I agree, kind of the opposite situation. I dressed like such a boi for years, now i just turned 25 and my hair is growing and im dressing girly and unfortunately Im enjoying the girly look for myself, but I am getting hit on my guys a whole lot more now. And its rediculous. I want to tattoo a big L on my forehead or something ya know? but eventually I may just retract because its a bit uncomfortable at times. Like no dude I am gay, yes femme but soo sooo gay lol
Ive been out for a while, and i'm dating a an amazing girl, but it's still hard for people to believe that i'am not straight... It's pretty frustrating. They look at me and they automatically assume that i'am straight.
@LESLIEMEDRANO amazing people would assume that considering only 97% of people are straight.. what you suffer from is a normal condition that leads people to believe that most people are like the tiny little clique of people that they hang with when in fact, nothing could be further from the truth.. it doesn't matter what clique you hang with either, you and your friends are a minority...
Wow. THIS is an education... I'm a married man (25 years), straight, and father of a teenage girl. I thought I was well-educated on the topic but I learned a few things about what young women who happen to be lesbians deal with. Thank you!
i have that problem. i look pretty girly and i'm attracted to other girly girls. so it sux cuz it seems like so many femms are only attracted to butch girls. =/
Ya know, I def. fit the stereotype of lesbian, with my short hair and "androgynous" clothing style and so on. And YET, it doesn't get me more girls at all! If I just go about my life not putting an effort out there, I find myself surrounded by nothing but straight people because they're the majority. I have all these guys hitting on me all the time and ZERO women! Only woman who's hit on me lately is bicurious straight! You *have* to join the community 'cause what you look like is so irrelevant.
my partner and i are both total lipsticks. really girls, really REALLY girly in fact ;) no one knows we're gay until we tell them or kiss in front of them. do we care? nope. i agree with dora24rose who said "love finds you no matter what you are wearing".
@markm856 What are you talking about? Queer women who look feminine are by FAR the majority. There are probably 100 times more lesbians with long hair than gay men with long hair, for example.
whats the deal with the butch & fem thing? Why would a lesbian want a woman who acts like a man and why would a gay guy like a dude who acts like a woman? If youre gay you're supposed to like the same sex.
......its frustrating to me that theres a "part" to look like....can't I just look like me...and be a lesbian...No one ever believes im gay...luckily I am in a happy long term relationship and my partner loves the way I look. I wonder for the rest of my single ultra femme lesbian friends though if girls that don't "look the part" aren't attractive to the girls that do "look the part" ...did that make sense?
@christina52480 No way! Girls who "look straight" are way hot! It's just that if you can imagine their boyfriend standing right next to them it can be hard to go up and talk to them.
I have long hair. I like skirts, i like makeup and i am extremely feminine in the way i act. Buuuut! I also have tons of lez friends and yet NOTHING. I've even had my close friends tell me i give off absolutely no gay vibe. Makes meeting girls preeeeetty difficult.
awesome video once again :) i'm actually pretty freakin excited cuz i just got my first girlfriend...and seriously, i was missing out big time before. nothing against guys or anything (they're cool friends) but i just have never been able to click with one the way i do with a girl.. it's pretty crazy/amazing :P
I was in the locker room, talking about the GSA meeting I had just been to, and she told me she was gay, and I told her I was. We became good friends, which led to a relationship. It was really unexpected, but really awesome.
We're both kind of...girly. She looks more the part than I do, but not by much. XD
oh gaaad, I love these videos. I recently discovered them ( I knoww, iall late) & I must say they make my day(s). Is there an email I can perhaps reach you on? Or do people just ask questions on here?
Hi, great vid! Makes me wuna get sum rainbows, iv resently admited in a lez and im a bit of a fem soo hmm i do need some more gay friends so i can met some girls, we have 1 gaybar that i go to sumtimes, but stil dont seem to get picked up..
Hi, great vid! Makes me wuna get sum rainbows, iv resently admited in a lez and im a bit of a fem soo hmm i do need some more gay friends so i can met some girls, we have 1 gaybar that i go to sumtimes, but stil dont seem to get picked up, my new half sleeve tat helping a bit though haha and thanx 4 evry vid!
Hi, great vid! Makes me wuna get sum rainbows, iv resently admited in a lez and im a bit of a fem soo hmm i do need some more gay friends so i can met some girls, we have 1 gaybar that i go to sumtimes, but stil dont seem to get picked up, my new half sleeve tat helping a bit though haha and thanx 4 evry vid, beaverbunch has helped me be comfy in myself
i get so mad sometimes becuse i recently came out to my friends and i they didnt know that i was a lez. i cant see myself cutting my hair o actting manly, it's a bit hard. men are still hitting on me and i hope that people take me seriously
hahaha omg so when you were describing how you looked 16-19..........rofl im 18. bleach straight long hair, rainbow jewlery, dresses..u basically described who i am right now lol and exactly what im trying to do. but im cutting my hair off soon :) still bleach though(looks best on me) and im gonna slow down on the SUPER GIRLY stuff, the "like ommggggg" phase. and look physically more gay. :)
Ive never really realized how hard it would be for someone who doesnt look gay but is, Im so used to it being a obvious thing that I guess I havent really dwelled to much on the otherside of things. And 'The Chart' lol, soo true.
i look gay without even trying, and now that comes in handy i'm not officially out to many people and im not sure if i want to tell my parents yet. but yeah if you have any tips for me on how i can tell them. that would be muuuuuch appreciated!
hey ") i just subscribed to your channel because my best friend has been watching it for a while and ive seen it a couple of times with her and you guys are awesome. I really like this video and I had a question but im not sure how im suppose to ask .
great video, made me remember how hard is was at times to be gay, i was born in 1965, so i know how hard it can be, and the people that were out long before me, are amazing! its not easy being gay. luckier are you today, coming out.
