Me and my girlfriend are still in the closet. We've tried to come out, but our parents don't believe us. We love each other, but it's for the best that we keep it a secret for now. There's a chance our parents won't take it very well when it becomes obvious that this isn't a phase, and we still rely on them for the things we need.
another dating someone in the closet , is a total fool . my experience has been nothing but trouble, torment and disguist. closet gay men . have no respect for others. they are bitter and tortured. sad people . and they are the first to run down gay people . it doesnt make sense to me . yuk . i cant stand them . they make me sick .
its hard to deal with coming out if your still in the process of getting the money to move out and get thru college, theres a couple guys i know are open to that stuff but i wouldnt want to drag them down because i cant just tell my family, i guess its just because my family is so un accepting they say they would still love me but i dont believe them, they hint at being homophobic all the time
I was with a woman for four years and she never came out and she was 40 years old,I couldnt cope in the end as she still lived with her parents and they treated her like a child anyway so I hardly ever saw her,it would be weeks or sometimes months ( even 3 months one time) that I would see her and she only lived 25 miles away and had her own car.We couldnt really even have a private phone call.I ended up getting depressed due to the stress and put on medication.
times have really changed im 14 and came out to my friends (most of them accepted me) but there was still like 2 of them that had a problem with it but they got over it and now weve never been closer plus im dating my first boyfriend (he was the only guy i had feelings for when i was in middle school) and i freaking love him but he doesnt want to tell his friends hes bi and honestly i dont want anyone to know about me either since today was my first day at high school
I met my closeted boyfriend at a club... HOT, tall, macho, CUBAN... plus he was there with his Girl Friend. Awkward :( it took a month, but he eventually broke up with her and fell in love with me. But he still isnt out
@JerseyLette4Ever agreed exact same situation. ive been out to everybody except my parents for 6years and my girlfriend with being out only partly for 6 months... lots of fun!
i dated this guy and we were both kind of in the closet in the sense that we never talked about our sexuality at all and we never publicly displayed affection so we just let people assume we were friends. of course my friends figured out that he is, in fact, my boyfriend when they came over unannounced and he and his dog were at my place without his car.
thinking bout seeing a guy thats in the closet hes sweet funny smart gorgeous and he is a great cook and has my tastes in food,wine,music but i dont know if one im ready for a relationship because my last one was horrid and two if i could handle the frustration
I just started seeing a guy that is still in the closet. I'm not sure if I would be able to handle it. The guy is very nice, don't get me wrong, but I remember all the drama I went through coming out & I honestly don't have the strenght to go through that again.
Am I just a selfish person or is there other people who feels the same way?
I like how in this situation he said the situation like ten times more than The Situation says the situation while talking about the situation at hand and himself, The Situation.
Hi Sweetie, I just love you ! I have so much fun just watching your video ! I mean you are not scared to put yourself out there and I have to tell you a lot of people just don't do it !
I hope you will soon find that true love... I wish you the best in all you do ! 5 stars
Why don't aticulate americans broadcast on youtube. This guy could have made his point in 30 seconds, and then added some insight we all could benefit from. And then all the giggling. This guy, pretty much, said absolutely nothing that all of us don't already know. Titter, giggle, yack, guffaw, snort, grin, snicker, snarf, cackle!
This guy dosen't sound too smart, who wouldn't totally come out of the closet for John. If I had someone like John, I would be proud to tell the whole freaking world.
I just wanted to say, I dated a guy, we were both 16, we went out for FOUR YEARS, yes 4 years, when we got together, he had just broken up with his GF, 2 WEEKS prior, they were in a 3yr relationship... Okay, he was in the closet, this was 6 years ago, and he's STILL in the closet, imo, it's up to them, it doesn't matter, BUT to me, he wouldn't tell his friends, and to me it was as simple as, IF your friends hate you because you're gay, then they AREN'T your true friends!!!!!!!!!
@KidPunkStar101 Im in the exact situation.seeing him for 5 years now. Its frustrating cause he only comes to my house and we havent been seen together at all. He wont let me take his picture at all. Hes a great guy. I like him a lot.
My current Boyfriend(ish) was part of group of guy guys he was such a meat head, but i met him through a friend and he told me he liked me, it took him 6 months to come out which included him loosing his friends and being kicked out of his house for a week but nearly 2 years later we are together, he calls me his gay sensai lol!!
@CharmingXentric1991 I know its a bit after but we arent anymore im back on the market!!! i taught him too much and he turned into a cheat!!! thanks for your words though!!!
I fell for more than one closet case. It's a disaster and the closeted person will end up blaming and resenting the out person in the end even if the out person hasn't done anything to deserve the blame or resentment. I give them a chance because most gays were in the closet at one time but I'm not dating anymore closet guys at the moment.
it depends on what one's definition of closeted is...
I don't have to mention it in every other sentence and I think making out and groping in public is inappropriate for breeders too... I am masculine as well.
some people think not brining it up or whatever to everyone means one is closeted, if someone asks I will tell them but to me being gay isn't relevant enough to bring up... it is like talking about having blue eyes all the time... just pointless.
I think it's great that you keep an open mind about this. Some people wikll never come out of the closet unless they get a chance to date, talk, and then decide for themselves....I
m still in the closet to my work, and my outer family members, however I have recently just come out to my daughters and wife....and it all has worked out a s best as it could ....with no real Love lost. But if it wasn't for my B/f who accepted my closeted state in the first place, I may not have ever come out!!!!
ugh! going out with someone in the closet is the WORST... If this person is afraid of accepting and loving himself for who he is TRUST ME he is not ready for a relationship.
You can say you could help this person who is clearly struggling with himself but the TRUE is that you they are going to come out whenever they feel ready... and this may never come to some of these people who live in fear
I am closeted (partially) but my boyfriend completely understands that. He actually is my mentor and is helping me in the process. He has been into this situation and he said he did not want to rush me because he knows what I'm going through, especially coming from a very traditional background.
It shouldn't be any different for a 'not out of the closet' person to date someone who is because there are other examples of hetero relationships that parents might not approve of, which also apply to gay relationships. The parents could know, and support, but just happen to not like who their child chose. Just like interracial relationships. It's not very simple at all, and shouldn't focus on closeted and noncloseted gays for secret relationships.
My girlfriend is keeping her sexuality from her parents/family because they're strict Mormons, and she's afraid of being disowned. I'm completely ok with her decision. And yes, she will tell them eventually in time.
