Wow, I've seen some of your other videos and couldn't have imagined this was in your past. Might even not have believed it if you hadn't shown your scars. I'll be honest and say that I don't really understand the mental mechanisms that lead to self-cutting but as someone with numerous OCD-like behaviours I can sort of acknowledge that we all have our mental quirks, and if they happen to actually threaten someones health, the best response is to offer help, not bullying :s
Glad you fought your way through. It's great, your message, and I hope it makes ppl think before they act. You should share the ways you coped in a book, perhaps. You have many listeners and followers and I'm sure you have good advice.
Dear Lilium, Please take this message as constructive criticism and I hope you never cut yourself again but I think that after all of your inspiring videos that when people heard this it shattered their illusion of who you are. You were always upbeat and full of life and love and when we saw you talking about cutting yourself it showed us a destructive and unexpected side of you. Remember your Father in heaven loves you and will never leave you. He will be here until the stars fade into the past
@Mr5cylinders But you see, I don't want people to have an image of me that is not true, I want to be myself and this is who I am today, created by my past, where I have been and what I have done. From all the pain came this opputunity to show others who are in the same situation that I have been, to know that they are not alone. Like I have said before I am a very frank person and I'm not afraid to talk about this subject that people would rather forget and move past. :)
@LiliumCandidum27 I get that I guess it was just disconcerting to see a nice girl like you hurting themselves that way. Please don't do it again. I found a better way to alleviate frustration is to hit a punching bag or shoot some targets with a gun. Very therapeutic and safer than cutting or maiming yourself. God Bless
@Mr5cylinders I completely understand your concern and i appreciate it :) I didn't know how to relieve myself in others ways but found a lot of help in kognitive therapy. Thx for the advices, that's why I'm addicted to exercising, cause it gets my happy feelings flowing :) God bless you too :)
i unertand hwat u went through and im sorry and all and i realize that people that watch this video could realate but i dont and u should make more informational vids
Huh, I don't believe it -_- There's so many ignorant people saying that self harming is pathetic and isn't a real problem... but isn't the fact that, as soon as someone mentions it, loads of people leave such offensive comments a problem in itself? It's this kind of lack of understanding that just creates more problems that we shouldn't have to deal with. People just aren't empathetic enough, it's... well, pathetic.
@angelwidplaguez 1s.t of all this video is for helping people who are cutting, not for people to look at me and feel sorry for me. I'm over this whole issue myself. 2nd of all, the only one feeding off attention here is you. Pls back off my channel, and stop writing ignorant comments :)
The beauty of stuff on the internet, is you can walk on by and no one would even know. Unless you post a comment on a person's youtube channel. That gets you attention.. irony.. maybe.
Besides cutting what are some other common "shameful" habits, hobbies, an practies? We shoul compile a list so people can see there are usually so many other who do the same thing that they probably shouldn't feel shame.
I can't believe some of the ignorance in these comments. As though depression severe enough to cause cutting is just something that you decide to do one day. It's a mental illness, and an addiction. You can't just say "Smarten up and stop cutting" any more than you can tell a smoker to just quit cold turkey. It's a real issue, and it deserves real attention. Thank you, Lillium, for your honesty and bravery in posting this.
@QualityJeverage No it isn't. Smoking is an extremely strong physical dependency on a substance, nicotine. Stopping cold turkey is orders of magnitude harder than not shoving a knife into your arm.
@Roflcopter4b Can you hear me back there in the 50's? We have a far better understanding of mental illness now, perhaps you should do some reading; There's no excuse for that kind of ignorance nowadays.
Smoking is an addiction. So is cutting. So are most things, speaking strictly technologically. This is just a bit of armchair science, but it's not difficult to understand. We become addicted to chemicals (Such as dopamine) released by our brain. (cont...)
@Roflcopter4b (cont...) As always, these chemicals have their purpose, but things can go wrong, and we can become addicted to practices or behaviours (Or indeed substances, such as drugs) that cause or alter their release. We're particularly susceptible to it during the teenage years, an especially vulnerable stage of development.
There is no room for opinion. This is science, and you can back it up with fact in 30 seconds of research. Dismissing this legitimate issue is ignorant and harmful.
@QualityJeverage This is what is called a psychological addiction, that is an addiction based around doing something we enjoy, verses a physical addiction based on a foreign substance such as heroin or nicotine. Psychological addictions have very, very minor withdrawal symptoms compared to physical addictions.
@Roflcopter4b The physiological dependancy on nicotine is much lower than you might think, and any withdrawel symptomes cease after maxium three weeks. The psycological dependancy, in case of nicotine stimulated through a process of learned behaviour, can last much longer than that and is much harder to overcome, and is part of why people may take up smoking again month or even years after they quit. (to be continued)
@Borstian Cutting yourself in certain situation is, if done repeatedly over an extended period of time, also a case of learned behaviour. Thus, it is likely to be similarly difficult to overcome as any other mainly psycological addiction.
THANKYOU for you bravery & our honesty Lilium......My question is ( if I'm not being too probing into your private self) Does ''cutting'' have any thing to do with any sexual abuse? AND....its amazing that such a stunning beauty as yourself would want to hurt your beautiful body & being.....( Thanks) P.S.- Glad your OK
The people talking shit have honestly never been there, I've personally never cut but I've dealt with depression for a good part of my life and still do. Keep your head up. Love your videos. <3
Thank you for sharing this with us. I wish I could give you a big hug right now!! I appreciate you wanting to help others with your own experiences....I have a lot of empathy for you and what you went through and I thank you for wanting to help others with your story. God bless!
You are a very sweet person to do something this kind. I have been a cutter, just wrists but i was very depressed. My friends wouldn't hang around with me because I would be no fun. My boyfriend at the time, who is now still my boyfriend was my biggest help. I broke through the restless, tearful nights because i got support. What your doing is giving these people support. I admire you greatly<3. If i had seen this video a year ago it would have impacted me hugely. Your an inspiration!
@LiliumCandidum27 Not only is he ignorant, he's a moron... Speaks to people on the internet like they're books he's read. He should know he can't possibly know about someones life unless he actually knows them.
@Roflcopter4b Cutting is not a first world problem. That's like saying suicide is not a first world problem, because cutting is basically gradual suicide.
Omg thank you so much Lilium ! im really depressive since 3-4 months and ive been cutting/burning/scratching so i searched for help and i found ur vid :] it helped me A LOT i called a suicide prevention hotline talked to a psychologist and one of my friends who as the same problems saw i was acting differently so she spoke to me about it and now were so close to each other ! We helped each other a lot and now both of us feel waaaay better than we did before .. :)
taboo? nah, it was somthing to shut up the loud echoing screams within my head. sometimes music is good, but when its somthing really bothering me and i couldnt shut my mind up and it begain to drive me crazy and give me headache just cut my inner forarm and outer upper arm. but i found other things to cope with my problems :)
I used to be a cutter and self injurer, I used to set goals that I knew I could never accomplish and they just drove me to a dark time in my life. I would cut, scratch, bite or punch myself because I wanted so badly to be someone I couldn't be. It's been 6 long years since I last cut or self injured and it's thanks to my best friend that I'm here today. Thanks so much for making this video, it means a lot.
I used to cut myself w a tomatoes knife and bite myself severely... I did it because when i was angered past a certain point there had to be a sacrifice in the form of blood... I didn't want to hurt anyone else/be imprisoned so I took it out on myself... there was a deep connection w the blood... almost or actually to a demonic level for me anyway... attention never had anything to do w it... as u said I was ashamed of it and very embarrassed
I cant imagine myself sharing something so intimate with so many people, so I think It is so big of you to share your experience like this so other people with the same problem can identify and find the courage to get help too. I'm glad you got over it! Keep whispering ;)
Bless you for doing this video. People who have never been cutters don't understand why we do it, and label us as freaks and attention seekers. It amazes me how many people out there are or have been cutters. It's never been talked about much because mental illness and addictions are looked at so negatively in the world.
