Noah's Ark (part 1 of 2)

[ArtypNk]

Noah was a Titan...

[SpartanCarver]

Central America

Central what?! Ahahaha

[zzm55]

lol i got an ad for getting a bible degree a fucking bible degree hahaha

[iainhead]

Wooden boat with 4000 species of termite on board :-)

[Unicron4ever]

20,000 feet high of extra water... That'll take care of the "freezing area" problems.

[Neylonx]

almost crying with laughter :'D

[Amernee]

I love this!

[MrInfidelX]

4:46 Until that point, I thought the bearded man was god.

[Matty6660]

Christianity is so stupid...

[furshizzeliser]

Holy crap, this is good. Great job, guys.

[AntarcticW0LF]

@furshizzeliser Its one guy, he uses a pitch changer

[eak19]

So funny!!

[ahopele]

@samchelms Yes it rained for 40 days but the flood remained for a year if I remember Genesis correctly.

[afornase22]

Lol funny. Thank you for the hard work you put into this. I hadn't actually thought about the parasite dilemma before viewing this vid.

[samchelms]

it wasn't a year that it rained, only 40 days.



[NotDuncan]

Thumbs up if you're a hipster, I mean were here before Neil deGrasse Tyson's tweet.

[haykoch]

would be great if there were subtitles !!

[glazinq]

Hate to be picky but surely if the praying mantises had just mated they should be pretty safe regardless of whether or not the male just had his head bitten off. Just sayin...

[NathanWubs]

@glazinq what if all the next birth was all female?

[JamesThWilliams]

Noah turning into a hopeless alcholic is the only part of this story that is plausible.

[allfitch84]

This video is hilarious! wow!

[Tremari0]

I shared some of these facts with a few christians and asked how they would get around these problems...They said, "umm, god just magicked it or something." They were dead serious too. :/

[KanyeAirJordans]

@Tremari0 Which further proves the theory that religion causes major delusion.

[NoRoomForMrCockup]

One word to this: genius.

Also, go Aussies!

[100sunbeams]

- "Dad! Dad! The praying mantises just mated and the female bit the male's head off!"

- "Ugh, and I was going to make a helmet for him tomorrow morning too."

ROFL, haha~

[LordofN00bs]

And.. this is why any intelligent christian would believe in at least some form of evolution. Funny, though.

[iSoldMySoul2ThaDevil]

@LordofN00bs intelligent christian? that's an oxy-moron if I've ever heard one

[MrIrishBilly]

Good work it should played at the start of every Dawkins debate as a warm up

[InquiringDeist]

This video is amazing. Great work! 

[RyanMatthias]

pretty sure we aren't supposed to take that story literally ...

[LorenBane2]

@RyanMatthias So, if it isn't literal, what is it? And we can't take that literally, what else is just a metaphor/parable?

[RyanMatthias]

@LorenBane2 that's a tough question. i think the old testament is mostly mythological. the gospels are more historical to my knowledge. i regard the bible and most all religious texts as gifts from which i can acquire wisdom and knowledge but this does not mean that i necessarily build my life around them or regard them as precisely reflective of history.

[PirateMonkeyFilmz]

@RyanMatthias You're not supposed to, but unfortunately people do anyway. Honestly, the Bible really should make it clear which parts are supposed to be true and which aren't.

[superman72268]

Wow, nvm, it just stopped

[superman72268]

It keeps stopping at 0:55.

[urantivirus]

"The bible says you only have to bring two of every KIND, not species. And it only says to bring animals that breath through their nostrils."

Idiot Christian Moron

.

Still a hilarious video! And the second argument mentioned would leave many "kinds" extinct. Which includes fish and just about every invertebrate and plant known to man.

[KeistasZmogelis]

@urantivirus The "kinds" bit was talked about in part 2.

[NeuralSimulation]

Umm. Holy shit. Pun intended.

[jontibloom]

Maybe this situation might explain why 99.9% of all species on earth have gone extinct ....maybe they went extinct on the Ark ?

[karstd]

@jontibloom Meaning that all of today's estimated 8.7 million species only accounted for .1% of the ark's starting number of animals? So he put 8.7*10^9 pairs of animals on there.. which would be 1.74*10^10 individual animals... Most estimates say we've probably only found 20% of species so that changes the final # to 8.7*10^10 animals... You can't be serious.

