Deadly Addiction - Warning!: May triggor!

[brandonkelly2010]

i cut... this the first time ive told anyone publicly. i cant keep it in anymore.

[bubblesfantasy]

@brandonkelly2010 Well, I'm glad you were able to say it. Does your family know? If not, that's the next step, and the hardest step. I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you can find the strength to get through this. <3

[brandonkelly2010]

@bubblesfantasy my best friend does. and shes helping me with a SIAD program. all i want it to help one person.

[JessILYJ123]

and I don't care how many times you message me, or how many videos I have to make. I wil make SURE that I do my VERY BEST to help each and every one of you.

I know you all don't know be, but consider me the hand in the midst of all the darkness, let me help you all find the beauty in yourselves. The beauty you all deserve to celebrate and be proud of <3

[JessILYJ123]

and when you get to the top of that mountain, you'll look back at all the scars you have and you'll think 'If I can get through all of that without letting go, then I can make it through anything'

But don't let your scars define who you are. Everybody hits rock bottom, but it's the climb that makes you a stronger person. You are all bigger then a 4 inch gash on your wrist, or stomach or leg. You all DESERVE better!

PLEASE, if anyone here would like to talk to me about their issues message me

[JessILYJ123]

Everybody here please read what I have to say, and I mean this with ALL of my heart:

You are all beautiful people. Regardless of your past, race, or sexual orientation. DO NOT let the opinions of others define who you are. People judge, people talk, but it is NOT worth your pain. Please don't inflict pain onto yourselves because of other people's ignorance.

I know things seem rough, and at times unbareable, but just remember, they ALWAYS get better! But you have to try! You WILL make it throug

[cutie256454]

I've lost all of my friends. My best friends called me emo and left. I'm fucking alone and I'm sick of it :/

I just need one person to call me and say "Caitlyn, I care"

No one does that.

[SprinklesMonkey12345]

This feeling inside when you draw the blade across your skin, is more than words can describe, and is the most beautiful feeling in the world

[xXxsporkishxXx]

I'm a recovering cutter i cutted for 2 years until i joined color guad at my highschool and made a friend and found out she once cutted but he has not in several years...she is helping me get through this so far ive gone 3 days without makeing a mark. and i plan to mke that number continue to go up and never stop. to everyone out ther who cuts just kno your not alone and that it doesnt have to end this way. <3

[iowamnbrit]

i know how you feel.....idk how to stop..i go to meetings but the thoughts still come back...

[DAhNiiBaBY69]

i use my razor to shave i broke it and took the blades out or the sharpeners i unscrew the blades things like thaa bu ma frenns took all thaa away so now i use a led pencil but im stopping bcuz im not juss hurting myself bu the ppl around me its hard tho cuz its lik anyother addiction & it sux all my frenns check me now and i feel lik im in prison but its only becuz they love me and don want me to do it but yea so anyone one else who does this please try to stop get help lots of love bubbles :)

[apollorocker]

hey bubbles im in the same boat as you. as for all of you on this page. yall wanna chat start typing to me. stay safe people.

[CheekyMonkeyMoon]

A Razor?

My Friend Said She Used A Knife,

You Mean Like A Razor You Shave With?x

(Just Wondering)

[liilhlaura]

When people use razors, it's mostly razor blades. The ones you put in the thing you use to shave.

[XxLaraForeverxX]

i didn't.

[liilhlaura]

I know it's not everyone, which is why i said "mostly" (;

[SelfMutilatingAngel]

I know how you feel bubbles. I've been self-injuring since i was very little but i only discovered cutting about two years ago. On top of that, i have an eating disorder. The funny thing is, i dont want to stop, i love it. i welcome death. And as for the secret part...I kept it from my entire family for 10 years and by the time i was 14, id just gotten tired of hiding it. Now, once again, its my secret. From all the world.

[stef2kay9]

I am probably going to get a MASSIVE mouthful here from everyone, but here goes its just my opinion. Right, all you lot who say you cut your ARMS and WRISTS - surely, if its your SECRET addiction then you would do it somewhere people couldnt see i cut my stomach and top of legs because its my SECRET OBSESSION it really does sound like a lot of you just want attention. oh and bubblefantasy, love, DONT POST YOUR PAST ABOUT BEING RAPED BY YOUR BROTHER ON HERE youtube aint the place for it

[bubblesfantasy]

For me, posting it on here is helping me get over it. I know it's weird, but it helps. And I don't know about others, but I do cut on my legs, stomach, even the backs of my legs and bottoms of my feet. When I do cut on my arm, I wear long sleeves until the scars blend into old ones and are unnoticable.