Lilium, I commend you for having the courage to talk about a such a serious and sensitive problem, especially from someone who has experienced this first hand. I am so happy that you are recovered and telling others to get help. You are a very beautiful & bright young woman. I wish you peace & happiness!
Hey so I know this kid who cuts himself, because he showed me once when we were drunk. I don't know what to do because im not THAT close to him, but i wana help him out...
You shouldn't be ashamed.....you're a special person who brings joy to over 240,000 folks on youtube.....not to mention all the friend and maybe family around you. I'm glad to hear you're recovered from cutting.....i've only heard of it, but seeing your scars and also having been listening to you to relax for several months made it hit home. I wish you the best, it's good that you're sharing your story with others......if nobody learns from the past, they will be doomed to repeat it. thank yo
OMG lilium i cried when you said you did that! Your so sweet and a lovely spiritual person i couldn't believe it! however you are so calm and collected that it made me feel better about myself doing that. im so glad you got help and it inspired me to get help. now your videos help ME through my cutting. :) thank you!
Very informative video. Glad to hear you were able to overcome this struggle. Btw, what your 'friends' did was wrong. I don't understand why ppl are so quick to judge others and so quick to bring them down. Fake friends are like shadows: always near you at your brightest moments, but nowhere to be seen at your darkest hour.
Lilian, I think you are a beautiful and brave woman. I became an orphan at age 16 in 2008 when my mom was killed by a drunk driver. My dad was never in my life but died of an aneurism in 2004, and my brother in 2009. what you have done in sharing is courageous and takes a lot of heart. I still struggle with letting people in based on the fear of losing them or them finding out something which they don't like and leaving. I struggled with cutting for over a year and have yet to share that til now
I spent most of my high school years cutting. I was ashamed when my mother found out what I was doing it but also grateful because that meant that I didn't have to hide how depressed I was. For me cutting felt as if I was letting my emotions seep out through the cuts. It took a lot of love and care from my parents but I was able to make my life better. I have not cut myself in over a year. Thank you for sharing your personal story I know it was not easy.
I admire your courage because it takes a lot of guts to do what you've done here. Cutting yourself is very personal and even though you have moved on from that entire ordeal (which I find very inspiring) it takes a very confident person to do what you have done with this video. Even though I don't know you, the only thing I know about you is that your voice has healing abilities for any who listen to it, I don't know you and yet I just want to tell you that I'm proud of you ;)
Ive had problems with this lately.. i use it when im depressed or have seriously upset someone, i just punish myself...it just helps to see im not the only one sometimes, thankyou
Age is not the case here its the peron that matters. Its us the people who are in trouble with ourselves. And we need other ppl who will take the time to care. We were put here for a reason so we should care about eachother. And lilium i think you are a prime example of what iam trying to say. You care about your subs thats why you make us videos. And in return we care about you its the right thing to do. Stay sweet!! Melanie
I can understand where your coming from. I feel and felt the pain of life. I agree with you its not seeking attention. Its such a very very deep pain no one could ever really understand. It was very hard for me to be incontroll with what i did. I did both cut and burned. I did something like that because i was abused really bad. I think you just cant always explain. Anyway feeling alone dosent help me even now its hard. Iam okay now. Thx for listening to me Melanie
That was very brave of you to share this with us. I told you before I spent a month in a coma battling H1N1 this year, only to wake and find my wife wanted a divorce. I may be down but certainly not out! My experience is making me more positive and I will never contemplate suicide as it would only hurt my parents and undo all the hard work the hospital staff put in, saving my life. All the best, lass.
i know exactly how you feel. i stopped cutting two years ago but the evidence never goes away. even now i get really.. just uncomfortable when ppl say things like "do you cut yourself!" it just...puts me in defense mode.. makes it harder to..just show myself. even 2 years later.
This comment has received too many negative votesshow
I hate having people show me there self harming issues.. sorry to hear you had the problems, but seriously everyone has problems BELIEVE me ... and to self harm is like a slap across the face for everyone else who has worse problem than you.
i dont mean to be brash and rude... but I think self harmers should change there perspective on life and others around them.
@SirwanMe It's not possible to COMPARE people like that. Everyone has problems, and some have problems with cutting and some have problems with other things. And they do change their perspective if they want to, but you cannot force them to see the good in a world that maybe has taken away all good in their lives. Just saying this video is about cutting, not a competition of who feels the worst. It's about awereness. :)
@SirwanMe Got a lot to say eh ? Thing is what you say is all pish yeah pish i admire this young girl so so much i dont know how i came across this vid but i'm so happy i did..Lillium sweetheart i dont really know about self harm but you over came it and are now helping other's and i admire that in you haters gonna hate you just keep on doing what you're doing babe YOU ARE an inspiration you are not emo you're cool and very real big massive hugs hunnie from Scotland Lillium keep on helping Xxx.
@sixchildren100 BTW you are so right you are not just a girl...You are a VERY special girl with so much to offer other kids who self harm and you're a lil Dimond (((...
@SirwanMe What do you know. There are all different types mate. Some people end up handling problems differently. People struggle with change everyday... it's harder for some people.
There's so much shame that comes with this but what people need to realize is that it's an illness like any other. At least in my opinion. This is a mental illness and I wish more people like yourself would come out and talk about it more. I'm glad your well.
All part of being human. Though I never did anything like that, I know the pain (emotionally). Now that I'm through all the problems of the past, "psychologist" keeps popping up as a top job I would be qualified for. lol.
lol @yahoo-im-a-fucking-ignorant-douchebag-pig and his, you guessed it, fucking ignorant douchebag comments. I rarely curse so much in such little amount of words.
Hiya, I once had a good friend who cut herself a lot and wouldn't talk too much about it, for reasons you've explained. She broke contact with me quite some time ago during one of her darker spells. It was very hard to work out how and if I could/should help particularly if they don't really want to talk about either the symptomatic cutting or the deeper cause. I really hope she found the right people/person to talk to and got some help - maybe she found someone like you to help.
I am used to seeing people cut themselves. Kinda weird in the fact that if I was to do it I would say "WTF AM I DOING THIS FOR, GEEZ" but im not depressed so I can not conceive how you feel. Others say I have a horrid life but I think positive about everything which is rare.
Had 2 different gfs that were cutters both times I ended up having to confront them about it then ended up taking the kits they used when like they went to the bathroom or sumtin the one broke up with me cause I was trying to stop her and she said I didn't understand but the other actuly did stop after I like pretty much talked to her about her problems for a month straight
Lilium - thank you for being so honest and generous with this video. I was in a relationship for many years with a woman who cut. It was such a struggle to give her the kind of support that she needed, and I felt so completely powerless to help her.
Thank you for shedding light on the psychology of this devastating condition. I wish my ex had known you and your story.
I lost a friend to this nearly 7 years ago, having qualified 2 years before that as a psychologist I was really pissed off that I couldn't help her. Not enough is understood about this.
wanting to know more about this subject, i found an article in wikipedia on 'Self-harm', also called Self-inflicted Violence. i also found an article on the etiology, whose author says that although severe childhood abuse often leads to self injury, the reverse isn't the case: ie, not all cutters were abused children. but he did say a common thread in their experience was 'invalidation', meaning the somtimes unintentional disavowal of the child's intense feelings.
@yahoopig - is that how you get people to check out your lame ass mid-life crisis channel with your two subscribers? Pretty sad if you ask me. Maybe it's you who needs help. Keep rotting your brain with those stupid f'n fear mongering zeitgeist movies on YouTube.
@LiliumCandidum27 Good luck to you. If you need attention, posting videos on this site will not help. Get a job, get a life, then be like me and make fun of the losers on youtube
1. As the title says "experience and knowledge"... Lilium was sharing her exp and providing help to those who cope with the same problems or used to and can now find a propper place to put all that behind them.
