It must have taken a lot of courage to do this and I applaud you for it. I am an exmormon and an atheist and it was difficult for my family because for them I had lost my faith. However, I haven't gotten up the courage to come out to my family yet but you give me hope. Thank you.
@kkharris5 Thank you for your kind words. This talk was very affirming for me. It was also affirming when I told my children one-on-one that I was bisexual and told my siblings. It still took me about a year to get the courage to tell my dad though, I so didn't want to hurt him (he was and is a major homophobe). But it worked out. And he loves me. He doesn't understand 'it', but he DOES understand that he loves me and so he supports me and it hasn't hurt us. Hoping for the best for you! ~ Tonya
@Tonyamama1974 Studies have shown that homophobes can sometiems be afraid of their feelings and are having some from of "reaction formation" an attempt to hide their real feelings...not saying this is true about your dad per se, but it would explain why he "understands"... if you know what I mean.
I am LDS. I am female and madly in love with a woman. She has known for years that this is because we are twin flames. I found out that we had actually been married in past lives when we were opposite genders. I've had a temple marriage and she has a male partner. She does not want to take our relationship to anything further than being just friends - says it would impede our life missions. She is involved in a Pentecostal church which she loves and feels strongly the presence of Jesus.
@WingedPaladinLight ... I don't really know what to say to this, but it sounds fascinating and very interesting. Thank you for sharing with me and everyone. All the best to you in your life! ~ Tonya
I'm so sorry that you have felt so targeted by the gospel of the LDS church. I for my part, always thought of you and your family with love and friendship. I have known you for many years and if I have ever contributed to this "lack of understanding" then I apologize with all my heart. We are all human after all. My hope is that one day when you have let go of your anger and tried forgiveness, you can remember the good things about your past and the people who were a part of it.
@mortonlalo ... Thank you for your kind words. You haven't contributed anything negative, the LDS teachings and homophobia have (and thankfully for me, it didn't get to the major depression and suicidal level it does get to for so many others). You are and always have been wonderful and loving (as has your family) and I love you dearly. I had a wonderful past full of super and special people. Some still are a part of my present, and you are a 'present' to me. ~ Love, Tonya
Your parents must be so proud of you. Think your Dad would like to see this? You know whats right and wrong, thus the struggle within yourself for so long.
@smeltfry.. My dad knows about this video and its contents and it has not affected us negatively, he loves me. The 'struggle' came from a lifetime of religious / societal programming and brainwashing (you disagree). What is WRONG: teaching that LGBTQ people are 'impure, unnatural, weak and sinful' for simply being who they are. What is RIGHT: loving myself 100% 'as is' and (for me) believing in a God of Love who would not create me to be who I am and then condemn me to Hell for it. ~ Tonya
Matt, I am not going to get into a discussion with you when anything I say will clearly be twisted to fit your views; simply put, I'll agree to disagree. I feel sorry for the situation you find yourself in, and hope that in time, you will find your way back. The church doesn't believe that Homosexuals are evil, the acts however are wrong. Just as intimacy before marriage among heterosexuals is wrong. Good luck on your Crusade! Sorry about the misspell.
Mattman..Do you respond to all comments on behalf of your wife? I thought she was the gay one? Is she not capable of responding? For someone who is "out" she looks rather timid and unsure of herself. She has to read verbatim about her life? One would think that if one was talking about themselves they wouldn't need notes?
@smeltfry... Hi. Nope, he doesn't, and yes, I am capable of responding. I actually just put the speech together the night before and didn't have time to practice it even once due to College papers and exams I had to focus on (hence the choppiness). And yes, I am timid and shy generally speaking and did amazingly well all things considered, yay me! As you can see from my Blog, there really is nothing in it that's new that I've not already said before. Thank you for your thoughts. ~Tonya
I would like to point out some inconsistencies in your speech. 1st, the church doesn't condone premarital sex, heterosexual or homosexual, one is not worse than the other, they are both wrong. 2nd, the church says what Christ said, love the sinner, not the sin. You should know better than anyone that the church teaches love, not hate. Regardless of where you find yourself in life, know that you will always be welcome here. God loves you and will be waiting for you to come back.
flerd1981... #1 You need to re-listen to or re-read Tonya's speech. The issue is NOT about "pre-marital sex", it is about SEX period. The LDS church DOES teach unequivocally, that homosexual sex acts are "impure and unnatural". The LDS church DOES teach, unequivocally, that homosexual (or bisexual) people are NOT allowed to engage in ANY form of intimacy with the same sex (no hand holding, no kissing, no petting, no sex) for to do so would be SIN. However, heterosexual people may kiss etc.
