Dana Carvey: Squatting Monkeys Tell No Lies Part 1

[eslomovits]

This guy is one of the most underrated people ever. If you google best SNL cast members, his name comes up near the top on almost every list, but not a lot of people know his name. He needs to be more well-known. One of my faves!

[xNickieMonroex]

HE DID THE GARTH VOICE!!!!!!!!!!!

[solitaresister]

What a hoot! I visit here often, when I need a laugh. I like that he picks on everyone, regardless

of political party.

[Masterlink981]

46 people are the lemon.

[lovehenize]

This guy sucks

[lothgow]

@lovehenize you suck

[CopperMilitia]

@lovehenize What comedians do you like?

[thecobra305]

@Megaboot101 If they did, they would've probably liked it.

[Megaboot101]

whoever dislikes this, musy have a case of the fuckits

[missLUVSgreenday]

Dana Carvey<33333333333333333333333­3333333333333333333333333

[MaggieBrightside]

i think i am the lemon.

[darkwarriorkane]

@MaggieBrightside Someone get the sacred diaper lol

[jimmyfallonfan98]

People do think that I'm a granola head and that I'm a lemon!

[trojangirl246]

i have the fuck its almost every day

[trojangirl246]

i have the fuck its almost every day

[LordLokust]

Dude it has "lolz" in the link, if that isn't a sign that this is good comedy i don't know what is.

[LordLokust]

@LordLokust ...er... must've been a playlist =P

[ItchyKneeSon]

Not his best by a longshot.

[jigsaw924]

periodically smelling our hands. Afterwards we stare at a poster of Justin bieber for approximately 6 hours. We then burn it. The member of the society who looks the most like bieber is also maimed & killed in the most monstrously agonizing, disgustingly Foul-smelling way possible. Then we break for lunch...

... Shortly after we repeat each step backwards, paint all the men's penises red, & the vaginas blue. The two shortest members must make purple. If they don't finish before the paint dri

[justforthelulzzz]

@jigsaw924

Enlighten the fuck out of me.

[jigsaw924]

Welcome to the society of the diamond jock strap. Every 2nd Monday of any month ending in the letter "Y", we all stand outside of the nearest Starbucks & throw approximately 3 dollars and 62 cents at the nearest person & very quietly tell them to buy some tea. Exactly 5 minutes later, we all meet at shakey's pizza. There we are each fitted with a hat made from wheat grass, duct tape, birch wood, condoms & rhino feces. We, then each sing the national anthem backwards while danceing the macerena

[legruneflickmaster]

As soon as he said granola, granola came on the tv wtf!

[kittykitty8142]

@MelCorbalis i think i am the lemon.

[PINKPEANUT91]

Can I join the cult of the golden orb? Seriously my favorite part XDDD

[PINKPEANUT91]

Im seriously obsessed with him, guys that are comedians or that can make me laugh its such a turn on <3

[andy3heart]

Im the Lemon

[cdoftx]

What BS, the aliens are already in our bodies, you don't get them from shampooing

[laughasitis]

Christians have magic wafers, Jewish people have magic hats, Mormon people have magic underwear. I dont care!

[dragonboy350]

44 people are the lemon

[ChevyTrucksRock69]

lol the promoted video is a mormon video crazy religions are all over

[crimsonking1235813]

@londron

Yeah, cause europe definitally never went crazy with religion...

[FlameMistress08]

I just love Dana Carvey. :] He's timeless.

[MTVVH1sucks]

this is just not funny.

[ergotempusvernum]

Dana Carvey: just as cute and funny as he was 20 years ago.

[TheRaynyDaysOfRaynie]

There's a website for this religion, actually. Google lemonparty. It'll explain everything beyond their Tuesday rituals.

[Sephie666]

@TheRaynyDaysOfRaynie three guesses who's the lemon

[RTNxOZ]

when i first heard of scientology, i thought that was crazy. but then again, so is a talking snake telling a women to take an apple.

