You make some good valid points about commitment phobia but also I feel you have made some very bad 'universal' statements. As a commitment phobe, I really struggle with a high level of anxiety in relationships which is very uncomfortable and distressing. You said that commitment phobes are very good at spinning a web to cover thier lies and that we are not in touch with our inner truth etc and I think that is very insulting to people who are nothing but honest and loving to their partners.
I found your video very helpful. It gave me clarity about what has been wrong with my boyfriend...we are in a crisis right now...and it also gave me some understanding that I am a commitment phobic too, maybe not so severe as him- but we obvously found each other...food for mind, and I definitely will start doing something about helping myself. Thank you so muh for this video!
You summed up a few things really well. I basically don't want to commit to anyone because I have plans to move around quite a lot(province to province, from canada to us, from state to state). And right now I spend 95% of my time working and building a career. Some days I barely find time to eat or sleep. That would be a huge conflict in a relationship.
you should do a video on how to get over someone who is afraid of commitment....I am sure I am not the only one who has falled in love with a person who fears commitment and is in alot of pain now because of it.
I had a disrupted childhood and ive always run and still feel like doing so.But on the other hand crave the affection of a relationship. But I have talked to my girlfriend about my issues and i am going into therapy.
i was upfront and honest with her and glad that she has stayed around with me, as i am willing to do the work to get myself sorted.
I have commitmentphobia regarding everything - romantic relationships, career, etc...! It has deeply affected my life and others' lives. I would say that right now, the problem is most affecting my geographical and career choices, my religious choices... everything, I guess. I'm thinking about therapy... I am, right now, possibly about to really hurt a friend (not a romantic partner), because I'm wanting out of a commitment I made... and I really DO feel I made a mistake...
How does one heal from being hurt by a commitment phobic? Yes you are right... Very painful lesson. Hurt hurt. I feel frightened to even try and date anyone else. Can't have my heart ripped apart like that. It's like it reminds me of my relationship with my parents... They would abandon me right when I needed them.. Or when I felt safe. I feel so afraid to feel safe with another again.
I am loving your vids, although It's like you have met me and are now telling the world about me and my problems. thank you and please keep them coming
thanks Victoria. i am a commitment phobic and i do want to get over this. what you said about growing up in a volatile family is my case, and it makes a lot of sense if i think about it.
Its funny how divorce is never discussed with the reason of this fear or in my opinion legal choice.
CpsLock3 1 week ago
You make some good valid points about commitment phobia but also I feel you have made some very bad 'universal' statements. As a commitment phobe, I really struggle with a high level of anxiety in relationships which is very uncomfortable and distressing. You said that commitment phobes are very good at spinning a web to cover thier lies and that we are not in touch with our inner truth etc and I think that is very insulting to people who are nothing but honest and loving to their partners.
gw1llster 2 weeks ago
I found your video very helpful. It gave me clarity about what has been wrong with my boyfriend...we are in a crisis right now...and it also gave me some understanding that I am a commitment phobic too, maybe not so severe as him- but we obvously found each other...food for mind, and I definitely will start doing something about helping myself. Thank you so muh for this video!
brbrhej 5 months ago in playlist Self help
Excellent Job!!!!! Good going......
arielskies12 6 months ago
You summed up a few things really well. I basically don't want to commit to anyone because I have plans to move around quite a lot(province to province, from canada to us, from state to state). And right now I spend 95% of my time working and building a career. Some days I barely find time to eat or sleep. That would be a huge conflict in a relationship.
clintonskakun 7 months ago
you should do a video on how to get over someone who is afraid of commitment....I am sure I am not the only one who has falled in love with a person who fears commitment and is in alot of pain now because of it.
tinylullaby 8 months ago
if I am 19 should i not be worried about it? cuz im pretty sure i have some real commitment issues.
jakelite43 8 months ago
Comment removed
MissBroadwayDork 10 months ago
Thanks Victoria it makes total sense to me.
I had a disrupted childhood and ive always run and still feel like doing so.But on the other hand crave the affection of a relationship. But I have talked to my girlfriend about my issues and i am going into therapy.
i was upfront and honest with her and glad that she has stayed around with me, as i am willing to do the work to get myself sorted.
MBTDK 11 months ago
@MBTDK hey man, just wanted to ask is the therapy helping you?
kenshinjd 8 months ago
Comment removed
samina55 1 year ago
ure amazingg
SHOSHINE 1 year ago
I need help, Victoria. Ugh!!!
katyc130890 1 year ago
I have commitmentphobia regarding everything - romantic relationships, career, etc...! It has deeply affected my life and others' lives. I would say that right now, the problem is most affecting my geographical and career choices, my religious choices... everything, I guess. I'm thinking about therapy... I am, right now, possibly about to really hurt a friend (not a romantic partner), because I'm wanting out of a commitment I made... and I really DO feel I made a mistake...
meeshlabelle 1 year ago
You are describing the guy who broke my heart and me as well.
loiba 1 year ago
Woah! Describes this guy that hurt me so much... I'm so glad I learned this now
tatendamuranda 1 year ago
Comment removed
tatendamuranda 1 year ago
How does one heal from being hurt by a commitment phobic? Yes you are right... Very painful lesson. Hurt hurt. I feel frightened to even try and date anyone else. Can't have my heart ripped apart like that. It's like it reminds me of my relationship with my parents... They would abandon me right when I needed them.. Or when I felt safe. I feel so afraid to feel safe with another again.
loveadventurefun 1 year ago
I am loving your vids, although It's like you have met me and are now telling the world about me and my problems. thank you and please keep them coming
Jo-Anne (Australia)
iloveknitting1 1 year ago
Hello Victoria, I love your materials and the way you comunicate them, thanks for all the topics you adress.
I´d like to invite you to visist my channel is about ecology environmental and animal rights.
Best Regards, Mariana.
dignidadambiental 1 year ago
thanks Victoria. i am a commitment phobic and i do want to get over this. what you said about growing up in a volatile family is my case, and it makes a lot of sense if i think about it.
cambrujita 1 year ago