back in the day i had a safe boyfriend in another country, lol, like many other gays it saved us frome the questions and the awkward answers.
come out if you can and will be safe, it will truly make you feel better, and you will be able to achieve greater things!!
dude there was a coffee shop by me (well kind of by me...half hour away) when i was in high school, that all the gays went to...it got shut down years ago, sadly, due hard drug trafficking, but nevertheless it was the place to be!! so much fun. R.I.P. Node!!
hey first of all i wanna say thanx for this video. i know its a little late that i'm commenting. i wish their were more gay lesbian things here in calgary. i joined youtube a few weeks ago started my own blog so i could meet new lesbian friends the only lesbians i know is my girlfriend (who is bi) and my ex girlfriend who doesnt like the "scene". lol but your right online is a great place to meet people
I have to say that I agree, as a (lipstick) I have found that I did not want to change who I was or what I wear just because the person next to me is a girl instead of a boy. Every girl that I have dated has enjoyed the fact that I kept my style, and did not try to conform to some idea of what a lesbian was supposed to look like. I hope that as the young lesbians come out that they stick to who they are, and not try to become someone else. LOVE finds you no matter what you are wearing.
@dora24rose It's the opposite for myself; I felt like I was not being myself by having long, long hair and wearing "sexy" club clothes to a bar, wearing more makeup...It just felt WRONG to me. I cut my hair-it's still shoulder length but I cut off a good six inches. I'm not trying to look like a lesbian, I just feel more comfortable wearing a t-shirt and jeans with a hoodie with short-ER hair. It just happens to be how a lot of lesbians dress.
Every Wednesday night there is a karaoke night on at local pub (you sing,and you get a free shot) :) and its not a gay night.. because our town is not so big we dont get one really.. sooo many of our gay mates go every wednesday just to chill and meet new friends of friends it's an awsome way to get to know new people. Xxx Jeorgie. XX
Jess, thank you! After watching your video I finally dragged myself to gay night at a club and I actually met some really nice people. It was kinda scary going alone but I'm so glad I did. So thank you! :o)
Coffee shops definatly. The coffee shop near my school is the hang out for the family. Super gay friendly, they even have a night for LGBT people once a month that everybody goes to.
great vid Jess.. I'm a baby les.. lol guess because I didn't come fully out till what a year ago.. but anyways I got so comfortable with who I am that i do actually look the part now. Kinda weird for me, since I was always getting hit on my guys (yuck) sorry... but now it's nice to see the girls looking... ahh.. :D yea big smile on my face lol. TY again jess.. love your videos and all the B.Bunch vids
Great video, Jess. We have a local T-Dance where people can get together but it's mostly men so the women have a little tougher time. Also, we have the Lik-a-Chic get togethers that go on.
ahhh man i feel you... that sucks. but you should definately get to know your sisters. cause they will more than likely introduce you into the community. dive in.
I recently acquired a black wristband with a rainbow heart on it. It seems to be at least getting me noticed as a lesbian instead of getting looks that say "Gawd I hope she's gay..." xD
Love the vid! The most annoying thing to me is when a guy hits on me and I tell him im lesbian and he goes... thats so hott... and tries to get my number still? I need a rainbow around me lol
If the guy likes you and wants to spend time with you and asks for your number, I cant really see why thats annoying.
Its been established that there is no chance of a physical relationship. It would seem to me that, this would be the kind of person you could be friends with.
If you really didnt like him, you could have said, sorry I dont like you, or something like that.
That is barely ever the case with me. Most guys who hit on me go "oh Mami, but you haven't tried this d*(& yet." Seriously. I just feel so disrespected and I feel scummy. Since I'm so gracious of a woman and all, why am I treated this way? This isn't just about me, but all the other beautiful women that deal with this; gay or straight. It's so disgusting.
i agree, alot of guys can be douche bags, especially toward gay women. if you give them the cold shoulder, its only because they deserve it. from what u've written so far, i can rell ur a nice person and nice ppl shouldnt feel this way ,so screw those douche bag dudes and focus on the ppl u like best :)
I deffinately don't look my sexuality... I usually have a small rainbow keychain or something, and openly flirt with girls with more serious tones than with friends... does that make sense? ah well
lol no im not heterophobic, most of my friends are straight guys, i love hangin with my boys, its when the guys find it as a challenge to try and get me to turn :straight" because I havent met the right guy. They'll be like, oh you like girls? i can change that. Thats where it gets me. I have noooo problem with straight guys. or with anyone. its allllll goooood.
I do try not to be heterophobic. I mean, I would want straight folks to treat me with the same respect I want from them. Certain things I can't help and is not my fault though. Like the fact that I'm not attracted to guys. I'm actually kind of squeamish. I don't hate men. Please don't get the wrong idea. I just can't see them in a romantic of sexual way. When guys know I'm gay and still try to hit on me I just feel disrespected.
I have not met anyone online and never will myself, just my way of doing things.part of it is trust issues of course but if it works for others then more power for them
I don't know, I met my first girlfriend on myspace, but since then, I have had some issues in just finding friends. I think it is just them seeing a picture and not even wanting to be friends because of looks. It is so weird to me, lol. Great for the Beaver Bunch. Have a good one.
The Internet is full of varies social websites that can help connect with in the LGBT community plus there are those places out side the Web that can help in that as well. So is wearing anything that has the rainbow colors on necessary to get attention or just being yourself a better way to go then?
IDK for some reason I never felt the need to "look" lesbian. Not that I have a problem with people who do, but frankly, I think I look beter on my girly-kind-of-prep style, and boy I love looking good.
Anyways the point of the comment was I've never looked "gay" and I've never had trouble meeting girls :s but then, that's just me, and I guess hanging out at places full of lesbians helps too xD
i really wish they had youth groups and meetings like that around where i live. that would things a lot easier. just to have someone to talk to that you could relate to.
