an 80's action movie plot.
I find it amusing that people believe that aliens exist, one day star trek & star wars could happen & that it is possible to create a jurassic park! But a written religious history proven by archeology has to be laughed at because it sounds impossible to do in their little minds. That is why they believe aliens built or gave us knowledge of all ancient accomplishments. For some reason that seems more realistic. lol. God to be gay is even more ridiculous! What kind of sick fantasy is that! lmfo!
@SamsonElitsa There is no actual proof that god is real. Beings from another planet is a more likely story than a bearded man floating in the sky, watching your every move. god is santa clause for grown ups.
@weedbeast13 AHAHA! Dude where the heck in the Bible does it say God is a bearded man floating in the sky? I would love to know. I would also like to know where in the Bible it describes God as being like santa clause. People may think God is like santa clause, but that is because those people are selfish and seek their own selfish desires before God.
@SamsonElitsa A few places have been found archaeologically, the arch never has been. Only THREE historians from Jesus time have mentioned him briefly and since have been disproved. Furthermore, in a universe where billions of galaxies with billions of solar systems exist, it is statistically likely that another planet has good enough conditions for life to exist. Considering the light year distances and the vast space, statistically we will never meet. And God isn't gay cause there is not god.
@stoox006 Most places have been found in the bible. I have never seen historians writing about humble sacrifices one a lone person who died for an unknown cause. You keep searching for aliens and planets, even though you do not yet understand the people here and the plant you live on. You will statistically never meet your aliens or your God. lol
@SamsonElitsa "Most places have been found in the Bible."
So? In the Sherlock Holmes series, Holmes' apartment belongs to a real address, the Scotland Yard is an actual group, and London is an actual city. It doesn't mean that Sherlock Holmes is a real person, only that real places have been used so as to 1) give the story an air of credibility, and 2) make the characters and plot more relateable to the audience.
@TheorPixi Non believers laughed when they couldn't find the places. Now that someone found them, they say the place is real but the characters were fictional & laughed again. They found evidence of kings and emperors from the bible inscribed in tablets & buildings & had to change their story to? Sherlock Holmes was not a real character? Oh my God! I mean oh my not really a God! What a waste of time looking up to someone that believed in love & peace & would sacrifice his life to insure that!!!
@SamsonElitsa They also thought that places described in Ancient Greek myths and stories weren't real either, and were shown to be wrong. Does it follow that Zeus exists and that the tales of Mount Olympus are also true? Of course not. You didn't actually address what I'd said, just repeated it with a sarcastic twist.
A PRINCE had Monkeys trained to dance. Being mimics, they were most apt pupils & arrayed in clothes & masks, they danced as well as courtiers. The spectacle was repeated with great applause, till one day a courtier took some nuts & threw them on the stage. At the sight of the nuts they forgot their training & became Monkeys. Pulling off their masks & tearing their robes, they fought with one another for the nuts. The spectacle came to an end amidst the laughter & ridicule of the audience.
@TheoreticalPixies Etymology of the word Religion comes from Latin "respect for what is sacred," So respect other people's freedom of choice as they do yours!
@SamsonElitsa Another nonsensical statement. Not only do words evolve so that their common usage greatly differs from their origins or literal interpretation (ex: dinosaur means fearful lizard, though we have learned that they are not lizards), but respect for sacred =/= respect for freedom of choice. As it happens, I think people are free to choose so long as their decisions don't infringe the rights of others, which unfortunately tends to be often for religious fundamentalists.
@TheoreticalPixies Actually Dino "Deinos" Means "fearfully Great/Grand" and the name was created in 1800's AD by a British person not reflecting ancient views of the species but a modern interpretation using an unfamiliar language to define. If you step outside your socialistic box and open your mind to the actual story behind the dumbed down mickey mouse version you will see that ancient religions were far advance in philosophy, astronomy and understanding of the universe as self & conscious.
@SamsonElitsa People who don't believe in god(s) don't believe aliens gave or built us anything...maybe a few crackpots do, but I'm guessing you got that from the history channel's insanely inaccurate & sensational 'history specials'. They are not evidence based. People who do not profess critical thinking go on to believe things because of word of mouth, or because something is portrayed as factual, when in fact it is not. (Eg : the bible, tv) I suggest you find factual and scientific sources.
@danceswithgnomes1 So do you believe that our planet and everything inside it was a combination of accidental and mutative reasons, or do you believe that there was an order of the universe that purposely created this impossible paradise in the universe. Also how do you explain your "consciousness" and ability to realize and decide your belief based on your senses that deceive you daily.
Let's say this is all true. lol no seriously let's say the bible is all true. How did a kangaroo make it across an ocean, and a desert, and not get killed by some person who was like... "What the hell is that thing? Let's kill it and eat it!" and make it to Noah's Arc? As for the people saying that there's proof that prophesies about Jesus have been proven true.... can I see this proof? Because we have a hard time proving to people we even went to the moon, and that was like 40 years ago.