2. If I'm not mistaken Lilium is still a student and already way more succesful than you'll ever be (in terms of being human for starters).
3. Don't project your own failure onto someone else.
4. She had problems, just like you have yours, but at least she faced them and has overcome them.
5. Lilium is here to help whereas you're just here to make a fool out of yourself and hurt others.
Either way, I figure it would be rude of me not to offer assistance. So if you need to get something of your chest, feel free to send me a message and I'll listen.
why you even answered this user? Your "Thumb Up" clicks makes his comment more famous then it should be. :)
Your Video: I had a good friendship breaking up on stuff like that. To make it short. She was cutting herself too and at the point she was getting Help she didn´t feel any better for some reason. As I tried to help her again, she was the one who broke up the contact to me. Sad but true :( Glad you got away from that. I like your videos a lot "Thumb up" :)
Sorry the place in the Comment before wasn´t enough. What i wanted to answer. I think your Video is really interesting because it is as you say. Many People don´t understand why some others cutting themselfs. Even I learned some new things in your Video about why they´re doing that. So instead of making Jokes about it, just start to think how you could help a Person if you recognize Stuff like that in the circle of your Friends, Family etc.
@yahoopig what the hell man, Lilium opened up and told everyone about what she went through. shes helping people, doing a good thing. Your just an ass hole i think your the one that needs to get help.
I honestly feel sorry for you. I sincerely hope you get help or you might hurt more people, yourself included. You could try to understand or at least show some respect. Such a subject is never an easy thing to talk about, keep that in mind.
As for me, I completely understand what you went through and I'm very happy you're alright and are able to talk about it =). I also did such things when I felt like I needed to get away from the things I couldn't deal with in the real world.
What saved me so to speak was reading books about positive thinking. That's what changed my life completely. It made me realise that life is too precious to waste on negative emotions. There's not much space for that and whatever the situation you're in, something positive will always come out of it.
@yahoopig you are so shallow. She opens up & shares this and bc she has the BALLS to admit she had a problem (notice I sad "had", she clearly states she got over the problem) u look down on her now? So basically she doesn't live up to your expectations anymore simply because she told the truth & is trying to help ppl? Clean out the wax from your ears and actually listen to the video before leaving a comment like that next time k?
@Cristalraindrops Opens up? Grandstanding on youtube is a fucking laugh for an attention seeking pshycho. STFU fuck off and keep your stupid replies to yourself you fucking cunt
@yahoopig You know, I thought MAYBE you would have the decency to realize you heard her wrong and that she NO LONGER has a problem, but instead you feel better hating on ppl instead. Everyone has problems, and apparently you have tourettes syndrome. (I have an idea you don't know what that is so look it up) I'm not the only one who's pissed at you for your comments to her. In the end, I'm glad u unsub. She doesn't need assholes like u looking at her videos.
@yahoopig Its people like you who influence and show how human beings are a pathetic lot. I'm sorry you are so damn perfect that you care not for other peoples feelings or concerns. it is you who should seek help.
@yahoopig my god you're an ignorant jackass. When people do cutting and other forms of self injury (as they have for centuries across cultures btw) it means that the brain is unable to cope with severe psychic pain without the release of endorphins that blood loss can provide. That's to be pitied, not shunned. At least they're taking it out on themselves rather than somebody else.
my relative who used to cut himself when he was younger, grew up in a quiet house with no ostensible crises, where everything was outwardly calm. i think he is okay now, not sure, but he's married with two kids and seems pretty stable. by contrast, my housemate grew up in a loud household, and she lived through war and attempted genocide, many relatives killed. she's also more fragile than she let's on, but responds to stress differently, not a cutter. my ignorance about humanity alarms me.
this gives me lotsa questions. if people who cut themselves are mostly secretive about it, presumably they are not 'learning' the behavior from others, just spontaneously discovering it — correct? and yet it's epidemic. so i wonder, of all the people who suffer emotionally, what makes some respond with cutting themselves and others in other ways. could it be related to a dearth of sensation in the immediate social environment? i wish i understood more. thanks lilium.
this was very interesting. i always wondered what the cutter GETS OUT of cutting themselves, and your description of watching the blood pour out of you really helped me to understand the object of such a behavior. Thank you for posting this. I also wanted to ask you... have you ever studied Yoga, and if so, was it helpful on your path to recovery from self injury?
I used to be one of those people who didn't understand this and took the piss. After this video I will try to get all my friends to change as I have. Thank you Lilium <3
I cut myself a lot about a year ago when I was depressed. I'm over it and am happy. Recently I lost a very close friend and cut again. I remember you posting this video so I went and listened to it again and it REALLY helped me out. Thank you so much for having the courage to post this. I think I'm going to talk to a friend about this, because although I do want to keep it inside, I'm afraid that keeping it to myself this time will cause more harm than good. Again, thank you. You are wonderful.
This was very educational, and quite inspiring. You are right, people often will put others up on a pedestal, and often it's based on limited knowledge and understanding or perceptions of that person. You're not perfect, and nobody is, you're so right. What you do almost perfectly however is to share your experiences and try to help others benefit from them. That takes courage, grace, dignity and strength of character. I truly applaude you for all you do here young lady. Thank you! ((HUGS))
An old friend of mine was always such a happy caracter in the outside world. Never knew she was harming herself behind that happy shield. I was so surprised an sad when i heard that she commited suicide after multible attempts. So unreal... She did it because she thought she didnt deserve to be happy. Such a terrible illness and it destroyes so many beautiful souls..
I'm glad that you are still with us today. Thank you for that.
I use to cut when I was 13 for many reasons. I have the scars now and it's crazy now to look at them at age 19 and to think that I was in so much pain that I wanted to do that to myself. I cover them with bracelets now but it's a harsh remembrance of the past when I accidentally get a glance at them every once in a while. Thank you for this video. It's a relief knowing that others have gone through similar situations that I have.
@FideTheProducer i have no emotion for anything and my life is fine, dont get me wrong i wouldnt wish nothing bad on anyone but im just sayin i live without emotion and think for me its a lot better
@ryan190485 If you had no emotion you would not have the rationale to do anything...nothing would matter to you. You wouldn't want to have sex, you wouldn't want a girlfriend, you wouldn't want or do anything...everything we do is driven by emotion and desires. Now of course people experience different amounts of emotion etc, but there is no such thing as havin no emotion.
It is absolutely amazing to hear you publicly share all of these huge problems you have gone thru in your life. So often, we hide, and are fearful of our problems...and any glimpse or thought of them makes us shutter.
But the best way, the ONLY way to overcome problems is to look them in the face, be aware of them, and vow with persistency to overcome them.
It literally brought tears to my eyes when you showed us your scars. That really takes some guts Lilum. I am truly happy for you
To publicly share something so incredibly intimate, personal and painful in an effort to help others shows real emotional courage. Such compassion is genuinely inspiring. Turns out you've beauty both inside and out!
@brianimator Thanks so much :) I really wanna bring this up, partly so all of you know that I am far from perfect and have struggled and still struggle, but mostly to bring attention on this taboo that is an increasingly problem for kids and adults.
Thanks for your comments. I've known a few people who have cut themselves. They all have explained it as a way of coping with extreme physical and/or mental pain. Sharing this with others and providing a point of contact to discuss it can be very helpful.
There is a very nice song about this subject, look for Plumb - Cut on youtube to hear it.... I think you are very brave to talk about this on youtube. You've become a very stable and nice person. Roy, USA
If you can't put yourself in other peoples shoes, than you have a problem. It's called a lack of empathy, and it's because empathy takes a back seat in our modern culture.
I have never cut myself, nor would I, but I can see where people with these problems come from. A habit is a habit. I may not fully understand it, but I am not ignorant to it. Most of you commenters down there make me sick with your uneducated attacks on this very real issue.
