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From: CBS
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  • Wanna hear a funny one? "Tube search Singer Auditions on Answering Machine, Funny Phone Message" Warning some adult language.

  • and here i was thinking 13.5k vids was the most. way to top machinima CBS.

  • skid ad thing doesent work anymore ...

  • 0:00 to skip ad....

  • tear this twat a new asshole please! she is the end of our country if she gets any power. stop the teabaggers.

  • 0:00

    

  • fuck cbs.

  • @jarethmd

    fuck fox.

  • Oh my GOD CBS's bloody ads never load so I can't watch the video!!! I don't care if there are ads, but at least make sure they work, morons!

  • Hi it's Sarah...oops...dialed my own number XDDD

  • If ads bother you so much, use firefox and download the plugin, adblock plus.

  • i dont have any adds cause i installed Chuck Norris anti adds program

    ( Chuck Norris anti adds program may not exist it was only use for comical porpurses if you download a program with this name and its a virus dont blame it on me )

    OH fuck now iam talking like in an add :(

  • @PsicoticSquirrel It's ok bacause it has to do with Chuck Norris.

  • fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck adddds

  • i hate these ads.. but dexter is the best show ever

  • [Dang] haters. (Totallyfizzle).

  • @JeffHendrie

    You mad?

  • @Totallyfizzle Why would I be? XD In some cases, you're right... (depending on the case...) lol

  • Rocky and Bullwinkle yay

  • 0:01

  • Hey guy's McCain speaking, uhhhh, why was I commenting again?

  • she is such a smartypants. A quitter. It would be a joke if she was president.

  • california does not need a new governer..

  • @tommybearz420 How do you like him now? "I'll be back." ...thankfully not.

  • is it just me? ...not a single laugh out of this whole bit...

  • @twebb72 Yes, it's just you.

  • HAHA #3

  • #1: Hi, this is the ten Americans who can actually think, just want to say you're a stupid-ass cunt.

  • stupid dems ruine this country

  • @trainfreak7745 hey im pretty sure you guys ran this country into the ground for 8 years

  • @trainfreak7745 did we also "ruine" the dictionary?

  • @Totallyfizzle I'm a republican and I'm not a bible thumper.

  • @atlbeatles1fan

    Sorry to offend, I didn't choose my words very well. I actually meant the crazy, bible-belt Conservatives who will blindly rally behind any candidate who appears publicly as a good Christian. I didn't mean to insult the average Republican.

  • @Totallyfizzle Don't worry, the average Republican insults themselves just by existing without anybody else needing to.

  • @Totallyfizzle "Republicunt" I like it

  • @Totallyfizzle yeah go right ahead u Demicock jackasses

  • @goedertlord234

    The national dept quadrupled under Reagan/Bush Sr. And doubled again under Dubya. Whenever Obama tried to pass a stimulus bill or help the average American in general, the GOP filibustered it to death. The GOP wants to raise the retirement age and provide tax-cuts for the wealthy with leaving the the public to rot. The GOP rules by fear-tactics, it's just a fact. DEATH PANELS. COMMIE-OBAMA. MUSLIM OBAMA. FOREIGN-OBAMA. Just more bullshit the GOP feeds you, and you say, "MORE"!

  • @Totallyfizzle The GOP filibustered nothing...the Dems had super-majority in the senate before 2010. The truth of the matter is, 90% of politicians are corrupt and greedy. Then, 4% are Dems, 4% are GOP, and 2% are Independents.

  • @Totallyfizzle Excuse me? My grandma's a republican, my dad is, my grandpa was (before he died), great grandma, great grandpa... (I'm neither Democrat OR Republican)... so... watch your mouth bucko.

  • @JeffHendrie

    I will say what I please. If you looked back in the comments, you would see that I am not insulting the average conservative.

  • @Totallyfizzle Ah, thank you for that correction, I somhow did not see the other pages. (All I saw was that there was one page), I did not, therefore notice the other pages. Again, thank you for that correction.

  • @JeffHendrie

    It's all good.

