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From: depfox
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  • how did you guys grow together as a part of this process?

  • Thanks guys, for the great information. I've just started the process. I'm a single, gay, 62 year old man, so it should be interesting to see how it goes. I found an agency that another gay man used to adopt his two kids, so that helped. You're a cute, inspiring family! (Jerry from Minnesota)

  • i'm sick of bigots saying ridiculous stuff. I'm writing a bit about marriage and parenting (Including adoption) trying to destroy the lies and bigotry. Love the video Jay and Bryan, you guys are awesome. “I would kill myself if I was adopted by gay men. I don’t like to know that two men were having sex.”

    If you were adopted as a child to two gay couples, you would never be hateful or threatening harm to yourself or to your adoptive parents.

  • @timtheloner They (The bigots) don’t realize that many children in foster care are never fortunate enough to be raised by a loving family and are often removed by parents who are abusive, neglecting them, or unable to care for them. You would be grateful to be taken in by parents who care about you and wouldn’t even have the thought of what your adoptive parents do in the privacy of their bedroom because all you would have done is play, do your homework (Or neglect your homework),

  • @timtheloner hang around with friends and more. It’s not like parents are having sex in front of kids, so really, no one needs to get upset about the idea of gays adopting.

  • You guys are great! I learned so much from this video.

  • @trakomako seriously? you know how many kids come from single parent homes tht turn out great?! i think tht right there kills your argument

  • Honestly it is ludicrous that gay couples have to go thru this process! Why don't they ask this of everyone!? Maybe there'd be less kids in foster care to begin with if they set up this ridiculous ring for straights as well. *huffs* you guys are freaking saints!

  • Thanks for detailing your experience. I want to adopt someday so this was very helpful. I wish you the best.

  • u guys r really hot! bottom boys ya? make me a movie hehe 8D

  • that was awesome ending the video with a kiss from the cute couple!

  • AAAAAAHHHHHHH Everyone is giving the thumbs up to Bryan's reaction at some point in this vid and it's the only vid I can't get to play.

  • @livin4jesus0225 Thank you for the great response.....Your dad did a great job rasing you.

  • In my opinion the kids will come to feel shame from living with two homosexuals. Wait till middle school then see how much they appreciate you adopting them. I know you guys want a family, and as fit as you are at being parents, the situation is bound to become stressful for the kids. Love isn't enough to ensure a child's happiness. Fitting in is a huge factor, and that should be considered.

  • @77winkleman So basically you're saying that it's this family's fault that other children are raised as ignorant twits?

    Love isn't enough to ensure a child's happiness, but confidence with themselves is. Kids will give other kids shit about anything, from their parents being gay, interracial, poor, fat, old, but kids who are secure with themselves and know they are loved learn to roll with the metaphorical punches. And they turn out just fine.

  • @77winkleman

    yes, but then agian all children have a hard time somewhere in their lives. all children have a hard time fitting in, no matter what the problem is. but in this case its not really the kids or the parents fault, it is the fault of society for putting so much pressure of the family to be "normal".

    and are you really saying that it would be better for the kids not to be adopted by loving parents that took the kids back to a cozy home? all because life is stressful?

  • Comments from about 8:30 about your sex life were uncalled for.

  • extremely informative!! thnx so much!!

  • @MsCivilwar I call trollin!

  • @MsCivilwar

    If our world is rotten to the core it's because of people like you, not because two men saved a brother and sister from getting bounced around in the foster care system. 

  • @MsCivilwar The fact is simply this: For Daniel and Selena and many other children in foster care it's either GAY parents or NO parents! In fact, have you adopted Ms. Civilwar?

  • oh we sure like kiss...I take a photo of it everytime ;D

    well,basically of every moment between you two,because it's so adorable I am about to spend whole night watching all of your videos and if this keeps going on I will wake up my parents with my high pitched squeeeeeeeeee XD

  • What a cute couple, I am really happy to see that it still works for some people.

    You both look delicious, and I'm afraid to admit that I am... maybe a bit jealous. lol

    Keep it up my friends, it's nice to see people living my dream.

  • wow it amazes me how much you gotta do and how strict they are. Any idiot can get pregnant and have a kid, but when 2 people of the same gender go out of their way to welcome a child into their life and family they are treated liked monsters. were they more strict to you then they are to straight couples?

  • aw, you guys are great together! what a beautiful family

  • @klyde2005 your sarcasm is pathetic there is a major difference between our families and your silly atempt to compare us to people who are abusing children.

