This Troper EP 36: Deadpan Snarker (TV Tropes)

[RoyCutling]

'This troper has no sense of timing and desperately deceives himself he is the wittiest, even though proof would say otherwise.'

[hiverhythm]

He must be foolish by now. HAHAHAHHAAHAHA

HAHAHHAH

so witty

[DrButler]

"I'm an insufferable jackass, and no-one likes me"

[CalebTheTimeTraveler]

This one is by far the most painful one yet.

[Judex777]

So many words, so little to say.

This is an example of what normal human beings call "a punchline". If you want to be "snarky" you must be funny. Otherwise you're a "troper" which is internet speak for "loser".

[BluBoulzor]

He must be foolish by now. Holy shit this is borderline mental retardation. They actually fucking called themselves Deadpan Snarker ? They are so fucking full of themselves holy shit it's impossible.

[Earlyrae]

1:01 I've never heard of such a genuine d-bag.

[legefy]

Charming, now you should make a youtube video.

[MisterMacross]

More like "this troper will die alone"

[franzmanicorn]

2:06 DURHURHURHUR SO DARK AND EDGY OMG

[MsAckAck]

1:36-You will never be House, stop embarrassing yourself.

[bishtycat]

OH WOW YOU TROPERS ARE SO WITTY I'M SO CUT UP BY YOUR HORRIBLE REMARKS

-_-

[KylorTheGenius]

Oh, look at me, I'm so dark and cool I'm gonna tell a bunch of kids all about it online!

[gatotsu2501]

For as much as Aspies profess to love sarcasm, most seem to have a rather poor understanding of it.

[StrongIntelligent]

@gatotsu2501 Talking with someone who has aspergers, tell me about it. One of the main traits of it is actually a lack of understanding about it.

[tobydelgato24]

I'm so glad Troper Tales was moved to its own wiki. Half the tropers on those pages don't even know what they're talking about and the other half are whiny little creeps.

[blackswordsman89]

The people from TV Tropes are the biggest bunch of losers that have ever existed.

Has to be.

[TheZajac123]

I hate TV Tropes

[HatiChantheWolfHog]

It's nice to know they can differentiate between an ordinary insult and a deadpan delivery.

[TheSamuraiGoomba]

Ugh. This and the longcoat trope is just weeaboo shut-ins jacking off to themselves.

[MsAckAck]

2:38-That commenter two bullets above the highlighted comment is exactly right.

[Octane64]

Troper tales is what happens when you don't have mandatory dodgeball in school.

[DRINDIGOPHD]

That last one actually made me slam my face on my desk.

[ALogIsAHuegFaggot]

So, according to TV Tropes, a deadpan snarker is, what, anybody who's ever told a joke?

[xcrazily]

i had to consciously control my impulse to punch the screen

[pellypates]

TROPERS:

YOU ARE NOT CHARMING

YOU ARE NOT WITTY

YOU ARE NOT CLEVER

IF YOU MUST POINT THESE TRAITS OUT YOURSELF

YOU ARE SMUG AND IT MAKES ME ANGER

[kryptomanik]

@pellypates Thank you, Mr. Durden.

May I also point out that we are not beautiful snowflakes and that we are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world?

[DieKolkrabe]

@pellypates No, that's a whole other trope entirely.

(self demonstrating smug bastard thankyouveryveryverymuch I'llgetmycoat)

[HunterBelmont01]

Funny most of the comments here are more deadpan than the examples here

[MeLikeGuns]

OOORRRRRRRRRR!

[ShinTheSilverDemon]

What happened to just saying you were sarcastic? And being a person who uses sarcasm themselves, there's a time and a place. Thinking of yourself as "cynical" and "snarky" means you think you're being ironically bitter when in reality people don't want to share the same breathing space as you and your awful put downs, you self-mythologising twat.

[TheLordExplodeon]

OHOHO OH DAT SLAPS ME ON DA KNEE

[PlankofWood1]

"You're THAT desperate for friends?" - 1:38 (unhighlighted)

Actually that's kind of funny

[JohnMooreification]

Friend: My Holocaust-surviving Grandmother's in hospital. Her cancer's getting pretty serious.

Me: Haha, what an asshole she is!

[tehloop]

Instead of reading TV Tropes, you should drink animal semen. When you read TV Tropes, it feels terrible, and you want to kill yourself. It's the same with animal semen, except when you're drinking animal semen, you're getting practice for going down on somebody. You can't really do that when reading TV Tropes, hell you can't even find the energy to kill yourself when reading TV Tropes!