I thinkn hte question you have to ask yourself is: "Is this person who is a closeted gay is really worth ir?" I think most gays have the problem where they would date a closet guy to help them to come out. I have done this before and it is nothing but added stress on yourself. I mean it is okay to give them a little nudge every now and then but 6 or 7 months down the road in your relationship you start to get frustrated because they won't bend to your will. Sooooo my advice is to STAY AWAY!
PEOPLe dont usually like closet case, i remember when i tried it sometime, i kept been asked kinda been forced to come out i was like wtf and no . thats hard some people dont like to date closet cases.
Great question and great answers. Your sincerity and your openness must be part of the reason so many people like your videos. I am finding a lot of agreement with your answers, because they make so much sense. Always nice to see mis-takes, or mistakes at the end of vlogs.... makes the vlogger so much more human!
I'm glad to see you looking at it from the other person's perspective. It is very hard. I'm 17-years-old, and I'm still struggling with my sexuality. I always liked girls my whole life, but I recently found out I might be attracted to guys too O_o. It's not a romantic thing, I'm just a... Oh what's the word? A satyrist? I don't know, the male version of a sex nympho. It's really frustrating, and I don't know what to do about it... -_-
I've dated someone who was not out of the closet yet and it was very frustrating to me. Not because I couldn't tell anyone, but it was because I felt he wasn't confident enough in his sexuality for me to date him. It always kind of brought me down as well which wasn't healthy for either of us.
You ARE too good for that. I've dated closet cases before and it NEVER works out. I personally think that the best relationships are those were both people know who they are. If you want to have some fling, that another thing... otherwise exclusive relationships with people that haven't come out of the closet are always turbulent and end badly.
I have been gay all my life but didn't come out until I was 18. People saw "the gay" in me before I did.
I have dated guys who were in the closet and they would intro me to their parents as a friend. Wow! If the parents didn't catch on that their son had a flaming friend then they are really dumb.
I am what you call an outter. If you want your parents to know you are gay then bring someone like me around.
I'm way too old to be commenting on your vid's, but here's something to think about regarding this issue: what happens when a major event occurs in your life or your partner's life?? For example, if he ends up in a serious car accident how do you explain to his family why you are so extremely concerned. Or if one of your parents dies and because of his situation, he can't be there to support you. It's a trickier topic when you consider life changing events such as these....
Yeah i agree with you, Im 14 and gay and im out of the closet already ... i was 13.. yeah i know im way to young to date... i was in the closet and i dated another guy.. he was Bi so yeah .. we had to keep it a secret i didnt like it... in the end i didnt like how he acted and was so i broke up with him and i told the whole school i was gay after that... so i guess that reletionship which lasted only a couple of weeks helped me alot come out..
my bf is still pretty closeted. his whole family knows but he wont even sit with me when we do family stuff with them. but im patient and i love him. i know this is an old vid but keep up the great posts man!
You wear a lot of rings... Guys who broke your ass probably game you one as a "sorry for breaking your ass" consolation. Maybe the second ring they gave you was the "Your ass must hurt and you can't seem to stand up very well", here is a ring!! Stop posting your dumbass blogs on how to be gay
Oh My god! I've been there! -_- Not only was the guy not out of the closet, but he already had a girlfriend. His girlfriend was a bitch anyway, so I didn't really feel sorry for her. In fact I didn't really feel sorry for the guy either at the time, it actually hurts that the person you think you love is only willing to show affection when no one else is around, and then pretend like he's somebody he's not in front of everyone else. I know how you feel. 0_o
I really appreciate the fact that you (and apparently many of the other commenters) are willing to look at both sides of this issue before coming to a decision. I'm not out of the closet with my family, and considering my parents' views, I don't think I will be any time soon. However, if I met the right guy, that might change, since I would at least have someone that I loved to support me through the process.
heres the strange thing...i was dating someone who was out, and i was for the most part in the closet...only a few close friends knew. Well, he acted like he was more in the closet than i was....anyways.
That was a funny username, and I wondered while watching it if you got a kick out of it... thanks for adding that snippet at the end.
Hi um I've been watching your shows even though I mite be a bit young to coz I'm only 14 years old but anyway I have 2 questions and hopfully u will answer me so here goes. 1.would u think I'm too young to decide weather I'm gay or bi sexual yet? 2. My step dad always makes fun of gay people but my mum dusnt mind them and my step dads very a controling person and if he found out tht I was thinking about being gay he'd be furious so what do I do?
I was in this situation too and he kept saying "If you were a girl this would be easier." So i broke up with him, he was hot but really offensive towards gay so he wouldnt seem it, so i got him back after he went off on me about "How homosexuality is an abomination." So i simply said, "I'm breaking up with you." in front of all his friends, and it ruined him. I feel bad about it now and i wish i never had done it.
Well, I'm in the closet, and my BF is completely out. He is really understanding and he is not pushing me at all. Of course is not like im not secure about my sexuality, I mean, I'm 100% gay, and I like it, I just don't want my parents to know. Anyway, thigs are going very well. The funny thing here is that I used to think that I would never date someone out of the closet, because all of this problems, but I guess when love calls you have to answer.
I almost did this with a friend of mine but when I weighed the pros and cons of the situation i ended up telling her no. She was a mormon(or so she was raised as such, her mom was a major one). I wasn't into having to hide our relationship from her family and friends
That's nice to hear! I often avoid people when I think they are starting to get a crush on me because I'm not out to my parents, and I think it would be unfair to the other person.
Perhaps I won't be so quick to blow people off now.
I enjoy watching your videos. The perspective of other gay people is really interesting to me.
It is very difficult dating someone that is in the closet if you are out of the closet. I have been in that situation but because I loved the person I did what I had to do to keep out relationship going. Although now it was not worth it but then I thought it was.
definetly hard to deal with....I got a friend who he has only came out to 3 people and he will never be able to come out to alot because he is military. So there are some people who have no choice, and i bet if he finds the guy for him he would really be himself around them.
