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From: sxephil
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  • I don't have any interesting childhood stories, but my earliest memory was eating a cake shaped like a teddy bear that my mom made :)

  • hmm... well i remember when i was in russia, my biological dad told my mom to go make money by fucking guys, while she was pregnant. and i remember how my bio. dad told my mom that i wasn't his and called her a whore. annnddd i remember that on those rare occasions when my bio. dad visited from "work" i was crying and begging him not to go, he replied that he had a "computer" waiting for him- which later found out to be fucking prostitutes and watching porn. the last memory that i have of him i

  • Once when I had the flu I went to snuggle with my mom in her bed. Little did I know that I had made her sick and she was irritated and pissed so she started yelling at me and threw one of those tiny crockpots that hold potpourri and melted candles at me, barely missed my head but did leave a nice dent in the wall. Sometimes bad memories just stay in your head, I have no way to justify what she did though, I was only 9.

  • QOTD: One day I was helping my dad unload stuff from the car and he starts to sing the "tits and ass" song from A Chorus Line.

  • Sorry I meant right hand I can't move my bad :(

  • Well when I was in junior high a kid brought a gun to school and shot me in the shoulder and now I can no longer move my left arm

    Ps. I'm typing w/ my left hand

  • I was the shortest one in my class until middle school... then I was one of the tallest, had an afro and really bad acne. Nobody recognized me at first... those bitches.

  • QOTD A TRAMPOLINE FELL ON MY HEAD!!!!!!!!

  • I remember sneaking out of my bedroom at night and throwing myself down the stairs alot.

    ...For fun.

    Jump, tuck, roll is still engrained in my memory.

  • Ahh, damaging childhood memories. I have completly blocked out my childhood aparently .

  • The only thing i remember is my cousin throwing a rock at me and chipping my tooth. Oh and i was terrified of my fifth grade teacher

  • Two stories: One, when I was 5 and just started school, my mother would hide in the closet and when my brother and I got home and couldn't find her we'd freak out. She'd jump out of the closet and pretend to be an alien... Until one of us would cry... Then she'd laugh. Two, my little sister used to chase me around with a butcher knife when she was 6 and I was 12. Our parents never believed me until they found a giant gash in my bedroom door after I locked myself in and lil sis stabbed the door.

  • funny vid!! :D

  • i think i was 7 when this happened but me, my sis, and my mom were going to a resturant. we have a gate that could really swing once opened so my mom was careless enough to assume i wasnt behind her when she swung the gate back. it smacked the living shit outta me and i had to go to the hospital to get 5 stiches.

    thanks mom thanks a bunch =D

  • BATMAN CAKE :D I got one for my 18 years old birthday last march 2nd :D

  • I remember my big brother was a rly good shot w/ an airsoft gun and wanted a moving target, so he dressed me in an assortment of gear and made me run around so he could shoot me. Good times.

  • when my mum was pregnent with me she was told to have me aborted because i have a cleft lip witch was a little harsh....

  • well my funny memory was when i thought we had stair case railings and i always forgot then i like "Pretended" idk but id fall of the top stairs to the bottom stairs

  • when i was little my my mom and my dad were hiking sorta by a cliff with a fence i think but anyway my mom got stuck in the mud so my dad was going to get her and tied me to a tree and i said while tied to tree: "don't worry mom help is on the way!" and i couldn't move.

  • i dont have any funny childhood memories because i was abused by my father and lived in a wide awake nightmare for 16 years

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  • QOTD: When I was like 5, I was pretending to make soup in a crock pot thing. I don't really know why, but the 'soup' wasn't food, but my brothers pokemon cards, action figures, and hot wheels cars. Apparently the pot was on high and it sat there for 3 days before someone noticed and left a giant burn mark in the kitchen floor. But hey, I manage to make the soup, even if it was melted plastic.

  • when i was little i got hit by a car. This car was attempting to make a 3 point turn and they backed up too far. By too far i mean into my yard and hit me.

  • when i was 3 or 4 i set my couch on fire cause i found a box of matches!

    stupid arse i was, i hid behind the couch that was on fire and my mum had to pull me out! i never had any burns or anything .. all my mum said was i was a bad girl HAHA!

  • QOTD: my friend stole my bike and i went to his house to get it and his mom answered the door i asked for my bike she threw it at me then my friend comes out 10min later and helps me up then throws a pen at me... wait does childhood include yesterday?

