@Sileni What does the colour of skin have to do with the evaluation of virgins. And you would do many things? Like what sacrifice one? Have you ever had sex with a virgin? I have, my girlfriend, and though I love her dearly I keep thinkin I gotta show her some porn. shell get it eventually but dude its not all its cracked up to be.
Well, thanks for perpetuating Bill Hicks's message. The crappy music in heaven bit is directly lifted from Hicks, but his message is so important I don't mind hearing someone else use his jokes. More power to you, Lowell...sincerely!
@ecdifalco Please understand that Hicks is like the Simpsons. Its very hard to not accidentally hit on something Hicks has already done, so prolific was he and so right on. I'm actually flattered that I came up with something that he'd also come up with. I dropped the bit when I heard his and I haven't done it in years.
@klfly The ending brought me to tears! Part of the reason being that my mother used to "study" with the Jehovah's Witnesses, so I know how annoying they can be. Individually, they're actually very nice people, albeit a bit robotic.
As for what ecdifalco said, everything is recycled; stars, planets, people, plastic, music (there are actually only 12 tones to work with), and comedy.
What I dont understand is, wtf does god have to do with there being a recession and 'possbly' 3 wars? Whether In God We Trust is on the bill or not doesnt make ANY DIFFERENCE in what is happening in our world. This is the bullshit that George Carlin speaks about!
@klfly We would never push to have "There is no God" on our money. We're not that ones being pushy here we just think it's reasonable that our government and our money should represent ALL of it's people.
I have one for you. Knock Knock... sorry athiests you can't come in, heaven doesn't want you. You can go get butt raped by satan and hitler in hell now. Thx
@JohnTheYetiBeast So, Hitler gets free reign to butt rape people in hell? Shouldn't he be being punished as well? I guess if you're bad enough you get privileges in hell? I am going to work on being a better sinner. I promise I won't use my freedoms to butt rape people, mostly just to score free deserts and maybe get out of being butt raped. Awesome. Thanks for the insight.
Enjoy heaven, knowing for eternity the majority of humanity is in terrible agony you sadist.
@JohnTheYetiBeast I'm sick? You're going to enjoy heaven knowing that we're all suffering eternally, ETERNALLY, even after we've seen the poor judgement, and by me I mean the overwhelming majority of humanity, burning, tortured and you'll be happy in heaven untroubled apparently by our suffering so severely just because during the blink of time that is a human life we weren't as smart as you. You are the sadist here.
@klfly Get it right bro, If I somehow ended up in heaven, it doesn't mean that I would take pleasure that people go to hell. I wouldn't wish my worst enemy to go to hell. If I were in happy in heaven, it wouldn't be becaues people are in hell, like you try to make it seem. Stop putting words in my mouth. Don't explain to me how I think, because you simply dont know how I think.
@JohnTheYetiBeast Talk about putting words in another's mouth, I never said you'd enjoy it because of our suffering. I'm horrified at the though that you can enjoy it at all knowing of our suffering.
You made a huge, false jump in logic there and projected onto me something you could argue down thus ignoring the actual argument in place.
@klfly But you called me a sadist. Do you understand that the definition of sadist is...
1. sexual gratification gained through causing pain or degradation of others
2. an enjoyment in being cruel
Just because I told a joke, doesn't mean that I myself think the joke is funny. Therefore, you are putting words in my mouth by calling me a sadist. Now aren't you.
So am I putting words in your mouth? Or are you putting words in my mouth by calling me a sadist.
@JohnTheYetiBeast It is perhaps an exaggerated term but you seemed pretty stoked on Hitler butt raping me, which YOU brought into the dialog btw. you sick puppy.
I think you understand and continue to avoid the point which is that it would take a pretty suck fuck to spend eternity being anything other than extremely troubled at the majority of humanity suffering so with no chance to repent after learning their lesson, ever. How is it heaven will be perfect?
@klfl So is what your saying that if you are suffering in hell, that I should be suffering in heaven because of it? Interesting. My idea of hell is seperation from god. You, being atheist, choose to seperate yourself from god even before you are dead. God wants you to learn, embrace, and love and he will love you back. Who says that you deserve a second chance? Guess thats up for god to decide right?
@klfly Gloating about other people being tortured and raped...what could be more Christian than that? That's the whole point of believing! So you can feel smug at other people suffering in the after life!
Without the thought of those different from themselves being set on fire forever, Christians wouldn't even be motivated to get out of bed in the morning.
If I the Christian am wrong....... What Have I lost. I will have lived a life helping the poor, feeding the hungry, loving those rejected by the world, forgiving those who keep on knocking me down. I die and then I cease to exist. Hmmm...... ripped off but no consequences.
If you the athiest are wrong. You live by whatever values you decide are right. You die. You stand before God and then your own beliefs and how they translated into life will judge you............................ Ouch
anyway, I am Christian but I do respect atheist beliefs, now allot of Christians go like this " Athiests are stupid" I don't, think that atheists are idiots or that they are going to be "burning in hell" i believe they will get a second chance, thats just what i believe. but man lol, your jokes are funny :D
@TEHGROUND Appreciate it, but technically it is not "atheist belief" it is atheist disbelief! Yeh... We have the neutral stance. You are an atheist too, but I`m one more God ahead of you ;)
@BillHicks420 True, I shouldn't have said "Athiest beliefs" as they do not believe in anything, I am just getting tired of these hypocrite Christians who go "SOULLESS ATHEIST" or shit like that, Idk.