[moneymandate]

I think these guys have the term "Deadpan Snarker" confused with "Obnoxious Jizzdumpster"

[Teiranyan]

Since when did being a raging, self-important asshole count as some sort of badge of honor?

Jesus fuck you guys. Just...god.

[pyro80]

i´m a geek and even I want to kick the shit out of these people

[daytimesky]

"What kind of an idiot are you?" True gem right there.

Man these people are so witty. I've been completely schooled in the art of snark.

[momoandmiz]

So I'm guessing they're confusing "snarker" with "asshole".

[SchedeenIndeed]

What about them ninjas? Them ninjas is cool, look at that old lady ninja!

[eruption257]

Deadpan Snarker, adj: Any person who "wittily" replies to a comment with either a shitty joke or a bad insult / attempt to be tough.

[ThatGypsyBoy]

Oh honeys...if you accept the fact you're a deadpan snarker - you AREN'T.

[LanguidGoat]

Offend in every way, nice song choice

[calvinjluther]

The fuck is that guy doing to his television?!

You can't be sarcastic to a TV, it doesn't fucking talk!

[bartov]

The wit and witticisms of Oscar Wilde live on in TV Tropes.

[HeartOfHurakan]

Aaaaand this is why I hate people. :)

[mrpwase]

Jesus christ.

[WinstonFisher]

Delete troper tales. Improve site quality by 100%.

[Brainstrain]

SO IS THE BIBLE

[TheMattanAge]

None of these were even snark. Just ego masturbation.

[889654]

So the troper at 1:25 wants to be like House? So original -_-

[Delcat42]

I've watched all of these in sequence so far, but the guy being a douche to that poor kid being enthusiastic about ninjas is the first to actually faze me. Just...I don't even like children, but how much of a dick do you have to be to actively slap down a kid like that? Poor kid was probably trying to impress the older guy to begin with by trying to show that he knew something about anime and was really hurt by that response. What a worthless, self-inflated fucknut.

[CrackaStoleMyBoat]

this troper s literally dr house. here read these conversations i made up

dumbass: hey you should shower, you smell awful

me: well so does your mothers cunt!

ORRRRRRRRRRR

retard:have you found jesus christ, here have this pamphlet.

me: yeah i found him, IN MY TOILET AFTER I SHIT :DDDDDDD

[TextheBored]

These guys are about as snarky as a fourth grader.

[SchedeenIndeed]

@TextheBored WHATEVER MUM I DON'T CARE.

[nesbroslash]

"I end up doing it a lot to my television." Ha, really?

[PWoTFinlander]

Dear TvTropes,

An over-sarcastic guy on TV = A funny character.

An over-sarcastic guy in Real Life = An unbearable jackass.

[Krauserowns]

"ohh look at me, I'm so cool and edgy" - Every troper ever

[BERTMARCH]

A lot of Tropers, nerds and spergs have overly inflated opinions of their razor-sharp wit. And you their stories of owning people with said wit are fake; in real life they muttered something under their breath and go home and type up something where not only do they have a proper witty rejoinder and everyone else in earshot thought they were hilarious while the target of their verbal barb slinked off, defeated, just like in the movies.

[EponymousKid]

@BERTMARCH Seriously. You should check the Troper Tales for The Reason You Suck Speech. It's even worse than this, mainly because a lot of the entries actually admit that this is what they WISH they'd said. I was actually surprised to see that one's still up (here's hoping we get an episode on it in the future), since it was under contention during the big TT scorched earth thread.

[inferno232]

NONE OF THAT. NONE OF THAT WAS WITTY. ARRRRGGGGHHHH....

[backwardshoe]

Hi, I am a Troper, people who have different opinions to me are stupid. sperg sperg sperg.

[fslpoon]

Just checked that the Tropers' Tale page of "Insufferable Genius" has been deleted; shit must have stank high.

[Napple42]

Nice music choice.

[Sigerick]

snark is supposed to be clever riffing on your surroundings in a sarcastic manner

these people aren't even assholes, they're too awkward for it. i imagine a lot of these comments were delivered in a too-loud nasal monotone. tropers are not funny people, point blank. they're barely even people.

[EponymousKid]

@Sigerick ...lol y u mad tho?

[Chef033]

Heh, you hear that? Yeah, I called you an idiot, I'm the next George fucking Carlin, what of it?

[speyeker]

It's a page full of Comic Book Guys.

[YamiAura]

Why are all of these people such incredible douchebags? I hope they all get raped and choke to death on big black mugger dick.

[speyeker]

@YamiAura They'd probably like that, as it's the only sex they'll ever have.

