Newswipe with Charlie Brooker S01E06 29 April - Susan Boyle

[SpidermanInLondon]

"I dreamed a dream of time gone by..." (flatly out of tune)

[roryphelan]

I thought her cover of 'Wild Horses' was very good.

[Otterley07]

"we'll keep her how she is! (for now)"

[sxxxhvampire]

'a haunted tree'

hahahahahaha

[99RML]

Brilliant. Simply brilliant. As with other things in his various series, Brooker has succeeded in a) articulately and amusingly expressing my own feelings about something, and b) allowed to me to realise I'm not alone in feeling that way.

[FinnsFenian]

I also felt alone, and frustrated. People can't think any more. Their passions and likes are all suggestive.

[MrPoxman]

Susan Boyle Wank Hat

[Omnilegence]

Concerning the comments made below, I quite like Jeremy Clarkson. On the grounds that he isn't monotonously whiney. Sure he's done twattish things but so have you and some people still like you(I clearly haven't:P). Anyway in defense against this becoming some Clarkson-bumfest comment I hate the plastic faced heralds of British Americanisation Si-Co and the female thing with and equal-to-or-greater-than degree of passion to everyone else.

[99RML]

Glad he tells ITV news to f off when they gratuitously mention the recession and how this can apparently make us all feel better...piss off.

[99RML]

"A televised end-of-the-pier show starring three twats" Ha ha

[jdunmer1018]

I feel like he's the news-criticizing version of yahtzee croshaw.

[missswearerify]

My family, friends and i used to write a magazine called the 'Shitehawk Herald'. Shitehawk is our word, he STOLE it! :O

[th4397]

Piers Morgan..."Shitsluggoballbags"!­!! How accurate!!!

[hodgepodge91]

this is the single best summation off that debacle i have ever seen, thankyou charlie brooker

[mike13lowe]

I AM IN LOVE WITH CHARLIE

[DissorderedArray]

Some bird of prey just shat on my car, I'm so mad that there isn't a word I can use to express the situation succinctly enough!...

[Avradizimir]

this is exactly why Charlie Brooker is my hero.  He's the only person in the media who makes sense.

[myloverisbillmurray]

SHITEHAWK!

[chocomog35]

@myloverisbillmurray SHITEHAWK!! If enough people say it, we can get this into the Dictionary ^.^

[player7860]

people please stop being stupid, please listen carefully before you comment...

[ServantOfAllah0264]

news reporter - ''The voice and life of susan boyle have managed to lift the spirits of millions in these tough and economic times - charlie brooker - OH F*** YOU!

[ShinobioofGilead]

His American accent at made me lol.

[TheLonesomeJack]

<3

[jonanice]

the denis healey comparison frm the start made me LOL

[cricket801]

Shitehawk!

[manurok1]

Epic battle of the logos going on in the top left

[Durzel]

Good God, how can (some) people not realise that he's saying she's quite normal but was MARKETED as an oddball BECAUSE Britain loves the underdog. Fucking morons.

[JustAboutCrazy]

'Ah, fuck you!' haha classic CB!

[DMEB]

haha. simple as that

[cornucopiaethiopia]

"...starring 3 twats..."

[jtbell04]

Charlie's american accent was frighteningly accurate.

[0xxellexx0]

:D omg soo funny

[Derm1991]

shitehawk hahaha

[mahound9]

Oh, the Americans always go the British one further with Trash.

[bowyer56]

here's a british word for you. "shitehawk"

[allaboutdmagic]

John Merrick could actually paint, you know. He visited a lake in Northampton to make watercolours.

[stupidintellect90]

If only I could get Charlie to write my essays...

[joey2226]

2:04 Piers Morgan is such a fucking idiot.

[eldospinks]

@joey2226 You are wrong, he is a cunt.

[joey2226]

Once again Charlie Brooker gets all of this spot on

[Shostasymphony]

1:28 - No-one does a venom-laden 'F*ck you' better than Charlie Brooker :)

[TheMikeyReilly]

Adagio for strings.

Whoever picks the music for this show; well, well done.

[SwingRiots]

@TheMikeyReilly I think Charlie does it himself. I remember him writing an article in the Guardian in which he stated he walks around with his iPod picking out music for his TV show.

[dan12321]

Haha 1:30 is brilliant. "FUCK YOU"

[DarraV14]

"Yeah, I've got another British word for you; SHITEHAWK."

Pahaha :L

Charlie Brooker should be prime minister.

[DrCornwallis100]

Thank you Charlie Brooker for saying what rational people all over the country (about 0.01% of the population) are thinking.

