I knew smoking was wrong (not well). I didn't care and had no motivation to care. I certainly knew my parents wouldn't have punished me if I was to be caught smoking.
When I was a child I had the skills to get what I wanted in a socially acceptable manner in most situations but I chose not to because it was more fun to be bad and it was easier and quicker. How do you explain me stealing a pack of cigarettes when I was 14?
Do adults do well if they can as well? or does this rule shut down when a child becomes an adult? If adults do do well when they can only then how do we explain a political scandal?... a pro athlete giving up on a play? What about a man having an affair on his wife? Simply cases of skill deficits?
Shouldn't it be "kids do well if they can AND if they want to?
As if there's some sort of intrinsic motivation inside of us all and all we are missing is the skill set to succeed. Kids don't manipulate? lie? perform selfish acts?
Ross, I love your work and your philosophy and have been directing teachers and professionals to your 'livesinthebalance' website for the last year or so (since I stumbled across it). As an educator/parent/professional working with kids on the autism spectrum your collaborative problem solving is the methods we use naturally with our kids, because it's the only method that works. Now I can direct the non-believing professionals to your website and your videos and effect change for our kids!
By the way. I was ODD ADD Depression IED ...you name it.
sunsetjoseph 2 months ago
I knew smoking was wrong (not well). I didn't care and had no motivation to care. I certainly knew my parents wouldn't have punished me if I was to be caught smoking.
sunsetjoseph 2 months ago
When I was a child I had the skills to get what I wanted in a socially acceptable manner in most situations but I chose not to because it was more fun to be bad and it was easier and quicker. How do you explain me stealing a pack of cigarettes when I was 14?
sunsetjoseph 2 months ago
Do adults do well if they can as well? or does this rule shut down when a child becomes an adult? If adults do do well when they can only then how do we explain a political scandal?... a pro athlete giving up on a play? What about a man having an affair on his wife? Simply cases of skill deficits?
sunsetjoseph 2 months ago
Shouldn't it be "kids do well if they can AND if they want to?
As if there's some sort of intrinsic motivation inside of us all and all we are missing is the skill set to succeed. Kids don't manipulate? lie? perform selfish acts?
sunsetjoseph 2 months ago
Excellent video.
paisleyyama 2 months ago
Thank you Dr. Ross.
Your book saved my relationship with my ADD, ODD daughter.
Before I read your book, I thought I was the worst mother in the world.
I thought my daughter had more control over what she was doing and just really trying to make my life miserable ON PURPOSE.
Only problem with that idea was I was not the only one who was being made miserable, my daughter was the most miserable of both of us.
Thank you Dr. Ross.
I recommend your book to everyone I know who experiences same
NWsubmom 10 months ago
Ross - good to see you on YouTube. Excellent books: "The Explosive Child" and "Lost at School"
rodolfo1114 1 year ago
Ross, I love your work and your philosophy and have been directing teachers and professionals to your 'livesinthebalance' website for the last year or so (since I stumbled across it). As an educator/parent/professional working with kids on the autism spectrum your collaborative problem solving is the methods we use naturally with our kids, because it's the only method that works. Now I can direct the non-believing professionals to your website and your videos and effect change for our kids!
aspergerchild 1 year ago