FTM Born In The Wrong Body

[sassthefreak1]

You've put in words things I can't express and for that I give you might utmost thanks.

[XXtheotherside]

Wow... great video. Very well said. You're right... it is YOUR journey. Peace bro.

[eastridinfili]

I've heard the very same words. Snap snaps!

[Catpn]

this has always been a fav of mine

[summerdowling87]

Thank's a nice cheat tattoo

[xxthread]

wow. that's all i can say. so powerful. so honest.

[dzbaby23]

This is absolutely AMAZING YO!!! This is the BEST transition video i have ever seen.. Tho i am a lesbian, and will only identify myself as.. i admire the whole transition process and believe that you are who you are behind the gender line which society have become comfortable with because it better suits the identity. No1 truly knows a person besides the person living in the body and i think this video is by far the best way it can be explained,,,Love it

[laidbaqq]

@dzbaby23 Thanks

[aaryntalks]

This was fucking deep man. I know you posted this mad long ago but I couldn't not comment on it. Definitely a very real, honest straight up way of explaining what it's like to go through what we do. Thanks for posting it.

[laidbaqq]

@aaryntalks thank you.

[TionJae]

BEAUTIFUL WORDS!!

[laidbaqq]

@TionJae thank you

[liberiason]

Drizzy!!!!

[Calvero416]

This is definately one of the best descriptions of ftm problems I have ever seen. Thank you soooo much for making it so real and tangeable. I think everyone should see this.

[laidbaqq]

@Calvero416 Thank you vm.

[7BLUNTS7]

deep as fuk....im adopting you as my lil bro - cOOl?

[BiggBoi72]

Im a little older than u but u really have inspired me, ive been conteplating transition for years but my fear of being ostrisized by both the gay n str8 community has caused me to delay and forced to live inside this shell called my body.....thank you

[laidbaqq]

@BiggBoi72 I apologize for being late, but I hope all has been well for you and progressing. Don't worry about them, because at the end of the day, YOU have to live with yourself, not them. People will enter and exit your life, but you will always be present in it. Enjoy it.

[BiggBoi72]

@laidbaqq thanks xay and btw i am now 8wks on t and sceduled for top next month :)

[laidbaqq]

@BiggBoi72 :D congratulations man! will you be sharing your results with us?

[BiggBoi72]

@laidbaqq Of course!I already have a couple of vids up and plenty more to come!

[kzam717]

sure ppl say you can live like that,b/c it costs too much in their opinion and ppl hate change.And of course you deserve a life,and you need an op so you don't have to hide in summer,or in the gym,if you're athletic or if you like to be outside.What kind of a life is that to be?So some numb nut doesn't have to get insecure if you turn up to be more of a man than him?You already got the balls,the rest will fall into place eventually!Great video.Awesome writing too.

[laidbaqq]

@kzam717 Yea, folks fail to realize that what is right for one, isn't necessarily right for another. So it should be left at that.

Thank you much

[Clobberk112]

Why cant this world just wake up and take a stand, lets clean this world up.

[Clobberk112]

This is not fair at all, we let the devil take over and trick us and now its too late.

[laidbaqq]

@Clobberk112 For one, I don't believe in any "devil". Secondly, don't be depressed over me taking back my life and taking the path to happiness in my own way. I've explained MANY times why I'm going through this, and since you seem to comment on many of my videos, I'd hope that you were listening enough to catch on.

[Clobberk112]

This makes me depressed, what do I have to do to make you change back???????? I just get depress over seeing this, I dont know what to say right now......................

[Clobberk112]

I just cant take it no more, im sorry to nag you but please hear me out. Why do you have to go though this? This makes me want to do something about this it, it really does. Im a guy but I just want to say I hate myself just for you because us men has failed you and now your plagued with confusion and when I say I hate myself im not kidding.

[datdykeNess]

Wow. This the realest thing I've ever seen. "the penis doesn't make the man" I never in a million years would think anyone in earth would understand those words like I do. You truly are courages. More then I'll ever be.. I'll probably be stuck like this forever. But I wish you all the luck.

[BullRyda83]

This really just opened my eyes! thank you... i have been open bout who i am bout being a trans man but not with my family.... and i need to do this for me and no one else... this vid was amazing. thank you so much for posting it...

[tiffanylovesT]

Wow...

[queerboibtb09]

you inspired me watching this i deal with this all day everyday. i lost my whole fam for comming out to all. i got my girl and r son. I love them so much talk to me some time hope you are well

[sexcci92]

Aww this almost had me tearing. I know im SUPER late but....Blahhh :)

[KaywanDaBoss]

I HATE when ppl say shit like.. ur such a cute stud... it just feels like an insult of sorts

[laidbaqq]

@KaywanDaBoss double edged sword. They're saying you're cute but ignoring your actual identity.