[jontibloom]

@karstd The figure varies from about 95% to 99.9% of all species that there have ever been have gone extinct. When you think the amount of time life, in some form has been on earth - around 3 billion years. That is more than enough time for billions of species to have gone extinct. Remember we are not just talking of higher species such as mammals but of all species including viruses and bacteria.

[Sinfulhowl]

Creationists try to explain the Extinction of Dinosauars but Have yet to hear any of them explain the extinction of the Mammoth the Direwolf and the Sabretooth tiger.Were these animals on the ark and how and when did they go extinct.Also what about The Tanis bird the American lion and not forgetting the Megladon shark

[80085lolful]

@Sinfulhowl the Direwolf is not extinct, they just live north of the wall

[AtlanticZealot]

Central What?!?

[OscarBrasa]

Dr. Tyson most probably got the idea from Dr. Harris (Tyson one day after Harris).

Love them both though.

Tyson also wrote a few good words about one of Harris' books (the e-book "Lying").

[napendakenya]

...and they all have to wear muzzles or that would be the excintion of that species, wouldn't it!

[TweekMorgan4dictator]

Kinda reminds me of Ricky Gervais... Is that just me, because I'm American?

[nowayjoseph]

Couldn't he just bring two of every animal, but not every species, and just let them evolve afterwards.

[NathanWubs]

@nowayjoseph Nope, because there would not be enough gentic diversity.

[nowayjoseph]

@NathanWubs Yeah he says that in part two.

[inventingnothing]

This video is absurd! Just like the fairy tail.

[infernalone666]

this is hilarious

just the whining and the carefully orchestrated incompitence

[muzicman171]

this is a kiwi video...

[FHomeBrew]

The carnivores that survived ate the dinosaurs :p Fix'd!

[libbotoppo]

hhaha crockaduck calendar in the background

[PaladinswordSaurfang]

Lucky they saved the hookworms!!!

[RadaghastBrown]

Thumbs up if you were here before Neil deGrass Tyson's tweet.

[karstd]

@RadaghastBrown Did he tweet about this? That would be awesome!

[RadaghastBrown]

@karstd I guess so. Idk. I just noticed one day the views shot up, and lots of comments about NDeGT tweeting them here. I just thought it was funny. So I thought I'd represent those of us who were subscribers BEFORE NDeGT's tweet!

Cheers!

[Citabria007]

christianity is a hoax oulled on the fools of the world

[gen77c]

So acording to some, dinosaurs died because they were too big to take in the ark.... Why then did Noah take Elephants but not comsognathus or other small dinosaurs

[Beandude202]

@gen77c

Because the Bible isn't true. But they'll never admit that.

[LadyBria1996]

@gen77c Because the Bronze Age or "Biblical Era" was only about 2000-3000 years ago, so dinosaurs would already be extinct.

[xStrelok]

Sam Harris linked this video on Facebook. :D

[fred7flinstone]

Very clever, good work.

[KieraJayne]

This is f**king hilarious!!!

[priceoffame]

This makes me giggle.

[Tremari0]

snake muzzles LOL

[TtimWh]

hahahha nice work :)

[jordan92221]

great vid

[InfinityDz]

Shit this is fuckin perfect xD

[LifeMattersChannel]

Spot on as always. Unbelievable theres people believing this is how it went down...

[Xel963]

This is so funny!

[GodofVampires1739]

Subscribe if you know what causes rainbows, lol, never ask that of a brony.

I subscribed, I insist that Rainbow Dash causes rainbows though. It is about as likely as Noah's ark being true.

[MrMadmanbob]

W00t. Vid also got a shout-out from Sam Harris!

[Nujjitoza]

Poor noah

[TheRachaelLefler]

"central WHAT?"

[TheRachaelLefler]

Where did he get a year? I thought it was 40 days and 40 nights...?

[InternetDarkLord]

@TheRachaelLefler Genesis says the rain was 40 days and nights, the flood lasted much longer. The myth was composited from 2 earlier scrolls, hence it is not clear on details.

[beaster29]

@TheRachaelLefler The 40 days and nights refers only to the length of time it rained. There's also the time it took for the waters to subside, as well as the time it took for them to confirm that the earth had dried and life had once again sprouted. This all took over a year.

[ijneb86]

Really hilarious! This would make a good stage play!

[bassamali777]

Just to answer EMC2Newton the Quran does speak about Noah. But the flood is local, and he didn't build a huge ark, just a boat. Also, he just loaded a couple livestock on it. Great video though.

[AidanVaroloWhite7]

Sam Harris and Neil DeGrasse Tyson should run for President.

