As @glutamin111 pointed out, most of these behaviors do not present on the first date. Rather, these behaviors are more commonly seen during the first three months to a year. Listen to your gut and the friends that you trust.
I like your videos in general, but it would take a psychological expert to spot a narcissist on a first date really...narcissists are usually smart, smart but limited of course....still they are intelligent enough and make very strong attempts to put a good first impression on others, so they will do everything that is in their abilities to do in order to hide their defective nature at the beginning.
The gentlemen is clearly insightful - but this seems, basically, like merely a shopping list of every possible character fault that exists. And no doubt - many of these traits are typical of "abusive" and narcissistic personalities. The trick, though, is to find some causal connection between these attributes, the way they are expressed, and in what situations - and the narcissistic or abusive temperament. This is not dealt with here. Further, I hear no cogent definition of these pathologies.
@gummynumberone It's like the video says. It's someone who demeans others and blames others for his problems. Think of any decent person you know and you'll find they never make demeaning comments like that about others.
I did not see any of the signs of NPD in my husband in our early relationship besides some jealousy about what I was wearing being too sexy. I am not sure i could have seen it.
Too vague. This reminds me of a book written by some doctor about abusive men. On Amazon are many comments by the wackos accusing others of being "abusers" These "abusers" who even resemble (by stretch of the imagination) displaying some characteristic in the book or have something negative to say about it. People be crazy. Some knowledge in the hands of stupid people is a dangerous thing. Now people will pick 2 things out of the whole list in this video & go "He or she was a Narc!" :-/
I was in a relationship with a person having borderline personality disorder for many years and I am seeing an interesting parallel in that both borderline's and narcissists seem to require outside validation. This might be for different reasons. The narcissist is constantly looking for approval and positive feedback that validates their grandiose sense of self. Borderlines need the feedback to determine what their "self" is. Negative feedback is also dealt with differently.
@crosspatch Borderline Personality is a catch all personality disorder that shares many traits with other personality disorders. If you can find a prominent sub type it's helpful when faced with a borderline client, or friend.
I dated a woman who displayed many of the traits described. I didn't notice her obvious narcissistic personality. For various reasons, I did not get back with her on the phone timely. As a result, she sent out a serious of aggressive emails to my daughter and I. My daughter took her letters to the police, who said don't contact this lady, because she is crazy. They said, if the women sent another email, they would serve a PPO on her. This incident put me on notice about some of today's women.
yeah guess that makes me a narcesstic then - cause i have done must of these things one time are another
no wait maybe im just human!!!! and as such make mistakes, surley a narcesstic person only true tell is that when they make these mistakes they never admitte to them
trivka is not correct ALL serial killers have been abused in childhood. Not all abused children become serial killers but if you abuse a child that has the "sociopath gene or collection thereof, tada you get a sociopath. And of course MOST sociopaths are not killers, They kill you emotionally. Read just like his father is you want to understand this and yes single parenting is a risk factor, being one myself I am well aware of this. Knowledge brings power
many narcissists do none of these things,(first batch) but are still the center of their own universe. One was ALWAYS late, never kept promises, was always a saint--tho others were not. But ooooooh so charming.
Why is it that hideously ugly people think that anybody who is hot is a narcissist? It must really suck to go through life being ugly... with those fuqed up teeth. Can't you afford to have that nasty sh*t fixed... or would that make you a narcissist, you fugly bastard?
Can you really tell all this in the first meeting? because I don't think anyone let alone a narcissit would reveal his/her true self because they know it will put people off. Isn't that what abusers do? hide their true self and then trap you.
The things that you will probably initially notice are the flattery (putting you on a pedestal, so to speak), the fact that they will consume about 90 percent of the conversation (wherein you barely get a word in), the detailed accounts and full disclosure of the events in their life, and how everyone else is to blame, etc. These are some obvious signs that you should be able to pick up on right away.
I have had several female freinds who were narcississts, (I'm also female) as well as boyfriends who were too. My father was one as well, and so was my mother and grandmother. It is difficult to avoid these people and find those who are emotionally, mentally and spiritually healthy.
I find you can avoid many of these people before you even agree to a date. When they first try picking you up make a joke, that is clearly a joke, but at his expense. It is highly likely he will cuss you out on the spot, call you a bitch and all but stomp his foot in petulance over the insult.