"am I going to be spending eternity listening to Cream" He probably said creed somewhere as well. Both Eric Clapton (of the band Cream) and Jimi Hendrix were referred to as 'the messiah' by fans. cheers.
Fuck yea nigga, thats a huge contradiction on some religious people. Going from door to door & assuming that you believe in a god (particular their god) and taking up your sweet time. I remember this lady who use to come to my house & try to "spread the word of god". I told her that I thought religion has mentally crippld humanity. Never saw her ever again. Score!
@artistsandbox It varies wildly. This clip is now three years old and the audience was about 50 people. Our Coexist Comedy Tour has had as many as 500 people. I do clubs that probably average at about 150. I have a weekly show at a cafe in town that is my workout room for developing new material and we get 30 to 40 people a week in there.
@freeofjesus I see where you get your bitterness from... your gay! Get over it, the fact your own family rejects your lifestyle is not the fault of everyone else... seek counseling to overcome your problems. Help is out there if you want it.
@Humbler25 Gasp (hands cover face!) you figured me out! my wife and kids are all a lie! how much do I owe you for this incredible wisdom from the butthwholey spirit.....please send me a bill.....im free!
@freeofjesus ok then, your bisexual - and that is a sense of great frustration for you and caused you to become bitter. Counseling is available if you seek it out. In the mean time, stop thinking about the naked bodies of men and just focus on your wife... perhaps that will help.
awsome man , i'm from london , people respect other religions and stuff here a lot more than the us , i am also an athiest, i still prefer the puppy joke , u know 'a man goes to see this young boy who is sellin puppies , the boy says oh sir they are christian puppies the man says oh how cute , few weeks later he comes back , the boy says oh sir they are athiest puppies now , the man says why? , the boy says becuase their eyes are open now.
I was eating a bag of crisps, and all of a sudden, I heard a knock on my door, i answered it and a voice said I'm here to spread the word of jesus chr..., can I have one of your doritos (no please at the end) and while I was offering him a criisp I said Sorry I know about God and Jesus and Have Dismissed them, He spat the crisp out and called me blind, What a Total Lack Of Respect, I threw his Bible Down the Road and told to get the fuck off my property and that surprised him oddly.
That last bit was pure truth. I hate religious people knocking on my door and disturbing what little home time I get. What I really hate was the one that left a little bible and pamphlet, and a note (pre-typed no less) telling me they were there and that they're sure *I'm* sorry for inconveniencing them by having not been at home when they took the effort to come over and spend their time sharing the good word with me. What sort of self righteous bullshit is that?
My cousine told me a heart warming little tale about a pair of religious types who came knocking on his door.
To put it simply anybody who knocks on his door gets a clear view through the window of whoever is sat on the sofa and(more importantly)what they are doing.
So...(as fate would have it)he was sat on the sofa vigorously masterbating when they knocked upon the door.
He looked at them,they looked back at him and then they promptly fucked off...
@f11R2 My life is equal to the person who replies to my comment a month later making a pathetic claim that I lack any life because I personally dislike people wasting my time then BLAMING me for it.
I'll be uncharacteristically serious for a moment Keith.
You brought up an interesting point about how those who Prosthelytize(I'm never too sure how to spell that fucking word!)think they have your salvation in their hands.
I have in the past cut some of the faithful a bit of slack because they honestly believe they are saving me from hellfire.
However when asked if they ever question their own faith or why they doubt some pretty fundamental science the replies are often frustrating!
This comment has received too many negative votesshow
@Myxril I am not trolling, therefore no attempt of mine is weak and pathetic as I am not making any attempt other than to state I did not find the joke in any way funny or witty.
That's wonderful, but you didn't send it to skatetoots, or DanteDouglas, or Roadie92, etc... you sent it to ME. The person who said the joke was -awesome-.
That is you baiting for some hot trolling action, weak and pathetic as the attempt was.
Next time, don't send your comment as a reply to someone with an opinion that's exactly opposite of yours. Just post it to the video.
Ive seen suckish comedy (cough Kevin Hart cough) but this just brings it all to a new low. It amazes me how narrow minded your thinking is on God and how he suffices life on Earth. Your jokes are not even relatively funny and you are truly blessed to be an American because if i saw you walking down a street near my endz i would fucking DESTROY you
Btw, check out hassy's channel and his uploads. Was quite "great" I think he can compete with you in terms of comedy. I think you should start praying to God now because a 10 year old boy with braces that sings to Flo-Rida (in a high pitch) and doesn't know how to hold a recorder properly wants to pummel you with his tiny fists.
Once again, you demonstrate the pure evil and violence religion brings out in people. You would "DESTROY" him, because he made a joke about what you believe. Grow some balls and realise that we can critique what we want. You don't hear Atheists saying " Im going to punch you out if you don't use your brain" do you?