Around here wearing rainbow is fashion. people will wear rainbow to look colorful. so most people don't even know some people wear it to show off that you are gay.
anyway, I'm glad Mary b. is back in your arms. =]
somehow, you give my hope Jess, because in my region, there are no places to go for gay people, no meeting points or youth centers for gay people etc. it's difficult to find gay people here.. i really don't know how to meet them. In like 3 weeks here is a party called "gaylicious" but i have no one to come with me.. this would be such a great chance for me! but i'm not going alone :x
I wrote like a twelve message long comment but deleted it cause it was so horrible and despressing haha.
Basically, when you are gay, 17 and your parents aren't cool about it ESPECIALLY when you live in a Queensland city in Australia... Your life is going to suck until you more out of home.
That is all. :(
And the finding a girl thing. I remember when I was 14 and knew something was up with me, wishing desperately that I could meet some girl with short hair who was totally hot and gay. *sigh*
i found that having a super mouthy best mate helps to get the word around, especially when the intro to meeting her new mates is 'this is rosie my best mate, she's gay.'
and i agree with gijohazelwoods, some girly pics wouldn't go a miss (:
I got the same glasses than you Jess. i thought it might help! ha ha... Actually I didn't realise until I watched one of you vlog again. And I was like wow... I'm actually inspired by the BB when it comes to fashion. And I wear bandanas now. I still look straight though. Oh well... I guess being recognised as gay is more about the attitude than about the looks.
Hmm. Yeah, I'm not too sure about the whole "looking" gay thing. I suppose to look gay is to wear rainbow gear? I don't know...but what I DO know is...I can smell a lesbian from a mile away--whether they "look" gay or not. Sixth sense? Eh. Call it a gift. Haha.
i love your vids! you inspire me so much always! im 16 and u have been of great help to me thank you really. specially under all these circumstances that im in...THANK YOU.
By the way...thank you Jess for continuing to make videos. I don't know you personally but it makes me feel good to know that you ladies are out there.
I got tired of trying to find gay lady friends, started my own group on campus and found TONS of great friends. Ladies if you can't find them make them come to you!! I'd also recommend volunteering for anything and everything related to gay causes. P.S. -Every gay man knows at least one lesbian! Find a girl with the help of your bestest homo.
Now that a bunch of straight girls are adopting a more lesbian style, if that is a real category of style, I wonder if it causes a lot of unwanted advances from lesbians. Maybe the lesbian look will shift to a more femme look as straight girls become more butch, just generally obviously, as lesbians and straights can clearly wear whatever they like regardless of stereotypes.
Hahahaha! I'm 25 and this summer was my first Pride and i was the only girl in a skirt and heals. The only way people knew i was gay was when i was holding my girlfriends hand.
lol i know exactly what you mean. i was just telling my friend that i hoped she would take a class with me so we could talk about me being gay in class and make it a little easier to tell for "potential suitors" to be able to tell
Right back at you Jess! Although I obviously don't know any of the Beavs very well, I definitely love what you all have chosen to share about yourselves, and how you're all dedicated to being there for your viewers. You're all clearly good peeps, as I'm sure you know.
So what do we do when we r very shy and quiet and not to out going?! ohh yeah and the bigger problem... im not butch or femme! every1 gets confused with me! HELP
You don't have to fall into either butch or femme. Just be who you are. If you'd feel more comfortable with a label, maybe you should consider "androgenous". I heard that in classical greece androgenous people were considered the most attractive!
Also, perhaps this will help with the shyness: sometimes people fall into the habit of looking for the differences between themselves and others, but it's so much nicer to look for common ground!
What is with this "looking gay" thing? Not all gay people look gay. For instance, Michelle is femme and doesn't "look gay". People should be able to look and express themselves however they want to. They shouldn't look the same.
wow jess you are sooo amazingg! like u really inspire meee and i really appreciate that so thanks =] keep up ur great vids! cant wait for the next oneeee =D
I'm all for rainbow flags. However, if I left the house looking like rainbow bright:) in my opinion that would be an attempt to stroke my ego that felt inferior to the heterosexual sitting next to me on the subway. I'm an equal regardless of who I share my bed with and I'm gay regardless of my reflection to the world.
what is "looking gay" I like my really long hair and my closet of dresses and high heels that doesn't make me any less of a lesbian than the next girl. "looking straight" by acknowledging these stereotypes of what is gay, straight, etc. how is society ever going to move forward towards equality?
which is why i said things have changed over the past 10 years. looking gay over a decade ago isn't remotely close to identifying with the lgbt community these days. again, don't be gay first is what i was trying to stress because there shouldn't be such a thing.
yeah, so I sounded half bitchy, which is really not what I intended. It's just frustrating when you read on here people who are still today regardless of the progression of the lgbt community and a greater degree of acceptance (getting there) from society afraid to be who they are internally and externally. I agree 100% not to be gay first. Last time I checked I don't shake someone's hand and say, hi I'm Lindsay and I'm gay..haha. Anyway, I honestly did think this was a great video.
Thank you Jess, I know you get that a lot. I know. All 5 beav's dish out amazing advice, it never fails. This is a greaaaat topic, and it honeslty does help :D
Where is this coffee shop? :)
MsDarlingdino 3 weeks ago
@jeaniebeanie420 a big l on the forehead means loser lol maybe u should get a rainbow on ur forehead:)
ashlielover05 5 months ago
I agree, kind of the opposite situation. I dressed like such a boi for years, now i just turned 25 and my hair is growing and im dressing girly and unfortunately Im enjoying the girly look for myself, but I am getting hit on my guys a whole lot more now. And its rediculous. I want to tattoo a big L on my forehead or something ya know? but eventually I may just retract because its a bit uncomfortable at times. Like no dude I am gay, yes femme but soo sooo gay lol
jeaniebeanie420 9 months ago
Ive been out for a while, and i'm dating a an amazing girl, but it's still hard for people to believe that i'am not straight... It's pretty frustrating. They look at me and they automatically assume that i'am straight.