[TraitorCreator]

Absolutely brilliant! Love it! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!

[haroon80st]

watch it 1000 times and it still doesn't bore you

[Samura1gamer]

i dont care what the average attention spam of a christian is.Uploading videos in one piece is preferable.

a-m-a-z-i-n-g work btw.this shows how hard noah's job was which today we know its confirmed historical accuracy not to mention 100% backed up from all fields of science

[insightllc]

@Samura1gamer I FOUND NOAH'S ARK! It is a Riverboat and Noah is Nicholas J. Roosevelt and he was a "Tesla" and I broke the speed of light and I proved all dead are still alive I raised all dead from sleep and told Kennedy when to land on the moon and Armstrong "Edwin" what to say when he landed on the moon and I also invented earthquakes.

[hostyle0]

@Samura1gamer Im not sure.. but are you suggesting the Noahs ark story is 100% historically accurate and backed up by science?

[Samura1gamer]

@hostyle0 nnnnnnnot exactly...

[ShadowBlazer19]

@Samura1gamer ...You're joking right...?



[Samura1gamer]

@ShadowBlazer19 apparently

[MrSaint3]

Friggin' GOLD!!!!!!! 

[WhoStoleMyName57683]

amazing



[TonyBtheEG]

This video ended my night. Part 2 will start my day. Loving this.

[onyxxx101]

ham is Black

[ChipArgyle]

Praying mantises with helmets! Luckily, Noah didn't have to worry about such logistical nightmares because the flood didn't happen.

[PinkRoboticDinosaurs]

6:08 - 6:10 He's a time traveler.

[matthewtaylorbrown]

The parasites? Great thinking.

[garudagal23]

lmao at 'no wonder I turned into an alcoholic'

[mrphelps546]

Every time they start to rapidly name off a bunch of species I just crack up

[rhinnawi95]

@NeilTyson sent me here from Facebook

[shnizzlebizzle4rizzl]

at about 2 minutes this is no longer funny, but then by 4 minutes it becomes the most hilarious thing ever

[srikargottipati]

Nope Neil Degrasse Tyson sent me here. Thumbs up to him :)

[blindedby2monkeys]

@srikargottipati you mean "thumbs up to make me feel better about my obesity"

[JDoucette]

haha love the crocoduck calendar

[camomatt]

Could people just watch the video, get their laugh, and be on their way? Every one of these types of videos have an argument in the comment section.

[thehside]

I FUCKING LOVE SAM HARRIS AND NEIL DeGRASSE TYSON! :D

[stansmx]

@brightshade12

Same here. I was a Christian for about 17 years and I actually read the Bible a few times unlike most of my peers in the church. I never got baptized though because I was always critical of certain practices and teachings.

[jimbrown257]

@stansmx

" I never got baptized though because I was always critical of certain practices and teachings."

...I thought people were generally baptized without their consent and it was usually done before they were old enough to voice their criticisms.

[RadaghastBrown]

@jimbrown257 You thought right. I'm a recovering Christian. I had no choice in my baptizm. Hell, I don't even remember it.

[libalchris]

You also got a shout-out from Neil Tyson!

[bazzman13]

Thumbs up if you dont care about who sent you here, or about shoving your tumbs up some comments ass.

[Beandude202]

Lol, why are people bashing Sam Harris?

[HamIsDie]

Neil deGrasse Tyson > Sam Harris

[mmmodafoca]

@HamIsDie you and your 23 people who thumbs up you should be ashamed of yourselves!! both Dr. Tyson and Mr. Harris deserve our gratitude

[HamIsDie]

@mmmodafoca yeaahh I kinda realized that whoever Sam Harris is, must be pretty cool to send ppl here too, so I take back what I said lol

[HamIsDie]

@mmmodafoca but Neil is a total baws too tho

[Werewolvesareawesome]

Okay, nope. Just checking.

[Werewolvesareawesome]

Is it just me or are they censoring people on here?

[DZiemke]

And now a shout-out from Neil deGrasse Tyson.

[itsanawesomeguy]

My nigga neil hooked me up with this, thumbs up if you credit him as well

[Xan81]

Thumbs Up if Neil deGrass Tyson's tweet brought you here :D

[jakjak1994]

@Xan81

More like thumbs up if r/atheism brought you here

[SummaCrossroads]

Fuck Sam Harris, you've been linked to by the modern bastion of reason - Neil deGrasse Tyson.

