AVGN - NES Review - Milon's Secret Castle - Cinemassacre.com

[CoRRupT3dS3nSeS94]

"Shrink when you touch the glove" I thought of condoms...

[astraltears1]

Granted this game is frustrating as all hell and perhaps crappy to a point but I have played much worse then this. By the way I have suggestions for games the Nerd should do in the future let me know what you guys think.1. Predator NES 2. Revolution X SNES,Genesis 3. Jungle Book SNES 4. Bayou Billy NES 5. Way Of The Warrior 3DO 6. Space Ace SNES 7. Lawnmower Man SNES,Genesis 8. Pit Fighter SNES 9. Hudson Hawk NES 10. Bebes Kids SNES 11. Last Action Hero SNES 12 Where's Waldo NES

[ilovedaftpunk55]

THIS GAME FUCKING SUCKS!!!!!!!!

[MattyMatt0604]

0:53

[baahhhFATALITY11]

A giant crack in the wall makes it too easy. How about a smaller crack or slightly discolored wall? Something more subtle.

[OUTLAWS4911]

Hudson is proud to this game. xD

[Vervain]

To quote our Beloved Gaming Sage:

"I fucking HATE this game!"

[Shadowgamer250]

9:30

That would REALLY suck...

[pepperonipizzafan01]

My favorite review.

[coppatop]

How did I beat this game when I was 8 years old? I played it recently and couldn't get past the second level.

[draykopwner]

Metroid games are kinda confusing too, because there are some spots you can use your morph ball to go through walls, but there is no way to tell where you can or can't

[cowmilk9999]

@draykopwner Indeed. That's exactly what I thought of. However, at least in Metroid, most of those secrets aren't required to progress through the game. Just finding power ups.

[richardcollins2008]

hey u want that money? aww u want that money you want that money eh well FUCK U U CANT HAVE IT that was funny lol

[Daisycutt3r]

I have a games console i bet you never heard of james , "Dick Smith wizzard" .aka Creativision, Funvision and Hanimex Rameses.it was my first console back in the early 80's.I bet you heard of the other names but with My "Dick Smith Wizzard" I was the coolest kid on the block ;) that was the aussie name lol and ppl think Wii is a bad name hehe

[dgreenyhair]

i got this stupid game when i was downloading nintendo games pack i wasn't planning for getting it

[dgreenyhair]

u downloaded this game ur mama most be proud lol

[dgreenyhair]

i hate this game ,i hate it's fucking graphics ,the worst thing is the character i just hate his creepy smile ;)

[supermariofan03]

I wonder what he thinks of the Milon game for the super famicom

[sporecreatorperson]

"That is the GREATEST OFFENSE to the world of gaming!"

Play Nethack or Spelunky.

[mardfet]

A really funny line? Quick! Let me put it in my comment so everyone can see it ahead of time!

[jalski1downshroom]

I was watching the ad for making my computer faster but then my computer froze, true story.

[dgreenyhair]

lol @jalski1downshroom

[thedoubleseven70]

and even worse. its on the Wii Virtual Console. thank you, nerd for saving me 500 Wii points. (or 5 bucks to be accurate)

[jarannalli]

I had this game as a kid. We uh... we had no idea what the crap we were doing on it.

Days before the internet were tough man.

[Psychstix]

"game for girls they suck"

[tourettesfan1000]

Fucking Bubbles. 1:46

[jakethesneaky]

There dust on my screen!!! No its the dislike bar... ok.

[sexsybom1]

I have that game. And its not so bad actualy. :/

[kionwarrior]

That is some fuck! LOL ahahahahahahah

[kionwarrior]

at 4:20 LOL ahahahaha

[outo1235]

James Rolfe's tombstone

''1 LIFE AND NO FUCKING CONTINUES!!!???''

[snappleboy16]

@outo1235 Copy and paste FTW!

[PlaskProductions]

@outo1235 made my day hahaha

[ironicguy58]

@outo1235 but he's not dead yet... :D

[deltablast54]

@outo1235 best comment ever!

[TheBurgerboyeatsfood]

fffffuck....

[TheSkrillexKiller]

FUCKING BUBBLES!

[xBandiitx]

I love how the first thing he says after the intro is "I fucking HATE this game!" haha.

[DucksInMayonnaise]

You got Milon's secret castle on the NES that is practically impossible, then you get it's sequel DoReMi Fantasy which is jokingly easy on the SNES... and a good game at that! Talk about contrast lol.

[DeathNoteOps]

lol every bad reference is at simons quest XD

[greendragon098]

y would you tell the stalkers that

[nickyv917]

For those feeling particularly stalky out there, you might be able to read James' old address on the Nintendo Power magazine.

[watarukannuzuki]

This game haunted my childhood.