When I was in primary school there use to be this girl who had autism and if anybody said blood or something along the lines she would cry cover her ears and her mum would have to pick her up half way through the day. And once I dropped my pencil and she thought it was hers so she started flipping tables and then I said "WTF are you doing you crazy bitch" and I got deep shit for an out burst that was obv offensive to her.
Lilium, i would rather do this than have what i have. I have Anti Social Personality Disorder. I am what the world calls a Sociopath. I have no emotions. I feed off of the weak and the strong. I am the cancer of the world. Be glad you can choose the disease you have. I have a brain disorder, there is no pill, no amount of therapy or hospitalization will ever fix me. But at the same time i dont want to be fixed. Be thankful you can feel anything, Zach.
@RENOGUY777 That word is only used to describe what little we actually know about that particular disorder, nothing on that subject is final. We dont even fully understand where emotions come from. And people dont choose habits (which is not the problem you speak of), habits choose people. For example, I couldnt be an alcoholic because I hate how I feel after I drink. On the other hand, certian "herbs" get along with me, and in turn, I have had issues with them.
@rage1331 I am just saying my opinion, i would not understand it anyway because i dont care about anyone. And "herbs" get along with me as well, i just use it in moderation. So i suppose we are wasting time, because i will never understand you, and you will never understand me. And dont tell me about my disorder, i had to be tested and watched ever since i was about 15. It takes years for them to "officially" diagnose you with ASPD, It took them 3 years to diagnose me.
@RENOGUY777 I'm not saying I know what it's like or anything like that, nor am I trying to tell you about your disorder, but mabey you should do some research on the human brain. What we know is extremely limited, skitched and skewed. For example, people like to say we only use 15% of our brains which is horribly untrue. "Science" as we see it today is only based on our current knowledge, and is ever changing. I was really trying to help you out more than anything, as I had a friend with ASPD.
@RENOGUY777 People with anti social personality have no rekognizion of their disease. How come you have? Or maybe you've just been forced to rekognize it? Btw I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and I have not chosen that. I have to live with it everyday but I'm getting stronger each year :) You're not cancer Zach, you're human. Sometimes I used to wish I couldn't feel anything cause it was so unbearable. Too much feeling but also no feeling is a curse.
This is a beautifull soul !! and it is makes you be more uman and more sweet person .... I love hhh
gfsdf123 1 week ago
You can get those lasered if you want, it would remove them.
NiteOwl1983 2 weeks ago
@NiteOwl1983 Nah that's not that effective if its some serious injuries.
slyinz 1 week ago
blood is thicker than water
Focxio 2 weeks ago
Wow, I've seen some of your other videos and couldn't have imagined this was in your past. Might even not have believed it if you hadn't shown your scars. I'll be honest and say that I don't really understand the mental mechanisms that lead to self-cutting but as someone with numerous OCD-like behaviours I can sort of acknowledge that we all have our mental quirks, and if they happen to actually threaten someones health, the best response is to offer help, not bullying :s
ShyAsmrGuy 3 weeks ago
Wow I'm so glad you're better. I was never a cutter but like you, I also had/have eating issues.
chamuda610 3 weeks ago
Glad you fought your way through. It's great, your message, and I hope it makes ppl think before they act. You should share the ways you coped in a book, perhaps. You have many listeners and followers and I'm sure you have good advice.
ironmama5 3 weeks ago
Dear Lilium, Please take this message as constructive criticism and I hope you never cut yourself again but I think that after all of your inspiring videos that when people heard this it shattered their illusion of who you are. You were always upbeat and full of life and love and when we saw you talking about cutting yourself it showed us a destructive and unexpected side of you. Remember your Father in heaven loves you and will never leave you. He will be here until the stars fade into the past
Mr5cylinders 4 weeks ago
@Mr5cylinders But you see, I don't want people to have an image of me that is not true, I want to be myself and this is who I am today, created by my past, where I have been and what I have done. From all the pain came this opputunity to show others who are in the same situation that I have been, to know that they are not alone. Like I have said before I am a very frank person and I'm not afraid to talk about this subject that people would rather forget and move past. :)
LiliumCandidum27 4 weeks ago 4
@LiliumCandidum27 I get that I guess it was just disconcerting to see a nice girl like you hurting themselves that way. Please don't do it again. I found a better way to alleviate frustration is to hit a punching bag or shoot some targets with a gun. Very therapeutic and safer than cutting or maiming yourself. God Bless
Mr5cylinders 3 weeks ago
@Mr5cylinders I completely understand your concern and i appreciate it :) I didn't know how to relieve myself in others ways but found a lot of help in kognitive therapy. Thx for the advices, that's why I'm addicted to exercising, cause it gets my happy feelings flowing :) God bless you too :)
LiliumCandidum27 3 weeks ago
i unertand hwat u went through and im sorry and all and i realize that people that watch this video could realate but i dont and u should make more informational vids
parkour91360 4 weeks ago
Oh great, looks like somebody left the door open and the trolls got in.
TheAdavids 1 month ago
its really cool you come back from far!
and now you are helping others ! this is great of you :)
you are giving us a lot of love with all your videos
you are so positive now !!! i hope you see how much peoples out there appreciate what you doing! take care :)
madtrade 1 month ago
Andy Mckee is awesome
MakeEveryMomentCount 1 month ago
Huh, I don't believe it -_- There's so many ignorant people saying that self harming is pathetic and isn't a real problem... but isn't the fact that, as soon as someone mentions it, loads of people leave such offensive comments a problem in itself? It's this kind of lack of understanding that just creates more problems that we shouldn't have to deal with. People just aren't empathetic enough, it's... well, pathetic.
You can't compare suffering. It is what it is.
JesterGrrl98 1 month ago
@JesterGrrl98
Please preach on, cause everything you just said is dead on.
No two people's true misery will ever be the same, so who should you say one is better than the other.
JAF30 4 weeks ago
i cant believe u did that to urself, ur so gorgeous!!, so ur pretty and crazy, my kind of girl
PsychedelicPigeon 1 month ago
This has been flagged as spam show
You're such a cliché that feeds off attention. People here who feel sorry for you are pathetic. They're just saying what you want them to say.
angelwidplaguez 1 month ago
@angelwidplaguez 1s.t of all this video is for helping people who are cutting, not for people to look at me and feel sorry for me. I'm over this whole issue myself. 2nd of all, the only one feeding off attention here is you. Pls back off my channel, and stop writing ignorant comments :)
LiliumCandidum27 1 month ago 13
@angelwidplaguez
The beauty of stuff on the internet, is you can walk on by and no one would even know. Unless you post a comment on a person's youtube channel. That gets you attention.. irony.. maybe.
JAF30 4 weeks ago
@angelwidplaguez it really has to be tough to be you, people without empathy really don't know what they are missing.
MrRefurbishedBrain 2 weeks ago
Sorry for asking but what kind of habit is cutting?
MsLola107 1 month ago
Besides cutting what are some other common "shameful" habits, hobbies, an practies? We shoul compile a list so people can see there are usually so many other who do the same thing that they probably shouldn't feel shame.
firstfamilyoffahrts 1 month ago
I can't believe some of the ignorance in these comments. As though depression severe enough to cause cutting is just something that you decide to do one day. It's a mental illness, and an addiction. You can't just say "Smarten up and stop cutting" any more than you can tell a smoker to just quit cold turkey. It's a real issue, and it deserves real attention. Thank you, Lillium, for your honesty and bravery in posting this.
QualityJeverage 1 month ago
@QualityJeverage No it isn't. Smoking is an extremely strong physical dependency on a substance, nicotine. Stopping cold turkey is orders of magnitude harder than not shoving a knife into your arm.
Roflcopter4b 1 month ago
@Roflcopter4b Can you hear me back there in the 50's? We have a far better understanding of mental illness now, perhaps you should do some reading; There's no excuse for that kind of ignorance nowadays.