  • the doctors thought i was gonna be deaf because i had white streak in my hair. still have it but, i'm not deaf.

  • Every day I was asked how was pre school? And I would say that it was the worstest day ever and my parents would ask why and one day I said it was because my little sister peed on my foot

  • holy crap that bicycle part made me laugh so hard

  • once when i was little my dad was whipping me with a belt, it slid and hit me in the dick.

  • I got ran over on a water slide when I was 10. =D

  • hehehe *sigh* mistake children they're so cute, even tho u didn't want them

  • mistake?

    holy shit... we almost didn't have a Philip DeFranco!

  • if your a mistake, im fuckin glad

  • Philip DeFranco: Youtube's Favorite Mistake

  • Well put ( ;

  • my father said the same thing to me. witch i found funny

  • Bicycle throwing isn't that bad. My friend was out late once and his mom chased him into their house with her car.

  • bitches be crazy

  • okay i just have to say, i love phil. he makes me laugh and i ALWAYSSS feel better after i watch his videos=]]

    I LOVE YOU PHILL!!!

    okay and sidenote, my grandma broke a wooden spoon over my uncles head. we all think that's why he's crazy=]] she's done lots of other crazy shit but it's like child abuse so ima stop=]]

  • oh yeah, and me and my sister were both accidents. isn't that awesome??

  • Once, when I was like six, I a bunch of hair off of my head, and taped it to the wall. When my parents/siblings asked me why, I replied with, "Just for emergencies."

  • i never knew u was in widescreen now ima go crazy

  • im kinda a mistake i gess. my mum wanted a girl. ah, and then i came along and disappointed her. hehe. gr8 shows, phil

  • we have alot in common....1 reason y is that i was/is a "wanted" mistake....xD

  • I had a surgery when I was 4 wasn't supposed to be taller than I am now, but now I'm 6 foot 6, FUCK YOU SCIENCE!

  • i ate a deoderant stick when i was 5

  • I was an accident too!

  • ahahahahahahaha the end of the video

    its fcking hillarious

  • Jesus thats disturbing, my sister was meant to be a midget and when my dad found out he punched the doctor in the face!

  • When I was little I didnt know the concept of 'stop' so my parents trained me to sit. I remember being like 3 and going through Home Depot with my dad and a couple of his aunts from Spain and I wandered off and dad yelled 'sit' and I sat obediently.

  • hahah i choked on my food! (cuz of the laughter)

    well this one time when i was 11 me n my cousins n some friends broke into an empty villa. it was really cool cuase we had to climb really high fences n this thing where if we fell we would die n we almost got caught by the neighbor... oh n also when we were leaving so we wont get caught we had to climb the gate n i was in a hurry so i fell n sprained my foot n i didnt tell anyone till i couldnt take the pain... which was around 5 minutes.

  • My mom would get mad at me and my sister, so she'd chase us up the bunkbed with a wooden spoon, and then decided to throw wooden shoes at us :S

    Good times...

  • next time she chases u with a wooden spoon, hold up a tub of ice cream and inform her politely that yes, you would very much like a scoop or two.

    tbh, ive had scarier memories, but yea, theyre funny now

  • lol!! phil you are hilariously funny!!!!!.... and bad memories are a bitch!! :D

  • or you know you could fuck off and die?

  • OMG. Our birthday's are 6 days apart.

  • OMG

  • Lawl

  • i climbed up on the roof of my house when i wasnt alowed to. so my brother took the ladder away so i'd have to stay up there untill my parents got home so i'd get into trouble.

    well i decided to show him what's what. i jumped off the roof.

    and broke my leg....

    so my parents still found out but they were more leniet because i was in a cast :P. i know. not very smart:P

    p.s. also born december 1st :P

  • nols... you fail at life...

  • Best of Phily D!

  • aww

  • fakedude33 is a dumbfuck

  • Yay! you're a Sagittarius!

  • You're the same age as my cousin lol

  • I am still a child (13) and so far life has been.... normal.

  • i lol'd irl

  • i had a normal childhood. xept when i was 8 we found out i had a brain tumor.bumer.

  • my parents verbaly abuse me and put me down in front of everyone. it still happens im 13. they say im worthless becouse i dont do any sports(witch i have been doing a sport for 6 years and its fencing) they say im retarted and a fuck up and they allways yell at me. i think its becouse im not anything like me 2 sucsessful older brothers but how can i im only in the 8th grade and they are in colledge. but there hate inspired me to creat art in any form and now thats wat im known for is art.......