@ItsCuzImDED Not to mention one of the few testable prognostications Jesus is told to had made -that he would come back to Earth before all of those eating with him in the Last Supper had died- didn't happened.
@jolex7 It wasn't the last supper, but other than that you're dead on. Of course an evangelist will tell you that you're interpreting the verses incorrectly and that he was speaking metaphorically or some such horse sh*t. But I think the words are pretty clear that he really thought he was coming back sometime soon after his death. Maybe god told him that to trick him onto the cross. Maybe there is a god and he just really enjoys f*cking with people.
What makes him funny is he uses a child's book to prove that religion is childish. lol I gues reading the bible was not that funny or not possible for him lol.
I see you are a philosopher: The ontological argument is false because it can only conclude that whatever the meaning of "positive" is needs to be exemplified in reality. It does not prove God exists, only true statements must be derived from substantial things. What are your thoughts about that?
I find it amusing that people believe that aliens exist, one day star trek & star wars could happen & that it is possible to create a jurassic park! But a written religious history proven by archeology has to be laughed at because it sounds impossible to do in their little minds. That is why they believe aliens built or gave us knowledge of all ancient accomplishments. For some reason that seems more realistic. lol. God to be gay is even more ridiculous! What kind of sick fantasy is that! lmfo!
@SamsonElitsa Want to tell us what this child's book got wrong quickly? Because it sounds like the same thing. Watered down sure, but inherently the same.
@harpdevil I understand it is easy to make fun of the bible children's version and the one made for peasants 2,300 years ago. I hope you are not comparing your thought of today to then or a child's book lol!
if there was a god, i hope he would have the humor to play gay (if he is not, and that has to be proofed) at the end of days for sellfrightous christians ^ ^
@dermycock222 I don't know the author, or what his/her moral standards are, but this children's book teaches the general idea in extremely broad terms. Hence the words "chirldren's book."
@toomanyaccounts No it doesn't. Sorry, that is your own faulty opinion. Why is this "myth" found on every continent of the world? Something really happened - the Bible gives the only true account because it is God-inspired - God breathed text. You may disagree, but you cannot prove me wrong.
@mandminjapan Couldn't it have been found because when it was created man spread it themselves? Also, even if God can't be definitively proven to be false, he cannot be proven true either. The Bible is just a book. Read it, get your own opinion on the story and move onto the next read.
@Grifelid God has definitely proven himself real to me... and not just his existence but his faithfulness as well. The Bible is not just any book. More than 300 detailed & fulfilled prophecies about Jesus alone. It is truly a book like no other. No mere human/humans could have written this.
@hakkujin There is no unicorn in the original Bible. Only in the KJV, and that is a misinterpretation and is referring to oxen or a rhinoceros. Nice try
I was being sarcastic. I am aware of that passage. Just poking a joke at this book which now contradicts the bible. Also, the bible doesn't specifically state these animals survived the voyage. Some could have died. And the seven pairs were all likely "clean for rituals" according to the earliest interpretations. Meaning they were going to be killed eventually so they may have no part in reproduction purposes. And it doesn't state the gender of these specifically either.
@texbls Why did you say that you are an "atheist BUT I think it's...?" All atheists know that these stories are just that, stories. Nowhere in the Bible does it suggest that these stories are to be taken as metaphor though. Therefore, Christians everywhere believe that these events *actually* occurred. That's why Ricky interpreted this story "literally word for word."
THE STRENGTH OF YOUR BELIEFS MUST BE REALLY WEAK OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE FLAGGED MY COMMENT AS "SPAM". I FLAGGED COMMENTS AS 'SPAM' TO THOSE WHO TAKE UP HALF OF THE PAGE REPEATING FEW WORDS SAYING NOTHING AT ALL!! BUT WHY SHOULD YOU SPAM A COMMENT THAT SAID, "GOD IS NOT HUMAN"?! MORE PEOPLE READ "FLAG FOR SPAM" THAN NOT, AFTER ALL, THE WORD "SHOW" NEXT TO "THIS COMMENT HAS RECEIVED TOO MANY NEGATIVE VOTES" CREATES SUCH CURIOSITY!!
They had to build up a story to prove that every single species on earth is inbred. Unfortunately, they didn't realise that if they could make up stories someone would debunk it.
What about certain plants and single cell organisms? They produce asexually ... did they need to take one or two of them????? Space comes at a premium on a boat
@Jadiewady THE LORD HIMSELF HAS AN EXCELLENT SENSE OF HUMOUR. UNFORTUNATELY, MAJORITY OF THE POPULATION GAINS KNOWLEDGE OF THE LORD'S GREAT SENSE OF HUMOUR WHEN IT'S TOO LATE.
@2ListenAndSing You know I always thought that 'if' there was a God, and there were 'believers and unbelieveres' that the unbelievers would TALK LIKE THIS and the believers who I quote 'have seen the light' would be calm and wise and elightened. THE WAY YOU TALK DOES NOT SOUND VERY CONVINCING BECAUSE IT IS IN BIG LETTERS. Don't get so upset, if you think you are doing the right thing and we're not, then just feel love and compassion instead of this.
