Added: 4 years ago
From: RoyZimmerman
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  • You're a genius, I love your songs!

  • :) clever and funny

  • Great!

  • Great1

  • I was the only teenager at one of his performances. My parents were surprised when I got all dirty jokes.

  • "just hold it potty training" LMAO!

  • Wasn't that a BeeGees song?

  • I now bring you Sex Ed...Today!

    Teacher: "Abstain! Teach the controversy!"

    Kids: "4Chan."

    Teacher: "...Oh dear god."

    *teacher leaves*

  • lol :)

  • Abstain with me all night long. Now that's romance.

    GO 69

  • The new Tom Lehrer no doubt. I'd abstain with Roy ANY time.

  • @vivalaleta A new Lehrer indeed... although to my recollection, Lehrer was never politically controversial in any way.

  • I can't believe the dislike count is STILL at 69.

  • Best Irony ever: people who disliked this video: 69.

    think about it

    then lol

    THUMBS UPS :)

  • This man is a genius. I've spent to much time laughing at his lyrics, I failed to see how completely awesome he is on the guitar.

  • I can't believe that 69 people downrated this video. First of all....it was entertaining....secondly, I find the number 69 amusing.

  • That's funny

  • I just love Roy's "Yeah, I just said something filthy. Jealous?" look.

  • He reminds me of IRS, the WWF wrestler from the 90s

  • I love how the dislike count is at 69 at the moment... x )

  • Oh come on! Saying to not have sex is like putting the words "DO NOT PUSH" on a big red button, that happens to be on a place where everyone can see it. It just makes you want to do it more!

  • people know about STIs, people just ignore it 'cause they don't care

  • I've used the comparison at the beginning of this video so many times since first hearing this, and always do I give credit to you.

  • why is he not world wide. did cia or mi5 make sure that i cant hear his sage.

  • "I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex."

  • 3:12  how i mean how???

  • @amjack11

    This.

    Yay for sexual tension and frustration.

  • @TalynCo

    still, thats pretty damn high

  • Like a "just hold it" potty training program. Now that is funny.

  • i wonder what ever happened to PARENTS talking to their kids, teaching their kids, and holding themselves responsIble for how their kids come out?

  • It sould be called "Sexuallly transmited deases ed"

  • *wipes tears from eyes so can see to type*

    Umm, can anyone help me? I was laughing, and now I can't find my arse! XD

  • i don't ever recall a teacher urging us to "have sex" in any sex class... why the hell do they need to teach us abstinence? as if that'll stop all of the kids already having more sex than adults

  • The age groupe curently having most unprotected sex and STD problems is actually 30-35. We just hear more about the teens who do it.

  • very good point.

  • @HazelEhren

    Source please?

  • If you never learn to use contraceptives properly, then where does that put you when you get married? Are you gonna have a baby every summer for fifteen years? Cause back in the day people did. (I would know, they're my ancestors.)

    Sure, abstinence is a very good idea for the young set, but once you break your twenties it starts getting more and more illogical. It's an admirable virtue, but imposing it on kids in the education system is ridonkulous. A condom isn't a cobra, it won't bite you.

  • Very well put

  • Roy, I don't know how you can make your voice squeak like that without hurting your throat! I saw you live last week and you did that squeak a few times. Whew!

  • That's what she said.

  • LMFAO!!!!

  • Do you EVER not make me laugh myself into side-pain? I wish I had a tenth of your genius.

  • effing brilliant!

  • Hey Kowsgalor, rape is about power NOT sex. So to assume so a guy would rape because he can't control himself is asinine.

  • Says who?

  • if you abstain together all night long, , soon you'll find that you are abstaining alone.

  • I want to see this song on American Idol

  • OMG ROTFL

  • god i love this guy so much

  • I think the cause of confusion here is that not everybody has the same sex drive. So it's hard for some of us to understand how others of us have behaved sexually.

    On the other hand, I'm pretty sure that we all have the same poop drive. Therefore we can all understand how the others have needed to poop.

  • I understand what you're saying, but I still feel the statement DOES imply sex is akin to involuntary bodily functions :P Thanks for being civil about it, tho ^_^d

    "How to Order Out Cooking Class" - that's a good one! How about "Ground Level Skydiving", "Gardening on Concrete" lol. I agree that what Roy is really talking about and what we should be talking about is how we educate kids about sex instead of pretending it doesn't exist.

