Penn and Teller - Family Values (Full Episode)

[flatulentperdition]

15:18 inspires me to hurt people

[Wiggum1990]

clearly, lot of ASSHOLES around. F***** religious, racist, fundamantalist, conservative, pseudo- scientific... (list goes on and on) idiots around. Screw 'em all !

[ctraver]

If you don't like nontraditional family forms... Then just go traditional if/when you form your own family. Nothing is wrong with that, just don't try to force it on the rest of us.

[Tonio31]

Traditional Marriage = Arranged with no chance for divorce. Far different from the marriage we know today.

Don't ever let any anti-gay marriage bigot throw that "Traditional Marriage" crap at you.

[66XANDER66]

I was raised by 2 conservative, bigot, misogynist, homophobic, Christian parents.

My brother is conservative, Christian, repressed, successful, seemingly unhappy and a bigot.

I'm bipolar, have to see a psychiatrist and psychologist, I'm a liberal, I'm gay, open-minded. Your parents don't really have any influence on you unless you want them too. I was planned my brother wasn't.

[alexandrite014]

4 people don't know how to make dirty shadow puppets.

[casablanca4381]

bunies fucking lol

[casablanca4381]

i came from a two parent family . i turned out great teller

[CricketForestwater]

@casablanca4381 And I was raised pretty much only by my mom and I also turned out great. What's that got to do with anything? They're not saying "traditional" families are wrong...in fact, that's the point of the video. No type of family is wrong. All and any type of family can and will produce an equal amount of "good" and "bad" kids, it just depends on the individuals raising them, not the family structure.

[casablanca4381]

i  want to marry a guyu devoted and loves me and i him. sorry that's how i feel about marriage

[IGaveMyNameToThatGuy]

unrealistic family values are what damages these kids, not unique their family structure. one very intelligent friend of mine always tested well but the school put it down to a computer error the first time and he always got Ds and Cs in class, when he was clearly doing better than that, because he was pigeon-holed as a hopeless kid from a single parent family. the head of year later admitted to this and apologised to him, when he left school with all Bs and As.

[BrandonGK]

How long do you think it will be until there's a a news story saying Michael Medved's been arrested for public indecency in a men's restroom. Probably with Brian Brown and/or that "Dick" character.

[handsup48]

Nothing is more sadder than loving someone and the majority of society saying "Thats wrong, and bad, lets mold you into our mindset"

[mssaraleah]

Being from a heterosexual family I can say that the gay family and the open marriage family function way better than mine does

[floydclaptonblues2]

26:10 ...well, no shit, sherlock. Unless they're butt-babies.

[Beanmachine91]

the traditional family sounds a lot like an unrealistic happening

[thEannoyingE]

Actually it was a They Live reference, Duke just borrowed it.

[thEannoyingE]

If she got sperm from her brother to get a kid, doesn't that count as incest?!

[thetwistedstreaks]

the "gay" therapist sucks off  every guy he treats nothing wrong with that

[hitokage4]

Is that Penn's real wife in bed with him?

[roadmasterestate]

Thanks for posting! Looooove me some BULL SHIT!

[PassTheMarmalade1957]

23:02 Saying that gay men are confused about their gender identity shows an obvious ignorance about what it is to be gay (which is surprising coming from somone so obviously closet homosexual as Dick.) Gay men are not just women in male bodies. Not all gay men are effeminate, and not all effeminate men are gay. I've met some guys in my life who, going by the stereotype, you'd think were gay, but had no interest in other guys at all.

[bflat86]

Marriage isn't a salad bar!

[keneth231742]

I am 18 years old and my mom raised my sister and me on her own, required no spousal support, our father never paid an ounce of child support [though that was because he left the country rather then help], and both of us kids from the evil non-"traditional family" are fully functioning adults. I dont like to generalize but Americana seem to be paranoid as shit when it comes to tradition family and kids. Also I meant none of that last part as an insult it was just an observation I could be wrong.

[davefigthe3rd]

Thumbs up if you disabled the pop ups and rewinded to the naked chicks

[SinnFein4ever]

16:50-17:10

See.

Monogamy works.

[GProduct]

Basing it on ideology and not lookin' to the science?!?!?!?! But that's what he's doing!

