Very interisting those Christians down below as well talking high on the horse. I'm a Christian as well but it's a better term to say work through it not just get over it or someone saying just forgive and forgot. It takes time to forgive but the forget and I'm going to bring your grand kids over to you. I don't think so. I'm a disabled vet with PTSD and Christians have been in my face more about crap and crazy stuff than any one. That's why I just read KIJ.
This video explains why my ex-bf is a narcissist, he has to live by his parents rules and still do everything they tell him to do. He lives at home with them as he is their only child. His mother talks to him like he is 5 years old, but he is a grown man of 42! He chooses to stay there, everyone can make a choice in life. I left my abuser/violent husband, I had no job, and 3 young children, so it can be done. I had been abused everyway possible, its up to us to live the life we want.
Sooo...what would you recommend to the spouse of the NPD? Run for your life? or Take a long vacation? or slip into hiding? Cause it sounds like the spouse is going to get abused as well as the kids of the NPD like they have never seen before.
Dear Dr Vaknin: Have you noticed how popular "narcissist" has become in the American vernacular? I doubt people understand the full implication of what they are implying other than meaning self-absorbed. Do you have any thoughts of this matter?
Hello I'm a big fan of your work. As I was viewing the video I was wondering what you think of the Brian Blackwell JR case. Does this still apply to a narcissit who killed his parents?
The Christians below me are laughable, just like any other religious person. Open your eyes and read as much as one article on our universe. Do you still think your God made it?
To be christ like is to do good for others even though you don't feel like it , and even if no one on the whole planet ever knows you did it . That is a leap of faith and that act will bring a blessing on you . And just like drops of water in the ocean ,each one comes together to make for a better life , but it is a process! You will need Gods help !
That's similar to what's gonna happen when my parents die... How do you change who you are without 'God revealing himself to you'? I tried that route a few times and nothing changes. I'm not saying it's the wrong route to take; it just didn't work for me and it pisses me off when people constantly grate at your mind trying to convince you that 'Jesus is the way!' and giving no solid proof. I'm getting angry just thinking about it.
Forgiveness through Jesus Christ ,for others as well as for ourselves is the only way out of this living hell. The bible has the answer to every question
@Kathydrel Amen!! I was just feeling like shouting that out after watching almost all these videos. When the Lord sets you free from whatever the bondage is, you are FREE indeed!
@Kathydrel This is a mental illness. We tried God and he ended up ripping off his clothes and running down the street scream "God Take Me". Not to mention the time he drove his motorcycle off a cliff and when he got up ran into a ambulance head first. Might I add that he was speaking in a strange voice religious words and bible quotes. He was feeling at the TOP of his spiritualism at the time. Religion isn't the answer for this mental illness or a demon possession. Sorry,
I have NPD but I believe if people knew the cause of it they wouldn't be so harsh. The narcissist felt they were dehumanised at a very young age, never had the opportunities to have their needs met and so rail against the world because of the injustice of it.
@jafka633 Often wife beatters had an abusive father too, that doesn't mean that they shouldn't take responsibity. I came from a chaotic home, I don't abuse ppl in any way, emotionally, or physically, nor do I choose to b w/ lovers that do so to me. Yes everything has a cause, we r not all in the same boat, & can't b expected to turn out equally decent, nevertheless ppl should take some accounatbility 4 themselves at some point, & I have no sympathy 4 some1 who doesn't TRY to b better.
@jafka633 I feel sorry for the little kidl that was once them but, even though an abuser, criminal, & crazy person is often abused. Not all ppl that come from that envirornment turn out that way. While ppl who come from that should b granted more mercy, they shouldn't b above judgement. When the victim becomes the abuser they deserve to b punished, just as the 1 b4 them did. My sympathy lies more w/ the person who FIGHTS against the cycle, not some1 who whines & does the same thing done to them.
@jafka633 I can't remember any particular event that led me to feel dehumanized but since a young age I often was hurt by the most mundane actions/responses of other people, and this led me to think that I was better than them because I was more "sensitive/considerate". I'm happy that I've discovered these videos to separate my healthy thoughts from the hurtful ones, but I also feel a bit exposed and suspicious of myself now. How can we overcome the injustice feelings? I am immersed in them.