[Raquelamithra]

@bubblesfantasy Yeah! I do the same thing but I'm a happy person towards everyone else!! I don't get why I do it but I get these feelings of dying and wanting to hurt myself to get attention I think... I don't have any friends because they're scared of my strong emotions!! I also support my entire family and give them rent, bill payments, etc...and my Dad abandoned us when I hit 19... I'm 30 and still He doesn't care if I support my brother and mother from there drug/unemployment issues.

[XxLaraForeverxX]

@stef2kay9: not every1 does...i did inner calf.

[hachihurricane]

@stef2kay9 I know what you mean but really I cut on my legs, stomach and arms and I cut them when I feel different things... I don't think I am a attention seeker I was too impulsive and cut my arms because of being suicidal. People may say that cutting on arms is not a secret but i think it depends if they hide them or not when I was younger i cut only my arms and i wasnt found out for 2 years. I wouldnt just make a assumption everyone has there reasons for self harm be a little respectful.

[xPinkxIsxPunkx]

@stef2kay9 not true, actually. Most people self harm on their arms the first time because it's accessable. And ocne you do it ocne, your body begins to crave that pain on that perticular part of the body.

Doing it once on an area like the stomach, you would crave the pain on your stomach. Most self harmers don't plan on doing it in the first place, and when it happens, your arms are easier to cut. Plus, for some self harmers, it's more about blood flow. Hence the vains.

[evolk8]

@stef2kay9 Seriously dude even if you are hiding it, it doesn't make it any more justifiable as a secret addiction. My friend who self harmed told me she went for her arms because they were literally the closest place to tear to shreds when she needed it then and there. And if people are using self harm as a cry for help or "attention" then that only goes to show how neglected they are in the first place. People that cut their arms and wrists are likely to have just as many problems as you.

[TheUnknownWonder]

@stef2kay9 ik watcha mean, its logical to do it wer it'l be least visible, but ther comes a time whn u dun get da chance 2 think wth u doing. i do it on my thighs, but one night the light went out but still wantd 2 cut, i assumed i was cuttin w/ da old cluster (wher d old cuts r) bt turned out it was much closer to my knee than expected, like, it cud b seen w/ a swim suit on. luckily it was minor surface, n barely visibl now, smtimes its uncontrolable, n not evry1 plans ahead like u n me.

[MegaBieberGirls]

@stef2kay9 wrists are a good place to get to, easier.

[NinjaPuhlease]

Just a little advicee!

I used to have the same problem! Luckily

I stopped before it was too late! Usually what is

the problem is either friends, lack of feeling love, or

your boyfriend is bringing you down! so if that's any of

the reasons get rid of them! and what can help a lot

is instead of cutting get a rubber band and just snap

yourself when you get the urge. It helps a lot and

eventually it will stop! I promise! :] I hope this helps! XD

[bubblesfantasy]

Hehe. This is the part I love - I started cutting because my brother beat and raped me, my parents are drunks who fight all the time, and I was almost kicked out of my house for being a lesbian. On top of all of that I have five anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, and severe clinical depression, diabetes, and kidney failures. I've tried rubber bands and I always ended up snapping them so hard it would break the skin anyway. So, that's why it's so hard for me to stop.

[mypainisme]

are any of the pictures yours?

like your cuts and stuff...

[bubblesfantasy]

No but I have pics of ones when I first started cutting in Self-Injury - My Story.

I've done a lot more since those pictures though...

[kbe3ify]

my cousin has recently been getting worse and im scared that something really bad is gonna happen she has gone to cutting her legs and her feet and i was wondering if u think that it would be good to show her this video or do u think it will just send her over the edge?........thanx for listening.

[bubblesfantasy]

I completely agree with you. When I was hospitalized, all of the other cutters there did "artificial cuts" as the doctors call them. I had twenty stitches. =/

[veramele]

what do they mean by artificial cuts??

[FuCKuP2]

I usedto be into cutting, Have Scars all the way up and down my left arm n I know what its like but the way I got out of it........I got over it and realised that its pathetic, now if you have like a Medical depression and you cut, Fine I understand but if you are faking depressin and you have a good life and you cut, Fuck off!