LESLIEMEDRANO 1 year ago
@LESLIEMEDRANO amazing people would assume that considering only 97% of people are straight.. what you suffer from is a normal condition that leads people to believe that most people are like the tiny little clique of people that they hang with when in fact, nothing could be further from the truth.. it doesn't matter what clique you hang with either, you and your friends are a minority...
MrMeanderthal 3 weeks ago
FIFTEEN YEARS AGO!?!!?? your OLD!!!11!!!one!!11!
YoTengoTomatoes 1 year ago
Wow. THIS is an education... I'm a married man (25 years), straight, and father of a teenage girl. I thought I was well-educated on the topic but I learned a few things about what young women who happen to be lesbians deal with. Thank you!
tombrisson 1 year ago 8
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tombrisson 1 year ago
i have that problem. i look pretty girly and i'm attracted to other girly girls. so it sux cuz it seems like so many femms are only attracted to butch girls. =/
TheWhiterose82 1 year ago 2
Ya know, I def. fit the stereotype of lesbian, with my short hair and "androgynous" clothing style and so on. And YET, it doesn't get me more girls at all! If I just go about my life not putting an effort out there, I find myself surrounded by nothing but straight people because they're the majority. I have all these guys hitting on me all the time and ZERO women! Only woman who's hit on me lately is bicurious straight! You *have* to join the community 'cause what you look like is so irrelevant.
Aprinsa 1 year ago 3
my partner and i are both total lipsticks. really girls, really REALLY girly in fact ;) no one knows we're gay until we tell them or kiss in front of them. do we care? nope. i agree with dora24rose who said "love finds you no matter what you are wearing".
sbort 1 year ago
homosexual women that look "girly" are the minority, whereas, the "dyke" look i.e. women that dress like 13 year old boys are mostly the norm.
markm856 1 year ago
@markm856 What are you talking about? Queer women who look feminine are by FAR the majority. There are probably 100 times more lesbians with long hair than gay men with long hair, for example.
Aprinsa 1 year ago
@Aprinsa well, i really don't see it.
markm856 1 year ago
whats the deal with the butch & fem thing? Why would a lesbian want a woman who acts like a man and why would a gay guy like a dude who acts like a woman? If youre gay you're supposed to like the same sex.
themeaningoflife38 1 year ago
Thanks for posting this! I am actually inspired to join a group in my community. Thanks!! <3
SemperSilver 1 year ago
......its frustrating to me that theres a "part" to look like....can't I just look like me...and be a lesbian...No one ever believes im gay...luckily I am in a happy long term relationship and my partner loves the way I look. I wonder for the rest of my single ultra femme lesbian friends though if girls that don't "look the part" aren't attractive to the girls that do "look the part" ...did that make sense?
christina52480 1 year ago
@christina52480 No way! Girls who "look straight" are way hot! It's just that if you can imagine their boyfriend standing right next to them it can be hard to go up and talk to them.
Not that that makes it okay not to! :)
nannoninn 1 year ago
How much do you love your sister Ally? :) hahahaha
allybelle09 1 year ago
I have long hair. I like skirts, i like makeup and i am extremely feminine in the way i act. Buuuut! I also have tons of lez friends and yet NOTHING. I've even had my close friends tell me i give off absolutely no gay vibe. Makes meeting girls preeeeetty difficult.
moofjuice 1 year ago
@moofjuice i have that same problem
BrokenWings94 1 year ago
awesome video once again :) i'm actually pretty freakin excited cuz i just got my first girlfriend...and seriously, i was missing out big time before. nothing against guys or anything (they're cool friends) but i just have never been able to click with one the way i do with a girl.. it's pretty crazy/amazing :P
greendayaremyheros 1 year ago
I met my girlfriend at school, ironically.
I was in the locker room, talking about the GSA meeting I had just been to, and she told me she was gay, and I told her I was. We became good friends, which led to a relationship. It was really unexpected, but really awesome.
We're both kind of...girly. She looks more the part than I do, but not by much. XD
pyleofgracie 1 year ago
Just wear a shirt that says: I'm gay! ....
NathanDftba 1 year ago
oh gaaad, I love these videos. I recently discovered them ( I knoww, iall late) & I must say they make my day(s). Is there an email I can perhaps reach you on? Or do people just ask questions on here?
FUFORIA 1 year ago
Hi, great vid! Makes me wuna get sum rainbows, iv resently admited in a lez and im a bit of a fem soo hmm i do need some more gay friends so i can met some girls, we have 1 gaybar that i go to sumtimes, but stil dont seem to get picked up..
yoyodindin 1 year ago
Hi, great vid! Makes me wuna get sum rainbows, iv resently admited in a lez and im a bit of a fem soo hmm i do need some more gay friends so i can met some girls, we have 1 gaybar that i go to sumtimes, but stil dont seem to get picked up, my new half sleeve tat helping a bit though haha and thanx 4 evry vid!
yoyodindin 1 year ago
Hi, great vid! Makes me wuna get sum rainbows, iv resently admited in a lez and im a bit of a fem soo hmm i do need some more gay friends so i can met some girls, we have 1 gaybar that i go to sumtimes, but stil dont seem to get picked up, my new half sleeve tat helping a bit though haha and thanx 4 evry vid, beaverbunch has helped me be comfy in myself
yoyodindin 1 year ago
i get so mad sometimes becuse i recently came out to my friends and i they didnt know that i was a lez. i cant see myself cutting my hair o actting manly, it's a bit hard. men are still hitting on me and i hope that people take me seriously
jennirocks18 1 year ago 2
i look the part o-o and i dont try at all D:
CreedofChaos 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
that girl manager disputes rumors that she is a hermaphrodite - "NakedLady gaga D0TT comm" NSFW
demzom80 1 year ago
Lol "the chart" - L word Alice = you kinda look like her ;) beauutiful!!!!
