Onion News: Apple to release the iHand

[NickyAmerica]

They should have the iPenis.

[Uub141Forever]

So does anyone know if it's any good for masturbation? I'm getting mixed answers here.

[DEATHBYFLYINGCDS]

@Uub141Forever Sorry but apple does not support porn, and believes that porn viewers are bad people. No this is not a parody I'm paraphrasing steve jobs.

[Uub141Forever]

@DEATHBYFLYINGCDS I'm not talking about viewing porn, just stroke and rubbing oneself. :x

[Lunchsacks]

I came here expecting a joke about how he couldn't open a door because the door isn't an official apple product or something like that. lol

[JSasRays]

why does it turn me on when brooke says "yeah of course" at the end?

[SuperWarking]

@JSasRays Because.



[Deadiousness]

Lmao

[soccerdude120]

I bet jerking off would be awkword

[CaptainSpellingError]

and then they release they iHand4s, which is .012 ounces lighter, does an additional two things, and cost far more.

[AwesomeAddictNo1]

aww, darn it. i don't have enough for it, and just after i sawed off my hand! :) LOL

[Weetbix1969]

well now im screwed, i cut off my right hand before going to get my ihand just to find they were only released as a left hand - BUGGER!!!!!

[Solidenoch]

@djtrixen There will be a conveniently placed Share on Facebook button right underneath the play button too won't there?

[USA4July1776]

"Yeah, of course."

[h0rnd0917]

LMAO Taima.... I guess its worse than givin your left nut for one of those

[PowerStruggle555]

Oh goodie...now where is a very good saw....ah here is one. Ok something to bit into...check...something to wrap around my arm...check...something scorching hot to carax the wound...check...Im getting myself an IHand