I don't have problems with religious people or atheists. Also, I am no religious scholar but I don't think the bible is supposed to be taken literally. It was after all written by men. Not a god.
If you lived in New Orleans and knew nothing about anything else but the city, then when Katrina hit you'd come up with a story like this too in order to explain why you no longer have a home and a bunch of people you knew are now dead.
i dont belong in any religion but i think its wrong to make a humor out of someone's religion or beliefs.. try that to the muslims and you'd get your ass kicked.
@Domz0120 Religion is a giant mockery. It deserves to be ridiculed, if for no other reason, for threatening millions of people. Their holy books summon death upon non-believers. I make fun of religion daily. Muslims won't kick my ass. They're just as fucking stupid as Christians. If you believe this bullshit, you have no place in civilized society. By tolerating a Muslim's insane faith for fear of "getting my ass kicked," I'm giving them all of the credibility in the world to continue.
@teh1337hackz0rz im an atheist myself, long ago i was a Christian but discovered that religion like you said caused the world a lot of problems, and also i realized that stories like that of noah seems pretty illogical to be real, ive meet a lot of Christian folks and muslims and they are good people who deserve no such mockery.
Be careful though when making fun of them. Riots happened and a few people died because a cartoonist drew the character of Muhammad. A cartoon FFS. And they say atheists like to run around killing people.
Yea, they all claim to be peaceful, but we know it's BS.
Don't make fun, just challenge everything in their holy books with logic. They'll either start to question their faith or threaten you with 'eternal damnation'. Usually the latter.
@ZeusZahouani lol he's good at pointing out how stupid the bible is. even though i'm catholic i know not to take the bible literally. unfortunately, a lot of asshole "christians" do.
@ZeusZahouani Ricky doesn't do this to attack religion...I hate people who misinterpret this. Also, he is mocking a story that is only meant to be a metaphor. I am independent but I know that these stories are just to teach a lesson, not to tell history. Ricky made some jokes about the Bible, he didn't use comedy as a "weapon" so stfu.
People need to stop worrying about wither all this religion stuff is real or not and just live life and treat people with kindness and respect. Not because some book tells you to, but because you know it's the right thing to do. If there is no such thing as heaven and what not then you can die knowing you were good. And if there is such a thing as heaven and all that, you'll be fine because you lived a good life and treated people kindly. Put the book down, stop the hate and just live life.
supersaiyanjax93 2 days ago
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A Doctor on TV said in order to have inner peace we should always finish things we start & we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked around my house to find things I'd started & hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of vodka, a botl of somthin, than cupl of prscriptuns, n a box a choclets. Yu haf no ider how fabulus I feel rite now. Sned dis to all who need iner piss lmfao!
SamsonElitsa 3 days ago
What are you doing?
...seeing God
XD
Dementeddizzy79 4 days ago
Damn you Ricky Gervais, you should 'ave put up a sign: No eating while watching'! I almost choked on a f-ing peanut!!
MultiGuuru 4 days ago
Two giraffes got there first. Longer legs.
DishGutta 4 days ago
This is going to be the topic of my next song.
cbmtrx 4 days ago
#RickyGervais = howling with laughter! Thank you!!
AngCiru 4 days ago
Ricky Gervais sent me here :)
o0mgn 4 days ago 4
Thank you Ricky Gervais
StacksNyc80 5 days ago
Wait till you read about the serbs, their church teaches they have their own heaven, a chosen people, competition for the jews. Then in the zohar, they teach adam and eve kicked god out of the garden. One big pile of crap if you ask me.
666vampirik 1 week ago
I retract that particular segment, try the entire video. God I love Ricky Gervais (big hooped earring God and all).
tmetcalfe89 1 week ago
3:45 The pitches this man's voice can hit are astounding.
tmetcalfe89 1 week ago
FAVOURITISM!!! Damn you Noah... Frickin hell
Fleuryette 1 week ago
hang on, if Noah sacrificed say a goat, does that mean there's only one goat left?
Grundypants 1 week ago 2
I never got a prize for being in school.....
hermione624420 1 week ago
Comment removed
ORTmusic 1 week ago
So sad that people take the story of the ark literally. Most of the bible is allegorical. How do people not understand this?
7Bosten 1 week ago
@7Bosten People normally do understand that the Bible has nothing to do with reality. It's just a way of making fun of those who really do think that the Bible could be taken as a source of truth of any description.
johanwinston 1 week ago
Such a flawed flawed story, Noah's Ark, crock of shit.
cartmanofsp 2 weeks ago
Well we got feet too! xDDD
Javiikyuu 2 weeks ago
LOL i guess you can convince A LOT of scared people with low intelligence of just about anything! "Oh these places really exist," yes, THAT proves the entire bible is true! not the fossil record, not things you can actually see & touch - no those things make NO sense compared to some fairy tales written by WHO? NO ONE KNOWS. "it's the word of god," but oh, some of it isn't true anymore, stoning people isn't good (why not, ur god says it is, was he wrong?), but being gay, still wrong - yeah.
kelly4truth 2 weeks ago
2 ants, 2 anteaters. And that's why there are no ants in the world today. The anteaters starved as well of course, one ant each in 40 days. That's why there are no anteaters anymore either. And the lions and tigers? They probably ate the dinosaurs.