My husband's mother is a sociopath (Somatic Narcissists) who made her fame off the fame of my husband's father (her former husband). She is a monster, but to most in the public she is "kind and warm". She keeps up constantly mess behind the scenes and always has others to do her dirty work, while she feign "victim."She repeatedly molested her son as a child and believes he is her mate, thus attempts to annihilate every woman in it. He is an NPD too, created by her.
My narcissist ex's parents died not long ago and I was curious about how it affected him, so this is interesting. He was raised in a rigidly conformist Christian family. His father and grandfather were Ns, and two of his siblings. His family appeared normal and "successful." Outsiders had no idea how fucked-up they were and probably wouldn't believe it. I knew them for 35 years, since I was 20, but do not miss them. Like him, they made me out to be crazy to preserve their false image.
@myyrkat42 We r so alike. We can't be friends tho because it's only me in this world and no-one will get in my way. I lost my parents both last year. I faked my tears at the funerals to keep in with everybody else. I do miss them but i have freedom now too and i have become a man and not a boy. I do fell back in old habits of being a boy and men. I deserrve credit in this world and i will be popular.
@myyrkat42 I'm the survivor of a narcissistic parent. And through years of battling to have my own feelings validated, I discovered the ultimate weapon in the war for self-worth against the narcissist: to reflect their narcissism back at them.
How I would handle you is the same as reminding you that your opinions, your needs, aren't worth shit. I would relish in your contempt and hatred for me, since to be loved by you is insulting in itself, considering how inconsequential your life is.
@rationalheretic is that not a form of abuse in itself? they provide their kids with an unrealistic sense of reality, and treat them as objects to be overindulged rather than individuals
Is there any possibility at this point to change the narcissistic person. I knew a narc who lost both parents within a short space of time. I wonder if there was a window of intervention
@Riversleigh1 No its not possible! The Narcissist has to want to change his or herself! Their biggest struggle in this case will be to let go of the past. Even though their parents weren't perfect, they themselves are not perfect either! Its hard to see that when your in a relationship that is primarly dominated by a desire to control!
I myself, have all but completely stop contact with mine. I working with a therapist to overcome my past and become a better person than my parents, ever were. I feel better lately, and a lot more assertive than aggressive control that use to display. I now look forward to ever day now, happy and working on being happy but for real. I've realised that my parent never were good people and I can let them die in mind, just as they will later on. I do still worry about my sister, though.
My soon-to-be-ex-wife probably has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), although she has not been diagnosed by a professional. I see a similar dynamic at work within her.
is it possible if you have been neglected in somewhat understandable circumstances, combined with consciousness (even if not as high as yourself's) that you can feel more elated then once again abandoned or tormented.
also is isnt it a paradox in npd to be stuck in a time capsule of emotion, if i read between the lines correctly, and so un empathic? i would greatly appreciate an answer. thankyou
KJV 😊
StephenBryan27 8 hours ago
Very interisting those Christians down below as well talking high on the horse. I'm a Christian as well but it's a better term to say work through it not just get over it or someone saying just forgive and forgot. It takes time to forgive but the forget and I'm going to bring your grand kids over to you. I don't think so. I'm a disabled vet with PTSD and Christians have been in my face more about crap and crazy stuff than any one. That's why I just read KIJ.
StephenBryan27 8 hours ago
You're a genius.
lillie1990am 1 month ago
This video explains why my ex-bf is a narcissist, he has to live by his parents rules and still do everything they tell him to do. He lives at home with them as he is their only child. His mother talks to him like he is 5 years old, but he is a grown man of 42! He chooses to stay there, everyone can make a choice in life. I left my abuser/violent husband, I had no job, and 3 young children, so it can be done. I had been abused everyway possible, its up to us to live the life we want.
MyLaura999 1 month ago
Sooo...what would you recommend to the spouse of the NPD? Run for your life? or Take a long vacation? or slip into hiding? Cause it sounds like the spouse is going to get abused as well as the kids of the NPD like they have never seen before.
fancyfrenchy 2 months ago
Dear Dr Vaknin: Have you noticed how popular "narcissist" has become in the American vernacular? I doubt people understand the full implication of what they are implying other than meaning self-absorbed. Do you have any thoughts of this matter?
