RiffTrax - Matrix Kung Fu

[extremeXjapanophile]

"You think that's air you're breathing?"

"It's wild rice."

[jthm1543]

his neurotransmitters are off the charts zZz?

[pretorious700]

I respect the fact that the Rifftrax guys aren't afraid to piss off legions of pimply Matrix fanfags.

[BlakesleeJ]

This scene with the commentary is great! The whole idea behind kung fu and creating a dynamic interaction through fighting is completely depicted in this scene. If you’ve ever seen Films of Fury, the Eastern influence on American films is definitely apparent in modern films like this. If you’re interested in seeing an amazing documentary on kung fu in the film industry, you need to check it out. bitly .com/uBGPir.

[Jackiechan39]

Holy shit 1:16 Mike knows the Wong Fei Hung theme!

[nannernanner]

"So little baby thinks he's breathing air, huh? Little baby air breather" xDD

[starkxp]

"heh i like computer stuff"

[IggyHazard]

"You are what you is." Figures they'd be Frank Zappa fans.

[eviljoel]

@IggyHazard They're HUGE Frank Zappa fans. They even dedicated an episode of MST3K to his memory when he died, and many fans assume that their song "The Greatest Frank Of All" (from the same episode) is really about Zappa.

[bbutters2]

These intense jacking in and learning anything you want scenes are what the sequels completely abandoned.

[sushrutthegreat]

be you are

.u r what u is.

[KralleCR]

thats an abbot, and thats a costello!

[MrTKizzO]

"Tank!..you're welcome"

haha!

[HumorFunnyHaHaComedy]

that 'make em laugh' bit cracked me up.

[Darksora46]

Hit me with your rhythm stick, hit me slowly, hit me quick, HIT ME!

[discotheminecrafter]

"Do you think it's air your breathing now?"

"It's wild rice."

ROFLAMAO!

[Mutt709]

"Global thermal nuclear war..."

Ah, War Games. :D

[SoulMusic121]

The slyness of Mike's "It's wild rice!" is what killed me.

[Suzumiyagirl01]

"If you cant do the time, dont do the crime.....Dont DO IT!" LOL

[chazimo12]

"Flying fish! Burne..."

[nakedirohtime007]

43 people are little baby air-breathers:D

[legocashboy2010]

don't do the crime if you can't do the time, don't do it

[crazyislandchick]

Little baby thinks he's breathing air? Little baby air breather.

[ColonelHoraldo]

Y'know, before I saw this movie I had no idea there was a matial art called 'drunken boxing.'

[2ndbase21325]

43 people have youtube videos of themselves acting out this scene...

[TheSmartGuy45]

3:20-3:38 fail



[DRisLegend200919]

these guys are hilarious

[a2redneck]

00:47 on the computer screen when they are listing all the moves, one of them said "drunken boxing". did i see that right? it sounds like fun!

[DarkenedPsycho]

@a2redneck It's a real style, a really old one, a mixture of boxing but strangely the moves all done with a drunken style, hence the name, don't ask I'm confused too lol.

[a2redneck]

@DarkenedPsycho LOL give me a bottle of Jim Beam and let try this drunken boxing!

[SageVallant]

@a2redneck Yes, it's a real martial art. Sadly, the secret is only to appear drunk, not actually BE drunk.

[a2redneck]

@SageVallant ah, i get it. Get your enemy to under-estimate you.

[transdrole]

Mike and Kevin, your commentary was useless and irritating. Fail.

[belladonna4577]

"good!"

mike-wait, i mean terrible! XD

[PaperbackWizard]

Oh boy, he's Hudsuckering!

[limbdarkening]

I wonder how many crazy people saw this movie and then 'freed their mind' off a building.

[godbluffvdgg]

His pants are filled with 1's and 0's

[chrissphinx]

wow are you shitting me, some of these kids dunno what MST3K is? guess the next generation is full of retarded newbs

[Dogman36]

did anyone else notice "DRUNKEN BOXING"?

[MrQZWarrior]

BRUCE LEE BOOGER FLICK!

[gopconservative78]

The best line ever @ 1:12

[robs104]

@cieranjamesburt Yes but it takes a true whiny bitch to cry about someone doing a hilarious voice-over. Stow it you humorless fanboy.

