Added: 6 months ago
From: davidmitchellsoapbox
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  • Which religion is right? Islam. Just ask them. They'll tell you.

  • Couldn't you just put jam on one side of the cut scone, and cream on the other?

  • I have too much love for David and John.

  • Cadberys dairy milk, tastes of shit.

  • @ColFeren No surprise there, You're buying the wrong brand.

  • @blade3337 No, I just can't spell it, and it tastes like shit anyway.

    Galaxy FTW!

  • @ColFeren Fuck that, Lindt all the way.

  • Umm, you pronounced scone wrong, David.

  • ... an inquisitive douglas fir. haha

  • When I want chocolate, I melt it and pump it directly into my jugular.

  • The scone thing really bothers me! The cream is more difficult to spread, which is exactly why you put it on first! If you try to spread the cream on top of the jam you just end up pushing the jam to the sides, whereas spreading jam on top of cream is easy because the cream is nice and thick!

  • @atomicmrpelly Also Galaxy > Dairy Milk

  • uhm, does this mean Finnemore has to give me a computer now?

  • has anyone been to australia and mad dairy milk with macadamia nuts in? incredible. As far as chocolate in england goes, either toblerone or milka, because kraft is the best chocolate maker, or lindt for that matter

  • I was about to correct Mitchell's word 'unarguable' but knowing his grasp of the language I thought it would be prudent to look it up first. Turns out inarguable and unarguable are both words

  • I enjoy David Mitchell's appreciation of the Pagan tradition.

  • lool Islam ^^

  • the fear in the final question

  • Comment removed

  • Dairy Milk is horrible.

  • @shadowofdread North American Dairy Milk (and Cadburys more generally) is horrible, British dairy milk (and Cadburys) is lovely.

  • @seosamhoc I am British though. It's fucking horrible.

  • @shadowofdread

    I'm not too fond of it either, I do have it (usually because it's always the most common BECAUSE it's popular amongst other people) but it's far from the nicest to me.

    Nestle are probably the best chocolate makers to me.

  • Wheeee.... I am a magic fairy!

  • Best Bonds in order of greatness.

    1. Sean Connery

    2. Timothy Dalton

    3. Daniel Craig

    4. Roger Moore

    5. Barry Nelson

    6. David Niven

    7. George Lazenby

  • @baldurus1 No Pierce Brosnan at all?

  • @LilMsBiatch Pierce Brosnan almost destroyed the whole series single handed.

    I don't consider the Brosnan movies part of the Bond series at all.

    James Bond is not an impotent fairy, Bond is a rough and rugged secret agent.

    Qualities Brosnan does not poses.

  • i stopped buying cadbury after i found out how many child slaves they 'employ' to harvest their cocoa

  • I'm shocked and upset that David Mitchell isn't a dark chocolate man.

  • @mankytoes That is also what his ex gf said.. zing

  • @BluDic wtf 

  • Mr. Finnemore is in fact mostly correct.

    How dairy milk is the best chocolate eludes me.

  • Hmm I coulda won that, apart from the tie breaker. There was no right answer to that!

  • How can one 'sneak' a pagan icon into a pagan festival that was amalgamated by westerners into being about the birth of jesus the magic man?

    Im going to sneak my own pagan icon in here:

    o o v

    \__/

    this is a picture i have drawn representing muhammed the representative of the magic of islam. I tried submitting it to the bbc but instead they commissioned another program about how people who believe in a magic sky man are somehow not backward morons. :(

  • @fume0ne i failed art school also :(

  • I think for the hell of it, since the Christmas tree is of Norse, or at least teutonic in origin, I'm going to top it with Thor's hammer. And get some raven decorations (Hugin and Munin) a few sleipnir figures dangling from the branches. Maybe some Valkyries, an old bearded chap with one eye missing--or is it both?. I can't remember.

  • I think Roger Moore was the best Bond.

  • Do British Monopoly sets not have the race-car? You can't make a "vroom" noise with an iron! Not to mention that the first part of being rich is acting rich, and what's more egregiously rich than owning a fast car? There's no silicone breast implant piece, sadly.

  • Cream first, because then it looks like an egg with a red yolk.

  • Wheeee! I'm a magic fairy!!! LOL

  • I picture James Bond, and I'm picturing Brosnan. The best James Bond was easily Connery, but Bond definitely looks like Brosnan in my head.

  • My mother would kiss you for the Fairy answer

  • the end of this made me piss out a kidney. (not spoiling it though!)

  • @BluDic LOL!!!!!!!