--when i was "younger" and new in town i went to this lesbian cafe and...taran: only old women...that was sad U_U...
JessoTorfer 1 year ago
i think glasses are sexy
taijacmonkey 1 year ago
hahaha omg so when you were describing how you looked 16-19..........rofl im 18. bleach straight long hair, rainbow jewlery, dresses..u basically described who i am right now lol and exactly what im trying to do. but im cutting my hair off soon :) still bleach though(looks best on me) and im gonna slow down on the SUPER GIRLY stuff, the "like ommggggg" phase. and look physically more gay. :)
pinkloveles 1 year ago
@pinkloveles we can swap lol im going girly the guy way
blazerrips91 1 year ago
Ive never really realized how hard it would be for someone who doesnt look gay but is, Im so used to it being a obvious thing that I guess I havent really dwelled to much on the otherside of things. And 'The Chart' lol, soo true.
PyxiStyx 1 year ago
i look gay without even trying, and now that comes in handy i'm not officially out to many people and im not sure if i want to tell my parents yet. but yeah if you have any tips for me on how i can tell them. that would be muuuuuch appreciated!
screeeeeeeee 1 year ago
I don't look gay, and I hate it! I don't even think wearing RAINBOW makes me look gay :(
EmilyandNikki 1 year ago 5
:) <3 !!
chloemad 1 year ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
yall nasty bitchess thinkk GAY cool hell nawl i like DICK
bishhification 1 year ago
i gave this a thumbs up because its so hilarious and i think you're joking. hahahaha
standcm12 1 year ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
all yall hoeszx nastyy
bishhification 1 year ago
Your so pretty.
Your girlfriend is a very lucky lady.
Good luck with all =]
shelbeach 1 year ago 2
hey ") i just subscribed to your channel because my best friend has been watching it for a while and ive seen it a couple of times with her and you guys are awesome. I really like this video and I had a question but im not sure how im suppose to ask .
wingsamelia 1 year ago
great video, made me remember how hard is was at times to be gay, i was born in 1965, so i know how hard it can be, and the people that were out long before me, are amazing! its not easy being gay. luckier are you today, coming out.
back in the day i had a safe boyfriend in another country, lol, like many other gays it saved us frome the questions and the awkward answers.
come out if you can and will be safe, it will truly make you feel better, and you will be able to achieve greater things!!
Jax9876543210 2 years ago
dude there was a coffee shop by me (well kind of by me...half hour away) when i was in high school, that all the gays went to...it got shut down years ago, sadly, due hard drug trafficking, but nevertheless it was the place to be!! so much fun. R.I.P. Node!!
drunkbutsober18 2 years ago
hey first of all i wanna say thanx for this video. i know its a little late that i'm commenting. i wish their were more gay lesbian things here in calgary. i joined youtube a few weeks ago started my own blog so i could meet new lesbian friends the only lesbians i know is my girlfriend (who is bi) and my ex girlfriend who doesnt like the "scene". lol but your right online is a great place to meet people
thefoxlesbo 2 years ago
Im glad i found this . I subed. so Perfect
Metrosexualmod27 2 years ago
thank you.
frickinscrewed 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
You're not a lesbian, you just have a fear of penentration:
penentrofobia... hahaha
Just kiding, keep licking. ;)
u2ber87 2 years ago
you remind me of my seventh grade science teacher....just a *little* bit.
thiscenturynow 2 years ago
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i got a new boy friend and i am a boy too heh GayBangz . Com is the real deal
GayBraandy88 2 years ago
by far my favorite video ever!!!! <3
kevogr08 2 years ago
Haha the whole rainbow thing is me too.
twizzlersandcameras 2 years ago 2
JESS HAVE U GOT a PHOTO OF YOU LIKE A STRAIGHT GIRL? PLEASE can you SHARE it to US??THANKS a BUNCH...
daficonz 2 years ago 77
...?
adri92239 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
This was actually really helpful :)
LittleMiss007 2 years ago 3
as wierd and bad as it sounds i def agree with finding people on youtube...i dont really understand how that works on myspace but youtube def
freakyjay12 2 years ago
I have to say that I agree, as a (lipstick) I have found that I did not want to change who I was or what I wear just because the person next to me is a girl instead of a boy. Every girl that I have dated has enjoyed the fact that I kept my style, and did not try to conform to some idea of what a lesbian was supposed to look like. I hope that as the young lesbians come out that they stick to who they are, and not try to become someone else. LOVE finds you no matter what you are wearing.
dora24rose 2 years ago 34
@dora24rose It's the opposite for myself; I felt like I was not being myself by having long, long hair and wearing "sexy" club clothes to a bar, wearing more makeup...It just felt WRONG to me. I cut my hair-it's still shoulder length but I cut off a good six inches. I'm not trying to look like a lesbian, I just feel more comfortable wearing a t-shirt and jeans with a hoodie with short-ER hair. It just happens to be how a lot of lesbians dress.