EarlOfSodom 2 weeks ago
god is racist :O he only took noah and hes white! what about the other races :O and hes a homophobe!!!!
moneshmahtani 2 weeks ago
@moneshmahtani Not God. Just the rabbis who wrote the book about what they thought he should be like.
EarlOfSodom 2 weeks ago
omg! if now theres 5 million what about back then... that must have been a big ark.. oh wait, its a load if bs
moneshmahtani 2 weeks ago
"whats the squid ever done?!" favorite quote ever
DrThrustbone 2 weeks ago
@DrThrustbone The squid didn't drown, wasn't on the Ark either. Didn't need to be. All swimming animals are without sin.
EarlOfSodom 2 weeks ago
I really wish my Sunday school was like this.
TheoreticalPixies 2 weeks ago
So the Judeo-Christian God was a self-hating homosexual spited by man, which resulted in the "Great Flood"! That explains everything! Karl Pilkington is a fucking genius!
lflinares 3 weeks ago
Religion is believing is something you can not prove. That makes everyone on earth religious even you! People believe in aliens, conspiracies, even the illusions in their mind. It is good to laugh at the comedy like I do, but to take this guy as a source of wisdom to disprove over 2,000 years of philosophy, theology, astronomy and prophecy is hilariously a radical religious choice. LMFAO!
SamsonElitsa 3 weeks ago 2
@SamsonElitsa "Religion is believing is something you can not prove."
Find me one dictionary in which faith is the only requirement for a concept to be considered a religion. Religion encompasses rituals, the afterlife, the supernatural, a moral code, and so on. Saying that I think that one particular economic strategy will work better than another, even if I do not have absolute proof, does not make that into a religious statement.
TheoreticalPixies 2 weeks ago
Must have been one big boat.
jaybanthony 3 weeks ago
All I have to say to religious people is don't believe everything you read. Just because you like a book, doesn't mean it's real. Plus the Bible has more holes in it than than an 80's action movie plot.
MrBumtrouble 3 weeks ago
I find it amusing that people believe that aliens exist, one day star trek & star wars could happen & that it is possible to create a jurassic park! But a written religious history proven by archeology has to be laughed at because it sounds impossible to do in their little minds. That is why they believe aliens built or gave us knowledge of all ancient accomplishments. For some reason that seems more realistic. lol. God to be gay is even more ridiculous! What kind of sick fantasy is that! lmfo!
SamsonElitsa 3 weeks ago
@SamsonElitsa There is no actual proof that god is real. Beings from another planet is a more likely story than a bearded man floating in the sky, watching your every move. god is santa clause for grown ups.
weedbeast13 3 weeks ago
@weedbeast13 AHAHA! Dude where the heck in the Bible does it say God is a bearded man floating in the sky? I would love to know. I would also like to know where in the Bible it describes God as being like santa clause. People may think God is like santa clause, but that is because those people are selfish and seek their own selfish desires before God.
GuitarGage870 3 weeks ago
@SamsonElitsa A few places have been found archaeologically, the arch never has been. Only THREE historians from Jesus time have mentioned him briefly and since have been disproved. Furthermore, in a universe where billions of galaxies with billions of solar systems exist, it is statistically likely that another planet has good enough conditions for life to exist. Considering the light year distances and the vast space, statistically we will never meet. And God isn't gay cause there is not god.
stoox006 3 weeks ago
@stoox006 Most places have been found in the bible. I have never seen historians writing about humble sacrifices one a lone person who died for an unknown cause. You keep searching for aliens and planets, even though you do not yet understand the people here and the plant you live on. You will statistically never meet your aliens or your God. lol
SamsonElitsa 3 weeks ago
@SamsonElitsa "Most places have been found in the Bible."
So? In the Sherlock Holmes series, Holmes' apartment belongs to a real address, the Scotland Yard is an actual group, and London is an actual city. It doesn't mean that Sherlock Holmes is a real person, only that real places have been used so as to 1) give the story an air of credibility, and 2) make the characters and plot more relateable to the audience.
TheoreticalPixies 2 weeks ago
@TheorPixi Non believers laughed when they couldn't find the places. Now that someone found them, they say the place is real but the characters were fictional & laughed again. They found evidence of kings and emperors from the bible inscribed in tablets & buildings & had to change their story to? Sherlock Holmes was not a real character? Oh my God! I mean oh my not really a God! What a waste of time looking up to someone that believed in love & peace & would sacrifice his life to insure that!!!
SamsonElitsa 2 weeks ago
@SamsonElitsa They also thought that places described in Ancient Greek myths and stories weren't real either, and were shown to be wrong. Does it follow that Zeus exists and that the tales of Mount Olympus are also true? Of course not. You didn't actually address what I'd said, just repeated it with a sarcastic twist.