  • i hope you idiots realize that the republicans and democrats are the same party. they are both systematicly destroying your constitution and bringing you fascism. thats why nothing ever changes from one administration to the next. read history books people, and more importantly learn what the banking institutions are doing to enslave you.

  • @MOTORHEADACHE88 yes...and fuck the "NWO"...

  • Top 2 messages on Dave Letterman's answering machine:

    1. "Regina who"

    2. "Hi Dave, its your marriage counselor. Boink any interns this week?"

  • i love #10!

  • flakbac -- ever notice that Sarah Palin gives like 50x the ammo than any other politician?

    The fact that you'd post what you just did, ruins your credibility. Why don't you think for a second?

  • @JGL53 then i guess they dont vsuck cuz palin doesnt hav one

  • @gillespieQMA get the fuck out of here you right wing cunt

  • @jcmoovee come your tits buddy im not saying im a big fan of palin either

  • Nalin Palin.

  • lol that was great

  • Dave is still working and Sarah quit working.

  • then dont watch him...

  • funny. for once I smiled at his jokes 5/5

  • Letterman is always funny

  • @leemayh Don't even talk to those crazy religious nuts. They are fucking lossed in life.

  • this is an answering machine

  • Man I think Sarah Palin invented dumb.

  • what makes her dumb?

  • her brain for u genetics

  • whatevr,

  • Funny as hell.

  • Leno was terrible. If Letterman was given the spot years ago NBC would have been a Global Super Power. "Gotta go with him now" - lol Leno was a joke and just an unfunny kiss ass.

  • Not a fan of Conan?

  • hahaha #3 and #10 was the best

  • Letterman is just another liberal.

  • 67 seat SuperDuper Majority in 2010? Yes We Can

  • hehe number 10 is awesome, should have been number 1!

  • I <3 Number 2. We seriously need a new one. Schwarzenegger SUCKS.

  • anyone can explain #8 about argentina?

  • no.

  • Don't let up, Dave. Expose this lady for what she is, a joke.

  • the McCAIN ones were freakin hilarious

    and the letterman are we cool?

  • Silly Sarah Palin is a joke.

  • Nimber 1.- "Hey, it's Barack... yea, I'm a fuck-up, but I bought a new teleprompter today"

  • Number #1- "Hey it's JimboVids....I'm a moron who can't even spell the word "number" correctly, does this make me dumber than you Sarah?"

  • JimboVids = fail

  • PaleWhiteBoy=Win.

  • could some1 tell me if arnold is a good governator?

  • Palin is a douchebag.

  • One more: He's it's Barack. Can you believe I've actually done less than you have Sarah for my citizens and made plenty of boneheaded moves; yet they keep picking on YOU?

  • Wow, you're a comedic genius, Letterman should hire you to be a writer.

    Also, could someone please tell me why Palin-supporters never seem to be able to spell things correctly or use proper grammar?

    I know it's just a video comment, but still... How can you mess up spelling "Hey" and who the hell uses semi-colons instead of commas??

  • That was not funny.  Comparing the two is like comparing Corky from Life Goes On to Einstein. Loser

  • Palin & Creationists

    "The Earth is only 6,000 yrs old"

    Then how do we have diamonds that take almost a billion years to create.

    America the Stupid!

  • playboy here she comes...

  • I thought they were good, when I saw that he was doing more Palin jokes, I was like "Oh crap what is he going to get himself into this time!"

  • i laughed once...

  • haahahahah.

    Great!

  • Letterman some big balls!

  • This guy is friggen funny! Check his videos /watch?v=mmLFzEGgHJA I dont have any videos, im not advertising. This dude is real funneh.

  • Fred cant beat this, this guy is friggen funny! Check his videos /watch?v=mmLFzEGgHJA I dont have any videos, im not advertising. This dude is real funneh.

  • He will RAPE them with his MOUTH! :o

  • #3 is the only one that made me laugh..

  • Obama's the Antichrist announced by the IL Lottery.

    I received death threats for spreading this from heartfortibet aka LetsNotBeL7 aka haltmusic (Joe Hamilton, from Freising town, near Munich, Germany; a mentally unhinged individual; report him to the FBI, the police and U Tube.)

