Resistance and Procrastination

[thethirdq]

Please let meknow when your next video will be posted...

[ciobanitza]

If it was only that simple...

People who have parents who weren't controlling at all (like me for instance) procrastinate, too, and you can't explain this with this "I rebel against my dominant parents" theory.

[innerbond]

@ciobanitza People can also rebel against themselves - against their own inner critic.

[ciobanitza]

right, but a strict or punitive super ego (or inner critic, as you call it) usually only develops when a person has strict or punitive parents.

[innerbond]

@ciobanitza Not necessarily. Your parents might have been critical of themselves rather than of you, and you may have absorbed this.

[logotrix]

@ciobanitza

A strict and punitive super ego is a cultural process - family is just one component that is itself informed by these processes.

[fifthavenuegirl]

Thank you very much. Very helpful. You have the same name as my grandmother...

[innerbond]

Thanks for your comment - I'm pleased to be helpful.

[innerbond]

Fear of failure comes from the wounded part of you telling yourself that your worth is defined by success or failure, rather than your worth being intrinsic - based on your qualities of kindness, caring, and ability to love. Of course failure is terrifying unless you see it as part of a learning process rather than an definition of your worth. I suggest that you shift your focus from whether or not you fail to whether or not you make effort. Making failure okay is very releasing!

[Pamoc]

Interesting, but I sometimes come to the idea that the reason for procrastination is just fear of failing,..if my child feels afraid to do smth because of the possible failure (and then resulting self-criticism), does doing that through the pain constitute a loving action? The guidance would definitel say 'Yes, do it !', but the inner child is still very afraid to move forward with it :(

[innerbond]

I hope the insight is helpful to you!

[RADIANTandRAW]

I'm hearing about myself in this video!

[innerbond]

Thanks Bill! It can be challenging with hard tasks, but nevertheless, the loving Adult needs to step up and decide what is in your highest good.

[theycallmebill]

Great Video, Margaret. Very Clear. Do these points hold true when I procrastinate on tasks that are just really hard?