  • @klyde2005 Kyle....thank you for showing how the comparison is complete bull crap. You've done more harm to your argument than anyone elses' rebuttal of your statement

  • Good Luck, I have no problem with children finding loving homes and parents. There have been heterosexual parents that have been bad abusive parents. Maybe this country will start looking at "Character" instead of sexual orientation for the 140,000 children that are paper ready in the USA for adoption.

  • @Americathebrave100 Couldn't have said it better!

  • i just wanted to say you two are amazing, and don't let these haters bring you down- what you did is beautiful, and a family is a family no matter what sexuality, race, or beliefs they may have. don't let anyone tell you otherwise. i hope my adoption experience someday will be as wonderful as yours is.

  • how come jay's mom have to move? just curious. nvm if you got no time to answer.

  • @deansilverz My mother takes some Medications that would have prevenented kids from being placed in our home. My mother has delt with depresion caused from the abuse from my father and her very difficult life.

  • @depfox oh i see. i am sure she must had been an understanding grandmother to be at that time. =)

  • Wow the paper work goes there alright, it seems tough but not in a "now I don't wanna do it kinda way". You have to be 100% committed when going for this, for me it might be extra hard or even impossible to adopt compared to others... But I have to maintain hope even though my future is oh so dark.

  • luciorubio has not studied the Bible.

  • I belive in the word of god being infallible and the bible is the word of god but the bible wasn't written by the word of god it was written by men, men who have biases even if knew of them or not.. but lets not get into debates now I just wanna say that if it helps... I think you guys are awsome and really are an insperation and if it counts for anything just know that your impacting my life and from the bottom of my heart thankk you really

  • which I believe includes the pig and well if anybody has ever eaten bacon well their commiting abominations but hey that's what it says in the bible..

  • and isn't it funny in the bible it says that eating and I quote from deuteronomy ch.14 verse 6-8 it is an abomination to eat anything w/ a split hoof divided in two...

  • wow I don't even know where to start I just wanna say im 16 and a catholic and gay and I do want a family when im older and I that you guys for paving the way for me and you guys seriously are an insperation however cliche that may sound and I just wana say the god I know and worship sent his only son to die for me and I think that's a god of love not one that spews out words like the love these guys have for there children and each other to be an abomination

  • So love is an abomination. Im glad I dont live in your head or your world

  • Fuck you, you ignorant cunt.

  • What are your reasons for thinking this?

  • Legalized chid abuse has already happened from countless priests, pastors, and powerful parents. You may want to look into the recent sexual scandal of the Church of Ireland.

  • @ MaryWaterton

    a priest's homosexuality does not inherently cause him to abuse kids. If anything its hateful prejudice from people like you that would cause him to divert into such criminal behavior.

  • @MaryWaterton

    Just think. That priest, or priests like him, probably grew up in a strongly catholic home. He hits puberty, and starts to feel a natural attraction towards the same sex. In order to avoid being shunned and hated by his entire family and community, who like you spread hate and lies about homosexuals. he then becomes a priest, so he won't even have to address the question of his sexuality.

  • @MaryWaterton (continued)

    However, the sexual repression required of priesthood becomes too much, and he gets it into his head that abusing these poor kids is ok, b/c he knows the church will do its best to cover up the situation in order to save face. Far less lives would be forever ruined and altered if, instead of spreading lies and hatred, you decided to preach love and acceptance.

  • LOL, "Dungeon with a sling".We can totally relate. We just completed our homestudy and will send it to our agency soon. We are going the private route. You are right, it is a long tough and sometimes expensive process and now we are just hoping to be matched. We will definitely consider the foster path if this does not work. We are in Texas and hoping for a california birth. Great video guys. We are over the first big wall, now we are in wait and see mode. Our social worker is GLBT friendly too.

  • I am so glad that you have made these videos. My partner and I are considering adoption. You guys are great. Thank you for sharing your journey. This is so helpful to those of us working through the adoption process.

  • You guys see rosie odonnels gay cruise show / movie on cable? mostly all gay fams. there was a gay couple who adopted like 8 kids, an adorable adopted 10 y/o boy kept asking when they were gonna get married... they got married on the ship. 1 LIFE

  • vanilla sex... bryans reaction... LOL

  • You guys mentioned adopting kids with HIV & AIDS, that brought back memories of my buddy days... I thought i could be a buddy to a kid, but after meeting some, i just couldnt handle seeing them deal with it, I was too emotional. Many of us couldnt deal. So I have to give major props to anyone who can adopt kids with health problems. You better do some serious soul searching before considering one of these kids, you dont want to do more harm than good.