DCFunBud 2 months ago
7 Narcissist parents didn't raise their children right, lol.
Dreamcaseal2 2 months ago
I am really getting a good education on this topic and it is amazing, bring out my big mirror, MA.
thank you!
TheGalaxyhopper 3 months ago
Hello I'm a big fan of your work. As I was viewing the video I was wondering what you think of the Brian Blackwell JR case. Does this still apply to a narcissit who killed his parents?
Michelo17 3 months ago
The Christians below me are laughable, just like any other religious person. Open your eyes and read as much as one article on our universe. Do you still think your God made it?
roflmaodue 3 months ago
@roflmaodue Yes.
dzsquared1 1 month ago
To be christ like is to do good for others even though you don't feel like it , and even if no one on the whole planet ever knows you did it . That is a leap of faith and that act will bring a blessing on you . And just like drops of water in the ocean ,each one comes together to make for a better life , but it is a process! You will need Gods help !
Kathydrel 4 months ago
That's similar to what's gonna happen when my parents die... How do you change who you are without 'God revealing himself to you'? I tried that route a few times and nothing changes. I'm not saying it's the wrong route to take; it just didn't work for me and it pisses me off when people constantly grate at your mind trying to convince you that 'Jesus is the way!' and giving no solid proof. I'm getting angry just thinking about it.
Anyway, how do you change yourself?
happyorangeanimation 4 months ago
Forgiveness through Jesus Christ ,for others as well as for ourselves is the only way out of this living hell. The bible has the answer to every question
Kathydrel 4 months ago
@Kathydrel Amen!! I was just feeling like shouting that out after watching almost all these videos. When the Lord sets you free from whatever the bondage is, you are FREE indeed!
angrybear86 4 months ago
@Kathydrel This is a mental illness. We tried God and he ended up ripping off his clothes and running down the street scream "God Take Me". Not to mention the time he drove his motorcycle off a cliff and when he got up ran into a ambulance head first. Might I add that he was speaking in a strange voice religious words and bible quotes. He was feeling at the TOP of his spiritualism at the time. Religion isn't the answer for this mental illness or a demon possession. Sorry,
fancyfrenchy 2 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@Whatever3252 lol thanks for clearing that up.
katards 5 months ago
I have NPD but I believe if people knew the cause of it they wouldn't be so harsh. The narcissist felt they were dehumanised at a very young age, never had the opportunities to have their needs met and so rail against the world because of the injustice of it.
jafka633 5 months ago
@jafka633 Often wife beatters had an abusive father too, that doesn't mean that they shouldn't take responsibity. I came from a chaotic home, I don't abuse ppl in any way, emotionally, or physically, nor do I choose to b w/ lovers that do so to me. Yes everything has a cause, we r not all in the same boat, & can't b expected to turn out equally decent, nevertheless ppl should take some accounatbility 4 themselves at some point, & I have no sympathy 4 some1 who doesn't TRY to b better.
gluecube 5 months ago
@jafka633 I feel sorry for the little kidl that was once them but, even though an abuser, criminal, & crazy person is often abused. Not all ppl that come from that envirornment turn out that way. While ppl who come from that should b granted more mercy, they shouldn't b above judgement. When the victim becomes the abuser they deserve to b punished, just as the 1 b4 them did. My sympathy lies more w/ the person who FIGHTS against the cycle, not some1 who whines & does the same thing done to them.
gluecube 5 months ago
@jafka633 I can't remember any particular event that led me to feel dehumanized but since a young age I often was hurt by the most mundane actions/responses of other people, and this led me to think that I was better than them because I was more "sensitive/considerate". I'm happy that I've discovered these videos to separate my healthy thoughts from the hurtful ones, but I also feel a bit exposed and suspicious of myself now. How can we overcome the injustice feelings? I am immersed in them.
