Dr. Julia Hare @ 07 SOBU - discipline

[ron2ce]

discipline is the most important word in the conversation of progress and achievement. Not so much bc of the physical disciplining of children but the mental aspect. Having a strong mind and being disciplined is essential in rearing our children with love that is tough but encouraging and very specific to each child, bc every child does respond the same to certain stimuli

[icebergtip]

I admired your video. But wish you could elaborate more on discipline (I think i spelled that wrong). Many a have a misconception about discipline. Discipline is more than just whupping a child.

[marquieta33]

I'm a 34 y/o black woman. you are correct in your philosophy on baby boomers needing to take responsibilty for the demise of the children. My mom was on crack and still is today. That stuff killed the community. Children like me grew up self managed and self tought. Some of us who had common sense and good judgement made it out of that horrifying ordeal with a plan to excell. But lots of us children just evolved into what you see today in the black community; mass confusion.

[sawleo]

This is powerful and food for thought! What are the priorities that support life affirming actions in children? Indeed, what is the middle ground for disciplining and/or helping our children to behave in ways that do not damage them or others?

[peasah2005]

@peasah2005

Sister Julia Hare inspires us, to do the right thing as Africans are to do.

When it comes to self-discipline onto our children, it is vital so that our children to get out of hand.

We shouldn't be too hard on our children, but we shouldn't be too leaniant towards them.

[lovelynann]

the did have something to do with for some of us, but you are right crack has done more harm to blacks than anything in who know how long, what happen was we were to told that the bmw meant that you were somebody, and nothing if you did'nt have what the world say you should , black need to go back to GOD ITS THAT SIMPLE

[stewartde]

Thank You I Felt the Love in you heart.

[makezmuzic]

Thank you Stewart. Sending some your way. Peace.

[mssoulflower75]

Thank you for this video. It was jam packed with knowledge and wisdom! Peace and blessings to you!

[makezmuzic]

Thank you Ms Soulflower. Keep blooming! Peace.

[777Thinking]

Very nice. Tyler

[makezmuzic]

Thank you Tyler. I appreciate your taking the time to check my vid out. Peace.

[ziggi08able]

I really do enjoy your posts, they're informative, well humoured and provide me with much needed hope for the continuation of the concept of the 'Black Community' - that's my personal take.

Please keep posting - I'll be back to make a more substantive contribution

[makezmuzic]

Thank you Ziggi. We've got to stay hopeful about the growth of our community. I'm looking forward to you coming back and contributing more. Peace.

[MarvelGirl11]

I'm a boomer and I taught my child manners and spent time with him and went to school meetings and was discouraged from doing so by his teachers. They didn't want input from me in their domain. True many of us have distorted values, I never bought a name brand tennis shoe and still do not have a wide screen. I didn't buy clothes for myself to pay tuition to private school. there are always going to be bad examples. Julia Hare is still right.

[makezmuzic]

If you cannot get a child to follow directions with out hitting it is your communication failure , not the child.

Hitting is just easier. Communication takes energy. Thought, patience. We've done 400 years of Dr. Hare's way. How's it working for us? How are our youth doing thee days?

[MarvelGirl11]

We are not doing it the Dr. Hare is talking about. We came up with respect. Of course it can be taken too far. Our children were in control in the days when they knew they would be punished if they got out of hand. We can agree to disagree.

[Natalieexoxo1]

Odd

[Blackknowledge1]

She has a good heart but have no clue as to historical accuracies. Where the crack came from, US government policies in areas such as eugenics with African America which lead to experiments with all sort of chemicals not only in food, but air, water. The politics is at the heart of it. Blacks never had a clear level after slavery.

[makezmuzic]

Hi Blackknowledge. I have a cousin in west LA that told me about the unlocked , open trucks of automatic weapons that just "appeared" on the streets of LA along with the influx of freebase & crack.

We have been sabotaged all the way.