Once again, i did not give my personal opinion hee. I believe I am dealing with a psychopath in real life and I wanted to do a research to make sure of it, so I read different articles online after I searched key phrase "psychopath lawyer" and did copy paste. I cannot know the statistics. I am looking for answers myself. thank you
#7 I do agree with your opinion that male psychopaths are the result of being raised by single moms who give spoiled female attention to boys (and who knows what single moms are doing to girls). The fact that the lucrative, corrupt (multi-million dollar business) courts (EXPLAINS WHY MALE JUDGES) give custody to women 95% of the time validates your opinion that 1/3 of the male population is psychopath. Uploader, I respect your vids but I couldn't let turivka's sexist stats go unchallenged.
#6 100%of women are as CRAZY AS LOONS. BTW, the connection b'teen academics & rape & pedophilia is much more frightening than turivka's statement that 1/3 of the US male population is psychopath (narcissism & psychopathy are two separate disorders). Google, academic conference seeks to normalize pedophilia & google, are mental health professionals working to normalize pedophilia? I'm sure turivka has stats from Dr Robert Hare to show academia is not a female dominated field (sarcasm). Turivka,
#5 ultimate act of narcissism. Parental Alienation Syndrome which would be the second biggest act of narcissism & since women get custody 95% of the time we have to assume like turivka that PAS is driven by females (sounds narcissistic to me). So if you add statistics, 25% of women give up kids, 95% of women inflict PAS, millions of women kill unborns, 90% of teachers are women, (in another video this uploader said that teaching is a profession chosen by narcissists) I can safely state that
#4 children based on turivka's SOUND LOGIC? Using the same assumptions & logic that turivka uses I would like to state that Cosmo Mag Feb '92 stated that 25% of all women give up their kids & felt euphoria & empowerment to do so. Does that not sound like the traits of a narcissist? FIGELBOGEN, I would like to have your direct thoughts (a reply video to this video would be most excellent) on the narcissistic traits of women (the two MacDonald's beatings initiated by women, abortion, the
#2 of this video is saying narcissism is rampant in males I would ask the following questions. Have you never heard terms like, daddy's little girl, daddy's little princess ( seems like entitlement & a narcissistic trait to me) or black women are "Queens" or all black women are strong, independent women & don't need a man? Or how about a man's word is his bond but it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind anytime she wants (THAT SOUNDS VERY NARCISSISTIC TO ME). What about when a woman is
Assuming that an average U.S. family has 2 children, 50/50 split between girls and boys, and assuming that a heterosexual psychopath has a chance to molest only 1 daughter, there are at least 40 Million of heterosexual psychopaths who have been married or had family-type relationships at some point in their lives.
Dr. Robert Hare estimated, based on studies in Canada, that 1 out of 100 males in Canada is a psychopath. Based on the evidence that about 40 Million of women in the U.S. have been sexually abused before the age of 18, mostly by their fathers and step-father, and defining as "likely a psychopath" a male who sexually abuses his daughter (or step-daughter), the percentage of male psychopaths in the U.S. population is much higher
@fidelbogen American Psychiatric Association estimates that the Anti-Social Personality Disorder or psychopathy is 3 times more prevalent in males than in females. Taking this ratio into consideration, about 1 in 10 adult U.S. females vs 1 in 3 adult U.S males is likely a psychopath,
@turivka Of course, we don't know if the APA is correct about this.
But if they are, I guess that means that psychopathy is symptomatic of The Patriarchy, and men in general need to be more closely watched than women. Maybe we can pass special laws for using police power against men more than women, since we "know" that men are more likely to be "bad apples".
And too, we must calibrate the standards of evidence accordingly when men are on trial.
@fidelbogen #1 When I started reading your comment I thought it was the comment of a feminist until I saw & recognized your name. I then knew you were using sarcasm & hyperbole to make the point about how illegal & unconstitutional laws like VAWA & primary aggressor laws are based on wild statements like those made by turivka. I don't think turivka & other commenters got your point either (WHICH IS A SIGN OF NARCISSISM as they seldom pick up on sarcasm directed at themselves). If the uploader
Doctor, you use the word "He" way too much thus enforcing the stereotype that abusers are men. This is not true. Can't you weave into your discussions the fact that many (maybe very many) abusers are females. The culture/media does not like to expose them because it is not politically correct. It is time that females get their time in the "sun" so to say.
