The Chronicles of Chris-chan: Hell yeah he's the Motherfucking Princess [7/25/09]

[smile221]

Oh my god...."You can do so much better" *photo of normal looking dude is replaced by chris-chan*

He seriously thinks that single girls have a reason to like him

[splashdream15]

Looks like someone is forever alone

[DrMarilynFan]

@1:04 is dat sum Boxxy on the left I see?

[LOCUSTHATER666]

Behold the worst singer since Rebecca Black everyone...

[Chareater]

those bouncing man boobs...

[GoblinsnHobbits]

Stop singing to women, chris. We'd like to date them instead of have you make their vaginas sew themselves shut.

[BoukenCrimson]

11 women turned into lesbians because of this video.

[rnigma]

2:44 - Dinsdale? Dinsdale?

[ToviaPicoru]

Notice how Chris has to change wardrobe 10 times.

[Chareater]

@ToviaPicoru I guess his shirts got too sweaty from standing up

[ToviaPicoru]

@Chareater I guess you're right. xD

[Zest4Death]

Holy shit! Why did you put a picture of Megan up there Chris...OMG just... Leave her alone already! How can one man be so goddamn clueless about the amount of creepiness he exudes??

[SteveeAlbino]

God there's something majorly lovecraftion about this...

[Wolfsrain90]

Maker help us all.

[DeSnubbehez]

Keep dancing minion!

Perhaps empress Feferi shall grant you another tater tot!

[porkwilliam]

dance fatman, dance!

[MrToastOmnomnom]

God hates a lot of stuff.

[BoukenCrimson]

So Chris doesn't want just one woman, he wants all women?

[TailsFan23]

The moment this started playing I think I heard my dad vomit in the other room.

:|

[BoukenCrimson]

God, this is disturbing.

[OrangeTealSky]

omg.

[metalgodaragona1986]

Someone better make a human centipede out of Chris

[PowerPenguin866]

@metalgodaragona1986 ...at the very back of the chain.

[WinAFreeAppleIPod]

Are there any pictures of Kacey? Real ones??

[subhumanmaster]

So Ivy died due to being unable to be with chris? it' must be a very pathetic existence if chris chan is the only thing to live for.

[VZMkII]

What song is this?

[JonesL86]

@VZMkII

No idea but he has killed it

[VZMkII]

@JonesL86

I found it. It's an Avril Lavigne "Girlfriend".

[sikokilla1234]

What the hell did I just watch...

[Jensenlolman]

@sikokilla1234 cancer... fucking cancer

[sikokilla1234]

@Jensenlolman I think my penis just hung itself :o

[KiraShikaku]

I like how near 3:00 where he say "I can be your boyfriend" the chorus is "NO WAY! NO WAY!"

[SNESosT]

0:18 OMG THATS SO CREEPY. He has a pic of her!?

[Cassandrabellex]

Of course he dislikes girl on girl. It gets in the way of him getting china.

[AlanSmithee06]

DON'T WATCH ALL OF THIS VIDEO! If you do, at the end he crawls through your monitor and, well, actually he's really easy to beat up and throw back in. But srsly! Don't do it!

[tunatallica]

a young marcus bachman

[sauske772]

@tunatallica I think I love you for that.

[videogamenostalgia]

Watch from 1.50-2.13, and remind yourself that this man is almost 30...

[ReggaeMetalFox]

"You need to stay straight, girl"... Even if I was the straightest, most man-loving girl on earth, I would rather date another girl than so much as touch Chris-chan XD

[SavageBlink]

If i had ever did anything this pathetic/embarissing I would fucking kill myself. The sad thing is Chris Chain probibly cant even do that right. This a disgrace to mankind and this abomanation <-- ( Chris Chan) should'nt have ever been born.

[TheSkunkCat]

Chris actually dances slightly better then he does most things, but he still sucks at that too.

[jordanturner97]

there is blood in my ears. HELP!

[UndeadPotato]

@DrDerpify ...I'm pretty sure the book of revelations says something about it. But, whatever, it doesn't matter that much to me.

[Cornwiggle]

@DrDerpify

Fun fact: Anyone who takes anything the "Bible" says in it to heart has severe mental problems on par with Chris himself.

[iNvictaStudios]

Singstar rated his singing -36%

[GlobstersMessenger]

heterosexuality is overrated

[RandomPerson616]

If Avril Lavigne sued Chris for copyright infringement, I would laugh.

[thebossqueene]

I'm the motherfucking prince, man.

[444Tazer]

This is depressing, especially when he starts saying "girlfriend" instead of his own lyric change.