[rawrz89]

i used to cut.. its really hard when it starts to control your life.. if you need to talk just message me

[geez5557]

I honestly don't see why people that leave hate comments do so. They don't know WHAT we go through, or yell at us and say it's not that bad, and get over it. And label us as emo's. Not ALL emo's cut. Some do. Some ORDINARY people do it. It's NOT just CERTAIN people CAN or CAN NOT do it. Take a mile in our shoes and see if it's that easy to stop, and just get over what over shadows our life. Yes I cut, I try to stop. It's just not something you can stop, that's like.. hm for exampe. say.

[bubblesfantasy]

Exactly. People like tensixfifty09 need to just shut the fuck up.You can't talk about something you know NOTHING about. Ugh. Soooo many things are pissing me off today, it's not even funny.

[tensixfifty09]

all of you who cut should CUT MORE :) cut deeper, harder and faster and take pictures of it so i can laugh at you. and when that starts to get boring please take your daddys gun and point it to ur dome and blow u fuckin emo bitch brains out, and once again please have it on camera so i can see it all :D thank you bye

[bubblesfantasy]

Sure thing, I'll get right on that.

*/sarcasm*

Jackass.

P.S. It would help if you spell out your words.

[CK12992]

hey, i've been through it all too, fell free ro message me if you need to talk, i've gotten to be a good listener, lol

[cutedramaqueen5555]

i almost killed my self by doing that i was rushed to the hospital

[kbe3ify]

my cousin cuts...shes like my sister..i dont think what was happening really hit me untill i seen ur video..now i no that i should just listen to wat she has to say..and give her all the luv i can give here...i was depressed for about a year i never tried cutting but i thought about downin some pills but i never had enough guts..i just want to say that ur video is really enspiring and i hope other people see that

[bubblesfantasy]

Thank you. I'm sorry about your cousin. As much as I'd like to say that it gets easier, I have not yet experienced that. It's been six months since my last hospitalization, and as a manic depressive bipolar paranoid schizophrenic (yes that's a lot to keep track of), my moods do get better occasionally, but the urge to cut never stops. After a while, you can suppress it, but it's just never enough. Thank you for trying to understand, and for watching my video.

[laceymichelle32002]

I've cut for almost a year and half and I've been depressed for 2 years.

I've just about gotten through the cutting.

I rarely do it anymore. Although I do scratch myself...a lot.

I can't seem to stop myself.

Its just when I get that numb I need to feel.

To feel the pain...let me know that I'm still alive

and that my heart is still beating.

I like to tell myself that I'll look back on this one day and laugh, but then I get numb again.

And nothing matters.

[CrazyChic228]

trust me i understand. i have so much going on. i've been depressed for 5 years and cutting for 4. i even attempted suicide 3 times. now i'm trying to stop, buts its just become a habbit, an addiction. pain to me means to cut. i want to stop. i just, i just dont have a reason.

[apollorocker]

great video i like your poem it descirbes how i feel thaks

[kikske13]

I try to stop,

but I can't,

everytime I and up with a razor in my hand and blood running down on my arm...

rubberbands don't help me.

I don't know what to do anymore

please help!

[purplechick13]

im on a temporary stop for this thing. but as soon as i can i know im gonna start self harming again...its getting harder and harder, am i just weak?

[apollorocker]

youre not weak its a battle we all have to go through sadly there is no telling what will happen.

[pokemon19285]

your not weak:) these feelings that we go through are just Obstacles we have to somehow get through. i tired to kill myself and ive tried to self harm but i just break down in tears. im hear to help if anyone needs it :)

[LionandtheLamb2008]

I cut, and I wanna stop, but it seems like I can't. I hate cutting but at the same time I love it.. It't the one thing in my life I have control over... I cut to release the emotions that I can't verbalize..

Great video =)

[heluvagoodgurlie08]

i dont want to say that i dont cut anymore, because it has only been a month and some odd weeks and i STILL have urges to do it and i actually want to right this moment ; which would be why im watching this now ; i just need to let people know that they aren't alone and that there is hope ; listen to saosin 'you're not alone' ; it helps me alot!! :]] <3 much love to all who need it!!

[scilenceXgurl]

im like this now... and i h8 it it does suck...

[sheilash]

you are loved. i promise. i know exactly how u feel...i have been there. i am therre. trying to escape.

[notxthexprettiestx]

what did you mean by "may triggor"?

[Aserette94]

"May trigger" Means that some people may want to hurt themselves after watching this video.

[irishwemo]

It's a good video bubble =D

[thewayshefeels18]

thanks! and yeah i tried the rubberbands..still do that sometimes. but i'm really trying to stop hurting myself altogether because it's like they say..one thing leads to another and i don't want to go back to cutting, you know what i mean?