[menstruatingorchid]

@watarukannuzuki -me too

[Kurostyle21]

Milon For The Next Super Smash Bros.!

[RedSHARK6]

Dark Souls for the SNES.

[KeselowskiTheMan]

This game doesn't look bad...it just looks really f**king hard

[BullenTheBullen2]

hehe... aMAZEing... get it?

[MrDownfallguy]

i want this game seems fun i like it

[sonex1203]

"Milon's Secret Castle, MORE LIKE MILON'S SHITTY ASSHOLE!"

LOL.

[YoshiKecleon978]

I find it halliours this game is on Wii Shop Channel.

[only257]

hiilarous

[TheBubbypower]

am i the only one who doesn't have the ads anymore ???????

[YoungNickJames]

...BUFFERING ADS?!? GODDAMMIT!

[nisbahmumtaz909]

@YoungNickJames

There are STILL people who haven't heard of AdBlockPlus?

[scr515]

@nisbahmumtaz909 yea, because i've never heard of it.

[nisbahmumtaz909]

@scr515

Now you have.

Get it. It's not the best addon, it's the BEAST addon.

[supercrapnstuff11]

@nisbahmumtaz909 you do know there are people who still use internet explorer right?

i know fucking scary!

[nisbahmumtaz909]

@supercrapnstuff11

Oh god.

OH GOD.

[Pok3Mawn]

I was looking through the Wii Shop Channel and guess what I found, Milon's Secret Castle. I was like WTF!

[uzay2000]

Wait, why is Crystalis in the intro? That game is awesome!

[MSoltan1992]

There were not cracks in the wall in the original The Legend Of Zelda... comparing an eight bit game to a sixteen bit game is pretty low, James > . >

[MrDaphool]

@MSoltan1992 yeah but that was fun and with good music

[conan1412robloxian]

this was posted on my bday

[chpdip94]

@conan1412robloxian no one really cares....

[conan1412robloxian]

@chpdip94 no one cares about your birthday

[chpdip94]

@conan1412robloxian isn't that just what I said but you said it in a retarted manner?

[conan1412robloxian]

@chpdip94 look i found it funny that it was posted on my birthday so i commented so you reply that nobody cares so as a joke i say that nobody cares about your birthday theres not much to it im done with this conversation

[wildbird5150]

I downloaded this game and it's fucking awesome!

[1iguerra]

NO CONTINUES?!?!? NO EXTRA LIVES!?!?!?!?

[horizon9001]

Ironically, Hudson Soft went on to make "WarioWare Twisted" many years later, in 2006.

[FiresplitterX]

WE ARE NINTENDO. WE CHALLENGE ALL PLAYERS. YOU CANNOT BEAT US. This is the mentallity behind all games done back in the days... This game seems to live up to that...

[sky69]

over 3/4 million sold?

[chameleon0817]

@sky69 watch the Game Center CX episode of it here on youtube. They talk about it like it's so awesome

[Kurostyle21]

@sky69 In Japan before releasing it in the USA. That shows that the japanese gamers back then had other preferences in games as the rest of the world

[waterjob]

vote me down

[SharkeyStopMotion]

I feel like every game that ends in "castle" has potential to be bad. Milon's Secret Castle, Dark Castle, Crazy Castle.....

[GameBoyGuy001]

YOU CAN DOWNLOAD THIS ON THE WII's Virtual CONSOLE

[ShadowWrathYro]

i kinda see this game before. . .at 0:33 - 0:34 kindly tell me whats the title . .

[youcantspeak]

@ShadowWrathYro Huh?

[ShadowWrathYro]

@youcantspeak Oh what i meant is at 0:33 - 0:34 i saw that game before which i forgot that title . . .sorry for a bit confusion . .. .

[chameleon0817]

@ShadowWrathYro you mean Astyanax?

[ShadowWrathYro]

@chameleon0817 AH YES astyanax!! I always heard the 1st stage music since i was a kid thanks bro. . .

[culwin]

Who is Milon?

He's the guy from Milon's Secret Castle.

[PerseusLP]

the gameboy version of this game is really fun :)

I also actually think this is the best game of all the bad games jasmes ever reviewed on their own.

[Klemeron]

Lol drek means shit in my language

[luisconceicao88]

I saw this game on Gamecenter CX XD 

[TheGstar1985]

Maybe if the game wasnt made by jerkoffs

[TheGrizzledGamer]

Over 3/4 million sold in Japan!

[DrillingOnRS]

Fido Dido on the Sega Genesis please! It sucks horse's dick shoved up his diariafied ass :)

[theworldgamer555]

If there's a game called milon's shit*y as*hole I wold buy it

[AmbientPlanet]

whats the title of the game at 8:29

[usrlocalshare]

@AmbientPlanet Adventures in the Magic Kingdom.