[YamiAura]

@speyeker Good, that means they'll volunteer.

[fslpoon]

@YamiAura : These tropers aren't douchebags; they are too fearful for other human beings to be a douchebag. What is being shown here are their fantasies: like the guy who says he walks with a cane and argues a lot -- I'd bet he has a Vicodin addiction as well.

[YamiAura]

@fslpoon They'd still be douchebags for WANTING to be like this.

[GreatNegus]

Ohh, I'm a snarker, I'm so edgy, lemme tell you all about it.

Also, that wisdom tooth joke is more like "An Incredibly Lame Pun".

[sw0rdf1sh2326]

@GreatNegus well, you know...they had to try and ape the CSI:Miami sunglasses thing

[EponymousKid]

@lera980 What the Hell, who flagged this as spam?

... a butthurt snarker?

[lera980]

You know...there is a difference between being a deadpan snarker who can use sarcasm with wit, and being an arrogant asshole who thinks insulting people is a form of sarcasm. Guess which camp most of these people fall under?

[EponymousKid]

I'm checking X2X's recent edits. I've no doubt that he's left some BRILLIANT witticisms that need my immediate, ahem, attention.

[EponymousKid]

...This right here, this is the holy grail. Everything up to now was kid stuff.

It's funny how X2X was talking about facepalming, because that's what I'm doing right now. Christ, could he aggrandize himself any more? I'd honestly like to see him try.

That last one... there's nothing to say to that, is there? That's an obvious fabrication, for one thing; if it ever happened, they didn't say anything. If they said something, the guys bothering them didn't leave them alone.

[FurryAR]

Tropers can't tell the difference between having a sarcastic perspective on life or a dry sense of humour with being passive-aggressive, consummate douches who omit the part where they're punched in the throat from anecdotes about their asshat habits.

[samuraikarasu]

Did that troper really call his shitty jokes "gems"

Choke on a dick you useless fuck.

[Sigerick]

the problem isn't that these people are jerks, it's that they're not fucking funny. none of the quotes on this page are funny, and i can't even imagine the circumstances in which they could be considered funny.

[EyeoftheU]

I am pretty sure that these are all true stories. They just forgot the part where they awkwardly stuttered their "witty" comeback out from under their breath, and quickly ran off before people managed to decode their barely audible muttering.

[SpamNapkin]

This troper also enjoys the smell of his own farts.

[BackgroundBailey]

Now, don't quote me on this, but I'm sure there's a fine line between "snarker" and "asshole".

Also, love the response that basically says "If you have to tell people..."

[lera980]

@BackgroundBailey

2:41, if you pause and read one of the above comments, even a fellow troper agrees!

[BackgroundBailey]

@lera980 Ha! Nice. Not all tropers are smug pricks, mind you....just too many of them if this page is any indication.

[ColBarnaby]

I call people 'Penis Pancakes'

that usually scares them away, then I win arguments!

[Kirbyoto2098]

This is somehow the most embarrassing one.

[EdmacZ]

There is one thing that is dead about these snarkers.

My respect.

[Kakolosque]

No.

[Reaprar]

You don't wanna fuck with these guys, they'll snark the fuck out of you.

[AwkwardBatman]

2:38

You. You there. Two bullets above the highlighted tale.

Get out while you still can.

[Protectorett]

My God these people are smug. Seriously, what is up with this page? When it comes to tropers, the one thing I really can imagine them being in real life is a sarcastic bored guy in the background with a dry sense of humour. It just seems to fit them. The fact is though, that I have never seen anyone who fits that archetype that comes online and boasts about how sarcastic they are and how they always come out top in arguments, let alone coming online to make transcripts of their conversations.

[BackgroundBailey]

@Protectorett That's because a lot of sarcastic people are usually sarcastic to the point of recognizing their own faults.

[Protectorett]

@BackgroundBailey Which is something these people are clearly lacking. They are being complete pricks and they don't even realise it. A real snarker would be aware of how smug they sound and would be doing that deliberately to get a rise out of people, except that it's Troper Tales and there is clearly no target, as well as no self awareness to it.

[daytimesky]

@Protectorett This is the best comment because it's true.

If you have to brag online "Look! I said something sarcastic today!", there is something wrong.

[Protectorett]

@daytimesky My thoughts exactly.

[TheMasterStrategist]

first

[TheMasterStrategist]

FUCK

[GoldNCase]

what happen to dairies?

[thenewmc2]

Oh man, these guys sure are a bunch of badasses, are you sure you want to make fun of them like this? They might have to come out of their mom's basement (that's the secret codename for their hideout) and come beat you up!