30. Cemetery Man (1994) Monster Madness 2009 Review

[jmcieslak0]

"Also, there's zombies"

Anytime you say that while describing a film, it's gotta be pretty interesting.

[TheCrackerBrony]

Vertigo was an amazing movie

[evilgojiro]

i always watch it for the grim reaper

[TheRhuen]

The girlfriend wasn't killed by the zombie, she was still alive when he shot her. Alos you have to love the twist ending, he tries to leave the town, only to find that the world ends outside of town. yep he's dead, this is hell or limbo, nothing was real the whole time. So now he and his sidekick switch places (you get the impression this is a regular pattern of torment, forget, switch)

[MrIWHBYD]

@TheRhuen Fuck you, i wanted to watch the movie

[Kurostyle21]

Was I the only one who guessed Penisphobia right from the very beginning?

[TMSGameStudios]

Gahl looks like curley from the three stooges.

[eboromir]

She's Anna Falchi. Of course she's beautiful.

[MegaWowfreak101]

2:30 eh i like the one from conker better

[matttrevproductions]

oh my god, that penis thing bothered me so fucking much O_O

[matttrevproductions]

oh my god, that penis thing bothered me so fucking much O_O O_O

[fuckingfreak17]

lol i guessed it right what she was afraid for looooooooooooooooool

[NWNisFUN]

The super jesus fuckin tank is doing the intro voice

[Alaska1925]

How could he have sex with the first girl if he's impotent? What the fuck?

[trojan12kelley]

@Alaska1925 She must have been THAT hot to him, enough to give him time to do the deed

[Alaska1925]

@trojan12kelley LoL probably :)

[NaiveViewer]

I've heard they are going to be filming a sequel to this sometime soon.

[sanuer100]

pehiness nasty

[nanalinda4]

well to be fair james which you may have forgotten(not trying to bitch or troll here) but the dead rise after a certain amount of time which is 2 weeks but apparently this zombie came back early or somthing i havents seen the movie in a while so i maybe completly wrong so just disregard the comment if i am wrong .

[Deaderc]

HE IS NOT A GINGER he is a day walker :D

[Aidan880000]

You should at least get knocked out by anestithia if you get your penis cut off. And if you aren't unconscious well... Don't look at the guy cutting off your dick.

[Legion640]

A woman with the phobia of penis. You mind as well kill yourself if you're that woman.

[J5MARLON]

3:52 Gnarly:

Difficult, dangerous, or challenging.

[seth8079]

oh my fuckin god!!!! i was right about what she feared!!!

[thomas47856]

smrking not alowed SHUT Up!! BOOB

[inu2dope]

I seen this movie and let me tell you it is truely remarkable XD

[johnrock882]

Penisphobia. yeah.

[FlopperMax]

Watched this video twice and still dont get what he meant by not knowing which is true since he is referred to as impotent. Being impotent doesnt mean he doesnt have a dick, so he simply went to get his impotent cock removed, that's it, what's not to get here?

[Sektor350]

I just have to say this if u meet a girl that has that kind of phobia dont make the same mistake as this dumbass

[blueangeleyes16]

WTF

[QiXXiL]

IS YOUR DICK HARD RIGHT NOW MINE IS!!!!!

[simsdude45]

wtf



[MistaTamilan]

Nurse: smoking is not alowed he...

Man: Shutup *shoots woman in her eye*

Now that's fuckin boss

[dHeavyEchob]

a fear of penis's, so she's a lesbian

[LongDieseldog]

Holy shit! I just saw this movie and the fucking fat guy looks identical to Mike Matei! (Except fat)

[pocco13]

necorphelia

[asilum71]

anna falchi é una bellissima donna come monica bellucci...ma,come la nellucci non é assolutamente capaca di recitare!...attrici...sofia loren É un'attrice...non queste troie!

[asilum71]

dellamorte dellamore dal romanzo di tiziano sclavi,il creatore di dylan dog,straordinario fumetto ambientato a londra,dellamorte dellamore è citato in due episodi di dylan dog a uno é dedicato un intero episodio dal titolo" orrore nero"i produttori in difficoltá nel realizzare il film dylan dog optarono per dellamorte,usando Rupert Everett come protagonista.everett é l'ispirazione estetica per dylan dog.il film dylan dog fa cagare.