Smoking is an addiction. So is cutting. So are most things, speaking strictly technologically. This is just a bit of armchair science, but it's not difficult to understand. We become addicted to chemicals (Such as dopamine) released by our brain. (cont...)
QualityJeverage 1 month ago
@Roflcopter4b (cont...) As always, these chemicals have their purpose, but things can go wrong, and we can become addicted to practices or behaviours (Or indeed substances, such as drugs) that cause or alter their release. We're particularly susceptible to it during the teenage years, an especially vulnerable stage of development.
There is no room for opinion. This is science, and you can back it up with fact in 30 seconds of research. Dismissing this legitimate issue is ignorant and harmful.
QualityJeverage 1 month ago
@QualityJeverage This is what is called a psychological addiction, that is an addiction based around doing something we enjoy, verses a physical addiction based on a foreign substance such as heroin or nicotine. Psychological addictions have very, very minor withdrawal symptoms compared to physical addictions.
Roflcopter4b 1 month ago
@Roflcopter4b The physiological dependancy on nicotine is much lower than you might think, and any withdrawel symptomes cease after maxium three weeks. The psycological dependancy, in case of nicotine stimulated through a process of learned behaviour, can last much longer than that and is much harder to overcome, and is part of why people may take up smoking again month or even years after they quit. (to be continued)
Borstian 1 month ago
@Borstian Cutting yourself in certain situation is, if done repeatedly over an extended period of time, also a case of learned behaviour. Thus, it is likely to be similarly difficult to overcome as any other mainly psycological addiction.
Borstian 1 month ago
*Your bravery & your honesty*
TheDANNYBOYDANCER 1 month ago
THANKYOU for you bravery & our honesty Lilium......My question is ( if I'm not being too probing into your private self) Does ''cutting'' have any thing to do with any sexual abuse? AND....its amazing that such a stunning beauty as yourself would want to hurt your beautiful body & being.....( Thanks) P.S.- Glad your OK
TheDANNYBOYDANCER 1 month ago
The people talking shit have honestly never been there, I've personally never cut but I've dealt with depression for a good part of my life and still do. Keep your head up. Love your videos. <3
OrlyYaRlyK 1 month ago
Thank you for sharing this with us. I wish I could give you a big hug right now!! I appreciate you wanting to help others with your own experiences....I have a lot of empathy for you and what you went through and I thank you for wanting to help others with your story. God bless!
tinytina333 1 month ago
You are a very sweet person to do something this kind. I have been a cutter, just wrists but i was very depressed. My friends wouldn't hang around with me because I would be no fun. My boyfriend at the time, who is now still my boyfriend was my biggest help. I broke through the restless, tearful nights because i got support. What your doing is giving these people support. I admire you greatly<3. If i had seen this video a year ago it would have impacted me hugely. Your an inspiration!
tranquillitywhispers 1 month ago
I Have to know!...do you listen to August Burns Red?
fulmer6 1 month ago
damn the scars are shocking i never tough you'd have theme but glad to see see you overcame it
m3xicanrebel 1 month ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
First world problems. I laughed.
Roflcopter4b 1 month ago
@Roflcopter4b First hand ignorance. I pity you :)
LiliumCandidum27 1 month ago 27
@LiliumCandidum27 Not only is he ignorant, he's a moron... Speaks to people on the internet like they're books he's read. He should know he can't possibly know about someones life unless he actually knows them.
icepikoftime 1 month ago
@LiliumCandidum27 You tell em.
s143658 1 month ago
@Roflcopter4b Cutting is not a first world problem. That's like saying suicide is not a first world problem, because cutting is basically gradual suicide.
Shockman458 1 month ago
what is cutting? :P
MrSkme 1 month ago
@MrSkme when a person cuts there skin, manly from depression. A horrible thing hon!
tranquillitywhispers 1 month ago
Princess...
mauriciorapdo 1 month ago
You're so cute..
artoprecords 1 month ago
Omg thank you so much Lilium ! im really depressive since 3-4 months and ive been cutting/burning/scratching so i searched for help and i found ur vid :] it helped me A LOT i called a suicide prevention hotline talked to a psychologist and one of my friends who as the same problems saw i was acting differently so she spoke to me about it and now were so close to each other ! We helped each other a lot and now both of us feel waaaay better than we did before .. :)
Thanks Again -3
Azirockurworld 1 month ago
taboo? nah, it was somthing to shut up the loud echoing screams within my head. sometimes music is good, but when its somthing really bothering me and i couldnt shut my mind up and it begain to drive me crazy and give me headache just cut my inner forarm and outer upper arm. but i found other things to cope with my problems :)
AbigailxAgonist 1 month ago
iam sorry that you suffered so much stay strong
adoro10 1 month ago in playlist Liked videos
And another time Andy McKee in the beginning..I like your taste of music. His playing combined with your talk gives me chills.
Gildrion 1 month ago
Candles in the background? Excellent touch!
xDaMiWORLDx 1 month ago
The fact that people do this to fight their depression is really sad to me ='( I hope everyone stuck with this will get help.
ZeGuyFly 1 month ago
I used to be a cutter and self injurer, I used to set goals that I knew I could never accomplish and they just drove me to a dark time in my life. I would cut, scratch, bite or punch myself because I wanted so badly to be someone I couldn't be. It's been 6 long years since I last cut or self injured and it's thanks to my best friend that I'm here today. Thanks so much for making this video, it means a lot.
baker099 1 month ago
I used to be a "Scratcher", I haven't scratched for a year now.
tickedoffnow 1 month ago
I used to cut myself w a tomatoes knife and bite myself severely... I did it because when i was angered past a certain point there had to be a sacrifice in the form of blood... I didn't want to hurt anyone else/be imprisoned so I took it out on myself... there was a deep connection w the blood... almost or actually to a demonic level for me anyway... attention never had anything to do w it... as u said I was ashamed of it and very embarrassed
TheDatfatrat 1 month ago
I cant imagine myself sharing something so intimate with so many people, so I think It is so big of you to share your experience like this so other people with the same problem can identify and find the courage to get help too. I'm glad you got over it! Keep whispering ;)
Sofiz18 1 month ago
Bless you for doing this video. People who have never been cutters don't understand why we do it, and label us as freaks and attention seekers. It amazes me how many people out there are or have been cutters. It's never been talked about much because mental illness and addictions are looked at so negatively in the world.
Anyway, thank you. :)
Jlsc477 1 month ago
Lilium, I commend you for having the courage to talk about a such a serious and sensitive problem, especially from someone who has experienced this first hand. I am so happy that you are recovered and telling others to get help. You are a very beautiful & bright young woman. I wish you peace & happiness!
Alfonso
aizagui 2 months ago in playlist More videos from LiliumCandidum27
Its the scars left behind that bother me most, because they will be there forever and I hate explaining to people :(
Shningpolaris 2 months ago
I wish I knew someone who need emotional support. I can't explain it but I want to "be there" for someone.
HybridD91 2 months ago
Hey so I know this kid who cuts himself, because he showed me once when we were drunk. I don't know what to do because im not THAT close to him, but i wana help him out...
callmefletcher 2 months ago
Hmm... Maybe you ARE Goddess
nir8vana 2 months ago
Those scars are pretty intense.
I've got some pretty bad scars that have built up over the years, a few required sutures.
I'm glad you're in a better place, I'm still progressing towards self-actualization and becoming more of a functional person.
Best of luck, if you'd like private message me. You seem to be an interesting person, I'd be glad to converse :D
HoboJIm117 2 months ago
I just felt pathetic and stupid when I tried it with a shaving razor but I can understand it I do it in my mind
NexCarnifex 2 months ago
You shouldn't be ashamed.....you're a special person who brings joy to over 240,000 folks on youtube.....not to mention all the friend and maybe family around you. I'm glad to hear you're recovered from cutting.....i've only heard of it, but seeing your scars and also having been listening to you to relax for several months made it hit home. I wish you the best, it's good that you're sharing your story with others......if nobody learns from the past, they will be doomed to repeat it. thank yo
pharmbuilder 2 months ago
OMG lilium i cried when you said you did that! Your so sweet and a lovely spiritual person i couldn't believe it! however you are so calm and collected that it made me feel better about myself doing that. im so glad you got help and it inspired me to get help. now your videos help ME through my cutting. :) thank you!