[sguardian870]

makezmuzic thank u for ur wise knowledge i saw dr julias speech and i do agree with her a lot but she speaking out of hurt and pain and some time that can push u to far out but shes right. But u have spoken truth as well great rational truth im a 21 yrs blk guy in the uk and blk parents need to sit up and work harder and focus more on their kids its not easy bcos we have our own crap to deal with as well as media, racism etc but if we fix ourselves then we can take them on blks need to unite

[makezmuzic]

Sguardian, you hit the nail on the head. Thanks for your input.

[pharcelle]

Correct on the 'me' generation/individualism

[makezmuzic]

Sadly true.

[aweofme]

shes so pretty!

[makezmuzic]

Thank you Aweofme. It's always a pleasure to meet another "Tick" fan. :o)

[watchingtoandfro]

She mentioned nothing about the sick child abuse the kids went through by the boomers and now those kids are teens with not respect for older people nor any authority and I firmly understand why. I don't care what those baby boomers went through, you never hurt kids.

[makezmuzic]

finally you are showing that you have some common sence - YES, it's never OK to hurt a child.

watching, clean out your ears and learn the difference between hearing what happened and what is right.

Use your ears & close your eyes & get involved!!!! What are YOU doing to stop child abuse????

Do you really think baby boomers are the only abusers????

get a clue & get involved. Have you ever in your life volunteered anywhere? No, than STFU until you got some experience.

[makezmuzic]

Thank you.

[waffiki]

1st the media is to blame.

the mafia who is pushing drugs on the young black are to blame, the police are to blame, the judges are to blame.

I think the time is right now, for the black to unite and start talking our worries.

we seem to think the same, feel the same, and are worried the same way etc...we should get together and sort out the problem and correct the future,it is late (13%negro in whole usa and 60%prison population are negro)but not very late. GOD HELP US.

[makezmuzic]

Thank you for your comment Waffiki. The media in this country is atroscious. It is time to hold it accountable.

You hit some good points, racism IS institutionalized in this country. 60% of the prison population proves that. It is time to unite, put solutions into action. Afterschool programs, youth programs, menotrship...save our youth.

[watchingtoandfro]

Please, lets not forget the cruel and unusual child abuse people in her age range did to their own children. Now those children are teens or a little older with no respect for any authority and I firmly understand why, I'm not saying that is good but, the older boomers are getting what to sowed.

[makezmuzic]

Thank you EyesOnly. I am a FIRM believer in conflict resolution. I truely believe that conflict resolutions skills would help ALL people.

[loveNcolor]

Nehh, its over. Without the union of man and woman there's no chance of us climbing out of the abyss into which we've deeply fallen...Barack or not. Our divide is in disrepair.

I try to be positive most times but I know I'm kidding myself...the African American is doomed and at the end of the day we really have no one to blame but ourselves, as we just let too many detriments go unchecked for far too long. Real talk.

[makezmuzic]

I can't believe you are Black. YOU are useless - go away.

[H8RbyN8URE]

And I can't believe that today is what has become of African Americans...but then again as you alluded, the first wave of misbegotten crack babies ARE all grown now. *shrug*

Don't worry - go away I shall indeed, gladly. Get well.

[watchingtoandfro]

What she is not saying is how people in her age group did cruel and unusual child abuse and now those abused kids are knocking old people in the heads and beating their asses because the older group lost the respect of those teenagers now.

She sounds clueless!!!

[makezmuzic]

#1 Watching - clueless? What child abuse agency are you working for? None, SYFU than as far as judjing my work & life experience.

[SeanD44]

Lol...there maybe no chance for YOU...speak for yourself. You're weak...you can do no good for black people at all. People like you are a cancer.

[10fDemdays]

Most of us are sick of the same dialogue about whats wrong with us, And what we must do about it. 100 years from now people will still be having this same conversation in regard to the black exsperience here in america. This is what i meant when i said there is no real solution things either get worse, or they remain the same.

[makezmuzic]

Please don't give up 10. I hear your frustration. We can make changes. There are young parents that are changing our old patterns. I wish the media would focus more on the families of color/ poor white families that are doing it right. That needs to be reienforced so people can SEE what is working.