  • tell them to FUCK OFF

  • Oh God I love fencing. What do you use? Saber? Foil?

  • i use saber its the best

  • Nice. When I fenced I used an epee, but I didn't like it anywhere near as much as the saber and saber fencing. I don't fence anymore though, too expensive....

    Sad face =(

  • ugh i hate epee its way too heavy on the wrist for no reson but im 13 and im all ready destroying varsity teams and captains by myself not to brag but uhh IM BEAST :D

  • XD nice, dude. I was OK.... not the best fencer in the world but not the worst either.

    Why don't your parents acknowledge fencing as a sport? It takes strength, but grace. Swiftness, but strategy. Unlike most sports, you have to think a lot in fencing.

  • ur an idiot

  • Man up and do a real sport

  • Or just do what you enjoy. Yeh? Cool.

  • LOL....

  • Why is everyone is writing their childhood experiences. Lol

  • Because Dr. PhillyD told us to.

  • because phil told them to

  • Because it's the QOTD...........

  • my early childhood consisted of my parents sho fought relentlessly and both were coke abusing alchoholics..well im 15 so maybe my childhood isnt over yet, but my dad ended up going to prison when i was about 3 and he just got out in january, but when i was 3 i used to sit on my dads lap in his favorite chair and watch michael jackson and the bulls play basketball.good times i suppose

  • aspired to be something greater and am now working on a newly clothing line cannot say the name as of now because it is not trademarked yet. Any who My dad served 15 years of my life as a kid for them jewelry stores go figure armed robbery and drugs I was flabbergasted(Yes I watched your video on that word).I aspire though to be above that life and racism in this world is pathetic. Hopefully you didn't have anything in your life worse you couldn't remember well thank you for the time good vids.

  • theres so many messed up things out there...i'm glad you are above it

  • Sir maybe you should go on Dr.Phil or I'd be happy to prescribe something.

    Actually my life is very shitty as a kid I grew up poor going to food pantry's soup kitchens with my mom and carrying home food I had to resort to stealing my mom is mentally insane because her husband used to beat her physically and mentally and my dad seriously robbed 3 jewelry stores and a bank for 26,000 with my half sisters newly boyfriend. Twisted life right? As a kid I grew up around a lot of "Hood rats" and I

  • Tortured childhoods can make twisted adults. I know this.

  • this was good. you should make more vids about ur life stories or something

  • my dad used to pop up on me when i was little with a ton of creepy holloween masks when i was 3, especially a mr.met mask, that really creeped me out. im 12 years old and i hyperventalate/pass out/flip out when i'm near a halloween mask. it's a bad phobeia.

  • WTF?!?! YOU DONT LOOK 35???  WTF?!?!

  • horrible math dude. he is not 35

    Born in 85 he would be around 23-24

  • hmmm i should try a bike lol

  • First off, it was really cool getting to know you better (I'm watching all of your videos in order so yeah...old video, still good to get to know you).

    My parents tell me that when I was about 3 or so I was at a family friend's birthday party. This grown woman had a large pink cake on a table so I grabbed a chair, climbed up and slid my fingers across it. When asked why I did this, I said "I see, I want, I eat".

  • i remember fall into a big bunch of cactusis, a skate board hiting me in the eye on top of a ramp, then the doctor trying to glue the cut closed, but accedently glued my eye closed, i also remember listing to weezer and j 5 alot while i skatboarded, i have had a good child hood

  • When I was 8 I got my ankle stuck in a chain link fence with an angry dog at the other end. All the kids I contacted took about an hour or 2 to get some1 to help me out. While I was waiting I had some small talk with the dog about things that taste better then me.

  • Why has no1 commented after me?

  • sweet, i'm born on december 2nd!...... lol sry.....i find its a cool coincidence....LOL

  • its not even a coincidence cuz its not the same date smart one

    but as for me..........

    i'm december 1st biotches!!!!

  • i got a tooth stuck in my ear homaaay and i really puched it in there but i lied to the doctor saying i was watching tv threw it up tilted my head and it landed in. yes, i said that.

  • My dad thought it would be prudent to dangle me over a cliff in Wisconsin, to help me overcome my fear of heights. I don't have a problem with heights anymore, but I do have a crippling fear of cliffs.