AvadaKedavra316 3 months ago
Very informative video. Glad to hear you were able to overcome this struggle. Btw, what your 'friends' did was wrong. I don't understand why ppl are so quick to judge others and so quick to bring them down. Fake friends are like shadows: always near you at your brightest moments, but nowhere to be seen at your darkest hour.
AlaskanWildernessMan 3 months ago
Lilian, I think you are a beautiful and brave woman. I became an orphan at age 16 in 2008 when my mom was killed by a drunk driver. My dad was never in my life but died of an aneurism in 2004, and my brother in 2009. what you have done in sharing is courageous and takes a lot of heart. I still struggle with letting people in based on the fear of losing them or them finding out something which they don't like and leaving. I struggled with cutting for over a year and have yet to share that til now
venom6392 3 months ago in playlist More videos from LiliumCandidum27
@venom6392 lilium, not lilian... thank you for allowing the opportunity to tell someone
venom6392 3 months ago in playlist More videos from LiliumCandidum27
I spent most of my high school years cutting. I was ashamed when my mother found out what I was doing it but also grateful because that meant that I didn't have to hide how depressed I was. For me cutting felt as if I was letting my emotions seep out through the cuts. It took a lot of love and care from my parents but I was able to make my life better. I have not cut myself in over a year. Thank you for sharing your personal story I know it was not easy.
jopers26 3 months ago
I admire your courage because it takes a lot of guts to do what you've done here. Cutting yourself is very personal and even though you have moved on from that entire ordeal (which I find very inspiring) it takes a very confident person to do what you have done with this video. Even though I don't know you, the only thing I know about you is that your voice has healing abilities for any who listen to it, I don't know you and yet I just want to tell you that I'm proud of you ;)
peter11venkmann 4 months ago
Ive had problems with this lately.. i use it when im depressed or have seriously upset someone, i just punish myself...it just helps to see im not the only one sometimes, thankyou
Joshywoshy4747 4 months ago
Age is not the case here its the peron that matters. Its us the people who are in trouble with ourselves. And we need other ppl who will take the time to care. We were put here for a reason so we should care about eachother. And lilium i think you are a prime example of what iam trying to say. You care about your subs thats why you make us videos. And in return we care about you its the right thing to do. Stay sweet!! Melanie
zerillimelanie9 5 months ago
I can understand where your coming from. I feel and felt the pain of life. I agree with you its not seeking attention. Its such a very very deep pain no one could ever really understand. It was very hard for me to be incontroll with what i did. I did both cut and burned. I did something like that because i was abused really bad. I think you just cant always explain. Anyway feeling alone dosent help me even now its hard. Iam okay now. Thx for listening to me Melanie
zerillimelanie9 5 months ago
Lilium you should make a series called real talk and do as the series is named
beniehead 5 months ago
That was very brave of you to share this with us. I told you before I spent a month in a coma battling H1N1 this year, only to wake and find my wife wanted a divorce. I may be down but certainly not out! My experience is making me more positive and I will never contemplate suicide as it would only hurt my parents and undo all the hard work the hospital staff put in, saving my life. All the best, lass.
markyhitch 5 months ago
I felt like you were telling my life story. Good, honest video.
Skitzabeth 5 months ago
whenever your depressed just think about the poor starving kids in Africa or the child laborers in China and try to remember how good you have it,
thekewlcat1 5 months ago
When I cut, I did it more for the visuals. Seeing the blood run out was much like a release for me. I never really did it to inflict pain on myself.
noahDnewport 5 months ago
i know exactly how you feel. i stopped cutting two years ago but the evidence never goes away. even now i get really.. just uncomfortable when ppl say things like "do you cut yourself!" it just...puts me in defense mode.. makes it harder to..just show myself. even 2 years later.
Ellesmala 6 months ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
I hate having people show me there self harming issues.. sorry to hear you had the problems, but seriously everyone has problems BELIEVE me ... and to self harm is like a slap across the face for everyone else who has worse problem than you.
i dont mean to be brash and rude... but I think self harmers should change there perspective on life and others around them.
SirwanMe 6 months ago
@SirwanMe It's not possible to COMPARE people like that. Everyone has problems, and some have problems with cutting and some have problems with other things. And they do change their perspective if they want to, but you cannot force them to see the good in a world that maybe has taken away all good in their lives. Just saying this video is about cutting, not a competition of who feels the worst. It's about awereness. :)
LiliumCandidum27 5 months ago 18
@SirwanMe Got a lot to say eh ? Thing is what you say is all pish yeah pish i admire this young girl so so much i dont know how i came across this vid but i'm so happy i did..Lillium sweetheart i dont really know about self harm but you over came it and are now helping other's and i admire that in you haters gonna hate you just keep on doing what you're doing babe YOU ARE an inspiration you are not emo you're cool and very real big massive hugs hunnie from Scotland Lillium keep on helping Xxx.
sixchildren100 3 months ago
@sixchildren100 BTW you are so right you are not just a girl...You are a VERY special girl with so much to offer other kids who self harm and you're a lil Dimond (((...
sixchildren100 3 months ago
@SirwanMe What do you know. There are all different types mate. Some people end up handling problems differently. People struggle with change everyday... it's harder for some people.
icepikoftime 1 month ago
There's so much shame that comes with this but what people need to realize is that it's an illness like any other. At least in my opinion. This is a mental illness and I wish more people like yourself would come out and talk about it more. I'm glad your well.
oWhisperingWillow 6 months ago
When is your Birthday?
The1SilentAngel1 6 months ago
P.S. I suffered from many problems in my lifetime. I myself have recovered from many especially addiction. Take one step (not day) at a time.
Shalom!
WhisperingScriptures 6 months ago
I am so sorry you suffered from this problem. I am glad to see you are recovered. You are a wonderful person and you stay strong my friend :o)
WhisperingScriptures 6 months ago
@WhisperingScriptures You stay strong too <3 :) Shalom ~
LiliumCandidum27 6 months ago
All part of being human. Though I never did anything like that, I know the pain (emotionally). Now that I'm through all the problems of the past, "psychologist" keeps popping up as a top job I would be qualified for. lol.
AnubisEye009 6 months ago
I admire you for this video. I've done it myself and regret it and feel I ashamed of it...but I also understand it.
kayleighlovesfilms 6 months ago
lol @yahoo-im-a-fucking-ignorant-douchebag-pig and his, you guessed it, fucking ignorant douchebag comments. I rarely curse so much in such little amount of words.
master00sniper 6 months ago
You are very brave Lilium! Thank you for opening up.
whisperflower 6 months ago
Hiya, I once had a good friend who cut herself a lot and wouldn't talk too much about it, for reasons you've explained. She broke contact with me quite some time ago during one of her darker spells. It was very hard to work out how and if I could/should help particularly if they don't really want to talk about either the symptomatic cutting or the deeper cause. I really hope she found the right people/person to talk to and got some help - maybe she found someone like you to help.
anglocelt1 6 months ago
I am used to seeing people cut themselves. Kinda weird in the fact that if I was to do it I would say "WTF AM I DOING THIS FOR, GEEZ" but im not depressed so I can not conceive how you feel. Others say I have a horrid life but I think positive about everything which is rare.
drunkcow90 6 months ago
Had 2 different gfs that were cutters both times I ended up having to confront them about it then ended up taking the kits they used when like they went to the bathroom or sumtin the one broke up with me cause I was trying to stop her and she said I didn't understand but the other actuly did stop after I like pretty much talked to her about her problems for a month straight
eichfeld007 6 months ago
Lilium - thank you for being so honest and generous with this video. I was in a relationship for many years with a woman who cut. It was such a struggle to give her the kind of support that she needed, and I felt so completely powerless to help her.