Imagirlk 1 year ago 4
wow. jess is hot!
carmenkaylynne 2 years ago 8
Every Wednesday night there is a karaoke night on at local pub (you sing,and you get a free shot) :) and its not a gay night.. because our town is not so big we dont get one really.. sooo many of our gay mates go every wednesday just to chill and meet new friends of friends it's an awsome way to get to know new people. Xxx Jeorgie. XX
JeorgieTheMonk 2 years ago
Jess, thank you! After watching your video I finally dragged myself to gay night at a club and I actually met some really nice people. It was kinda scary going alone but I'm so glad I did. So thank you! :o)
malins03 2 years ago
Coffee shops definatly. The coffee shop near my school is the hang out for the family. Super gay friendly, they even have a night for LGBT people once a month that everybody goes to.
marsh90 2 years ago
ahhh THE CHART, I LOVED The L Word! my FAvvvv
Mittimay 2 years ago
great vid Jess.. I'm a baby les.. lol guess because I didn't come fully out till what a year ago.. but anyways I got so comfortable with who I am that i do actually look the part now. Kinda weird for me, since I was always getting hit on my guys (yuck) sorry... but now it's nice to see the girls looking... ahh.. :D yea big smile on my face lol. TY again jess.. love your videos and all the B.Bunch vids
catwomanstn 2 years ago
Great video, Jess. We have a local T-Dance where people can get together but it's mostly men so the women have a little tougher time. Also, we have the Lik-a-Chic get togethers that go on.
PaintedRavensong 2 years ago
I saw Mary B on ESPN!
Nice video, Jess. =]
FearfulBravery 2 years ago
Hells yeah to the obsessive rainbow gear! A lipstick's gotta do what a lipstick's gotta do :)
simplylissie 2 years ago
It's really weird for me.. because where I live there are no communities and I already know all the girls in my town.. and I'm too shy to aproach one
I guess I'll just wait until I move somewhere else, I hope it's not too late in 2 more years
Nightmareater 2 years ago
ahhh man i feel you... that sucks. but you should definately get to know your sisters. cause they will more than likely introduce you into the community. dive in.
daniGurl89tf 2 years ago
i love how glasses look foggy all the time online lol ha ha what's the sound u make when u blow on a window lol
montoxic13 2 years ago
i really love all the topics of those past few weeks! great job
hugs
lavandaliscious 2 years ago
Your mom wears headgear....lol!
kellybellows1 2 years ago
I recently acquired a black wristband with a rainbow heart on it. It seems to be at least getting me noticed as a lesbian instead of getting looks that say "Gawd I hope she's gay..." xD
djxthexmonferno 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
this is awesome!!!!! i love dykes!!!! can i watch u guys munch carpet?
VryEz23 2 years ago
Love the vid! The most annoying thing to me is when a guy hits on me and I tell him im lesbian and he goes... thats so hott... and tries to get my number still? I need a rainbow around me lol
that1girl08tx 2 years ago
If the guy likes you and wants to spend time with you and asks for your number, I cant really see why thats annoying.
Its been established that there is no chance of a physical relationship. It would seem to me that, this would be the kind of person you could be friends with.
If you really didnt like him, you could have said, sorry I dont like you, or something like that.
Silveracity 2 years ago
That is barely ever the case with me. Most guys who hit on me go "oh Mami, but you haven't tried this d*(& yet." Seriously. I just feel so disrespected and I feel scummy. Since I'm so gracious of a woman and all, why am I treated this way? This isn't just about me, but all the other beautiful women that deal with this; gay or straight. It's so disgusting.
b1eed4me 2 years ago 4
i agree, alot of guys can be douche bags, especially toward gay women. if you give them the cold shoulder, its only because they deserve it. from what u've written so far, i can rell ur a nice person and nice ppl shouldnt feel this way ,so screw those douche bag dudes and focus on the ppl u like best :)
thepplpleaser 2 years ago
you have a great skin tone in this video
godzillasbigbrother 2 years ago
this is excellent and oh, so applicable.
LaReinaB 2 years ago
Rainbows don't work? D=
i was going to try it out next year.
nadine00002 2 years ago
yeah, i do hoopdance and preform at festivals and concerts and I haaaaate when guys hit on me and my girl is too shy to say anything lol :)
SamiJoMoe 2 years ago
I deffinately don't look my sexuality... I usually have a small rainbow keychain or something, and openly flirt with girls with more serious tones than with friends... does that make sense? ah well
UnknownDoomChild 2 years ago
sweeeeeet!!!!
jjbeejjuice 2 years ago
I hate being hit on by guys.. ughhh!
b1eed4me 2 years ago 2
Please, try not to be Hetrophobic. You may not see it that way, I know, but please just think about that for a minute.
Silveracity 2 years ago
lol no im not heterophobic, most of my friends are straight guys, i love hangin with my boys, its when the guys find it as a challenge to try and get me to turn :straight" because I havent met the right guy. They'll be like, oh you like girls? i can change that. Thats where it gets me. I have noooo problem with straight guys. or with anyone. its allllll goooood.
that1girl08tx 2 years ago
That ((oh you like girls? i can change that)) stuff is just something many guys feel they are required to say, I dont think they really believe it.
Silveracity 2 years ago 2
right right but it gets annoying especially when they really believe it.
that1girl08tx 2 years ago
I do try not to be heterophobic. I mean, I would want straight folks to treat me with the same respect I want from them. Certain things I can't help and is not my fault though. Like the fact that I'm not attracted to guys. I'm actually kind of squeamish. I don't hate men. Please don't get the wrong idea. I just can't see them in a romantic of sexual way. When guys know I'm gay and still try to hit on me I just feel disrespected.
b1eed4me 2 years ago
I have not met anyone online and never will myself, just my way of doing things.part of it is trust issues of course but if it works for others then more power for them
darthragnhild 2 years ago
I don't know, I met my first girlfriend on myspace, but since then, I have had some issues in just finding friends. I think it is just them seeing a picture and not even wanting to be friends because of looks. It is so weird to me, lol. Great for the Beaver Bunch. Have a good one.