[6KingCooper6]

0.0 I just took the 3 1/2 hour Nyan Cat challenge and I'm pretty sure I am the lemon 0.0

[scottwill19]

Jw, but what do episcopalians believe in?

[SimuLord]

Dana Carvey's the same age as my mom and both look much younger than they are. Here's to young-looking Boomers!

[XxshadowWolf13xX]

i have a case of the fuckits almost everyday

[uruglytoo]

stoned off my ass when i first saw this on tv

[irishbutterfly123]

43 people are the lemons

[Venom1246]

4:20 HELP! I can't breathe! X*D I cant stop laughing!

[colliernation96]

i am the lemon

[MandyDeadite]

lalalalaaaaaaaaaa disorganized

[Masterlink981]

Who here is the LEMON?! I think 42 people, got slapped across the face.

[falconmaster64]

.....I think i could be the lemon



[ADRIofWonderland]

@falconmaster64 SLAP! where the heck is the diaper?

[Londron]

I love how comedians keep bashing religion :p. Being from Europe I'm always blown away by the stupidity regarding religion in the US.

[MissPinkRobot]

42 people are the lemon. xD

[balmoraman]

42 people are the lemon

[MegaJonny55]

I'm the lemon! also i got a case of the fuck its.

[FireFoxy67]

I get a lot of cases of fuckits

[FireFoxy67]

Dana Carvey is fucking hilarious

[Acemaster803]

mormon do not believe in magic underwear thats a rumor that was vaguely mistold

[benjaminlyrics]

@Acemaster803

magic may be a diversionary term, but....... being a former mormon (still on the rolls) for all practical purposes, it's pretty close.

[jutsmakingapoint]

are you the lemon no are you the lemon no

[stevenneufeld]

He's on saturday night live this week, that is feb. 5/11. Linkin park is the musical group

[Megafan96Owns]

This kicks ass.

[colliernation96]

hard to belive this is garth

[colliernation96]

i am the lemon

[kalevala45]

Connor : Its not that funny.

[TheUndeadMouse]

he looks good for 55 and hes still funny

[accustomcycle]

@TheUndeadMouse He's 55?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fluteplaya22593]

@TheUndeadMouse he's 55? He's not that old!

[TCall2004]

@TheUndeadMouse - 55 isn't old.

[secretlovechild87]

he's cute

[jeffskid96]

funniest comedian ever

[pulse0fmagg0ts]

fianaly a religon that makes sence to me :)

[SuperBingo21]

3:33 - So-Funny!

[SuperMarkerComicBro]

Even when they ask each other "Are you the lemon?", do they have to get out of the plastic punishment room every Tuesday still at 2:30 Eastern and put that red-hot chili pepper between their buttocks and say "Giddyup, horsie" and get back in the plastic punishment room and continue with "Are you the lemon?" That's what I'm wondering.

[SuperMarkerComicBro]

this guys say "f*ck" way too f*cking much.

[c4r50n1]

@SuperMarkerComicBro And you care too much.

[TKTRiseAgainst]

@SuperMarkerComicBro Fuck.

[ilovemixednuts]

i have a chase of the fuck its all week long!

[ChrisBrittain1]

This dude is so funny!!!

[RealTime88]

@ChrisBrittain1 I remember the first time I saw this on HBO and I was laughing so hard in the motel room I am stunned the guests didn't call the manager to scream!!! Dana Carvey cracks me up and always has a point of view you just relate to right away!! His impressions crack me up too!!!

[JPman299]

if you want to be rich give me all your money XD

[eldorado61guy]

'on You Tube for 9 hours watching a cat flush a toilet'

[lantheman1]

we put on our sandpaper pants.

[halogodzzillia3]

my fav comedoin of all time.

[mauricegto]

im supposed to be studying, but i got a case of the fuck-its and am curently high xD

[TheWrongLefty]

I think I might be the lemon... o.O

[Addict2586Movie]

Love him!! Laughing my ass off!!!