Thank you religious person. I'm always happier to laugh with than at. Most religious folks realize that my targets are the extremists who make life uncomfortable for everyone.
I love when someone is very critical of my comedy and then reveals their bias.
I mean, what does you being Christian, proud or otherwise have to do with whether my jokes are good or not anyway. You make yourself look quite foolish.
Would love to get to Aus sometime. Please see my newer clips. This was shot on my first weekend back to stand up after a few years focused on sketch. Took a bit to get my sea legs back.
This bloke made me laugh(the knock,knock joke alone was a solid gag!)if you ever got the balls to stand up on a stage and try to be funny then you might be in a position to judge.
Tell you what,say something funnier than he just did if you are such a fucking comedic genious.
Be careful though because if your comeback is shit I will run fucking circles around you and expose you for the silly cunt you are!
Your move creep!(sorry just watched robocop,again!)
I was born in Scotland and my dad is English but sadly I left the island at the age of 8, when casual use of the word cunt was not yet possible.
I guess a foxy gal could use her vagina VERY cleverly.
Also interesting is your "the above message was for" and "Or the below message" comments. That is exactly what the youtube comments section is like! Plus when I click the comments section from my email it goes to the OLDEST comments.
After your threat and obvious predisposition to ruin anything possibly funny I can say, it's quite obvious that anything I say will be met with disapproval. Therefore, I refuse to try and make you laugh.
I agree that it takes huge fucking balls to do stand up, but that also means subjecting yourself to criticism, which the audience has every right to do. I'm not questioning the size of this man's gonads, I'm questioning how funny he is, since I've heard all those jokes from earlier comedians.
Dude,although I still stand by my initial comment I also think that you may be taking more offence than is necessary.
Like I said the C-word means little or nothing to the Brits but it is(in this context)intended to convey that I disagree.(All pisstaking aside)are you saying his delivery needs work or are you questioning the actual jokes?
I still dont see why you are in a positon to judge though,if you have something genuinly funny to say then I would be delighted to hear it!
DaveO, you crack me up. I appreciate your defense of my comedy. Thanks. You do realize you've talked to three different people now on this thread right? The original guy you called a cunt never did reply. :D
I didn't see this earlier. I don't mind criticism. By uploading and enabling comments in invite it. But don't accuse me of stealing jokes unless you can back it up.
Any time I've hit on a premise and realized it was close to someone else's I've dropped it and it's not happened often. It does happen occasionally, to ALL comedians. The jokes in this video are my own and I challenge you to show that it is otherwise.
That was really, really good! I like this guy cause he's not as disrespectful as some other atheists, who are just plain cruel... this is amazing comedy!
This has been flagged as spam show
He's a fuckin fag,u can see it in his face!!
projectcivic93 4 months ago
87,666 views xD
IScreamForiIceCream 6 months ago
Only a white guy would say something like, "What the fuuu would anyone want with a virgin?" -- O_o. Many things my friend..many things.
Sileni 6 months ago
@Sileni Which is the point of the joke. You need to obsess less on my ethnicity. We're all people man.
klfly 6 months ago 8
@klfly Blame it on Dave Chappelle, however, it'll go away eventually the more vids I watch of you.
Comedy is serious business.
Sileni 6 months ago
@Sileni What does the colour of skin have to do with the evaluation of virgins. And you would do many things? Like what sacrifice one? Have you ever had sex with a virgin? I have, my girlfriend, and though I love her dearly I keep thinkin I gotta show her some porn. shell get it eventually but dude its not all its cracked up to be.
foiran 5 months ago
Uh child you su' is ugliii. Retarded looking mofo.
bravone1 6 months ago
wow an eternity of listening to creed? even worse,an eternity of listening to stryper
coltsrule5150 8 months ago
funny looking guy who is not funny.
keeyk118b 8 months ago 2
@projectlevydelta Your clever retort has shamed me into silence....
floatingpineapple 8 months ago
""""anyone ever had sex with a virgin ?"""
Gawd : "Well, there was this one time..."
Hexl702 9 months ago
If you knock on MY door, you'd best be selling cookies -- cookies I'll buy!
Hexl702 9 months ago 2
@klfly
Don't these fundie clucks know the Pledge was written by a Socialist?
Hexl702 9 months ago
Well, thanks for perpetuating Bill Hicks's message. The crappy music in heaven bit is directly lifted from Hicks, but his message is so important I don't mind hearing someone else use his jokes. More power to you, Lowell...sincerely!
ecdifalco 10 months ago
@ecdifalco Please understand that Hicks is like the Simpsons. Its very hard to not accidentally hit on something Hicks has already done, so prolific was he and so right on. I'm actually flattered that I came up with something that he'd also come up with. I dropped the bit when I heard his and I haven't done it in years.
klfly 10 months ago 10
@klfly The ending brought me to tears! Part of the reason being that my mother used to "study" with the Jehovah's Witnesses, so I know how annoying they can be. Individually, they're actually very nice people, albeit a bit robotic.