  • "Abstinence only sex education. That's like just-hold-it-in potty training."

    That sounds an awful lot like the myth of the unstoppable male, a rationale along the same lines that was used to legitimate rape thru-out in the near past.

  • I don't see how . . . can you explain a little more of what you mean?

    (Note, I'm not being mean or rude, I really want to understand).

  • Sure. I learned about it in a business law course I took a while back in college.

    "The Unstoppable Male" was a doctrine that stated if a man was sexually aroused he must satisfy his sexual urges and nothing can stop him. To make it easier to understand, experts often compare it to urination, like my professor did: "It's like peeing. Once you start, you physically can't stop."

  • For a long time in the Unstoppable Male doctrine (tho I don't think that name appears in any official documents) was used in British and US courts to defend men who were accused of rape. The defendant would claim the woman had aroused him and he physically couldn't restrain himself from having sex with her. In layman's terms: "She turned me on, so it's her fault I raped her." Courts would actually honor that defense and leave rapers unprosecuted.

  • By comparing sex to urination, Roy is essentially saying sex is something you can't control. I don't think it would be consistent to say that a rapist can control his sexual urges but a teenage couple can't. Either both can or both can't.

    I think everyone can control their sexual urges, and considering the US rate of teenage pregnancy and it's link to the high school drop-out rate, I think a lot of teenagers would be better off if they did abstain a little more.

  • It might just be me, but when I heard that, I took it to mean that Roy was comparing sex education to potty training, not sex to urination/defecation- he was saying that abstinence-only sex education is an oxymoron, much as is 'just-hold-it' pottytraining. The very definition of sex or going to the bathroom is doing the act, ergo teaching about it has to focus on the act, or at the very least include the act with talking about not doing it.

    But that was just my take on it.

  • "he was saying that abstinence-only sex education is an oxymoron, much as is 'just-hold-it' pottytraining."

    By making the comparison he's saying sex is an involuntary bodily function like peeing. If sex is involuntary, then rapists can't be held responsible because they couldn't help it - that's the Unstoppable Male Doctrine which was used for years to let rapists get away with violating their victims bodily integrity.

  • I totally understand what you're saying, but I still feel that the statement doesn't necessarily have to imply that sex is akin to bodily fuctions. Perhaps a better analogy would have been "How To Order Out Cooking Classes" instead of "Just Hold It Potty Training"- talking about the education about the act, and not the act itself.

    Maybe?

  • or they could use condoms and birth control and not have to abstain at all. just a thought.

  • Roy is singin about the unstoppable teenage sex. It takes two to tango, you know.

  • Uh, no, schnauzer. You are reading *way* too much into that. The point is that there is a huge difference between controlling your own urges and trying to control everybody else's urges. That's what the abstinence movement is all about: trying to force other people into the movement's own ideals of "purity".

    Put it this way: would you stop excreting if your parents *had* subjected you to "just hold it" potty training? No. Similarly, kids don't stop having sex if exposed to abstinence-only.

  • Makes me want to have sex!

    ...with birth control. (;

  • oh, baby!

  • For some reason I was thinking this would be an "Abide With Me" parody. :) It was definitely funnier than I imagined.

    And "When you're not there, I'm blue." ...Bwahahahaha! That look of "Wait for it!" when people started laughing was priceless.

  • The funniest part of the song is that some parts are on the edge of romantic, actually. I mean, I wouldn't mind abstaining with someone if they asked me in song form. Then it's just funny because he manages to make fun of romantic songs and abstinance only education at the same time. Well done.

  • Ah hell say no to cuddling all night long? never :) Sometimes the cuddling before and/or after is better then the sex itself. Maybe I'm just to much of a sentimental love bug anyway.

    Perfect male right? horny but sensitive. ;)

  • gave FightTheElite a thumbs up for comment. Youtube simultaneously marked it as spam -- youtube glitch, I suppose. FTE's comment is not spam.

  • DICKHEADS RULE THIS COUNTRY!

  • so true however, i would also like to add the fad that

    HYPOCRITES FOUNDED THIS COUNTRY!