winston944 5 months ago
My husband's mother is a sociopath (Somatic Narcissists) who made her fame off the fame of my husband's father (her former husband). She is a monster, but to most in the public she is "kind and warm". She keeps up constantly mess behind the scenes and always has others to do her dirty work, while she feign "victim."She repeatedly molested her son as a child and believes he is her mate, thus attempts to annihilate every woman in it. He is an NPD too, created by her.
blueguise23 5 months ago
@blueguise23 See? Almost all these NPD peeps do that stupid facad infront of the public. NEVER will they do it at home.
moonbeam1113 4 months ago
What is the difference between a narcissist and a psychopath?
katards 6 months ago
Hmm, what's the difference between "accusing" and just simply telling the truth when parents have been abusive & narcissistic?
TyrannySue 6 months ago
My narcissist ex's parents died not long ago and I was curious about how it affected him, so this is interesting. He was raised in a rigidly conformist Christian family. His father and grandfather were Ns, and two of his siblings. His family appeared normal and "successful." Outsiders had no idea how fucked-up they were and probably wouldn't believe it. I knew them for 35 years, since I was 20, but do not miss them. Like him, they made me out to be crazy to preserve their false image.
asynkronos 6 months ago 2
@myyrkat42 We r so alike. We can't be friends tho because it's only me in this world and no-one will get in my way. I lost my parents both last year. I faked my tears at the funerals to keep in with everybody else. I do miss them but i have freedom now too and i have become a man and not a boy. I do fell back in old habits of being a boy and men. I deserrve credit in this world and i will be popular.
neil22100 6 months ago
@myyrkat42 I'm the survivor of a narcissistic parent. And through years of battling to have my own feelings validated, I discovered the ultimate weapon in the war for self-worth against the narcissist: to reflect their narcissism back at them.
How I would handle you is the same as reminding you that your opinions, your needs, aren't worth shit. I would relish in your contempt and hatred for me, since to be loved by you is insulting in itself, considering how inconsequential your life is.
Imperativism 7 months ago 2
@rationalheretic is that not a form of abuse in itself? they provide their kids with an unrealistic sense of reality, and treat them as objects to be overindulged rather than individuals
ProducShuns 8 months ago
Is there any possibility at this point to change the narcissistic person. I knew a narc who lost both parents within a short space of time. I wonder if there was a window of intervention
Riversleigh1 10 months ago
@Riversleigh1 No its not possible! The Narcissist has to want to change his or herself! Their biggest struggle in this case will be to let go of the past. Even though their parents weren't perfect, they themselves are not perfect either! Its hard to see that when your in a relationship that is primarly dominated by a desire to control!
DrmCom2003 6 months ago
I myself, have all but completely stop contact with mine. I working with a therapist to overcome my past and become a better person than my parents, ever were. I feel better lately, and a lot more assertive than aggressive control that use to display. I now look forward to ever day now, happy and working on being happy but for real. I've realised that my parent never were good people and I can let them die in mind, just as they will later on. I do still worry about my sister, though.
TheMusicalSense 1 year ago
My soon-to-be-ex-wife probably has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), although she has not been diagnosed by a professional. I see a similar dynamic at work within her.
luv2bud 1 year ago
being a narcissist must be a really sad, terrifying, neurotic experience. at least subonsciously
DropDeadCouture 1 year ago 2
is it possible if you have been neglected in somewhat understandable circumstances, combined with consciousness (even if not as high as yourself's) that you can feel more elated then once again abandoned or tormented.
also is isnt it a paradox in npd to be stuck in a time capsule of emotion, if i read between the lines correctly, and so un empathic? i would greatly appreciate an answer. thankyou
tewoldinho 1 year ago
See my video about narcissists and evil.
samvaknin 1 year ago
Are narcissists evil?
Indigos8rboi 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@Indigos8rboi evil does not exist, it's a form of extreme ego.
yocbjone 11 months ago
Good to see you here, Doug!
samvaknin 1 year ago
Sam this helps me understand a few things better
cheers Doug Payne
coomadoug 1 year ago
Thank you for posting these videos. You are right on target, I think.
scottdavene 1 year ago
Good video
GodSheLoves 1 year ago