Added: 2 years ago
From: davidmitchellsoapbox
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  • That's the only shirt he has?

  • I’m dyslexic and while it dose cause me some genuinely annoying problems it does have its advantages

    I can use the label as a shield admittedly a weak one when I can’t be assed to try

    When it is actually annoying me I can still draw solace form the fact it will annoy some people at least twice as much then i just run with it and use it s means of troling like the people who are writing a reply about my lack of punctuation before even reading to this point

  • I love how everyone's commenting with perfect grammar now...

  • Be right back, off to send this video to over half of my friends on Facebook...

  • u wot m8?

  • the squigly (spelling?) red gods of microsoft word.. rofl

  • i'd bother with my capital letters etc if i wasn't worried i'd look like i was trying to make a point about typing correctly ^-^ as for the grammar, well when i'm just evolving the english language. it's gonna happen so might aswell make try and influence it in ways that sound more appealing to me ^-^

    only when i'm leaving comments in places where if people judge me, i can judge them for judging me, though. of course i make the effort when sending emails to people i need to suck up to ^-^

  • @sKRAPtheRIpPER Evolving the... WHAT? Fuck off, if you think that shitty grammar should become the "norm" for the entire English language, you're a retard.

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  • @sKRAPtheRIpPER A rise in illiteracy is not, in any way, the language evolving. Complete opposite.

  • @Ooft17 don't you think you'd look pretty illiterate to people speaking english a few hundred years ago? but i'm not sure illiteracy is exactly what i meant...

  • wats he bangin on abowt?

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  • Bad spelling is bad breath in writing

  • @PalaceOfTheFree That's brilliant! May I use this? I mean on a daily basis.

  • Is anyone else finding themselves clicking through David Mitchell videos?

  • @SkrateBeastin Yes. I must have (not must of) watched about a dozen by now. On to the next one...

  • TOOKER JERBS

  • It's "are" shafted.

  • @JDLupus No...no it isn't.

  • @JDLupus .No. The 'just like everyone else' is an independent clause. It just interrupts the phrase I am shafted. 

  • Wut awl yaul tawken'g ubaut?

  • rofl spelling doesnt make u cool its just youtube its not like we are in school idiot.

  • @ClTIZEN DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

  • @ClTIZEN Why the lapse in grammar, spelling and syntax on youtube? It doesn't make you cool to spell things incorrectly on youtube.

  • gd v1d3o

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  • someone needs to make kinetic typography of this guy

  • You pronounce "would've" as "would of", but yeah, actually typing/writing/texting would of would be pretty bad.

  • this is definately the funnyest video I'v seen all day

  • @durananrananrananran Almost gave me a heart attack there...

  • 'Have you seen David today?'

    'No I haven't. I have been ill, I haven't been to work since last Friday.'

    I wonder how people who think 'would of' is the same as 'would've' (would have) would write such an exchange.

    "Of you seen David today?"

    "No I ofn't. I of been ill, I ofn't been to work since last Friday."

    To think that 'would of' is equivalent to 'would have' simply because it sounds like the contracted form 'would've' is pure ignorance. Funny though that it is exclusively seen in the UK.

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  • @chikubichan I think it stems from young children hearing "would've" and assuming it is the words "would of." Probably just a virtuous error that never got corrected or fell into habit before it was corrected.

  • @chikubichan "Would of" isn't a mistake made exclusively in the UK. I often see that mistake in the US.

  • @chikubichan It's not at all. It's a common error. Much like 'half to' instead of 'have to' or 'suppose to' instead of 'supposed to'. People assume that the lazy pronunciation they're used to (not 'use to') hearing is an indicator of how to spell.

  • annoying mistakes:would of, dollers, its instead of it's.

  • dyslexia is a bitch

  • So, why are there spelling rules?

    so those who want to read what you write are able to understand what you are writing about !

    Ignore the rules and no-one understands your meaning - so you are better off not writing at all.

  • People should not be allowed to comment on YouTube unless they are made to watch this video first.

    Also, who else here must restrain themselves from correcting friends on Facebook out of fear being ostracised?

  • @jessemaurais Ohh goodness no! I constantly correct my friends on Facebook, or refuse to acknowledge their comment if it doesn't make at least some grammatical sense! They wont learn unless you force them to!