@jfnuyen Assuming 50/50 split between males and females in the U.S., the U.S. population of 300 Million, and adult population (over 18 years old) of 90%, there are at least 44 Million of male psychopaths out of 135 Million adult males in the U.S. This translates into the psychopathy rate of about 33% of adult male population. In other words, about 1 in 3 adult U.S. males is likely a psychopath.
@turivka Thanks for your response. I understand that there are male psychopaths. I just think that after watching several of your videos, a viewer would think this is primarily a problem among males. However, I believe there is probably a good proportion of the female population (USA) who are narcissists. To me, it just appears you are taking the politically correct path by not talking that much about females with this pathology. This enforces the growing bias against men.
true, but I read the article on non political facts, if you read my top comments, the study was based on reports of female abuse by male in families, also by molested children. so there is a huge gap bewtween the number of male and female psychopaths. however considering the fact that 40 percent (roughly) of children are raised by a single mother! we can see where all these male psychopaths come from, spoiled with female attention and with the idea the rule the world.
#3 happy or in love a child is "our" child but when she is angry or filing for a divorce the child is "her" child & hers alone & the courts agree 95% of the time. Accord to a 2009 study put out by US Dept of Health & Human Services, it states that female parents acting alone kill 27.3% of their kids vs dads or step-dads acting alone kill 14.8% of kids so while turivka assumes men are raping 40% of girls under 18 yrs old why can't I extrapolate that all women are killing 27% of the world's
@MLJ1219 I did not assume any numbers. I read an article online (google "psychopath lawyer" and see "how psychopaths kill humanity" ) l and did copy paste :)
@turivka Psychopaths are not made. They are born. Their brains function differently. The frontel cortex that reacts to empathy, love, bonding, conscience does not work in a psychopaths brain. That is not a result of upbringing. It can however be genetic. Can't blame this one on single mothers.
@Guitargirl5157 I don't think that is true. An article I just reviewed indicated that there are more covert female narcissists and more overt male narcissists. The overt type are much easier to identify and hence you may be led to believe there are more men with this pathology. Here is a link if I can get this to take. h-t-t-p(colon)//world wide web(dot)psychforums(dot)com(backslash)narcissistic-personality/topic52752-20.(html)
@jfnuyen Women in general are disempowered in our society, they continue to have subordinate positions. Thereby it is much more prevelant for men(those in power) to keep subordinate groups(women) subjugated in abusive relationships, making it impossible for women to outnumber or even equal men in abusive relationships personality disordered or not.
@Guitargirl5157 I don't buy that. You need to check the labor statistics that the US government puts out on employment. I did not see an subjugated women where I worked in government. On the contrary, I have worked for both women and men. Women were in very high level positions. Many are CEOs, CFO, etc. I think your figures are getting old. I think you better come up to date.
@jfnuyen What are you talking about self-centeredness is prevalent in both sexes but narcissism goes further. I think to an extent narcissistic people can't feel for other people what they are doing to them and honestly people keep saying women are too damn emotional. There are far more women empaths than men. I think narcissistic people are closer to being non-empaths.
@Rinsuki I don't believe there are far more empaths in females, at least not in the USA. I think many women put on like they feel for the other person, but it is a sham. Men may not play act as well. Some of the nastiest people I worked with in government were women. In a way, I might say that I found just a many nasty women as men during my time in the professional work environment. Women may be emotional, as you say, but they are not necessarily nicer to their fellow co-workers, no way.
@Guitargirl5157 Oh, so you attempt to use shaming tactics on me. Now, I am not interested in what you have to say. You bring no facts forward, but instead try the old ad hominem approach of the total loser. I am done with you, because you clearly show your bias and agenda. bye, bye.
@jfnuyen "Oh, so you attempt to use shaming tactics on me. Now, I am not interested in what you have to say. You bring no facts forward, but instead try the old ad hominem approach of the total loser. I am done with you, because you clearly show your bias and agenda. bye, bye."
Good answer and exemplary of what you were describing. Kudos to you.
@Rinsuki A true narcissist like the one talked about in this video is unable to empathize with another human being. They feel for themselves and themselves alone. They are the antithesis of empaths. It is also true that they have much higher levels of testosterone as well which would make your assertion that far more women are empaths than men correct.