I totally agree with u Bmystyle.I depending on the guy and how well we get along i would date someone still in the closet.Some have it easier than others to come out and its a very touchy subject for some guys.but i would totally give them a chance:)
I totally agree with you. I'm hate outing people...I did it once by accident. If someone is gay but is in the closet then it's their choice when they come out or if they come out. P.S. love your laugh :)
i tried that once. didn't work out so well (but maybe cuz he was older???) i really tried to make it work, but keeping and arms length distance in the mall and hooking up in his car weren't doing it for me. i need to know i'm loved and if you can't do that in public than we cant be together. is that shallow? please tell me.
No I get what you're saying...if they can't show that they love you in public (not like sticking their tongue in your mouth or what ever all the time) then it's like they are ashamed of you...
The door out of the closet is not exactly a clearly defined space...I'm gay, everyone knows I'm gay but I don't allow anyone discuss it....because it's none of their business.....I don't discuss a straight person's straightness---unless I'm provoked !-- but coming out of the closet for me does not mean making it a public topic...nor do I ever issue Press Releases ! So yeah, I would date a guy in the closet, without any adverse judgments on him because of that. It's hard for some guys, goddamnit.
it is frustrating not being able to tell any1 not having an open relationship, not being able to seek comfort when something bad happens in a crowd or something of the like, many ppl date closeted mennot knowing they r closet, some cant stand, but the more considerate help them thru the transition, mb helping them come out to one person at a time letting them kno no matter wat they will be there for them, its hard to say whether to date or not to date it is ur question
john it sounds like your example was more that the guy was shady so I am glad that you are still open to dating other closetted guys. We all have to come out in our own time, I am not big on outing ppl. They need our support and love, they don't need their gay bros and sisters attacking them too. It's a bright place out there and some guys want to gets their eyes used to the light before they come out or to decide they are closer to the straight end of the scale.
Oh man, I think we all have horror stories of "When I dated that guy in the closet..." lol but I agree with you, yet again: It's vital for us to be more concerned with how we feel about the person than how they feel about their sexuality. Personally, I'm comfortable with mine but it's no one's business. I admit it but I don't brandish it in people's faces. I think, also, that it's very possible for us to help the person we care about come out if they need or want help. Great Vid & much <3
Do you feel comfortable asking if he is gay? Just because he is cute and too perfect does not mean he is straight. Just study how he interacts with you, and how he interacts with females. Does he show more attention to you or females? Does he flirt with you?
it is rele hard to date someone in the closet because even tho u kno the person is worth it but u dnt kno wat there limits are but if there not out its there choice u just have to be there to help and support then instead of rejecting then b/c of it
You're GREAT dude! You're the coolest guy ever! How come you figured most of the gay world in three years! I've been out and about for 7 years and still there are so many things I don't understand! Cheers mate! BTW, you're really sweet and cute!
that the only person you can talk to is yourself, cause you couldn't share it with anyone, even your gay friends, cause you had to keep the secret. When you have one too many of that episode, it will just eat you up from within. So forget the movies where the guy always ends up with his first high school or college sweetheart. Not everyone's significant other is the first one they seriously feel for in their life. Most of us will find it after several heartbreaks. But everyne eventually will ;)
fool yourself into thinking it will, god knows i did lots of that. So trying to find someone who is equally open about themselves (or at least intends to in near future). It will do both of you good, you always have someone to lean on and it is just good for your mental well being. to be emotionally closeted after coming out will have a toll on you, it will eat you up. of course back in those days I was just happy to spend whatever time I had with him but sometimes when problems arise, you find
he decided that he wanna go straight. I doubt that he is straight, maybe bi but definately not straight. And so he asked that we end this, it was pretty hard for me, considering i invested my heart in this but it obviously it will never payoff. Took me a long time but I did eventually got over him. So it is not like I totally don't think it will work but be careful. Promises that weren't followed through can really hurt. You can love someone unconditionally but if there is no future in it, don't
I am a new subscriber and I had to add my two cents worth on this video cause it is one of the things that I experienced personally and it was painful. I was in this relationship with a guy who was closeted to all but myself. We could only discuss everything in the privacy of either of our rooms. Basically the relationship doesn't exist outside the walls of our room. He promised everything but commitment. I stuck with it for years because I was so in love with him, but at the end of college year
I dated a girl who was still in the closet; I was pretty understanding about it. After a week, she got more comfortable and started telling some of her close friends. Unfortunately, word got out at school and everyone started giving her a hard time about it. Our relationship was pretty much over after that.
Dating people in the closet can be tough. But when they're ready to come out, and if you have enough patience, I can be really worth it in the end.
my first relationship, both me and my boyfriend started in the closet..and as time went on, I came out, and he remained in. It became difficult..all the hiding, lying, and like john where we could meet and when we could meet.
I dont think i could ever do it again...It was really difficult to come out of the closet, and I don't think I can go back again.
Thanks for looking at this from the other guy's perspective. I think the coming out process can be really helped if you have a partner who is further along with the process and is willing to offer you support.
yea i have dated someone in the closet as well and it was a tough experince trying to find time were we could hang out and stuff...i really liked this guy so i stuck with it and by the end of my senior year of high school we both came out to our parents and we had eachother for support for that...and the only reason were not seeing eachother anymore is because im stuck in wisconsin and he is at cornell university in NY so yea it was a good experience....love ya...cheers
I've also been there. I was out at 14, at 18 I dated a guy who wasn't. I think the hardest thing for me was we could only go out with a group, and usually it had to be a group of my friends, whom he was out to, But if we went anywhere it was always as a group, there was never any just us time. Except at my place, but I had two roommates at the time. I would do it again, I mean you can't help who you fall for. But I do think at 1st it would be harder than last time. I've been out 4 12 years now.
I agree. It is much more important to think on both sides of the equation especially when it comes to a relationship. I recently had someone who had taken interest in me and I found out that he was in the closet. I felt kind of relieved in a way cuz I had just recently came out this last Nov. So I know what its like to sort of hang on to ones sexuality, so to speak. Empathy and sensitivity are some qualities that I look for in a guy, and its nice to know some people possess them. Good vid
Totally get it! It can be so relieving to date another person who just came out or who is still in the closet. It can be intimidating to date a guy who is so secure with their sexuality at a time when you are still working on that yourself.
Not the best, not the worst...but honestly - I'm a cynic, I don't think they last very long...from experience. Like you mentioned, the lies and complications are just far too much.
i think if the connection is there than there is no wrong in dating a closeted gay guy, and if the relationship is strong and truely from the heart than it may just help the closeted person to come out.
your out take was very cute, when you announce the question at the beginning and said the user name I was like that their ID name--just shook my head--I can understand play on words of an user name but sometimes I just don't get why someone would want a user name like that--I guess each to their own
another fine vlog John thou don't forget we want some vlogs about your 4 months living in Canada
You look like Hugh Grant a bit - the best bits.