As for what ecdifalco said, everything is recycled; stars, planets, people, plastic, music (there are actually only 12 tones to work with), and comedy.
Cannedmeat420 7 months ago
hilarious!
Renton156 10 months ago
What I dont understand is, wtf does god have to do with there being a recession and 'possbly' 3 wars? Whether In God We Trust is on the bill or not doesnt make ANY DIFFERENCE in what is happening in our world. This is the bullshit that George Carlin speaks about!
xXxAlHalLoWxXx 10 months ago
@klfly We would never push to have "There is no God" on our money. We're not that ones being pushy here we just think it's reasonable that our government and our money should represent ALL of it's people.
klfly 10 months ago
So... you're ok with...butt rape? Typical christian.
rproulx 11 months ago
kfly's a dick. probably calls himself a Christian too - LOL
kevih06 11 months ago
I have one for you. Knock Knock... sorry athiests you can't come in, heaven doesn't want you. You can go get butt raped by satan and hitler in hell now. Thx
JohnTheYetiBeast 11 months ago
@JohnTheYetiBeast So, Hitler gets free reign to butt rape people in hell? Shouldn't he be being punished as well? I guess if you're bad enough you get privileges in hell? I am going to work on being a better sinner. I promise I won't use my freedoms to butt rape people, mostly just to score free deserts and maybe get out of being butt raped. Awesome. Thanks for the insight.
Enjoy heaven, knowing for eternity the majority of humanity is in terrible agony you sadist.
klfly 11 months ago 2
@klfly You are sick. I don't think HItler was gay, therefore would not enjoy raping men in the butt, therefore making it a punishment.
JohnTheYetiBeast 11 months ago
@JohnTheYetiBeast I'm sick? You're going to enjoy heaven knowing that we're all suffering eternally, ETERNALLY, even after we've seen the poor judgement, and by me I mean the overwhelming majority of humanity, burning, tortured and you'll be happy in heaven untroubled apparently by our suffering so severely just because during the blink of time that is a human life we weren't as smart as you. You are the sadist here.
klfly 11 months ago
@klfly Get it right bro, If I somehow ended up in heaven, it doesn't mean that I would take pleasure that people go to hell. I wouldn't wish my worst enemy to go to hell. If I were in happy in heaven, it wouldn't be becaues people are in hell, like you try to make it seem. Stop putting words in my mouth. Don't explain to me how I think, because you simply dont know how I think.
JohnTheYetiBeast 11 months ago
@JohnTheYetiBeast Talk about putting words in another's mouth, I never said you'd enjoy it because of our suffering. I'm horrified at the though that you can enjoy it at all knowing of our suffering.
You made a huge, false jump in logic there and projected onto me something you could argue down thus ignoring the actual argument in place.
klfly 11 months ago
@klfly But you called me a sadist. Do you understand that the definition of sadist is...
1. sexual gratification gained through causing pain or degradation of others
2. an enjoyment in being cruel
Just because I told a joke, doesn't mean that I myself think the joke is funny. Therefore, you are putting words in my mouth by calling me a sadist. Now aren't you.
So am I putting words in your mouth? Or are you putting words in my mouth by calling me a sadist.
JohnTheYetiBeast 11 months ago
@JohnTheYetiBeast It is perhaps an exaggerated term but you seemed pretty stoked on Hitler butt raping me, which YOU brought into the dialog btw. you sick puppy.
I think you understand and continue to avoid the point which is that it would take a pretty suck fuck to spend eternity being anything other than extremely troubled at the majority of humanity suffering so with no chance to repent after learning their lesson, ever. How is it heaven will be perfect?
klfly 11 months ago
@klfl So is what your saying that if you are suffering in hell, that I should be suffering in heaven because of it? Interesting. My idea of hell is seperation from god. You, being atheist, choose to seperate yourself from god even before you are dead. God wants you to learn, embrace, and love and he will love you back. Who says that you deserve a second chance? Guess thats up for god to decide right?
JohnTheYetiBeast 11 months ago
@klfly Gloating about other people being tortured and raped...what could be more Christian than that? That's the whole point of believing! So you can feel smug at other people suffering in the after life!
Without the thought of those different from themselves being set on fire forever, Christians wouldn't even be motivated to get out of bed in the morning.
funkydanieluk 11 months ago
soo good!
MoonPisces029 1 year ago
LMFAO, and before this I thought that knock-knock jokes sucked.
Darkside626 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
If I the Christian am wrong....... What Have I lost. I will have lived a life helping the poor, feeding the hungry, loving those rejected by the world, forgiving those who keep on knocking me down. I die and then I cease to exist. Hmmm...... ripped off but no consequences.
If you the athiest are wrong. You live by whatever values you decide are right. You die. You stand before God and then your own beliefs and how they translated into life will judge you............................ Ouch
Watchthis7777777 1 year ago
ur so wrong that... that even ur hair is looking like Hitler's.. >=[
zilhar 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@zilhar
Godwin's law. Truth hurts, doesn't it?
