Patton Oswalt - Road Warrior,Depression,Ratatouille Halloween

[Mrpreshutchins]

Louis CK.....Funny! Dave Attell...Funny! Zach Galifianakis...Funny! Hell even Seinfield (YAWN)is funny compared to THIS GUY! YEAH I SAID IT!

[MrKingsmen12]

wow this is funny

[TheSmackerlacker]

So, I just got to ask. Does anyone even realize that saying "I don't own this stuff, I just ripped it off, it actually belongs to those other guys", does NOT, repeat NOT make it legal?

I don't care if you want to rip stuff off, but seriously... do you actually think that's going to work?

It's not.

Try saying that to the cops.

"What? This TV? No, I took it from that store over there. It's cool though. It still belongs to them, I'm just going to take it home and use it."

See what happens.

[BigGuySings]

"Uncle Touchy's Naked Puzzle Basement, You won't wear and a Shirt and you'll Cry"

CLASSIC!!

[MantiswithaVengence]

Don't own copyrights...post video anyway.

[OGAndizzo]

@MantiswithaVengence because that's how we roll on youtube! Intellectual property be damned!

[Mrpreshutchins]

THIS MF IS NOT FUNNY :(

[zacrl1230]

@Mrpreshutchins Then please, by all means, don't watch him.

The rest of us however think he is very funny. So deal with that.

[ubroketherulez]

@Mrpreshutchins that is very untrue....didn't you hear him say do me in the dirt button mohawk?!?! that was effin funny

[DancingSpiderman]

The Oswalt Family Crest should be ... a pair of eyes rolling off to the side, and then... a bag of Cheetos, and then the word fuck...

[siemvandenberg]

One thing I still dont understand is the 'lamest pair of werevolf hands' bit.. anyone explain?

[heavylikeashadow]

@siemvandenberg Like, a very impromptu and poorly thought out werewolf Halloween costume that requires large werewolf hands, and you get lazy and use those poo-bags shaped like finger-less gloves. Because you're full of scotch and weed, and lazy.

[siemvandenberg]

@heavylikeashadow I was afraid that I might have missed something from his repertoire. Maybe because one of his shows is named werewolves and lollipops. But it's just a random joke :)

[taureleafsilver]

"Uncle Touchy's Naked Puzzle Basement" is now what I'm calling every Professor Layton Game. I do not feel awful about this at all.

[tenchi64589]

15 people won't wear a shirt and will cry

[andrewtregoning]

"The Sad Boy" this guy is a pro. a pro.

[superduperlouber]

Anyone who brings back gasoline gets to buttf*ck Sad Boy.

[derek1134]

yeah maybe he should lose a little weight, although he's got an awesome Chaz Bono thing going on right now.

[JFD1220]

Ill take you down to Uncle Touchy's naked puzzle basement hahahahaha

[jimjimmyjames59]

Escutcheon, Patton.



[ThawingOut85]

I LOVE THIS, THANK YOU FOR POSTING! :D

[seans63lemansSD]

Patton is the funniest stand up comic alive IMO

[xSmokeItDown]

Hey I got an idea... lets quote and then thumbs up all the best parts of the video so it's ruined by some random asshole with a keyboard and hearing ability before you even get to hear it!!!!!

GENIUS!

[ometta7]

@xSmokeItDown Hey, I've got a better idea! Let's completely misinterpret a fan's enthusiasm and attempt at showing appreciation for the artist as random dickery because the internet has turned us all into sociopathic retards who assume that everyone else is the same way because we can no longer se past our own personal comfort zone, and then we'll bitch and complain like a bunch of fucking 2-year-olds because we saw a funny line out of context!

EVEN MOAR GENIUS!!!!!!

[Allyspill]

I'm actually watching this with my Remy plushy. So technically I'm hugging and kissing Patton while he's making me laugh.

[ometta7]

@Allyspill That...has got to be the most ADORABLE fucking comment I've EVER read on YouTube! Congratulations, kid. You made me feel something aside from cynical hatred and detached sadism from reading and participating in the comments section. Quite a feat! =D

[Allyspill]

@ometta7 Thank you. Ratatouille is one of my all time favorite movies.  It is how I discovered Patton and now he is one of my favorite comedians. I find it wierd that I like watching him with my Remy plushy. Oh well.

[Waveomancer]

Fuck this, bows and arrows? You didn't say there'd be bows and arrows. GOODBYE.

[Tactless2000]

Patton is a fruckin MASTER...

[jmrbaseball11]

11 people got fucked in the dirt-button.

[XhockeyfightX]

"Do me right in the dirt-button, Mohawk, I don't care!"

[Colleywoodstudios]

christ now im worried hes gonna pull a richard jenny

[bluebook42]

And  they call waterboarding torture?

[toneage7]

my bipolar laughs at this :D

[dovegrey1]

"The Circus Peanuts make it festive!" XD

[macmillain]

10 people like to get it in the dirt button.

[niqhtt]

he sounds like towelie

[ThunderX19]

it was really fun! :D RIP, BLEED, DEMON, POTATO BUG!!!