RayL1983 4 days ago
should only date someone like this if they are planning on coming out at some point
thomasjackson420 1 week ago
3:25- thats what i did when you read his name the first time.
shrillz 3 weeks ago
the sound effects are really stupid wtf and HOW DID I GET HERE!!! I'm not even a boy wtf
JohnnyLovelyMusicVid 3 weeks ago
you're prettyyyy <3
TanaCooker 1 month ago
Me and my girlfriend are still in the closet. We've tried to come out, but our parents don't believe us. We love each other, but it's for the best that we keep it a secret for now. There's a chance our parents won't take it very well when it becomes obvious that this isn't a phase, and we still rely on them for the things we need.
HiYouCanCallMeZ 1 month ago
another dating someone in the closet , is a total fool . my experience has been nothing but trouble, torment and disguist. closet gay men . have no respect for others. they are bitter and tortured. sad people . and they are the first to run down gay people . it doesnt make sense to me . yuk . i cant stand them . they make me sick .
planes100 4 months ago
I KNEW YOU COULDN'T SAY THAT NAME WITHOUT LAUGHING AT LEAST ONCE!!! >:D MWAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!
sheaofleaves124 4 months ago
its hard to deal with coming out if your still in the process of getting the money to move out and get thru college, theres a couple guys i know are open to that stuff but i wouldnt want to drag them down because i cant just tell my family, i guess its just because my family is so un accepting they say they would still love me but i dont believe them, they hint at being homophobic all the time
XsenHellion 4 months ago
I would never do it, because it makes me feel like I'm going back in the closet. And it's a little tempting because I always get those
"I want you" looks from "straight" guys who are looking for a little DL action.
twinkie13st 4 months ago
I was with a woman for four years and she never came out and she was 40 years old,I couldnt cope in the end as she still lived with her parents and they treated her like a child anyway so I hardly ever saw her,it would be weeks or sometimes months ( even 3 months one time) that I would see her and she only lived 25 miles away and had her own car.We couldnt really even have a private phone call.I ended up getting depressed due to the stress and put on medication.
RainbowLove74 4 months ago
times have really changed im 14 and came out to my friends (most of them accepted me) but there was still like 2 of them that had a problem with it but they got over it and now weve never been closer plus im dating my first boyfriend (he was the only guy i had feelings for when i was in middle school) and i freaking love him but he doesnt want to tell his friends hes bi and honestly i dont want anyone to know about me either since today was my first day at high school
CUDIandGAGA 5 months ago
@CUDIandGAGA keep it secret. Its ok to do that.
TheKerryzzz 1 month ago
@deathbyscissorz! Same here i wish i could meet him too
BelungtungXD 5 months ago
haha you're so funny ^^ you seem such a cool and amazing person... I wish I could meet you >_>
DeathByScissorz 7 months ago
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045454kgg 7 months ago
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FalseProphet501 7 months ago
I met my closeted boyfriend at a club... HOT, tall, macho, CUBAN... plus he was there with his Girl Friend. Awkward :( it took a month, but he eventually broke up with her and fell in love with me. But he still isnt out
RodTalon0000 7 months ago
My girlfriend is still in the closet, I love her dearly and I will stick with her no matter what but it gets hard sometimes
JerseyLette4Ever 7 months ago 10
@JerseyLette4Ever agreed exact same situation. ive been out to everybody except my parents for 6years and my girlfriend with being out only partly for 6 months... lots of fun!
CrystalMoonShadow 4 months ago
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uoviabio 8 months ago
Just putting it out there but you are so hot.
dang3rousgoldfish 8 months ago 2
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Ur awesome. Im certain that u help lots of people...so ill just say thank you.
200kevn 8 months ago
ur awesome. Im certain that u help lots of people...so ill just say thank you.
200kevn 8 months ago
sum1 looks very hot :D
chrisbartley88 8 months ago
Oh! I miss your videos :) You're so cute!
sweetdeathofi 8 months ago
Man, this is my situation to a T! I'm really glad I found this video and I'm really glad you made it!
Bradley8787 8 months ago
i dated this guy and we were both kind of in the closet in the sense that we never talked about our sexuality at all and we never publicly displayed affection so we just let people assume we were friends. of course my friends figured out that he is, in fact, my boyfriend when they came over unannounced and he and his dog were at my place without his car.
oxysean 9 months ago
thinking bout seeing a guy thats in the closet hes sweet funny smart gorgeous and he is a great cook and has my tastes in food,wine,music but i dont know if one im ready for a relationship because my last one was horrid and two if i could handle the frustration
Wycryss 9 months ago
been there, done that, i wudnt wanna do it again... it hurts just so bad...
imlardis007 9 months ago
I just started seeing a guy that is still in the closet. I'm not sure if I would be able to handle it. The guy is very nice, don't get me wrong, but I remember all the drama I went through coming out & I honestly don't have the strenght to go through that again.
Am I just a selfish person or is there other people who feels the same way?
marcelventer 9 months ago
I like how in this situation he said the situation like ten times more than The Situation says the situation while talking about the situation at hand and himself, The Situation.
lbsweet10 9 months ago
That reaction made me laugh so hard, I love it. Big fan of your videos <3
Todaydawg21 9 months ago
Hi Sweetie, I just love you ! I have so much fun just watching your video ! I mean you are not scared to put yourself out there and I have to tell you a lot of people just don't do it !
I hope you will soon find that true love... I wish you the best in all you do ! 5 stars
myspacecyber 10 months ago
Why don't aticulate americans broadcast on youtube. This guy could have made his point in 30 seconds, and then added some insight we all could benefit from. And then all the giggling. This guy, pretty much, said absolutely nothing that all of us don't already know. Titter, giggle, yack, guffaw, snort, grin, snicker, snarf, cackle!
avengerspeel 10 months ago
been there done that too!
bluberricodi 10 months ago
This guy dosen't sound too smart, who wouldn't totally come out of the closet for John. If I had someone like John, I would be proud to tell the whole freaking world.