    

  • @BluDic You're a dick.. A funny dick, but a dick! :)

  • I think I pooed a little when he said Islam

  • @BluDic dude! don't pick on disabled people! Can't you tell he has no legs. - Mr. Crush us -sounds like a terrible accident. U're a cold guy. thanks for the fun message fight. you guys are idiots!

  • You can have the Iron cos' I'm a feminist.

    That's just brilliant!

  • @BluDic Exactly. You commented on my comments initially, simply to start some kind of argument. My initial comment WAS about the video. I was saying to the other guy that jam is easier than cream to spread, hence agreeing with the video. So what you just said in that comment, actually applies to you.

  • @MrCrushus that BluDic guy really schooled you but you didn't even get it. hehe got your panties a bit twisted, but just couldn't hang. Nice try sounding clever dumb ass. You got a written wedgie

  • @BluDic look there is no point in continuing this, you havent put forward even the slightest resemblence of an argument. Just insults and meaningless comments. Have a good life, good luck growing up.

  • @BluDic I dont think you understand arguments, none of your comments have backed up your point. In fact, after two comments, your comments seem like you have forgotten your initial point. Just forget about it, argue with some children to learn the basics then try again with an adult.

  • @BluDic once again you didnt read the comment. I already had voted up. I voted it up yesterday. And no im not a kid. But by the way you try an insult, you certainly act like one.

  • @BluDic Thats fine. I honestly thumbed it up when i first saw it. I have nothing against you, just dont like the way you try and argue with people. Insult after insult from the very first comment. And sure you are a scot/aussie, after the slightly racist comments everyone always says, oh man just kidding im black/asian/white/irish/anythi­ng they are being racist towards. The difference between us is that i was trying to just have a decent argument, not aggresive just talk about the video

  • @MrCrushus with different perspectives with the other guy, and you simply use insults that frankly have no point and are absolutely pathetic. Just mature a little bit and im sure we can have a decent conversation. You seem smart, just that your insults need some work.

  • @BluDic All i did in the first comment to him was disagree, not act like a pric. Then he got extremely offended and defensive. And im not telling you to think, im more just telling you to read comments, because from your origional post, it seems like you read about two lines of one of my comments and then began a wierd argument. Why wouldnt i argue with lesser minds? Arguing is an enjoyable thing, its just a discussion with passion.

  • @MrCrushus except you keep, for some reason, using pathetic insults about my family. Grow up.

  • @BluDic Not to just think, but to at least inform yourself before you state an argument. Instead of saying something, then after I showed you that you were wrong, pretending that you were trying to invoke some inherent anger towards americans which for some reason an Australian would have. I dont see where that logic is but ill let you keep thinking everyone hates americans. Then, of course, this is the funny part, you call me pathetic then use a "your mother..." joke.

  • @MrCrushus i mean, really? That is basically the sign, of someone who has nothing useful or intelligent to say, and just resorts to the most basic and frankly laughable insults on the internet.

  • @BluDic Scott/Auzzie temper combination? Bit racist to be honest. But ill let it slide. I wasn't angry that you called me american, i have nothing against americans. I was simply telling you to stp[ and think before you comment. You had no part of the conversation between me and another user and your initial comment was misinformed and unintelligent. Keep the ten quid, i can see you begging for them on the street in the near future.

  • Great ending. Cheers Islam for all the sterling work.

  • I can't tell how much I'm enjoying these videos...I'll just tell that "wee! I'm a magic fairy" made my day...

  • @BluDic Maybe you should read my bloody comment before you say anything. Already told you that i am Scottish born, and live in Australia. And i also said that we dont call it clotted cream, but have the same thing here. Stop being ignorant.

  • 1. craig

    2. a star

    3. galaxy

    4. the car

    5. varz

    6. jam then cream

    7. Scientology

  • we always put a dang fancy spire on top of our christmas tree.

  • 1. Roger Moore

    2. A star

    3. Milka

    4. The boot

    5. Vahz

    6. Jam then cream

    7. Judaism

  • 7. Islam on the far right as oppossed to the left? :P

  • YOU DON"T PUT A FAIRY ON YOUR CHRISTMAS TREE!!

  • 1. brosman

    2. a star

    3. cadbury fruit and nut

    4. dog

    5. vahz

    6. i hate scones

    7. none of then.... sorry

  • GET ME FINNEMORE!!!

  • 1. Brosnan

    2 I have a star on the tree

    3 I agree with dairy milk

    4 I always choose the ship

    5 I agree with vase

    6 I agree with the scone

    Tie Break is a trick question and David was being ironic with the answer.

  • 1.Never seen most James Bond films. Watched Casino Royale with my dad once, but I'm not a big fan of it.