[LividLobotomist]

My mom said she thought he sucked so I get an emancipation.

[stealthgeek29]

9 people went to Uncle Touchy's Puzzle Basement. 

[JKolman1234]

LMAO... Your pointless copyright disclaimer dosn't make it OK to steal his shit. If copyright actually matters to you, then don't use what aint yours.

I pirate all kinds of shit, but I never say stupid things like "Disclaimer: This ain't mine, I fuckin' stole it!"

If all rights went to Patton, as you say, then he'd be getting royalties from you for distributing his material for free.

Great stuff. Keep it up douche.

[DrStrangefate]

9 people were taken down to the Naked Puzzle Basement

[BGibbs100]

7 people were touched by Uncle Touchy

[lepisar19]

ive seen this so manytimes when it gets 2 uncle touchy i sing it like he does... even in my head randomly i say it like he does lol

[2Nyce4dagame]

lmaooooooo sad boy

[WillShakespeare2007]

Uncle Touchy's Naked Puzzle Basement - just killed me - man, I'm crying and my body hurts from laughing. 

[Laker34]

6 people got butt fucked by mohawk



[zofspade]

You didn't tell me bows and arrows, goodbye.

Love his delivery on that.

[SilvrDragon52]

haha, Puzzle Basement.

I once asked my friend to give me a ride to go get groceries, and I told him to bring me to "Whole Foods Adventure Market." We got there and he said, "Hey... it's not 'Adventure'..."

[pretorious700]

@HeLovesCulture leave the comedy to the professionals

[ftwd3893]

The circus peanuts make it festive!

[CrazyBlonde13]

Must. Watch. Ratatouille. Again. Totally forgot he was Remy! xD

[sflyons]

1:40 - Did he just say "my ass is like a tube of circus peanuts"?

[livewire66]

I am GOATBOY!!!

[Misfitbby]

Patton Oswalt is must be the male version of me, I swear.

[NevrSilent]

The fact that he uses the words 'dirt button' to describe the Road Warrior wasteland anal rape is the icing on the cake. At that point, i think a little pee came out...

[mengle2004]

Hit me right in the dirt button Mohawk.

[Yaotzin]

Your inside of me right now, did you know that?

[drew25kra]

Oh shit! This is looking gooooood!

[mojothemigo]

Oh man, I didn't know Patton had depression. I hope he ok.

[alteregoash]

@mojothemigo i don't know a comedian who doesnt.

[Twizzzle]

"The sad boy getting butt fucked" *Shakes head* roflmfao

[intecrisis]

Welcome to Uncle Touchy's Pizza Joint!

All the kids just love Uncle Touchy's naked puzzle basement! The best indoor underground playground around!

[SpamNapkin]

It was really fun! *RIP, BLEED*

[aca28833]

I don't trust joy loool

[thevgman]

And to think people saw him as children's movie material is hilarious

[Wadewilsondp07]

@thevgman hes not the first remember Bob Saget

[erictolson88]

5 people were did in the dirt button by Uncle Touchy.

[Yaotzin]

I think it's funny that the two highest comments are the same.

[BigBoss20]

Does this washcloth smell like chloroform to you?

[siemvandenberg]

@BigBoss20 doooessn't iit smeeelll liikee chloorooofooorrm?

[DancingSpiderman]

@BigBoss20 His washcloth smells more like a weird bleach BWAAhgahaha

[DarthMastadonP90]

No prozac in the coming wasteland!? Man, I can feel my soul dying.... XD

"Uncle Touchy's Naked Puzzle Basement... You won't were a shirt, and you'll cry..."

LMAO

[kOOsh451]

genius

[kOOsh451]

genious

[busterdog321]

lolz hai evry1 how bot a thumbs up...TO GET THE SAME DAMN QUOTE VOTED OFF....or just give them thumbs down. idk whatever i dont care anymore.

[ThatsALottaMilka]

I just got suspended from my college radio show for playing the Halloween bit on my show in the afternoon.

Kind of derails my plans for playing the "Christmas Shoes" bit later in December.

[Silenus6]

That's not depression, Patton. That's withdrawal.

You're an addict. Google: Dr. Peter Breggin

[lisarenee3505]

He is sooo right about the depression thing (starts around 3:45). When you're chronically depressed, feeling bad becomes "normal", and when you start to feel good, your lower brain kicks in and says "hey wait a minute, this isn't normal! This is different and frightening. Quick, find something to feel bad about & get us back to the state we're used to being in!"

[PeeingMyOwnBlood]

Whoever brings back a gallon of gas gets to butt-fuck the sad boy!

[ernesthelp]

YouTube comment war

[AlaskanYeti]

@ernesthelp war is not pretty...

[LeftyEnright666]

Patton referenced "Wez" and "Road Warrior" on "Reno: 911!" too. Good to know that he worships the classics too.

[LoneMayMay]

Wow thats the same way I see the future lmao! Love Patton Oswalt

[TheAlvinealy]

"Anyone who brings gas gets to butt-fuck the sad boy."

[OzzyFan87]

I'm waiting for a Fallout 1,2,3 world to happen lol.

