MST3K X Marks the Spot

[TheCorrectViews]

I find him innocent. We all to speed up a little bit.

Sam

[thefaboloussob]

I like that Crow was still riveted enough 2 stick around for the rhetorical questions.

[thefaboloussob]

19:05 Does the court in the afterlife have to be that close to the streets? What's wrong w/ a secluded area in the outskirts 2 km from the freeway?

[thefaboloussob]

15:33 "Hey I'm a supernatural being. It means I can travel up his rectum 2 make my point. (Yet I can still smell it.)"

[thefaboloussob]

9:54 I didn't know amphetamines were en vogue back than.

[thefaboloussob]

5:05 Eeyaaggh!!! Where's my proton pack?!

[thefaboloussob]

4:43 They sure like 2 say "rhubarb."

[thefaboloussob]

3:13 "Fiddlesticks! You consarned scalawag!" That's what profanity sounded like back than.

3:34 ♫ Robin laid an egg; Batmobile lost a wheel...

[thefaboloussob]

1:43 Jacksonville Jaguars 14, New York Jets 24

1:50 Jacksonville Jaguars 49, New York Jets 27

[thefaboloussob]

15:56 Un4tunately, since that crucial piece of evidence had vanished from the scene, the mystery of the car crash remains unsolved.

[thefaboloussob]

Chi Marx the Spot

[VTPPGLVR]

I think both drivers and pedestrians need to do better. I see a lot of folks jaywalk through the busiest streets here when there's TONS of cars zooming by! Makes me mad when pregnant women and women with small kids risk their children's lives just because the moms don't wanna cross at the light.

[tsartodd]

i've lived all my life in NJ ... the drivers here haven't gotten any better since this short film was made. that said, drivers from New York are even worse.

XD

[TackyRackyComixNEO]

The funny thing is, Joe is very representative of NJ drivers.

[chandlerboykin]

Personally, this is probably my favorite MST3K Short.

[SohoEliminator]

"He's got a lovely wife and two beautiful children."

"Now I make my move."

[GlassofAIDS]

"You were born in New Jersey eh?"

"I thought I smelled something!"

[nicky2coats]

Don't drive like that in my state, jabroni

[Leatherbubba]

"He was always sneaking up and scaring the wits out of pedestrians."

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed that.

[dream6cold6code6]

these are the days before indicators and  car insurance was invented, where you can bang your car into another and its no big deal, despite expensive repair bills. what a strange time this was. o_o"

[snkgn]

see that's Mick Jagger's cloud, STAY OFF OF IT!!

[TheLateDarkWobbuffet]

I don't drive. Does that mean I have to go to Purgatory?

[DoloresHaze84]

@TheLateDarkWobbuffet Yeah, I kinda wonder about that too. But I AM a sort of good pedestrian, for someone who has the depth perception of Turanga Leela. ,/

[OonaCanute]

"I'm huge!"

[nagaking07]

So there is an entire branch of the Hall of Judgement for traffic related deaths?

[simonimyours]

XD I kind of find the Guardian Angel as uglycute.

[fads90]

The god of New Jersey is an asshole.

[TheOneBlueNinja]

@fads90 Not entirely surprising.

[Enumclaw]

God sure has a crumby office.

That's cause all the interior decorators are in hell.

[jaronious89]

if you kill yourselves here you cant kill them over there

[BoneyDogProductions]

Did he ever drive drunk? -Oh boy, I need my other scroll for that one.

[hammerogod]

..."The Court Isn't interested In Your Opinion"....

Well, at least that hasn't changed.

[SigEpBlue]

F O O L ! ! ! :D @ 14:10

[93WXRT]

How is he as a cocktail waitress?

[kurtjk01]

I've driven in New Jersey. Turns out they cloned Joe . . . about 5,000,000 times . . .

[634devil]

"And George Matthews as the Beaver!"

[RoninAvenger]

lol i like the james dean remark

[TimelordR]

MST3K-making starchy auto safety films fun!!

[bjago01]

Not a single Kelsey Grammar joke? why i oughta...

[illuminatioracle]

god sure has a crumby office.

that's because all the decorators are in hell.

LOL get it?

[ToxicOdiousOne]

LBJ is the judge? Lol.