3rkid2 1 year ago
anyway, I am Christian but I do respect atheist beliefs, now allot of Christians go like this " Athiests are stupid" I don't, think that atheists are idiots or that they are going to be "burning in hell" i believe they will get a second chance, thats just what i believe. but man lol, your jokes are funny :D
TEHGROUND 1 year ago
@TEHGROUND Appreciate it, but technically it is not "atheist belief" it is atheist disbelief! Yeh... We have the neutral stance. You are an atheist too, but I`m one more God ahead of you ;)
BillHicks420 1 year ago
@BillHicks420 True, I shouldn't have said "Athiest beliefs" as they do not believe in anything, I am just getting tired of these hypocrite Christians who go "SOULLESS ATHEIST" or shit like that, Idk.
TEHGROUND 1 year ago
@TEHGROUND Yepp I agree with you :)
BillHicks420 1 year ago
"am I going to be spending eternity listening to Cream" He probably said creed somewhere as well. Both Eric Clapton (of the band Cream) and Jimi Hendrix were referred to as 'the messiah' by fans. cheers.
MrAngryexpat 1 year ago
"am I going to be spending eternity listening to Cream"
Both Eric Clapton and Jimi Hendrix were referred to as 'the messiah' by fans.
MrAngryexpat 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
shave your head man you look like a giant faggot
MrPwnstar007 1 year ago
@MrPwnstar007 And you look like an ignorant, inbred bigot but I can get a haircut.
klfly 1 year ago 43
@klfly You do have the perfect head shape for shaving. This look isn't good.
dustinjt 1 year ago
@klfly MrPwnstar007 was wiiiide open for a skinhead joke! You should have went there.
McStabYou 1 year ago
hay man u look like will farell ....... well iam a muslim from india and i cant stand islam ... i wanna be an atheist ....
waseem336 1 year ago
@waseem336 You are an atheist if you don't believe in a god or gods, it's just that easy.
TurumbarTurin 1 year ago
Well, I just hope these 72 virgins them fundamental muslim terrorists get are all gay, overweight and ugly sadists ...
btw: it wasn´t "god" creating us in his image, but us creating "him" in OUR image.
peace!
LowStackTom 1 year ago
You're totally funnier than Dane Cook. D:
TheAyaStudio 1 year ago 4
I think i'll actually answer the door next time the Jehovas Witnesses knock, and have a chat with them. just mess with them
20012607 1 year ago
Fuck yea nigga, thats a huge contradiction on some religious people. Going from door to door & assuming that you believe in a god (particular their god) and taking up your sweet time. I remember this lady who use to come to my house & try to "spread the word of god". I told her that I thought religion has mentally crippld humanity. Never saw her ever again. Score!
ClosterphobiA 1 year ago
with you all the way, but dissing cream is blasphemy.
MrAngryexpat 1 year ago
@MrAngryexpat Well... yeah! :D
klfly 1 year ago
@klfly You sir are a GOD... oh wait
lbIeesel 1 year ago
@MrAngryexpat He said creed, not cream
JoshTJosh 1 year ago
@MrAngryexpat he definately said creed lol
NJKeystoners 1 year ago
lol you should do a show in the vatican, btw that knock knock joke kicks ass
danecooktz 1 year ago
Brilliant, just brilliant.
LondonCAFC 1 year ago
haha well done brother very funny stuff!
chrisplus23 1 year ago
上がいます
thisinuyashama 1 year ago
SIR U R GREAT!!!!
ciceromatrix 1 year ago
that knock knock joke is golden
faithisuneducated 1 year ago
that knock knock joke was fuckin hilarious. . just outta curiosity roughly how many people do you perform in front of on a given night
artistsandbox 1 year ago 4
@artistsandbox It varies wildly. This clip is now three years old and the audience was about 50 people. Our Coexist Comedy Tour has had as many as 500 people. I do clubs that probably average at about 150. I have a weekly show at a cafe in town that is my workout room for developing new material and we get 30 to 40 people a week in there.
klfly 1 year ago
@klfly
your quite funny i hope you make it big
and damn straight about those jokes too lol
monimstarfox 1 year ago
@klfly I get a boner when I see jesus sexy naked body on the cross......is this a sin?
freeofjesus 1 year ago
@freeofjesus I see where you get your bitterness from... your gay! Get over it, the fact your own family rejects your lifestyle is not the fault of everyone else... seek counseling to overcome your problems. Help is out there if you want it.
Humbler25 1 year ago
@Humbler25 Gasp (hands cover face!) you figured me out! my wife and kids are all a lie! how much do I owe you for this incredible wisdom from the butthwholey spirit.....please send me a bill.....im free!
freeofjesus 1 year ago
@freeofjesus ok then, your bisexual - and that is a sense of great frustration for you and caused you to become bitter. Counseling is available if you seek it out. In the mean time, stop thinking about the naked bodies of men and just focus on your wife... perhaps that will help.
Humbler25 1 year ago
@Humbler25 There is nothing wrong with being gay, Jesus was gay.