[KiraShake]

Sorry. I don't go for people who have a bigger cup size than me.

[carcrash714]

Hey bro you make my pussy wet. Can I see your pepperoni tits?

[Kellox17]

God hates girl on girl, but God is totally okay with a young girl, marrying a homophobic racist bastard, who demands the woman to work while he does nothing but play video games with hermoney, She has to cook, bare his daughter and take care of him. While he becomes more fatter with his sloth. At the same time, drawing porn drawings of hedgehogs and threatens to kill people over the Internet. MAKES SENSE.

[BIG10717]

@Kellox17 Thenk you ever one here just think's he's a nice guy but if he get's the chance to rape some one he will take it.

[Athils]

@Kellox17 Every village needs an idiot. Chris just happens to hold the distinction of "global village idiot."

[jballen90]

@Kellox17 Sounds legit.

[crazyguy1913]

This would make a girl a lesbian right?

[14anddpregnant]

he's not gay, not at all.

[FFS1NICO]

well, in some fucked up way chris is addictive. i can't stop watching him even tho i know it slowly ruins me.

[Colddirector]

@FFS1NICO Join the club, Chris has a legi0n of followers obsessed with his crazy antics and bizarre behaviour.

(cwatididthar?)

[WilliamTrashOfficial]

2:05

He looks more like a neanderthal than usual. I did not think that was possible.

[mrbob091]

@WilliamTrashOfficial I thought he looked like a mad pensioner there.

[beccawashere45]

0:24 that's a pretty good drawing. Chris didn't do it right?

[Piersmaru]

@beccawashere45 of course not

[44ch1m]

I think some of these pictures are shooped. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shoops in my time

[FFS1NICO]

this video turns women gay- FACT.

[Killerthewolfdog]

@FFS1NICO That's... actually true... XD

[LuckyPlasticCandy]

I'm not very up to date on the happenings of Chris-Chan but did someone actually kill themselves? I thought we (we, being the internet) found out Ivy was a troll. Or is he acting like she killed herself because she isn't real? Someone please explain!

[videogamenostalgia]

2.05

This man is 29

29

Twenty nine

Twenty fucking nine

[FFS1NICO]

@videogamenostalgia and he still has a potential as a lulz spring. incredible.

[lesterclaypool1]

@videogamenostalgia

And he has some seriously saggy man tits.

[Hariuka]

I love when he dances and cries at the same time, it makes me feel like he is being forced to dance for our entertainment and it bothers him. I love it!

[xerovids]

hells yeah i'm the motherfucking prince-man

[Athils]

My cat flips shit whenever he "sings."

It's funny, she's usually so shy and quiet.

[NeoSquadillah]

with videos like this i wonder how chris' insanity hasn't become a mainstream phenomenon

[Aerozyphyr]

transcribe audio for more hilarity.:D

[kirbyfan4]

0:37 jesus his fist is bigget than his head.

[leeham991]

Funnily enough this is the most in tune Chris has ever managed for a song, ever.

Ever.

[xxScenePalkiaxx]

oooh chrissy im a lezbo me and my friend took a pic together at school im such a lez. What a fucking homophobe and he thinks two girls posing together is lesbian? so if i pose with my older sis does that mean im lez?! /facepalm

[ShadicoTheHedgehog]

THE FUCK

[TAXEXEMPTION]

he really wrote 'stay straight' i lol'd. he's the only 'straight man' i can think of that would probably be turned off by lesbians kissing.

[Smashsista16]

@TAXEXEMPTION

I heard that he actually finds lesbians hot, its just guy on guy he hates

[BoukenCrimson]

@Smashsista16 He says he hates guy on guy, but remember, Chris has major issues with his sexuality. For all we know, he may fap to gay porn every night.

[Killerthewolfdog]

@Smashsista16 .... don't Lesbians take the cute girls like straight men do? Isn't that why Chris doen't like other men? XD

[johntheant]

0:09 he stands there for like a couple seconds of denile

[sexhaie]

im not fat but chris is the reason im fasting right now...

[ErikaAtheist]

Upon seeing this, 5000 attractive women ran towards his house. Sadly they never arrived because that would never happen.

[dicksissle]

Im so glad he exists :D

[PsTwoKnight]

Unfortunately Chris, we can only pay you for your performance in popcorn shrimp.....

[MrDonkeydong155]

Okay I'm seriously starting to think that this guy is some sorta comedian actor. There's no way in hell that he could be that damn funny.

[dxjrules5]

Give him credit, at least he knows how to edit in this this one.

[captainghey]

2:07 the drums

i just died laughing

[MasterofPirates]

The chorus was just beautiful.

