The Downfall of Agile Hitler

[Halfwifez]

Where did you get these subtitles, they are all wrong!

[luci747]

how many bad news can Hitler receive?

[malteserfrog]

This has cheered me up today

[youmustbejoke]

@billiepipersteeth Velocity is the rate of change of displacement, not distance. Nice try, but this code monkey has a Physics degree.

[billiepipersteeth]

@youmustbejoke Errrmmm,,,yes, but also no.

[kbasing]

@billiepipersteeth Wow, you're a scientist? Oh deary me, that must make you a genius! Everyone knows that people who choose not to be scientists only do so because they are far too stupid to understand science. It's a fact that disliking science or having higher interests in other fields is impossible. Anyone who isn't a scientist just wishes they could be, but are too lacking in intelligence to get any closer than writing code. And words? Why, of course they only have ONE definition! Bravo, ass

[Radiohead420DJ]

@kbasing Its ok to embrace other things than science. But at the end of the day, science trumps everything. science explains everything. we are science. we eat sleep breathe science. my 2 cents

[arthas702]

now I think we're just fucked lol

[murdocj1]

It would be nice is ScrumMasters worried more about producing working software and less about velocity and the slope of the burn down. What they don't seem to realize is that the product is the software, not the charts.

[FrankSz100]

Funny how everyone "doing scrum" can relate to this. Kind of a paradox? There's no substitute for discipline.

[billiepipersteeth]

Velocity is a vector quantity representing the rate of change of distance. A body's velocity can be obtained from square root of twice its kinetic energy divided by its mass.

Anyone who uses this term outside of this context is a moron. You failed high school physics and are stuck in some dead end code monkey job void of any opportunity for real scientific or creative outlet. So please stop hijacking well established scientific terminology to make you sound like you are important.

[detached9]

@billiepipersteeth you're so smart you copy and paste definitions! yeah! you tell people they are morons! gtfo

[billiepipersteeth]

@detached9 You will find a definition of velocity (the scientist's version, not the code monkey version) anywhere else but here as this is the only place I have published it. Now run back to your scrum books and be told how to think, and follow your rigid set of rules without question and let them give you false re-assurance that this sort of nonsense is any kind of substitute for genuine experience and scientific aptitude.

[pablodepacas]

Even if my burndown charts look like shit! so true hitler, so true.

[kanujbhatnagar]

lol we're doing good at qa testing! xD

[nlnvcd]

LOL....so freakin funny

[lanswipe]

@nlnvcd and so freakin true

[TheBeezerbutt]

Absolutely hilarious...if you are a geek in the business you have been there and done that....

[hapiami23]

He sounds like Donald Duck! xD haha

[djschny]

For all my software development folks out there.

[h3llkitten]

greate subs! :D

[preetiedul]

I even brought you guys bagels, donuts... LOL !

[arniemg]

"I even brought you guys bagels, donuts, and whatever you wanted for lunch."

[memilybaldwin]

That was the funniest thing I have seen in a long time!

[jstyblo]

I haven't laughed this hard in years.

[NFSMW1AMW]

r they talkin about windows 7 lolz

[joelmartinez]

Haha, I've had this meeting before

[dogdogdogger]

Ok, I was crying through the entire thing. I wish I could show this to our team, but HR would probably flip. Nice job - so true to so many things that happen day-to-day building bits...

[darkoozy]

This is the funniest shit I ever seen. There must be a spy in the company, we are experiencing the same damn thing.

[POBox1999]

That's hillarious

[davidlars99]

LOL... "The next thing you assholes are going to tell me is we need to go back to waterfall!"

[kanelupis]

Jeez. This seems to be exactly what's happening to our project right now. 3 months into development and they still don't have functional requirements written.

At lest they're standing up for their... uh.. 'standups'.

[byFcz]

@kanelupis And that is the trick.. there will never be functional requirements written.

[marksievers]

"Do you realize how fucked up our velocity is now!?!"

[kcev]

I just started working for an Agile shop. This should worry me, I guess ... but it only makes me laugh.