Khyrid 1 year ago
awsome man , i'm from london , people respect other religions and stuff here a lot more than the us , i am also an athiest, i still prefer the puppy joke , u know 'a man goes to see this young boy who is sellin puppies , the boy says oh sir they are christian puppies the man says oh how cute , few weeks later he comes back , the boy says oh sir they are athiest puppies now , the man says why? , the boy says becuase their eyes are open now.
princepe123 1 year ago
RITBLIH Religion Is The Biggest Lie In History look for it and like it on Facebook!!
hevblade 1 year ago
FAVORITED FOR THAT LAST JOKE XD
JustGhastly 1 year ago
Great seeing that American humour improved again, thx
Joke9972 1 year ago
Best-Knock-Knock-Joke-Ever
DoURememberMe9889 1 year ago
it's funny....because it's true!
lukeraynor85 1 year ago
best knock knock joke ever...EVERRRRRR
XxshtickxX 1 year ago 2
@XxshtickxX Thanks!
klfly 1 year ago
ahahahahahahahahah
sagarcooldirector 1 year ago
HAHAHA!! aetheist knock knock joke, imma hold onto that one ;).
downfall23 1 year ago
@downfall23 I hope it serves you well.
klfly 1 year ago
This is long. I had to write a song about it called celebrate.
MrAdamandEve 1 year ago
Don't think I've ever actually laughed at a knock-knock joke before this.
artemisfair 1 year ago
Funny stuff. Maybe best Knock knock joke ever.
mistymaycanada 1 year ago
Dude so funny awesome, subscringing now
RickyNinja0607 1 year ago
I love this guy lol
IamBobbyHate 1 year ago
listening to Creed for eternity... a true vision of hell
xvcranevx 1 year ago
nice vid....you still didn't really fix your hair....lol
miwaro12 1 year ago
keep doing your thing you're great!
angeltouch2007 1 year ago
That was the funniest thing I have seen in ages.... have to watch more.
acidlabz 1 year ago
Sounded a bit like that cunt Achmed the terrorist at the start of the joke, but I got a chuckle.
BobCassidy 1 year ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
stupid fuck
babaktrippy 1 year ago
Is that the best you can do? I won't be too troubled by someone as inarticulate as that attempting to insult my intelligence.
klfly 1 year ago 9
This has been flagged as spam show
@klfly i say babaktrippys a ,,stupid fuck,,
nice vid man awsome, i laughed my pants off :D
DeadScarab 1 year ago
@babaktrippy You sir, are an idiot.
DaveGrohI 1 year ago
I was eating a bag of crisps, and all of a sudden, I heard a knock on my door, i answered it and a voice said I'm here to spread the word of jesus chr..., can I have one of your doritos (no please at the end) and while I was offering him a criisp I said Sorry I know about God and Jesus and Have Dismissed them, He spat the crisp out and called me blind, What a Total Lack Of Respect, I threw his Bible Down the Road and told to get the fuck off my property and that surprised him oddly.
CaptainJones32 1 year ago 7
not bad^^
6ch6ris6 1 year ago
your no George Carlin but your not dane cook either so its all right
Dreamerx47 1 year ago
That last bit was pure truth. I hate religious people knocking on my door and disturbing what little home time I get. What I really hate was the one that left a little bible and pamphlet, and a note (pre-typed no less) telling me they were there and that they're sure *I'm* sorry for inconveniencing them by having not been at home when they took the effort to come over and spend their time sharing the good word with me. What sort of self righteous bullshit is that?
TechnomancerMorhion 2 years ago 27
@ TechnomancerMorhion.
My cousine told me a heart warming little tale about a pair of religious types who came knocking on his door.
To put it simply anybody who knocks on his door gets a clear view through the window of whoever is sat on the sofa and(more importantly)what they are doing.
So...(as fate would have it)he was sat on the sofa vigorously masterbating when they knocked upon the door.
He looked at them,they looked back at him and then they promptly fucked off...
Job done!
DaveODrisc 2 years ago 5
if this is a big problem for u
then I think u have no life
f11R2 1 year ago
@f11R2 My life is equal to the person who replies to my comment a month later making a pathetic claim that I lack any life because I personally dislike people wasting my time then BLAMING me for it.
TechnomancerMorhion 1 year ago
what?
f11R2 1 year ago
@f11R2 Precisely.
TechnomancerMorhion 1 year ago
ok...
f11R2 1 year ago
I'll be uncharacteristically serious for a moment Keith.
You brought up an interesting point about how those who Prosthelytize(I'm never too sure how to spell that fucking word!)think they have your salvation in their hands.
I have in the past cut some of the faithful a bit of slack because they honestly believe they are saving me from hellfire.
However when asked if they ever question their own faith or why they doubt some pretty fundamental science the replies are often frustrating!
DaveODrisc 2 years ago 4
@DaveODrisc Frustrating indeed.
klfly 2 years ago
not great in my opinion, but definately not bad...
skatetoots 2 years ago
That knock-knock joke is fucking -awesome-. XD
Myxril 2 years ago 37
This has been flagged as spam show
@Myxril the knock kock joke is weak and pathetic.
Scoob505 2 years ago
That's great. Why are you telling me this? OH, that's right. Because my opinion is different than yours, and there's a Reply button.
