In John Turturro's defence, no one first looks at Megan Fox and thinks "Protect the innocent schoolgirl." They think, "Why the fuck is a teenager being played by a 35 year old stripper who's eaten too many carrots?" If anyone's to blame, it's Michael Bay never letting an opportunity slip by in the script to showcase his olympic obnoxiousness.
I know it's easy to miss the fact that they guy is there because it only shows him standing in there most of the time in the wide area shots of the whole group. And aside from asking why Earth, which is shoot from his side with the camera focused on the boy as if some "extra" were asking it, he doesn't really say anything so it's easy to miss that he's there.
I grew up a fan of original transformers show and was looking forward to the movie but like you was disappoint by the story.
I like listening to you reviews and for the most part I agree with you. On this one however I have to point out an error you made.
When you say the Army guy sudden sides with the boy even though they have never been in the same room together that's not true. That guy was with them the whole time one the "tour" of Section 7 and even asked why they came to Earth which is when the boy explains about the all spark. So the boy as it was does show that he has a bit of knowledge over the others there.
I agree with CM about the humour. The "jokes" are not simply unfunny, they're not actually jokes. Characters who say meaningless things that make no sense is not a joke, it's just weird.
This comment has received too many negative votesshow
Are you serious? do you really overanalyze this movie so much, that you have to freak out about a joke about the taco bell dog? yes the dog has not been around for a while but that does not mean that the joke is unfunny... also the fact that you bash this humor and disliked it does not make it bad humor, it means you yourself dis-liked it. I personally found it hilarious. the only thing i agree with you about this film is the taking the allspark to the city comment. terrible review.
The tacobell dog remark wasn't really a joke. The character was just saying that the dog fit in the fishy scene, and he was characterizing it with something easier said than chiwawa.
Criminals are hot?... Man it's amazing how I don't remember lines like that. Must be a defence mechanism. Don't you work for the government? So no criminals are NOT hot, they are to be arrested and thrown in jail you useless turd! Obviously section 7 is in charge of traffic control.
If you want to know what good writing is like when applied to the Transformers franchise, take a look at Beastwars. Sure, it was a show for kids, but the story writing, direction and character development were light years beyond that of most, even in spite of Hasbro's micromanaging idiocy.
It's sad how a kids show could actually be better then a high budget Hollywood production.
Even sadder how people in Hollywood forgot that content actually matters.
Matt, if you would like to know what a serious well done story about giant robots would be like there are plenty of anime examples. Believe me it can be done. The transformers movies did not need a single ounce of humor (let alone really bad not funny humor) to be good.
Thanks for another great illuminating review. Though in the case of transformers it illuminated a bigger pile of shit then I originally thought.
Yeah, I don't particularly like giant robots, but two of my favorite animes are The Big O and Evangelion.
That said, I don't know if Americans have gotten it right at all. Transformers and Power Rangers are the only American movies I can think of with giant robots in them.
Did you ever figure out that Big O was actually a holodeck stuck in an endless loop, and anytime a character finds an exit, they are overcome with fear? Only on rare occasion did we see true outsiders in the show.
That's unfortunate to hear CM isn't fond of anime. Especially Standinstann and coming to understand he soon came to loathe it because someone introduced him to an awful one... I guess I understand, that would be like me getting annoyed with Trek lately with the Enterprise prequel and ST 09 movie. Ever offered those two like Death Note? Fullmetal Alchemist? Maybe Gundam 00. Those three are though provocative, character developed, great plots...etc
I don't recall what show turned Stan off to Anime, but the particular instance can be summed up to some guy spending fifteen minutes talking about a move he's going to do. And if you watch Anime, you have to agree that such is a common theme. It may be entertaining, but its not for everyone.
I imagine I could get them to watch one, but I wouldn't try unless it were something that I was absolutely certain they would enjoy, which to be honest, would be hard to find. Especially for TV series.
"Fifteen minutes talking about a move he's going to do" is generally limited to anime based on a long-running manga series (e.g. One Piece, Naruto, Bleach, DragonballZ), though. Considering those to be emblematic of all anime is as stupid as considering soap operas to be emblematic of all western live action TV, because anime isn't a genre in any way.