[WesternBeatle]

Hey, I have a case of the fuckits today! :D

[NarxHinfan89]

@WesternBeatle THE FUCKITS ARE FUN!!!! XP

[hitman3240]

@WesternBeatle ive had them all month..never knew what to call them. :D

[BlaizeConner1989]

I will be uploading a better copy of Squatting Monkeys Tell No Lies, in a few days.

[TheZeldaLover1]

@BlaizeConner1989 to bad it never came 

[murosteel]

@BlaizeConner1989 why? i can see it perfectly >_> people are just trolling

[Scapps91]

wtf is it all fastforwarded for

[gullwing14]

While repeating the sacred Montra: "Giddyup Horsey" 51 times. LMFAO!!!!

[pika23]

i think its the resolution...i changed to 240p and it is ok

[sayoian99]

@pika23 yep.works for me.

[luvya242]

Why dont they call raspberries small purple bumpies?

[househeadericmd]

he is a genius - one of my favorite comedians

[jules3d6]

wtf..... could some1 fix this plzzzzzz????

[DarkMojoman]

wth happened to the video?

[iseeduble]

why is this video in fast motion. what the frig. im sitting herrrr with mah fran and we 're wondering what the hell is going on he's talking and we see him moving wicked fast. so im just wondering whats going on. because this wasnt happening before. and obviously squatting monkeys DO tell lies because they told me it was going to WORK but its NOT sooooo im very disappointed. idk if i should be disappointed in the maker of this videoooo ORRRR YOUTUBE ITSELFF IM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU

kthnksbye

[PotatoChipLover]

Dude, why did you speed up the video?

[nighthoodie]

Dana Carvey has an amazing range. He's been hilarious forever, but I kind of wish he'd try everything else too. I want to see him in deep dramatic roles, hard core supporting actor cameos in major motion pictures. We get it, Dana, you're naturally funny. Can you please do a little work and give us some dark theater, maybe a mystery, or ... remake The Third Man or something. We want more Dana Carvey!

[JackyJessica]

hahahaha

[MsShaunWhite]

dude seriously dude dude! seriously, seriously!! duuuude seriously dude, dude i think i could lemon! seriouslyl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fuunnyguy203]

LEMON!

[THEDREAM3001]

Waynes World 3??? We're still waiting Dana!

[dmais01]

OMG ROFL!!!

[DiTzBrAiN02]

tom cruise has a very creepy laugh.

[spicychick86]

@DiTzBrAiN02 i agree i think he personally is a douchebag with a huge ego no wonder he can not stay married no offense to him just saying my opinion u gotta feel bad for his kid suri poor lil girl idk what to say

[nwnational]

dana carvey is soooo funny

[gymfreakgymnast]

i am the lemon!!!!!

[27LeBlanc619]

i had the biggest case of the fuckits today

[TillHawks]

@27LeBlanc619 woow! me too!

[StealthFirePro]

Are you the lemon,

[The6thSenceMusic]

@StealthFirePro

No, are you the lemon?

[seau2007]

hello

[senorsavage]

thats like a port-a-potty at a biker rally

[fatesmagic]

@senorsavage *facepalm*

[TheCrypticPie]

Cars made of balsa wood, now there's some fuel efficiency.

[DenJaMinpurpleXD]

aah! i just got a case of da fuck its!

[RoflMahWaffleCopter]

Ah, i remember this... this was the first "show" I saw Dana Carvey do... he's been in my top 5 favorites since then

[jules3d6]

watching a cat flush a toilet? i personaly like the suprized kitty my self :D i could watch thatfor 90 hours!!!

[greendaysuperfan96]

im the lemon

[rogue9428]

you're on youtube for 9 hours watchin' a cat flush a toilet!