@jfnuyen yes! many the narcisissst i know are all female and in contrast the men are very long-suffering. my mom is one and my brothers have been under her spell and defend her even when she abuses them
@patriciacarrasco Strange isn't it. PC run a muck in favor of women. Men have been conditioned to take abuse and not report it because they think it to be unmanly. Women, on the other hand are encouraged on almost all fronts to report it. I hope your long-suffering brothers someday escape your mother's clutches. I can relate to your scenario.
@gluecube no but they're still toxic. One difference between BPD and NPD is that the borderline will regret the mess he/she created. They care about people despite being messy/toxic unlike people with NPD.
@gluecube it depends on who you ask… anyone who is related to a borderline would say yes but the "professionals" who want tons of cash or the borderline themselves would freak out about this statement.
@gluecube Look up "transient sociopath". Yes: people with borderline seem to temperarily not be able to empathise with others. Some even say they cannot empathise at all, but I don't think that is true.
He checked his wallet , that was left on the floor in the room, after he came back from the bathroom... as if I'd touch it, or God forbid steal from him! :O(
The below comment is about my mother, who has always been abusive. She will do everything I mentioned below but then idolize what talents I have. It's very confusing. At times she seems unable to register that there are other people besides herself. I have thought for the longest time it was because she is jealous of me. But now I am wondering if she has an Antisocial Dissorder and literally cannot feel empathy, guilt or regret.
What about a person like this: constantly projecting themselves onto me or using me as a scapegaot.Makes terrible remarks about me all the time.Blaims me for everything.Never accepts responsibility for their actions.Is over controlling to the extream.Tries to isolate me from everyone.Lies about me to others all the time.Won't keep a friend that likes me even in the slightest. Hates when I'm happy. Puts on an act for others in order to keep them from knowing about the things I'm writting here.
What about a person like this: constantly projecting themselves onto me or using me as a scapegaot.Makes terrible remarks about me all the time.Blaims me for everything.Never accepts responsibility for their actions.Is over controlling to the extream.Tries to isolate me from everyone.Lies about me to others all the time.Won't keep a friend that likes me even in the slightest. Hates when I'm happy. Puts on an act for others in order to keep them from knowing about the things I'm writting here.
@julievangel the longer you let that go on, the harder it will be to get out, and the more your self esteem will be effected. Any man who abuses women should be exposed as the cowards that they are.
@julievangel listen you need to leave that fuck and get help.. if you fear for ur life dont because a life without freedom is not a life worth living and also im sure if you tell people whats going on they will protect you.
One thing I've learned to do on a first date is to watch how they treat waiters/waitresses in a restaurant. I dated a guy who was very rude to waitresses. He eventually started to treat me the same way.
@acidsnake8 87% of what this dude said is right on.man i hope my nephew wakes the hell up thats why in 2 wiks this bitch wants to have a baby already.when they barely know each other.
@ErikWanTan Introverted narcissists are scary, too: they are passive-aggressive and very secretive about sabotaging you and undermining you. Their soft and soothing insinuations and thinly veiled insults cut your ego like knife. They are so "skilled" at the silent treatment and refusing to respond in conversations. Their attitude is that of chronic superiority, omniscience, and silence. I've known several of them. Very irritating.
@dutytocareforothers Oh yes. The compliment that's really an insult. The "I know best. Listen to me, I can help you be better" attitude. The ridiculous ultimatums. The refusal to acknowledge any fault or wrongdoing. The absolute inability to console you when you are hurting. Been there. NEVER GOING BACK.
@FoodOrFail I recently tried joining a new LGBT support/activity group after having been in many clubs of various sorts, including LGBTs throughout my life.It was not through a specific agency, just a local group of women. The woman who ran it exhibited almost all of these signs in just three emails,before I'd even physically met anyone. This is a power-craving personality,not always'romance' or "man-woman" I agree with the vid' , and I've 'dated' (been used by /hit on by) guys like this too.
@dutytocareforothers I agree. I lived with one for a couple of years, a serius and withdrawn, quiet man. The things he has done to me since I have left would make your hair stand on end. Noone would know that he is capable.