  • I can't believe how cool this guy is.

  • @malhombre

    ....then you should watch his "Creation Science 101" If you haven't already seen it. It's epic!

  • @erindufault

    First of all, it was a joke.

    Secondly, he meant teenagers as a group, not one individual. In that sense you can tell teenagers not to have sex but it's going to fail. The evidence is in the fact that the teen pregnancy rate and spread of STDs amongst teens is much more of a problem in the US than in most other civilized countries.

    In my country (the Netherlands) kids get effective sex education which teaches them about STDs and condoms, rather than this abstinence bs.

  • Definitely, the system here (yes Dutchy too ;) ) to actually educate teens instead of just say don't do it without adequate explanation as to why (the thing that never works, "don't do that" makes anything instantly interesting to check out and do) is a far better system. Anything that portrays perfectly normal behaviour as unnatural, wrong, abnormal is not healthy in any case.. Denying what you are will just leave you mentally screwed over time.

  • @FightTheElite

    It's not the entire U.S., just the weirdos in the south and middle America. I live in California and we have very comprehensive sex ed. The teacher not only showed us how to use condoms, but showed us how much they stretch. Don't judge the coast-dwelling Americans by the rest of the country.

  • @FightTheElite - Excellent point. This is why I'm moving out of the U.S. as soon as possible. I don't want me or my kids to have to be subject to the BS here.

  • @FightTheElite alot of are schools still talk about the actual normal shit you supposed to talk about not the bs that some schools do with abstainince

  • @FightTheElite Oh trust men, most of us US teenagers know how much bull it is too. Even at my school, where we DID spend 2 days on STD's and watch a video on how to use a condom, our teacher told us "abstain from sex until you're in a trusted commited relationship- so either married or engaged." Poor gay kids. Speaking of which, they don't bring up gay sex. Which means roughly 10% of teenagers have to learn from the internet/ off the street.

  • This one is the best!

  • "just hold it potty training" ...LOL

  • "just hold it potty training" hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

  • Bach and go-bowlin...omfg thats hilarious

  • They say "No sex is safe sex". To me, no sex...is no sex.

  • LOL

    well said.

  • i think there's nothing wrong with abstinence but abstinence-only sex education is ridiculous and completely illogical

  • Yeah, ridiculous ... unless they teach it through trial and error!

  • amazing!

  • Abstinance sex education... isn't that just "no" sex education? Just a thought...

  • Exactly. What a painful fallacy it is. Let's start up the non-number maths and the illiteracy curriculum while we're at it so the kids have something extra to not study in the anti-book libraries IN THEIR STUPIDITY ONLY SCHOOLS.

  • the other day i asked someone to abstain with me bc of this :)

  • the whole abstinance education thing is a joke and a complete waste of time, as proved by the rediculous amount of pregnant girls in my small town high school. i believe students have a right to information about how to protect them selves. also sex is more than just physical but there is no mention of the emotional, psycological and social effects.

    also

    ZIMMERMAN FOR PRESTIDENT!

    a rediculous statement but dude wouldn't it be fun?

  • it definatly would be! it would be a lot better then Bush. At least Roy knows what goes on on the country. The only things that bush knows is what his supervisours (sorry i know that i spelt that wrong) and the fastest way to the nearest Taco Bell is.

  • HA HA HA Just hold it potty training XD

  • Christian: "Don't have sex or our god will burn you in the fires of hell!"

    sounds like terrorism to me...

    Christian: "Sex is evil it will make you kill yourself!"

    normal Person: "Why is sex evil? its natural and i see no logical reason to avoid it."

    Christian: "Logic is the devils language! just like reason and science and math!"

    Normal Person: "WTF?"

    truth.

  • no sex,no humans to 'rule' their logic is as dumb as religion itself.

    (No quarrel with belief, but belief and religion are not the same thing)

  • yes it is. stop being a hypocrite

  • Seriously, I'm 16 and my parents talked to me about sex when I was about 9. Because of this i've steered clear. I'm not goin to get it on tell im at least in college, and if I do do it i'm not doin without a condom.