[cieranjamesburt]

What is this shit. Anyone can talk crap over a movie.

[BLahgeek]

Little baby air-breather

[SICK2210]

40 people don't know kung fu

[DRisLegend200919]

morpheus rules and so does this vid

[SvitjodsWarrior]

"and i will counter whit a fruity ballerina pose"

[heythisislauren]

little baby air breather lmao

[2009izemay]

why the extra talking with the video?

[banananer16]

first a massive spazz attack, then i will counter with a fruity ballerina pose

[11033066099]

whats the song that starts playin when the fight starts?? and what fighting styles are they using?

[bandman232]

@11033066099 Well, the style is Drunken Boxing I think.

[putzthewondersloth]

Could they load his head with acting?

[pittland44]

@putzthewondersloth They're not God, don't expect something miraculous. Sure they make keanu reeves fly with CG, but we don't have the technology to embue him with virtual acting.

[Mst3kfanatic1]

one question to the two guys....why the hell are you arguing politics on rifftrax

[kfetter16]

free orgasm with every lesson! where do i sign up?

[dwayne0t]

Kevin Murphy is at once the most irritating and funniest riff voice ever.

[FrostbittenWolf]

"The body cannot live without the mind."

I dunno. It never seemed to stop Sarah Palin.

[Halo4Lyf]

@FrostbittenWolf You've expended your one allocated Mindless Jon Stewart Talking Point Regurgitation for the week. Are you satisfied with the venue in which you chose to use it?

[FrostbittenWolf]

@Halo4Lyf

Interesting euphemism you chose for a statement of fact. Even more interesting that you think i'm in the wrong area for insulting conservative politicians when the Rifftrax guys insult Ron Paul and Dick Cheyne all the time.

[Halo4Lyf]

@FrostbittenWolf Didn't express any opinion of the kind. Just asked if you were satisfied with the venue of your Leftist Clapping Seal Routine.

[FrostbittenWolf]

@Halo4Lyf

Leftist clapping seal? Cute!

Now i bet $20 that you couldn't correctly identify a leftist if he was about to rip your balls off. Go ahead, pick a leftist holding a major elected office right now.

[Halo4Lyf]

@FrostbittenWolf Other than our esteemed Chief Executive, President Jug Ears? Ummm... Bernie Sanders. Actual, card-carrying socialist Senator from Vermont. I imagine that my definition of "leftist" is vastly different from yours though.

[FrostbittenWolf]

@Halo4Lyf

Ooh, thanks for playing but you got it WRONG.

Obama isn't a leftist, he's a "Can't we all just get along" grade spineless moderate who wouldn't stand up for anything important unless he was paid to do so. You were right about the Democratic Socialist, but one in two right is still a failing grade. But you did better in most, some people honestly believe Obama is from Kenya and is a Muslim.

[Halo4Lyf]

@FrostbittenWolf Obama was involved in the group called Progressive Chicago, a sister organization of the socialist New Party. Obama even ran in the Democrat primary for Illinois State Senate under the New Party in 1996.

He is a card-carrying leftist. You are right, however, in saying that he's spineless. He's never lived in the real world or experienced any resistance in the political realm, since he'd been handed everything in his life before now due to race and political affiliations.

[FrostbittenWolf]

@Halo4Lyf

They issue cards that say your a leftist? Why didn't anyone tell me?! All i have is this ACLU card, i was never given a card saying "Democratic Socialist." Where can i get one?

That joke aside, it doesn't really matter what you claim to support or what you've been accused of supporting. Actions speak louder than words, and Obama killed any hopes of being remembered as a real leftist when he suggested that we spread the influence of the Patriot Act.

[Halo4Lyf]

@FrostbittenWolf I agree, Obama is a complete pansy. Thank God for that, too. Otherwise, things might really suck right now. State of Disobedience by Tom Kratman suck, I mean.

[FrostbittenWolf]

@Halo4Lyf

It's hard to find comfort when i see Palin's actions though. The alternative to this half-assed moderate is a complete retard who actively wants to destroy what little credibility our country holds on to by making it official that the U.S Constitution ONLY applies to U.S citizens and therefore we have a right to torture non-Americans.