[nyrolf87]

funny if you'r a tester or developer :))

[thefallenfate]

lol this is too fucking funny.

[devehf]

They even got the weeping woman assigned to the QA testers correctly. One of the excuses from the generals should be "the product owners didn't write clear requirements with business value assigned." Or maybe "the product owners didn't prioritize the stories according to business value."

[nilesdingo]

So funny! Butr come on - Don't diss waterfall like that, Fuhrer!

[Jackal0321]

My agile class watched this during our final week. We cracked up watching this

[Zeatrix]

If you're in the business, then this is teh funny...

[bae119]

Wow, what a total scrum-Nazi

[WielkiZielonyMelon]

This just rocks [;

[Landrew0]

Definitely the unfunniest one I've seen.

[datdude1988]

Nerds.

[Magnus2323]

nearby the whole translation is wrong - completly wrong!!!!!!!

[joaoboscoapf]

(nearby == almost) ? It is not a translation : Learn English

[vicovico]

no, really?

[mkarliner]

Rails, anyone?

[happybrowndog]

Whether J2EE people call it "Agile" or whatever the new buzz word is, J2EE development is still a pile of b.s., and it makes Hitler sound right. All this heavy structure and stupid frameworks just to push STRINGS to browsers. Give me a break. Talk about trivial problems made endlessly complex for little gain. That's what J2EE is all about isn't it. Real programmers solve far more difficult problems than just pushing strings to browsers on other platforms!

[wintex77]

Hmm. You're a PHP developer, right?

Whether [.net|java|c++|vb|delphi|tcl|*­] desktop application people call it "Agile" (...), desktop development is still a pile of b.s.(...). All this heavy structure and stupid frameworks just to paint pixels on screens. Give me a break. Talk about trivial problems made endlessly complex for little gain. (...) Real programmers solve far more difficult problems than just painting pixels on screens (...)

I think you didn't get the point...

[happybrowndog]

No, I'm a programmer with 16 years experience. 5 years of C++, 4 years of java, 2 years of delphi, 2 years of foxpro, 3 years of python. Only java's J2EE has the extremely heavy moronic frameworks that no other development environment has, and for doing such a trivial thing as writing a web app.  Even I can't think of one C++ library, including OSE that is as complex.

[wintex77]

But why is a web application necessarily trivial? I mean more trivial than any other application? The web is just the frontend, the complexity is most of the time under the hoods as with every other application too. J2EE != web. In fact, most of the J2EE APIs focus on the real complex things of enterprise applications like persistence, concurrency, scalability, security, client-server communication and so on. The web stuff isn't even required and can easily be exchanged by some other solution.

[a69a59b]

your both faggots

[jfbp]

Title is wrong... if they were using agile there wouldn't be a video.

[lakermangmx]

ahahha :p

[lipemh]

LOL

[abassguitaryouare]

this video is hilarious, i've watched it 3x already!

[CaptainMacNasty]

Don't let Hitler talk to you like that!  ...he's only the ScrumMaster!

[todd4551]

Beautiful! SO true!

[UK31337]

There's too many of these Hitler videos now and about 70% of them aren't funny.

I like this one though because I'm an ex-software engineer and it makes me laugh because it's so true.

[ChibiSabbath]

Yes they are real. This movie was all about the agile software development model.

[markl9869]

No they are not.

[ithalis]

Yes they are. Really.

[Challseus]

This is crazy. Even crazier, my old VP of development had a similiar melt down when she found out we were commenting out unit tests that were failing :)

[C0REYWARD]

Ahhhh that's fucking hilarious!

[ricardo072]

Lazy son of biches ?

who, Ciriaco and Zanganus ?

[DannoHung]

While it's funny, I don't think it's a really good downfall. The best downfalls are about leaders that are completely deluded about the situation on the ground, with unrealistic expectations.

Unless this is a commentary on Agile development and the managers that put it forth... hmmm...