[damnittwice]

One of my favorite movies in horror is this one.

[gillharjot1996]

WTF was that...

[Gothmogable]

Even tho it's just a movie and totally not real... still pretty fucked up that they fuck on the husbands grave -.-

[rocmash]

worst movie chiche ever. people get shot in the head at close range and fall forwards. wtf. if you get shot anywhere your flying backwards.

[psplayer444]

Did you just call Anaconda crap? That film is a hallmark of American cinema tantamount to Gone With The Wind and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

[MaryHelsing]

A woman who's afraid of penises is basically a lesbian.

[TheVideoGamingGuru1]

Nurse: Sir, smoking is not allowed in he-

Franseco: SHUT UP!

*BANG!*

[theovaldes17]

Dicks

[WyczesanyBober]

Holy crap! What an awsome movie! Must watch it :D

[Rutagher]

this movie was surprisingly artful, almost poetic at some points

[TheNitFace]

WTF the girl in this movie is from finland lol

[nin10do4eve]

@TheNitFace hyvä itsenaisus paiva =)

[TheNitFace]

@nin10do4eve kiitos samoin :)

[mrboom1337]

SHUT UP *bang* O_O

[ChozoRidley]

Necrophilia FTW! 

[kinnikufan]

I saw this On Demand and the description made me wanna see it. The end is...well, fitting, I guess. Definitely a "What-The-FUCK!?" ending.

[Dillonquador]

The fat guy looks like curly from the three stooges.

[2Ttyz41O]

It's too bad this isn't played very much on cable. I saw it maybe once or twice.

[KeithWasHere1]

dude right through the eye....good shot!

[KeithWasHere1]

shoots her in the head? man fuck that1 zombie or not put a muzzle on the bitch and chain in her the doggystyle position!

[KeithWasHere1]

dude who the fuck leaves bone and shit all over the place...that place is a huge health code violation!

[KeithWasHere1]

the is a fantastic movie...really breaks the mold of a traditional horror film and shows a very...well fucked up movie!

[mynamemaycontainAtoZ]

UVE GOTTA HAVE THE BALLS TO WATCH THIS

[MRGAMERBOY62]

HOLY SHIT! NUN HEADSHOT

[BowserwithaShotgun]

Fact of life nerd, if the grim reaper comes to you and doesn't kill you but instead gives you some advice, FOLLOW IT WHETER IT MAKES SENSE OR NOT!!!

[ultimatesharpzilla]

YOU PUKED ON ME! HOW SWEET!

[max2082]

HOLY CHRIST This movie went beyond flew off the tracks it went in to a whole entire different dimension of trippy. O_O

[SammEater]

A Ginger Reaper? AWESOME! :P

[CheckdaFlow]

Next to monotomous you forgot BORING

[IxaoEclipse]

The Grim Reaper reminds me of Death from Terry Gilliam's film The Adventures of Baron Munchausen. Awesome movie.

[wajinBoy]

That Dude Reminds Me Of Curly Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck!

[huhabah]

Nun: BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH!

Guy: SHUT UP! (Boom headshot)

[xSUPERSONICx99]

Damn! That's an awesome looking Reaper!

[nicholasandre]

Her name is Anna Falchi

Your welcome :)

[megamario3247]

Guys, listen to the Reaper.

SHOOT EM' IN THE HEAD!!!

[farnium]

@megamario3247

That's odd, the same thing happens to me. . .well in my case the reaper is accompanied by the screaming floating head of my long dead grandmother.

[TheInferno7]

I've never seen this movie in English but listening to the bits of dialogue and the review to it the English dubbing seems to be extremely free style so no wonder the reviewer doesn't understand what's going on. Apart from that this is one of the best horror movies ever made.

[Rushgoon1]

hey, I think I saw this movie when I was younger... no wonder I'm fucked up

[SomeDudes455]

awesome grim reaper

[keymonk95]

holy shit that's an amazing reaper.

[kingkaiserish]

been fucked up if the husband turned zombie

[MaurizioM89]

i saw this movie when i was a kid, was awful as you can tell from the review ahahaha total bullshit.

Also anna falchi had the worst acting in this movie.

[SuperGameboy98]

he killed a nun wow O.O

[IcyNoodles4]

.... Did he just shoot a nun in the face?