  • @jessemaurais Just silently judge them. Don't tell them you are judging them but maybe slip in that it will happen and that someone (not necessarily you) will be judging them.

  • @jessemaurais You forgot the of before being. You're stupid.

  • @baldurus1 And you forgot to place quotes around words you were referring to rather than using. I guess the grammar Nazi would have shot us both.

  • @jessemaurais I didn't quote because you didn't use the word in the first place, what was i supposed to quote? :D

  • @jessemaurais I don't. I let everyone know what's on my mind regardless of how they take it. I find it weeds the idiots out and I don't give a proverbial shit about anyone I lose as a "friend" if they're morons. I eat humble pie when I'm wrong and have been corrected, and so should everyone else.

  • @jessemaurais I used to correct other peoples bad spelling (Hail Grammar Nazi) but I had to give up due to the large amount of bad spelling it would take too much time to correct them all.

  • @jessemaurais I correct people all the time. And, often, appreciate being corrected. Weird, I know, but I figure if we keep on each other, it will improve our spelling, grammar, and even lexicon. I do get a kick out of some of the reactions I get though, especially when I tell someone they just used a word that doesn't exist.

  • @jessemaurais Agree with your first part of the comment.

    However, if someone gives you shit or deletes you for correcting them they're probably not worth your time.

  • @jessemaurais HAH! Nonsense, I correct friends on facebook all the time. It may make them angry/annoyed with me, but I still feel like I'm doing a duty to my country.

  • @jessemaurais Does correcting your friends make you become an ostrich?

  • I hate the "would of" rather than the "would have" as well, but the thing that annoys me most is the fact that people can't seem to grasp the "there/their/they're" and "your/you're" concept.

    There - where something is

    Their - belonging to a person or group of people

    They're - short for "they are"

    Your - belonging to a specific person

    You're - short for "you are"

    You'RE welcome.

  • @AllTimeJedLife you are (you'RE) absolutely right.

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  • @barendbos *non native

  • I think everyone should be required to listen to this. Not enough people in the world care about grammar and spelling, and I do judge them for it.

  • haha, my boss texted me once : show up when your suppose too !!! 3 mistakes in 1 sentence!!!!

  • We will judge you.

  • the 'n' in can't is backwards!

  • Your all talking this to seriuosly. Their is noting the mater with hoe enny1 spels. It isnt esenshal to be under stood.

    I need to take some paracetamol now, typing that actually caused me some physical pain.

  • @MrSelidor7 cock!

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  • @heathclifffe. Yes, you are a cock for forgetting the capital letter at the start of a sentence.

  • @MrSelidor7 theres knowin how to write and then theres bein a pretentious self important git....wonder which one u r....

    Ooooh, writing that was so dreadfully arduous that it made my fanny tickle!

  • @heathclifffe. Why do you visit a satirical comedy sketch when you clearly have no sense of humour?

    I never claimed to be as witty as David Mitchell but you shouldn't be surprised and certainly not offended when his fans try to make jokes in support of something he has said that is both interesting and entertaining. You don't have to find it funny but also, you don't have to be offensive although in your case, I think that NOT being offensive would be a challenge.

  • His delivery is impeccable and he is clearly a highly intelligent man. However, it is worth noting that this argument could possibly create an overly sober conception of language and discourages people from being playful with language. As an Irishman, I am aware that much of what I say is technically improper and that many of my turns of phrase are anglicisations of 'nathanna on Ghaeilge'. Ta se ceart go leor sa chaint, ach an fearr cruinneas a bhaint amach sa scriobhneoireacht? N'fheadar.

  • @mingushead19 no one minds how English is spoken by the Irish, becuase you all make it sound so sexy.

  • Apnrepatly, msot wrods can be uddorsetnod. eevn if teh lrttes are tlalotlly msesed.aobut wthi.

    The rule, normally, is that the first and last letters must be in the correct place, but I'm so lazy that I didn't even bother with that.

  • @pineapplepenumbra That's true,and like he says, you are free to spell how you like...but I'm going to judge you if you spell like that. Sure, I know what you mean when you type that..and I know what you mean when you say would of... but I'm still judging you. Horribly

  • "Would of" and "would have" are indistinguishable when spoken in an RP accent. This is the reason people are wont to write the wrong version.