[NurseNekoNeko]

1:21

you can tell all that shaking is making him tired

[96bcrs]

WHAT THE? DID HE DRAW THE PICTURE AT 0:23?

[mew2226]

@96bcrs No he didn't XD

[96bcrs]

@mew2226 oh, ok

[videogamenostalgia]

Does this guy do children's parties?

[FFS1NICO]

@videogamenostalgia yes he does children.

[NurseNekoNeko]

@videogamenostalgia

he is only called if the parents hate there kids or want to teach them a lesson

[ColonelLarfleeze]

@videogamenostalgia I wouldn't leave him around a kid if were you, sir.

[TheChaoticGood]

Here we have a sad example of life.

[lenneth3]

hahahahahahah SON IM DISSAPOINTED!

[Kamikitsune0]

This video along shows how little Chris actually thinks of women as women... he just wants the pussy. He uses the pictures of more than just one girl, so he doesn't care who his girlfriend is so long as she puts out..and of course it has to be sometime during the first 3 dates or it's a no-go for him.

[Canny911]

I would give all of the money I have in my checking account RIGHT NOW, just to punch Chris in the face, as hard as I could, ONE TIME. Alright, that's a lie. Hmm. Okay, I would give all the money I have in my penny jar, just to ... no, wait because there's like 30 bucks in there. Shit. Um. Okay okay. I would give all the loose change in my pocket ... you know what I don't want to give anything away, I just want to punch this guy in the face as hard I could one time.

[MahBoi22]

I'm so fucking glad I'm a lesbian.

[boitahaki]

@MahBoi22 you are also a freak furry attention whore

[grantasas]

Oh yeah, he's perfectly straight.

/EndSarcasm

[areeb10000]

Does everything he draw have elephantitis?

[jallen95]

"I am straight! And now I'll prove it by singing shitty girl-punk."

[Kzierbold]

@jallen95

>avril lavigne

>punk

Hold on a minute there, partner...

[MountAnalogue]

@jallen95

avril lavigne isn't punk dipshit haha

[AkamuSlayer]

Chris being tone deaf doesn't make this any more bearable.

Why do i put myself through this?

[AkamuSlayer]

wellp, there goes my erection

[stuffnthat12]

When i feel like a loser, i watch this mockery of a human being on youtube

[Shavarnarak]

Chris is the Prince(ss) of Retardia.

[imelroy]

I vomited.

[daspaz18]

so gay

[videogamenostalgia]

Got a boner in an inappropriate situation? I'm gonna prescribe you 10 seconds of this video.

[GoWeegee]

@videogamenostalgia

Thanks for this Boner-Kill medicine Dr. VGN!

[videogamenostalgia]

@GoWeegee No problem. You'll have to come in next week though. The medicine has some side effects. I have some bad news for you- you'll never have a boner again.

[GoWeegee]

@videogamenostalgia

Oh shit, nooooooooooo!

[SZF123456]

@videogamenostalgia Oh my God, doctor, I'm getting these suicidal impulses after using your prescription. Make it quick.

[ZOMGDUDEWTFBBQ]

So Chris loves God. According to Chris and his beliefs, God is directly responsible for everything. So this must mean that God gave him: Autism A horrible and deplorable personality Extreme Laziness A 3 inch L shaped penis His inability to move out of his parents house 30 year virginity No talents whatsoever, despite what Chris believes due to his ridiculous unwarranted ego His increasing baldness His fatness and general disgusting appearance Gullibility which has lead to complete humiliation

[DarkRoseTheVampwolf]

not only did he ruin avril,but hes insulting a relationship,harassing 3-4 women and drinks his own semen,Jesus please kill him somehow and ill be christian again..amen XD

[EltBerserker]

1:29

"I can see the way you look at me- (cuts to Bob Chandler's face)"

Oh god chris.... WHAT ARE YOU EVEN THINKING!??!?!?

[TheVentriloHarasser]

Hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaa

[halowarrior1000]

I may have heard this song over the radio but all the fuck ups he makes in the song Even I could sing it better if I was forced to.

[DarkRoseTheVampwolf]

fucking asshole!!! homophobic son of a bitch if i ever met him in real life I'd kick him so hard between the legs he'd never be able to have kids!!! >:c thats so messed up of him!! i mean dude if she doesn't want your chubby,hairy milkshake then fuck off!! Jesus no need to insult every bi/lez person out there!!

[EltBerserker]

I can imagine, when Snorlax or Lumberjack croaks, Chris Chan singing this song at their funeral as a 'memorial'

[sasuke2ndstate98]

disturbing

[mechaart]

the girls he thinks of falling in love with are tooo out of his league (or wayyyy out of his leage) for that matter XD.