[tnekkc]

Clearly some people somewhere think Patton is funny.

I don't.

I don't know anyone who admits thinking he is funny or entertaining.

Maybe there are dumb people who have not come out of the closet with their stupidity.

[OzzyFan87]

@tnekkc May i ask who you like?

[tnekkc]

@OzzyFan87 I don;t like them, but I get the most laughs with MY material with I imitate the styles of Jon Stewart or Lewis Black. Those styles punctuate the material with an exaggerated emotion that is like a laugh track... it shows them when to laugh.

As far as liking to listen to comedians, I dislike Margaret Cho more than Patton for not being funny. I like Maria Bamford, Nick DiPaolo, and Russell Peters.

[AUSROTTENY2K]

the face at 7:38 always cracks me up lol

[takemeaway2004]

6:00 Uncle TOuchy

[reckogneb]

god this is good

[lemonrind]

Naked puzzle basement? Sounds like fun!

[ThexJokersxJester]

You and I have our depression routines in common, my dear Patton. XD

[thinedoor2]

"It was really FUN!  *rip*, *bleed*"

[Tehaxis]

".. Your inside of me right now! Did you know that? How bout that."

I loled in my pants.

[Quinntarious]

@Tehaxis

You're a faget

[FourthDerivative]

Wearing your bathrobe for 8 days straight and watching The Princess Bride 11 times in a row. Best description of depression ever.

[Schuytown]

"Go ahead Mohawk, do me in the dirt button. It's all bullshit anyways..." lmao

[FunnyStuffThere]

The sad boy gettin' buttfucked.... lmao.

[kidkillaforilla]

This is terrible, but I'm such a Patton Oswalt fan that I'm actually kind of interested in going to Uncle Touchy's Naked Puzzle Basement.

And yes, this IS totally sarcastic.

[angryscotsman93]

Dude, he should make that whole fuckin' song. I'd pay good money for that CD. :)

[kidkillaforilla]

No kidding. Eliminate the Bob Seager middleman.

[DenOfVipers]

@kidkillaforilla And pointless.

[kidkillaforilla]

@DenOfVipers And your comment is... The Ulysses of Youtube banter? My ass. Shut up.

[DenOfVipers]

@kidkillaforilla NO U

My comments may not literary genius (like they have to be), but I feel better about them than I would "I'd let Patton Oswalt touch me LOL LOL jk." Your ass, indeed.

[kidkillaforilla]

@DenOfVipers Jealous that people actually liked my comment and now desperate for attention? What is with trolls like you that just follow strangers around the internet bitching them out? You're like that clingy ex-girlfriend who never gets the hint. Just shut the hell up and go away. It's that easy. Get a hobby or something. Anything that involves you not talking to me.

[DenOfVipers]

@kidkillaforilla No, because, see, that's one of my many hobbies, getting the last word. If people like you would stop attempting to "put me in my place," I'd have gladly found something else to do.

Your allegory eats dicks, by the way.

[kidkillaforilla]

@DenOfVipers Put you in your place? You're already in your place, asshole. You follow people around online, bitching them out at your leisure. Sounds like you're proud of yourself for being an annoying, friendless and joyless blowhard. Congratulations on finding your calling. Cause you know, getting a life would be too easy. Do this to someone in person and see how long your face stays attached to your body. Idiot.

[DenOfVipers]

Bitch, please. It's my night off and I enjoy watching people like you bandy about with big words. That's talk from a guy who doesn't know thing one. I wouldn't do it to someone in person, because the chances of my hearing "I'd let Patton Oswalt touch me" from an adult in my line of work are astronomically low. So I'm going to politely and joyously address my friends tomorrow, in passing, about the irony of some yutz on the internet using most of the character limit to call me a blowhard. :)

[rootvalue]

@kidkillaforilla Bahaha. GOOD JOB, U SHOWED INTERNET GUY WHOZ BOSS. YOU DA BOSS, KIDKILLAFORILLA. U DA BOZZ.

[dkthg]

@kidkillaforilla Watch your mouth boy. Uncle Touchy don't tolerate sarcasm.

[killthefuckingenemy1]

My ass is like a tube of circus peanuts!!!

[snidelywhiplash]

Really...that was a "WTF??" moment.

[Littlecheffan15]

I love how he talks about the Ratatouille halloween experience. What he says about that was hilarious and so true. Patton is such an awesome guy and comedian!!!

[getemall69]

man if he mad a cd of just those lil songs id buy it lol

[uglymirror]

That "Does this smell like chloroform?" bit is my best pick up line! And he stole it ...

[mymaserati]

still looking for the video of the part where he's talking to his daughter on LSD.. anyone have that?

[ThatsBitch3n]

I love you. thank you!

[happykilojoule]

Uncle Touchy's Naked Puzzle Basement....you won't wear a shirt and you'll cry!

[panzercat39]

@happykilojoule yeah i piss myself every time i see this!

[arugula121]

I can't find this DVD anywhere in town. I'm a sad panda

[killthefuckingenemy1]

I believe if you go to the comedy central website you can find the DVD there