  • Schools need to steer clear of both teaching pure abstinence AND just flat out 'use-a-condom, hun' logic. Just give the kids the information and let them be smart or stupid by their own direction. Of course, if parents would just do their jobs and teach their own damn kids themselves about this sort of thing, the situation would be moot. But alas, parents aren't doing their jobs and schools are trying to take over the role, failing horribly.

  • "Just give the kids the information and let them be smart or stupid by their own direction..."

    Isn't that what responsible sex education does; educate?

    "... schools are trying to take over the role, failing horribly. "

    I don't know why everyone acts like sex ed. is a new phenomenon. It's been in public schools for decades. I remember in 5th grade being told that abstinence is the only sure way to avoid STD and pregnancy, but if you're gonna do it then....

  • All I'm saying is it should be the parent's job to teach this stuff, not the schools. Nobody's going to be happy with how the schools do it because they want it taught their own way without actually teaching it to their kids themselves. It's a lose/lose situation either way.

  • "All I'm saying is it should be the parent's job to teach this stuff, not the schools."

    I agree. However, that isn't reality.

    "It's a lose/lose situation either way. "

    I disagree. Proper, comprehensive sex education, and it must be done in school, is a win/win situation for the kids. The problem with parents teaching sex ed is that many of them DON'T know.

  • Ahhhhh Hahahaha!!!!!!!!!

    You should try to get a spot on The Colbert Report!

  • I second that.

  • chords?

  • The only time fundamentalists don't reckonize each other is at hooters and the liquor store.

  • The religious assholes wants to controll the entire fucking world with their neanderthal-morales.

    The kids will have sex whether you like it or not, so just teach them to have safe sex, and don´t tell them to stop having sex.

  • "The kids will have sex whether you like it or not, so just teach them to have safe sex, and don´t tell them to stop having sex. "

    Excellent point. Here's a bit-o-trivia: those states with the highest percentage of Christians also have the highest rates of teen pregnancy. Abstinence only is really working great there, eh?

  • The fact that for Christian teens, sex is the ultimate forbidden fruit, makes it all the more alluring.

  • "The fact that for Christian teens, sex is the ultimate forbidden fruit, makes it all the more alluring. "

    Right you are, Carl. I'm sure you're familiar with the "preacher's daughter syndrome".

  • You said it. Religious nuts (christian, muslim etc) are busy making a mess of things all over this world, as far as I can see.

    I still love this song!! Just hold it potty training....!!! Whatta line!

  • Evolution and weapons of mass destriction.

  • Like the Fundie Bible.

  • "When your not there I'm blue..." XD LMFAO!

    Why is sex ed even is schools? Shouldn't such an important lesson be taught by the parents?

    My mother taught me (although I wish she hadn't told me at four years old).

    Teaching people to abstain from a carnal desire like sex is just perpetuating the stereotype that sex is an evil, naughty thing that should never be spoken about.

  • American values or Victorian values... no great difference

  • That was very enjoyable, roy, thanks.

    Abstinence ed is totally useless, as research has pointed out, yet, Bush is pouring more money into it rather than look at some European countries and follow their example.

    continued

  • E.g. the Netherlands has an abortion rate of only 4.5 because sex ed is very comprehensive, and birth control is free.

  • Bush doesn't believe in observable data, remember global warming?

  • /groan

    The only thing anyone ever disputed about global warming is to what extent it is man made. Frankly, alot of the arguments in the environmental debate are only intended to confuse and scare the ignorant. Like statements about the world being warmer now than in 10k years with the implication that this is purely man made.

    Well duh, we're near the top of a known periodic temperature cycle etc. We're making an impact, but science is not anywhere near 90% sure about how large it is.

  • The arguments for abstinence are no better than the arguments for never setting foot inside an airplane...

  • I do understand what you are saying, but keep in mind that is your choice and you should not try and force this upon anyone else. Drinking people's blood thats either vamprism or phorpryia and ones a fairy tell and the other is compeletly curable.

  • But since most people are going to have sex it's better if our sex education isn't complete crap. It's not that abstinence itself is wrong it's that our school system is trying to force it on everyone. Some people will choose it some won't so for the people who do actually teach them about it.

  • hmmm looks like I'm the only only one not getting any sound on this... damn, was looking forward to this. Ive tried refreshing several times and its still not working.

