Added: 7 months ago
From: TheEscapistMagazine
Views: 70,729
Sort by time | Sort by thread (beta)

Link to this comment:

Share to:

All Comments (155)

Sign In or Sign Up now to post a comment!
  • Fable 2 was the biggest pile of shit so far, at least this one had the final boss where if you didn't kill him in the middle of his rant, one of the fun loving retarded followers of yours did.

    Not that a final boss in fable even means anything, 20 minutes in and you already have max resurrection phials.

  • because it wooks pwetty *huge eyes* ROFL

  • reminds me of gurran lagan

  • I like these things.

  • Yaaaaaay someone made a "to let toilet" joke

  • What is the beginning song?

  • @XxBFMVFTWxx98 It's original. Created for Zero punctuation so just search ZP theme song.

  • It woooks pweety!

  • "gold star peter!" love how he says that XD

  • Love the way he says 'reetarrd' LAWL

  • 3:32

    Well, they do kinda explain why they never explain it to the people... They say "There's no way they could have any idea how horrible those things are." But christ, don't think I'm defending that horrendous game!

  • its not xbox exclusive they made a pc port

  • @maryetab same thing

  • 1st Fable was pretty good.

    2nd Fable was alright

    3rd Fable was less than mediocre.

  • Villager 1: Man, our king is such a damned prick. Villager 2: Yeah, how dare he save us, the sinister bastard. Peter Molyneux: CONNNNEECTING I TELL YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU

  • Comment removed

  • 1:20

    I don't have audio...but still can tell they said something funny as hell about you not being able to be any race but white.

  • I made everyone me gustav and raised the money to tell the slime to fuck off too. :3

  • I never much liked Fable the first game, and now I am playing the Lost Chapters. Fable: Lost Chapters should have been the first and only Fable game. It's pretty much the XBox version of The Legend of Zelda, just with more annoying NPCs and bitchy Hero NPCs nagging you despite the fact when they fight me I just spam Lightning and Soul Suck Horror (blue version).

  • @fodxp lol mini yahtzee ftw :))

  • @M0pMaN38 LOL, in MY dreams. The attack is called Divine fury I think, but yeah, the best way to beat the enemies is to spam the area attacks. In regular Fable it was Enflame, but I got my combat multiplier to over 200 using a special crossbow, multishot, and slow time. Now with Fable: LC I just use Physical Shield and spam the good version of Soul Suck Horror and everything dies. I also noticed decapitating enemies is insanely easier in Fable: Lost Chapters. Especially with the bows.

  • @fodxp yeah i found that too :P all i used to do was go around as a 8 foot giant with fuck off horns and consistant fly repellent with some fuck off sword (cutlass bluetane ftw) and skorms bow. Hehehe no more oakvale :L

  • @M0pMaN38 Arken's Crossbow for me! I usually use the Murren Greathammer until I don't need to level up anymore, and then switch to the Murren Greataxe. I figure, I have have to have a melee weapon, I'll sacrifice speed for power since I use magic the most any way, and my magic and bow have both speed and power.

  • Robocop is a quality IP.

  • I liked Fable The Lost Chapters. They both have MUCH more content. Fable 2 was okay, but Fable 3 was total liquid shit.

  • i think that this game has the best decision in game history for you to make: turn an orphanage into a bordello

    oh... the decision making part was bullshit >.<

  • I got the good ending with zero citizens lost due to the fact that an online friend loaned me enough money to buy off property. I kept the price range at less then average and slowly payed back my friend. In the end I defeated the Darkness I was sitting on a happy throne with millions of gold. This is fine in real life if I wanted to be a banker, but in a game it didn't give me much of a challenge. :C

  • Lol I actually kinda wanna play this now

  • OOOHWOOKITSADOGGIEMASHUPHISWIT­­TLEFACEANDCALLHIMCHIPS!

  • I hate what they did with Fable.Sure it didn't hold up it's promises, but it was still pretty damn good.It felt like a classic legend with all the Demon Killing and I-Will-Kill-Your-Sister-And-La­ter-Take-Your-Fiance Goodness.Plus it acted fucking mature.Now it seems that they are mostly trying to appeal the little kiddies by making them the only fucking hero on earth and all the fart jokes they can enjoy.I guess it is funny though because the kids I've heard that played this were fucking scared.

  • @Ryan66772

    lol the first fable was "fucking mature" was it? sounds to me like you aren't old enough to be playing the games anyway mate...