[aleeacarpati]

@AmbientPlanet Adventures in the magic kingdomm

[jakethelightninghog]

@AmbientPlanet i think its some kind of disney game

[ZEPICPAWNZER421]

The game sucks ass

[ZEPICPAWNZER421]

@jesus77755

[natopower1]

@Draginvry2 I know, right? I bought this game just because the Nerd reviewed it, and the part that killed me was the first boss. I kept dying and going back to it and dying again. If you don't beat the first boss, you can't use the continue code. That's what pissed me off the most. The music was what came close in 2nd place, as soon as I turn that game on, I mute the TV. I bet the people who made this are still alive, living undercover in Europe with assumed names and switched genders.

[TheKittiesKilll]

My brother beat this game. He was 7 back then, and he beat it with no problem.

[vimoss]

funny thing: they`re selling Milon`s secret castle on the wii shop for 900 wii points ( 9 euro)

WHAT THE FUCK???

[Jonewii]

@vimoss I check it and this game is 600 wii points. Still too much.`(SNES) DoReMi Fantasy Milon's DokiDoki Adventure is 900 wii points. SNES game looks good game, but i haven't try that, but i'am curious about it.

[linkfreaknano]

@vimoss thats just sad =(

[tommis117]

@vimoss What are they THINKING? D:

...gonna go get this one.

[thundreturtle]

What's the name of the game at 8:26 ?

[Clocked555]

@thundreturtle TaleSpin

[thundreturtle]

@Clocked555 Thank you!

[EastCoastDude99]

Nice shot of Philly in the opening when James throws the Sega Rocky game down the art museum steps (the Rocky Steps). I drive past there every week on the BF parkway.

[JonJonFtheW]

There is a typo on the first screen of the game.

[mariopro96]

you should reviews of BOOTLEG SHIT! :D

[kratosff12]

He is probably a sponge Bob's cousin :) bubbles

[Titan990]

I'll tell you why he uses bubbles because ITS FUCKING bubbles man

[spiderman952]

when AVGN dies on his gravestone will be:

WHAT!? NO CONTINUES!?!? <:(

[DaBoss576]

@spiderman952 why does that sound so familiar???

[RocksInTheToilet]

@spiderman952 Even better: "One guy?! No continues?! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!?!"

[cfroi08]

@spiderman952 Or at least start over with full life

[ZEPICPAWNZER421]

My grandma likes this game, and i think i rather play tecmo super bowl thats why i bought tecmo super bowl

[SuperRetrodude]

Is it just me or does Milon look like Noddy?

[woofenstein1]

thumbs up if you took a dump on Chuck Norris

[Zazabar]

wow I actually remember playing this game back in the day and never found out about the spring shoes. I would just play for a little and realize there's no where to go and it sucked. Ahhh memories! =)

[Draginvry2]

@Zazabar

I remember getting stuck in every single part of this game. If you play it long enough, you eventually find out where everything is and where you need to go, because you'll get so bored that you'll end up pushing every block and shooting bubbles everywhere.

[BlackLegion1262]

@BowserwithaShotgun probably the same way NintendoCapriSun did: lol'ling uncontrolably

[Hippieboy1547]

MILON'S SHITTY ASSHOLE! lol

[sonex1203]

@Hippieboy1547 Didja notice that Castle and Asshole rhyme? LOL.

[Hippieboy1547]

@sonex1203 Yeah, that's the joke.

[MrDaphool]

@sonex1203 they dont

[Draginvry2]

I've beaten this game.

[MrUndeadpancake]

@Draginvry2 i have to. with a fuckin bat

[ThrowntoReality]

@Draginvry2 Good for you. You want a cookie???

[Draginvry2]

@ThrowntoReality

Actually, I want an entire batch of cookies. I would probably want them even if I hadn't beaten the game.

[ThrowntoReality]

@Draginvry2 If everybody took comments like mine the way you do there would a lot less war on the Internet.

[PeterBara95]

@Draginvry2 Just because you took a hammer and beat the shit out of the cartridge, that doesn't mean you have beaten it.

[adsfasdkjfh]

I'm pretty sure there was an arrow pointing at that first door.

[macrons593]

I admire him for having the patience to play these fucking games. I would killed myself in 2 minutes.

[TheCaledioScope]

FUCKING BUBBLES!!!!

[TheKonnnY]

@damagicalrapist52 so original, kiddo. might be able to be more mature next time?

[Jebuz713]

"it's looks like it could of been a good game but instead they where just fucking jerking off!" lmfao hahahaxD

[Samisawesomeguy]

The really funny part is that this game's available on Virtual Console, but five bucks is not worth the time and money.

[Cornshot1]

I own this game for the GBA and I can vouch for it's horribleness. I somehow managed to find the first secret block but the second room... Got stuck in the exact same spot the he got stuck on.