[v4lkyr]

.. a guy that says marriage isn't a salade bar lmfao

[morgannicgregor]

Teller doesn't talk much does he?

[PlatinumCRuX]

19:27 Got the duke nukem reference B)

[smithcas86]

@PlatinumCRuX Dont you mean a Rowdy Roddy Piper in "They Live" reference?

POP-CULTURE SLAM!!!

[BoosMama1110]

That "ex gay" therapist is repressed fuckwit. The APA and AMA have dismissed "gay conversion" therapy as unsupported, unethical and downright harmful.

[thEannoyingE]

@BoosMama1110 Harmful how?

[BoosMama1110]

@thEannoyingE The so called therapy (more like psychological abuse) that is touted by ministries isn't supported by the medical community for the sole reason that homosexuality isn't something to be repaired or "recovered from" . . . its not a disease. Using lies, shame and degradation to try to change a person from what they are is harmful. No one has to like or even approve of homosexuality but to imply that gay people need to be "fixed" is laughable and frankly disgusting.

[thEannoyingE]

@BoosMama1110 Well to me it seems like a personality/ learned behavior to me. I don't buy the notion that activists shove down our throats being "born this way" is complete bull-shit. Since there is no "gay/ homosexual gene" So in my mind while highly unlikely seems slightly possible to "cure" or "correct" these personalities. Also most "come out, or become" homosexual in their early teens. Why does this matter? They've have plenty exposure to them, giving teens plenty of time to

[GoongalaGoongala]

@thEannoyingE Are you retarded?!?! How does a homosexual learn to be gay growing up in a heterosexual household?! Face it, homosexual's brains are most likely wired slightly different. Its not a learned behavior. Stop being a dirty bigot and just accept that there are people who live life different than you and have different belief systems.

[thEannoyingE]

@GoongalaGoongala No I'm not retarded, I'm simply putting logic into an otherwise overblown condition. It doesn't matter if the parents are straight, teenagers are exposed to homosexuals every day, when you grown up around said people, teens that like the behavior, tend to mimic it and eventually have it overtake their straight personalities. It IS a learned behavior/personality. DEAL with it! There is no "homosexual/gay gene" making it a personality or behavioral disorder.

[thEannoyingE]

@GoongalaGoongala I do accept it. However, I only accept that it is a behavioral/ personality disorder that develops in teens and adults. The only thing that should STOP is your stupid flamboyant parades that mean nothing. The only thing they do is piss people off and block traffic! The "belief system" that exists is that these people believe that they develop this personality disorder. You're the moron for believing otherwise.

[BrandonGK]

@thEannoyingE If sexual preference is a learned behavior why isn't everyone straight? Heterosexuality has much more exposure in the culture at large.

[BoosMama1110]

Open relationships ROCK!

[maximus23623]

@RealCrusaderHistory But I guess your right. If a child has the possibility to get put with an extremely abusive STRAIGHT couple, as opposed to a loving and caring gay couple, the child should DEFINITELY go to the former, just because they are a straight couple.

[maximus23623]

@RealCrusadeHistory

While a mother and a father might be the best thing for them, you have to look at the fact that there are hundreds of foster kids that straight couples ARE NOT willing to adopt, that gay families are more than happy to welcome into there home and provide for them.

[OscarApollo]

"They're being motivated by their ideology, not by the science". Wow, that sure is a shiny mirror you got there. Funny how you haven't quoted, referenced or even told us where to find the "literally thousands of studies we have showing children do best with both a mom and a dad". I'm a psychology student doing developmental psychology this term. and I've looked at three case studies that showed the complete opposite. But I guess I was just imagining those.

[PassTheMarmalade1957]

The only thing that is different between a married couple and a non-married couple raising children is that the non-married couple won't have wedding photos to show their kids. People think that being married means you are in a stable, committed relationship, which is apparently the best environment to raise children in (Single parents are in fact just as good.) Thing is, if you decide to get married, then your relationship is ALREADY committed and stable. Marriage doesn't MAKE it that way.