Thank you for shedding light on the psychology of this devastating condition. I wish my ex had known you and your story.
WhiskyWhispers 6 months ago
good job getting help before it went too far! and btw your really pretty :)
xTJxFTWx 6 months ago
I lost a friend to this nearly 7 years ago, having qualified 2 years before that as a psychologist I was really pissed off that I couldn't help her. Not enough is understood about this.
TheSulphyr 6 months ago
wanting to know more about this subject, i found an article in wikipedia on 'Self-harm', also called Self-inflicted Violence. i also found an article on the etiology, whose author says that although severe childhood abuse often leads to self injury, the reverse isn't the case: ie, not all cutters were abused children. but he did say a common thread in their experience was 'invalidation', meaning the somtimes unintentional disavowal of the child's intense feelings.
sgcollins 6 months ago
@yahoopig - is that how you get people to check out your lame ass mid-life crisis channel with your two subscribers? Pretty sad if you ask me. Maybe it's you who needs help. Keep rotting your brain with those stupid f'n fear mongering zeitgeist movies on YouTube.
Xineohp37 6 months ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
After watching this I have unsubscribed. Get help
yahoopig 6 months ago
@yahoopig Thanks so much for unsubbing :) <3 and I DID get help, and I'm well and funtioning today, isn't it great? :) Peace.
LiliumCandidum27 6 months ago 32
@LiliumCandidum27 Good luck to you. If you need attention, posting videos on this site will not help. Get a job, get a life, then be like me and make fun of the losers on youtube
yahoopig 6 months ago
@yahoopig
This wasn't a cry for attention brainiac...
1. As the title says "experience and knowledge"... Lilium was sharing her exp and providing help to those who cope with the same problems or used to and can now find a propper place to put all that behind them.
2. If I'm not mistaken Lilium is still a student and already way more succesful than you'll ever be (in terms of being human for starters).
3. Don't project your own failure onto someone else.
4....
metaldrago30 6 months ago
4. She had problems, just like you have yours, but at least she faced them and has overcome them.
5. Lilium is here to help whereas you're just here to make a fool out of yourself and hurt others.
Either way, I figure it would be rude of me not to offer assistance. So if you need to get something of your chest, feel free to send me a message and I'll listen.
Kind regards
Edward
metaldrago30 6 months ago
@LiliumCandidum27
why you even answered this user? Your "Thumb Up" clicks makes his comment more famous then it should be. :)
Your Video: I had a good friendship breaking up on stuff like that. To make it short. She was cutting herself too and at the point she was getting Help she didn´t feel any better for some reason. As I tried to help her again, she was the one who broke up the contact to me. Sad but true :( Glad you got away from that. I like your videos a lot "Thumb up" :)
maniac41 5 months ago
@LiliumCandidum27
Sorry the place in the Comment before wasn´t enough. What i wanted to answer. I think your Video is really interesting because it is as you say. Many People don´t understand why some others cutting themselfs. Even I learned some new things in your Video about why they´re doing that. So instead of making Jokes about it, just start to think how you could help a Person if you recognize Stuff like that in the circle of your Friends, Family etc.
maniac41 5 months ago
@yahoopig what the hell man, Lilium opened up and told everyone about what she went through. shes helping people, doing a good thing. Your just an ass hole i think your the one that needs to get help.
acuff825 6 months ago
@yahoopig
I honestly feel sorry for you. I sincerely hope you get help or you might hurt more people, yourself included. You could try to understand or at least show some respect. Such a subject is never an easy thing to talk about, keep that in mind.
As for me, I completely understand what you went through and I'm very happy you're alright and are able to talk about it =). I also did such things when I felt like I needed to get away from the things I couldn't deal with in the real world.
metaldrago30 6 months ago
What saved me so to speak was reading books about positive thinking. That's what changed my life completely. It made me realise that life is too precious to waste on negative emotions. There's not much space for that and whatever the situation you're in, something positive will always come out of it.
metaldrago30 6 months ago
@yahoopig Weird/inappropriate response for someone who was just sharing a past struggle, eh?
boynamedbri 6 months ago
@boynamedbri I thought it was a simple honest response. It's not my fault she is an abused nutter now fuck off
yahoopig 6 months ago
@yahoopig you are so shallow. She opens up & shares this and bc she has the BALLS to admit she had a problem (notice I sad "had", she clearly states she got over the problem) u look down on her now? So basically she doesn't live up to your expectations anymore simply because she told the truth & is trying to help ppl? Clean out the wax from your ears and actually listen to the video before leaving a comment like that next time k?
Cristalraindrops 6 months ago
@Cristalraindrops It's not my fault she is a nutter now fuck off
yahoopig 6 months ago
@Cristalraindrops suck me you turd
yahoopig 6 months ago
@Cristalraindrops Opens up? Grandstanding on youtube is a fucking laugh for an attention seeking pshycho. STFU fuck off and keep your stupid replies to yourself you fucking cunt
yahoopig 6 months ago
@yahoopig You know, I thought MAYBE you would have the decency to realize you heard her wrong and that she NO LONGER has a problem, but instead you feel better hating on ppl instead. Everyone has problems, and apparently you have tourettes syndrome. (I have an idea you don't know what that is so look it up) I'm not the only one who's pissed at you for your comments to her. In the end, I'm glad u unsub. She doesn't need assholes like u looking at her videos.
Cristalraindrops 6 months ago
@Cristalraindrops I'm just replying to the idiots now fuck off and mind your own shit petty business
yahoopig 6 months ago
@yahoopig Its people like you who influence and show how human beings are a pathetic lot. I'm sorry you are so damn perfect that you care not for other peoples feelings or concerns. it is you who should seek help.
silverwareman88 6 months ago
@yahoopig my god you're an ignorant jackass. When people do cutting and other forms of self injury (as they have for centuries across cultures btw) it means that the brain is unable to cope with severe psychic pain without the release of endorphins that blood loss can provide. That's to be pitied, not shunned. At least they're taking it out on themselves rather than somebody else.
jfarwell92 6 months ago
@yahoopig prick.
TheOmniscientAtheist 5 months ago
@yahoopig she got help you dimwit!
blobofcream2010 3 months ago
@blobofcream2010 Yeah I read that. Why don't you get some help you fucking slow witted turd eating cocksucker?
yahoopig 3 months ago
my relative who used to cut himself when he was younger, grew up in a quiet house with no ostensible crises, where everything was outwardly calm. i think he is okay now, not sure, but he's married with two kids and seems pretty stable. by contrast, my housemate grew up in a loud household, and she lived through war and attempted genocide, many relatives killed. she's also more fragile than she let's on, but responds to stress differently, not a cutter. my ignorance about humanity alarms me.
sgcollins 6 months ago
this gives me lotsa questions. if people who cut themselves are mostly secretive about it, presumably they are not 'learning' the behavior from others, just spontaneously discovering it — correct? and yet it's epidemic. so i wonder, of all the people who suffer emotionally, what makes some respond with cutting themselves and others in other ways. could it be related to a dearth of sensation in the immediate social environment? i wish i understood more. thanks lilium.
sgcollins 6 months ago
I know exactly what you mean. Lost a friend because of this problem recently. He didn't admit that he needed help and it went too far.
deathwaitsforevryone 6 months ago
@deathwaitsforevryone I'm deeply sorry for your loss :( all my best to you <3
LiliumCandidum27 6 months ago
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this was very interesting. i always wondered what the cutter GETS OUT of cutting themselves, and your description of watching the blood pour out of you really helped me to understand the object of such a behavior. Thank you for posting this. I also wanted to ask you... have you ever studied Yoga, and if so, was it helpful on your path to recovery from self injury?
mimzywhimzy 6 months ago
Thank you, Lilium, for being willing to step up and talk about your story.
lekoman 6 months ago
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check out my video response in my videos
MegaThisishowiroll 6 months ago
I used to be one of those people who didn't understand this and took the piss. After this video I will try to get all my friends to change as I have. Thank you Lilium <3
tonasweebe1995 6 months ago
@tonasweebe1995 Thank YOU for wanting to change :) Means a lot for me to hear that this video had that effect on you. God bless <3
LiliumCandidum27 6 months ago
I cut myself a lot about a year ago when I was depressed. I'm over it and am happy. Recently I lost a very close friend and cut again. I remember you posting this video so I went and listened to it again and it REALLY helped me out. Thank you so much for having the courage to post this. I think I'm going to talk to a friend about this, because although I do want to keep it inside, I'm afraid that keeping it to myself this time will cause more harm than good. Again, thank you. You are wonderful.