TheoreticalPixies 1 week ago
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A PRINCE had Monkeys trained to dance. Being mimics, they were most apt pupils & arrayed in clothes & masks, they danced as well as courtiers. The spectacle was repeated with great applause, till one day a courtier took some nuts & threw them on the stage. At the sight of the nuts they forgot their training & became Monkeys. Pulling off their masks & tearing their robes, they fought with one another for the nuts. The spectacle came to an end amidst the laughter & ridicule of the audience.
SamsonElitsa 1 week ago 3
@TheoreticalPixies Etymology of the word Religion comes from Latin "respect for what is sacred," So respect other people's freedom of choice as they do yours!
SamsonElitsa 1 week ago 4
@SamsonElitsa Another nonsensical statement. Not only do words evolve so that their common usage greatly differs from their origins or literal interpretation (ex: dinosaur means fearful lizard, though we have learned that they are not lizards), but respect for sacred =/= respect for freedom of choice. As it happens, I think people are free to choose so long as their decisions don't infringe the rights of others, which unfortunately tends to be often for religious fundamentalists.
TheoreticalPixies 1 week ago
@TheoreticalPixies Actually Dino "Deinos" Means "fearfully Great/Grand" and the name was created in 1800's AD by a British person not reflecting ancient views of the species but a modern interpretation using an unfamiliar language to define. If you step outside your socialistic box and open your mind to the actual story behind the dumbed down mickey mouse version you will see that ancient religions were far advance in philosophy, astronomy and understanding of the universe as self & conscious.
SamsonElitsa 1 week ago
@SamsonElitsa People who don't believe in god(s) don't believe aliens gave or built us anything...maybe a few crackpots do, but I'm guessing you got that from the history channel's insanely inaccurate & sensational 'history specials'. They are not evidence based. People who do not profess critical thinking go on to believe things because of word of mouth, or because something is portrayed as factual, when in fact it is not. (Eg : the bible, tv) I suggest you find factual and scientific sources.
danceswithgnomes1 3 weeks ago
@danceswithgnomes1 So do you believe that our planet and everything inside it was a combination of accidental and mutative reasons, or do you believe that there was an order of the universe that purposely created this impossible paradise in the universe. Also how do you explain your "consciousness" and ability to realize and decide your belief based on your senses that deceive you daily.
SamsonElitsa 3 weeks ago 2
ROFLMMFAOLOL!!!
yourtreat2 3 weeks ago
Let's say this is all true. lol no seriously let's say the bible is all true. How did a kangaroo make it across an ocean, and a desert, and not get killed by some person who was like... "What the hell is that thing? Let's kill it and eat it!" and make it to Noah's Arc? As for the people saying that there's proof that prophesies about Jesus have been proven true.... can I see this proof? Because we have a hard time proving to people we even went to the moon, and that was like 40 years ago.
ItsCuzImDED 3 weeks ago 46
@ItsCuzImDED Also, if the bible is true, why have there never been any whale fossils found on mountain tops?
autumnsylver 1 week ago
@ItsCuzImDED Not to mention one of the few testable prognostications Jesus is told to had made -that he would come back to Earth before all of those eating with him in the Last Supper had died- didn't happened.
jolex7 3 days ago
@jolex7 It wasn't the last supper, but other than that you're dead on. Of course an evangelist will tell you that you're interpreting the verses incorrectly and that he was speaking metaphorically or some such horse sh*t. But I think the words are pretty clear that he really thought he was coming back sometime soon after his death. Maybe god told him that to trick him onto the cross. Maybe there is a god and he just really enjoys f*cking with people.
jancar2012 2 days ago
dont put it in a bank you cunt :P
onetotwelve 4 weeks ago
so after this, there was noah, and his two sons! and three wifes! Can you say inbreeding
mabbeman 1 month ago
@mabbeman I'm sure the apes we evolved from inbred too...
GuitarGage870 1 month ago
What makes him funny is he uses a child's book to prove that religion is childish. lol I gues reading the bible was not that funny or not possible for him lol.
SamsonElitsa 1 month ago
I see you are a philosopher: The ontological argument is false because it can only conclude that whatever the meaning of "positive" is needs to be exemplified in reality. It does not prove God exists, only true statements must be derived from substantial things. What are your thoughts about that?
bvssvni 1 month ago
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I find it amusing that people believe that aliens exist, one day star trek & star wars could happen & that it is possible to create a jurassic park! But a written religious history proven by archeology has to be laughed at because it sounds impossible to do in their little minds. That is why they believe aliens built or gave us knowledge of all ancient accomplishments. For some reason that seems more realistic. lol. God to be gay is even more ridiculous! What kind of sick fantasy is that! lmfo!
SamsonElitsa 3 weeks ago 2
@SamsonElitsa in his first stand up show ANIMALS he reads from the actual bible "lol"
SuperJaybag 1 month ago
@SamsonElitsa Want to tell us what this child's book got wrong quickly? Because it sounds like the same thing. Watered down sure, but inherently the same.
