Bulimia; The Real Life Horror Movie!

[tiraandroid181]

que bien q usted dice que ya se recupero, usted es un chico muy atractivo como para dejarse morir por eso

[AnaGirlEmpath]

@antrewt:

Please make this video available on mobile! :)

[tiraandroid181]

@AnaGirlEmpath

ve a filsh.net

ahi copias el link y le pones en formato 3gp q es para celular movil, y se convierte para que lo puedas ver ahi

[Sommer89014]

Soooo emo...

[adammicheal100]

this is the most true depiction of bulimia and its frantic nature on youtube.

[antrewt]

Thanks Tachel - I am much better now, but it is really hard to claim to be recovery absolulely. For some time I've been in much better, usually total control over things like food - but not to the extent that I am over all the thoughts and temtations of that way of thinking/being. At the moment I'm writing for Uni, a blog and other things, which I cold probably claim little or no improvment. Anyways, it's so early I cannot even proof read this sentense! Forgive me. Many thanks Aaron

[elsoehead]

You know you're bulimic when...

you see this video and despite the sadness you feel, you are jealous of his ability to purge without hands.

[ClythiaMystica]

there is no way out. we are trapped in a deep hole and we cannot get out. no one will ever understand how we feel. we are uncurable. they try to help us but they will never fix what is broken

this is my life

[rihannawillowlover]

OMFG SO GROSS AND ITS REALLY SAD , HOPE YOU RECOVER WHY DO PPL REALLY DO THIS TO THEMSELVES !!

[iwannabecoco]

Just wanted to say how touched I was by your video. I don't suffer from bullimia, but I'm nearly certain I will. I have actually tried to purge, but I can't do it. This meant I could think about it, and your video helped.

[xxrosiex]

This video actually makes me want to cry. I don't suffer with this (never could as I am phobic of vomit!) but it makes me so sad to think there are so many people in the world who suffer in complete silence from this. Thankyou for putting this on here, you're a very brave man.

[Cheetapard]

i' want all the bitches who glamorize eating disorders to see this video. this is not a lifestyle. this is pure hell.

i can't even imagine to film myself while b/p and then even look at it afterward. i think that was really brave of you. i hope you are doing well.

[moccactus]

WOoo... I don't know what to say. I'm not into commenting videos but yours was like a big punch in the face. I suffer from bulimia and anorexia and my life became an endless hell three years ago and your video is the only thing that made me think about a little bit of hope... in a creepy kind of way. Don't take it bad, that's just that I saw how I could look like in those fuckin' moments.

Thanx A LOT and I hope you feel better now, you get rid off this shit.

(sorry for my english, I'm french :S)

[antrewt]

Thanks! I'm really glad you see it that way - and thanks for the ad.

Aaron

[NeverPerfect100]

I wish i had done this - just as a way to show myself how ill i was , maybe it could keep me on track getting help , i hope you're doing well x

[ItsJustNervosa]

I know what its like to be there man, I'm still there, though trying to get out of it, though slowly. Even though you said you were high while making this, its still takes a lot of guts to put this out there. and i read in the comments that you've tried to recover, and i wish you all the best. this is a sad, lonely and terrible disease we're dealing with.

[zarahlina]

So sad.. :(

[lillm2010]

hi andrewt i wondered how ur doing now?....this video shocked the hell oputta me cos its just like me...weeed fooood tiolet up to 10 times a night its hell!!!!!!!!!!! x

[OMGKacyKupcake]

How do you make yourself sick like that...

[Ohannimal]

@OMGKacyKupcake Two fingers, push them to the back of your throat. Not just into your mouth but try actually getting them in your throat. You choke back up all that you've eaten.

[Cherry4487]

@Ohannimal look dude i have had bulimia and am recovered..get help but DONT put this on youtube..its not fair to portray this to someone who is not ill

[Cherry4487]

@OMGKacyKupcake get help dnt post this on here..its not fair to others

[OMGKacyKupcake]

@Cherry4487 i can post what i want and i dont want help so shut up.