[IamFnXtreme]

3:26.. who else Cringed?

[IcyNoodles4]

@IamFnXtreme ....yeah, yeah i did DX

[cacaenalmohada]

OMFG I GUESSED IT HAHAHHAHAHA

[killer3596]

I've always loved this movie. It has a scene that I'm pretty sure pays tribute to my favorite movie of all time, "Brazil". I like to watch it from the perspective that the "engineer" is insane and Gnaghi doesn't really exist. It's interesting how love takes three forms in one body for Francesco and how he can never gasp it. First she's angelic and intangible. Second she's the total rejection of sex, then finally she's the total acceptance of sex.

[MetroidFreak123]

@killer3596 oh ya ive heard of brazil. i would like to see it.

[warejaws]

is the film in english or in italian?

[Battle5tarRJC]

Is it just me or foes that women look like Jeri Ryan? It might just be me.

[zmarsella]

omfg the Reaper is...is....GINGER

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.­..

[aLevitatingPnut]

@zmarsella It would only make sense that the thing taking your soul doesn't have one.

[MonsterArrow]

@zmarsella makes sense.

[willoman182]

@zmarsella it is because he has no soul

[TheMariodies]

@willoman182 fuck you lucky charms

[Filexi]

@zmarsella The reaper is soul-less what did u excpect? x)

[TheStealthX]

I think Cemetary Man has to be one of my favourite horror movies! :D

[theunforgiven744]

review teeth james

[MetalKnuckles509]

@theunforgiven744 I'm guessing you like fucked up movies?

[hunkatiel]

The bumbling assistant looks like Curly from the 3 Stooges.

[ManticoreFire]

They should have just made a movie about that reaper. James said it right, that is one cool reaper.

[mikeJRthe2nd]

I think what Death is saying actually makes sense. In their world if people rise every seven days it means if he kills everyone once they can only die one more time.

[sugarkitty121]

Anyone else reminded of Dylan Dog and Felix? XD

[Rocky183]

James: "In Cemetery Man, it's the woman that has a fear of something. You wanna know what it is? Take a guess. What is it that she fears?"

Me: "Penis"

James: "Give up? It's penises"

Me: O.o

[yourmajesty90]

Where's Dylan Dog when you need him?

[MissRelleck]

Reminds me of Tomie, she always gets killed but comes back for a differant lover.

[flamingarse1]

lol the reaper just wanted more souls but i do think its interesting how he shoots people

[ComedyRoundTheCorner]

7.3 on IMDb...

[andoc]

Ah Italian horror. You just gotta love it (and I do), even the less known films like this one have something redeeming, either tits or nasty kills.

[LouisLeGros]

Hmm, was Jame's short film The Deader The Better inspired by this movie? Plot about cemetary workers who have to kill the dead that come back to life at night.

[Ryosuke0loquendo]

528th!!!!

[XINKAI]

FIRST!!

[babyboy1097]

I was right before he said what it was i said cock WTF XD!!!

[MrEternity5]

ITS GARAGE DAY!!!!!!!!!!

[ST3V3fic]

if every time i killed someone in COD they die in real life and they came back in the 7th day i would have an army... no wait a battalion...no wait a planet of zombies on my ass

[SlicedAndDiced]

Well, it kind of makes sense. The reaper just wants more souls to take, so he tells that guy to kill some. xD

[Lizardvenom1]

this movie is actually awesome i really enjoyed it was on hbo on demand

[weguess]

Shut up. *BLAM*

[Sausagist]

she is like olivia wilde

[ilikethecoke]

That is one of the greatest Grim Reapers I have ever seen.

[BlckSbthMan]

Grim pro tip.

[JumpingBalrog]

wow great movie....NOT.

[MrSonichu]

Cut off my penis how about you put barb wire in your vagina.

[HyperLogic91]

@UberKrassMann you know it lol! Dumb that bitch and get a girl who wants your dick!!

[UberKrassMann]

why would you cut of your penis for a women? what the hell will you do with her after you had it cut off?!?!

[834113]

who the fk would cut off their penis... and who is afraid if penises????

[CylonDorado]

So... this guy cut off his cock for what? So he could cuddle naked with the chick without her getting scared? Better be the best damn cuddle ever...