LostintheDeep 11 months ago
I just wanted to say, I dated a guy, we were both 16, we went out for FOUR YEARS, yes 4 years, when we got together, he had just broken up with his GF, 2 WEEKS prior, they were in a 3yr relationship... Okay, he was in the closet, this was 6 years ago, and he's STILL in the closet, imo, it's up to them, it doesn't matter, BUT to me, he wouldn't tell his friends, and to me it was as simple as, IF your friends hate you because you're gay, then they AREN'T your true friends!!!!!!!!!
KidPunkStar101 11 months ago
@KidPunkStar101 Im in the exact situation.seeing him for 5 years now. Its frustrating cause he only comes to my house and we havent been seen together at all. He wont let me take his picture at all. Hes a great guy. I like him a lot.
TheKerryzzz 1 month ago
Ho get add this not my family and my friend to date someone no body know I am meet someone not know who him is and more above my safe.
jason19852349 11 months ago
This is hard for me b c my safe with guy I do not know him on web like meet me some not far for my homes.
jason19852349 11 months ago
My current Boyfriend(ish) was part of group of guy guys he was such a meat head, but i met him through a friend and he told me he liked me, it took him 6 months to come out which included him loosing his friends and being kicked out of his house for a week but nearly 2 years later we are together, he calls me his gay sensai lol!!
Samuallo1 11 months ago 49
@Samuallo1 That's so cute! *w*
TheOtherNothing 11 months ago
@Samuallo1 What happened to your boyfriend really sucks, but I'm happy to hear that both of you are still together :)
CharmingXentric1991 5 months ago
@CharmingXentric1991 I know its a bit after but we arent anymore im back on the market!!! i taught him too much and he turned into a cheat!!! thanks for your words though!!!
Samuallo1 4 months ago
@Samuallo1 i want this to happen with me sooooooo bad! haha
Tobichan 1 week ago
I have been there and it was the worst!!!
albaisthebest 1 year ago
I fell for more than one closet case. It's a disaster and the closeted person will end up blaming and resenting the out person in the end even if the out person hasn't done anything to deserve the blame or resentment. I give them a chance because most gays were in the closet at one time but I'm not dating anymore closet guys at the moment.
johnrcrews 1 year ago
your laugh is so adorable.
austinwhite143 1 year ago
it depends on what one's definition of closeted is...
I don't have to mention it in every other sentence and I think making out and groping in public is inappropriate for breeders too... I am masculine as well.
some people think not brining it up or whatever to everyone means one is closeted, if someone asks I will tell them but to me being gay isn't relevant enough to bring up... it is like talking about having blue eyes all the time... just pointless.
9436oelable 1 year ago
If I connect with the guy, I don't care if he's closeted.
freakylocz14 1 year ago
WHY ARE YOU GAAAYY NOOOO! you are so cute deam.. thats a lost for girls :S
majolerulerulista 1 year ago
I think it's great that you keep an open mind about this. Some people wikll never come out of the closet unless they get a chance to date, talk, and then decide for themselves....I
m still in the closet to my work, and my outer family members, however I have recently just come out to my daughters and wife....and it all has worked out a s best as it could ....with no real Love lost. But if it wasn't for my B/f who accepted my closeted state in the first place, I may not have ever come out!!!!
hotrodbod1 1 year ago
ugh! going out with someone in the closet is the WORST... If this person is afraid of accepting and loving himself for who he is TRUST ME he is not ready for a relationship.
You can say you could help this person who is clearly struggling with himself but the TRUE is that you they are going to come out whenever they feel ready... and this may never come to some of these people who live in fear
fantasy89boi 1 year ago
I am closeted (partially) but my boyfriend completely understands that. He actually is my mentor and is helping me in the process. He has been into this situation and he said he did not want to rush me because he knows what I'm going through, especially coming from a very traditional background.
2299carlitos 1 year ago
well i'm closeted and I'm dating a guy who is also closeted. we understand each other.
phantomsuccour 1 year ago
@mrchlorodude hey e-mail me if you see this again kevvangord@yahoo.com id really like to talk
MegaKevy123 1 year ago
It shouldn't be any different for a 'not out of the closet' person to date someone who is because there are other examples of hetero relationships that parents might not approve of, which also apply to gay relationships. The parents could know, and support, but just happen to not like who their child chose. Just like interracial relationships. It's not very simple at all, and shouldn't focus on closeted and noncloseted gays for secret relationships.
thorstevie91 1 year ago
My girlfriend is keeping her sexuality from her parents/family because they're strict Mormons, and she's afraid of being disowned. I'm completely ok with her decision. And yes, she will tell them eventually in time.
SakeMePocky 1 year ago
Dating Someone In The Closet well drag them out .. get drunk and call there mom and tell them thats the way to go .. lol
Treblinka2012 1 year ago
I thinkn hte question you have to ask yourself is: "Is this person who is a closeted gay is really worth ir?" I think most gays have the problem where they would date a closet guy to help them to come out. I have done this before and it is nothing but added stress on yourself. I mean it is okay to give them a little nudge every now and then but 6 or 7 months down the road in your relationship you start to get frustrated because they won't bend to your will. Sooooo my advice is to STAY AWAY!
SoraKeyBlade 1 year ago
PEOPLe dont usually like closet case, i remember when i tried it sometime, i kept been asked kinda been forced to come out i was like wtf and no . thats hard some people dont like to date closet cases.
capufo 1 year ago
Great question and great answers. Your sincerity and your openness must be part of the reason so many people like your videos. I am finding a lot of agreement with your answers, because they make so much sense. Always nice to see mis-takes, or mistakes at the end of vlogs.... makes the vlogger so much more human!
awreslr2 1 year ago
I'm glad to see you looking at it from the other person's perspective. It is very hard. I'm 17-years-old, and I'm still struggling with my sexuality. I always liked girls my whole life, but I recently found out I might be attracted to guys too O_o. It's not a romantic thing, I'm just a... Oh what's the word? A satyrist? I don't know, the male version of a sex nympho. It's really frustrating, and I don't know what to do about it... -_-
MrChlorodude 1 year ago
you are hot
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Why do you have weird pauses in your video?
winstonlin143 1 year ago
I've dated someone who was not out of the closet yet and it was very frustrating to me. Not because I couldn't tell anyone, but it was because I felt he wasn't confident enough in his sexuality for me to date him. It always kind of brought me down as well which wasn't healthy for either of us.