[mmernin86]

ok.. Dana carvey's recent appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno has been removed probably because of "racist" comments. However, Every single blog/comments board that has anything to do with him are NOT showing recent posts. Facebook/ myspace/ Twitter all have nothing. Does he still exist?

[mercsfan1]

Are you the Lemon?

[SuperMarkerComicBro]

@mercsfan1 No. Are you the Lemon?

[fishandfestival]

Dana is one of the best comedic actors, best stand up comics and was one of the best SNL performers...As an impersonator, few comics come close to Dana...I think Dana is underrated as a comic and actor...I hope he'll be around for a long to come...The guy just doesn't seem to age!

[nwilson59]

dr. twisty nipples!! lol lmfao!

[TheXXpsychokillrXX]

he'll always be garth to me :)

[bmoney563]

I think this guy is baked.

[actionreplayuser]

i think i might be the lemon...

[AJ121official]

You know..I think I could be the lemon.

[joeycolts]

I AM THE LEMON GOD DAMNIT

[originaldarthwayne]

are u the lemon? No! are you the lemon? No! are you the lemon? I think im the lemon

[djb103]

if he is a guy, why is his name "Dana" ???

[joyork]

@djb103 Are you insinuating he's somehow not a guy? As for why... oh I don't know, maybe his parents gave him the name?

[pazpantz]

@djb103 cuz his parents suck.

[Meemo12]

@djb103 becuase a guy can have a girls name like a girl can be named corey or billy or alex it doesn't matter what gender they are they have that name

[djb103]

@Meemo12 oh ok.

[coolblackrock15]

I think i'm the lemon o.O

[DaKilla27]

According to the Transcribe Audio function, the sacred prayer is "Squatting Monkeys no no no I"

[killdeath44]

"that thing, my god, i cant believe you have a pulse" lol

[joeycolts]

4:22 - 5:32 fuckn hilarious

[djb103]

@joeycolts hell yea!

[shadetheninja666]

I AM THE LEMON!!!! *slap* OUCH! DX

[modernmusic52]

"la-lamlalahmmana god,lalamamalahama savior, oh creator.....oh! creator! universe i love you god eheh creator la la la la disorganized!"

[DemonZangetsu]

Am... Am I the lemon?

[supermoocow2]

"dis is gunjai yankamydick and Dr. twistynipples

[11ER2]

i..i think i could be the lemon

[32reasonsbassplayer]

@11ER2  i slap you across the face

[xcassiex122108x]

@11ER2 *slaps across face* :p

xD

[IntellectualAL]

 no I'm the lemon !

[13ella13oo]

3:00

[ignisorso]

Hahahahahahahahahah banna

[Chatuer]

why do they call an orange an orange but the dont call a banana a yallo?

[budgienation]

@Chatuer dunno, but now I'm working on why 'shipments' go by truck, but 'cargo' goes by ship? Cozmik, man. Much 'doobage', Capt. Bonghit.....

[SuperMarkerComicBro]

@Chatuer same reason they call a nickel a 'nickel', but they don't call pennies 'coppers'

[theavenginggun]

@SuperMarkerComicBro b/c pennies arn't made of copper anymore grandpa

[SuperMarkerComicBro]

@theavenginggun I'm 14. Don't call me Grandpa.

[theavenginggun]

@SuperMarkerComicBro oooooohhhhh, you're a grandma? you shoulda just said so!

[TKTRiseAgainst]

@Chatuer What's so funny about that? jesus..

[bassgeek3]

Are you the lemon?

[killdeath44]

@bassgeek3 no

[Chatuer]

i think i may be the lemon

[neckslice666]

@Chatuer put on the diaper

[The6thSenceMusic]

no, are you the lemon?

[andlee71694]

Slap!

[Helmers9]

umm............... I am de lemon?

[bballgirlsl981]

love this special!! lol

[darmanator]

i just watched this on TV

[lazerflip66y]

wow thank you poster

[XXdetonator890]

I saw this at 9:00 this morning and almost shat myself it was so damn funny.