...damn we need some real leaders instead of politicians whose defining actions all stem from dishonesty and corruption, Democrats and Republicans alike

[Halo4Lyf]

@FrostbittenWolf Sorry, no dice. You seem to think that we're operating from the same set of values, world-view, or basic assumptions.

I think Palin is one of the best things that could happen to us (and yes, I happen to agree with torture but I'm a extremist on the issue). I think she's the cure for the corruption that is Leftism, and the spinelessness of the Establishment GOP, considering that she did both while in state government in Alaska.

Just why do you think she's a "retard" pray tell?

[FrostbittenWolf]

@Halo4Lyf

Quick question.

WHY?! Torture is not an effective means of gathering information, its against our own laws, and it ruins what little credibility our country has when we torture innocents. It seems as though it's a lose-lose situation, so why advocate it?

Oh... what i meant by retarded? I mean subtle clues like the fact that she only regurgitates talking points but NEVER ACTUALLY PROVIDES ANYTHING OF SUBSTANCE.

Oh, one more question.

What leftism?

[Halo4Lyf]

@FrostbittenWolf Hey, I'll respond to you by private message. I have too much to say and I just realized that we've been arguing politics on a rifftrax video. Seems impolite somehow.

[Mst3kfanatic1]

@Halo4Lyf well your right there..its not impolite but when people like to read the comments to see what riff was the best i dont think they want to read this stupid argument

[Mst3kfanatic1]

@FrostbittenWolf "ruins what little credibility our country has" how dare you talk about america like that...get the hell out

[FrostbittenWolf]

@Mst3kfanatic1

Fuck you, i won't do what you tell me!

I'm screwing around. Can you correctly guess what song i just made a reference to? Answer correctly and i'll tell you the answer to life, the universe, and everything.

[Mst3kfanatic1]

@FrostbittenWolf i could give a damn to what song your referencing and even if you screw around i dont i was serious

[Mst3kfanatic1]

@FrostbittenWolf yes but we like them and their funny so we let it slide

[Vasquez88]

"He's Hudsuckering."

hahaha

[NumOneJoeJonasLuver]

Dude this is my favorite scene in The Matrix!!! And I love RiffTrax!!! Thanks for posting this!! :D

[trekkie627]

"....and I will counter with a fruity ballerina pose"

[grnhair2001]

your weakness is not your technique

It's your bone-shattering stupidity

lmao

[bigd7pper]

Come to bed honey.

[therealKINDLE]

What a shit film.

[LouisLambert]

2:13-2:15 epic win

[nookdew]

No fair Morpheus is a fifth grader. Made me laugh my ass off

[glovisy]

"MAKE 'EM LAUGH!"

Great allusion to Master Ninja,

which was a great allusion to ... Singing in the Rain, right?

[ransom22]

Nice Flying Circus reference!!

[Theo1234567890ftw]

"Good!"

"Wha- wait I mean terrible!"

Hahaha

[Kentkillmore]

"No fair! Morpheus is a fifth grader!"

[LogInAnders]

Keanu Reeves is stupid. Hope he loses all his money on gambling, that would be good.

[Pwa08]

global thermonuclear war love the war games movie reference

[PaperbackWizard]

"Your problem is not your technique ... it's your bone-shattering stupidity."

[thefast777]

Like watching the movie with my grandparents sitting behind me !!!

[asaf92]

What's the "your body can't live without the mind" thing?

[terrachan]

@asaf92

They do that to make sure the audio is properly synced with the movie.

[Valkryies]

"I can only show you the door. You're the one who has to walk through it."

"Oh, but don't let the cat out."

Ironic, considering the deja-vu-cat later in the movie :P

[Rawk4Life]

You do know that they watched the film all the way through once so that they could properly time their jokes when they watched it a second time, right? If they riffed it during their first screeening, they could have interrupted a key point in the story line or dialogue by accident.

[Rawk4Life]

By the way, when Mike says "this is the first time I've seen this, now you've ruined it for me," that was a joke intended to fool the listener into thinking that the commentators can properly time their jokes upon first screening.

[perplacymp]

"I will counter with the "fruity-ballerina" pose!".

"Bugger-flick."

Reminds me of "the many names of Hank Drinkslot"

[aah8224]

Little baby air breather...

[Boolglunk]

"Hmm?"

"Huh?"