  • I wanted to love Fable III, I really did. But it just had so many problems. I loved the characters and story though.

  • I freaking love Fable III, yet I still think this review is pure brilliance!

  • can zero punctuation get any better "I think not".

  • Stephen Fry? An out of work comedic voice actor? Please.

  • Why didn't he mention that you can't even die!

  • Just beat this game today, and this guy is dead on about the review. Yay you kept ure promises but sadly most if not half of the population has been killed....but hey at least u kept ure promises :D

  • Good and evil? I'd more equate it to Gahndi and Machiavelli in this.

  • that 150 day skip was probably to stop people doing that but it pissed me off two

  • lakes do wook preety

  • worst fable thus far

    

  • @MrShinywill

    BRACE YOURSELVES!

    Fable The journey is coming...

  • @MrShinywill its too quick to finish only thing u can do is speak

  • @paulxtreme what do you mean

  • @MrShinywill agreed hate it fable the lost chapters best in my mind

  • I only managed to save about half of mine and i got the good ending/notbeingapricksoigetang­elwings thing and safe to say i still shat myself when 150 days just decided not to happen...

  • Comment removed

  • 3:31-3:35 if i was a king i would pull that out every time someone got pissed.

  • Dude that happened to me too, i was going to pay it all by myself, and i was like "oh it's cool i'll do it the next time it skips days since it's been going like 30days at a time....oh wait it's day 1? and all i can do is change my outfit and jack off? well i guess it's time to die"

  • Holy shit, do not. I repeat, do not watch 4-5 zero punctuation reviews at the same time xD

  • @Ph0be Ahahahaha, thank you, that was hilarious. Rabble Rabble Rabble! It sounds like the House of Commons.

  • @Ph0be Why would you watch them at the same time?!---- IDIOT!

  • @Ph0be FUCK YEAAAAAAH! 

  • @Ph0be I'm doing it right now. Open five diffirent reviews each in a seperate tab.

  • @Ph0be Thanks.. Now I'm gunna :O

  • @Ph0be I did it, and I am now a man!

  • @Ph0be OH MY GOD, MY EARS, MY EARS

  • OH NO! I'M RUNNING OUT OF ZP TO WATCH! WHAT TO DO? TO THE ESCAPIST!

  • Got this game for christmas cuz i thit itd be good but nope. I cant even try to play more incase it gets better it jus pisses me off how bad this game is

  • In my opinion the game carried stuff over from fable 2 which were popular like the dog however didnt back up the carried over stuff with substance, a.k.a you had no reason to care for them. This affected my decision making as king because the people who wanted their trees kept safe did nothing to help ME except blow up a whole fucking town district and make it a pain to navigate plus having some rebel bitch whine about having it rebuilt! I was like, "get the midget to pay for it!"

  • I would have to agree with most of what he said, but I still found myself enjoying the game for the most part, although that could be because I payed $12.50 for it in a Steam deal and didn't feel as ripped off as all the Xbox players did in 2010

  • Why does Yahtzee call Fable 3 an XBox exclusive? I have it on my PC...

  • @Bhalspawn the pc version was released 6 months later than the xbox so maybe it wasnt released at the time of the review

  • @Bhalspawn I have it on PC too, and for a period of time it was an Xbox exclusive, I'd still kinda consider it one in the same way Alan Wake or Gears of War is a 360 exclusive even though the PC versions came or will come a out a year or so after the console counterpart, but then you get into the muddy waters of timed exclusivity and that whole area is kinda filled with BS

  • I find it funny that pretty all NPC vanish except for guards . . . shouldn't they have died first?

  • I always wondered why they say you are the last hero and three fourths the way in you meet Reaver. It's dumb

  • I agree. I also heard that in Fable: TJ they're making it so you're not 'born' a hero, but 'made' into one. Oh well, they're just rumors.

  • I hate the bloody dog!!!

  • know whats funny i dont even play games anymore but i think hes funny as hell

  • shit.. I have to be evil don't I..

  • @funkstepdescent ZP is Just Yatzhee the escapist is the former mag he works for yes the Escapist was a Mag now it isn't.

  • i just found ZP, these guys are great.

  • When I played Fable 3, I took all the good options and the entire population died...awesome.