    2. I don't use a fairy, a star or an angel. We have a handmade red swirly thing.

    3. I like the hat.

    4. I don't like chocolate, but Lindt is quite popular among my friends.

    5. I'm Canadian, so how David pronounces it might be the right way in England, but it's not here.

    6. I don't put cream on scones

  • Cream is first as this is the FAT which replaces the Butter so Cream then Jam get it right..........

  • @devonmale69 yeah he said thats what it is logically, but then cream doesnt really...spread like butter. Jam spreads much easier so spread on the jam, then spoon on a bit of cream. Much simpler.

  • @MrCrushus Well you not been to Devon then real Clotted Cream do it easy and it the only real cream not that runny stuff you get outside the south-west...

  • @devonmale69 first of all, please use english properly. Your statement is pretty poorly written, which is utterly shameful, considering this is a david mitchell video. Secondly, what south west are you referring to? No i havent been to Devon, but i dont think matters. I think you are referring to thickened cream, which still, doesnt sread quite as well as jam, you cant deny that, jam spreads better than all creams.

  • @MrCrushus Before you pick up on anyone's English You need to STOP and think. One I am Dyslectic and TWO Check your own English (Not american) and spellings It only show how stupid you are.

    As to what south west there is only one south west in the UK that I know of. and Jam you get in the South west do not spread well as It is full of fruit in whole berry's, can you spread a strawberry? .I cant.As you don't know what Clotted cream is I am guessing your not in UK

  • @devonmale69 im not even going to bother with the first half, every single person on youtube who spells poorly says they have some form of dyslexia.

    Ok so you live in the UK, you hadnt specified. There are many south wests depending on where you're from. Saying you're "south west" while online doesnt help at all if you havent said where you're from. I know what clotted creams are, they arent specific to UK. Just because jam has bits in it doesnt mean, there are strawberrys in it.

  • @MrCrushus Ah yes miss the first half BECAUSE it about YOUR mistakes.

    As for saying I am in UK this is a UK posting as its about UK things you the visitor and you not say you was in USA oh why should you that all you al think the words is.. most of you don't even know where anywhere is, let alone have a passport.

  • @devonmale69 no becuase there is no point in arguing that fact, you may or may not be dyslectic. I cant know. But i had a few minor spelling errors, whereas your comments are literally hard to understand.

    LOL you just assume im from america? I live in australia, and i have a dual scottish/australian passport. Also, the video isnt about UK things, the questions are about general parts of day to day life. Nothing specific to the UK, or at least, nothing that excludes other countries.

  • *CHANTS* David Mitchell is never wrong, David Mitchell is never wrong, David Mitchell is never wrong, DAVID MITCHELL IS NEVER... WAAA!! NO NOT CADBURY'S! IT TASTES LIKE CHALK!

  • @WorldNews92 I couldn't agree more! Cadbury's is vile!

  • @WorldNews92

    Compared to Hershey bars, they're the greatest food item ever.

  • Just because he was the first and the most popular does not make Sean Connery the best! Must do better, Mitchell!!

  • I'm going with Finnemore's answers except for a couple of points.

    -I agree with the star as it is WAY more pagan than a fairy, especially the victorian version on the screen.

    -Scones - I'm in NYC- be glad you can even find cream to put on your scones!

    - Best chocolates I know of are either german or french, which means it wouldn't be one of David's answers. US chocolate is a waste product, so again, be glad for what you have. Unless you live in the US, and then buy imported, or Whole Foods.

  • We had an impressive ship in our monopoly set too :D

  • Timothy Dalton. He was the most like the Bond of the Novels, minus the racism.

  • Does he do any ordinary stand up ?

  • We used to have a vors, afore it were smashed by our dorg. Pretty little thing it wors too.

  • Dorset represent! Never heard vors though :c

  • Darnit, I went for Roger Moore.

  • Funny how John Finnemore doesn't comment on religion . . .

  • Dairy Milk! GRR that is NOT a chocolate. It's as much a chocolate as Jammy Dodger is jam.

  • Well for me.... it's probably.....

    Brosnan, but I'll go with Conery also.

    An angel

    The dog! Durh!

    Dairy Milk or Galaxy

    Vase as in has

    and ya.... we go with butter.... and sometimes jam.... and it's scone... as in cone....

  • @Orlabobz Not the DOG the CAR! My sister was always the dog, and the little cow used to stamp his hard little legs into my board, ripping it to shreds!

  • @PoisonedAl

    Sorry.... the dog is awesome :)

  • the little dog is very obviously the piece to select when playing monopoly.

  • Weee! Im a magic fairy!

  • My favourite soapbox.

  • 2:03 Perfect delivery!