@flerd1981 ... #1 continued... this clearly shows that homosexual intimacy is considered to be worse than heterosexual intimacy. Have you ever heard a church leader say that a male and female making out in the back of their car was an "impure and unnatural" act? No. Can you imagine being gay and being told that your core sexual desires and drives are "impure and unnatural"? How about being heterosexual and being told that your core sexual desires and drives are "impure and unnatural"?
@flerd1981 #2 - LOVE, in my view, does not involve teachings and programming, which when believed and internalized cause LGBTQ people to feel humiliated, dehumanized and demonized to the point of self-hatred, depression and suicide. ... or to be told they are impure, unnatural and sinners by those professing to "love" them. Can you imagine telling yourself every day you were evil, impure, unnatural and a sinner (and hearing it from your family and leaders) and believing it?
@Mattman974 Matt, I am not going to get into a discussing with you when anything I say will clearly be twisted to fit your views; simply put, I'll agree to disagree. I feel sorry for the situation you find yourself in, and hope that in time, you will find your way back. The church doesn't believe that Homosexuals are evil, the acts however are wrong. Just as intimacy before marriage among heterosexuals is wrong. Good luck on your Crusade!
You are a very brave and courageous lady. Your talk was so genuine and moving.
bigdaddyfilmmaker 2 months ago
It must have taken a lot of courage to do this and I applaud you for it. I am an exmormon and an atheist and it was difficult for my family because for them I had lost my faith. However, I haven't gotten up the courage to come out to my family yet but you give me hope. Thank you.
kkharris5 11 months ago 2
@kkharris5 Thank you for your kind words. This talk was very affirming for me. It was also affirming when I told my children one-on-one that I was bisexual and told my siblings. It still took me about a year to get the courage to tell my dad though, I so didn't want to hurt him (he was and is a major homophobe). But it worked out. And he loves me. He doesn't understand 'it', but he DOES understand that he loves me and so he supports me and it hasn't hurt us. Hoping for the best for you! ~ Tonya
Tonyamama1974 11 months ago
@Tonyamama1974 Studies have shown that homophobes can sometiems be afraid of their feelings and are having some from of "reaction formation" an attempt to hide their real feelings...not saying this is true about your dad per se, but it would explain why he "understands"... if you know what I mean.
huffdawgs8 11 months ago
I am LDS. I am female and madly in love with a woman. She has known for years that this is because we are twin flames. I found out that we had actually been married in past lives when we were opposite genders. I've had a temple marriage and she has a male partner. She does not want to take our relationship to anything further than being just friends - says it would impede our life missions. She is involved in a Pentecostal church which she loves and feels strongly the presence of Jesus.
WingedPaladinLight 11 months ago
@WingedPaladinLight ... I don't really know what to say to this, but it sounds fascinating and very interesting. Thank you for sharing with me and everyone. All the best to you in your life! ~ Tonya
Tonyamama1974 11 months ago
Comment removed
oceantalk1 11 months ago
I'm so sorry that you have felt so targeted by the gospel of the LDS church. I for my part, always thought of you and your family with love and friendship. I have known you for many years and if I have ever contributed to this "lack of understanding" then I apologize with all my heart. We are all human after all. My hope is that one day when you have let go of your anger and tried forgiveness, you can remember the good things about your past and the people who were a part of it.
mortonlalo 11 months ago 2
@mortonlalo ... Thank you for your kind words. You haven't contributed anything negative, the LDS teachings and homophobia have (and thankfully for me, it didn't get to the major depression and suicidal level it does get to for so many others). You are and always have been wonderful and loving (as has your family) and I love you dearly. I had a wonderful past full of super and special people. Some still are a part of my present, and you are a 'present' to me. ~ Love, Tonya
Tonyamama1974 11 months ago
Your parents must be so proud of you. Think your Dad would like to see this? You know whats right and wrong, thus the struggle within yourself for so long.
smeltfry 11 months ago
@smeltfry.. My dad knows about this video and its contents and it has not affected us negatively, he loves me. The 'struggle' came from a lifetime of religious / societal programming and brainwashing (you disagree). What is WRONG: teaching that LGBTQ people are 'impure, unnatural, weak and sinful' for simply being who they are. What is RIGHT: loving myself 100% 'as is' and (for me) believing in a God of Love who would not create me to be who I am and then condemn me to Hell for it. ~ Tonya
Tonyamama1974 11 months ago
Tonya, thank you for sharing this!! so glad to know there are others dealing with this. Beautifully said.
lavenderplume 11 months ago
@lavenderplume ... Thanks so much!