  • @ParkPants I reckon that end bit with the king reflects Peter Molyneux's life. Peter is king and he's being evil, so we all have to live through this shittyness. If he made a good game, we would all die from shock, and awe - as characterised by the evil black blob.

  • man this is so funny i cant stop laughing..i agree at everything about this game ..lol!

  • The thing I liked is that John Cleese does a character in it.

  • Fable II gave out a lot of money when you didn't need it and this game is exactly the opposite and the house durability thing was a terrible idea and shouldn't have been implemented i mean even the elder scrolls series gave up durability to weapons and armor (admit-ably a few new problems arose to take it's place but you get the idea)

  • This is why i play big boy (console) rpgs like skyrim or fallout. Even borderlands was better and it wasnt even a fucking rpg!

  • @TheNotKyleSullivan Borderlands was classed as a RPG FPS and Elder Scrolls started on PC Fallout also started on PC the PC versions are also better then the console.

  • Did anyone else thing about the one year thing then reverse all the issues besides me n yahtzee?

  • Comment removed

  • This is where game developers get inspiration. <3

  • So if u pick the evil ending do the ppl just stand around saying "that bastard saved us" and glaring at u?

  • @ps3lover85 LOL

  • Yahtzee wasn't joking, when he made the only reaction to your deeds.

    You can either have a whole society spitting on their savior, or the two chums, who survived the dark horrors to cheer for you, because the dead cannot mock you.

  • @ps3lover85 Pretty much

  • @ps3lover85 The rich love you, the poor hate you.

  • @ps3lover85 ya, pretty much. realism.

  • This guys fucking awesome KEEP REVIEWING

  • i liked the game, but too easy and not enough variation.

    one major complaint i had was

    MAJOR SPOILERS

    the final boss fight with the all mighty elderich abomination was easier then fighting through his minions to get to him, all i did was 'summon creature potion' ghost balverines sick him, i spam my ranged weapon, bam, hes dead.

    the way in WHICH the Elderich Abomination fought me i found was even more insulting, he possessed a dude, whom when died, he did to instead of just leaving the body

  • "...and you know what? I call that an 100% positive result" lol

  • yum yum at 3:04

  • fable 3 was a big piece of shit

  • yeah... having the crown just handed to me was too easy.

  • Zero punctuation: Yahtzee. The board game.

  • I would've enjoyed the game more if I expected to become the king all of a sudden, and if the game weren't so story driven. Unlike Fable 2, I felt that in this I just had to keep doing the main questline, never having enough time to do other things. £60 special edition and for what? 2 days of gameplay, an "evil" ending which killed all of Albion and didn't play it again.

    But I'll have to give it another chance sometime ^_^

  • I just subscribed and i hope your doing a review of Skyrim :)

  • Okay....your getting a subscriber lol

  • Why am I still watching these?

  • I think he would have preferred it more if he put in no money so know one would survive.

  • Funny how we watch theese guys take down and destroy our favorite childhood memories or point out the flaws in our favouroute forms of entertainment, Yet we love it and laugh. I think its just wonderfull.

  • If Lionhead makes a Fable four; do not let Peter talk about that game; EVER.

  • This game dissappointed me...

  • @Thecapmax1 Fable 2 dissapointed me, so I never really played F3. I have a friend who seems to like grind-games, so he invited me to play. What I did was run around in some chicken-suit, chasing chickens.

    I was bored before I started, and I was bored while I played that small sequence.

  • @Twinrehz This.

    Fable should have ended at Lost Chapters. Nothing good has come of its continuation. Nothing.

  • @7CellarDoors i disagree i loved the fable series 2 was defently not as good as the first one but it was still a great game to play i enjoyed it alot and i loved the new features except for the "never dieing" bullshit that just made the game seem like there was no challenge at all, the third was just downright awful and i did NOT like it one bit but i did enjoy the second.

  • @jason4852 To be honest, by itself Fable 2 stands up well enough for me to want to finish it. Its just such a huge step back from the original Fable I cant help but put it in a comparing light, in which case its one of the worst sequels Ive ever played. Didnt have any of the charm or originality, added to the lack luster story and utter failure combat system, it felt massively dumbed down to the point I cant even look at it any more.

    I find it unworthy of its namesake.