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uorsagintana 1 year ago
Oh deng you talk straight
chefseb29 1 year ago
U r hot!¡!
Rafael121992 1 year ago
loool i was thinking, How the hell can this guy say that username with such a straight face? and then at the end i was like, I knew he couldn't! Ha!
AfterDarkSpecials 1 year ago
Your a very fare person
wonabemrblubberman 1 year ago
It's a pain-in-the-ass AND an honor.
It's like EVERYTHING has been heightened to some EXTREME level of importance bordering on HEAVEN and HELL...LIFE or DEATH.
Why do people even TRY something that is so potentially CATASTROPHIC?
They should wait a little longer until they get a slightly better attitude.
forrykid 1 year ago
You ARE too good for that. I've dated closet cases before and it NEVER works out. I personally think that the best relationships are those were both people know who they are. If you want to have some fling, that another thing... otherwise exclusive relationships with people that haven't come out of the closet are always turbulent and end badly.
buxomdesign 1 year ago
i am in this situation, and its great answer to the question and like you i agree
greenvalentine86 1 year ago
I have been gay all my life but didn't come out until I was 18. People saw "the gay" in me before I did.
I have dated guys who were in the closet and they would intro me to their parents as a friend. Wow! If the parents didn't catch on that their son had a flaming friend then they are really dumb.
I am what you call an outter. If you want your parents to know you are gay then bring someone like me around.
db1burns01 1 year ago
You do realise you're adorable, right?
Gruntzen 1 year ago
Hi do you belive in outing people in closet and what are your views on this regards mark .
mark1qt 1 year ago
ohh if he was hidding our relationship i wouldn't go out with him in the first place. lolz.
thenewkeg10609 1 year ago
Thank so much for this vlog
It really help me figure out something
Washing85 1 year ago
Thank so much for this vlog
It really help me figure out somethign
Washing85 1 year ago
I'm way too old to be commenting on your vid's, but here's something to think about regarding this issue: what happens when a major event occurs in your life or your partner's life?? For example, if he ends up in a serious car accident how do you explain to his family why you are so extremely concerned. Or if one of your parents dies and because of his situation, he can't be there to support you. It's a trickier topic when you consider life changing events such as these....
fourfoot73 1 year ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
faggot
jackbtlr 1 year ago
@jackbtlr
And there is nothing wrong with that :)
thrill124 1 year ago
@thrill124 indeed!
LyraDragon 1 year ago
Yeah i agree with you, Im 14 and gay and im out of the closet already ... i was 13.. yeah i know im way to young to date... i was in the closet and i dated another guy.. he was Bi so yeah .. we had to keep it a secret i didnt like it... in the end i didnt like how he acted and was so i broke up with him and i told the whole school i was gay after that... so i guess that reletionship which lasted only a couple of weeks helped me alot come out..
jessemar69 1 year ago
happy birthday
Thisheresmyname 1 year ago
my bf is still pretty closeted. his whole family knows but he wont even sit with me when we do family stuff with them. but im patient and i love him. i know this is an old vid but keep up the great posts man!
omega311888 1 year ago
You wear a lot of rings... Guys who broke your ass probably game you one as a "sorry for breaking your ass" consolation. Maybe the second ring they gave you was the "Your ass must hurt and you can't seem to stand up very well", here is a ring!! Stop posting your dumbass blogs on how to be gay
flowdis1983 1 year ago
@flowdis1983
Oh wow! You're so awesome! Does it bother you that bad?
StevenJKpower 1 year ago
Oh My god! I've been there! -_- Not only was the guy not out of the closet, but he already had a girlfriend. His girlfriend was a bitch anyway, so I didn't really feel sorry for her. In fact I didn't really feel sorry for the guy either at the time, it actually hurts that the person you think you love is only willing to show affection when no one else is around, and then pretend like he's somebody he's not in front of everyone else. I know how you feel. 0_o
StevenJKpower 1 year ago
@StevenJKpower
But then again, his parents were really strict and his friends were homophobic. So I should have already saw it coming.
StevenJKpower 1 year ago
he wasn't the most 'legitimate' person???? what the fuck does that mean? you are illiterate, and this is not a homophobic comment, you just are!!!!
amatorynumber 1 year ago
I really appreciate the fact that you (and apparently many of the other commenters) are willing to look at both sides of this issue before coming to a decision. I'm not out of the closet with my family, and considering my parents' views, I don't think I will be any time soon. However, if I met the right guy, that might change, since I would at least have someone that I loved to support me through the process.
OnMyWaytotheFLA 1 year ago
you just got a new [gay] subscriber, congratz. :D
Guitarscreech06 1 year ago
in the last part, u so adorable ^^
Shindou 1 year ago
i think what you are doing is great and very inisightful.
pjc19991 1 year ago
i think you are great and this is very insightfull, and understanding. thanks
pjc19991 1 year ago
thank you
powersc69 1 year ago
heres the strange thing...i was dating someone who was out, and i was for the most part in the closet...only a few close friends knew. Well, he acted like he was more in the closet than i was....anyways.
That was a funny username, and I wondered while watching it if you got a kick out of it... thanks for adding that snippet at the end.
MDkid1 1 year ago
Hi um I've been watching your shows even though I mite be a bit young to coz I'm only 14 years old but anyway I have 2 questions and hopfully u will answer me so here goes. 1.would u think I'm too young to decide weather I'm gay or bi sexual yet? 2. My step dad always makes fun of gay people but my mum dusnt mind them and my step dads very a controling person and if he found out tht I was thinking about being gay he'd be furious so what do I do?
charlz0279 1 year ago
I was in this situation too and he kept saying "If you were a girl this would be easier." So i broke up with him, he was hot but really offensive towards gay so he wouldnt seem it, so i got him back after he went off on me about "How homosexuality is an abomination." So i simply said, "I'm breaking up with you." in front of all his friends, and it ruined him. I feel bad about it now and i wish i never had done it.
Ryeguy9595 1 year ago
Well, I'm in the closet, and my BF is completely out. He is really understanding and he is not pushing me at all. Of course is not like im not secure about my sexuality, I mean, I'm 100% gay, and I like it, I just don't want my parents to know. Anyway, thigs are going very well. The funny thing here is that I used to think that I would never date someone out of the closet, because all of this problems, but I guess when love calls you have to answer.