Your attempt at trolling is weak and pathetic.
Myxril 2 years ago 11
This comment has received too many negative votes show
@Myxril I am not trolling, therefore no attempt of mine is weak and pathetic as I am not making any attempt other than to state I did not find the joke in any way funny or witty.
Scoob505 2 years ago
That's wonderful, but you didn't send it to skatetoots, or DanteDouglas, or Roadie92, etc... you sent it to ME. The person who said the joke was -awesome-.
That is you baiting for some hot trolling action, weak and pathetic as the attempt was.
Next time, don't send your comment as a reply to someone with an opinion that's exactly opposite of yours. Just post it to the video.
Unless you're aiming to troll.
Myxril 2 years ago 5
@Myxril That was so fucking well said it brightened up my evening.
RSimusic 2 years ago 5
Hey, this guy is good. Fave!
Roadie92 2 years ago 2
i thought the jokes were funny and the act was better than average, but hey, its way better than anything i could ever do. keep up the good work!
parrudo77 2 years ago 4
Thanks. It's come a-long way since this was shot over two years ago. :D
klfly 2 years ago
Lol. No offense, I'm not sure what's more funny.... Your comedy or the responses that you get. Either way it's good stuff.
lvmrf85 2 years ago 3
Ha ha. That I can stand up to these responses in your book is high praise indeed. They are truly hilarious.
klfly 2 years ago
Ive seen suckish comedy (cough Kevin Hart cough) but this just brings it all to a new low. It amazes me how narrow minded your thinking is on God and how he suffices life on Earth. Your jokes are not even relatively funny and you are truly blessed to be an American because if i saw you walking down a street near my endz i would fucking DESTROY you
hassy4eva 2 years ago
Ah, and intelligent critique, easily identified by the religious bias and the threat. Run along now, that's now how play here.
klfly 2 years ago
Btw, check out hassy's channel and his uploads. Was quite "great" I think he can compete with you in terms of comedy. I think you should start praying to God now because a 10 year old boy with braces that sings to Flo-Rida (in a high pitch) and doesn't know how to hold a recorder properly wants to pummel you with his tiny fists.
kidax123 2 years ago
I thought the word of God was to preach peace and loving not hatred.
kidax123 2 years ago
That's ironic for you to say
sassyy01 2 years ago
Haha, how mad are you to follow me everywhere?
Lemme point out ANOTHER mistake in your points (yet again).
I
am
not
religious
kidax123 2 years ago
@hassy4eva
Once again, you demonstrate the pure evil and violence religion brings out in people. You would "DESTROY" him, because he made a joke about what you believe. Grow some balls and realise that we can critique what we want. You don't hear Atheists saying " Im going to punch you out if you don't use your brain" do you?
jacynm 1 year ago
lmao
capitanboots 2 years ago
25 inches, if you wonder
G0DsC0CK 2 years ago
Like what extremists?
EvolutionXDxd 2 years ago
lol this guys fuckin hilarous
THEleadguitarist55 2 years ago 2
Thanks!
klfly 2 years ago
knock knock joke was hilarious!
War3or 2 years ago 6
:D Glad you liked it.
klfly 2 years ago
OMG I laughed my ass off thanl you!
ViprChik 2 years ago 2
You're welcome. Thanks to you too.
klfly 2 years ago
Whether you're religious (like me) or not, this is funny shit!
Good job!
ljshoreslokal 2 years ago 4
Thank you religious person. I'm always happier to laugh with than at. Most religious folks realize that my targets are the extremists who make life uncomfortable for everyone.
klfly 2 years ago
Very nice vids you have,thanks for making me laugh.
samamithas 2 years ago 6
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed 'em. :D Plenty more coming.
klfly 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
wow ok that wasnt even funny, the joke was dumb, im not even offended because this was stupid, im proud to be
christian
zmanfg 2 years ago
I love when someone is very critical of my comedy and then reveals their bias.
I mean, what does you being Christian, proud or otherwise have to do with whether my jokes are good or not anyway. You make yourself look quite foolish.
klfly 2 years ago
that knock knock joke was classic
LYRICALxxxxANARCHY 2 years ago 8
rofl.. love the knock-knock joke.
PeicyP 2 years ago 3
Your'e absoultely adorable and your wit makes me smile
=)
Good luck, p.s. come to phoenix sometime, I know at leat six people plus myslef who would love to see you.
aximaroriginals 2 years ago 4
I agree with siddhdels, his delivery is not that great but he's quite funny.
Gocavs1990 2 years ago 6
loved the "in his own image" joke. Way better than any "have you looked in the mirror" punchline - much more attitude. I like it :)
cailleacbhuer 2 years ago 2
One of my favorites but it only occasionally strikes a chord. So THANKS! :D
klfly 2 years ago
shave ur head, get up and walk around, i really like you, then come down and do a show in Aus - funny as, australian audiences would love u!
Nark717 2 years ago
Would love to get to Aus sometime. Please see my newer clips. This was shot on my first weekend back to stand up after a few years focused on sketch. Took a bit to get my sea legs back.
klfly 2 years ago
yeap.... good stuff, more work on delivery... specially with that last joke.... you can pull it off much better...