"Hm..."

heheh

[im5150247]

"A flying-fish,BURNE!! XD

[PaperbackWizard]

"Your weakness is not your technique ... it's your bone-shattering stupidity."

"Morpheus is fighting Neo."

"No fair! Morpheus is a fifth-grader!"

[PyrozPlayground]

Be you are. You are what you is! HAHA!

[ondinegreen]

@PyrozPlayground You is what you am. A cow don't make ham.

[AL52Dragon]

From 1:57 to 2:04 that isn't Keanu Reeves, that's Tom Cruise! You're not fooling anyone Wachowski Brothers!

[Rawk4Life]

So Tom Cruise put on a Keanu Reeves mask and pretended to be Neo for 7 seconds of the movie. Is that the best you can come up with?

[AL52Dragon]

@Rawk4Life No, maybe Keanu was sick that day. And Tom Cruise stepped in. I don't know. He just looks like Tom Cruise. Got it?

[Rawk4Life]

That's not Tom Cruise you see ok?

[AL52Dragon]

@Rawk4Life Are you blind? I said he LOOKS like Tom Cruise, ie. there is a strong resemblance Between Keanu Reeves in that shot and Tom Cruise. I know for all that is holy and evil that it isn't him, but it damn well looks like it. You see ok?

[Rawk4Life]

You're the one who is blind if you can't distinguish between Tom Cruise and Keanu Reeves.

[AL52Dragon]

@Rawk4Life This is where I give up. I'm done. I know for the love of God that it IS IN FACT KEANU REEVES portraying Thomas"Neo" Anderson, NOT TOM CRUISE. BUT THERE IS AN INCREDIBLE SIMILARITY BETWEEN THE TWO IN THE TIMEFRAME I MENTIONED IN MY ORIGINAL POST. It's called humor. I was making a sort of "joke" about how Keanu Reeves looked like Tom Cruise for a little bit. I KNOW IT ISN'T TOM CRUISE!!! I KNOW!!!! got it?

[Rawk4Life]

I'm glad you're giving up because the joke wasn't even funny to begin with.

[bastianskaye]

@AL52Dragon

hehehe. symmetrical clones.

[AL52Dragon]

"And I will counter with a fruity ballerina pose."

"And, when you eat your Smarties, do you eat the red ones last? Do you suck them very slowly, do you crunch them very fast? Hit me with your rythym stick! Hit me slowly, hit me quick! Hit me!"

[devindenman]

@AL52Dragon I appreciate your detail to both spelling and accuracy to the actual quote. It's very rare.

[ChaoticYak]

Little baby thinks he's breathing air, huh? Baby air breather.

[eyeoftheworld]

It works well over movies with poor/cheesy writing and acting (which this trilogy oozes with).

[Manik2Magik]

Doesn't work so well over a good movie.

[SavageVandar]

Actually it does, but then this wasn't a good movie anyway.

[Manik2Magik]

@SavageVandar

No way you didn't like this movie. Everybody liked this movie!

[SavageVandar]

There is no such thing as a movie that EVERYBODY liked. I liked this movie better when it was the only one, but then the lousy sequels came out and as a result, this movie is diminished as well.

[HerrSchenkel]

I just try to pretend that the 2 sequels were made.

[Cekil1]

Yeah, everybody liked the fighting and stuff. If you can find ONE person who liked the acting and "plot" I'll buy all your alcoholic beverages for the rest of your life.

[Manik2Magik]

@Cekil1

You are not better than the people who made this movie, deal with it.

[Cekil1]

I never said that so what's your point?

[silentbob8201]

@Manik2Magik The Trannie and the Fatman?

[LocaLaura3000]

Show him the door, show him the door!

[jdegerman]

Ha! I like the 'Singin' In the Rain' reference! :-)

[jjws]

little baby air breather lol!

[VegetoStevieD]

why do they just download that rule-bending/breaking shit into his brain with all the kung fu lessons?

[jonservo]

because its a crap movie full of plot holes, thats why lol

[LadyOtacon]

After Morpheus's speech and 3:98, I thought that Kevin would've said " It's Because you are Cowboy Kurtis"

[cemarz]

"now come at me with that banana"

I love it, a reference to Monty Python's episode Self-Defense Against Fruit

[ThePurpleSpartan]

@cemarz I thought when Morpheus said to free your mind, one of them would say "then release the tiger."