[lolwutscout]

Grimreaper effects ill give it a 8/10

[MrROTD]

those two are dtf in a crypt heehee

[metrogotham]

i thot this movie was awful

1/5



[theblacksheep1000]

awww u didnt tell us what happened in the end! The tunnel/cliff scene lmao

[SomeTotalRandom]

LOLWUT????

[nightwaffle115]

how the fuck can this be a dream its more of a nightmare!!!!!

[Railware]

One girl is afraid of my penis? Better get it removed.

[drummermylo]

rofl. When he said "guess what she's afraid of?" I immediately thought "Dicks". I'm psychic.

[TheShakiebreaks]

i honestly thought castlevania was gonna come into with james and the grim reaper

[AlfredGamer1]

@TheShakiebreaks I think there should be a Castlevania movie. That would be awesome to see Simon Belmont on the big screen.

[LovecraftianOne]

I saw the original Dellamorte Dellamore on tv around 1999, and I absolutely loved it. I've been telling people about it for years, but never found a reference to it until now! 

[mackandcheese1000]

"smoking is not allowed in here"

"shut up"

*gunshot* XD

[Pyhankoski]

I am kinda interested in seeing the original Dellamorte Dellamore

[TheSpartanK11]

He can shoot someone in the head from more than 30 feet with a FUCKING REVOLVER. DOES NO ONE NOTICE THIS?

[MrWhaler71]

@TheSpartanK11 Practice makes perfect.. and having the right tool helps too ... 75 -100 foot shot like that isn't hard with a SW 44 mag/factory hair-trigger.

[Alan919]

ITALIAN HORROR HAVE ALWAYS SOME PORNO INSIDE.. who i am for said it?? i'm italian!

[deadpool514]

@Alan919 Dio benedica l'Italia e im americano god bless italy and im american

[BIGNIG2500]

@Alan919 ...WHAT?!

[thedancemetaltwins]

How did I KNOW it was going to be dicks?

[naMhtaeD]

i clicked the thumbnail cos of the fat guy XD

[AzeroSpace]

this movie is kinda cool and i really liked the way the grimreaper looked but i was disappointed that he wasn't there after that one little scene. and the penis cutting scene traumatized me. :S

[davy1678]

lol wut?

[CharmieKid]

A woman afraid of penises......the irony.

[meetajhu]

Sex over husband's grave is uber hot

[PivotCommando]

When someone nags me about stuff, im gonna do 3:47

[BosskThePimp]

Hey Nun, BOOM HEADSHOT.

[LizardKing97051]

Why do you keep referring to the assistant as Gal? His name is Gnaghi in the film

[daikana1]

What the FUCK IS THIS MOVIE!? THIS IS JUST A HUGE CLUSTER FUCK!

[NeoOne110]

this movie was awesome. it was weird as hell but there was boobs so yeah.

[Plingio]

I love how James starts just saying "It's Cinemassacre's Monster Madness" and gradually acts a little more until there is ridiculous over-acting.

[TheNineinchsnails]

wouldnt it mean of death and love? I know very little spanish I was jw. If anyone knows that would be cool

[XMrsSkarletx]

"if u jus dont want the dead coming back 2 life.....y wont u jus kill the living......shoot them in the head"

[dHeavyEchob]

Penis Phobia, so shes a lesbian

[AntonyBlalock]

James has never heard of necrophila

[siralucard19]

2:24 Of course the Grim Reaper was telling a joke but the idiot cemetery man took is seriously with no logic

[siralucard19]

1:00 No flowers, no candy, no Ferrari, no lovely homemade meal or fancy restaurant but a crypt with skulls? She couldn't ask anything more? And she makes sex on her husbands grave just? No more weaping or even the slightest respect for her dead husband? Italns really make sick horror movies

[Bassie00001]

I had this movie but...

it was in italian only :'(

[ROOKI3LINKX]

Thank god my gf doesn't have penisphobia o.e

[SC0R3B00T]

Penis-phobia xD

[leadfarmer4u]

In the movie Drive angry, the bad guy gets his dick bit off.

[XsubXzer0XforeverX]

that reaper looks awsome i would love to have a voice like that

[CaptainReckis]

WHO THE FUCK CUTS THEIR PENIS OFF!?