Mattbellmay 1 month ago in playlist Favorite videos
@SamsonElitsa He does another one where he rips on the bible. The actual adult version.
hakkujin 1 month ago
@SamsonElitsa He reads the creation story from the bible, it's on youtube if you want to watch it.
harpdevil 1 month ago
@harpdevil I understand it is easy to make fun of the bible children's version and the one made for peasants 2,300 years ago. I hope you are not comparing your thought of today to then or a child's book lol!
SamsonElitsa 3 weeks ago 2
if there was a god, i hope he would have the humor to play gay (if he is not, and that has to be proofed) at the end of days for sellfrightous christians ^ ^
Passes 1 month ago
Ricky Gervais could read any bible story to me. He is brillant with humour!
sunstar7watcher 1 month ago
Hilarious!
VagueIllusion 1 month ago
Taken for what it is - humour - this is quite well done
IanKWatts 1 month ago
This a pretty pathetic video. Using a children's book to make fun of? That's sad.
LxE100 1 month ago
@LxE100 And they are teaching this whimsical bullshit to the youth of today........
dermycock222 1 month ago 19
@dermycock222 Yes, many people are teaching junk like this - that the Bible doesn't really say - in church. It is sad.
mandminjapan 1 month ago
@dermycock222 I don't know the author, or what his/her moral standards are, but this children's book teaches the general idea in extremely broad terms. Hence the words "chirldren's book."
LxE100 1 month ago
Watch Ancient Aliens. This may make much more sense.
Willisman1 1 month ago
Ahhh... critical thinking. A rapidly-disappearing skill. Would that it were not so.
MoriyaMug 1 month ago
To all you christian apologists, go watch Zeitgeist and STFU!
edmundos99 1 month ago
hahah i cracked up so hard when he said their wa sgoing to be a sequel lol
Bainer55 1 month ago
"We could fly." "Naaaaaah." CRACKS me up!
DivineMeagan 1 month ago 2
Which animal did he sacrifice if there are only two of each species?
twilitargorok 1 month ago 33
@twilitargorok Have you read the Bible? There were more than 2 of some kinds.
mandminjapan 1 month ago
@mandminjapan
Which contradicts another passage. Sorry it's a myth story based on an earlier myth.
toomanyaccounts 1 month ago
@toomanyaccounts No it doesn't. Sorry, that is your own faulty opinion. Why is this "myth" found on every continent of the world? Something really happened - the Bible gives the only true account because it is God-inspired - God breathed text. You may disagree, but you cannot prove me wrong.
mandminjapan 1 month ago
@mandminjapan Couldn't it have been found because when it was created man spread it themselves? Also, even if God can't be definitively proven to be false, he cannot be proven true either. The Bible is just a book. Read it, get your own opinion on the story and move onto the next read.
Grifelid 1 month ago
@Grifelid God has definitely proven himself real to me... and not just his existence but his faithfulness as well. The Bible is not just any book. More than 300 detailed & fulfilled prophecies about Jesus alone. It is truly a book like no other. No mere human/humans could have written this.
mandminjapan 1 month ago
@mandminjapan I agree.
LxE100 1 month ago
@twilitargorok Noah took 7 of clean species and 2 of the unclean... if the story wasn't total bullshit that is to say.
Kylefadness 1 month ago
@twilitargorok obviously the unicorn.
ItsCuzImDED 1 month ago
@ItsCuzImDED Aww, no arguments for the Phoenix or Dragon? LOL
twilitargorok 1 month ago
@twilitargorok The DoDo Bird
Crazyalpacka 1 month ago
@twilitargorok He ripped the horn off of the male unicorn and used it to stab the female unicorn.
hakkujin 1 month ago
@hakkujin There is no unicorn in the original Bible. Only in the KJV, and that is a misinterpretation and is referring to oxen or a rhinoceros. Nice try
GuitarGage870 1 month ago
@hakkujin And thus we have no Unicorns. Damn you Noah! Why didn't you take the Thylacine? It was going to become extinct anyway!
twilitargorok 1 month ago
@twilitargorok There was seven of the "clean animals" remember? Ha ha! Read the Bible before you knock on it.
GuitarGage870 1 month ago
I was being sarcastic. I am aware of that passage. Just poking a joke at this book which now contradicts the bible. Also, the bible doesn't specifically state these animals survived the voyage. Some could have died. And the seven pairs were all likely "clean for rituals" according to the earliest interpretations. Meaning they were going to be killed eventually so they may have no part in reproduction purposes. And it doesn't state the gender of these specifically either.
twilitargorok 1 month ago
@twilitargorok
unicorns
LaoDiceanable 3 weeks ago
I am atheist but I think it's quiet stupid to interpret this storys literally word for word. All this is just a metaphore.
texbls 1 month ago
@texbls You are an idiot. Of course he is interpreting it word for word, for extra comical effect.
joeparsons4444 1 month ago 2
@joeparsons4444 yeah but if you watch some interview with him, when he is serious he also think about this like that -analysing it word for word.
texbls 1 month ago
@texbls Btw: Why do you say it's a metaphor?