[mattyreynolds1990]

LMAO Charlie brooker for PM

[kellyc612]

LOL, he's just brilliant.

[PlazaMoon]

@kellyc612 Absolutetly. Especially the way he hissed Fuck you at the news presenter. He touched my soul at that point

[bumforpig]

Christ. I need Charlie Brooker by my side 24/7 to keep me happy.

[danieljamesmead]

A fucking haunted tree, that's proper lolz or what ever you internet kids call it. Sick.

[soulofshiver]

@danieljamesmead Good job outing yourself as a moron.

[danieljamesmead]

@soulofshiver I love you x

[soulofshiver]

@danieljamesmead You are my wife now!

[danieljamesmead]

@soulofshiver Get the dinner on then. Oooh. Sexist.

[valjester805]

"Tell me Susan, can you wipe your own asshole?"

[KaylaIvy]

"I've got another word for you: Shitehawk."

[thestrugglewithin]

lol I like this take: "Tell me Susan, can you wipe your own ***hole??"

Doesnt that just highlight typical journalism?

fantastic.

[auron1990]

Shite-hawk. My new insult of choice

[cadburymonkey]

i fucking hate subo because of the media

[refforendum]

omg lolol a haunted tree

[artifactingreality]

"or what passes for a smile on your unconventional face"

lmao gotta love Charlie.

[Passenger87]

Sadly this shit went world-wide I remember seeing it in some of the news paper over here in Australia. Honestly I don't see why people even give a shit. Those shows generally lack talent and complete creativity if anything they're destroying both.

Charlie see's how completely retarded society is and how we look at life.

[griffin7564]

shes not even that great of a singer...lol charlies better =P

[oscarian]

i actually get what this guy is saying (no idea who he is, tho). the media sucks. and sucks. and sucks. and they deserve ultimate critisitsm for being sucks. but it's interesting that, while he's critising susan boyle's performance, he's also implying that it affected him as well. this is why i love british comedy. it's intelligent, and not "did you get it, let me explain that to you" obvious. i enjoy having to think about what people are saying. good job.

[Bluestockings31]

Charlie Brooker should team up with Joel McHale. Imagine the possibilities!

[gckk10]

That would be incredible!

[conguyuk83]

Charlie Brooker is absolutely 169% correct with this! I love how he can get away with calling Piers Morgan 'shit slug-o-ball bag' that's brilliant! I really admire Charlie Brooker for his unique , pessamistic and angry look at television. We do live in a backwards appearance-led culture and all must conform to a PR minimum standards in terms of looks. This is why I don't have a television anymore.

[HSW1212]

Lmfao. Charlie, what a fucking legend.

[chr15101]

He is so right! haha

[JRHartly1984]

Thank fuck for Charlie Brooker! The man that can really sum up the insanity inherent in our culture.

[computer11111111111]

I totally agree with Charlie on this. I admit I was initially amazed that an unattractive woman could sing quite well, but Charlie puts it totally in perspective. It actually does slightly depress me that this is seen as some sort of miracle. Susan doesn't represent hope for humanity, if anything she shows society and humanity are in decline because we place so much emphasis on what people look like. No disrespect to Susan of course, I'm sure she's lovely, but shame on society.

[craigybaby10101]

lol,i wonder if he likes anyone?!

[davegorack]

@craigybaby10101 no. for he is Charlie Brooker;The most angery and awsome man in the UK.

[monkeyboy85]

you start to realise how f**ked the country is when anyone with more than 2 braincells people want to be prime minister

[melody77]

Shitehawk.

[phillydyrocksmysocks]

rest in peace susan boyle we love you

[H3ntaig33K]

ASS she's not dead

[sindexter]

P.S

Charlie Brooker For Prime Minister !

[MarxBakuninMe]

An ugly person who is capable of singing? WORLD WIDE PHENOMENA!

[Soundfrequency]

Our ability to come up with funny responses (a feat we call 'wit') AND our ability spell properly must greatly annoy you, but don't worry, I expected nothing more of Youtube comments :3

[Soundfrequency]

Jeez relax buddy, I was making fun of how easily you get wound up, and right now you ain't exactly proving me wrong :I

[sindexter]

Being the biggest twats in the world is an amazing achievment.Soon you'll be competing with the Nazis at being the most hated country ever. No we're not jealous ,as confusing as that must be to you. The world just thinks your Dicks ! We had it over a hundred years back when we had an empire, our arrogance blinded us into thinking everyone envyed us,when in fact they pitied us more. You try to treat the world like retards by saying 'O no we don't have an empire they don't exist anymore' Twat !