I've seen them a lot in universities: other than that many of them are managers. You can just look into their glassy cold eyes and feel the malice when it spews out of their insinuations, sneers, bragging, and boasting. I had a roommate like that in college: it was awful. But many others were that way, too. Narcissism and OCPD are epidemic.
that is the problem in the world...almost everybody is like he just described...like Peter Joseph said " We live in a very fucked up, sick culture. We really do. Society is mentally ill. " Look up video tipe in google " who is peter joseph "
Following me into the kitchen even though it's very small and only has room for one person or into my bedroom even though it's in a mess. I shouldn't have to put bolts on the inside of doors in my own home just to keep visitors out of rooms I don't want them to go into when I'm in them.
A skilled narcissist will do many of these things in a covert and seemingly innocent way, so he appears blameless and YOU appear crazy.
This is a good video, but you have to take most of these examples and dial them back, as if they are being carried out by a spy. They want to look "good" and don't want to look "bad", so the emotional abuse if very sneaky and precise so others will not see it.
@AnnaMayEyes Exactly. The guy that will always be there to help a friend with material needs (a small bit of cash, a ride when a car breaks down, etc.), but who absolutely cannot help with an emotional need. Outsiders thinks he's gold, but you know better!
Yes, but please don't be too confident. Because these people are predators and seek out their prey. Try to think about what it might be about you that makes you a more likely victim than someone else.
@redsylo Coming from someone who has a mom who's a narcissist: you'll know something's off. My mom would spill water and blame it on the cup... my mom is very loud and demands attention. If you're mentally healthy I think you'll be able to tell that after talking to this person you'll feel bad.
@dutytocareforothers yeah because she doesn't joke much, and even so, she wouldn't joke if it required her putting the blame on herself. If I complain about my sadness she will tell me how that affects her. If I do one thing that's not right in her eyes then I'm a bad person. Her thinking is black and white. If you feel drained around someone or that your feelings are discounted, then don't stick around. Surround yourself with people who you're sure make you happy.
@pineappledust I know people like that. It's the culture that reinforces this behavior in two ways: our role-models teach us to be selfish and conniving: then they teach us not to get caught and if you are caught lie your way out of it. It's taught everywhere with unwritten rules and corrupt systems. State of Confusion by Bryant Welch is an excellent book that details some of what I am talking about.
Thank you for this. My father is a psychopath and I have good instincts for this. More people need to know these things. What I wonder about is why this list of characteristics also makes many people swoon. Many women find these things attractive to some degree, or take them as signs of caring. Is this cultural conditioning or a complimentary pathos? I suppose education may reveal that.
samvaknin, all u say here are absolutely true.I'm a therapist and I've been in a relationship with an NPD/BPD for 5 yrs.I also recently treated an NPD for 10 months.But I just have to add for your viewers the following:according to the field narcissism blossoms, NPDs can exhibit substantial differences.For example, if the narcissist's "thing" is their being oversensitive, it's possible u see them worshiping kids(or so they claim) and the weaker persons.In order to appear their strong savior
I figure all you need to do to avoid abusive relationships is to be clear as to your boundaries and to avoid becoming involved with anyone who is unwilling to respect those boundaries.
Three chances is enough. That should be made clear too.
Some black fella moved into my place in the 80's and I was told by the local hospital he is a known psychopath. And their eyed bugged out like a horror show at knowing the guy was living in my house. Listening to this you brought back old memories of this creepy prick. Last I heard of him he is in prison for rape and attempted murder. He raped a abo girl and tied her up and put her on a bull ants nest in northern NSW.
Its a subtle process of "divorcing" the victim from their support networks. They lie. Beginning and end of story. If only I'd been able to get this information ten years ago, I may have saved myself 8 years in the seventh level of hell with the father of lies himself. He was super secretive, or lied, yet went through everything of mine, including my computer files and deleting precious (irreplaceable) photos of my family. First time I've ever believed that a human is beyond redemption.
One thing I am curious about though...is it all that likely a psychopath or sociopath would make themself that obvious? I guess it depends on how intelligent the individual is to some extent. As well as how well developed their skills are at hiding their abusive intentions...
This description most definitely applies to a man an ex friend of mine married around 6 years ago. I always believed him to be an abuser because of picking up on alot of these signs pretty early on into knowing him. Watching this video has confirmed that opinion even more strongly! Many thanks for putting up - I found that very interesting to watch and listen to!
@tomikah95 Not many in my view. In such cases as these, the person with the abusive personality already understands this, so creates a false personna to lure unsuspecting vulnerable targets into the trap of being in a relationship with them. Tends to happen during the courting phase of the relationship, while the abuser establishes the control strategies over the other person that are the most likely to be successful.