[MultiRawe]

Now i know why guys are so skinny now a days :]

[selectrentals]

i understand if you dont want to answer this, but how did it start for you? was it an accident?

[hairbrush99]

This has to be the most fucked up thing I've ever seen. More so because this is clearly what I look like.

Hope you've gotten help x

[JuJuwmlbws]

I'm sick, but you are sicker than me! Stand up, and fight! we can do it! you are not alone!

[4melimeli]

SEnd you all my love and support

[toothmarkedhands]

I can't believe I look like this when I purge. This might have been what I needed to make me realize just how sick I am, and how out of control my bulimia is.

[ozfizz]

My heart is hurting for you right now. Mostly because this video is the raw truth of bulimia hell; impossible to understand fo outsiders and a miserable sick cycle of hell/heaven for the sufferer. This is me. I hope so much that you are doing better.

[cutebutterfly09]

very disturbing....im sorry but how did you throw up without using your fingers? if only it was that easy! you shouldnt make bulimia look so easy and fucked up! no one understands and putting a video up like this??? its a shame!

[pardomauri]

I have been there. My life was a hell from 1996 to 2007.

I almost die.

[courtneyxconformity]

hey gorgeous. Hope you are recovering well. You are very brave for posting this. feel free to message me if you need as i am in recovery too. :)

[Fandris01]

your a freak, and dont deserve life. :)

[kikikinko]

You.. Little shit!!!!!! =\ You know what.. Go to hell. Lil fucker.. Ppl like you messin' with ppl.. Ur a bitch! And nobody cares about you!!! You're grow old and die ALONE. Meet you in Hell.

[Fandris01]

I think what you said is worse, and your lack of common english amuses me. Please, sir, keep up your sentence structure, because i'm sure it will get you somewhere.

[kikikinko]

You know what, my english is fine. I just thought it would be more insulting to use your language.

[viannafin]

You really deserve better than living a horror movie like this. Strength and luck to you.

[donttrustjamie]

You are brave for posting this. I could never film myself doing this...let alone post it. I hope you are doing okay.

[sinfulxthin]

bulimia's quite the bitch ain't it.

[shedfz2]

i love your video...AMAZING

[sweetbayybe123456]

I Hate Models,

They Show People What They Are And What We Aren't.

Normal People Wouldnt Get Bothered By It Or Wouldnt Go Bulimic.

I Wish I Was Normal.

Im 12 Years Old And I Am Bulimic.

[MissCuttie84]

I know what I feels like... I've suffered from Bulimia for 18 years. I'm going to post that video on my blog. It just tells the truth... You did a great job with it.

[beautyintheskies]

i love this song. it's so creepy and awesome but who sings it? what version is it?

[antrewt]

It is creepy and awesome! I used to play it full blast with all the lights off, everything dark and black! Its PJ Harvey, the songs man sized sexet, and the album is Rid of Me. All the other songs are guitar tracks; it is a bleak, pathological, menicing album and I highly recommend it.

[DanielaKup]

hi ya I have a case of bulimia: do you know that your stomac can explode???

think about this

[littpleapple]

love to you... xx

[animasatsuki1988]

....

just.. wanted to

give you a *hug*

[LOV3RGIRLZ]

how'd you do it with out your finger? srsly

[elliebell1000]

btw....EWWIE!

[elliebell1000]

wow..u were stoned...and make urself throw up...ewwie...well i souldnt say anything

[lilmissemo09]

This nearly made me cry :/ you never really think about it, but its really upsetting when you see this happening to somebody, you didnt deserve this :( well done for recovering, that was a huge achievement :) xxx

[xAllThingsAnimex]

great video

[shadowofcourage]

this is one of the saddest things i've ever seen.. i really hope you fight through it.

[antrewt]

Thabks Shadowofcourage - I don't know why but yr comment really moved me. I think its 'cus I recovered up until recently, and looked back on how ill I was with huge pitty. Now Christmas is comming, and like every year, for reasons I don't understand its back again. So I was feeling a bit shit; and its really nice for someone to recognize that it is sad. xxx

[timetopretenddd]

watching this is like watching myself for the first time. only i need to use my fingers which sucks- i wish i could be like you. or better, not be like this at all.