Peace.

[LiberatedMindsTV]

WOW! what you said in the end is sooooo F'n true! much love to YOU and the FEW adults that REALLY CARE about the youth and aren't afraid to talk about the faults of adults in the past!

[makezmuzic]

Thank you so much. And for your other kind words. I was going to write you tonight . You made my day, not only with your words, but with your strength and courage in being there for youth. All the important work you are doing with young people. And how you are have not let the stumbling blocks slow you down. Wishing you the very best. MM

[10fDemdays]

There is no real solution if there were we would have tried it by now.

[makezmuzic]

While I hear your frustration, I have more confidence in our peoples ability to raise to the occation. We have not tried all solutions. Just the fact that Dr, Hare is calling for us to whip our kids again shows we havent tried all solutions.

Until our Elders', Church Leaders and community leaders ALL agree on modeling/ teaching verbal conflict resolution with our children - we have not tryed ALL solutions.

[makezmuzic]

Our children see the highest rate of Black on Black violence than any other childhood population. Our children meet the criteria for being diagnosed as having PTSD. When are we going to admit that our inability to resolve conflicts any other way than violence IS DAMAGING OUR CHILDREN. KILLING THEM!!!! Generation after generation after generation.

Our daughters are lined up for an abusive MF like Piles (Plies)! WTF?

[makezmuzic]

Do a YT search on Pimp Slap Ho - that will show you the level of acceptance for violence in our community.

[izijj]

Obama is black by law, raised by a white mother. Moses uplifted his people based on what his mother taught him. His laws will kill your babies like Herod the King and have your men dying off like Sodom & Gomorrah. Based on his record that's the way it is. Discipline from those you respect, are received because you know they must be doing right. Discipline from someone that cannot manage their own life or you hate, breeds oppositon. Loving correction, even spanking, cannot be mistaken.

[makezmuzic]

Ahhhhhh......did any of your parent's children survive?

[izijj]

Yes ma'am but many more won't-abrtn & hmsxlty. We barely repopulate to keeps the #s up. There's a disconnect with the discipline and relationship. My parents were disfunctional but still I needed most spankings I rec'd. W/o it, we would not be as far as we are today. But you're right, when you see someone for 2-3 hours a day and you come home swinging belts, that's crazy. But if you love them, you see the end result, and discipline, and I have 5 children. It strengthens!

[makezmuzic]

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'

[makezmuzic]

I can not believe you have the nerve to come on my page and say Barak Obama is the man he is because he has a white Mom. And use the bible to back your racism? You represent one of my major issues with Christians. You ability to manipulate any written word to meet your needs.

[makezmuzic]

Naw izijj, I shouldn't just say Christians - I should say all religious nuts! Muslims, Christians, Jews, all of you that use the Creator to justify your toxic ideals.

[izijj]

Why is he the man he is? It's not really about Mr. Obama. I'm not a religious nut but maybe we need to be some. My grandmother would be appalled at what is normal now. She would caution me to remember my history and try not to repeat it. My "toxic ideals" probably saved a lot of our lives from death and our men from missing leadership and the wholeness in the home. I don't manipulate the Bible, it just put me in remembrance of it. I was actually agreeing with you about our responsibility.

[makezmuzic]

Please forgive my nissunderstanding, I'm glad I explained why I responded to your comment the way I did. I really thought you were say that Barak is the way he is because his Mother is white. And your ref to Moses was about Barack being raised away from his community. I see now that I commpletely missunderstood you. Please accept my apology for making a racial assumption about your comment. I was very wrong. Peace.

[izijj]

Forgiveness given and I apologize if I caused you any stress.

[maipai101]

Wow, it seems as if no one ever talks about the latch key kids. Not only that but I felt that the older generation left the younger generation with no map and no instructions.

[makezmuzic]

A lot of Baby boomers thought the "prize" was money. They put in 50 hrs a week with companies that downsized them. The dicorced ones had to work hard to keep their children feed. But I think also, to make sure their 'latchkey kids' had the best that could be bought. Tahts when the price of tennis shoes started hitting the roof.