SiddHDELS 2 years ago
Thanks! I think it has gotten much better. Please see newer clips. :D
klfly 2 years ago
lol good stuff but need to work on the delivery
acideos 2 years ago 2
Please see new clips. :D and THANKS.
klfly 2 years ago
This video is not what Jesus would do!
olio16 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
This guy sucks. Just because George Carlin made religion funny doesn't mean everyone can.
schellenberg1 2 years ago
So your saying only George Carlin can do religion jokes? He isnt bad.
bbbk123 2 years ago 4
This bloke made me laugh(the knock,knock joke alone was a solid gag!)if you ever got the balls to stand up on a stage and try to be funny then you might be in a position to judge.
Tell you what,say something funnier than he just did if you are such a fucking comedic genious.
Be careful though because if your comeback is shit I will run fucking circles around you and expose you for the silly cunt you are!
Your move creep!(sorry just watched robocop,again!)
DaveODrisc 2 years ago 4
The above message was for shiteberg(or whatever the daft twat calls himself.)
DaveODrisc 2 years ago
Or the below message(never know where the fuck youtube's gonna stick the comment)
DaveODrisc 2 years ago
Sorry for going on a bit!(wont happen again!)
DaveODrisc 2 years ago
DaveODrisc?
Silly cunt is a terrible phrase.
I mean how can a vagina be intelligent anyway? How can a man be like a vagina? What does it mean?
Oh and I agree that standup is difficult. Most people just look lame standing up in front of everyone else. Nothing wrong with trying.
8DX 2 years ago
In retrospect I may have perhaps been a little harsh in my response.
It sounds like we are on roughly the same page!
Cunt is one of them words that does not quite translate internationally.
It tends to be used quite casually by us Brits.
I've never met a vagina that could be described as clever,tidy maybe but not clever.(not yet at least!)
The phrase is not to be interpreted literally.
DaveODrisc 2 years ago
To be clearer,I should say that I think your appraisal was a littly unfair........you silly cunt!
DaveODrisc 2 years ago
Hihi - I didn't expect a response to that =)
I was born in Scotland and my dad is English but sadly I left the island at the age of 8, when casual use of the word cunt was not yet possible.
I guess a foxy gal could use her vagina VERY cleverly.
Also interesting is your "the above message was for" and "Or the below message" comments. That is exactly what the youtube comments section is like! Plus when I click the comments section from my email it goes to the OLDEST comments.
8DX 2 years ago 2
Yeah!a foxy gal could possibly do all manner of"Clever"things!(the mind boggles!)
Obviously I was just taking the piss a bit.
Like I implied,I meant no real malice.
What was we talking about again?
Sorry little bit stoned on weed and drunk off of(westcountry)cider at the mo.
who are you !
where am I ?
DaveODrisc 2 years ago
After your threat and obvious predisposition to ruin anything possibly funny I can say, it's quite obvious that anything I say will be met with disapproval. Therefore, I refuse to try and make you laugh.
I agree that it takes huge fucking balls to do stand up, but that also means subjecting yourself to criticism, which the audience has every right to do. I'm not questioning the size of this man's gonads, I'm questioning how funny he is, since I've heard all those jokes from earlier comedians.
explosivo101 2 years ago
Dude,although I still stand by my initial comment I also think that you may be taking more offence than is necessary.
Like I said the C-word means little or nothing to the Brits but it is(in this context)intended to convey that I disagree.(All pisstaking aside)are you saying his delivery needs work or are you questioning the actual jokes?
I still dont see why you are in a positon to judge though,if you have something genuinly funny to say then I would be delighted to hear it!
DaveODrisc 2 years ago
DaveO, you crack me up. I appreciate your defense of my comedy. Thanks. You do realize you've talked to three different people now on this thread right? The original guy you called a cunt never did reply. :D
klfly 2 years ago
You're welcome Keith.
Yes I'm(vaguely)aware of having had responded to several persons on this thread(the original apparently being too much of a cunt to reply!)
Cant quite recall the specifics though,which is the price one invariably pays for being a bit of an intoxicant enthusiast.
DaveODrisc 2 years ago
I didn't see this earlier. I don't mind criticism. By uploading and enabling comments in invite it. But don't accuse me of stealing jokes unless you can back it up.
Any time I've hit on a premise and realized it was close to someone else's I've dropped it and it's not happened often. It does happen occasionally, to ALL comedians. The jokes in this video are my own and I challenge you to show that it is otherwise.
klfly 2 years ago
"do you want to spend eternity listening to creed?"
LOL.
orangefan9 2 years ago 6
That was really, really good! I like this guy cause he's not as disrespectful as some other atheists, who are just plain cruel... this is amazing comedy!
LimeAndCherryTree 2 years ago 3
Hahaha good stuff, that last joke nearly had me in tears.
TheAtheistAussie 2 years ago
Me too.... :-)
JFC!
TurpisHaereticus 2 years ago 2
he came out of Christianity
mustardbongs 2 years ago
Good message, bad jokes.