  • LoL. Abstain with me lol. Really though being taught abstanince o

  • The "just hold it potty training method!" LMAO! I'm pretty sure my neighbors are awake now!

  • Sex is the best thing in the world

  • "when you're not there I'm blue..." XD LMAO!

  • lets face it. sex is just natures way to trick us into continuating the species.

  • "just hold it, potty training" LOL

  • Now this one topic that Penn and Teller finds dumb we can all agree on.

  • roy, this is . . . i like this . . . i luv this ever since i heard it the first time!!! teach us how to play abstain... i wont use it to promote abstainance or anything : )

  • I kinda really want to sing this at my church. Not sure if they'll appreciate it or not.

    A youth leader seriously told me that a condom is like a balloon. wtf??

    I find it interesting that places that don't want you to have sex say that condoms and bc don't work, but disease prevention places say they do.

    hmmmm

  • Hmmmm... stupid youth leader. I've never had a youth leader talk about sex to my group period, of course.

  • "I find it interesting that places that don't want you to have sex say that condoms and bc don't work, but disease prevention places say they do."

    Masterful observation, mimo. Look at the motives of the group and balance their message against their motives.

  • Are you being sarcastic?

    I do that, I was just mentioning it. There's no reason to be rude. I wasn't even talking to you.

  • I think I misunderstood your last comment, sorry.

  • Did I reply that to you? This thread is confusing, I can't tell who is responding to what! If you mean the other comment, I do that, too. In fact I checked several sites and they came up with about the same figures (1 or 2 percent difference maybe) as opposed to the abstinence places which I haven't found correlate with anything else. Of coarse, that's just my limited experience.

  • "Are you being sarcastic?"

    Nope, I was confirming what you wrote. It's difficult to keep up on these comment boards. The format really sucks.

  • Oh, thanks. I didn't want to jump to conclusions; I just read it as sarcasm. And agreed, the format sucks. But, it's not really made for major discussion, is it? It's supposed to be stuff like "great vid!", "make more", "I can't spell worth a damn", etc etc.

    This is more the talk for forums. ^^

    Good luck with the fights, all!

  • Oh, no problem. It's so sad that Yahoo pulled their boards down. It's perhaps NOT as sad that their profits were down 10% for the 1st quarter.

    You're right, this format was never designed for meaningful dialogue.

    Have a good one...

  • Thanks. ^^ I like the "Abolish Abstinence-Only Education" group on facebook. They usually have good conversations there.

  • "Thanks. ^^ I like the "Abolish Abstinence-Only Education" group on facebook."

    Hmm, I'll have to drop in sometime.

  • ^^ don't let Charlie marry you. He'll try. He's a slut. lol

  • Not quite accurate though. I haven't gotten my information from places that don't want me to have sex. I got it from sex-ed sites about birth-control.

  • " I got it from sex-ed sites about birth-control."

    They must be religion based considering most of what you post is erroneous. My favorite is the one where you said HIV will pass through a perfectly good condom.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • Um... thats interesting. Last time I checked, I was 17, and abstinent. I also don't do drugs, drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, or listen to gangsta rap "music". I think I'm fairly well "under control" in the sense you are using it, but thats really incorrect. Teenagers are, for the most part completely under control... of the media and peer pressure.

  • Not everyone is as strong, wise and smart as you. Not everyone was lucky enough to be born into the place and time you were born where you only started good habits. The downside is that you come across as a sanctimonious prick who's been nowhere - done nothing so all your judgements only come from an intellectual base rather than experiential which gives you fuck-all credibility. But I do relate to you for when I was 17 I too was a know-all who thought his shit didn't stink.

  • "The downside is that you come across as a sanctimonious prick who's been nowhere"

    That, he is. Glad someone else sees it that way too.

    "But I do relate to you for when I was 17 I too was a know-all who thought his shit didn't stink."

    My father says that at 17 he knew everything, and he's only gotten dumber since then!

  • At least a good point.

    "When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." - Mark Twain

    But you don't need to actually do something to have experience with it. Personal experience does not mean anything. If it did, why would we read?

  • "But you don't need to actually do something to have experience with it. Personal experience does not mean anything."

    Those are the dumbest statements I've ever seen here.

    "If it did, why would we read?"

    To gain enough background information to make informed decisions. You should really try it sometime.