@Magrith888 That's what my roommate did to me. It was awful. How do they come up with the plans. And why is it that every single narcissist does the same techniques and tactics. How does this happen? I believe it's cultural.
@dutytocareforothers Hey there Duty. I'm sorry to hear about your experience. On coming up with their plans, my personal guess is that unfortunately intelligence , as well as continuing practice throughout their lives, are both factors as to why these people become so good what they do. Imo they see this as a skill necessary to develop for themselves - because to them, because of their issues, they see it as crucial in order to get what they want out of life - sadly. :-(
@tomikah95 No one. But decent people judge others as themselves. That's mistake No: 1. Mistake No: 2 is believing that all people have some redeeming characteristics. Psychopaths don't. Mistake No: 3 is thinking that YOU are the crazy one for seeing the cracks in the facade. Mistake No: 4 thinking that love will make a difference. It won't. Mistake No: 5 is not realizing that you WILL NOT RECOGNIZE a psychopath unless you've already been there, done that, and maybe not even then..THEY LIE.
I really fit many of these criteria at times, but I seem to fade in and out of my psychopathy-related tendencies.
A psychologist that treated me for a while swear by me as a non-psychopathic person. We seem to have agreed on me being a Histrionic-type.
Is it possible to have tendencies towards antisocial-narcissistic behavior without falling into the profile of someone with this kind of personality disorder?
i Have NPD And im not violent nor heartless, I love god and im a Christian.some of the theories you have our inaccurate.If you have questions about narcissistic personality ask me
He forgot to mention the eyes. Psychopaths have evil eyes (the definition of evil is simply; lack of goodness), look at Sam Vaknin himself for example.
If you realisticly want to avoid problems you shouldn't get close to people who looks more evil than good, which means people who doesn't look at least 50 % kind. The opposite of a psychopath, someone who is 100 % good, is as common or uncommon as a psychopath, about 3-5 % of the human population.
@stigludwigsen Practicing the eyes is easy, one can use an attractive actor to model them. One only needs a few reliable countenances to fall back on to fool people.
YOU SIR are describing my brother as if it was his biography, who defines the worst of sophisticated narcissists who tests. overwhelmingly positive for these symptoms, every damn last one. Great advice and good insight into the use of plights as nothing more than a useful status and arm rest for the narcissist who roam around looking for their next victims.
As @glutamin111 pointed out, most of these behaviors do not present on the first date. Rather, these behaviors are more commonly seen during the first three months to a year. Listen to your gut and the friends that you trust.
psychfred 2 days ago
I like your videos in general, but it would take a psychological expert to spot a narcissist on a first date really...narcissists are usually smart, smart but limited of course....still they are intelligent enough and make very strong attempts to put a good first impression on others, so they will do everything that is in their abilities to do in order to hide their defective nature at the beginning.
glutamin111 5 days ago
The gentlemen is clearly insightful - but this seems, basically, like merely a shopping list of every possible character fault that exists. And no doubt - many of these traits are typical of "abusive" and narcissistic personalities. The trick, though, is to find some causal connection between these attributes, the way they are expressed, and in what situations - and the narcissistic or abusive temperament. This is not dealt with here. Further, I hear no cogent definition of these pathologies.
lourak 6 days ago
This is why I run far, far away from any guy who claims his ex is "crazy."
enchantressofnumbers 1 week ago
@enchantressofnumbers y?
gummynumberone 2 days ago
@gummynumberone It's like the video says. It's someone who demeans others and blames others for his problems. Think of any decent person you know and you'll find they never make demeaning comments like that about others.
enchantressofnumbers 1 day ago
Can you please repeat that?
studiosinger 2 weeks ago
why is it "him"? both men and women are equally as likely to be like this and both genders fall into a minority of these.
UnionMetalhead 3 weeks ago
I did not see any of the signs of NPD in my husband in our early relationship besides some jealousy about what I was wearing being too sexy. I am not sure i could have seen it.
AnAbuseSurvivor 3 weeks ago
A narcissist blames everything on others - I thought just about everyone did that!