Incidentally, best giant robot series ever? Megas XLR.
I think that kid who thought that robot was the tooth fairy was retarted, I mean if I ever saw a thing like that in my backyard, I'd piss my pance, and run away screaming my ass off.
Well, good that your done with the review. Just proves how bad film Director Bay is. What was good about it was maybe the CGI Action scenes, but Bay did not make that, ILM did. ILM was behind the newer Star Wars movies (Not Clone Wars) by the way.
One thing I don't understand is that if the all spark gives life, how did it kill Megatron? Maybe I missed something, but it doesn't make sense to me.
You actually sounded like you didn't like this movie at all, even thought you said you did in the first part of the review. Great job anyways, do you plan on reviewing the second movie? I thought it was worse than the first one.
The first time I saw this movie I thought WTF they're taking the cube to the city??? This is a textbook example of what has happened to movie making today. The writers wanted to have the last fighting scene in the city rather than, say, a desert, so they just took the characters there for no reason and hoped nobody would notice. Well, you know what, fuck this! It kind of reminds me this: "He left me on this planet to watch the destruction of Vulcan..."
In John Turturro's defence, no one first looks at Megan Fox and thinks "Protect the innocent schoolgirl." They think, "Why the fuck is a teenager being played by a 35 year old stripper who's eaten too many carrots?" If anyone's to blame, it's Michael Bay never letting an opportunity slip by in the script to showcase his olympic obnoxiousness.
TheConciseStatement 1 year ago
"She's a criminal. Criminals zare hawt!"
vekka220 1 year ago
cont....
I know it's easy to miss the fact that they guy is there because it only shows him standing in there most of the time in the wide area shots of the whole group. And aside from asking why Earth, which is shoot from his side with the camera focused on the boy as if some "extra" were asking it, he doesn't really say anything so it's easy to miss that he's there.
I grew up a fan of original transformers show and was looking forward to the movie but like you was disappoint by the story.
PyroMancer2k 1 year ago
I like listening to you reviews and for the most part I agree with you. On this one however I have to point out an error you made.
When you say the Army guy sudden sides with the boy even though they have never been in the same room together that's not true. That guy was with them the whole time one the "tour" of Section 7 and even asked why they came to Earth which is when the boy explains about the all spark. So the boy as it was does show that he has a bit of knowledge over the others there.
PyroMancer2k 1 year ago
Would this movie still classify as a guilty pleasure for you if the story were five times worse? If not, skip the sequel altogether.
RagingBalto 2 years ago
i laugh my ass off at this. i hope you get over 700,000 view at your website
monet247pimpin 2 years ago
CRIMINALS ARE HOT!!! LOL
that line was just so random that i burst out laughing at the cinema during that scene
MrTvoreo 2 years ago
I take it then ConfusedMatthew you'll be reviewing Transformers 2 with no joy lol
MrGre3n66 2 years ago
you actually did a really bad job on this review.
you seemed really off.
off on your critics and your regular charm.
but you have to have bad reviews. It makes you.... a critic
RillyMonsterZero 2 years ago
I agree with CM about the humour. The "jokes" are not simply unfunny, they're not actually jokes. Characters who say meaningless things that make no sense is not a joke, it's just weird.
GrandDizzy 2 years ago 2
I actually enjoyed this one. The sequel, which I saw last night however, is BEYOND AWFUL. I would love to see Matt's take on it!
Danny77uk 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Are you serious? do you really overanalyze this movie so much, that you have to freak out about a joke about the taco bell dog? yes the dog has not been around for a while but that does not mean that the joke is unfunny... also the fact that you bash this humor and disliked it does not make it bad humor, it means you yourself dis-liked it. I personally found it hilarious. the only thing i agree with you about this film is the taking the allspark to the city comment. terrible review.
babytrunks2 2 years ago
The tacobell dog remark wasn't really a joke. The character was just saying that the dog fit in the fishy scene, and he was characterizing it with something easier said than chiwawa.
ManThatSeesMovies 2 years ago
Do they bring they back the allspark in the new movie?
danxtur 2 years ago
Kind of. But it's contrived.