[PhilWithCoffee]

Wait a sec, how could he be exhausted if he said Joe was driving fine and normally for a few weeks and he had all that time off when Joe was in the hospital? Something tells me he was busy checking out a pretty girl instead of doing his job.

[yaywhewclips242]

God, did the producers of these industial films take themselves WAY too seriously!

[GoldenCenturion]

So the moral of this story is: being a shitty driver is a sin worthy of eternity in the lake of fire?

[pnutbutrncrackers]

"I guess he can't be a witness."

[historyblitz]

Nixon's enemy list. Hahaha!

[ZoeSquared21]

Crow's impression of "God's" voice is so close that I think some of his riffs are part of the short, and I get confused.

[doomsy]

dear diary, it's hard being god.

[sil80d]

Impwove twafic conditions!

[theprincessactress]

"Without energy wake up already!!!" I love Joel

[ErinIsPunk]

@theprincessactress LOL, that's my favorite part :-P

[mariagianna624]

CLASSIC

[Pennywisea]

So wait. He's 35 and he's been driving 15 years he got his license at 20? No wonder he's so bad...

[ninjast4r]

You couldn't say "dead" back then?

[tdickensheets]

Tom: X marks the spot? Is that what pirates bury there trasure?

[Leatherbubba]

Don't get sore,Joe.

[Pennywisea]

impwove twaffic conditions.

you can't see it but my torso fused to a bwock of gwanite.

[scratchcat3000]

with his skull in his hand!

[XPhile10131121]

My favorite short!!!! =)

[KingKenny04]

"Today in Dead People's Court" ROFL

[psycodollkiller666]

Wooooooo! Freebiiiiird!

Hahahahaha!

[HeyRay31695]

I don't see how the character on the far right is a crow?

[yaywhewclips242]

yea 15 hundred miles an hour!

[craig3410]

rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb

[634devil]

The closed captioning system needs some work!

[Shadowdancer21b]

"Squeaking and calling himself Algernon". I wonder how many people got THAT reference?

[nightomen01]

@Shadowdancer21b

Flowers for Algernon?

or did I not get it

[Shadowdancer21b]

@nightomen01 Yeah, flowers for Algernon. Algernon the mouse. Good on ya.

[Pennywisea]

@nightomen01 u got it :)

[animenice]

@Shadowdancer21b What is the "Squeaking and calling himself Algernon" reference from?

[Shadowdancer21b]

@animenice A story called "Flowers for Algernon" it's about a scientific experiment to increase intellectual capacity in a mouse and a developementally-disabled man. The mouse is Algernon, the man is Charlie. Good read, but don't watch the movie. It was horrible.

[sketchguy]

I can't BELIEVE they missed that George Mathews (the Guardian Angel) was Harvey the pool hall bully in "The Honeymooners."

[Sviolinist]

lol 20:08 till the end had me howling with laughter... "He wasn't too careful about speed..." ""Mm mm... Mm mm...." .... "He did have regular car inspections..." "yeah....."

[PyrozPlayground]

If you kill yourself here, we can't kill them over there... haha

You can't see it fwom heaw but my towso is fused to a bwock of gwanite! LOL

It's faaabulouuuus!

Today in Dead People's Court.

Lets see there's Dickweed, Dog, Dumbsh... Uhhh... hahaha Priceless!

[ShadowTheHedgehog157]

Impwoove twaffic conditions

[dethly]

Joe Doakes gets in a lot of car accidents cause he's too busy jamming to classic 50s rock

[craffte]

lol!!

[craffte]

just hearing their voices again makes me happy. cute joel... my favorite was always crow. what a smartass.

[edybeast]

I saw them at the Rifftrax Christmas show. I miss MST3K.

[Malithion666]

Sharbutt, ladies and gentlemen.

Sharbutt.

[stig422]

no you have to go to traffic hell

[imSOridiculous]

wow, i hate joe.

seriously what a dick driver.

[edybeast]

"Yeah, he does look familiar. Sure, he lives on your street." He's the neighborhood registered sex offender.

[craffte]

LOL!

[ilikethecoke]

Behind the wheel of the Motorcar, Joe becomes Mr. Wheeler! A MOTORIST!

[hadar7773]

what a sick movie

[PhantosTheHedgehog]

It's Crazy Googinheim!