  • @gettebs That error isn't specific to a single accent. It happens with every American dialect. I think it's the contraction "would've" that confuses people.

  • @gettebs I think the abbreviation of "would've" sounding a lot like "would of" causes some trouble, too.

  • @MentalMaladies except that's not an abbreviation, it's a contraction. And it's not even a proper contraction. So it's part of the problem for sure.

  • @realcuts Ah, I thought the term abbreviation could be used for that too, my mistake.

  • lol dave ur legend u giv me jokez

  • Oh, the irony of the missing apostrophes in the description...

  • It's funny, because you say "emails". Email stands for: electronic mail. Mail is plural, you do not receive mails. So you don't receive electronic mails.

  • ...I'm 14 and I've read Eats, shoots and leaves

  • I don't say "would of" I say "would've". They sound similar but it is a proper contraction of "would have".

  • @taukid421 It's likely that that is the reason for the error, they do sound quite similar indeed.

  • @taukid421 Well done!

  • @taukid421 that's the point isn't it - kiddies hear grown-ups saying "would've", and hear it as "would of"

  • @taukid421

    yeah, "would of" isn't anything. it's "would have" and "would've".

  • @taukid421 In my northern accent they sound the same!

  • @Furicist

    In my Northern accent, they don't.

  • Spotted 4 punctuation errors in the description for this video - todays instead of today's, cant instead of can't, Davids instead of David's and no space between a full stop and the first word of the next sentence. And bugbear doesn't need a hyphen.

  • @graemeoliver84 omg it's almost like it's on purpose

  • It annoys me when people say more hot, or more scary instead of hotter and scarier. Although I am open to the idea that this is a sign of a living language evolving.

  • Anyone realize the "N" in can't is backwards?

  • This is probably the only YouTube comments section in which everything is spelled properly! Interestingly, in writing this comment, i discovered that YouTube's built in spell-check mechanism does not know the word YouTube!

  • i do love a good middle class rant in the moring

  • "on route" is an annoying one. doesn't make sense, fuck off!

  • your instead or you're, anyone???

  • So, he thinks that people who can’t spell should write letters perfectly with help from dictionaries?

    I belong to that group, the bad spellers that is, and I will claim that if I look everything up I will use at least 7,5 times the time in writing the damned letter. And said letter would be outdated before I finished it.

    Therefore I will keep on sending my letters out, non-checked. Hoping that I don't stress nerves of the receivers too much.

    Warning: Comment has not been grammatically checked

  • @Sokkurin if you didn't check this comment before posting than you are clearly not a bad speller, maybe a bad ranter though.

  • @hipp6y *then?

  • @mespursongles whoops! my bad, it should be 'then', indeed.

  • @Sokkurin i think he more referz to ppl talkin lyk dis

  • @Sokkurin No, that's not what he meant. He meant that, assuming you KNOW you're a bad speller, you would probably search up things that you're unsure about. Whereas good spellers would be thrown off by a region-specific language filter. I.E American - English and UK - English.

  • "We won't tell you we're judging you, but we will" - hows that for ambiguity in meaning or non tautological tautological semantics!

  • "Would of" is the most infuriating mistake that no one seems to notice. Thank you, David Mitchell.

  • @Szaam i agree, that annoys me so damn much :)

  • @Szaam People of actually made that mistake?!

    Idiots....

  • @Szaam my first language isnt even english and everytime i see a native english speaker say of instead of have i'm dying inside. same with your and you're

  • @Szaam your as in :

    your stupid

    is way more annoying imo {its suposed to be your'e

  • @Szaam People who feel the need to correct the would of with would have pisses me off.

    If I say would've don't correct me and say would HAVE. Because that is exactly what I said.

  • @malenkoicp

    They piss you off, they don't pisses you off. Secondly, "would've" is a contraction of "would have", meaning that it's essentially the same thing. Anyone who whines about that is nitpicking, but "would of" is entirely different.

  • This works both ways, some people will make a judgement when everything is meticulously spelled and uses correct grammar and punctuation. Specifically in a less formal context like a text message or a YouTube comment, so what I tend to do is includ one typo to make it look like it's effortless.

  • Missing apostrophes in the description. Possibly for comic effect.