[02077461]

It funny story costs 50 billions of human lives. Does anyone here understand it? Do you have any imagine of HOW IT WAS? We still have veterans who can not remember it without cry. Just stop, and think, please!

[xXTryanTXx]

lol angry german kid father

[ywarnier]

Excellent piece of subtitling. Hilarious and yet sooo realistic

[swisscottagelondon]

i even bought you guys bagels - haha!

[madeinuk14]

This is insanely hilarious for Agile folks

[panmarcepan]

I tak dalej wierze w agile'a i tym, ze pomoze mi podbic swiat ;)

[cezary141]

cala prawda o tym cholernym agilu

[daniela70]

Amazing, LOL!!! The only problem is many of my friends will never understand it. Too specific subject. :p

[thloh85]

Yeah... I would have shown them this, but I bet most of them would give me a reply - Huh?

BTW, great video, is totally perfect Mock Object for the video test case :P

[Bucefal76]

Every developer who works under the scrum will understood this well :)

[steveprowland]

This is uncanny! Life imitating art. Only Scott Adams comes this close to the insightfulness of this piece. 10/10

[shameful73]

I don't remember giving anyone permission to video my last staff talk!

[tk1911]

I heard this exact rant in a conference room, only without the German accents. Well done!

[neocoders]

That was fantastic. A Dilbert moment.

[bluenickels]

Amazing!! Very well done and super funny. If you've worked in Agile these terms and catchphrases are real. So funny.

[gabrielsond]

funniest video I've seen on youtube for a long time... but I guess you have to be a nerd to get it.

[n4kong]

based on true story 555

[jozeph78]

We're undergoing a shift to agile at my company. They say comedy is all about the timing. It will be hard to ever laugh harder than this ever again. I need 7 stars rating for it.

[todd4551]

Amen Jozeph!

[kulawat]

Superb สุดยอด!!!

[MrPeaceFrog101]

Nuts! Agile Hitler or Flaccid Scrum?

[craigwbrown]

needs 6 stars, no 7!

[taramca]

Thank you for the comic relief today! LOVED IT!

[DukeAMO]

I almost died laughing.

[discodaveb]

Hey, how did they get a camera in our retrospective.... and we've got to launch beta in 3 days....

[123scottyb]

lovin this

[Nervosos]

From where was this clip taken?

[rmaxrocks]

From the movie Der Untergang (The Downfall)

[rmbonitz]

I think I know every dumbass around that table. :)

[Holman111]

It is OK, we are doing good at QA testing, hahahahahha :D

[Bucefal76]

good one!

[tatatataboo]

the only ones who've managed to keep themselves siloed off from the agile power core

[pilkjaer]

sounds like my job...

[hargow]

awesome; really well done. i feel agile hitler's pain...

[trungiee]

HAHAHAHAHAHA

[szvook]

LOL....I'm dying here

[jsager]

I even bought you guys bagels and donuts!

[shevegen]

haha

unfortunately, when one understands german, it distracts from the subtext a lot........

[supercoolawesomeshee]

just mute it, and turn on some music

[kcobuntu]

"It's OK we are doing good at QA testing" HAHAhAhAhAhAhAhAhAhAhAhAhAhAhA­hAhAhAHAhAhAhAhAhAhAhAhAhA

[jwikholm]

EPIC :D

[sveltest]

Burndown in hell!

[klas2k]

That is the way things go if you do not truly embrace and implement a new process but instead thinks that the process itself will fix everything for you :)

/K

[rhizome31]

Agile is a new word for taylorism applied to programming.

[davotoula]

too good for words

[upkarsaimbi]

as an developer myself i can say this is so close to the truth it's scary! "it's ok, we are good at qa testing" - LOL

[undertaker1029]

is this wat happened in the movie? iv never seen it but looks good

[ThePoonMoon]

Are you tripping?

[redguydrinksbeer]

Epic!

[MichaelSahota]

I killed myself laughing.

[bullestock]

Das ist ja Klasse.

[gdulus]

True!

[wizwang]

That's good stuff right there

[overgroove]

Classic!