SpasticFlailure 6 months ago
You are so brave for making this. It really takes a lot of guts to talk about something so personal.
SmilingWhisper 6 months ago
You are so amazing for helping others through your own experiences, lots of love from Australia :)
johno993 6 months ago
This was very educational, and quite inspiring. You are right, people often will put others up on a pedestal, and often it's based on limited knowledge and understanding or perceptions of that person. You're not perfect, and nobody is, you're so right. What you do almost perfectly however is to share your experiences and try to help others benefit from them. That takes courage, grace, dignity and strength of character. I truly applaude you for all you do here young lady. Thank you! ((HUGS))
BatmanFan1966 6 months ago
An old friend of mine was always such a happy caracter in the outside world. Never knew she was harming herself behind that happy shield. I was so surprised an sad when i heard that she commited suicide after multible attempts. So unreal... She did it because she thought she didnt deserve to be happy. Such a terrible illness and it destroyes so many beautiful souls..
I'm glad that you are still with us today. Thank you for that.
ampthebest 6 months ago
I use to cut when I was 13 for many reasons. I have the scars now and it's crazy now to look at them at age 19 and to think that I was in so much pain that I wanted to do that to myself. I cover them with bracelets now but it's a harsh remembrance of the past when I accidentally get a glance at them every once in a while. Thank you for this video. It's a relief knowing that others have gone through similar situations that I have.
sophie012292 6 months ago
thank you :)
nelly11796 6 months ago
Your eyes are BEAUTIFUL!! =)
doublerum1 6 months ago
Thanks.
preacherman86 6 months ago
There is no such thing as having no emotions. Without emotions you can not live.
FideTheProducer 6 months ago
@FideTheProducer i have no emotion for anything and my life is fine, dont get me wrong i wouldnt wish nothing bad on anyone but im just sayin i live without emotion and think for me its a lot better
ryan190485 6 months ago
@ryan190485 If you had no emotion you would not have the rationale to do anything...nothing would matter to you. You wouldn't want to have sex, you wouldn't want a girlfriend, you wouldn't want or do anything...everything we do is driven by emotion and desires. Now of course people experience different amounts of emotion etc, but there is no such thing as havin no emotion.
FideTheProducer 6 months ago
lol, the related videos..."HAIR CUTTING DVD BLACK MEN'S HAIRCUTS"
just what i had in mind after watching this!
Robstailey 6 months ago
Wow i am so happy i am a sociopath. I dont have to deal with these kinds of feelings.
laallaal75 6 months ago
@laallaal75
dude. samesies. sometimes i think i'm just the right kind of crazy.
Robstailey 6 months ago
It is absolutely amazing to hear you publicly share all of these huge problems you have gone thru in your life. So often, we hide, and are fearful of our problems...and any glimpse or thought of them makes us shutter.
But the best way, the ONLY way to overcome problems is to look them in the face, be aware of them, and vow with persistency to overcome them.
It literally brought tears to my eyes when you showed us your scars. That really takes some guts Lilum. I am truly happy for you
rhcp4565 6 months ago
To publicly share something so incredibly intimate, personal and painful in an effort to help others shows real emotional courage. Such compassion is genuinely inspiring. Turns out you've beauty both inside and out!
brianimator 6 months ago
@brianimator Thanks so much :) I really wanna bring this up, partly so all of you know that I am far from perfect and have struggled and still struggle, but mostly to bring attention on this taboo that is an increasingly problem for kids and adults.
LiliumCandidum27 6 months ago
Thanks for your comments. I've known a few people who have cut themselves. They all have explained it as a way of coping with extreme physical and/or mental pain. Sharing this with others and providing a point of contact to discuss it can be very helpful.
ParksideMusicMan 6 months ago
I absolutely love you to pieces.
harveykathleen 6 months ago
There is a very nice song about this subject, look for Plumb - Cut on youtube to hear it.... I think you are very brave to talk about this on youtube. You've become a very stable and nice person. Roy, USA
RoySV61 6 months ago
If you can't put yourself in other peoples shoes, than you have a problem. It's called a lack of empathy, and it's because empathy takes a back seat in our modern culture.
I have never cut myself, nor would I, but I can see where people with these problems come from. A habit is a habit. I may not fully understand it, but I am not ignorant to it. Most of you commenters down there make me sick with your uneducated attacks on this very real issue.
Great job for tackling this issue Lilium. :)
rage1331 6 months ago
You are the hottest woman alive, please marry me!!
EastCoastDude99 6 months ago 2
When I was in primary school there use to be this girl who had autism and if anybody said blood or something along the lines she would cry cover her ears and her mum would have to pick her up half way through the day. And once I dropped my pencil and she thought it was hers so she started flipping tables and then I said "WTF are you doing you crazy bitch" and I got deep shit for an out burst that was obv offensive to her.
gypsy320 6 months ago
Lilium, i would rather do this than have what i have. I have Anti Social Personality Disorder. I am what the world calls a Sociopath. I have no emotions. I feed off of the weak and the strong. I am the cancer of the world. Be glad you can choose the disease you have. I have a brain disorder, there is no pill, no amount of therapy or hospitalization will ever fix me. But at the same time i dont want to be fixed. Be thankful you can feel anything, Zach.
RENOGUY777 6 months ago
@RENOGUY777 That word is only used to describe what little we actually know about that particular disorder, nothing on that subject is final. We dont even fully understand where emotions come from. And people dont choose habits (which is not the problem you speak of), habits choose people. For example, I couldnt be an alcoholic because I hate how I feel after I drink. On the other hand, certian "herbs" get along with me, and in turn, I have had issues with them.
rage1331 6 months ago
@rage1331 I am just saying my opinion, i would not understand it anyway because i dont care about anyone. And "herbs" get along with me as well, i just use it in moderation. So i suppose we are wasting time, because i will never understand you, and you will never understand me. And dont tell me about my disorder, i had to be tested and watched ever since i was about 15. It takes years for them to "officially" diagnose you with ASPD, It took them 3 years to diagnose me.
RENOGUY777 6 months ago
@RENOGUY777 I'm not saying I know what it's like or anything like that, nor am I trying to tell you about your disorder, but mabey you should do some research on the human brain. What we know is extremely limited, skitched and skewed. For example, people like to say we only use 15% of our brains which is horribly untrue. "Science" as we see it today is only based on our current knowledge, and is ever changing. I was really trying to help you out more than anything, as I had a friend with ASPD.
rage1331 6 months ago
@RENOGUY777 Was it a relief for you to finally get the diagnose or did it just lead to you feeling more seperated from the world?
LiliumCandidum27 6 months ago
@LiliumCandidum27 It was and always will be, indifferant.
RENOGUY777 6 months ago
@RENOGUY777 People with anti social personality have no rekognizion of their disease. How come you have? Or maybe you've just been forced to rekognize it? Btw I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and I have not chosen that. I have to live with it everyday but I'm getting stronger each year :) You're not cancer Zach, you're human. Sometimes I used to wish I couldn't feel anything cause it was so unbearable. Too much feeling but also no feeling is a curse.
LiliumCandidum27