  • I just caught the subtle joke of him checking the spelling of "marvellous" and "panellist" every week. Heh.

  • When he said that he would judge people who misspell things, it reminded me of the posh people who are unaccountably waiters.

  • Well, while my german spelling is -at least most of the time- perfect, I can't say my English is. And since people often misstake me for a Brit, they most certainly think I'm a complete idiot when they see my writing ^^

    The funny thing about is, I too judge people whos english grammar is even more imperfect than mine... What a lovely world we live in, everyone can feel smarter sometimes ;-)

  • It's not all about judging. The other day a guy wanted to start a fight with me on twitter, but his grammar/spelling was so bad, I had no idea what he was saying. So I blocked him. I barely figured out he was disagreeing with me. I understand English might not be his first language, it's not mine either, but if he wants to communicate a message, he should at least try to spell properly or at least he's just throwing incoherent letters at you.

  • "would of" instead of "would have"!! He's so right! I feel an urge to scream when people write or say that!

    My other big pet hate is "better then" instead of "better than".

    That one should be a hanging offence.

  • @Thraxwhirl - I think you need to get out more.

  • @Thraxwhirl I say would've instead of would have which sounds like would of but it really isn't.

  • My kids received a coloring book the other day that had been printed by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. The title of the book included the word "Kid's," meant to be a pluralization of "Kid." *sigh*

  • @wahlgc yet you used coloring instead of the british spelling colouring? sarcasm or hypocrisy ?

  • @schnorschrajaxx : Neither. That's how we spell it here on the other side of the pond.

  • @schnorschrajaxx Judging that their profile says they're American, I'd have to say neither.

  • @wahlgc What did the title say exactly?

  • @wahlgc Out of curiosity, what was the exact title of the book?

  • @wahlgc what was the exact title of the book?

  • @wahlgc what was the title, exactly?

  • People say "would of"? I just assumed they were using the Irish-ism of "Would've".

  • I have a Scottish friend ....wait a minute...I am far too self conscious of my spelling and punctuation now to continue this story about my Scottish friend and her views on my lackluster American education and how I believe that my only psychic experience ever...was reading the subtext of her expressions as she tried to explain to me the inarticulate nature of my emails in a way that would allow me retain at least a shred of my dignity...so never mind... see I cocked it up...

  • everyone's comments sound so DavidMitchelly don't they...

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  • antidisestablishmentarianism

  • o mi days dis mans a nerd. jheeez.

  • Has anyone noticed how many apostrophes are missing in the video description? I assume David wasn't responsible for that bit, but it's still ironic that it got on there with this video!

  • I've always believed that if English is the only language you speak and write, you might as well at least try to get it right!

  • google. That is all.

  • I concur.

  • I and everybody else am? I and everybody else 'are' - surely?

  • @theigneous "I, and everyone else, am." He used a clause. Remove the bit between the commas (and then the commas themselves), and the sentence still makes sense.

  • @georgercop thanks for clearing that up for me.

  • Gosh darn it! My ears and brain are bleeding. He spoke a word which sounded like "incentivize" as if it were real.

  • @migleroide It is.

  • @migleroide I believe the term he used was, 'abundently incentified'. Means he has a big incentive.

  • @Dave12777 I causes my jaws to clench and thereby to remove most of the remaining enamel from my teeth to think that any reasonable person with a grasp of the English language could create a verb out of the noun "incentive". That sort of thing is just crap of the direst sort. If you somehow feel that it makes you look or sound smarter, then you are already past any help that I could provide. [And I just *know* you were looking for my help, weren't you?]

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  • I'm a Grammar Nazi sometimes. It's really fun to correct people out loud.

  • Thumbs up if, like me, you've read 'Eats, shoots and leaves'

  • I always correct my friends and my brother when they text me something that is spelt defective, just because I feel so smug afterwards.

  • Spelling and grammar is good, since it shows if somebody takes care and consideration to communicate with you; but as soon as you use somebody else's spelling to win an arguement, you just look like a bad-loser who can't think of an intelligent comeback.

  • If I read something that has spelling and grammatical errors in it, whether I not I 'judge' the person who wrote it depends on the context of what they've written. I'm not going to pick an informal note to pieces, for example, or a letter from a friend, but I might suggest a rewrite for a job application or a college thesis.