Danny77uk 2 years ago
Why a poor comment? Anyway it just sound dume to put the Allspark in the new movie.
danxtur 2 years ago
Yeah Transformers fans just dont like that someone saying that this movie is not logicly not good
danxtur 2 years ago
mfmfer mfrrtjrkflkejp
Sloth7d 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
The bashing on this movie's humor has gone way over the top. How is you yelling "THAT'S NOT FUNNY" suppose to be funny...
see what I just did there?
y4ngel 2 years ago
I don't see what you just did there
ManThatSeesMovies 2 years ago
Unless of course he wasn't joking.
Hankatu 2 years ago
I see what you did there.
It was very clever...
ImSamSamIm 2 years ago
This movie is great!......if you listen to it on mute.
TheMovieGodIsHere 2 years ago
No no no, you want to hear all the crashes and explosions!
You want to switch the audio to some language you don't understand, that will make the movie REALLY awesome.
marscaleb 2 years ago 2
Sure hope you can do the next movie one day!
danxtur 2 years ago
Criminals are hot?... Man it's amazing how I don't remember lines like that. Must be a defence mechanism. Don't you work for the government? So no criminals are NOT hot, they are to be arrested and thrown in jail you useless turd! Obviously section 7 is in charge of traffic control.
MikeRyu 2 years ago 5
great review matthew. I agree.
Darkknightrules92 2 years ago
CRIMINALS ARE HOT!!!
islanumblar 2 years ago
Confused Matthew, are you the tooth fairy?
marscaleb 2 years ago 4
LMMFAO :))
confusedmatthew 2 years ago
Yes. Yes, he is.
kranktank 2 years ago
I hope he reviews and compares transformers to robot jox
toadenk 2 years ago
Stand In Stan is starting to sound a lot like you Matthew. When are you going to admit that he's your CLONE?
kranktank 2 years ago 4
He already knows he's a clone. I talked to them about this YEARS ago.
(And that's honest-to-God true.)
marscaleb 2 years ago
Yup :)
confusedmatthew 2 years ago
Its his twin brother
Obasiliasfilosofos 2 years ago
Which makes him of course, a complete genetic clone.
But all the science-fiction idiot-writers still seem to think that a clone would be exactly like the original.
I think it's stuff like that that has made him so keen into spotting blatant errors in stories that most folks miss.
marscaleb 2 years ago
If you want to know what good writing is like when applied to the Transformers franchise, take a look at Beastwars. Sure, it was a show for kids, but the story writing, direction and character development were light years beyond that of most, even in spite of Hasbro's micromanaging idiocy.
It's sad how a kids show could actually be better then a high budget Hollywood production.
Even sadder how people in Hollywood forgot that content actually matters.
FlowCell 2 years ago 2
Okay... Is it wrong that I laughed at the 'flu-like symptoms' line? I'm asking a serious question here.
just64helpin 2 years ago
Well if you were laughing at shitty that line was.
civilwarfare101 2 years ago
I may have laughed as well lol
islanumblar 2 years ago
No no, the line easily seems random, so you could laugh at it.
But the problem is that were it appears is not a place where you are prepared for such humor. It actually seemed funny in the context of this video.
marscaleb 2 years ago
This movie was GARBAGE.
WECENANUFF 2 years ago 3
Matt, if you would like to know what a serious well done story about giant robots would be like there are plenty of anime examples. Believe me it can be done. The transformers movies did not need a single ounce of humor (let alone really bad not funny humor) to be good.
Thanks for another great illuminating review. Though in the case of transformers it illuminated a bigger pile of shit then I originally thought.
micronoid 2 years ago
Is the gundam series a good anime example?
civilwarfare101 2 years ago
Yeah, I don't particularly like giant robots, but two of my favorite animes are The Big O and Evangelion.
That said, I don't know if Americans have gotten it right at all. Transformers and Power Rangers are the only American movies I can think of with giant robots in them.
SeventhHanyou 2 years ago
Did you ever figure out that Big O was actually a holodeck stuck in an endless loop, and anytime a character finds an exit, they are overcome with fear? Only on rare occasion did we see true outsiders in the show.
Oh, and Evangelion was awesome, too.
FlowCell 2 years ago
patlabor is really good too.
ryjinannon 2 years ago
Matthew is not a fan of anime.