[merman1218]

Uhmmm , ewh.

[darknesskittie]

Wow I never hear that I boy/men

have bulimia

really sick

I hope you came out from your

eating disorder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[BadHabitPsycho]

That was a fantastic, and yet so sick movie!!! I'm trying to recover from bulimia...

[chivasboii]

this is nasty jajajaj

[vickychou100]

IT'S ART.LIKE Jackson Pollock.

[timetopretenddd]

Sometimes I wish that I were out of school and lived alone so I could just do this, be alone and purge tons and tons of food. It's sick, but I envy you- not needing to use your fingers, being alone during this, etc. I know I shouldn't want this (and I don't exactly) but I feel like my life would be so much better if I could just throw up instantaneously, without having to reserve 15 minutes (or do it in the shower so no one hears). It makes me feel even worse.

Are you in recovery? I hope you are

[oxymore17]

I'm french and i live exactly the same thing! I began 2 years ago and I can't stop throwing up. My family is unable to help me, so i'm sad all the time. I felt less lonely when I saw this movie...

[Sputnickie]

@oxymore17 - why did you start?

[oxymore17]

I don't really know...but when I began to become strange with foods, it was when my parents were divorcing

[IRKitty4]

its water, does noone else see hes just spitting out water, its as if your takin the piss =(

[CullenBlood1]

water isnt brown with chunks in it.

[IRKitty4]

look, around 1.35ish, its water. as someone who has to throw up everything, even salad ffs, i know what sick looks like by now

[fadingimperfection]

i feel less alone... but still as if im not trying hard enough.

i really hope you're ok now.

thanks for the vid x

[jackpickman]

dude i remeber these moments im so glad i am not as bad as this....... i didnt think i had improved that much... shit ........ hope ur recovering too. take it easy JAMIE

[justagirl166]

You must of being doing it for a while, to do non induced vomiting, Your really lucky! I've had bulimia for 3 years and I'm still sticking my fingers down my throat....I'd love to just bend and throw up!!!!

Its refreshing to see a male. x

[Pine90Apple]

has anyone hear fully recovered from bulimia? - need to know that its possible, dont have much hope atm =(

also, I have that chair!! 4 of them. theyre not v.comfy... we got them cheap.... nothing to do with anything sos...

anyone recovered??? please?

[TheOneAndOnlyMe92]

pine90apple: I'm a recovered bulimic. it IS possible if you believe in yourself. the first few weeks are hard but afterwards you slowly get used to not purging after eating. Good luck x

[Pine90Apple]

Thank-you. im getting better. I think. I just sometimes feel like im never going to be totally free from this. =(

congrats on recovery. hope ur doing well xx

[TheOneAndOnlyMe92]

You're welcome If you ever need someone to talk to who knows this well then always feel free to mail me, I will reply.x

Just need to stay strong, Like I said, anything is possible if you believe in it xx

[Sputnickie]

@Pine90Apple - why did you start?

[Pine90Apple]

complicated. i think mainly I did/do it as a relief from depression.

[Sputnickie]

@Pine90Apple but I release by singing or dancing or running isn't that better than hurting yourself?

[Pine90Apple]

I was depressed. I never had any energy, I used to tell myself that I deserved nothing good. At first I saw SH and the binge eating as a self punishment for being me. but I think I just became addicted to it, dependent on it. hard to describe/explain really...

you are right, what u do is much better than hurting yourself.

[Sputnickie]

Why would you make yourself feel so bad? Did someone say something that made you start believe them and do this or what?

[carmensita2332]

WOW! Yes this is like a view into my life :( I have no control over it anymore, it controls me completely and i just have no idea wat to do anymore ... Its always nice to know there r others out there experiencing the craziness too :(

[badass6978]

watching this video, its like looking at myself. i am in this full blown and have been for 5 years. its a struggle everyday. some days better than others. it can be overcome, i hope. i wish you the best and hope that you can overcome this thing because its scary.