[ACFan120]

I like this game. It's actually pretty fun.

[274joe]

@ACFan120 oh i figured you liked assassins creed seeing your name XD

[ACFan120]

@274joe Originally, it stood for Animal Crossing, but in recent years, I've decided it stands for both Assassin's Creed and Animal Crossing ^_^

[supermariofan03]

@ACFan120 really? you like randomly shooting bubbles until you find a door, you like going out the same door?

[ACFan120]

@supermariofan03 Unlike the AVGN and many other gamers, I actually like games where I have to randomly wander around and find out what to do, and where to go. I like games like Simon's Quest and Milon's Secret Castle because it makes me feel like an explorer, and it makes me feel proud to find things out on my own, without the help of a walkthrough or lets play.

[supermariofan03]

@ACFan120 do you even want to try Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, E.T., Superman 64, Plumbers Don't Wear Ties, and Dragon's Lair on NES?

[ACFan120]

@supermariofan03 I have E.T., and I enjoy playing it, (in fact, I go as far to say that it's actually a good game). I've tried Dr. Jekyll and Dragon's Lair, and I'll admit that they're hard as shit. I'm sure Superman 64 isn't as bad as everyone says, and I have no way of playing Plumbers Don't Wear Ties, (though I don't think I'd like it, simply because I don't care for the "romantic" aspect).

[FacelessSyrup]

james, if you'd rather eat the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk and down it with beer, why haven't you done so yet?

[mr230889]

"this princess can go fuck herself" is the only reason why you should watch this video

[adodger64]

Have you ever pondered how nasty the theme song is? Rotten asshole of a roadkilled skunk? Diarrhea dump in an ear? NASTY

[iKaylind]

I work out with the AVGN theme song on my ipod.

[LockDown4000]

He's gonna blow up his whole collection one day

[Ytpistegyro]

Nerd: "hey Doug, would you play Contra?"

Critic: "FUCK THAT, THIS KID HAS BUBBLES!!"

[GanzZulu]

best way to ever begin a game review

-I FUCKIN' HATE THIS GAME!!!

[bagedum]

Что то обзор не очень, даже смешного ничего не сказал.

[MetalSmasherGaming]

I never played this game, but I've seen my brother play it, and yeah, it does not look appealing at all.

[peejwilliams]

my mom actually beat this game when i was a kid lol... i hated it and wanted nothing to do with it, but she would play it for hours on end!!!

[theknightswhosayfrak]

It's not Milon's easy to find Castle. It's Milon's secret Castle.

[TasteTheirFeet]

this is one of my favorite reviews. I love how he starts off 'I fucking hate this game...' and how he ends it 'FUCK THIS GAME' and just throws it away. to me that's a perfect review of the game. and the most important thing is that he really explains why this game sucks. there are times that your like 'I don't the game's THATT bad' but in this case I really think it sucks.

[youpooper18]

'It's milons secret castle not milons east to solve castle' That quote is from Nintendo World Championships episode.

[MrRight533]

FUCK THIS GAME!! he's so awesome when he yells

[Ceretia]

I actually like this game.

[Afk4life8]

Ive never nor will i ever played this game but i already hate it.

[drz2014]

9:38 Fire proof vest?

reminds me of MW2 and all those awful ghost is alive YouTube videos and comments.

[zombiegeekreviews]

More like Milons shitty Asshole!!!

[1CrazyFoxx1]

the plot is that milon is the only person who cant communicate with anyone, they all speak with... music... yeah... well when he goes to the castle to find where to go where people like him are... but when he gets there... shit's going down

[1CrazyFoxx1]

also when you get farther in the game, your bubbles look like they were fused with magic/nuclear fission, and yes, the wiki says the wizard gives you a "bubble" yep, in quotes

[1CrazyFoxx1]

I saw the ending, there are two for this game, the NES and the GB, in the NES, you save the princess... and that's it... nothing, just a text saying you saved the people... but in the GB version, take a guess what happens, you not only get an animated ending and the same text... BUT THE PRINCESS FUCKING MARRIES YOU!!! KICK FUCKING ASS

ohh and btw, the princess looks hot, go Milon (who looks like Link from OoA/OoS, just anime like)

[whaowman]

1:32 Look at his NES shelf. It was pretty short back then :)

But now it's even taller than The Nerd.

[gamefreakmandude123]

00:31 oh man i saw that shooter game from namco museum there... dear god i hate that godforsaken bag of rage... has he made a video for it yet?

[halfloafofkungfu]

Thank you for explaining the ass that's haunted me for decades.

[balderrobot1996]

"Fuck."

[koopa120]

I can't believe that Milon's Secret Castle made it into the Wii's Virtual Console. For 600 Wii Points.