[DrGregoryHouseIT]

Dear Diary, it's hard being God.

[Scaddadle1]

-Does he ever drive when he's been drinking?

Oh boy I need my other scroll for that. Thats a doosey...

[The1solidsnake]

does anyone know if the did it's a wonderful life lol?

[jettvixen]

Joe had two kids of his own at that school.

"And if his wife ever found out..."

LOL XD

[AutobotLover]

today in dead people's court

[theMAG101]

Hahaha 5:03........"Crypto-Joe"

I own this short, and I've seen it so many times (along with all my other mst3k dvds :-P)...and I've NEVER caught that.

I love the subtle ones they sneak in.

[r0bw00d]

I'M qualified to judge! :P

[adiadv10]

I'm so glad things have changed since 1944, when people faced the penalty of instant damnation to hell for disobeying traffic laws. Despite the changes in law enforcement since then, after watching this I'll be sure not to hog the lanes and I'll never forget to dim my lights or get regular vehicle checks again. Thank you MST3K. I'm going to go check my wiper blades right now.

[Adamguy2003]

What was Crow saying @ 14:16?

[Wipnum]

"...physical or mental condition due to drinking liquor... "

"-- IS MONOTONOUS."

[xxbathorygrlxx]

"he landed right on the x now that takes direction" lmao

[Applemask]

Comissioner Fudd is the most boring man I have ever seen. Is he literally a corpse with a small electric current running through him?

[irish77777man]

if you kno who i mean... hitler..oh no he drove a stick

[customcartoons]

Over there... that's Mick Jager's cloud, stay off it...

XD Awesome!

[crimsonedge34]

"Oh that's great, we're stranded in space, and we still have to pull jury duty."

[benestradajr]

a sock holds 150.000 cash

[LadyOtacon]

the poor guy was James Dean. The End.

[felineshadow0221]

so youtube takes good videos like these down but the "leave brittney alone!" video is still standing .....anyone else see how thats wrong

[Shemassault]

@felineshadow0221 Their NWO agenda is to dumb everyone down so they don't question authority and consume and work mindless jobs, watch news and shitty shows until everyone goes to the point of having an egg scramble instead of brain and pay for every elitist asshole out there till.... WHERE'S MY BASEBALL BAT!?

[ErinIsPunk]

@felineshadow0221 Yeah, what the hell is up with that?

[Gomess]

When God went "That reminds me of someone else I know", did anyone else think at first he was referring to ol' Lucifer himself?

That would've been pretty cool, but I guess this Doughy Guy Angel will do.

[razbizzle]

"You make me sick."

[VampiricDarkDragon]

So God lives in New Jersey?

[bitterchew]

You were born in New Jersy eh? I thought I smelled something!

[Drez26]

"Without ENERGY!" :P

[86thPatriot]

"Joe had two kids of his own at that school."

CROW:"And if his wife ever found out..."

"Guardian, I want the whole truth."

SERVO:"So help me ME."

[JAF1970]

I miss posting 15+ minute vids on YouTube.

[sciencealwayswins]

I miss this show.

[KrypticAsylum]

Who doesn't?

Oh yeah, mainstream pop culture infected teens + annoying weeaboos with no sense of comedic taste.

[Hecatonchires7898]

Serious Business

[KrypticAsylum]

That's nice.

[itsthebrew93]

I miss this show and I rarely ever got to watch it when it was in syndication.

[johnnywishbone4]

better take advantage!

viacom is taking these down from youtube everyday!

[damaster4u]

i wasnt born when this show was out, but thank god for the internet. if this show came back today with the same style and charm they would have alot of bad movies they can rip on. come back MST :(

[Demyxstalker]

Try Rifftrax. Modern movies and the same cast but no puppets...

[damaster4u]

it prob wont be the same but i will take a look into it, ty

[elliottchrist]

Or Cinematic Titanic - live shows still with older movies and the old cast as themselves instead of robots.

[ElizabethGStone]

Phooey!

[bancoran]

"I'll be with you in a moment, I'm just sealing some fates."

[jettvixen]

I guess he can't be a witness. LOL!!!

[apo18llo]

Sounds like Commissioner Fudd!

[Evertide05]

"You can't see it from heuw but my towso is fused to a bwock of gwanite."

[doinblow]

He's got a lovely wife and two beautiful children. "Now I make my move!"