And the parents bought them, anything their 'latchkey kids' wanted. Gave them everything except what they really needed. Their time and attention, their history

[mightyblack1]

Right on Dr. Hare. Some of our are sista and brothers are too afraid whoop these kids asses and they're busy trying to friends with them instead of being the parents.

[maipai101]

Yes, but the whoopings get to the point of uselessness it doesn't help at all anymore. I don't believe in spanking, and belittling a child. That can do some major damage. I have found more creative ways to get children to behave. What also concerns me is that alot of black parents whip their children for any little thing, and its like they find any excuse to take out their angst and stress on the poor little child even if their offense wasn't that big of a deal. I'm sick of parents doing that.

[makezmuzic]

Mighty, why don't you go hang out at juvenile hall. #1 I'm sure they could benefit from having someone "mighty" as a role model.

#2 get a raise of hands of who had they asses whooped.

If the only way you as an adult can get a child to act right is to whoop them - then you don't have the communication skills to have children. Or an adult relationship as far as that goes. lol

[Makiba08]

We don't "need" material things keeping up with the Joneses is an essential part of American Culture and your are absolutely right our assimulation into this culture equaled our destruction. The kids can go on the internet and absorbed knowledge of everything: history, geography, math etc. The schools have to change the system in order to keep up with that - that is why the kids are bored with school and black kids need to be taught their real history dating back to ancient times.

[makezmuzic]

THank you Makiba!!! Keeping up is killing us. We as women are getting heart attacks at the same rate as our husbands. Our husbands are dying way to young. They are working themselves to death! And for what? I can't tell you how many kids really feel like they are over booked also. We want the best for them, but they don't need every minute planned out with baseball, dance, this and that.

[makezmuzic]

THe schools don't have the where with all to make those changes. Instead of basketball/ football, kids need a Black run pm or saturday schools that are run by us to do exactly what you are talking about.

Our history, conflict resolution, peer tutoring, BUSINESS & parenting classes, rites of passage.

I'm sorry to get so negative. I know that most parents are doing the best they can. But the last thing our kids need is our hopelessness. They are bored. & when you add hopelessness...

[makezmuzic]

We can only blame the system for so much and for so long.  Yes, we got screwed. Does a trip to Cabos make everything better? That corner office witha window? Assimilation = genocide. What are our people doing to heal? Pray away PTSD? Pray away incest survival? Pray away battered wife syndorme? Pray away being sodomised in juvenile hall by a bigger Brother?

[makezmuzic]

THe boushi Black babyboomers took their prize - an education, joined the coprartate world & set up household in the hills & gave their kids a latchkey & worked for 50 hrs a week. Stuffed their noses with coke & never looked

Now this governement WE allowed into office has run this country into the ground & we're sitting in front of our big screen TV's whinning.

How many of you demonstrated when the World Trade Org came to town? Deomonstrated the war? Hell, Volunteer at your kids school?

[Makiba08]

The number of working hours has to be changed in order to accomodate the American family. White kids build bombs and buy guns to terrorize students and teachers in schools because their parents are spending most of their time at a job than at home. So blame the system not the parents.

[makezmuzic]

White kids build bombs and use their parents guns and bully the mess out of each other because they have no coping skills. They are inheariting a changing world their parents are not equipped to help them deal with. The growing cultural challenge of White Male privilege is beyond most of their experience....this is not their grandfahers america.

[makezmuzic]

I've worked in the system - with OUR parent and caught hell for bothering them when I call them to let them know their child is getting "D's" due to their truany. OUR parents answer is that a "D" is a passing grade and thats good enough to pass so stop calling. Or another classic is "I dropped him off at school this a.m. on the way to work?". "I've done my job". WTF!!!!!

Talk about passing on your hopelessness to your own kids.

[Makiba08]

Not only did the American government made it law not to whip kids or go to jail but the corporate system is set up that in order to make a viable living workers (parent/s) have to work 40 or more hours that means that you can't be home with your kids most of the week only on weekends. The working systeme is set up in a way that it destroys families. Spending most of your time working keeps you from knowing what your kids are doing?