  • Which chocolate is best? The next one.

  • it'd have been funnier if he'd said the Mormons. Or Scientologists. They're hysterical when they're not terrifying.

  • So beautifully arrrogant.

    Just because he's arrogant, doesn't mean he's wrong!....I usually say that about myself, but David Mitchell is also special....

    He almost definately only said Islam so he doesn't get knifed/stabbed/shot/blown up/protested against and then any/all of the above.....

    If you ever happen to read this David, please let me know if i'm right!

  • Definitely Islam.

  • My Nan says 'Vawz'

  • @justwillow Your "nan" is probably senile. Sorry, it's just the way it is.

  • I'm surprised you didn't end up stumbling into the scon or scone argument which many people end up stumbling into =/

  • Thumbs up for Mr Finnemore!!!

  • 2:05

  • How about you both shut the fuck up and quit shouting at each other through shitty youtube comments you fucking morons.

  • Not that Christmas isn't entirely Pagan as is.

  • George Lazenby was the best Bond.

    This is scientific fact.

  • I do think Moore's the best Bond, but it's down to how the type of associations I have when it comes to spies. Not a "journalistic urge to go for the unobvious answer".

    I don't really care though. Still, if it wasn't for the sketch shows and Peep Show then Mitchell wouldn't be my favourite pompous facist. What can I say?  I'm a shitmuncher.

  • @EvilStreaks Listen asshole, Your a dickhead. That mean's you have shit for brains, a face that looks quite similar to a human peinus, and a god complex. Go ingest some iodine you big cunt. i hate u.

  • @Dalekfry I drink iodine all the time. It helps me with spelling, grammar, punctuation, and basic grasping of concepts. Try some. You might reach the intelect tiers of the mighty cunt diety, Peinus-Face (me). Let's do brunch.

  • @EvilStreaks hahaha lol i luv how u spend all of ur life on da internt so ur able 2 correct me. haha thank god dat i have a life :D. also, iodine is fatal to drink, so perhaps when ur in hell it will help u with spelling and gramar i doubt it tho. if ur a deity, than god is a fuckiing mere mortal you asshole.

  • @Dalekfry Wow.  I see now that I have underestimated your conversational aptitude. You're too much of an opponent for me. Do you realise that the comments on your channel read like the scribblings of a fucking pedophile serial killer in the making? I'm considering submitting them for medical study.

  • Okay Connery is the best Bond. Will you fuck off now?  I don't know what you want.

  • @Dalekfry Comments are allowed on my channel so you might want to post your biting witticisms against me there where everyone can see how much you're making me look like inferior forever!!! I have it coming! =/ Don't hold back. I deserve every intelligible and inslightful word!! I've no idea why I'm so worthy of your ire you wouldn't start shouting insane gibberish at a stranger for no reason would you???? I mean, you're not a fucking drooling mong are you??? OF COURSE NOT! =D

  • @EvilStreaks I can understand I have given you the impression that I am stoopid but dat dont mean dat u shud b making ur sarcasam so obvious. srsly tho i dont read most of ur stuff, u no why? cos i know what there gonna say, there gonna say BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH I THINK IM BETTER THAN U LOL! that's what I see. cos i have a rare medical condition it's claled seeing da truth. stay away from me and perhpas u might catch it i doubt it thou.

  • @Dalekfry I've argued with youtube people before and I know it gets you nowhere but I'm enjoying this one. But okay, I'll stop being scarcastic. Let's review. I posted a harmless comment about my favourite Bond (not that I'm much of a fan). And a harmless joke about Mitchell being a facist which I'm sure he'd understand is harmless. Then suddenly I get a comment from someone ranting about me being an arsehole. I think you need therapy and soon. I do, however, think I'm probably better than you.

  • @Dalekfry By the way. I don't think I'm better than everyone. I mean EVERYONE is better than you. You can stop being like that any time you like by not ranting illegiable abuse at random strangers for no fucking reason. I hope you actually understand this because I am now genuinely worried that I'm arguing with someone with real mental problems, in which case I am crossing the line.

  • @EvilStreaks How about I cross a line by stopping replying to yoru posts cos it's boring and a waste of my life.

  • YEAHHH!!! cadbury dairy milk! so true<3

  • Best chocolate is Cadbury's Dairy Milk? Respectfully: you're talking out of your arse.

    Visit Australia and I shall take you to Haigh's, where God himself is the chocolatier. Or Satan, if you believe my wife and all her girlfriends who think they're fat because they're a little less tiny than tiny little fucking Miranda tiny fucking tiny little Kerr. And for god's sake don't get me started on her wet sock of a husband.