~ Tonya
Tonyamama1974 11 months ago
Matt, I am not going to get into a discussion with you when anything I say will clearly be twisted to fit your views; simply put, I'll agree to disagree. I feel sorry for the situation you find yourself in, and hope that in time, you will find your way back. The church doesn't believe that Homosexuals are evil, the acts however are wrong. Just as intimacy before marriage among heterosexuals is wrong. Good luck on your Crusade! Sorry about the misspell.
flerd1981 11 months ago
Mattman..Do you respond to all comments on behalf of your wife? I thought she was the gay one? Is she not capable of responding? For someone who is "out" she looks rather timid and unsure of herself. She has to read verbatim about her life? One would think that if one was talking about themselves they wouldn't need notes?
smeltfry 11 months ago 2
@smeltfry... Hi. Nope, he doesn't, and yes, I am capable of responding. I actually just put the speech together the night before and didn't have time to practice it even once due to College papers and exams I had to focus on (hence the choppiness). And yes, I am timid and shy generally speaking and did amazingly well all things considered, yay me! As you can see from my Blog, there really is nothing in it that's new that I've not already said before. Thank you for your thoughts. ~Tonya
Tonyamama1974 11 months ago
Comment removed
oceantalk1 11 months ago
Comment removed
oceantalk1 11 months ago
Tonya
I would like to point out some inconsistencies in your speech. 1st, the church doesn't condone premarital sex, heterosexual or homosexual, one is not worse than the other, they are both wrong. 2nd, the church says what Christ said, love the sinner, not the sin. You should know better than anyone that the church teaches love, not hate. Regardless of where you find yourself in life, know that you will always be welcome here. God loves you and will be waiting for you to come back.
flerd1981 11 months ago
flerd1981... #1 You need to re-listen to or re-read Tonya's speech. The issue is NOT about "pre-marital sex", it is about SEX period. The LDS church DOES teach unequivocally, that homosexual sex acts are "impure and unnatural". The LDS church DOES teach, unequivocally, that homosexual (or bisexual) people are NOT allowed to engage in ANY form of intimacy with the same sex (no hand holding, no kissing, no petting, no sex) for to do so would be SIN. However, heterosexual people may kiss etc.
Mattman974 11 months ago
@flerd1981 ... #1 continued... this clearly shows that homosexual intimacy is considered to be worse than heterosexual intimacy. Have you ever heard a church leader say that a male and female making out in the back of their car was an "impure and unnatural" act? No. Can you imagine being gay and being told that your core sexual desires and drives are "impure and unnatural"? How about being heterosexual and being told that your core sexual desires and drives are "impure and unnatural"?
Mattman974 11 months ago
@flerd1981 #2 - LOVE, in my view, does not involve teachings and programming, which when believed and internalized cause LGBTQ people to feel humiliated, dehumanized and demonized to the point of self-hatred, depression and suicide. ... or to be told they are impure, unnatural and sinners by those professing to "love" them. Can you imagine telling yourself every day you were evil, impure, unnatural and a sinner (and hearing it from your family and leaders) and believing it?
Mattman974 11 months ago
@Mattman974 Matt, I am not going to get into a discussing with you when anything I say will clearly be twisted to fit your views; simply put, I'll agree to disagree. I feel sorry for the situation you find yourself in, and hope that in time, you will find your way back. The church doesn't believe that Homosexuals are evil, the acts however are wrong. Just as intimacy before marriage among heterosexuals is wrong. Good luck on your Crusade!
flerd1981 11 months ago
Nice video, I can tell the comments are going to become a flame war. I'm also an exmormon but not bi. Good for your.
Svperstarr 11 months ago
What a beautiful Strong Woman! What a Good Mother. Thank you for sharing.
PrintedTruth 11 months ago