[lovemusic1007]

why did he called them "girls" when they were wrong?? I dont really get that part

[shrikechan]

"Are you secure in your masculinity?" What an asshole question! Being a gay man does not mean being less male than a straight guy, that's insane! Does he also think that a lesbian is not a woman? What a moron! Gender is NOT sexuality.

[shrikechan]

"help people realize their heterosexual potential"? Oh! You mean surrender to homophobia! What fucking planet is he from? You have to be completely out of touch with reality and know absolutely nothing about sexuality to think something so god damn stupid and obviously false as that! Heterosexual and homosexual are both equally healthy! However, few people are strictly homo or hetero- most are actually bisexual, which is also healthy! But that's something people like Cohen will never admit to.

[shrikechan]

"When you get married, you trade adventure, and excitement, and the lure of the new for stability and predictability-" sounds fucking horrific

[shrikechan]

Funny, forcing someone to change everything about their self for you doesn't sound like love to me. I would never expect that from anyone.

[bax2684]

I just made a large poop.

[RealCrusadeHistory]

That idiot feminist said that male headed households are more likely to produce criminals? Total bullshit. Single-mother households produce FAR more crime. Statistics show that the presence of a father in a home greatly reduces the likelihood of problems like crime and drug abuse for the children. This episode is absolute intellectually vacuous garbage.

[RealCrusadeHistory]

This episode is total bullshit.

[Greatsaiyakirby]

0:12 Teller is Best Pony! :D

[chadbrochill61]

mmmm healthy man love

[amgr34umr]

Family isn't bullshit...it's just a VERY broad term to encompass a range of methods of how adults raise children. Babies can't survive by themselves, hence it is important for families to be part of the human race.

[AdventEdge]

@amgr34umr

He obviously isn't talking about the concept of a family, but moreso how people think families should be.

[GreenGearMood]

9:38

[manatsunoshi]

the only "normal" nuclear family in this is the lesbian family, oh well, the point they are trying to advocate so obviously *yawns*

[RealCrusadeHistory]

@manatsunoshi Lesbians can't have a family. Homosexuals should be forbidden to raise children.

[jbevan70]

@RealCrusadeHistory Thanks for the bigotry, fool. 

[AlbinoTanuki]

@RealCrusadeHistory Why? Most studies say gay people make for excellent parents. Besides, why deny them the right to raise children just because its not the cultural norm?

[OscarApollo]

@RealCrusadeHistory Consult the actual evidence and experts, and you'll find you're wrong. If you have any concrete, solid evidence that same-sex couples are worse at raising children than straight ones, as a RULE, come out (no pun intended) with it and be remembered as the greatest social scientist of our age. Oh, what's that? You don't have any? Then shut the fuck up and stop trusting your own ignorance.

[RealCrusadeHistory]

@OscarApollo Fuck you ignorant vermin. I can tell you right now I am infinitely better educated than you, and I probably read more books in a week than you've read in your brain-dead life. There is plenty of research indicating that homosexual parents cause problems for children, and there's even more evidence that the best thing for children is a mother and a father. You can shove your bullshit up your ass you pathetic sack of piss.

[OscarApollo]

@RealCrusadeHistory Can you point me towards any of this "research"? Or are you more interested in making childish insults? Funny how you cite evidence without quoting any of it. You're implying you know better than the trained professional social scientists who have been studying this shit their entire lives (i.e. the ones seen in this episode). You're challenging established scientific consensus without providing any evidence to support your claim. You're trusting your own ignorance.

[raizumichin]

@RealCrusadeHistory Wow. It was a long time since I last heard the "I'm right because I assume I read more books than you"-argument. Bravo.

[Applesmaush]

@RealCrusadeHistory

If you have to inflate your argument with petty, unjustified insults, chances are your evidence doesn't stack up to your claims.

How about you show us one independent study not funded by a biased organization that shows that homosexual couples, on average, produce children that are less successful in life than their straight couple counterparts. Then, and only then, can you tout your intelligence like it means something.

[HALPERT84]

this fat guy is anoying

[superclaydude]

@HALPERT84 To your mind, anyway.