"My foreheads all Bondo!"

Come to a slow roll, then give it the gas...

"Then give them the bird."

[Evertide05]

"To impwove twaffic conditions."

Is that angel the short-order cook from "I Accuse My Parents"?

[J3D1M4S73R]

hahahahahahahahahahahaha  they kick ass

[c3section]

Joel's funny and scary when he snaps.

[mseales]

The most disturbing part of this short is that apparently the life-expectancy of a 1940s male was below 60 years. Unless the Judge was inferring to Joe not being due there for 20 more years due to a horrible industrial accident instead of natural causes. Hopefully a horrible industrial accident.

Also how fucked up is it that ghosts have to sleep?

[ShyriaDracnoir]

It might have been skewed by a little thing called World War II. But industrial accident works as well

[mseales]

that's a good point. but they should've taken that into consideration when writing the script.

unless--oh shit--we've just stumbled upon the government's secret plan to make the war last 20 years! that is until a hotshot maverick by the name of Harry Truman killed FDR so he could drop the bomb and end the war early.

[ShyriaDracnoir]

And the current Death by Shitty Driving Skills was somehow involved

[Theedoctorr]

I hate New Jersey when I was there I had not seen one smiling face at all, and when I tryed talking to some one they just gave me a weird look. So for me New Jersey stinks on ice!

[pmoney200]

well no one invited you to New Jersey you know.. if we didn't invite ya we dont want ya.

[PizzaRat]

Oooh, I love toying with you out of staters on I-95 in the morning. :P

[jettvixen]

Doaks? Hmmm, let's see there's dickweed, dork, dumbsh....oh here it is.

LOL!!!!!!!!! I love Joel!!!

[40thCapeRifles]

"Where is that guy?"

"He's with your wife, Joe."

Great stuff!

[GoblinXXX]

Parallel universe parking

[OAGGBU555]

This is the BEST! Sincerely, Liberace

[Tareltonlives]

It's FAAAABUUULOOOOUUUS!

[OAGGBU555]

This is the BEST!  Sincerely, Liberace

[eyepatchplease]

I love that Raymond Carver joke... anyone else?

[baloonfighters]

It was a stretch. Maybe a Tess Gallagher joke would have been more apropos.

[FireFuria]

"Oh, my line... sorry. Oh, and my hat, Your Honor, er, Your Sir..."

"Are you George Bailey?"

[Moshpitdisciple]

Yeah!!! FREE BIRD!

[HenryvKeiper]

"Was his car regularly inspected?"

"Oh yes sir!" / "Hey, I'm no commie!"

[HenryvKeiper]

"Dear Diary...It's hard being God..."

[funnyscares595]

I'm from new jersey!

[scottievand]

I'm sorry.

[Tareltonlives]

"I thought I smelled something..."

[acsowards]

It's a death trap. It's a suicide rap.

[shootxthexmessenger]

we gotta get out while we're young...

[imstoned6]

rofl 3:44

[ryukXsayu27]

1:41 Its over 20000!!

[coilgunner2]

9000!

[AutobotLover]

dear diary its hard being god

[rasmus90]

1:43 WOO PACKERS!

[DrGregoryHouseIT]

Weird enough, when the narrator said, 'Imagine, if you will', my mind always goes back to the original Dawn Of The Dead trailer and adds 'that something has gone terribly wrong'... XD

Show's over, fo... or maybe not?

Is he Patrick Swayze's father?

[Heehissi]

Hey im no commi! XD

[badluckshadow13]

"He started squeaking and calling himself Algernon"

I wasn't expecting that reference :D

[MisterFreeman21]

So...the only relevant factor for getting into heaven is your driving skills? Sure, whatever... Man I love MST3K. Also...FAVED!!!

[Imasoccorplayer]

"That description fits someone else i know....."

"Hitler!?"

hahaha!

[nupinoop296]

Oh. My. Lol. There's a "Turn Down the Lights" Button on this site now!! XD Win.

[lmaunkst]

This short should have been called 'World's Ugliest Men.'

[Tareltonlives]

Drive safely or you'll look like these guys!

[DragonFire381]

"That's when he stepped into a wormhole and was transported to the sixteenth century!" That made my day!

[clevanator]

I'M HUGE!!!!!