[thewayshefeels18]

in 5 days i will have gone 10 months without cutting myself. it's not easy. i still have thoughts of suicide and how good it would feel to just cut the pain away, but i resist. i just have maintained the willpower through therapy and supportive friends and most importantly God. stopping is possible. you just have to give it all you've got and you'll succeed. :)

[IxWannaxBexAxNINJA]

good for you!

-not sacastic- i dont know if this will help,

but instead of cutting...

maybe ping rubberbands against your skin?

[Demidollar]

Oh poor you :(. i would hate that so much.

[moodymare03]

i got founnd ouut that i was doing it at school and now i have to be searched everydaay :(

[emogal4ever]

OMG!! i am battleing with the same deadly addiction, it is soooo hard to stop. i wish i could just throw away the blade, but it seems like i can't let go. sometimes i am so close to telling someone and i just hav to get it out so i write poetry, but yet i still seem to cut. i could never stop except for tha fact if i don't i'll die and i don't want to do that. do u know how i can stop this addiction??

[PiRocks777]

its so hard i mean even @ school i feel the urge to bring out my knife and....yeah....behind the book or sumthing. how did u all stop?

[bubblesfantasy]

I know what you mean. I do cut at school.

I haven't stopped. At least not yet. I'm going back to the psych ward again soon.

Hopefully it will help this time.

[xxBlackDragonessxx]

people neva put a saftey pin thru your hand or a blade thru ur lip it is so hard to hide-

in fact neva cut cause the bloody thought of it will neva leave u alone

[supersockwoman]

there is so much you can do... don't give up <3 i know how it is, and i know how hard it is to stop.. but you aren't alone and you CAN change. i'd been doing it for +7 years and i've gotten the help to stop... throw away your razors. it was the most important step for me. i couldn't even throw them away; i had to have someone physically take them from me.

[kimy190]

Im a 13 year old who self harms. only yesterday was i up in my bedroom cryin my eyes out thinking of how i could commit suicide...i have 73 cuts up my arms and legs. i normally take 20 minutes in the bath. i always wear long sleeves and neither my parents or relatives know...please help me before its too late...x

[bubblesfantasy]

tell your parents. It's the first step to getting help. It may be hard to do, but it you will be glad in the end.

[XxXkryingx4xuXxX]

i was 12 when i stated cutting you can really talk to me if u need to im here ok and the best ting u can do is tell somone u trust i know its the scariest but if they rlly love u they will help and i doint know u but i know how u feel i feel the same way its ok u can make it out alive plz mssg me

[chilleliz]

ive beem cutting since before i can remember its always been my way of releasing pain and other things ive locked up inside my mom knows about it but she doesnt care no one realy cares everyday i wonder weather it would be better to just die.....but my aunt keeps me together so do my friends

[LoveAriel13]

I have been a cutter since 7th grade and I now recently am forcing myself to stop b/c my mom found out. It has been soooo hard and I almost gave in yesterday but I knew if my mom found out again I would be screwed and my life would be ruined. Right now I am having some major emotional problems b/c of this guy & I almost broke down crying like 20 times yesterday at school. Now I'm ignoring him to try to forget but I just can't. If anybody needs any help at all I'm here to talk to. :)

[XxXkryingx4xuXxX]

omg my mom found out 4 times i think its so hard i told her like 5 days ago about my legs they were deep major scars i hate how worried they are thats why i dont wanna say ne thing i dont wanna scare her :(*

[secretcutter]

great video i have been cutting for almost 12 years since i was eight anyway good luck

[KeepOnCrying1]

Omg that actually made me cry,

Ive been sh for a yr now, and it is like bein trapped in a cage.

And u r best off not startin coz it wrecks ur life, and then once u start its like the only thing u can think about, whens the next time.

its almost now for me is like a routine,

it ruined my life

so dont let it ruin yours

[randomer896]

oh my god... this is like i made this vid... it tells the story of my life the way it tells yours. god, i so want to get to know you better..

together we can fight this.

[pikachusurf]

PROFESSIONAL.

THERAPY.

Don't complain about money or shit, cause your life is worth more than a hundred bucks an hour or laziness or WHATEVER THE FUCK your excuse is for not actually doing something about your problem.

[XxXkryingx4xuXxX]

my family really actually dosnt have the mony my mom\dosent care enough any way i want help so bad and i told er and showed her but she judt says o itll get better but she dosnt det that it only gets worse and she acts like a problem im 13 and im spending my money on butterfly bandaids and razor blader paper clips any thing sharp i use my finger nails somtims so u need to shut the fuc up i doubt u even know what ur talking bout

[piercedaj]

Kryijgx4xu,

please write to me.