[makezmuzic]

#1 if we stopped "NEEDING" satalite TV, guuchi bags, WWII, Playstation, Nike and all that crap we wouldn't have to work 40-50 hrs a week.

#2 If you can't take care of them - don't have them....it's called planned parent hood.

As a woman with no children who has worked for the past 40 years I don't mind my taxes going for schools, education, childrens health care. Hell, I've worked for the school district for 20 years. Done adolescent drug intervention prevention ed, parent ed, teacher ed

[makezmuzic]

I worked at non profits because I thought I could make a difference. Meanwhile I get looked down on by prada wearing corperate Sistas and Brothas who drive the latest cars while their children wear the same dirty clothes to school every day. Got their nails done while their kids don't have a desk to do their homework on. No dictionary, reading light. You expect one adult to resolve the daily issues of a class full of 30 sleepy, hungry, pissed off, stoned kids and you can't deal with yours?

[Makiba08]

Blacks do not import cocaine or make guns these things are sold into the hood and unfortunately blacks foolishly allow themselves to be used to destroy each other. Sure the baby boomers were on crack - but the europeans knew that crack was instantly addictive and poured into the ghettos we know Bush Sr's administration did that to fund the Nicaraguan war. Destroy black America ghettos to wage an war.

[10fDemdays]

White america or the powers that be are not gonna give up, or leave there comfort zones, The white power structure is just to hard to crack and anybody that they feel threatened by that could possibly crack there system of white supremacy they will kill like they killed Dr Martin Luther King. Things will eventually end in a nuclear holocaust i say burn it up and start over fresh.

[whodathunkit01]

respect

[makezmuzic]

Respect is the key My Brother.

[Screamingdk]

Obama is a band aid for a cancer that is passed band aids. If he wins and doesn't do what he's told,he will get a Kennedy hair cut,3 shots to the dome. Don't believe in saviors cuz they don't exist.

[makezmuzic]

I don't believe in saviors. But I believe in the power of people for the first time in years. I think a lot of us are in need of hope, a change in our government.

We can't leave all the work to Barak though. Most of the work that needs to be done needs to be done by us, the people. His being elected won't get rid of the Skull and crossbones crew, but it is the first step towards change.

It's up to us to take it the rest of the way. And for the first time many of us feel it.

Peace

[Screamingdk]

the part about us doing the work is whats real. all the other shit about hope is just a word with no real meaning.Obama is just a foot note in history.He will disappoint all those who place their faith in heros and saviors. I predict several attempts at assination against him.

[makezmuzic]

"Hope" is what we need to hang onto inorder to keep doing the work. Otherwise, why do the work? Why not give up & say fugit?

Not matter what, Obama IS an important part of our history. That a Black man was able to raise to where he has gotten on a platform of change and dignity and hope. He's more than a foot note. Please do not negate the progress he has made.

I too, am very afraid for his life. And know just how close we came to a race war after Katrina.

[makezmuzic]

I believe there are those who would use a race war or an attach on Iran to lock the country down. That there are people in our goverment who would facilitate his assasination in order to lock this country down into marshall law with McCain as the leader.

[Screamingdk]

Read the book by the late columist Carl Rowan entitled the coming race war. He was a right wing negrobot for the system until he got close to death. You are sincere but very naive. Negation is not new to us so Obama is just part of this. What you don't seem to get is the following,we are on the path to self destruction. What we don't do this insane nation is doing to us. Every barometer shows us to be last or first in if its bad or destructive. So assination is all part of the equation.

[makezmuzic]

No, I understand we are on a path of destruction. NO, I will not negate Obama's influence. This is the 1st time I have seen so many diverse americans behind one person since the 60's. THAT is history. PERIOD.

It sounds like you are one of those who embrace his assassination in order to bring on the downfall. I see your vid on how they plan to assassinate Obama is gone. What was is your theory?

