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From: cubefarm
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  • i bet someone allready suggested this but : get a bowel-cleansing pill , mill it down, sprinkle the sandwitch's insides ( or whatever food) , bring it to the work fridge, wait, and then enjoy the sweet revenge.

  • I know who the first suspect of lunch looters should be...the dieters. Oh yes! They bring in their carrot sticks, cottage cheese and rice cakes wanting everyone to see they have changed their constant calorie consuming ways. Meanwhile, as you place your 10 inch high square of lasagna and a loaf of butter soaked garlic bread in the fridge for your lunch, they are clearing out an area in the supply closet so they can scarf it down before you notice it is missing!

  • And it's funny how my cilantro becomes "the" cilantro...

  • My dream has me sleeping under my desk but everything else in your dream matches mine.

  • it's probably roomier under there :)

  • It wasn't bad actually. Everyone went for the new prefab desks but me. I kept my old WWII aluminum one. When it flooded later I was the only one dry. Yep, there was a lot of room under it but even more on top. Yay to old metal furniture!

  • Im so putting "Thout Shall not Loot Someone Elses Lunch" On the fridge at my job-

  • If there's some thing that fills me with epic rage, it's people stealing my food! There were so many moronic, selfish, empty-minded people where I worked that I'd simply bring my own food from home and keep it locked up nice and safe in my locker. Sucked that I couldn't bring any nice cold food, but didn't have to worry about food thieves anymore! Fuck people that steal other's lunches!

  • I love the "Cube Godess" touch, but a pie-in-the-face ending would've been just as nice.

  • let me put my shrink hat on LOL!

  • There was some pudding that was in the fridge at work that was there for like 4 months. No one wanted to touch it. No one knew how it got there. Also, one of my bosses always brought a sandwich and forgot to eat it. Those two together for a couple days made NO ONE want to go NEAR the fridge. It smelled so bad that no one would even sneak a piece of that cheesecake that was in there. xD

  • @ButterflyIllusioned pudding goes bad i thought it was sealed in packaging if homemade the person would know its their pudding

  • There was a string of lunch-looting a few years ago in my building. It came to an end when someone stole someone's lunch bag that had their diabetic medicine in it, and they couldn't take their medicine when they needed it! Don't know who the thief was, but I'm guessing they're not around anymore.

  • Very Funny!

  • Well, I was guilty of it once...

    I worked the night shift, it was midnight, and I was hungry..

    Well, I did take someone's sandwich (from the previous day shift), but I did leave Five dollars under the sandwich bag I took it from-

    Did that make it any less wrong...?

  • that kinda makes you the Sandwich Fairy. Plus, at midnight???I approve ;)

  • the cubicle goddess aproves!

  • The "Sandwich fairy" hahahahaha!!!

    Oh my god I had totally forgotten about your videos, and I really don't know WHY!!!

    !Nat!

  • Thou Shalt Not loot other peoples lunch... WELL IT SHOULD BE!...ROTFL

  • CEO's will never take someones Roman Noodles,, takes to long to boil water in a microwave for them ( or they don't know how to use one ) Free Sandwich,, you bet, they are on it, Heehee. A few extra ingredients and they will NEVER trouble a Fridge Again :-) Oh Yes I Have,,,,,,LOLOLOLOLOL

  • Interesting correlation there... no one ever does steal the raman noodles. This just begs for further study.

  • Thieves make me angry. Lunch thieves make me angry, and hungry. *grr*

  • Kim, you definitely ARE the cube goddess.

  • well, next time someone steals my lunch, ill just call in to the farm to eat your cubes instead.

  • I wonder how plausible would it be to invent refrigerated, coin-operated, storage lockers like the coin-operated storage lockers you might find at an airport, train station, water park, malls, etc. where you insert something like 2 quarters then take the key with the small cylinder shaped head that is usually orange, then inserting it back in to retrieve the contents of the locker. Darn! I got to patient this. Andrew Schnick Copyright 2008. Now it's copyrighted, ha ha!

  • fabulous idea:)

  • I think you could simplify this idea by getting a box that locks for your own lunch in the fridge.