Erin
erienspice 2 years ago
The Internet is full of varies social websites that can help connect with in the LGBT community plus there are those places out side the Web that can help in that as well. So is wearing anything that has the rainbow colors on necessary to get attention or just being yourself a better way to go then?
DAVETYIOP 2 years ago
welcome home mary b!
great advice jess : )
thisiskate12 2 years ago
Thanks Jess. this was a really helpful video! <3
xyzGanz 2 years ago
great vid jess
DangerousLiasons8291 2 years ago
IDK for some reason I never felt the need to "look" lesbian. Not that I have a problem with people who do, but frankly, I think I look beter on my girly-kind-of-prep style, and boy I love looking good.
Anyways the point of the comment was I've never looked "gay" and I've never had trouble meeting girls :s but then, that's just me, and I guess hanging out at places full of lesbians helps too xD
JanMaeg 2 years ago
"Not headgear, that's for braces"
"I had rainbow following me around"
Priceless.
Hahaha =]
ThePapiJunior 2 years ago 2
i really wish they had youth groups and meetings like that around where i live. that would things a lot easier. just to have someone to talk to that you could relate to.
bornadisaster911 2 years ago
me too...
0frankie0and0julius0 2 years ago
Around here wearing rainbow is fashion. people will wear rainbow to look colorful. so most people don't even know some people wear it to show off that you are gay.
anyway, I'm glad Mary b. is back in your arms. =]
PDDMSCILU 2 years ago 2
somehow, you give my hope Jess, because in my region, there are no places to go for gay people, no meeting points or youth centers for gay people etc. it's difficult to find gay people here.. i really don't know how to meet them. In like 3 weeks here is a party called "gaylicious" but i have no one to come with me.. this would be such a great chance for me! but i'm not going alone :x
- Jessie
LeChatNoir93 2 years ago
I wrote like a twelve message long comment but deleted it cause it was so horrible and despressing haha.
Basically, when you are gay, 17 and your parents aren't cool about it ESPECIALLY when you live in a Queensland city in Australia... Your life is going to suck until you more out of home.
That is all. :(
And the finding a girl thing. I remember when I was 14 and knew something was up with me, wishing desperately that I could meet some girl with short hair who was totally hot and gay. *sigh*
weskate93 2 years ago
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weskate93 2 years ago
i found that having a super mouthy best mate helps to get the word around, especially when the intro to meeting her new mates is 'this is rosie my best mate, she's gay.'
and i agree with gijohazelwoods, some girly pics wouldn't go a miss (:
DeathcabforRosiee 2 years ago
I got the same glasses than you Jess. i thought it might help! ha ha... Actually I didn't realise until I watched one of you vlog again. And I was like wow... I'm actually inspired by the BB when it comes to fashion. And I wear bandanas now. I still look straight though. Oh well... I guess being recognised as gay is more about the attitude than about the looks.
Amandinedinedine 2 years ago
ahahaha... I love how you mentioned The Chart :D
streamlinedata 2 years ago
hey Jess
I watch all of the BB vids and I adore you guys.
But I do think it would have been appropriate if you would have at least mentioned the hate crime that happened this Saturday in Tel-aviv, Israel.
you mentioned going out to youth gatherings and i couldn't ignore the subject because the shooting happened in a local LGBT youth gathering.
many injured and 2 dead (one of them was a 16 year old girl).
The shooter escaped and has yet been found.
clockworkcrimson 2 years ago 2
I know you have talked about hate crimes in the past.
But it would have been nice if you would have mentioned them.
Tel-aviv is known as a pluralist open minded city with a huge gay community.
people who watch the news may think it isn't surprising because it is Israel after all..
But it has been a shocking and horrible experience to the community and the whole country.
In memory of Nir Katz (26) and Liz Tarboushi (16).
clockworkcrimson 2 years ago
it is horrible what happened, scary and just really shocking!!
and i agree we need to talk about it...
i am wondering wat will happen now...i know that am scared (more then i was before)
Nir and Lir we will remember you forever.
hellojello78 2 years ago
WOW just earlier this week i posted a vlog about this exact subject. how fun that i was able to watch this and gain some insight. <3
arysunbrookover 2 years ago
How badly do we wanna see photos of Jess looking all straight and girly? That'd be fun haha :)
gijohazelwoods 2 years ago 17
that sounds like a DARE for Jess!!
aqstoy 2 years ago 2
yes we do.
=)
n3eners 2 years ago
haha i could pull something up... keep an eye out.
cautiousplay 2 years ago
I believe there is a crossing of a line to be being too gay, i believe...
k9kracker 2 years ago 2
Hmm. Yeah, I'm not too sure about the whole "looking" gay thing. I suppose to look gay is to wear rainbow gear? I don't know...but what I DO know is...I can smell a lesbian from a mile away--whether they "look" gay or not. Sixth sense? Eh. Call it a gift. Haha.
myxidlexrose 2 years ago
why are lesbians always so shaddy. i am one and its like i can not trust girls they ALWAYS back stab.
keneditaylor 2 years ago
:( aww
adrenalinejunkieMMM 2 years ago
i love your vids! you inspire me so much always! im 16 and u have been of great help to me thank you really. specially under all these circumstances that im in...THANK YOU.
tegansararock007 2 years ago
By the way...thank you Jess for continuing to make videos. I don't know you personally but it makes me feel good to know that you ladies are out there.
speedy837 2 years ago
lol yea a class would be awesome
crazymariamlr 2 years ago
I got tired of trying to find gay lady friends, started my own group on campus and found TONS of great friends. Ladies if you can't find them make them come to you!! I'd also recommend volunteering for anything and everything related to gay causes. P.S. -Every gay man knows at least one lesbian! Find a girl with the help of your bestest homo.
speedy837 2 years ago 4
Now that a bunch of straight girls are adopting a more lesbian style, if that is a real category of style, I wonder if it causes a lot of unwanted advances from lesbians. Maybe the lesbian look will shift to a more femme look as straight girls become more butch, just generally obviously, as lesbians and straights can clearly wear whatever they like regardless of stereotypes.
bummercucumber 2 years ago
Hahahaha! I'm 25 and this summer was my first Pride and i was the only girl in a skirt and heals. The only way people knew i was gay was when i was holding my girlfriends hand.