Fenicksss 1 year ago
I almost did this with a friend of mine but when I weighed the pros and cons of the situation i ended up telling her no. She was a mormon(or so she was raised as such, her mom was a major one). I wasn't into having to hide our relationship from her family and friends
PaperBagPersphone 1 year ago
Good choice. I had been in the same situation.
Grawler1 1 year ago
That's nice to hear! I often avoid people when I think they are starting to get a crush on me because I'm not out to my parents, and I think it would be unfair to the other person.
Perhaps I won't be so quick to blow people off now.
I enjoy watching your videos. The perspective of other gay people is really interesting to me.
randomnessocity 1 year ago
aw ur laugh is soo cute at the end ^^
cutiepie17914 1 year ago 29
it's not worth it to date a guy who is not out.
ddAdmire 2 years ago
It is very difficult dating someone that is in the closet if you are out of the closet. I have been in that situation but because I loved the person I did what I had to do to keep out relationship going. Although now it was not worth it but then I thought it was.
Zebraboy19 2 years ago
definetly hard to deal with....I got a friend who he has only came out to 3 people and he will never be able to come out to alot because he is military. So there are some people who have no choice, and i bet if he finds the guy for him he would really be himself around them.
spearconVict 2 years ago
I totally agree with u Bmystyle.I depending on the guy and how well we get along i would date someone still in the closet.Some have it easier than others to come out and its a very touchy subject for some guys.but i would totally give them a chance:)
amb817 2 years ago
I'm still in the closet but if I find the right one i'll let him hold my hand or kiss me in public but until then... XP
galarid8 2 years ago
I totally agree with you. I'm hate outing people...I did it once by accident. If someone is gay but is in the closet then it's their choice when they come out or if they come out. P.S. love your laugh :)
CriminalMinds89 2 years ago
i tried that once. didn't work out so well (but maybe cuz he was older???) i really tried to make it work, but keeping and arms length distance in the mall and hooking up in his car weren't doing it for me. i need to know i'm loved and if you can't do that in public than we cant be together. is that shallow? please tell me.
KIKINURBUTT 2 years ago
No I get what you're saying...if they can't show that they love you in public (not like sticking their tongue in your mouth or what ever all the time) then it's like they are ashamed of you...
CriminalMinds89 2 years ago
@CriminalMinds89 actually i think its that they are ashamed of themselves... they still havent learned to love and accept who they are
Bmystyle 2 years ago
There's that too. Just ashamed in general.
CriminalMinds89 2 years ago
You should read the Velvet Rage by Alan Downs
mdonofri 2 years ago
Question: how do you feel when you see a hot woman
KelseyDelcambreTV 2 years ago
The door out of the closet is not exactly a clearly defined space...I'm gay, everyone knows I'm gay but I don't allow anyone discuss it....because it's none of their business.....I don't discuss a straight person's straightness---unless I'm provoked !-- but coming out of the closet for me does not mean making it a public topic...nor do I ever issue Press Releases ! So yeah, I would date a guy in the closet, without any adverse judgments on him because of that. It's hard for some guys, goddamnit.
rickT5555 2 years ago
it is frustrating not being able to tell any1 not having an open relationship, not being able to seek comfort when something bad happens in a crowd or something of the like, many ppl date closeted mennot knowing they r closet, some cant stand, but the more considerate help them thru the transition, mb helping them come out to one person at a time letting them kno no matter wat they will be there for them, its hard to say whether to date or not to date it is ur question
xoxo ajjensen1993
ajjensen1993 2 years ago
xD Great vid and reaction Lol
MrJason300 2 years ago
john it sounds like your example was more that the guy was shady so I am glad that you are still open to dating other closetted guys. We all have to come out in our own time, I am not big on outing ppl. They need our support and love, they don't need their gay bros and sisters attacking them too. It's a bright place out there and some guys want to gets their eyes used to the light before they come out or to decide they are closer to the straight end of the scale.
mgkweaver 2 years ago
Oh man, I think we all have horror stories of "When I dated that guy in the closet..." lol but I agree with you, yet again: It's vital for us to be more concerned with how we feel about the person than how they feel about their sexuality. Personally, I'm comfortable with mine but it's no one's business. I admit it but I don't brandish it in people's faces. I think, also, that it's very possible for us to help the person we care about come out if they need or want help. Great Vid & much <3
scozybcoz0 2 years ago
awesome and sexy :)
mrazman 2 years ago
im confused rite now,,,
i really like this cute guy (senior) in my college,,
adorable,cool hair OMG,,,
he always noticed me and look at me,,,
i realy wanna know if hes gay,,,
but hes very cute,,
i mean,,hes too perfect to be gay,,,
OMG i love him,,OMGOMGOMG
mike199018 2 years ago 7
Do you feel comfortable asking if he is gay? Just because he is cute and too perfect does not mean he is straight. Just study how he interacts with you, and how he interacts with females. Does he show more attention to you or females? Does he flirt with you?
mrtnsamson 2 years ago
no,,,im too shy,,
m not openly gay,,,
mike199018 2 years ago
0RGASMM!! LOL!!
Rxwbeez 2 years ago
@mike199018 ask him what he thinks about gays and go from there.
xaldinsbaby1 11 months ago
it is rele hard to date someone in the closet because even tho u kno the person is worth it but u dnt kno wat there limits are but if there not out its there choice u just have to be there to help and support then instead of rejecting then b/c of it
east1012000 2 years ago
oh, you're awesome, keep up the good work!
sharkn02 2 years ago
You're GREAT dude! You're the coolest guy ever! How come you figured most of the gay world in three years! I've been out and about for 7 years and still there are so many things I don't understand! Cheers mate! BTW, you're really sweet and cute!
ejgcarlos 2 years ago 3
OH NOOO!! i gotta get the hell out
i'll be alone for ever ...
p.s. i did laugh with the user name xD
pgmz01 2 years ago 20
Do NOT date someone in the closet!!! DO NOT!!!!
From personal experience it is the most painful thing you can experience.
cooolness3 2 years ago
wow... your such an awesome guy... Luv your vids..
meowkid 2 years ago 3
i loved the blooper...hahaha so funny
tristanos22 2 years ago
Dont we all love♥ bloopers :D
rvn1992 2 years ago
IpeeInthepool xDDD
Love the video!
tubetdsman 2 years ago
Been there...done that, and if the person is worth it, i'd do it again.