  • your madder than a box of frogs

  • We had the oppposite problem. There was a guy who a bit obsessive compulsive and it was his job to throw everything out. He was the one who dumped the trash. BUT he went into the fridge (don't know if his hands were clean) and threw out paper bags with that day's date on it. Sheesh. I began to keep frozen water and keep my lunch near that to keep it cold in my bag... zipped... under my desk.

  • Hey, he works with us now! He's also a bit of a KIA. We're so lucky!

  • joeocho, freeze some peepee and add sugar. Some dumb behind actually ate it at my mom's old job. They never told her. I wonder what the fun in that was. TELL THEM but only leave an anonymous note. "BTW, you ate some crap."

  • That's funny. Chop some peppers into your lunch or put a couple of tablespoons of wasabi in there and if you see someones eyes turning read and spitting up you'll know who the culprit is.

  • Haha. At 1st glance I thought the title was 'Lunch Hooters'!

  • you look like catherize zeta jones

  • she also looks like catherine zeta jones

  • haha didnt even realise that typo until i re read it

  • she looks indian or pakistanian.

  • She's cute when she's mad!

  • I like the 'accent' and all the righteous indignation!

  • shes hot

  • i like the way she talks (phat)

  • LOL@ now shes gottah choose whos lunch shes gonna choose and steal and the options arent looking good cause the options are only low fat cottage cheese and SPINACH ! ~classic~..

    I had this problem before and didnt know who it was, so, I made some DELICOUS EXXLAX BROWNIES  ... I FOUND OUT, and she was right, it was the Help Desk Manager.... THAT BITCH!

  • Haha. It sounded like she said "Cute News". This worked: Make a very desirable sandwich. Hide a nice, fresh, bite-size habanero pepper in it. Put it in a sandwich bag. Put it in the fridge with the current date on it.

  • leftover Chinese food heavily spiked with wasabi sauce does the trick

  • ah hahahahaha. even better the second time around.

  • ah hahahahaha. even better the second time around.

  • The use of death threat notes are usually effective deterants for the average looter, however, if you need to protect your yummies from the more brazen of thieving bumsters; just put 'em in a container where the contents are unrecognizable and slap one of them "content/date" labels on it with the indication that it's last week's Ramon Noodle remains. Either that or wrap it in plastic and then cover it with spinach leaves, or encase it in some tofu...

  • I was *just* going to send you my first email ever about this very topic! We just had sodas stolen from our fridge. They were purchased with personal funds for a training! Then one of the participants tells me about the time a co-worker's sandwich had the meat - JUST THE MEAT - taken out of it. That's all! I just don't understand. I now write my name on everything, just like I do for my three-year-old as she goes off to preschool in the morning.

  • Lunch Looters SUCK, been a victim of this many times!!! It got so bad at my work that the management actually installed a camara to watch the Fridge to see who the hell was doing it!!!

  • I just discovered you, and you're awesome!

    Fave moment: "Well, it SHUD be!"

    Keep it up!

  • On my lunch, I usually leave a note that reads "DO NOT TOUCH UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH!!!" For some strange reason, it works.

  • You're Hot!!!!!!

  • she is so hot

  • Hope that wasn't your cake with Happy B-..

  • ahaha everytime i went to work with my mom i would steal peoples slim fasts.

  • LOL!!! I totally relate to the Lunch Thieves! Several times I've had HALF of every lunch item I brought Eaten. A courteous thief - EWW!! Who could eat the remaining half!! Yuk!! Us basement IT Geeks now have our own tiny fridge inside our secure area behind electronic locs! Now we only lose food to decomposition!! Great job on the Video!

  • Haha! Funny. Clever. Your facial expressions remind me of Christine in 'Happy Slip' and I LOVE the Okie (??) accent.

  • A lot of Dave's Insanity Sauce between the ham and cheese will bring the thieving scumbag out into the open.

  • you would get more views if you didn't edit your comments!

  • Spread the word in an around the office, ( i did this once,, worked like a dream come true ) about a wonderful chicken salad sandwich, and simply leave one behind. It will be gone the next day, with the little extra love that you added :-) The thefts will stop immediately !! Law Suit NOPE,,, he or she was the thief, HaHa....