[bastianskaye]

"I can only show you the door. You're the one who has to walk through it. "

But don't let the cat out.

[tetavo]

hilarious! i wish they'd still do the shadorama thing, though :(

[bassamry]

4:05

[cerealmouse]

♫"Make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh - be a clown, flip around, kick a guy, make him cryyyyy!"♫

"I was waiting for the special effects to kick in."

"Hah, sure, wreck the tatami! Now you'll have to go back to Pier 1."

"Ah, there's his compulsory 'whoa'."

[b0rks]

the commentaries almost made me shit myself..

[briani4735263]

"You that's air you're breathing now?"

'It's wild rice.'

"Fistfuls of joints come flying out of his pockets!!!"

"Don't think you are. Know you are."

'Be you are! You are what you is.'

"I know what you're trying to do."

'You're trying to make me fall in love with you.'

"Pants are filled with zeros and ones now."

These guys are brilliant :)

[hollyhuffstutler]

"Everybody falls the first time, right shrink (?)" "No, I'm empty space"

[theZodiacDigital]

he's saying trin, like trinity.

[hollyhuffstutler]

Ah, I see

[Adamgontierfan19]

"When you eat your smarties do you eat the red ones last do you suck them very slowly do you suck them very fast"

"Hit me with your rythym stick hit me slowly hit me quick hit me hit me"

Kevin Murphy should do a riff of Sweeney Todd since he's got such a great singing voice and he already does so many music jokes I think he should do the riff with Mary Jo Pehl since Mary's done riffs with Mike and Bill already anyone agree?

[TangomanX2008]

"So little baby thinks he is breathing air, huh?"

[Adamgontierfan19]

"Little baby air breather"

[Adamguy2003]

Oh yeah!

I could totally see Mary Jo Pehl riffing Mrs. Lovett!

[Adamgontierfan19]

Good to know I'm not the only one that thinks that would be funny

[NiceGuyKeath]

Funniest part of the whole clip.

[xxbathorygrlxx]

"how did i beat you?"

"quite soundly thank you"

lmao

[kkatkkong]

Only problem with RiffTrax is they try to riff on GOOD movies sometimes. I'd prefer more MST3K, so scifi crap like Twilight is torn up...

[TheStapleGunKid]

I like it when they riff on good movies. It shows that even good films have a lot of silly aspects that are easy to make fun of.

Also they can be easier to watch. Some MST3K films are so bad they are hard to watch even with Mike and the bots.

[dayatthehouse]

I beg to differ. They took a new approach. And they do a heck of a job. If you notice, on good ones they don't really point out bad writing moments or production mistakes, they aim at character interactions and off-topic references. That throws in randomness and necessary humor. Like the old days, they make fun of music. Plus, they pretty much did all the old, crappy public domain stuff. However, since you say GOOD, they do BAD. Watch "The Happening" and you will die laughing.

[kkatkkong]

I know they do the bad stuff, I just prefer the cynical humor, where the gang are obviously not escaping into the film and are stuck tearing apart the production values and direction. I loved the Twilight RiffTrax, and there are plenty of movies of equal or (somehow) greater stupidity for them to riff upon. Megan's Body, or anything from Diablo Cody, comes to mind.

But I'm just happy to have any kind of movie-riffing humor, I guess. :)

[Lisztlovers]

Amazing'

[tiggathetiger]

No fair! Morphieous (spelled wrong) is a fifth grader!

Hahahahahahaha! I dyed right there.

[UndyingSimmons]

Damn they even got a Bra Size 45 lyric in there. I need a new pair of pants.

[phxsns1]

I can only show you the door. You're the one who has to walk through it.

But don't let the cat out. lol

[WaywornIVImmmm]

I thought it was Monty Python.

[phxsns1]

Self Defense Against Fresh Fruit actually.

[scopeophile]

funniest part for me has to be ....

'how did I beat you?'

'Quite soundly thank-you'

Oh mucho mirth on that one - oh yes!

[Lftis4me]

I can't believe how hard I laughed! I was trying to hold it in so that I'd hear everything else!

[MadisonTheHedgehog91]

then why did u watch this? hm?

[BigEasyWinger]

LOL @ the whistling!!!