[Screamingdk]

I got beat and whipped by my father.Thats the way he was raised. While I founded this extreme, I did spank my oldest daughter, not often but it happened. My other children,never got spanked that much.

What I want to focus on is the mental level of so many older blks my age,who never developed to much in the way of learning out side of college. What we are witnessing is the emptyness of so many of us who never have attempted to enlarge the scope of their knowledge base or outside interest.

[makezmuzic]

Screamin wisely said "the emptyness of so many of us who never have attempted to enlarge the scope of their knowledge base or outside interest."

First I would like to give you MUCH respect for making the decision to not pass on the practice of whipping and beating your children.

I agree with your statement 100%. I see many of my Mothers friends who are feeling the emptiness from never leaving their comfort zone of knowledge & community. They are now isolated, alone & battleing depression.

[Screamingdk]

Thanks for being alive mentally and in touch with the ugly realities to many never will figure out.

[makezmuzic]

It's been at great cost. But I couldn't have lived my life any other way. Thank you for recognising.

[vanessaevelyn]

what are you talking about, you contradict yourself, "you send them off and tell them to do as they please" your words, that is a lack of discipline, Miss Hare is absolutley accurate, what are you ranting on about, you then later say that we left them to themselves, then u say we did not teach them manners, what are you on about, please dont contradict Miss Hare, u just want to hear your own voice, it is not becoming, stop & listen to yourself, by the end u are a contradiction. We DID STOP

[makezmuzic]

#2 It is just your denial, romancing of the AA community that has our children and young people hating themselves. Hating each other because the first person that ever hit them, beat them, burned them, cut them were the people who were suppose to love them. Were people with the same skin as them.

Please volunteer at your local juvenile facility. Your local shelter, your local group home, your local adolescent treatment facility.

[makezmuzic]

I will never keep my mouth closed when I hear people romanticise the "good old days" when we could beat our kids. Not for Ms Hare, not for you, not for anyone.

Would you Vanessa, applaude a man romanticising the old days when domestic abuse was rationalized as "keeping his wife in check"?

[makezmuzic]

#1 Vanessa. I can contradict any one I want. That is what we call "freedom of speech". I have worked as a youth service provider in our community for years. I don't know if she has never worked on the front lines with our children. Worked with anykind of Child assault prevention/intervention program as I have.

And it sounds like you havent either. If we have stopped abusing our children there would not be any broken, bruised and battered children of color in the system.

[Screamingdk]

Ya back when girls got raped and molested by their own father,uncles and anybody else.Back when we had our heads fried,dyed and layed to the side.O ya back when we got killed for even less by insane whites or insane blacks and nobody even cared to investigate who the bodies were./Shit back when there were more pimp preachers and molesters who were openly known and support by the community.Back where women got beaten and raped more and had no support from their own families.

[makezmuzic]

WORD!

[lloo567]

Yeah---the "good" old days. You make very good points.

[frankeerazor]

I agree, God Bless You. Crack was a huge part of Black America's downfall, but I feel we are on the come up, as a nation. Obama 08

[makezmuzic]

Thank you Frank. We ARE on our way up. Obama is proof. Take care. MM

[BmajorCminor]

I don't think that "discipling" our children is the reason for us being on crack. But I do agree with the comments of the "me" generation has been a product. And there is a difference between Abuse and Discipline.

[makezmuzic]

Many "baby boomers", who had been "switched" & "strapped" made a decision not to treat their children that way. There must be a reason for that? Yes, there is a difference tween discipline and abuse. Are you trying to tell me that there are no "child abuse" issues in our community?

[makezmuzic]

Sorry, I must not have been very clear on that one. "Disciplining" our is not what caused that first generation of crack users. I belive that the "discipline" the Dr is talking about, having a child go outside and pick a switch to be beaten with, humiliating a child can cause the kind of self hate issues that can cause drug use. Add on our denial of the damage that is done by humiliating, shaming our children physically & emotionally.

[blackberryjuice1]

you're so insightful and generous. you remind me of bell hooks.

[makezmuzic]

Thank you so much  for your kind words. Peace