[XxXkryingx4xuXxX]

my mom is paying attention now she saw the cuts on my legs and now she realizes how bad it was :) so i really wanna but im trying to stop

[XxXkryingx4xuXxX]

no my family really dosnt have the money so my mom and i are going through this togerther now my real mom not the step

[amaurea3000]

I have no pictures of my scars. Is it so wrong to believe in these pictures, and to use them to tell your own story?

[bubblesfantasy]

Ummmm...I'm not sure what you mean, but it's not at all wrong to use pictures to tell your story, whether they're yours or not. I used these picture because at this time, I had no camera. I have a video with my own pictures up now, it's the "me you and my medication" one if you want to see it. =/

[helpplease08]

3 years of this shit...and yet im still doing it..im soo confused..u kno.?..its my drug. my addiction..its like i want to stop..but i love it..if that makes any since at all..good vid. thanks

xx-meg

[bubblesfantasy]

Of course it makes sense. I've self-injured for three almost four years. I keep telling myself that I'm going to stop, but I never do. Part of me doesn't want to. I hope you stop in the future. <3

[demmural]

i cut for about a year and a half i tried to stop many times before but eventually i did its now been a year and four months since i last cut it does get easier to deal with

[bubblesfantasy]

Congratulations! It's been about aa few days since the last time I cut, and it was two months before that. I'm getting there, but it's slow, and agonizing, but I know it will be worth it in the end.

[demmural]

thanks

and it is worth it im proud of myself for making it that long i still want to sometimes but not nearly as bad as i did when i first stopped

[666emeth]

i m'a cutter to and know what yourgoing thru i'm currently in the process of stoping i wishus both luck

[Vicky5621]

Hey, the video was amazing. I loved it. And i'm a cutter too. I understand the addiction and challenge we face. Stay strong. Once you resist the "temptation" for a while, you feal better and then it gives you another reason to stop. Just hang in there!

[bubblesfantasy]

thanks. =]] I'm sorry you had to go through all this. I've been struggling for three years. It's great to know that you understand, and thank your for you support. It really means a lot. =]]

[saralinx]

This is a well done video, I'm a cutter too and I really understand what you are going through. Stay strong!

[hoopsgirl88]

Ihad a cutting problem but I got rid of it.. Therefore I kno for a fact you can too!...Good luck!

[666Sesshomaru666]

sweets just call if you get that feeling you know im here for you

[bubblesfantasy]

And that's why I love you. =P

[evilsmileyface666]

Stay strong, hon. I know it's hard, but you can do it. I know it.

And both the poem and video were very good.

Good luck,

-Evilsmileyface666 >: )

[bubblesfantasy]

thanks =]]

[bubblesfantasy]

Well, me has a question to those of you who actually read comments.

I have been contemplating having my mom watch this video, as well as the other one I have made.

Do you think this is a good idea?

She knows I cut, but I haven't told her why or anything like that.

Advice please?

[reven787]

I think you should. she might understand better if you show her this. but it is up to you

[reven787]

i know it is not my place to ask but i was owndering if you had shown your mom the vidos?

and how are you doing?... if you don't mind me asking..

[bubblesfantasy]

yes, I showed her the videos. I don't mind you asking. Actually, it makes me feel better to know someone cares. I have been doing better. About 2 months without cutting. I feel pretty good, actually. Triumphant, I suppose. =]]

[reven787]

that's great! =) I'm really happy for you. =) that must be very hard for you, this sounds wired i know but im proud of you =)

[bubblesfantasy]

It doesn't sound wierd at all! Thanks. =]]

[reven787]

anytime =)

[warblefish]

have you told her yet? if you have, i'd like to tell you how brave you are, feelings like these are hard for others to understand. and if you haven't, i think you should, she'll be grateful for an insight into how to help you. whatever happens, good luck.

[warblefish]

i forgot to say in my last comment, but your poem is really good. x.

[bubblesfantasy]

thanks.

[Thesescarsdefineme]

Good luck with the stopping. I believe you can do it. It will be hard, but hang in there.

[SawHappy]

Get help NOW!! Help one way or the other. STOP!! Go to the nearest shelter or other protective place, just not the cops. Or, just end it your self.

[reven787]

keep hanging in there... it is hard put i know u can do it... maybe u should try talking to people about it... like cloes frineds or family... i hope u brake the hapid... don't give up