  • Awesome video!!! You guys are a real blessing to the gay community!!! :-)

  • Another great video, guys!

    Do you happen to know about age limits on adoption? My parter just turned 40 and it will be a few years before we can seriously go about adopting.

    Also, about how much money was involved in the whole process? You mentioned some fees, but were there anything else?

  • @ bilong92, a lot of kids who are up for adoption come from broken or abusive home lives, and need to have a huge amount of time & effort put in to give them a chance at a good future. Other children are in state care because they have disabilities which their biological parents are unable to cope with, such as Autism, Foetal Alcohol Syndrome and Angelman Syndrome. Because they are so physically &/or emotionally vulnerable, making sure their adoptive parents are suitable is a top priority.

  • I find it a bit unsettling that adults wishing to adopt have to go through such a lengthly process to do so and yet when those who can just have kids do so they have such fewer problems from other people.

  • I think that people who are having babies naturally should have to go through the same type of ordeal like being CPR certified and having their home inspected.

  • yes, I completely agree.

  • Hello friends, Toni and I are following your videos on youtube. We love the ease and detail of information from your experiences in the adoption process. Thanks again. We wish you a Merry Christmas.

  • :O) hi guys cant wait to see you two in Spain 2011

  • What if you do have a dungeon and a sling? LOL!!!! I swear, I burst out laughing when Bryan said that!! LOL!!

    The paperwork looks intense. I know you're talking about the California adoption process, I'm betting the Irish one is different but along the same lines, but it's great to get all this info. You've certain answered some questions I had.

    Your Irish pal,

    Paul.

  • That's very nice guys, the informations are very helpful. In the future I might consider adoption also , now I have a clue what's it's like, thanks.

    Also what a great couple you are, I can feel the love you have for each other .

    You are very inspiring, good job.

  • Thank you for these videos! Looking to adopt in the near future !

  • i want to adopt someday and these videos are great! my girlfriend doesn't want to adopt. =/ im working on it.

  • you two don't look gay enuff ;)

  • Not sure what that means?

  • It means you could easily pass for straight guys.

    You don't look too effeminate or flamboyant.

    And I for one was pleasantly surprised about that!

  • I love your family.. it's full of positive energy.. your kids will turn out gr8 I think :)

    God bless you :)

  • @kiransimon15 God doesn't bless this abominable mess! He never intended a child to be brought up by two men. I'm sorry, it just simply isn't how God designed the human race. This is a warped and perverse business and I pray it will stop. (Don't get me wrong, God loves love, we just must know the right context. Those who simply assert that love is great in any context are clearly analytically flawed: for example, you couldn't say erotic love was good between a mother and son).

  • About paperwork and everything else.

    People, of course it feels intrusive and unfair, but in this case I absolutely support these measures, because they were not introduced to make fun of people or to insult & humiliate them. These rules PROTECT CHILDREN from abusive people, from those who don't understand how hard can it be, who don't realize they are not ready, but most importantly, they protect children from child molesters & all sorts of crazy people. And this is much more important.

  • I agree with you a 100% I think all the precations that are in place are for very good reasons. Its a lot of work but the end results are so worth it.

  • It really angers me that you are such great parents, to know that you successfully qualified to be adoptive parents, all the things you went through, and yet people voted for Prop 8 and now your marriage is on the limbo. It's just not fair!!!! :(

    Oh & if you're going to kiss at the end, don't do it like you're forced to, it has to be natural (just saying) ;) You're a super cute couple

  • LOL the kiss was more out of teasing bryan... I didnt exspect him to be so unatural about it... LOL just kidding

  • LOL Bryan was teased indeed. It was a nice kiss, don't get me wrong ;)

  • So wait, when you adopted your second child, did you have to do the process all over again?

  • No Selena and Danile are Brother and Sister we adopted them at the same time. If we where to adopt a third child then we would have to restart the process.

  • I'm transgendered so I'm guessing its close to impossible for me to adopt..... Sucks cos I've always wanted to have children, I'm still 18 but I think knowing that I can't have them biologically or through adoption makes my maternal instincts (yes we have them too) go crazy.

  • You know im not sure?

    I think a lot would depend on where you live and if you find the right adoption agency. I cant imagine in a state like CA there would be rules against you adopting.

  • Well it doesn't help that I live in Malta (in Europe), so it won't happen here, but I'll be leaving this place asap!