[hombrerelents]

Don't worry, he's probably too busy fucking his horse most of the time to care for humour.

[Soundfrequency]

Most likely, but it sounds more like attention seeking

D'you know he went to my page and watched a video called "soap and water", and he then very cleverly said "soap and water something the uk knows nothing about"

Get it?! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!

Soap!!! WATER!!!! Know NOTHING about!!!??

AHAHAHAHA, I think we found the Oscar Wilde of Youtube comments :3

[Pheonixfromtheshale]

@TheAlmightyDom: I don't think charlie's life is anything like yours that you've just described.

[nouoriel]

Some ridiculous comments here. He hasn't slagged off Susan Boyle at all. He slags Piers Morgan (BGT viewers wouldn't know how much of a cunt this man is), Plastic Blonde judge who used to leech off Les Dennis and the hyper-condescending American android/newspresenter. Shitehawk, indeed. However, the morons can only digest the condescending media treatment of the woman. Anything which deviates from the pre-packaged story is attacked. Remember that these people are allowed to vote. Scary.

[SwingRiots]

@nouoriel Spot on. Preach it!

[RTLoriginal]

@nouoriel And that is how we've ended up with Cameron in number 10.

[AcousticUplift]

I never understand why Piers gets so much disapprobation when Simon Cowell appears to me the lowest life form of them all.

[AcousticUplift]

It was 'Daily Mirror' editor not Daily Mail wasn't it? I could understand your anger if it was Daily Mail ;-) I haven't really got an opinion on Morgan either way but Si-Co seems more of an obnoxious piece of work to me. He's helping to deface mainstream music and TV all @ once if nothing else. There are more worthy candidates of annoyance than Piers IMHO; Jeremy Clarkson for example..

[Solario392]

@AcousticUplift You're completely right, which is why I had deleted the reply. But yeah, regardless of the publication: not a fan of Morgan.

Clarkson is a complete asshole, but at least he punched Piers Morgan three times in the face. That brings with it a certain cache of likability.

[AcousticUplift]

Ha! Did he? Talk about pots and black kettles. I think I'd be happier if it was the other way around. Still don't get all the fuss about Piers though. I must have been out of town when every1 decided to hate him or missed whatever he did that annoyed the UK population.

[ServantOfAllah0264]

@nouoriel Everyone slags everyone off anyway, who cares

[nouoriel]

@ServantOfAllah0264

Great contribution.

[JensonsBeard]

ZOMG CHARLEEE IS WEEL JELUS CUZ SUSON BOLYE IS AMAZINNNNNNNNNNNN

In all seriousness, you only have to put her name in a negative sentence to get people up in arms with defence. I think it's just people who have got drawn in by the charade of BGT and haven't stopped to think about what is actually happening.

Either way, ignoring my ironic comment at the beginning, Charlie Brooker got it right. Like he almost always does (but Kasabian aren't bad).

[dawnbr1nger]

1.28 - I share approximately the same feeling

[wrightherewrightnow9]

He makes me feel sane. I always feel that my opinions about the media and society are correct if he shares them!

He's completely spot on with his comments here.!

[HenryMuldrow]

Your observations are clever, unique and funny! Thanks for sharing them.

Greets.

[liamnjoff1212]

Why are the so many stupid fucking cunts who think he's actually havin' a pop at her?

[ursulaandess]

I know. Hilariously laughable fucking idiots - they think they're being SO wonderful to her... by being patronising and pitying.

[martine2u]

I like a commentator who can step back from the general madness and analyze things more deeply than most of us common people. I like that commentator even better when he can offer his comments without resorting to insult and petty jokes. But pay no attention to what I say: after all, as one of those unremarkable people who take pleasure in a good cinderella story, I'm not worthy of listening to these comments nor should I attempt to answer what I cannot comprehend... :-)

[Serj97]

Err this is a clip from a television show. The whole premise is commenting on TV and the media. What Charlie Brooker "does all day"....well he's primarily a writer and has written/co-written a couple of hit shows. What do you do all day? Sit at home and watch things on youtube?

[blackefron]

Stop watching ITV and pick up a newspaper once in a while and you might spot one of Charlie Brooker's articles...can you even read?

[ElWeasle]

You shitehawk, this isn't some random dickhead, this is Charlie Brooker. He's a well-respected journalist who is both intelligent and incredibly witty. This feature offers an incredibly valid and much understated perspective which is far closer to the reality of the situation than any other.

I imagine he does more 'ALL DAY' than you do all life if you're commenting things like that on Youtube.

[edthehead1975]

I love this man. I will remember that, "Shitehawk."