  • Luckily the idea of an "anti-christ" is only specific to one of the countless religions you can find on this planet, and those of us who do not subscribe to the Christian faith, or any faith at all can be at peace knowing that the idea of an "anti-christ" is just a fairy tale from one of many fairy tales.

    I'd prefer people didn't think the end of the world was approaching. Because that mindset itself is what spurs humanity towards its own demise.

    Drop the ancient superstitions already.

  • kaikou, your stupidy is stupendous. Evil in one religion would be OK in another. Eating shit is bad in all religions moron.

    you're an intolerant is what u r. Do u ever think ? Nope. Doubt that very seriously.

  • and what if your wrong? what if people have been warning you about the "anti-christ" or the end of the world and you chose to believe in your own reality, and you come to find out that what you denied ended up being reality.

    Remember, the whole world thought the earth was flat at one point, and the fact the earth was round was a fairy tale.

  • And what if your wrong? If Zeus is God...You go to hell. If Krishna is God...You go to hell. If Allah is God...You go to hell. If Thor is God...You go to hell. If Poseidon is God...You go to hell. If Ra is God...You go to hell If Jupiter is God...You go to hell Etc.. (Different versions of hell, but similar enough nonetheless) What if God is a scientist and values rationality and reason above all else. Would he punish me for believing in fairy tales and things that have no logical foundation?
  • well the fact that jesus was based on the lesser known egyptian sun god horas.and the birth of jesus and horas is solely astrological. if you dont belive me watch the movie zeitgeist. the bible and other books such as the kuran where written for total control over the people. just look at what is going on in the middle east. but the same happens in christianity just look at the catholic church.its weird how brainwashed people say im crazy because i know their wasnt a man named jesus christ.

  • you watched zeitgeist and believed it?

  • not the whole entire movie,but it made me research more topics. such as ancient mythology and ancient cultures. and it really changes your views on life in general. but i would rather listen to that movie than sarah palin. i know its based on conspiracy but if you think about it life is a conspiracy.

  • very true statement

  • dave did sarah

  • There's plenty of funny in this top 10.

  • Not his best...not by far

  • top 10 was never really funny, more of a tradition

  • i thought 10th was funniest

  • Dave is still hilarious. You just have to have dave's sense of humor to get it. I hope he keeps on doing his show for a LONG time.

  • hey lol i only like 40 miles away from wahoo, lol

  • Me too! Are you as bored as I am LOL!

  • watch?v=W35BZjLMfIY

    techno dance

  • this guy just isn't funny... well number three was pretty good.. BUT his show blows and conan is blowing him out of the water.. time to hang it up dave

  • fuck out of here fuck u fuck conan and fuck ur stupid mother

  • lol i remember when i first learnt how to cuss too

  • eat a dick nigga

  • ummm i'm white... and no i will not eat a dick. thank you for your concern though.

  • lol

  • hahhaha... ownd

  • Comment removed

  • These are jokes, they are not personal attacks. I'm willing to bet that if you see someone killed in a movie you go out and petition for the actor to be arrested...?

    Letterman does many of these Top Ten's... not even 1% are about Palin.

  • He attacked her before and he's attacking her now because she is a THREAT to the "change"

  • i liked the last and the first one the most lol

  • That shit was hilarious.

  • is not

  • Conan O Brien Is Better!!!

  • dave is hilarious

  • she will fade into oblivion... not soon enough

  • I farted

  • lol

  • Loved Letterman in the late 80sIts 2009!

  • that was pretty stupid...

  • LOL

  • how funny

  • It's only funny to people who think Sarah Palin is a joke (most everyone)

  • Sarah Palin is PATHETIC!!! She talks about how she's not a quitter--& she's QUITTING as governor. WHY won't she go away? As far as people saying she is "beautiful," give me a fricking break! Alaska women must be butt-ugly if Palin was a beauty queen. (& she was!!!! (rolls eyes))

    The only thing good that ever came from Palin's noteriety is TINA FEY's impersonations on SNL!

    Buh-bye Palin! Don't let the door hit you on the way out (on 2nd thought PLEASE let it hit you!) :o)

  • you need anger management

  • gee what no bruno ad in this one?