  • I hate those people! We call 'em "refrigerator bandits". I'm thinking of putting up a hidden video camera somewhere pointed at the fridge to finally figure out who the refigerator bandits are and when I do, watch out!

  • I'm laughing at how familiar this sounds, I guess offices are the same everywhere! What about the other problem of people's lunches decomposing and no one claiming ownership? Seen some pretty amazing biology come out of our fridge :)

  • Wow, Kim - not to discount your acting and writing abilities (they're great), but that Cubegirl costume has some intereresting affects on your boobage. Cool!

  • She's so pretty~

    I had a coworker who stole from the refrigerator often. She was caught stealing Cola and a few dinners, and from then on she was a marked woman. Apparently the problem ran deeper... She was fired about a month ago, and just this week she was arrested for illegally obtaining perscription meds. Saw her mug shot on the Sheriff's website.

  • Kim,

    I used to work at a residental facility, and on days when it would be more benificial to actually sleep in an empty bed then to drive home..... i miss that job :)

  • I actually DID sleep in my office!!! I was opening a new specialty hospital, getting a divorce, and my new place was going to be a month of work...Solution: the plush office-generic carpet and the leeward side of my pre-fab double-sided desk. I smelled like an office showroom!!! (hospitals have locker rooms with showers before you wrinkle your nose!) Great ep. Kim!!

  • Well Kim... I can relate that my workplace feels like home too but then in a positive way... I have a great boss, internet, I get to draw cartoons and get payed to do it aaaaaand on fridays we all get a beer or a glass o' wine. Ehh... *ahem* ...This isn't cheering you up, is it...

  • I need to work at your office :)

  • ...Of course it would require you to move to Holland buuuuut i'm sure that's not a problem. ;)

    (i'm a cartoonist! Huzzah! ...what exactly do you do? I never quite figured it out :D)

  • I write I spit on this when I leave leftovers in the fridge.

  • Well, what ya gotta do is go into the bathroom, and come out with a bottle of *ahem* apple juice. Then leave it in the fridge...

  • 35 hour work weeks in Western Europe...

  • I like to put unspeakable bodily fluids in trap lunches..

  • i get offered lunch all the time it gets me sick

  • That probably explains why my banana cream pie disappeared from the fridge at work.

  • 1. Yes, us IT people sometimes have a pillow in the file cabinet for those late night patches and upgrades.

    2. Our fridge is the opposite. Some people don't eat teir lunches, ever. Lunches get very ripe months after the employee is gone. We had to post a sign. Fri 4:30 everything in the trash, EVERYTHING ! Whew !

  • Lawl, this is great. Good work Kim! :D

  • Who stole my yogurt?

  • Love the thunder sound at the end!  Cube Goddess has struck again!

  • I would like to set up a cubicle for Kim in my place and Kim can work for me.

  • Sleeping at the desk is great, you get more sleep and save gas too! But bathing in the sink gets old really quick.

    Always good purty red stapler!

  • yay, I love you

  • KIM YOU ARE AWESOME!

  • Kim,

    You are the cubicle goddess! I love you but that crazy-eye stare scares the hell out of me.

  • My problem with eating someone else's food is that you never know who coughed on it or didn't wash their hands before making it... GROSS! To find out who looted your lunch, make a dummy lunch with castor oil. Whoever spends the afternoon in the bathroom is it!

  • This sounds like a mission for cube girl! Well really I just love to see you in your costume.

  • This is very funny!

  • God cursed me with some wierd food alergies. God also blessed me with some wierd immunites. I spice my food with some things that are good for me and really (REALLY) bad for food thieves.

    No one steals from me anymore.

    *evil grin*

  • always hilarious!

  • LOL...When I was young and not managing people in a large office this would not be as serious. However I still remember the days I would write other peoples names on lunches for fun. It does not seem to makes sense as all involved would realize that it was not their lunch but it added distrust amongst the cube dwellers when done to the right distrusting people. In a short period of time you had all sorts of accusations being bandied about the office with little or no truth to their origins. FUN!

  • I eat food if it's not labeled and looks like it's dropped below everyone else's standards but mine... I work a lot and never get a chance to get out for food, so sometimes I steal, for the sake of revenge, since everyone gets to go home except me... : (

  • I always steal it, especially taking big bite on the sandwich. haha,. sameone always cry over it especially my boss secreatry and I am loving it..... no one ever cout me its now a year

  • Yeah Kim!