    Great video guys

  • Andreas turned to me last night and, out of the blue, said he wanted to have kids. It was really great that I could show him the part 1 video, and I'll be sure to show him this one as well. I'm not sure I'm ready to have kids, but at least we can benefit from your experiences. =)

  • Thats very cool. The main reason we are making these movies is to let people understand that it is possible if they want to be parents that it isnt just a dream. Just make sure you are ready when you do it. You will Know :O)

  • Great video guys, thanks for the education, I'm pretty sure i'll be adopting when the opportunity arrives (:

    I do have one question though (and sorry if this was already asked, I didn't have time to read the comments.)

    Did you have to do the exact same amount of 'procedures' when you adopted the 2nd time with the same agency?

    thanks again for the video, and I can't wait to see the next one!

  • I think Jay & Bryan adopted both kids at once, as one package, so to speak.

    That was the idea: to keep the siblings together. This is how the system works: if there are siblings, you can't adopt only one of them, they go in one package; if 1 year later no one adopts them together, they and can be adopted separately.

  • Yes we adopted bolth kids at once. They are brother and sister. If we where to adopt a third child we would have to start over. but most of the hard work is already done.

  • I find it ironic how adoptive parents have to go through all of those obstacles to test how good their parenting skills are... while biological parents can make as many babies as they want without a question.

  • Great video!

    Beautiful family!

    Happy holidays to you and yours!

  • Great Video!! Can't wait for the next one!

  • I also try to spew as much goodness as I can! hehe  ;)

  • LOL you need to be a social worker

  • That kiss at the end made me smile...so cute! I'm looking forward to hearing about your first meeting with Daniel and Selena.

  • I certainly would not want an "escape route" from your house... HELL NO!! i wanna check in NOW!!!!! Love you guys!

  • These videos are amazing. Even though i have no plans of adopting anytime soon, and even though i don't live in the US, so the adoption process would probably be quite different, i find your story of adopting fascinating. I'm certain the information you convey in them will be useful to many people. But, more importantly, the spirit that spews :0) from them is very encouraging.

  • "They liked the kiss last time",,,,LOL,,,that was so cute :-)

    There are many parents who are not capable to raise children, and many children who have been abused.  I think all couples who are planning to have children biologically should go through the same process.

  • You guys look so cute together, so happy, perfect for each other.

  • aww someone was getting a little nervous when sex was being talked about hahahaha. You guys are AWESOME, I love your entire family.

  • What!? Did you say you don't have a sex dungeon with a swing in it? When I get my first place, that's the first thing I'm putting in.

  • hey guys i subscribe 3 days ago you guys have great video im not a lesbian but i have no problem with gays or lesbians i totally support them

    so keep on making these great videos good luck and yes we did like that kiss

    take care guys

    love, sandra

  • considering Daniel is older - what was it like the 1st time u saw him/looked at him...before he saw you? I know you said you had Selina since she was a baby.... :)

  • HEHE that is part three of this video meeting the kids...,

    My favorite part of the story we will have it posted thursday night.

    I have defensive tactics training in the morning then Ill rush home and post the video.

  • Now i´m more interested in the defense tactics training....

    And the bathroom story...

    And i really enjoyed the kiss.

  • LOL well our adoption social worker broke the lock in our bath room on her first visit to our home she couldnt get out. She was so shy she didnt want to call us for help so she pushed the door out "Pocket Door" and crawled under the door. We all died when we found out what happened.

  • The defensive tactics is not fun at all it is three parts hand to hand, Baton Training, Then Grapling... Rolling around on the ground with sweaty straight guys... Now that I think about it that used to be lots of fun I must be getting old ;O)

  • Oh werent you sipose to do us a Video Question?

  • I have to steal a digital camara/web cam to do it, I swear I´m going to do one at some point.

  • You are getting old my friend, really old.

    I always tought i clould go in to the police, but down here here is a very corrupted owrkplace, there is so much mafia is discusting.

  • thanks for the video, this is such a helpful information. even thou am not gonna need it now but am sure will need it in 10 years :P

  • Good job guys! I've really enjoyed your adoption series so far -- You are sharing a lot of good and valuable information.

    I am very happy your guys are doing so much on Youtube! Good job!

    =)

  • You guys are so amazing. Why the most horrible straight people have kids, but it's so hard you can't?

    ..sad world.

  • Just wanted to congratulate you on your beautiful family, and thank you for your courageous videos. It's videos like yours that I wish I had when I was growing up, and the more I see of your family the more I want to share your energy and love with the rest of the world. Sending you lots of appreciation and thanks from Canada!