[soopie1]

Every person male or female emits sexual hormones for both sexes to variant degree. MOst men have more testosteron than estrogen as most women have more estrogen and progestron than testosteron but it is there. There is no real men or real women that exclusively produce just one sex hormone and that is why this idealised picture of relationship is unattainable and abherently not 100% alluring. And marriage is only economic union and has nothing w love..it is just for property sharing for country

[misspinkpunkykat]

Before the industrual revolution, it wasn't uncommon for a girl to get married at start having children as young as 14. As soon as a girl started her period, she was considered a woman.

[dejavuman22]

Healthy Man Love?? Isn't that just homosexuality?



[OcoryustheBold]

So wait, the therapist guy was gay but knew that he wanted to marry a woman someday?

So he wanted a relationship with woman?

Then he wasn't gay to begin with.

What a schmuck

[KeshnerfFilms]

@OcoryustheBold Nonono. When he said he knew he was gay, he meant he had sexual attraction to men, but probably because of the status quo of society (having a traditional family) that had been implanted in his mind by his parents or others near him as a child, he most likely just wanted to stay away from complications and feel normal by having a wife. I remember that's how I was. I would try to want a woman when I really wanted a man. The guy is the total personification of bullshit.

[jursamaj]

@OcoryustheBold

Either he's bi, or he wants the relationship because his church has told him it's the relationship he *should* want.

[KajexFiredrake]

@OcoryustheBold

You'd think so.

Except he cheated on her.

Several times.

With guys.

After they were married. :P

[Diemedes]

I fucking LOVE this show.

[ChickenRamen]

Good video to show people who bitch about gay marriage.

[GryffinDarkBreed]

"I wasn't born gay, I was born to have a wife and child" Then you are bisexual. Deal with it.

[PassTheMarmalade1957]

7:32 "I live in a place called the United States of America..."

Oh God, here we go! *head hits desk*

[funcpl2741054]

Michael Medved's world sounds like hell on earth

[ThorFan4Life]

Boobs

[daPlumber702]

As much as I agree with the idea of the show and marriage being bullshit, the other side of the coin freaks me out just as much.. Swingers to me just seem nasty.. no other word I can think of for it, just bleh. And I've seen too many homosexual couples that push homosexual-ness on their kids. It's one thing if you're gay and you make that decision it's another when your parents ingrain it into you. The possibility of a generation of sexually confused children of gay couples is scary to me.

[Picasso43967]

@daPlumber702

Except that being gay or not can't be effected by parents.

If that was the case then anyone raised in a straight family would be straight.

I also don't see how you can have problems with swingers. They're not exactly harming anyone.

[daPlumber702]

@Picasso43967 I don't really have a problem with swingers at all, they can do what they want, I just think of it as nasty... there's a difference :)

I wasn't saying every kid raised by a 2 guys or 2 girls would be gay. I was saying that I personally have seen the child of a lesbian relationship who was astoundingly confused about his sexuality.

[daPlumber702]

@Picasso43967 His mom's treated him as a homosexual for most of his childhood.. I personally witnessed them asking him if he thought this boy was cute or that boy was cute, among other examples... That isn't the only family example I've seen of it, though I will admit it's rare. I would be just as strongly against a straight family trying to force their views and choices onto a kid. It should be a situation where all information is given for the child to make their own choices.

[Picasso43967]

@daPlumber702

A child being treaten as a homosexual doesn't make him homosexual.

That's my only point.

It's not a choice either. At least I can't remember when I chose to like pussies as a guy.

[daPlumber702]

@Picasso43967 I agree. It may not make a child homosexual, but I think it can and have seen it mess with a childs head. That's my only point. It not making the child homosexual just adds to the fuckedupness of it.

No not a choice but a greatly mental thing.  And a childhood filled with mixed messages one coming from yourself and others coming from your parents can lead to well IDK it's just something that halfway kinda sorta concerns me. In the end though to each their own.

[Picasso43967]

@daPlumber702

Well I can ofcourse agree that it's not good for the kid to get either message really.

Seriously leave kids be on this sort of issues. It's hard enough figuring out this sort of stuff on your own without getting mixed signals.

[ozarkmac]

Dick still spikes the gaydar.

[lolraptourz]

Sweet! You can still see the nudity if you just turn off annotations!

Win.

[Hutcherie]

Does that one psychologist believe that two women can raise children better than two men? Or did the editors just cut off the part where she said that she can't think of a attribute that women have that men don't?