  • When I was little I remember once falling down the stairs, and I basically rolled down the stairs . . . two painful flights of them. And then I once used my brother's hockey papers to clean up spilt milk and ended up getting put it time out for using the hockey papers . . . my dad is a bad parent.

  • when i was a baby ...

    I would only sleep in the car (weird i know) so my dad spent 4 HOURS trying to get me to sleep one day and then when we got home he DROPPED me. Yeah many have said when i told them "THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH"

    if you knew me you would agree.

    Another one was when i was 1 i fell down 1 step and broke my ankle and when i was getting the cast off the doctor cut through my skin with that saw thingy

    I have a history of accidents.... ;~)

  • I don't remember this but, apparently when we were two, my twin brother and I were kidnapped for a few hours. They found us with the dude in the mall parking lot. Close one.

    So for a while after that we had to wear leashes. I remember how embarrassing that was and I was only two!

  • I got my neck caught on a barbwire fence when I was five. My dad and uncle took me to the ER to get stitched up, but the nurse accidentally spilled the local anesthesia on the table. Then, "common sense" told them to put the stitches without any ansthesia at all. I got an icecream afterwards, so it was totally worth it.

  • Damn you common sense! You win again...

    Only the powers of the Ice Cream can save us!

  • The allmighty ice cream erases any pain in one's life. It's my religion. May I interest you in a pamphlet today?

  • im an accident too cause my dad didnt know my mom was mentally challenged

  • hahahha got hit by a bike hahahah shiting my pants at the moments hahahah

  • I was born 4 days after him :o it must be some sort of sign. haha

  • i was once taped to a wall by my brothers for a couple of hours =P

  • I was born 10.1 pounds and my mom almost died giving birth to me. And right now i'm 6'1/2 and weigh 214 pounds(i'm 13) No jokes

  • I accidently slid down a bowling alley and knocked down four pins when I was 4

  • heh, my dad left before i could understand the word mistake ^^"

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  • My sister was an accident o.O

  • I battled Cancer and won

  • i battled crabs and won, it was tasty, crazey japanese people made me kill it myself

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  • did jesus help you

  • My parents told me I was an accident when i was 5

  • when i was 1 i was in a baby walker and walked down the stairs and my face landed in cat litter, in that same year my sister locked me in a closet and my parents and other family members had to destroy the door to get in

  • i don't care.

  • My dad accidently gave me an entire glass of white wine when i was 1. Thats pretty much it but when my dad was fifteen he got runover by a pickup truck and broke 6 ribs.

  • weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    ok

  • Yah I love throwing bikes. Favorit passtime o'mine. but um when I was a small child about yeigh high (2ft 9in) I was playin inbetween the couch and wall only to get my head stuck.

  • My sister threw a bike at me too once =]

  • when i was 5, my sister decided to carry me with my face faceing the floor and she dropped me, and she is probably the cause of my TMJ ha

  • I was an accident too. lol.

  • dude high five!!! ahah

  • i think ur midget symbol was a tiny dick... haha jk... but not really

  • when i was young my sis hung me out of a 2 story window

  • i stepped on one of those soil-rakes like one of the three stooges, and it hit me in the face

  • sometimes accidents are good

  • once...when I was three...I got a block stuck on my middle finger. My mom freaked out, and told me to 'elevate' it, so the blood wouldn't make my finger swell more. I wound up flipping the ER off, and the hospital ganitor had to get the damn block off because the doctor couldn't.

    and then there was that time i found my mom's pot when I was six, but that's another story.....

  • Hmmm, this one time when I was 5 I stepped on a bee's nest and was swarmed, I ran to my back to my mother who proceeded to beat the bees of of me with a plastic golf club.

  • my ma threw shoes

  • It's like you throw one bike at someone and they automatically accuse you for assault. Pshhh... don't they know I've always wanted to be a firefighter?

  • i was rectally birthed

  • when i was 6 years old my sister hit me in the face with a metal shovel

  • When I was three or four years old, my mom and dad lost me in like Stockholm.. which was a big place for me, no more than three or four years old...

  • my brother and sister were mistakes, but supposedly i was planned???

    worst childhood memory - My mom back handed me at a public ice rink WHILE ON THE ICE and i remember falling and hitting my head on a wooden bench.

    why was there a wooden bench on an ice rink? i dunno.