[HamIsDie]

@SummaCrossroads If you don't know Sam Harris, chances are you aren't part of the modern bastion of reason.

[gtas321]

Neil Degrasse Tyson sent me. Not stupid Sam Harris! thumbs up

[Beandude202]

Nobody sent me the first time I watched this. But Neil deGrasse Tyson sent me again.

[btl743]

Neil deGrasse Tyson sent me.

[stehedman]

killer paint skillz!

[Fissioninferno]

You also got a shout-out from Neil DeGrasse Tyson on Twitter. Grats. :)

[stanleygarden]

The best one so far! I couldn't stop laughing!

[lB061988]

awesome

[toreadorable]

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant

[KSGixxer76]

Already watched these but since Sam Harris gave you a shout out I had to watch them again. Congrats!

[PROTOGgouki]

Wait, how about extremophiles?

[steveshack]

Hilarious.

[andreasdrg]

@NonStampCollector Well deserved, I must say!

[thirdhandsticks]

Sam Harris has given you a nod on his facebook channel. Right now Christians in America are trying to work out where this was predicted in the bible.

[jimbrown257]

Thumbs up if Satan sent you here!

Btw, lately, whenever I watch a video that has anything to do with religion, there is an ad for a "Christian dating site". It says "Find God's match for you!"

Why would God need a web page??

[CareFreeWherever]

@jimbrown257 because he's obsessed with our sex lives

[jimbrown257]

@CareFreeWherever

I always thought a good scam would be to dress up like a priest or preacher and go door to door in religious areas. I'd say I'd invented an material that, if put on your wallls, keeps god and your dead relatives from seeing what you're doing in there (you know you can trust me because I'm a priest or preacher). If you really believed in all that Bible stuff where god is so concerned with sex stuff or that your grandma is really in heaven watching you, that would be a concern

[CareFreeWherever]

@jimbrown257 missed the sarcasm?



[jimbrown257]

@CareFreeWherever

"missed the sarcasm?"

...Are you asking if I missed the sarcasm in your response? If so, no; my response to your response was just something I thought of when you mentioned how the way people describe god, he seems like a pervert peeping in your bedroom window. Or did you mean something else?

Btw, my OP was a reference to the first Star Trek movie where a computer claims to be god and Kirk asks "Why would god need a spaceship?" (that might not be the exact quote).

[MoonOnTheLoch]

@NonStampCollector Yes, well done! Love the crocoduck calendar. :)

[hbknutjack]

One minute in and I'm dying laughing.

[Ebiin]

This is so funny

[mpraveentube]

No one gives a fuck..stop telling who sent you here.



[mraclkie]

Neil DeGrasse Tyson sent me here!

[SmegCro]

Neil Tyson bitches

[DistortedV12]

Thumbs up if completeguitarteacher brought you here

[bassguitarfreek]

This is about to get a lot more views I think, thanks to a shout out from Sam Harris. I saw this around when it first came out but I still watch it every so often, one of my favorites.

[heeerro]

this is like one of my worst nightmares lol

[phantom5691]

i got into an argument with a man on a plane on my way to Egypt 2 years ago about Noah's ark. my point was that there is no way the hundreds of thousands of species of animals could fit on a boat and survive or kill many of each. this alone made the ark was an impossibility. he said that "god" built hundreds of thousands of little compartments to keep all the species separated....sigh...how does one respond to this incredible stupidity?

[jimbrown257]

@phantom5691

"he said that "god" built hundreds of thousands of little compartments to keep all the species "

...Whenever you mention how impossible every single part of the Noah's Ark story is, its defenders invariably invoke god's magic poowers. You have to wonder why, if god used magic powers, why he would even have to bother with something like a human building a huge boat.

[KESSWN]

"Friggin' Sham, I think I'll become the world's first Anti-Semite after this is all over"! Genius!

[purewilderness]

Sam Harris be trolling on YouTube lol

[powerlifter501]

Thanks for the tweet Sam!

[Nathan287]

Glad I study Chemistry and not Zoology!

[BillORele]

Thumbs up if Sam Harris sent you here!

[uuumoby]

I just cant imagine Sam Harris watching shit like this

[pianomatteo]

@uuumoby LOL! funny imagery hahaha.

[brandogrp]

Did Noah's Ark have a pocket hole? That's the only way I can figure out it worked.

[J33zyCr33zy]

watched this a second time after Sam Harris tweeted it.. laughed until I cried.