We can have a full theory discussion later but gut reaction after hearing it a couple times- it's jarring. And that's fine, except for the fact that the rest of the song is just so damn well-crafted that I don't think that it makes it a stronger song. That said, if you did flesh it out with some orchestration it could work better but I think changing the vocal melody the second time through heading into the fun chords might help soften it for our ears. (Too much expectation if kept the same.)
so my idea: as you were playing the song, radiohead's "I will" kept popping into my head, particularly during the chorus, so what if you threw in a reference to that song at the end of yours? describing the idea is kind of hard, but i think you'll see what i mean when you try it. when you sing "take my lies", try it like this (repeating "lies" twice) A F# A F#
first off, amazing job. its good to see that all your hard work, learning and absorbing the music you've done covers of, is paying off. you're a great example of how music perpetuates and evolves: you listen, you learn, and from that you make something new and awesome. high five.
i have an idea about the song, too, but it wouldn't fit in this comment..so i'll post another one.
Okay, I'll skip the part where I compliment your vocal style and freshness, and get straight to the more constructive part. The chord change at approx 2:57 took me by surprise, and didn't seem to fit at fist. Fiddling about with those chords (C#m to Bm), it seems as though they should work fine, but within the context of the full song there's something slightly amiss. From experimenting, I found that a Bm7 had a slightly softer sound which transitioned more nicely. Might be worth checking out.
@ViolentRiC hmm. i kind of like that. still not sure if i just want to keep it the same as the normal chords in the chorus or do this transition. the Bm7 does soften it up, which may work. great suggestion. i think the only way i'll really be happy with changing it up is if there is a contrasting stings line or something to direct upward as it falls through these chords.
I really like it. Your voice has this great 50's crooner-ish kind of vibrato and the vocal melody is really catchy. I don't know all that much about chord progression but it all seemed to tie in just fine. The chord change in the second chorus was just a little bit awkward though, (If I'm listening to the right part), I think it still works but something different might sound a bit better. Great song! Hope this helps..
I need this song on my iPod :)
MsRakoe 1 month ago
very good song. it reminds me of a mixture of morrissey and sufjan stevens. and I liked the chord change at the end.
stiffupperlip4 1 year ago
I just keep listening to this over and over. #signofagoodsong
BlueNote27 1 year ago 3
brotherrr, I love it!
I look forward to hearing it in person soon! :]
CKconcerts 1 year ago
love this song
RadioheadLvr1 1 year ago
Comment removed
RadioheadLvr1 1 year ago
We can have a full theory discussion later but gut reaction after hearing it a couple times- it's jarring. And that's fine, except for the fact that the rest of the song is just so damn well-crafted that I don't think that it makes it a stronger song. That said, if you did flesh it out with some orchestration it could work better but I think changing the vocal melody the second time through heading into the fun chords might help soften it for our ears. (Too much expectation if kept the same.)
BlueNote27 1 year ago
First of all, I'm ALWAYS impressed by your vocal range, I love the tone of your voice, and your playing is always impressive!
BUT your songwriting is amazing! I wonder why you are not signed yet?
Have you autoproduced an EP ou album by any chance?
*favorited*
ShaneFoxX 1 year ago
so my idea: as you were playing the song, radiohead's "I will" kept popping into my head, particularly during the chorus, so what if you threw in a reference to that song at the end of yours? describing the idea is kind of hard, but i think you'll see what i mean when you try it. when you sing "take my lies", try it like this (repeating "lies" twice) A F# A F#
Take my Lie - es, Lie-es.
And end it on an A flat.
let me know what you think!
danielinsporto 1 year ago
first off, amazing job. its good to see that all your hard work, learning and absorbing the music you've done covers of, is paying off. you're a great example of how music perpetuates and evolves: you listen, you learn, and from that you make something new and awesome. high five.
i have an idea about the song, too, but it wouldn't fit in this comment..so i'll post another one.
danielinsporto 1 year ago
I love this. Your voice reminds me of the lead singer of Beirut--you should consider covering their "Elephant Gun." :)
KECogan 1 year ago
Never regretted the subscription Kean, keep up the good work!
LC1Banana 1 year ago
Okay, I'll skip the part where I compliment your vocal style and freshness, and get straight to the more constructive part. The chord change at approx 2:57 took me by surprise, and didn't seem to fit at fist. Fiddling about with those chords (C#m to Bm), it seems as though they should work fine, but within the context of the full song there's something slightly amiss. From experimenting, I found that a Bm7 had a slightly softer sound which transitioned more nicely. Might be worth checking out.
ViolentRiC 1 year ago
@ViolentRiC hmm. i kind of like that. still not sure if i just want to keep it the same as the normal chords in the chorus or do this transition. the Bm7 does soften it up, which may work. great suggestion. i think the only way i'll really be happy with changing it up is if there is a contrasting stings line or something to direct upward as it falls through these chords.
keanbean 1 year ago
I mightn't know an awful lot about chord changes, but what I do know is that whatever just happened was wonderful.
BeforeItsMadeIllegal 1 year ago
I really like it. Your voice has this great 50's crooner-ish kind of vibrato and the vocal melody is really catchy. I don't know all that much about chord progression but it all seemed to tie in just fine. The chord change in the second chorus was just a little bit awkward though, (If I'm listening to the right part), I think it still works but something different might sound a bit better. Great song! Hope this helps..
RadioSixteen 1 year ago