CirkusBolgen 1 month ago
@CirkusBolgen becuase i think it is, i mean 'noah's ark' as all the other storys in the Bible
texbls 1 month ago
@texbls a metaphor for what? If it's just 'be a good person' that could've been easier.. :p
Jadiewady 1 month ago
@Jadiewady there are a thousends of books on that or you can just go to church.
texbls 1 month ago
@texbls Why did you say that you are an "atheist BUT I think it's...?" All atheists know that these stories are just that, stories. Nowhere in the Bible does it suggest that these stories are to be taken as metaphor though. Therefore, Christians everywhere believe that these events *actually* occurred. That's why Ricky interpreted this story "literally word for word."
marcelomdef 4 weeks ago
So... Were there also two humans on the ship? And if so, what if Noah was gay? What about all the different human races?
Jadiewady 1 month ago
This has been flagged as spam show
THE STRENGTH OF YOUR BELIEFS MUST BE REALLY WEAK OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE FLAGGED MY COMMENT AS "SPAM". I FLAGGED COMMENTS AS 'SPAM' TO THOSE WHO TAKE UP HALF OF THE PAGE REPEATING FEW WORDS SAYING NOTHING AT ALL!! BUT WHY SHOULD YOU SPAM A COMMENT THAT SAID, "GOD IS NOT HUMAN"?! MORE PEOPLE READ "FLAG FOR SPAM" THAN NOT, AFTER ALL, THE WORD "SHOW" NEXT TO "THIS COMMENT HAS RECEIVED TOO MANY NEGATIVE VOTES" CREATES SUCH CURIOSITY!!
2ListenAndSing 1 month ago
@2ListenAndSing I flag people who speak in all caps. (:
KanjiYakushi11 1 month ago
@KanjiYakushi11 I find it easier to read comments in caps. Different strokes for different folks!
2ListenAndSing 1 month ago
Comment removed
2ListenAndSing 1 month ago
amazing. brilliant. Ricky Gervais is a legend.
DinoRidingGangster 1 month ago
And millions of people actually believe in the bilblical flood still. Embarrassing.
bary1234 1 month ago 16
@bary1234 ahem.....billions
blindedby2monkeys 1 month ago
@blindedby2monkeys : I grant you one billion. I seriously doubt there could be more.I so hope there are no more than that...
bary1234 1 month ago
They had to build up a story to prove that every single species on earth is inbred. Unfortunately, they didn't realise that if they could make up stories someone would debunk it.
RajanJS 1 month ago
FUCK OFF, WICKED!! XDXDXD
evilpub 1 month ago 2
I CAN'T FORGET IT I'M A FUCKING ELEPHANT !!!! hahahaha
LeandraMarz 1 month ago
the dislike bar is like a ninja you cant see it but you know its there
Citr0nen 1 month ago in playlist Liked videos
Holla!!!
thestumblingbl0ck 1 month ago
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! ★★★★★
Katalyzt 1 month ago
What about certain plants and single cell organisms? They produce asexually ... did they need to take one or two of them????? Space comes at a premium on a boat
aneil84 2 months ago
I believed in this till i was....EIGHT. XD
Cusack187 2 months ago
Thats so funny how he just takes the piss out of god
BRIZZLEx 2 months ago
Ha so fuckin funny!
EcHoquickscopez 2 months ago
speaking of opening your mind. check out reasons to believe at reasons.org
jasongaudy 2 months ago
Comment removed
jasongaudy 2 months ago
See? If some Christians opened their minds little even they would realise how pathetically stupid and ridiculous these stories are...
BlackPanteraSociety 2 months ago 2
This has been flagged as spam show
GOD IS NEITHER A MAN NOR A WOMAN. GOD IS NOT HUMAN. PEOPLE LIKE RICKY GERVAIS NEVER SEES THE LIGHT..THANK GOD!!
2ListenAndSing 2 months ago
@2ListenAndSing What would God have against some good humor? Gervais is a good hearted man. "Will never see the light".. Dear oh dear..
Jadiewady 1 month ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@Jadiewady THE LORD HIMSELF HAS AN EXCELLENT SENSE OF HUMOUR. UNFORTUNATELY, MAJORITY OF THE POPULATION GAINS KNOWLEDGE OF THE LORD'S GREAT SENSE OF HUMOUR WHEN IT'S TOO LATE.
2ListenAndSing 1 month ago
Comment removed
Jadiewady 1 month ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@2ListenAndSing You know I always thought that 'if' there was a God, and there were 'believers and unbelieveres' that the unbelievers would TALK LIKE THIS and the believers who I quote 'have seen the light' would be calm and wise and elightened. THE WAY YOU TALK DOES NOT SOUND VERY CONVINCING BECAUSE IT IS IN BIG LETTERS. Don't get so upset, if you think you are doing the right thing and we're not, then just feel love and compassion instead of this.