DreyisSeastar 2 years ago
haha.....i live in a small town and there is like 1 coffee shop in my small town and there are like a lot of gay gyes.......there so funny
sumiesz 2 years ago
What if there isn't a gay community where you live?
AmandaJuicebox 2 years ago
Where do you live??
Virgostr5 2 years ago
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
AmandaJuicebox 2 years ago
good advice jess
thebrikid 2 years ago
i dont look gay i dont think :/
and it sucks
crazymariamlr 2 years ago
lol i know exactly what you mean. i was just telling my friend that i hoped she would take a class with me so we could talk about me being gay in class and make it a little easier to tell for "potential suitors" to be able to tell
dude225 2 years ago
Right back at you Jess! Although I obviously don't know any of the Beavs very well, I definitely love what you all have chosen to share about yourselves, and how you're all dedicated to being there for your viewers. You're all clearly good peeps, as I'm sure you know.
All the best to yuhz!
questioninghearts 2 years ago
So what do we do when we r very shy and quiet and not to out going?! ohh yeah and the bigger problem... im not butch or femme! every1 gets confused with me! HELP
katyanngarcia 2 years ago
You don't have to fall into either butch or femme. Just be who you are. If you'd feel more comfortable with a label, maybe you should consider "androgenous". I heard that in classical greece androgenous people were considered the most attractive!
Also, perhaps this will help with the shyness: sometimes people fall into the habit of looking for the differences between themselves and others, but it's so much nicer to look for common ground!
Hope that helps. =]
questioninghearts 2 years ago 2
What is with this "looking gay" thing? Not all gay people look gay. For instance, Michelle is femme and doesn't "look gay". People should be able to look and express themselves however they want to. They shouldn't look the same.
ohxmyxsirius 2 years ago 4
haha okay i will wear my headgear and retainer to let the ladies know.
peeclvjewel 2 years ago
lol, welcome to the wonderful world of *the chart* dun dun dun!
samgreene123 2 years ago
wow jess you are sooo amazingg! like u really inspire meee and i really appreciate that so thanks =] keep up ur great vids! cant wait for the next oneeee =D
TandSaremylife 2 years ago
I'm all for rainbow flags. However, if I left the house looking like rainbow bright:) in my opinion that would be an attempt to stroke my ego that felt inferior to the heterosexual sitting next to me on the subway. I'm an equal regardless of who I share my bed with and I'm gay regardless of my reflection to the world.
xoxolife412 2 years ago
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Ha love the rainbow headgear idea. Nice vid. Jess
MadCoolHippy22 2 years ago
Ha love the rainbow headgear idea. Nice vid. Jess
MadCoolHippy22 2 years ago
Ha love the rainbow headgear idea. Nice vid. Jess
MadCoolHippy22 2 years ago
what is "looking gay" I like my really long hair and my closet of dresses and high heels that doesn't make me any less of a lesbian than the next girl. "looking straight" by acknowledging these stereotypes of what is gay, straight, etc. how is society ever going to move forward towards equality?
xoxolife412 2 years ago
exactly.
peeclvjewel 2 years ago 2
which is why i said things have changed over the past 10 years. looking gay over a decade ago isn't remotely close to identifying with the lgbt community these days. again, don't be gay first is what i was trying to stress because there shouldn't be such a thing.
cautiousplay 2 years ago 2
yeah, so I sounded half bitchy, which is really not what I intended. It's just frustrating when you read on here people who are still today regardless of the progression of the lgbt community and a greater degree of acceptance (getting there) from society afraid to be who they are internally and externally. I agree 100% not to be gay first. Last time I checked I don't shake someone's hand and say, hi I'm Lindsay and I'm gay..haha. Anyway, I honestly did think this was a great video.
xoxolife412 2 years ago
Awesome vid Jess. That was def. quite useful.
I look straight.ish. But not gay enough haha. I guess some ppl just had really really good 'gay-dars' lol.
Thanks for such a great response to the question. the coffee shop thing sounds like a rad thing to do. :D
jeuberoo 2 years ago
Thank you Jess, I know you get that a lot. I know. All 5 beav's dish out amazing advice, it never fails. This is a greaaaat topic, and it honeslty does help :D
I'm glad May B is back!!
minutemae 2 years ago
there is no problem with being late because of that. you did a good answer to the question
wwwesk87 2 years ago
I'm feelin the sweater vest
ateary 2 years ago 3
love the vid jess! :)
carliescafe 2 years ago
Yay!! You guys rock!! Ha ha!! Jess Said my name lol!! Thanx for picking my Questions!!
<3
Jonnie
Virgostr5 2 years ago
Comment removed
pshhhh12345 2 years ago
this week is for me.
sonjunkie 2 years ago
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Awesome... love the video...
k9kracker 2 years ago
I wish I had such a convenient coffee shop. :(
cillyria 2 years ago 4
so do i. :(
too bad borders isn't like that where im at :P
upsidedownfrontwards 2 years ago
I look SOOO straight! agh! hehehe
love your videos!
OnlyGirlsLikeMe 2 years ago 2
you're right the accessories don't work, because in my case ,only straight people seem to notice them. *sigh*
SuperDuperTracy 2 years ago 7
Love your vids, just made my week!!!!!
rockette27 2 years ago 2
Or...not first.
whatzername922007 2 years ago
First! I love you.
whatzername922007 2 years ago