    You're so right! I think lunch looters should be tied up with typewriter ribbons and flogged with the cord from the fax machine! LOL :D

    Or was that just a dream? :]

  • You are the Cubicle Goddess. So it is said, so let it be written.

  • haha wow, I so feel ya...All I have to say is EXACTLY. Thanks for the laughs, I needed them after a long day in my cubicle today!

  • And lo, the Rich President Bastards did steal another's lunch, and the Cubicle Goddess did smite them.

    And there was much rejoicing.

  • I needed this today! My co-worker brought his 9 year old son in today and the little germ spreader raided our kitchen- we have community cookies and M&M's in plastic containers (so you have to pour them out)- the kid took some cookies then LICKED his entire hand from palm to finger tips them BAM right into the M&M container, his paw fit right inside. He also kept screaming and peeking at us from behind the filing cabinets... it was like the movie Chuckie... ugh keep your kids at home.

  • Honey, that dream has got to go. Just because it would be easier to bring in a cot, doesn't mean it's right! (We got told today that they need volunteers for 10 hours of overtime a week for the indefinite future!! holy kwap)

    and I consider myself lucky that my half sandwich was intact and waiting for me today!!

    Great job, cubegoddess!

  • u can always leave something poisonous and watch who gets sick =D

  • I dont like to leave food out for people to tamper with it.

  • So true. It happened to me. Somebody stole my Weight Watchers frozen dinner that was in a yellow Dollar General bag. Bums.

  • The stuff in the fridge growning blue fur and being SOMEONE ELSE'S JOB to clean up should be Kim's next tirade.

    Meanwhile, spiking the Tandoori chicken with scotch bonnet pepper juice and cascara...

  • My fiance had to stop bringing refrigerated flavored creamer, and switch to the much inferior powdered stuff, due to others helping themselves to her creamer from the departmental fridge. (Even when she put her name on the carton!) Stealing from fellow workers is the lowest of the low, IMHO.

  • I used to be constantly a victim of food looters. One bit of revenge I had was to take Thai hot sauce, which looks like marinara, and out it under the cheese of my pizza. I like my food extremely spicy, but if anyone else stole it, they would get a mouthful of fire. I had a friend who was so frustrated he put laxatives in his food to catch the person who was stealing it.

  • Kim, you made feel guilty. Just as I begun to watch your video, I was thinking that I should be working on my project. I have trouble leaving it at work too.

    Keep up the good work. Yes you are a goddess!!

    e

  • lol

  • You are right that it is the low life corporate management types that steal from the peons they look down on. It is almost never a coworker that steals, they would get their asses kicked. The solution is - each time your lunch disappears, you should walk past the vice president's Porsche and scratch the paint with your key.

  • I like your vids...long time suscriber..but you are better (and much cuter) when you aren't so angry! LOL

  • I thought you were the cubicle goddess. ya certainly look like one to me. love all the vids.they always make me laugh and even a few make me say, "Hmmmmm!!!" keep up the great work

  • So glad you're back with more cube news! I really enjoy your channel. I had to watch the dream part 3 times to understand what was going on.

    When I was an intern, there were a few Pepsis in the community refridgerator and I thought, "Maybe they are here for everyone to have since there are so many!" BUT I second guessed myself and left them alone. After watching this video, I see it was a good choice! I could have been smacked by the employees who were actually getting paid!!

  • ding! hey yo~ put some cheese cube on the cube

  • yayy a lot os funny sarcasm on this video :D next time ill put a mouse trap on the fridge if someone tries to steal my yogurt!, the still picture at the begining is funny

  • Wonderful commentary on human nature--keep up the great work, Kim!!!

  • but you are the cub-godess!

  • Excellent video yet again Kim!! =)

  • Great Video,as for people stealing food at work,maybe a lil turbo lax mixed in it would teach them a lesson

  • Don't worry about that recurring bad dream... nothing a little Mescal & dancin' on the table won't cure.

    Glad to see you back!

  • You're forgetting "Alice In Wonderland." If something has a note on it that reads "Eat me" - DON'T!