Jadiewady 1 month ago
@2ListenAndSing Ehh well I just wanted to annoy you wasn't really flagging.
KanjiYakushi11 1 month ago
@KanjiYakushi11 Cute!!!!
2ListenAndSing 1 month ago
Comment removed
2ListenAndSing 2 months ago
@fezspencer Sad for who??
SuperFrogguts 2 months ago
@bangingtrance1992 whats the point in saying that ?? grow up you stupid bastard
bensimps123 2 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Misguided atheism. Sad.
fezspencer 2 months ago
@fezspencer As opposed to... misguided Christianity?
maddogUK69 2 months ago 18
@fezspencer please elaborate...
alwalk21 2 months ago
Brilliant. BRILLIANT.
ucoe1 2 months ago
I don't have problems with religious people or atheists. Also, I am no religious scholar but I don't think the bible is supposed to be taken literally. It was after all written by men. Not a god.
Yohe1991 2 months ago
cracks me up!
judithkent111 2 months ago
Fuck off wicked!
xCOPELANDxSXE 2 months ago in playlist Favorite videos
watched it like 15 times and it's still hilarious! he's so brilliant and funny!
TheVioletbike 2 months ago
He's damn brilliant
ehcavreug 2 months ago
I love you?
funkyfranx 2 months ago
this is fuckin hilarious!
devilzangel111451 2 months ago
Who gave him that big ass pole.
SolidSnake032486 2 months ago
@HllywdHorror The answer is obvious: a unicorn!
me45h 2 months ago
If you lived in New Orleans and knew nothing about anything else but the city, then when Katrina hit you'd come up with a story like this too in order to explain why you no longer have a home and a bunch of people you knew are now dead.
MindofScience3 2 months ago
Fucking Brilliant!!
MissWindy65 2 months ago
Damn it Ricky, I am on a bus and everyone thinks I'm mentally challenged. Can't stop laughing.
stivante 2 months ago 3
Brilliant!
pingOid 2 months ago
Im on a fucken mountain!!!
TheNoBrainers6 2 months ago
Where was this performed?
Maza650 2 months ago
@Maza650 Chicago
HingwayFilms 2 months ago
This 15-minute piece explains most of the stories in the bible - they're full of crap.
nathegera 2 months ago 2
20 ppl believe that man can walk on water.
pufifa 2 months ago
How does this have less than 100,000 views? It's a goddamn riot!
DarkoBeej 2 months ago
i dont belong in any religion but i think its wrong to make a humor out of someone's religion or beliefs.. try that to the muslims and you'd get your ass kicked.
Domz0120 2 months ago
@Domz0120 Religion is a giant mockery. It deserves to be ridiculed, if for no other reason, for threatening millions of people. Their holy books summon death upon non-believers. I make fun of religion daily. Muslims won't kick my ass. They're just as fucking stupid as Christians. If you believe this bullshit, you have no place in civilized society. By tolerating a Muslim's insane faith for fear of "getting my ass kicked," I'm giving them all of the credibility in the world to continue.
teh1337hackz0rz 2 months ago
@teh1337hackz0rz im an atheist myself, long ago i was a Christian but discovered that religion like you said caused the world a lot of problems, and also i realized that stories like that of noah seems pretty illogical to be real, ive meet a lot of Christian folks and muslims and they are good people who deserve no such mockery.
Domz0120 2 months ago
@teh1337hackz0rz
Be careful though when making fun of them. Riots happened and a few people died because a cartoonist drew the character of Muhammad. A cartoon FFS. And they say atheists like to run around killing people.
Yea, they all claim to be peaceful, but we know it's BS.
Don't make fun, just challenge everything in their holy books with logic. They'll either start to question their faith or threaten you with 'eternal damnation'. Usually the latter.
kerayzey 2 months ago
@Domz0120 agree
Rugaryriv 2 months ago
@Rugaryriv thanks, i appreciate it
Domz0120 1 month ago
brillant. ricky's humour is the best weapon against religious bullshit
ZeusZahouani 2 months ago 75
@ZeusZahouani lol he's good at pointing out how stupid the bible is. even though i'm catholic i know not to take the bible literally. unfortunately, a lot of asshole "christians" do.
wavebaby92 2 months ago 3
@wavebaby92 finally someone like me....
TheIvanBrown 2 months ago
@wavebaby92 so the flood only drowned like a couple of people?
blindedby2monkeys 1 month ago
@blindedby2monkeys i'm sorry, i tried to understand what you're saying but i just don't get it.
wavebaby92 1 month ago
@ZeusZahouani Ricky doesn't do this to attack religion...I hate people who misinterpret this. Also, he is mocking a story that is only meant to be a metaphor. I am independent but I know that these stories are just to teach a lesson, not to tell history. Ricky made some jokes about the Bible, he didn't use comedy as a "weapon" so stfu.
LuneyTune72 2 months ago
@LuneyTune72 So, you saying Christians believe the Bible is full of metaphors and not the allmighty word of God?
Baktor 2 months ago