[fightingirishaholic]

oh man all that time on rockband/guitarhero and chris'll probably beat me....oh wait nevermind i can play a real instrument XD

[supersonicman96]

yea, he wants a boyfriend alright

[SoopySnoopy]

When he's jumping he's like: the bra isn't workin on me, ow the bouncing pain.

[soilwork121]

Damn, looks like that "dancing" is wearing poor Chrissy out. Damn fatass.

[RaycxellTorres]

i think some of my brain cells just died

[G1MRG]

two words: ear rape.

[BudgetBachelorChow]

*Head Explodes*

[BlockishMark86]

Chris Chan fails in every way, first off, he holds a PS3 conTROLLer in almost every video and begins almost every video with "captains log star date etc".

[IRAwEsOmE]

Just imagine for one moment what Chris would be like if Bob and Sorlax weren't there to somewhat shelter him.

[maswellasm]

Yuck. Where the fuck did he get these pictures of these poor women? What a creep. Also, I like how this is supposed to be a memorial video to Ivy. What better way to honor your dead (albeit fake) fiancee than make a video lusting over girls who are way out of your league to a crappy Avril song? Always the gentleman, Chris. OH and WTF is picture of BOB doing in this, esp. at the part about 'thinking about me when I'm gone' or whatever? NVM, I don't wanna know.

[handmiadenofgod]

Stay straight guys!

[SuperPokeify]

0:56

The fact that he actually did this creeps me the fuck out.

[ghettoprince187]

"I'm the motherfucking prince man!" O_o.....don't....you....ever..­..EVER! Compare yourself to Prince, Chris...NEVER AGAIN!

[FoxyMamaRox]

@ghettoprince187 LOL XD TELL HIM!! WOO!

[YepImBisexual]

That was the most disturbing 3minutes and 35seconds of my life..

[ilikemunting]

this is fuked up,,,,,

[Carnage1235]

"Girl on girl, God hates that. Stay straight".

Uh, I'm pretty sure the person on the right is fucking male.

[Visser0x]

ಠ_ಠ ivy is dead and the world fucking spins again.

[CaptainOlimar247]

He doesn't sing so much as just talking in rhythm. XD

To think, this guy thinks he's up with the likes of John Lennon & Freddie Mercury.

[vaguelyhumanoid]

@CaptainOlimar247

Freddie Mercury... too true, man!

But not for his voice... *smirks*

[Hightower2804TP]

3 Minutes and 35 seconds taken from my lifetime

F$?CK YOU

[LordBababa1]

I would tap that

[vaguelyhumanoid]

@LordBababa1

Who wouldn't?

...other than every female on earth, lol.

[vxskud]

i spilled my water all over my desk lol'n at this

[gomezf87]

I wanna bomb his fucking house.

[KefkaJr]

I'm kind of jealous that he has the energy and nerve to make this video, while all my creative endeavors remain unfinished.

[LinkMyBoy]

Why the fuck doesnt he just get an eleventeen dollar an hour dumsterslut? Im sure his parents would chip in some cash just to stop this shit, and hopefully let him catch something that ends his life quicker than his handicap.

[ToruKun1]

@LinkMyBoy

Because he doesn't just want someone to fuck, he wants a sugar-mommy to take care of him and coddle him (since his IRL mom Snorlax is getting on in years), a troll once sent a bunch of hookers to his house on his birthday and he cried. XD

[LinkMyBoy]

@ToruKun1 Well thanks for commenting, and making me have to endure this crap again.

[ToruKun1]

@LinkMyBoy

LOL, my pleasure. :p

....but you DO know that you can just bypass the awful, awful, AWFUL video and reply to my post, right? (or do you just want to wash your hands (THOROUGHLY) of Chris-chan?) XD

[TrustabilityLost]

Sorry Chris, but I like being lesbian.

:B No advice taken thanks.

He's scary as shit. Never will he ever get a woman for reals |D

[alexo124]

somebody put him out of his misery and kill him

[90sHeroMAXD]

Why the fuck did he make the Monty Python reference(Dinsdale)

[VelLucio]

Looks like Chris is possessed with all jumping and flopping with his arms.

[ryubaks]

This proves that there is no god.

[GodOfDragonBallZ]

3:01 JULAY!

[Pacmanghost]

The song he's singing over is a cover of a song that had the same lyrics he's singing over the song.

So why does he choose the Avril Lavine version?

[cropanimationstm]

It's a better version of the song imo.

[SoopySnoopy]

Slappity boobies from a fatass.1:48