CinderellaDragon 3 weeks ago 3
Too vague. This reminds me of a book written by some doctor about abusive men. On Amazon are many comments by the wackos accusing others of being "abusers" These "abusers" who even resemble (by stretch of the imagination) displaying some characteristic in the book or have something negative to say about it. People be crazy. Some knowledge in the hands of stupid people is a dangerous thing. Now people will pick 2 things out of the whole list in this video & go "He or she was a Narc!" :-/
elkidsays 3 weeks ago
very interesting.. thank you
ssips720 4 weeks ago
Amazing material thank you!
Is your book available from yourself? It is prohibitively expensive on Amazon.co.uk!
AntheaFlattus 4 weeks ago
@AntheaFlattus My book is available from Barnes and Noble (bndotcom) and from my publisher (wwwdotnarcissistic-abusedotcom).
samvaknin 4 weeks ago
Wow... I think i like Narcissists. (?) just not in a 24/7 type situation...
JenniferPHendrix 1 month ago
he does say, "he or she?", initially, clarifying that it applies to both sexes.
killa46464 1 month ago
I like this guy and recommend all of his videos. :)
deafinseattle1 2 months ago
I was in a relationship with a person having borderline personality disorder for many years and I am seeing an interesting parallel in that both borderline's and narcissists seem to require outside validation. This might be for different reasons. The narcissist is constantly looking for approval and positive feedback that validates their grandiose sense of self. Borderlines need the feedback to determine what their "self" is. Negative feedback is also dealt with differently.
crosspatch 2 months ago
@crosspatch Borderline Personality is a catch all personality disorder that shares many traits with other personality disorders. If you can find a prominent sub type it's helpful when faced with a borderline client, or friend.
deafinseattle1 2 months ago
@crosspatch my psychopaths stalks me.
KlausHoffmann2009 1 month ago
I dated a woman who displayed many of the traits described. I didn't notice her obvious narcissistic personality. For various reasons, I did not get back with her on the phone timely. As a result, she sent out a serious of aggressive emails to my daughter and I. My daughter took her letters to the police, who said don't contact this lady, because she is crazy. They said, if the women sent another email, they would serve a PPO on her. This incident put me on notice about some of today's women.
jfnuyen 2 months ago
yeah guess that makes me a narcesstic then - cause i have done must of these things one time are another
no wait maybe im just human!!!! and as such make mistakes, surley a narcesstic person only true tell is that when they make these mistakes they never admitte to them
gibs83 2 months ago
I thought I was one.. I could definetly name 10 people who are like this!!!!
mistoutchique 2 months ago
trivka is not correct ALL serial killers have been abused in childhood. Not all abused children become serial killers but if you abuse a child that has the "sociopath gene or collection thereof, tada you get a sociopath. And of course MOST sociopaths are not killers, They kill you emotionally. Read just like his father is you want to understand this and yes single parenting is a risk factor, being one myself I am well aware of this. Knowledge brings power
persiancatsarecool 2 months ago
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Today hide a turkish man behind my house.He attack me with his minds.The Turk is a psychopath.
Devranderya 2 months ago
many narcissists do none of these things,(first batch) but are still the center of their own universe. One was ALWAYS late, never kept promises, was always a saint--tho others were not. But ooooooh so charming.
ednacarroll9 3 months ago
4:10 asian parents
universalize1 3 months ago
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Why is it that hideously ugly people think that anybody who is hot is a narcissist? It must really suck to go through life being ugly... with those fuqed up teeth. Can't you afford to have that nasty sh*t fixed... or would that make you a narcissist, you fugly bastard?
ScyreMoon 3 months ago
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ScyreMoon 3 months ago
I guess what I'm hearing mostly in this video is a narscissit is controlling
handsintheair4you 3 months ago
Can you really tell all this in the first meeting? because I don't think anyone let alone a narcissit would reveal his/her true self because they know it will put people off. Isn't that what abusers do? hide their true self and then trap you.
handsintheair4you 3 months ago
@handsintheair4you
The things that you will probably initially notice are the flattery (putting you on a pedestal, so to speak), the fact that they will consume about 90 percent of the conversation (wherein you barely get a word in), the detailed accounts and full disclosure of the events in their life, and how everyone else is to blame, etc. These are some obvious signs that you should be able to pick up on right away.
Joyness333 3 months ago
@Joyness333 Since the gas lighting is so convincing can the true person ever be revealed?
handsintheair4you 3 months ago
How do you spot a normal?