  • @7CellarDoors agreed that it defently did not compare to fable 1. and yes the charm of the fable series has been lost fable one had an unforgetable soundtrack, (and i will admit i fell inlove with fable 2's sound track as well) story, plus combat is willdle downed like you sad to the point where a 8 year old can just mash the same button and win the game that way. i love fable one 2 just seemed like a different game and 3 i just disown that is an obination to the series

  • Yahtzee hit directly on the mark, which is a shame because I wanted Fable to be better...or at least good. Oh well, it's not like all games suck...right?

  • this guy is such a genious

  • I didnt do the evil ending either wtf happens do you get all the fancy shmancy weapons to arm your citzens with?or do they take you through some contract loop hole bull shit or all the money gos up in flames and you end up haveing to everything still?

  • Im up to ruling the country. Thankyou so much for telling me the game jumps forward, i would iof been fucked.

  • This game sucked. Fable one was godly.

  • You were so true on the XBox fanboy statement. BEFORE ANYBODY RAGE'S AT ME I OWN AN XBOX MYSELF!

  • .... this is actually one of the nicest fable reviews he's done.... and its on the worst of all the games

  • thats exactly what happened to me!!! it went from 150 days to 0, there was a big battle and then everyone died except me...then i had shit loads of money to spend on nothing.

  • haha... This was actually a quite clever review...

  • i got 100% of th NPCs killed so i cant do side quests

  • The darkness actually scared the shit out of me

  • The first one was actually really good.

  • I had Fable 3 minimized while watching this.

  • He didnt even have to point out the end boss is an easy pussy

  • That's only scratching the top of a turd. He didnt even mention the extremely boring and easy gameplay, and the fact that all spells are either hadouken with some added minor effect, or aoe centered on yourself with (sometimes) some minor effect. ANd that there is no specializing like AT ALL.

  • That was the best review of anything EVER!

  • I've only played fable 3 and used guns, so I don't know about the previous games combat systems, and the romance is pretty stupid. Especially since even if I play as female I still have the male animations...and the game was pretty stupid about morals. I started out as good, but ended as a tyrant to save albion. I wish they would fix this game, it feels like it has potential

  • I LOVE YOU. :D lol

  • The same thing happened to me. I WAS going to save up, then suddenly BAM, everyone died.

  • hahahahhahahahahahaa so fucking true!

  • Yeah if only the king hadn't slipped into a f*cking coma for five months!

    Got my reaction down. lol

  • Fable 3 wasn't a really bad game, it could've been much much much much better though.

  • Psychonauts = very favourable ZP review

  • LMAO "Gooold star Peter!"

  • Finally a good games reviewer. I feel we've all been drowning in mainstream companys spewing bullshit that are just programmed to "This game is similar call of duty. IE its good." Yahtzee actually has diversity and SPEAKS THE FUCKING TRUTH.

  • @Tehweirdkat Well, he has the advantage of easily being able to find the negative points in a game, which is a skill a lot don't have... I don't, and I personally don't usually care for reviews, but his are entertaining and probably good advice. The only time I can remember him not being harsh with a game was with Portal, I believe.

  • @DarkoHexar Yeah but he's a games critic so he's supposed to find bad points with games ;)

  • @Tehweirdkat And that's why his advice can be of great use :P

  • Actually the prince/princess is the ruler cuz there a hero, not because they're royalty. Just saying, but dude I LOVED this. You are hilarious, and I agree with everything you dislike about it. Damn Peter. To make things worse, Fable III might be for Kinect only. Oh, joy. XP

  • It wooks puwetty! <3

  • The theme is my ringtone...<3

  • @FearlessSpinner LOL Great idea!

  • @FearlessSpinner thanks for the idea

  • I agree with this 100%.

  • @TheDeepThinkingDoll I wish I could thumbs up your comment much MORE!

  • I personally liked the game but his poin

  • so fucking true

  • hahaha i stood in a corner until i got 6m XD

  • Well, it's more Nazi than Fascist.

  • @KAPTAINmORGANnWo4eva Nazis are Fascist 

  • @DuckFeetProductions But Fascists aren't Nazis.

  • It is nice to see Mark Heap still getting work

  • When you pet your dog it strongly resembles making out especially when you dip it and stick your tongue down its throat like you're teaching it dirty dancing! LOL

  • finally this game is as shit as hell

Loading...
Alert icon
0 / 00Unsaved Playlist Return to active list
    1. Your queue is empty. Add videos to your queue using this button:
      or sign in to load a different list.
    Loading...Loading...Saving...
    • Clear all videos from this list
    • Learn more