[laidbaqq]

@nae4real thanks

[laidbaqq]

@rwillardokorie and thank you for taking the time out to seek insight of what they may be experiencing. :)

[theruler718]

You have nice teeth!

[laidbaqq]

@theruler718 lol thanks to braces!! ty

[igotsthefire]

i'm a stud, and i cried to this.

everything you just said, i felt deeply.

im just at a lost of words, but its hard to have courage like yours.

[laidbaqq]

@igotsthefire thank you for watching, its appreciated.

[TheZxy2010]

This video is a piece of art. And so informative too. Extremely well done. Good luck buddy!

[THEREALCANDI]

great vid!!! wow. people need to educate themselves about the difference between "sexuality" and "sex". sex is what your body is. sexuality is many things but mainly is what you like. I know a person who was born female then transitioned to male but never felt atracted to females. so basically was a gay man inside a female body.

[laidbaqq]

@THEREALCANDI I agree, they should! A lot of people take what they learn from elementary school sex ed and leave it at that. Unfortunately, Its not as simple as they'd like to inform us.

[luvzstudz]

wow this is deep..almost cried  peace&love handsome man ;)

[laidbaqq]

@luvzstudz :) thanks

[elchuguire]

Respect!!!

fkn awesome bro!

-teo

[CoryIsCute]

This video is so powerful and has so much meaning in it that kind of makes me want to cry.. and when I say cry I mean it in a good way because this is how I feel every day of my life and living with is hard enough to do but having to explain it to someone is even harder. But the way you said everything made so much sense and I'm very thankful that you made this video...So thank you :)

[laidbaqq]

@CoryIsCute like you said, explaining it is quite the task.. glad I was able to capture that for you.

[charlesasher]

amazing video, man. just wow.

[laidbaqq]

@charlesasher thanks.

[bustitwydeopen365]

i luv this vid ur tattoo looks amazing the audio its so smooth im jus imagine u makin a sequal 2 this with u on T that wud be absolutely the best vid on utube

[laidbaqq]

@bustitwydeopen365 thanks. that's an interesting idea..

[spongebabs2000]

RESPECT BROTHER

[Stud17Carlos]

I loved it..Felt that frm the soul..Congrats hun

[MrBozzi3]

amazing! you have a gift of putting your thoughts into words. thanks for sharing.

[arenbarger001]

Wow. this is the best thing i have seen on youtube yet. You put your feelings into words nicely. I have tried to explain this to a couple of people but can never seem to find the right words to explain such intense feelings. But, i feel the same way.

[laidbaqq]

@arenbarger001 I tried my best. still feel like this doesn't exactly explain it but.. hell if its helping get the point across, no need to change it right?

thnx btw.

[LipGlossTinka]

i love this video

[AriKornell]

thats wats up bro i wanna go thru tha process but i keep worryin about my family they already treat me diff cuz im a stud but if i go FTM they gone disown my ass...

[CSULB15]

wow bro. that's all i can say. simply wow.

[Niennis]

This was amazing. You describe being trans so well. I feel like this should be shown everywhere.

[truutopia]

That was so DEEP

[ByTheWayImGay]

I respect you so much

[nubian65]

this is beautiful. thank you xavier

[nONii2305]

My mom... LOVED this!! She didn't get transgenders as a whole at first, but listening to you, she sees how this feeling can be relative to anything in life. Acceptance starts with truth. Thank u for speaking yours!!!

[laidbaqq]

Oh wow your Mom? Thanks for sharing it with her. wow

[FlyyOnTheWall]

Amen, bro...Shine your light and let the world know.

[kj6889]

This made me cry...I see ur hurtn idk what I can do to help u..but I am here..wish u the best luck in your life nd choices..

[StuddedL0ve]

damn..tht was so deep. "i dnt feel i am less then a man, i feel tht im less than myself" <-..wow soo deep, wo wo wow..speechless. ima show dis 2 all the closeminded ppls..cuz even tho im not fml, jus a stud, i feel as tho i can relate 2 an extent of it

[MCP2012]

Hey, darlin', I'm glad u're now in touch with Xay here. I love u both very much and am PROUD of u both very much. (And I just realized my computer has re-logged me in as "MCP2012" instead of "BourneArgonaut". I think both of y'all know me more as the latter, but it's just 2 different accts for the same person (yeah, there's a story behind that but I won't go into it here...). Anyway, love u both!! Big Texas-size ((HUG)) to u both! ;-)

[dattruebisexual]

wow u have all my support and love!!! this made me cry!!!! and love the name

[SUGGaISyUMmy]

i love it.......

[laidbaqq]

thank you!