[HeyArnoldsspleen]

More handsomer than you ya cunt

[TulseLuper]

Diane Sawyer makes me ashamed to be an American.

[Singabus66]

There's the comment I was looking for. totally agree.

[sonicliam1]

actually Charlie has his own show, writes books and made a mini series called Dead Set, Susan Boyle sang in a show where nobody ever gets a career, so charlie isnt jealous of her because there is nothing to be jealous of

[SteveDurnin]

You really believe that's Charlie Brooker's sitting room?

[TulseLuper]

If you were paying any attention you'd know that he's twice as hard on the news coverage of Susan Boyle than the woman herself. He's not being particularly nasty about her, he just doesn't think she's that great. And she's really not that great. At least Paul Potts had something going on there.

[ursulaandess]

The point. You just missed it...

[SuzLa1]

At least Susan is beautiful on the inide, unlike her critics. She was just an ordinary woman who liked singing and wanted a chance as much as anybody. It isn't her fault for all the tabloid rubbish.

[TheStrokesofGenius]

Shitehawk, brilliant!

[JoeAlcorn]

Charlie Brooker is a legend

[NewFoundLoura182]

Correct x10.

[Vipermarkie]

yeah

[SREDNIVASHTAR74]

Couldn't agree with him more.

[revcom301]

This video is a combination of pure epicness eliteness win. x2

[Ethros64]

"If you stop to think about it for 0.68 of a second."

Maybe a coincidence, but I wonder if that's a reference to Star Trek: First Contact, where Data says he considered going along with the Borg Queen's plan for 0.68 seconds?

[MarxBakuninMe]

That yank is insufferable. Patronizing cow.

[marshgatelaneposse]

SPOT ON !!!!!!!!!!! 0.68 lol

[ursulaandess]

Charlie Brooker, I want to marry you! Brilliance! Every bit of it absolutey spot-on - the whole thing is utterly reprehensible. And what a CUNTBAG that American news anchor was to Susan Boyle...

[jonsinez]

I fear Charlie Brooker may well have hammered the final nail in to his coffin with that last episode. The guys an out and out genuis.

How the fuck did the BBC allow it to be broadcast?? He absolutely nailed them to a cross and in the same breathe outed the tabloids for using black art tactics like phone call hacking.

.two thumbs up.

[ErniePi]

those interviews with us tv are absolutely hideous to watch

[CapedCrusader91]

Right on, Charlie.

[Lickmytoe]

Haunted tree?

hahahahahahaha :D

[hombrerelents]

I don't know why you're addressing this to the man like he uploaded it himself. I seriously doubt he trawls the net looking for clips of himself in a fit of onanistic self-worship.

He's patently talking about the clip in the context of the news. Newswipe spans a range of issues and the way the media handles them.

Finally, Mr. Brooker is an accomplished, critically acclaimed writer in his own right, so I suggest you do some reading before making yourself look like a total tit again.

[zensunnione]

Fair enough.

After checking him out, he's actually pretty good.

The thing that gets me, though, is when people complain about media like they have no choice or are powerless to create an alternative.... as if they live in north Korea.

[GerryDisthename]

In North Korea people can't complain about anything. In western scoiety we can so I commend Charlie for his accurate comments on this whole patronising charade.

[bumforpig]

@hombrerelents

I like how you try and sound like Charlie Brooker....

[hombrerelents]

@bumforpig We are all but perpetual students of the grand master of sarcasm.

Venerate the Brooker, for he is Magister, and we are but his humble servants.

[SteveDurnin]

Don't like Newswipe? You change the channel.

[MaryMc11]

Oh Come on Charlie, Susan was great and it was a brilliant piece of tv. If that makes me a tiresome prick or a shitehawk then so be it.

[cluffy321]

do a little jig for us like a.. like a monkey

[LilSerenity1983]

Shit bag o'ball bags. Genius.

[benrichardson14]

This video segment needs to be spread worldwide. Charlie Brooker is a hero.

[SeventhSwell]

Pretty much.

[sugarsean1]

a haunted tree!

[RockingBeastie]

This is Genius, its a shame everyone can't see what he's saying. Charlie Brooker is a legend and Piers Morgan is a TWAT

[deject]

Piers Morgan is an ass and a douche.

[Brunotigby]

Douche is shower in French... what is an English douche ?

[deject]

My usage of douche in this context is short for douchebag, with a meaning similar to asshole, jerk, and dipshit.

[llewcat]

nuff said charlie.

nuff said.

[DerHoff]

If one more person talks to me about that Susan Boyle performance of Les Misérables I'm going to puke my balls out through my mouth.