Stephen Colbert in Congress (5/9): Stephen Colbert's Opening Statement (2010)

[AndrewChan84]

5 stars for Colbert!

[imakez4u]

After watching this woman lawyer refuse to answer a straight question.... It makes me continue to believe that lawyers by the very education that makes them Lawyers are unfit to do any task that requires some truth and honesty....

Lawyers manipulate the simple truth into something confusing and cloudy and difficult to understand.

[wnedyro]

john conyers zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[bluchismoon]

Why won't she answer the question? We already heard what she had to say in her opening statement, now we just need her to answer a yes or no question.

[bestrainingtechnique]

the people of michigan should be embarrassed! john conyers is a complete Jerk!. what an ignorant and demeaning SOB! Colbert makes him look like an ass in the other video

[aneroph]

John Conyers is so old he can barely talk. Why are we electing these people into office? Obviously they have lost touch with reality. I dream of a government full of Colberts and Jon Stewarts that can see the problems and bills for what they really are, explain them to people in plain english, and stay in touch with the changing times. Alas, America will never change though.

[WoodyStrokerCat]

Vote for Colbert and Cain tomorrow!

[kaimisawesome]

Why couldn't the first 2 speak as clearly and to the point like Rodriguez and Colbert?

[dogpa92]

9:24 WTF? Your phone couldn't wait? Rude.

[probrojeffro]

Why are these people so uptight? They invited him. What did they think? He was going to NOT be funny?

[probrojeffro]

05:52 Mr. King is harsh. 

[probrojeffro]

Why is it that Arturo is the only one I can listen to. I'm a college professor, and one of the things I despise is intellectuals going over heads or talking excessively where brevity and simplicity would enable not disable communication, like it so often does.

[xMraMonkx]

@probrojeffro i enjoy this statement very much big words are not as important as people think simplicity is much better not only so we can understand it much easier but because whats the point of confusing people who dont understand. Abe Lincoln followed this idea and was a great president partly because of it

[mantronickilldozer]

i want to have sex with carol swain

[mcapps1]

congress iz seeruz bidness

[ishouldbedoinghw88]

rodriguez makes a good point. immigrants do serve a purpose, and though we may hate to admit it, they fill a gap in our economy where mike rowe wouldn't even go.

[granolanutpunch]

Conyers is a clueless old loud mouth who's too rich and privileged to have any connection to the minority groups he tells himself he represents... kinda like a rich old white guy who tells himself he's down because he owned a jazzy Jeff CD in his 30's.

[Abonanno24601]

@granolanutpunch remember, he's married to Monica Conyers, who's in jail.

[granolanutpunch]

@Abonanno24601 Figures.

[Abonanno24601]

@granolanutpunch yeah, Monica Conyers was working side by side with Kwame Kilpartrick (the disgraced mayor of Detroit) I think she got something like 5 or 10 years. The people of Detroit and the Detroit metro area all think that she is a piece of shit. Thats all the news talked about for 5 years is Monica Conyers, Kwame Kilpatrick, and that whore Kwame was fucking behind his wifes back. He now lives in Dallas TX but soon will be going to jail. Can't wait for that day to come.

[granolanutpunch]

@Abonanno24601 That'd be nice. Of course I doubt there's many politicians that don't deserve to be in jail. All these bastards are bought by lobbyists.

I just signed up with the American populist party since one of their platforms is to legally separate business and government.

Total long shot but it's about the only solution I think will do jack to fix the mess our system is in.

[3rw42]

@granolanutpunch Really? He asked a pretty damn simple question and could not get an answer out of the woman.

He may be arrogant and privileged but it's a pretty simple question: Was the man you referenced not getting the money from banks or government because his idea of hiring Americans (African Americans) was simply not profitable (because of higher wages/labor costs)?

The answer should be similar to one of the following: Yes, no, I don't know (with an explanation for each response).

[granolanutpunch]

@3rw42 U talkin to me? I don't see the comment of mine that you're responding to.

[pkingsleyisback]

my god his BALLS are so big!

[SPARTICUS4LIFE]

tl:dw

[nosrep09]

who misheard "the black caucus" as something else ;) ??

[Simbelmyne13]

Laugh you god damn sourpusses!

[batmanownsyourass]

You know, after watching this I can see why intelligent people do not want to be in Congress. It's too damn boring. I'd rather do 15 pages of calculations then listen to these stupid mother fuckers.

[batmanownsyourass]

Tony Stark on CSPAN was better,

[batmanownsyourass]

Did anyone actually watch the full video?

[niall922]

@WyldePhoxProductions no 'authorized citizens' want to do them fucking jobs do they? only the illegal worker are willing to do them jobs so what would be good is to make the unauthorized workers, authorized workers

[dalightspeed79]

"Breaks into a cold sweat in front of a salad bar" LMFAO Stephen is awesome.

[RayWilliamJohansen]

XD stephen colbert is such an asshole

love this guy

[ohdannyboy10]

I think it's hilarious how some dumbass republicans think Colbert is being serious

Hahaha

[fredotron]

0:45 thats what milking apparatuses are for noob technology ftw

[TehFrohMan]

5:51 Obviously not a Colbert fan.

[YukapiWurumi]

@TehFrohMan Steve King? lmao, you're right, I hadn't noticed that enthusiastic face before. He proves himself to be rather impressively incomprehensible and prickish later on in the hearing much more clearly.

[FoolishInTheEnd]

If only i was there i would seriously LMAO

[thadea]

The question of if they are illegal and how much they are paid is not resolved here

[walkertexasranger33]

the guy behind stephens right shoulder is a total weirdo

[chinesrfunny]

@walkertexasranger33 thats his writer

[mdiddy62]

good shit

[dewinthemorning]

It's refreshing to hear irony and sarcasm, bringing home the point, in Congress.

[batmanownsyourass]

@dewinthemorning As opposed to straight lies and doublespeak?