[engraveddrummer]

Healthy man love is rejuvenating :)

[mechanoid2k]

@engraveddrummer healthy man love is rejuvenating, Imagine how crap it would be if there was a woman present everywhere you are. at least one woman per social group you're with. That would be terrible. You need to hang out with the boys sometimes

[engraveddrummer]

@mechanoid2k I know.

[halloweenfan92]

i was raised by my grandmother and a step granfather who is 20 years younge (shes 52 hes 31) and im 18 lived a loving life i never been in jail or anything no problems no fucking nothing family values can fucking blow me

[iamthe3rd]

Not gonna lie, I wouldn't have minded having two moms... nothing against my dad of course.

[lulzgam3r]

LuL, Duke Nukem reference.

[wp4866]

i'd like to turn that salad bar guy into chopped spinach.

[DisappointingPorn]

Lol aww...one of the lesbians is wearing Birkenstocks. So adorably cliché!! Let's see the other one recycle something...

[mellamosean]

also...are the boyfriend and girlfriend of that couple bangin each other or anyone else? Otherwise I feel they're getting the short stick here...

[mellamosean]

go ahead... have whatever family formation you like. But what do kids call their moms if they have 2? "Mom-one!? Mom-two won't let me watch t.v.!" But really, what is the common practice here?

[openmindedozzie]

I have a husband, and a fuck buddy, its awesome... :-) Its good to be a chick...

[mellamosean]

@openmindedozzie

what does being a chick have to do with that? A guy can have a wife and a fuck buddy...or, for that matter, a husband and a fuck buddy

[openmindedozzie]

@mellamosean just saying its good... Why did you need the clarification????

[mellamosean]

@openmindedozzie

I don't neeeed a clarification...just wondering what being a chick had to do with that.

I don't neeeed a clarification...just wondering what being a chick had to do with that.

I don't neeeed a clarification...just wondering what being a chick had to do with that.

I don't neeeed a clarification...just wondering what being a chick had to do with that.

[openmindedozzie]

@mellamosean Oh I can see you have trouble understanding so I wont bother..... Poor American....

[mellamosean]

@openmindedozzie

Yes, if only I had the brain capacity of an Ausie...

[openmindedozzie]

@mellamosean YOU CANT EVEN SPELL FUCKWIT>>>>>

[mellamosean]

@openmindedozzie

Is that a trick question? F-U-C-K-W-I-T ... FUCKWIT....or is it FUCK-WIT? Hmm, can I have the language of origin?

[openmindedozzie]

@mellamosean Lol... Touche dude... That's actually pretty cool.... :-)

[mellamosean]

@openmindedozzie

friends?

[openmindedozzie]

@mellamosean Yup friends... :-)

[TheArsenique]

Did anyone else saw the hand of the man on Dick's couch? (Leigh) Someone is regretting something. 

[notbobby125]

The duck may of been a bit of deeper joke then it appears.

Ducks have some really strange mating habits, from harems, to both partners cheating, to just plain old rape.

Literally, male and female ducks are having an evolutionary arms race. Female ducks are building up defences against the constant rape, and the male ducks find creative ways around it, including atleast one species whos baby making rod is longer then his own body.

[orangemod]

I don't see any big argument either way. Marriage works great for some people, bad for others. My Parents were completely happy for 54 years until my Dad passed away 3 years ago. My marriage didn't work out so well. You wanna marry some guy, I don't care. Being single makes you happy? Go be single. Marriage to a woman makes you happy...do that. Everyone is different and there really is no controversy as I see it. Life is too short to be unhappy.

[superdog797]

@orangemod yea you're right

is your wife hot

[halloweenfan92]

i bet dick sucks male prostitutes dicks in a public bathroom just like all the rest of the self hating gays who want to find a "cure"

[1nsaneguerill4]

A man cant show a girl how to be a woman...and a woman cant show a boy how to be a man...so i call bullshit on that one too.

[Lunabeam1]

FUCK MARRIAGE!!! IT IS A WASTE OF TIME, MONEY AND IS A STRAIN AND STRESSFUL LIFE STYLE!!

[Lunabeam1]

Marriage is a fucking joke!! The divorce rate is laughable!