  • After all of this preparation did you ever think -- wait, maybe this isn't for us? Surely you must have had some doubts and yet you both seem so sure that this was the right thing for you to do (which it was obviously).

  • I wasnt a 100% sure it was the right thing to do untill I met my kids and I saw the Need in their eyes to just be loved and accepted for who they are. From that day forward I have never looked back.

  • Bryans so cute lol

  • Great video. I'm happy that you guys are doing such a great job on telling us how things are tough and how guys take the challenges head on. Plus, you guys are real (meaning honest and how life is and not a movie scenario) and have a great and uplifting personalities. You guys and your family are FANTASTIC!!

    Keep it up, and can't wait to see the next couple of videos.

    (nice kiss Bryan!) ;0)

  • Dude SUPER SUPER interesting!

    So putting this on Facebook - like right now.

  • Excellent video. Wow there were so many components of the adoption process that I had no idea about or never imagined. The profiling, the safety regulations, the advocates, etc. was all eye opening info. It is very comforting to know that these safeguards are in place. Even if one doesn't adopt but has kids one could learn a lot from the adoption agencies

  • Thanks for part two guys.

    I can't explain how brilliant these videos are.

  • Thanks for sharing. Great video. Makes me more confident in wanting to adopt in the future.

  • Great video! Your both such Awesome men and dads! I must say that a 18 minute vidoe is not bad at all for all the information you gave and getting to see you both wasn't bad either for 18 minutes! Thank you both for these videos.

    Take care and stay safe!

  • I always feel bad when they go past 10 minutes but no way to tell this story shorter.

  • I know. I wouldn't care if it was 30 minutes as long as I get to watch you both the whole time! When I am feeling down and I come on youtube and see that you both have made a new video, it just lifts my spirits so too you both I tip my hat to you for helping me through some of my worst days!

    Love you guys! Even though I only know you both threw youtube and facebook.

  • Thank you for the kind words and I Know what you mean there are a few youtubers on here that always life my spirits after a hard day.

  • Please, don't worry about time!

    It's much more important to address every pertinent issue, than to squeeze into some time frame. It's not television, right?

    We are happy to see you longer and more often!

  • lol thank you. We get a lot of comments about the length of our videos. I just dont want to rush thru the video and leave stuff out or feel like we didnt tell the story wright.

  • depfox, this is a serious subject, so really needs its time. It was very interesting to hear all you needed to do going through the adoption process and it also must have helped to lose some fears and insecurities you yourselves might have had about being fit to be a parent (or maybe not), you are great parents. I was impressed by you having to be aware not to trigger the children, and does a social worker at times still comes to visit? Or is that all in the past now (Im guessing it is).

  • Great video !

    Hello from Croatia.

  • That was a great part 2. that was awesome kiss you guy did!!!

  • Imagine what would happen if everyone had to go through this process before having children.

    Hmmm...

  • powerxbyxhope, I thought exactly the same, the world would be a much better place.

  • Awesome 2nd part. Yay!

  • you guys are the PERFECT example of how I want to be with my husband.

  • I'm a gay 21 year old who used to be majorly against gay marriage and adoption. I was brought up being taught that gay adoption was the weirdest thing you could imagine, and the concept of 'dad and dad' was quite frankly laughed at. But as I grew up and formed my own opinions, I realised that there are so many kids in care who never even get a hug, and yes it may be difficult for them at school at times, but surely a kid is better off in a home with 2 dads than in care all alone.

  • Thank You

  • I do hate it that people who don't deserve to raise kids pop out kid after kid while it is a major case for loving families like yours to share your love. I love my sister, but her ex isn't worthy to be a father and if it hadn't been for my parents, neither my niece or nephew would have even a chance in this world.

  • OMG I had NO idea it's that complicated. I hate how rednecks can have like 6 kids in a trailer but you have to jump through so many hoops to get two. i dont understand.

    lol. srsly tho.

  • Thanks for all the info... I hope it will use it at the right time.

    Blessings!!

    P.S.

    You look so sweet when you kiss each other.

    and again... Thanks :D

  • hot dungeon.......and scary....lol....WOW, you guys went through so much...it just shows what wonderful and great dads and people you are

  • p.s and yes the kiss is always great

  • :)  loved the video

  • Great video, guys!

  • I thoroughly enjoy every video your family makes. I'd like to have my own family one day, I'd most likely adopt but It would obviously depend on what my partner and I talked about and decided.

    Thank you.

  • so inspirational.

  • heck yeah first to comment!!!

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