[Lionqueeng]

That was amazing..woow..!!really

I wanne give ya all my love and support

And uuhhmm keep ya head up!

Love

[laidbaqq]

:) thanks, I appreciate it

[sexyfemmepurple1]

....='(

[titipooh12192]

i like fukin love u,lolz!!! u kno wat u r and u not gone hide it 4 otha dumb ignorant ppl, u shouldnt have 2 show ppl any reason as in y u r the way u r.....do u hun!

[umademe1]

amazing xay... ily and i support you 100% not one of us is better than another.. we should def chill one day im in dc

[luminoussounds]

Awesome video! Very heartfelt and deep. I love the lighting... very documentary-esque... I've watched a few of your vids and see that you are from Maryland as well. I look forward to watching your journey as you walk it.

Peace, love and light.

[destoni86]

wow thas was rlly deep i def cried n i support u do wha u need to do to be you much lov

[laidbaqq]

thank you

[allysiadavis]

that was some good shyt, like real talk u had my attention the whole time... damn ive never heard some one express themselves like that before. I feel the same way as you, imtrapped in a body that i cant look at for too long cuz its just not me. wow..dude that was deep

[propshuass]

Bad ass fuckin video man :-D

[eternalfem]

I wanna give you all my support and love!

I wanna say that you are who you are and NEVER allow anyone to put you down, down play your feelings or even attempt to stop you from feeling the way you do. You are a beautiful human being regardless of your sex or gender. I say that this video post is the TRUTH and is beautiful. Showing EXACTLY who you are. I loved it and had to post a comment. All the best my love on your journey on finding your true self xoxoxo

[laidbaqq]

Thank you much!

[90zfASHiONgEEK]

this is mad deep. kudos.

[seth1852]

dude my birthday is august 6 too

i was born on 08/06/1986

haha we tight now bro

[laidbaqq]

awesome!

[TrantisionerMarin]

August 9th, 1987... Transwoman here! Know how u feeling. However I won't say I was born in the wrong body... Even tho I can openly admit feeling like a woman in a male body. I love and adore my body more then anything else *though I would change one thing about it >_>* It's the world with a problem, teaching us the only way to be a ts is to hate ourselves. Sure I hate having a ..... but I wouldn;t give up this body for some other hefers, i put too much work into this shat!

[laidbaqq]

Would I trade mine? I honestly think I would.

but I know what cha saying.

[TrantisionerMarin]

I'm pretty sure all of us "transitioners" would desire to have a fully functional, pretty, workable body.. that could attract the people we like in a flash. But if you think about it.... well i sure did when i started... it coulda been worse. Atleast my body is healthy, and somewhat attractive.. I didn't get totally screwed in life, and this life's not permanent. Thank God

[laidbaqq]

ah yes of course. Those are the same thoughts that pass my mind when I'm still capable of being optimistic. Ever have those moments where you're just so hard on yourself and can no longer say to yourself "well at least...." ?

[TrantisionerMarin]

Yeah plenty of those, the hardest thing I have to think about is not having the joy of giving birth to a child of my own. Yes people preach to me adoption, but its not like im going to forget about how I failed to pass my "genes" on. I'm never gonna forget being born male. Never gonna forget the harassment and mental tourment. Trust me im extremely pessimistic. But out of all these bad things I learned one important thing most people take forever or failt to learn. Which is an awesome trade-off.

[laidbaqq]

Yea, my thoughts always go back to "baby making". Folks recommend freezing eggs but please tell me, how much does that cost and how likely is it that I'll be able to afford it before I either have a hysto or I become infertile? eh.

Completely understood. I'm just in one of those ruts right now. it'll pass.. just to return but. whatever the world continues to turn.

[TrantisionerMarin]

*hugs u* It'll be ok! We'll survive.. and hopefully teach someone to love people for who they are... and not for only what they are.

[sweetascandy5389]

thank you for sharing! i really appreciate it.

[xxashlienicolexx]

absolutely amazing.

quite defined and real.

it leaves me...

in silence

[Dash107]

*nods head speechlessly....*

[lookatyvonne]

great vid

[jreal15]

I am sorry man. I can only relate a little, being that I am butch. The last time I remember really having issues with my identiy was early childhood. I used to ask my mom why I wasn't born a boy and tell her that I wanted to be one. But as I have gotten older I have grown to accept my androgyny, and the fact I feel I am both a man and a woman....fighting with each other and learning to get along in this female body. I make it work for the most part. (by the way, this is paradigm from DL)

[jreal15]

I understand now that human beings are so much more complex than the genders assigned to them at birth and also the gender roles they standardize and try to abide by in society. Its all bullshit. Good luck to you.

[daonetruelamia]

I love this video. Love the poem and the camera shots you decided to use!