  • I'm taller then you

  • i grew up with this totally cool story from when i was a kid, that i fell out of the window and broke my arm when i was 4. truth comes out when i'm 22 years old, that i actually fell off the roof!! it was a huge story my siblings made up to avoid the wrath of my mom!! an 18 year old lie. *smh*

  • I am 6 foot 1 or 2

  • damn a bike? i get a car

  • Ha, once my mom kicked me out of the house and she thought I would come back in but I ended up on my roof somehow, yeah.

  • worst childhood memory would be when my parents left me at an eighth grade dance and forgot to pick me up so i had to walk like five miles to get home and when i got home every thing was locked up and they weren't home so i had to wait an hour out in the cold until they came home from their dinner.

  • LOL lots of mistake coments (I was one 2)

  • I was a mistake...so are 90% of todays children.

  • cool, im the same height as Phil

  • and some childhood memories of mine are when u was about 4 my mom smashed my pinkie finger in a car door. she took me to the emergency room and it healed after a while. im gonna have 2 little wrinkles in my skin near my fingernail for the rest of my life.

    another is that when i was a few days old, my aunt was changing my diaper and i pissed in her face. LMAO, i was probably pissed and wanted to be left alone after being bothered and carried so much by doctors and family.

  • my dad's condom had a deflect it had a hole in... so that how i was born.

  • A deflect? A deflect. Hm.

  • shoulda sued the condom company

  • hey i was a mistake too *high five*

    when i was a kid my mom hit me in the head with a golf club. 'accidentally'. with the backstroke. i was like 5. i still have the scar on my eyebrow, look's kinda nice.

  • Last year I was teaching my mom a karate kick and when she was about to do it I ducked. Unfortunatly I got up to fast and got sidekicked right in my left ear. Now My ear still hurts and I lost some of my hearing. My mom said it was an aciident but I don't believe her.

  • My girlfriend's mom threw a coffee table at her once. The crazy things people throw at their children...

  • haha

  • lmao u're too cute!

  • segana tendo

  • I told the children in my class that Santa wasn't real when I was 5.

    Everybody cried and I got sent to the naughty corner!

  • 6'1 holy shit :)

  • well...... you said that you are a mistake. i have a funny story. i was 13 and knocked a girl up then she got a aportion then when i was 15 knocked her up again eeek ya. another abortion. I also have a scarred memory of walking in on my parents because i thought i heard a lot of screaming (probably moaning). and ya there was some eating out going on........ scarred......

  • ...I fell out of a second story window and chipped my backbone. I also fell off the monkey bars and broke my arm. I went into a 60 mph batting cage and got hit by a ball, thus breaking my thumb. A chair fell on my toe, which made my toenail fall off. I hit my hand on my friends head while tubing and broke it. I got my finger slammed in a locker. My life has been scarred with trips to the doctor.

  • holy shit man if all thats true thats pritty crazy

  • i stubbed my toe once.

  • i can top all that.. i got a painful ass paper cut the other day.... nothing is as painful as that ='[

  • dont feel bad,

    There is no such thing as a "Planned Pregnancy".

    That's just what people tell their neiighbors.

    Every child on earth is an accident.

    i'm an accident, you're an accident, mark (who lives in Frankfort, ky) is an accident EVERYONE who has ever lived, and will ever live, was the product of somthing their parents did'nt intend.

  • About that... My first born was planned, just came about 5yrs early. My second was planned, it only took 2wks to get prego after taking out the contraceptive. So, not everybody born was an accident. PS: Jesus lives!!!

  • i forget how old i was i was rocking on my rocking horse on thanksgiving and i flipped over and had to get stitches. another on is when i was to small to reach the top of my dresser i would climb up the draws to reach the top and one day it fell on me and my hand was stuck under there and i was screaming for m dad but he was in the garage so i was stuck there for a while... lol i am also born in the bronx and my dad is italian name my name is rizzo so you can basicly tell lol

  • i was shoved into the windows of underconstruction houses when i was young,...my parebts had an architecture obbsesssion

  • when i was a wee lass, i tried to sell dead flowers to ppl in front of my gramma's house. my gramma bought some, but they were her dead flowers. i tried to sell lemonade too, the mix was like 80% sugar and 10% water and a lemon. the mailman always bought it, but no one else. I used to ride on the back of my ATV with my brother driving, we once ran over our dog(she's fine) and once i was thrown off into a huge mudpuddle

  • funniest thing ive ever read