    HI-larious as always, Kim! Sorry you couldn't make it to the San Francisco "As One" gathering. We may have gotten soaked with rain but we still had a BLAST!

    And I'm REALLY looking forward to the next episode of "CubeGirl"!

  • Darlin' you ARE the cubicle Goddess!! You command and I'll chisel the tablets! All we need then are a couple of archangels to enforce the laws.

    Hey... how 'bout a "fridge-cam" or a "fridge-monkey" (like the trunk-monkey! ya know?). It would only take one VP getting shin-cracked for word to get around that there is indeed NO free lunch.

  • Room mate in college had that prob at the fraterninty house....He made 50% chocolate Exlax fudge...put it in the fridge...marked "for student govt meeting." Nobody sat by a Sigma Chi for two days and you wouldn't believe the spots on the jeans!

  • That why it great to put traps...Like mac and cheese with load of baking soda or choco cake with few packages of exlax. See the one who keeps running to the bathroom or squeeing their legs togather to hold the farts in..Yeap  there bandit who took the bait

  • And let's not forget the long lost forgotten lunches that sit in the 'fridge, day after day undergoing a strange transformation and proving that life truly does evolve...

  • Lurvin it :D

  • I have been a victim of lunch time looters. One guy that got busted doing it was suspended. When the manager ask him to come back in to explain the idiot have given himself a mohauk haircut & thought he was taxi driver so he was fired immediately.

  • Free Lunch!! mmm mmm good.

  • LMAO!!!

    man, I have this guy at work who is always taking from other peoples lunches! Damn bastard took my yogurt one day!

  • I have had dreams, too, but you were in them so it wasn't so bad. Your anger is hot.

  • The title alone got me laughing even before the video loaded! I HATE lunch looters! I eat oatmeal and hard boiled egg whites when I get to work, so on Mondays I bring a dozen hard boiled eggs to last me the week and some jerkwad was eating them! Actually wasn't a co-worker, but a cleaning crew dude. I fixed his wagon when I started bringing in RAW eggs. I imagine he smacked them on the counter expecting them to be hard boiled, had to clean that mess a few times and FINALLY got the message!

  • brilliant Michelle!

  • 01:59, that is quite scary :)

  • WOW another GREAT VIDEO to add to your LONG line of GREAT VIDEOS

    Keep up the GREAT work

  • laugh myself silly.

    Sounds like you need to make a few exlax brownies. Then watch who runs ;-)

    Keep up the postings....

    Maybe one on project managers being hearing impared. Something like where I say it will take me 2 weeks, and then my boss turns around and tells the client 3 days.

  • To my defense - I was broke and that Boca Burger had freezer burn on it - and the last time I checked Jack Frost got laid off 2 years ago.

  • Thanks Cube Girl!  keep em coming!

  • love this channel

    Eddie

  • thank you Eddie:)

  • aaaahhhh lololol

    the snot sucker in the cube next to me

    is a lunch looter too gurl

  • Ooooooooooh you have a snot sucker next to you? That's the worst! I always offer snot suckers a tissue as in hint hint, STOP THAT!

  • I sent her a very blunt anonymous email

    but she still does it, Lawd gurl that aint

    the worst part neither, the worst part is

    she GULPS it down after snorting.

  • Eeeeeeeeeeeew MsO, dang it - I shoulda notta oughta have read this comment just moments before taking off to the lunch room!

  • you aint neva lied gurl

    you aint neva lied

    lol

  • Did you say there were ramen noodles around here someplace?

  • oops...what about the ones who leave stuff in the fridge indefinitely?? lol

  • i can't believe I left out the crew who leave stuff til it's green and fuzzy...leave it long enough, maybe it will sprout legs and walk out...

  • ahh...for another episode! there is sooo much kitchen ettiquette to review! keep up the great work!

  • Warning, THAT IS NOT A CHIA PET IN THE REFRIGERATOR!!!! It used to be Meatloaf of unknown age and origin.

    Seriously, I had to clean out an office fridge once and I found some thanksgiving turkey... in August. (eeeew!

  • If you're overworked and under valued you must be the first person in history to have such an experience! LOL

    GREAT VIDEO!!!!!!!

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