BTW.. you have the cutest laugh.
donnywannabe 2 years ago 3
he really does=D
IchriswatsonI 2 years ago
that the only person you can talk to is yourself, cause you couldn't share it with anyone, even your gay friends, cause you had to keep the secret. When you have one too many of that episode, it will just eat you up from within. So forget the movies where the guy always ends up with his first high school or college sweetheart. Not everyone's significant other is the first one they seriously feel for in their life. Most of us will find it after several heartbreaks. But everyne eventually will ;)
xuantian81 2 years ago 4
fool yourself into thinking it will, god knows i did lots of that. So trying to find someone who is equally open about themselves (or at least intends to in near future). It will do both of you good, you always have someone to lean on and it is just good for your mental well being. to be emotionally closeted after coming out will have a toll on you, it will eat you up. of course back in those days I was just happy to spend whatever time I had with him but sometimes when problems arise, you find
xuantian81 2 years ago
he decided that he wanna go straight. I doubt that he is straight, maybe bi but definately not straight. And so he asked that we end this, it was pretty hard for me, considering i invested my heart in this but it obviously it will never payoff. Took me a long time but I did eventually got over him. So it is not like I totally don't think it will work but be careful. Promises that weren't followed through can really hurt. You can love someone unconditionally but if there is no future in it, don't
xuantian81 2 years ago 2
I am a new subscriber and I had to add my two cents worth on this video cause it is one of the things that I experienced personally and it was painful. I was in this relationship with a guy who was closeted to all but myself. We could only discuss everything in the privacy of either of our rooms. Basically the relationship doesn't exist outside the walls of our room. He promised everything but commitment. I stuck with it for years because I was so in love with him, but at the end of college year
xuantian81 2 years ago
Thanks, that was fun. Why wait forever?! Unless they are truly worth it! Take care, and I subscribed!
Gray99 2 years ago
I dated a girl who was still in the closet; I was pretty understanding about it. After a week, she got more comfortable and started telling some of her close friends. Unfortunately, word got out at school and everyone started giving her a hard time about it. Our relationship was pretty much over after that.
Dating people in the closet can be tough. But when they're ready to come out, and if you have enough patience, I can be really worth it in the end.
(Still really close with her <3)
KayteGotSquished 2 years ago
Lol it sounded hilarious when u said the guy's name xD
Awesome job :D
Ixidor13 2 years ago
my first relationship, both me and my boyfriend started in the closet..and as time went on, I came out, and he remained in. It became difficult..all the hiding, lying, and like john where we could meet and when we could meet.
I dont think i could ever do it again...It was really difficult to come out of the closet, and I don't think I can go back again.
astrolabe1976 2 years ago
i've been thru that too and I don't recommend it to anyone in the whole world but, I would do it again too.
peterocks90 2 years ago
Thanks for looking at this from the other guy's perspective. I think the coming out process can be really helped if you have a partner who is further along with the process and is willing to offer you support.
maitriparamita 2 years ago 15
I completely agree with you. It takes patience though for the person out of the closet, but if there is something there...you can not ignore that.
Couver87 2 years ago 6
yea i have dated someone in the closet as well and it was a tough experince trying to find time were we could hang out and stuff...i really liked this guy so i stuck with it and by the end of my senior year of high school we both came out to our parents and we had eachother for support for that...and the only reason were not seeing eachother anymore is because im stuck in wisconsin and he is at cornell university in NY so yea it was a good experience....love ya...cheers
muffinman8800 2 years ago
wow. hella insightful =]
dadarkmagus 2 years ago
I wouldn't date a person in the closet.
I dated a few men who were closeted but I found that these men were all consistently emotionally unavailable. For this reason I wont.
I need a more mature relationship than a person in the closet can offer.
But this is just my opinion.
DazedConfused989 2 years ago
i love tha last part of your video! :D
pauzabaletaillauger 2 years ago
just consider dating a closet guy as a training program of becoming an FBI agent...
marcburo 2 years ago 14
funniest thing i read all day! +5 internets
Toshisan 2 years ago
@marcburo LMAO!!! tats hilarious!
Ryeguy9595 1 year ago
I've also been there. I was out at 14, at 18 I dated a guy who wasn't. I think the hardest thing for me was we could only go out with a group, and usually it had to be a group of my friends, whom he was out to, But if we went anywhere it was always as a group, there was never any just us time. Except at my place, but I had two roommates at the time. I would do it again, I mean you can't help who you fall for. But I do think at 1st it would be harder than last time. I've been out 4 12 years now.
DragonRiderHP 2 years ago 2
i think it def complicates things- and i def wouldnt CHOOSE it - but i would work with it for the right person - i def agree with you
JUAN CUBA
JuanCubaNation 2 years ago
I agree. It is much more important to think on both sides of the equation especially when it comes to a relationship. I recently had someone who had taken interest in me and I found out that he was in the closet. I felt kind of relieved in a way cuz I had just recently came out this last Nov. So I know what its like to sort of hang on to ones sexuality, so to speak. Empathy and sensitivity are some qualities that I look for in a guy, and its nice to know some people possess them. Good vid
Ffreak08 2 years ago
Totally get it! It can be so relieving to date another person who just came out or who is still in the closet. It can be intimidating to date a guy who is so secure with their sexuality at a time when you are still working on that yourself.
Couver87 2 years ago 3
It is very hard to fight against your loving feelings...
Great job, Couver87, my respects <3
SIRC0L0RS 2 years ago 3
seriously so sweet and honest. i think it's great dude!
thejustins86 2 years ago
Not the best, not the worst...but honestly - I'm a cynic, I don't think they last very long...from experience. Like you mentioned, the lies and complications are just far too much.
nickbrown2k2 2 years ago
i think if the connection is there than there is no wrong in dating a closeted gay guy, and if the relationship is strong and truely from the heart than it may just help the closeted person to come out.
dev10100 2 years ago
sound like a lot of work...
WordsAtWill 2 years ago
your out take was very cute, when you announce the question at the beginning and said the user name I was like that their ID name--just shook my head--I can understand play on words of an user name but sometimes I just don't get why someone would want a user name like that--I guess each to their own
another fine vlog John thou don't forget we want some vlogs about your 4 months living in Canada
babylonsquared 2 years ago
"its his naaame" Omgsh! Youre sooo adorable =] haha
Marvin20045 2 years ago