[laidbaqq]

thank you

[SELKILKT]

this was awesome!

[vainsmith]

i love this. it was a semi documentary. a true journey traveled within the mind of thee. people are always trying to tell one how they should live - but its best that we all do whats best for ourselves. thats true happiness.

[Tage06]

HOT VERY HOT DUDE...GOLF CLAP

[dhillis183]

dat shit was tuff as hell. i will never kno wat that feels like and im sure youve heard every word of encouragement and also every word of resentment, but u kno wta u gta do for urself at the end of the day. do ya thing bruh

[laidbaqq]

a legend? naaah but thanks! :D I was just thinking up tats to put on my shoulders. sitll at a loss

how wide is this going to be? sounds like its going to be all the way across.

thnx

[devontree78]

off the chain nic vid

[laidbaqq]

thnx

[ljuze]

I have no sound on my comp but from watching it with no sound I feel Im still getting your msg... I have so much fucking respect for u bro, everything in wat i saw is the reason i have not updated.... but maybe its time for me to reach out like you have man.. thankyou :)

[laidbaqq]

definitely man go ahead and let it out

[jadiie22]

i love this video foreal =)

[yungb0003]

awesome vid bro, u speak for ALOT of ppl in general and thats real!

[dewmocracy68]

almost dropped a tear, takes me back with a friend i once had, but find yourself and when you do in the end you will be happy, regardless what other people say you should be, it's what you want to be. So be it, that's the important part.

[freshlycharles]

u are one of my favorites. favorited for your honesty, love, and for what you give to this community. xo

[Damnyou1985]

i love this video and im glad u are in search of the comfort you need to be yourself. be tru to you Xavier. Being trapped in a cage destroys ur spirit it crushes u u need to be free

[laidbaqq]

definitely. I'm slowly getting there. thanks

[Damnyou1985]

the road maybe rough but when u get where u want to be it will great

[laidbaqq]

ah I hope so

[suga7shane]

This is what YouTube is for. Thank you so much for this video. I still don't know what I am, but I know who I am, and for now that is enough. You have my support, but most importantly you have your own. Do what makes you happy and that's all that matters.

[Hunniebunch12]

wow..thats deep..i dont know how you feel but omg i can only imagine what that feels like...i have so much respect for trangenderd people because damn..that's so much for a person to go through..

[StudwithSwag]

Thank you so much for sharing this, Xavier. Your thoughts and words have resonated deeply. Great video.

[ChocMami]

i loved this vid!

[moonlightsadness]

This vid is great...thanks for sharing.

[nailskepttidy]

wow this vid really touched my heart.

i feel what your saying

[Abstraktshunz]

Deep...but that's gotta be hard though do u feel trapped? (so to speak) I mean Idk how U really feel b/c i'm not in your shoes but I can imagine what it feels like.

[laidbaqq]

trapped? yes.

but its just as hard trying to explain such a thing.

[Abstraktshunz]

I can imagine and trapped was the only way I could somewhat describe it :(

[laidbaqq]

well I think that's as accurate as one can get. esp. with one word.

[renarena2007]

wow zay. love you. =]

[laidbaqq]

ditto!

[ShortOne324]

im sure everyone now has a deep understanding of why people transition... i just hope the ignorant people that never understood takes this to mind

[laidbaqq]

yea.. hopefully.. but then you have those who have no desire to understand and be compassionate for a change. ah well! lost cause.

understanding aside. I'd like to see more respect. ya know?

[ShortOne324]

yea i understand what you saying

[LYRIKALTOMBOI]

DEEP...i'm witcha..i feel ya... wow..great VID homeboiii!!

[casdon216]

They are tough emotions to share, and I'm proud of you for doing it. You got a brother here anyday...who feels the same way.

[TaMiCe24]

until today i never understood the reason of gender changing but now i understand and i wish you luck man great video

[laidbaqq]

really??

thanks!

[ah09087]

oooo im so mad at you for wanting to stop makin videos. this was great man

[laidbaqq]

thanks. & I've been convinced to stay! its all good.

[blite101]

u better stay! :)

this video is amazing. im glad u shared this with us...you put it in a different perspective than what im used to and now i actually feel like i understand it.

xx

[snipncody]

great video.

[ZyonisFTM]

Personal & Touching. Dope.

[punxfille]

wow.

fuckin' amazing. one love.

take care.

and a WHOLE LOTTA thanx!!!!

[fuhzecub]

Right on brother.  Head up, chin out, no apologies.

[bmad721]

great video, very deep.

[MoJoIsOnFire]

awesme vid dude, i can totally relate. also i love the tattoo

[laidbaqq]

thanks.

[tobyr3]

Beautifully done Xavier.

[1butterflyandroses1]

cool