    ...Although if someone insults me without even being able to spell the insults properly then yes, I WILL judge THEM. Especially if they can't spell 'idiot.'

  • @Maerahn

    whether OR not, not whether I not

    <3

  • @z3r0t0l3r4ns Haha! Ya got me...!

    ... I mean "It appears that you spotted my 'deliberate' mistake... erm... well done!" ;^)

  • why does david look like hes made of wax in the video

  • What a marvelous panelist he is.

  • did anyone else notice that the "n" from the word can't on the blackboard is backwards?...hmmmm

  • @archama99 "my uncle Jack" is perfectly normal English. And different from "my uncle, Jack", in both pronunciation and meaning, however subtly so. Because of the way the sentence is spoken when NOT using the comma, you have to leave off the second comma as well, so the correct way of writing when you wish to put the stress on "Jack" and not on "my uncle", is "I helped my uncle Jack off a horse."

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  • "Squiggly red gods of Microsoft Word" Genius!

  • Oh, you 'would of'-'could of' people, how misguided you are! Still, forgive and forget =)

  • @MintyInTheSky The "of" sound is actually the " 've " You'll find at the end of "I've" instead of "I have", for example. I Wouldn't normally be such a grammar nazi about it, but considering the subject of the video, I felt it necessary (And yes, I did have to look up "necessary" in the dictionary.)

  • @21quandary Uh, I'm pretty sure MintyInTheSky already knew that :/

    "Oh, you 'would of'-'could of' people, how misguided you are!" ←@MintyInTheSky

  • @MrV902 Then is should have been spelt correctly in the first place.

  • @21quandary Yes, I know what it's used for, I just don't know why. 'Could of' makes no sense to me, but 'could've' does. You wouldn't say 'you of' instead of 'you've'.

  • @Kai2oo6 And yet, for all your anger, you've got to admit; you are speaking English. Which means that at one point or another, we raped your country and made you speak our language. Just like how a rapist implants his seed into his victims womb, zips up his fly, and strolls casually away.

    This little rock, fucked your shit up. Now reply to me in my language, bitch. haha

  • @The1stPoster Ah yea, the mighty Progenitor of Empire and in such deep shit. Such mighty "rulers of the world' you are. Such a great group of people for us quivering masses of the pibnk bits to look up to. I love it. The irony is fantastic. You are the great great great grandfuckwit of the people who actuially made your country great. You are a low level shit still trying to suck some value from the inheritance. Pathetic.

  • @The1stPoster Ah yea, the mighty Progenitor of Empire and in such deep shit. Such mighty "rulers of the world' you are. Such a great group of people for us quivering masses of the pibnk bits to look up to. I love it. The irony is fantastic. You are the great great great grandfuckwit of the people who actuially made your country great. You are a low level shit still trying to suck some value from the inheritance. Pathetic, arrogant and laughable.

  • @The1stPoster Umm.... if you were trying to say that Kai2oo6 was being insulting and judgemental, what you've just said really did not help AT ALL.

    And as for Kai2oo6: interesting that you rip into the Brits about being judgemental and bigoted by... being judgemental and bigoted yourself. Way to win the moral high ground, genius!

  • *(cough) Stuck up... *(cough) Snob

  • @Kai2oo6 Then we'll have to agree to disagree

  • @Kai2oo6 Please don't tar us all with your sweeping generalising brush. While we have our cliquish bigots and popular tv programmes that deal in humiliation, so do many other countries. The sooner people stop generalising by country the better, I know for certain I have more in common with many foreign people than I do with some of those who happen to be born in the same country as myself (final word pun intended)

  • @morgski It's called stereotyping, when the majority of people and/or the loudest people act/do things in a certain way then that's the view spectators will have on the country/minority aswell. As part of that minority it's your duty to disprove such generalisations to those who believe in them, not to have a little moan about how unfair you believe it all to be.

  • @morgski Given the content of the video, was this ironic?

  • I definitely judge people who don't follow the rules of the English language. Language is used in every essence of life, you may as well get it right. Not doing so just shows that you are lazy because there's no excuse for not learning it correctly.

  • I'm sure that what David is recalling here is a page from one of my many internal rants, locked away in my head somewhere.