  • ".. don't need to .. do something to have experience with it." That shows how immature (a stage we all go through) you are. Unless you've been IN a war zone you will NEVER know what that's like.

    "Personal experience does not mean anything" Only someone young would say that.

    Why do we read? For knowledge, or people's excitingly real experiences, or imagined experiences appearing excitingly real.

    Most people would become bored reading about ordinary lives.

  • Sorry bout that. That should have read "Personal experience does not mean everything."

    Obviously you can learn from personal experience, but although I have never held a submachine gun, I've learned immensely from "All Quiet on the Western Front." You can't just dismiss somebody's opinions on something because they've never done it. If you did, only people who've had abortions could have an opinion on whether they're good or bad, and only murderers could say whether thats good or bad.

  • It's interesting you open the Abortion Debate with an opinion whether they're good or bad. My belief is quite simple in the matter - I'm a bloke therefore I have no right to tell a woman what she can and can't do with the parasite in her body during the first trimester and just in case you think I hate babies, my niece had a baby two days ago. It's a cutie. BUT I wouldn't have told her she had to go through with it if she didn't want to 6 months ago.

  • "I'm a bloke therefore I have no right to tell a woman what she can and can't do"

    HELLO, another enlightened male. That is another example of "if you haven't experienced, then you don't know wtf it's like. Boy Wonder Colossus still can't figure that out.

    Boy is a woman going to take him for a ride some day...

  • Well I really don't feel like getting into this debate because it's pointless. There is no way to change anybody's opinion on it, because we don't know what human life is and what isn't for sure, so both sides will go on thinking the other side is complete idiots for eternity. I only brought it up to make a point.

  • "You can't just dismiss somebody's opinions on something because they've never done it"

    True, but the opinion of the person who HAS done it outweighs the "reader's" opinion.

  • "Personal experience does not mean anything."

    I'm still baffled by that one. You can't be all bad since you're familiar with Twain. But, are you telling me that you, as a self-professed virgin, knows more about sex than I do? Do you think you can read a "racy" novel and understand the physical and emotional sensations experienced during sex?

  • Oops, sorry. That was a bad statement. What I should have said was "Personal experience does not mean everything." Theres no doubt that it teaches you things, but it's not the only way to learn. What I mean is that since I'm in high school, most of the people I know aren't virgins anymore, and I talk to them about things like this. These are the conclusions I've come to.

    btw, Twain is awesome. Huck Finn is a great book. I prefer Steinbeck, though.

  • Well while I know I don't know all, far from it, I understand what you're saying. Circumstances haven't been very kind to me really, and I don't know how I ended up making the decisions I've made. I'm very lucky.

  • "Well while I know I don't know all, far from it.."

    You certainly wouldn't know that based on your posts. You're the self-appointed expert on everything from sex education and drug prevention programs, to marriage and relationships.

    A friendly bit of advice. Son, one of these days you'll break out of the protective shell you've been living in and when you do, you've got a lot of surprises coming.

  • Are you suggesting that I should act unconfidently and act as if I don't know anything? I don't know everything there is to know on this subject. I have studied it, had conversations with people who've done it, and gone about my own psychological musings, and I've come to my conclusions, so I state these conclusions. I don't see a problem with that.

    What protective shell?

  • "Are you suggesting that I should act unconfidently and act as if I don't know anything?"

    Of course not. However, I find it unwise to act as an "expert" in some area where you have no first-hand experience.

    "What protective shell?"

    The virtual "shell" that has allowed you to remain "innocent" of so many things in life (not specifically sex). A shell isn't all bad, but you must be careful when you enter the "real" world lest people take advantage of you.

  • I'll submit my conclusions confidently whether people agree with me or not, I don't care if I'm not an expert.

    Please don't make assumptions about my life. I've seen a lot more than you would think of me.

  • "Last time I checked, I was 17," Then why did you put 19 in your channel.

    "Teenagers are, for the most part completely under control" Yes and many are enslaved by religions based on The Goat Herders' Guide to the Galaxy involving the belief in Invisible Sky Critters -- it's the ONLY psychotic delusion 'allowed' by society.

    There are varying degrees of freedom; you sound as psychologically enslaved as most you look down on.