There were a number of shows I wanted to get him to watch but he just wouldn't give it a chance.
Stand in Stan enjoyed some, for a while, until someone had him watch something really bad, and then he started hating it as much as his brother.
marscaleb 2 years ago
That's unfortunate to hear CM isn't fond of anime. Especially Standinstann and coming to understand he soon came to loathe it because someone introduced him to an awful one... I guess I understand, that would be like me getting annoyed with Trek lately with the Enterprise prequel and ST 09 movie. Ever offered those two like Death Note? Fullmetal Alchemist? Maybe Gundam 00. Those three are though provocative, character developed, great plots...etc
1mPeRcEpTiBlE 2 years ago 2
I don't recall what show turned Stan off to Anime, but the particular instance can be summed up to some guy spending fifteen minutes talking about a move he's going to do. And if you watch Anime, you have to agree that such is a common theme. It may be entertaining, but its not for everyone.
I imagine I could get them to watch one, but I wouldn't try unless it were something that I was absolutely certain they would enjoy, which to be honest, would be hard to find. Especially for TV series.
marscaleb 2 years ago
"Fifteen minutes talking about a move he's going to do" is generally limited to anime based on a long-running manga series (e.g. One Piece, Naruto, Bleach, DragonballZ), though. Considering those to be emblematic of all anime is as stupid as considering soap operas to be emblematic of all western live action TV, because anime isn't a genre in any way.
Incidentally, best giant robot series ever? Megas XLR.
lseths 2 years ago
Gungrave
Hyde1415 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Yes! Part 3! Good job, kid.
HRVDNT 2 years ago
Comment removed
HRVDNT 2 years ago
you are going to have fun with the second one
BigAlzo 2 years ago
Behold!
Im fucked up flipper baby!
WeirdJamFace 2 years ago
I think that kid who thought that robot was the tooth fairy was retarted, I mean if I ever saw a thing like that in my backyard, I'd piss my pance, and run away screaming my ass off.
theangrymoviedork 2 years ago
Well, good that your done with the review. Just proves how bad film Director Bay is. What was good about it was maybe the CGI Action scenes, but Bay did not make that, ILM did. ILM was behind the newer Star Wars movies (Not Clone Wars) by the way.
danxtur 2 years ago
Who's ILM?
civilwarfare101 2 years ago
Industrial Light and Magic. Well they do CGI
danxtur 2 years ago
industrial light and magic, special fx company.
revangal3 2 years ago
Industrial Light and Magic. It was founded by George Lucas.
FlowCell 2 years ago
Yeah! Glad you put that scene up matthew. I mean the "I am Megatron"
danxtur 2 years ago
I don't understand why this movie is popular,, or why it was even green lit.... No wait I do..
ManThatSeesMovies 2 years ago
One thing I don't understand is that if the all spark gives life, how did it kill Megatron? Maybe I missed something, but it doesn't make sense to me.
bsf95 2 years ago 3
People. HE ONLY LIKED IF FOR THE ACTION AND NOTHING ELSE. Open your ears when he's talking in Part 1.
daftrok 2 years ago 2
You actually sounded like you didn't like this movie at all, even thought you said you did in the first part of the review. Great job anyways, do you plan on reviewing the second movie? I thought it was worse than the first one.
FREAKFANATIC 2 years ago 4
The first time I saw this movie I thought WTF they're taking the cube to the city??? This is a textbook example of what has happened to movie making today. The writers wanted to have the last fighting scene in the city rather than, say, a desert, so they just took the characters there for no reason and hoped nobody would notice. Well, you know what, fuck this! It kind of reminds me this: "He left me on this planet to watch the destruction of Vulcan..."
snowman555555 2 years ago 8
Criminals are HOT!!! LOL
oreolvrsshane1987 2 years ago
ah so true
PS SOMEBODY REQUEST THAT HE REVIEW FREDDY GOT FINGERED.....that would be interesting
michaelpapa2 2 years ago
LULZ at that guy taking the thing into the city. What a fucking retard.
CENSOREDFORSEX 2 years ago 3
Great! :)
AlphaLuna 2 years ago
Cool.
bonecanoe86 2 years ago