[walktowardsthelight2]

I really think this would be a good awareness video of the pain and torture this disease puts you through. Thanks for uploading, it is a little freaky. Kind of triggering, but I'm in a much better place than I used to be with mine. when i'm better, I'm posting a recoverED video.

xxx

Hannah

[libertine00]

i feel less despair though i know bulimia is an effect of it, knowing for certain someone else is puking right now, because soon it'll be me again.......anyway, hugs

[twigggie]

awesome song, wish you the best.

[sratrat78]

I used to struggle mainly with restricting but over the past couple months every night has turned into bingeing and purging. I do it into trash bags in my room and it sits there for days until no one is home so I can take it out. Its so disgusting but so hard to stop. This video is quite disturbing but its real.Love the music btw

[pafpaf666]

Antrewt, have you get some professional (psychologist or any therapy) supports since then? Like you<ve said in another video, it<s almost impossible to overcome that disorder without help. I<m struggling with bulimia and I understand that it<s much more complex than just eating and puke after. We can stop doing binge and eat normally but the real problem isn<t solve yet. I wish you all the good luck to get out of that shit cuz it<s sooo helpless.

[kissmeintherainsam]

You can do it. You just have to believe you can and not give up. Kick that disorder's butt. =)

[bethyBETCH]

ive been bulimic for almost two years now, it sucks, looking at you puke reminds me of how gross it is to do it 4 or 5 times a day every day for years in my case... i hope you get better

[prettyxplease80]

i know what your going through. i feel ya.

[imcyan]

Thanks.I love your honesty. There are so many "Beautiful" bulimia movies trying to get people's sympathy. As a bulimia girl, I'm fucked up with watching such a craps. Yeah, if you are binge eater, face it. That what You and I am doing!!!

[HiddenFormula]

I'm 3-4 months into this horrible way of life & it's destroying my body and mind yet I still keep slipping up & each slip up just knocks me 10ft lower.

I wish I could trust myself to have control over this & not let it control me but the routines are so ingrained already it's hard to accept that I can ever completely get over this.

As a male it is reassuring to find others being open about such a personal problem & it gives me hope to see that you are currently on top of it atm. Good luck!!!

[crankdatfatcat]

you can and will overcome it.

[antrewt]

You hang in there too casasie; I'm actually on top of the bulimia now, and I've been in you're situation feeling like its impossible to break loose from the grip; but you can, I promise. xxx

[casanasie]

thanks. i sure hope so.

[casanasie]

very unfortunatly...i know what you are goin through....im on that path and it sux...but for some reason. i cant seem to stop no matter how BADLY i want to stop.

hang in there.

[antrewt]

Hey Kokema, thanks for yr message. I'm glad to say I'm not binging/purging at the moment - these were from when I was; but this 'trick' of auto-puking; it is the worst thing in the world. For a time it makes bulimia easier, but purging becomes more effective and the binging massively increases as a result. Fuck, I'm not out of the woods yet; but after 4 years I'm about as near as I've been. Its a fucking horrible illness innit? Words can't express how shit it is.

[kokema1]

Pretty raw. Been there. Just haven't seen a guy be so raw about it. I know you will only seek recovery when you are ready. But that wonderful "trick" you are doing in not having to use your fingers to purge, is probably gonna result in some cruel acid reflux once you are better. I say this only because I'm dealing with it. And this is after 8 years in recovery. I live on antacids and it's not pretty at night when fluids sometimes just come up and through my nose. I hope you find a way out.

[YIPPPYSKIPPY]

WOW brilliantly done

[antrewt]

The upper oesophagal muscle had warn down enough after about a year of daily purging just to the extent that just squeezing with my abdominal muscles is enough to force the stomoch contents out at will. Nice eh! Spagetti anyone?

[theramster]

how u throw up with out using ya fingers or pushing on ya belly?!

[12mock3lee]

When's the sequel due out?? LOL

[12mock3lee]

David Lynch Jr.

[anycolouryouwant]

why?

[casanasie]

this is actually happening to him. this isnt something he came up with. its no joke.

[passaidai]

Unfortunately, I know the feeling... Hang in there.