    Oh, right, chocolate! Haigh's. Eat it and hush.

  • @mandrellian Haigh's is indeed beeter than any Cadbury shit. Cadbury chocolate isn't real chocolate.

  • I am finding these less and less enjoyable

  • @Sheerravenbliss dont watch then

  • @samsung54369 I never thought of that. Thanks for the advice.

  • @Sheerravenbliss lolwut? thanks a bunch for sharing ur super gay opinion. im sure somebody, somewhere in da word thinks ur entitled to ur own faggy opinion. i justt think they may have died 10000000000000000000000 years ago and b a particle of dust you massive cunt.

  • The Top Hat is clearly the best game piece. I don't even know how you could argue that.

  • Comment removed

  • Weirdly, I agree with everything that Mr. Finnemore says. Except for the chocolate, David's right on that one :P

  • Islam? Well who knew...

  • Pierce Brosnan is definetley the best James Bond! Anyone who has seen die another day knows that.

  • Dairy Milk is disgusting.

    Yes cream doesn't spread as easily as jam, but that's why it should go on first. Spread the cream first, the cream is now solid enough to spread jam on because jam is easily spreadable. Cream, which is more solid and difficult to spread, could not be spread on jam.

    These soap boxes are getting too bitter, humourless and worst of all wrong.

  • How very odd, every time I download this from itunes, it just gives me the old quiz video :(

  • I'm with Pierce!

  • Vaws is definitely a thing! Our family tradition is to refer to 'the vase, vahs or vaws'. Which makes the discussion longer, but offers a choice.

  • @wnesbitt1 and as David so rightly pointed out, is totally wrong, weren´t you watching?

  • @yatter1 Watching AND listening. Still doesn't change anything. Vaws is still a thing, as all right thinking people know.

  • @wnesbitt1 Vaws is a thing if you mean it´s a record label, you can´t put flowers in one.

  • @yatter1 Mmm. I can tell this is really important to you. So whatever you say, and hope that fulfilling life you're still waiting to fulfil works out!

  • @wnesbitt1 you patronising prick, you replied to me, fuck you.

  • I wasn't expecting the Iron I must say. It pleases me to know I have the same taste in Bond, Chocolate and (necessary) scone spreading as David however. Vase was a no brainer.

  • Wow... I thought I was a fan of David Mitchell, but (with the exception of Pierce Brosnan) I apparently agree with John Finnemore about EVERYTHING.

    And I'll just have to give him the benefit of the doubt on Vawz.

  • No actually, I genuinely like Roger Moore....more.

  • I don't know who paid him to say Islam, but the correct answer was that all religions are wrong.

  • 'The iron, because I'm a feminist'? That's like saying 'the golly doll*, because I'm not a racist'.

    I now dislike David Mitchell a bit. Never thought I'd say that...

    *Or whatever the hell those things were called...before my time really.

  • @TheOtherDODsChannel

    I'm not sure what you're saying. He's choosing the iron to prove that it isn't the women who choose the iron and that it is not emasculating to use or choose an iron as a man.But then he's also saying ironically to highlight the fact that there should be no need to choose it as it is a non issue. I see no problem with that.

  • @muffin8or Maybe. It just annoys me that irons *are* often associated with women by default, and I might have had a knee-jerk to that as a result :)

  • I still say Timothy Dalton was the best Bond. Call me weird if you like, but that's my opinion and I'm sticking with it.

  • @ignoranceandcrisps You´re weird

  • Every single question right!

    Fuck jam, cream's better anyway.

  • This is the very best so far!

    But I wish David can stick to his lovely black trousers.

  • John Finnemore's answers are the actual correct answers, except for Q1, where David is right.

  • I got 3/7.

    I don't think that's too bad considering he cheated on the fairy and monolopy questions.

  • Vorse is indeed the way we say vase in Dorset!!

  • There was a BEARD here. It's gone now.

  • @digitalbath3

    I honestly did not expect a Silent Hill joke here, and you made my evening with it. xD

  • thats stupid if your going to put up a fairy you might aswell put up anything

  • His name is Robert Portman

  • I have two sets of Monopoly (one was my Mum's, which is technically still hers, one was Dad's which I have inherited) they both have the gold ships and no stupid dog/hat/etc.

    This has given me a sense of pride, ta.

  • That was genuinely hilarious.

  • lol, almost all of these are opinions :P

  • Noooo!!!...

    The beard has gone :/

    well it's good to have him back to normal I guess. First he was looking very bald, then bearded and now David <3

  • Oh no! An inquisitive Douglas Fir!

  • Islam... Ughhhhhhhhhhhh

  • I always use the top hat, myself.