[DeoMachina]

3.14 AWWW YEAH

[Primordialfan1]

''I don't think there's a single characteristic that men have that women don't share''.

I'm sorry but I call bullshit on that. Male influence (doesn't have to be in the family) is hugely important and has positive benefits that women cannot provide.

[TairyGreen89]

@Primordialfan1 Yeah I completely agree. What an arrogant bitch. Sounds like a man hating feminist to me.

[TheBlurryGentleman]

There is still time Penn; you can still become a cowboy!

[happychick1973]

the bible condones polygamy exodus 21:10

If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights.

[Solaris1493]

Damn it, I was eating by the end; almost made me choke by way of surprise laughter.

[moose656]

At 19:26 Duke Nukem reference lol!

[inferno336]

Thumbs up if you think that dirty hand shadows are just great!

[aakkoin]

Marriage isn't a salad bar!

[supb2000]

WOW crazy shit!!!

[TBlenx1995]

Jesus had two dads and he turned out fine.

[TwyztdValkyrie]

@TBlenx1995 A meglomaniac who heard voices, did magic tricks and came back as a zombie? After being executed as a criminal? That's fine?!?!! xD Settin' the bar pretty low here.... ^__^

[PT109Boat]

@TBlenx1995 Best comment EVER!!!

[xyoop]

@TBlenx1995 turned out fine? really? he ended up on a cross

[smwExpert]

@TBlenx1995 No, he helped create Christianity, he did't turn out fine

[0neDoomedSpaceMarine]

@smwExpert

Yeah, and can you just imagine the kind of complexes he must have developed "being the son of god", and spitting on lepers to cure them?

And not to talk about turning water into wine, I mean, if that wasn't a risk of alcoholism, then he must have been quite the enabler. Yeah, it's a cool trick, but what actual good did it serve mankind? Seems like it was to tempt people to join him.

"Christianity? I dunno, sounds lame... Free wine? I'm there!"

[noesfan1]

@CrystalEye736 thanks for posting these in there entirety!

[RadioLaPrincess]

I'm pretty liberal and do accept homosexual marriages, but disapprove of having children out of wedlock. The reason is because in most cases we pay for this "choice". I hope to eventually marry but only if the guy is not a sexist pig.

[Thelondonbadger]

@RadioLaPrincess So your against adoptions in all forms and bastards? Im afraid a few presidents are bastards and so were a few founding fathers children.Barrack obbama whose dad used his mothers naivety(got married at 17 aka statuetory rape and bigamy since he was alrdy married) to get a backdoor into the united states then dumped her not even sending money to look after poor il barrack.Does this sound like good family values?Men pay alimony which is outdated now the us has affirmative action.

[RadioLaPrincess]

@Thelondonbadger I am not against abortion or adoption at all. I am against the problem we have in this country with the whole baby mama/baby daddy situation. I blame both people. I do not support men paying alimony though. Child support, yes.

[CrystalEye736]

@RadioLaPrincess What does alimony have to do with children? With alimony the spouse that makes the most money (regardless of sex, there are plenty of women that pay it too) gives some money, determined by a judge, to their former spouse until he or she gets remarried. It really is a completely seperate issue, not all spouses are required to pay it and certainly it is not something that is exclusive to men

[RadioLaPrincess]

@CrystalEye736 I was responding to thelondonbadger who mentioned alimony and men. I do not support anyone paying alimony to anyone.

[alipdf]

@RadioLaPrincess

i very much agree about the whole children out of wedlock thingy,I will never accept that unless you wanted to have a kid, if you irresponsible,stupid or cannot use protection then i can never accept it,Control your damn sperm,This isnt some game,its a human that is yours...Some people..

[RadioLaPrincess]

@alipdf It's definitely a problem in today's society. If I was worried about having kids (and most of my life I was)I either abstained or used one or more birth control methods. Today though many are like they would rather get benefits for being careless.

[BortolanAlexandre]

OH MY GOD HOW DID HE DO THAT SHADOW THING TELLER IS A GENIUS

[webcamrandomness14]

i really thought he was gonna say god in the intro

[thewarriorsrok]

Thank god I can turn off annotations.