JKidder18 4 months ago 10
I have had several female freinds who were narcississts, (I'm also female) as well as boyfriends who were too. My father was one as well, and so was my mother and grandmother. It is difficult to avoid these people and find those who are emotionally, mentally and spiritually healthy.
theallseeingoracle 4 months ago
@theallseeingoracle then you probably are, too
roflmaodue 3 months ago
@roflmaodue troll
theallseeingoracle 3 months ago
I find you can avoid many of these people before you even agree to a date. When they first try picking you up make a joke, that is clearly a joke, but at his expense. It is highly likely he will cuss you out on the spot, call you a bitch and all but stomp his foot in petulance over the insult.
MsColdCanada 4 months ago
Also, thank you, MLJ1219 for such informative comments. All I want to know is whether my boyfriend is a psycho or I am.
turivka 4 months ago
Once again, i did not give my personal opinion hee. I believe I am dealing with a psychopath in real life and I wanted to do a research to make sure of it, so I read different articles online after I searched key phrase "psychopath lawyer" and did copy paste. I cannot know the statistics. I am looking for answers myself. thank you
turivka 4 months ago
#7 I do agree with your opinion that male psychopaths are the result of being raised by single moms who give spoiled female attention to boys (and who knows what single moms are doing to girls). The fact that the lucrative, corrupt (multi-million dollar business) courts (EXPLAINS WHY MALE JUDGES) give custody to women 95% of the time validates your opinion that 1/3 of the male population is psychopath. Uploader, I respect your vids but I couldn't let turivka's sexist stats go unchallenged.
MLJ1219 4 months ago
@MLJ1219 agreed
universalize1 3 months ago
#6 100%of women are as CRAZY AS LOONS. BTW, the connection b'teen academics & rape & pedophilia is much more frightening than turivka's statement that 1/3 of the US male population is psychopath (narcissism & psychopathy are two separate disorders). Google, academic conference seeks to normalize pedophilia & google, are mental health professionals working to normalize pedophilia? I'm sure turivka has stats from Dr Robert Hare to show academia is not a female dominated field (sarcasm). Turivka,
MLJ1219 4 months ago 2
#5 ultimate act of narcissism. Parental Alienation Syndrome which would be the second biggest act of narcissism & since women get custody 95% of the time we have to assume like turivka that PAS is driven by females (sounds narcissistic to me). So if you add statistics, 25% of women give up kids, 95% of women inflict PAS, millions of women kill unborns, 90% of teachers are women, (in another video this uploader said that teaching is a profession chosen by narcissists) I can safely state that
MLJ1219 4 months ago
#4 children based on turivka's SOUND LOGIC? Using the same assumptions & logic that turivka uses I would like to state that Cosmo Mag Feb '92 stated that 25% of all women give up their kids & felt euphoria & empowerment to do so. Does that not sound like the traits of a narcissist? FIGELBOGEN, I would like to have your direct thoughts (a reply video to this video would be most excellent) on the narcissistic traits of women (the two MacDonald's beatings initiated by women, abortion, the
MLJ1219 4 months ago
@MLJ1219 Think of the behavior of Sharon Osborne, her fellow panelists, and the audience members.
fidelbogen 4 months ago 2
#2 of this video is saying narcissism is rampant in males I would ask the following questions. Have you never heard terms like, daddy's little girl, daddy's little princess ( seems like entitlement & a narcissistic trait to me) or black women are "Queens" or all black women are strong, independent women & don't need a man? Or how about a man's word is his bond but it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind anytime she wants (THAT SOUNDS VERY NARCISSISTIC TO ME). What about when a woman is
MLJ1219 4 months ago
Assuming that an average U.S. family has 2 children, 50/50 split between girls and boys, and assuming that a heterosexual psychopath has a chance to molest only 1 daughter, there are at least 40 Million of heterosexual psychopaths who have been married or had family-type relationships at some point in their lives.
turivka 4 months ago
Dr. Robert Hare estimated, based on studies in Canada, that 1 out of 100 males in Canada is a psychopath. Based on the evidence that about 40 Million of women in the U.S. have been sexually abused before the age of 18, mostly by their fathers and step-father, and defining as "likely a psychopath" a male who sexually abuses his daughter (or step-daughter), the percentage of male psychopaths in the U.S. population is much higher
turivka 4 months ago
@fidelbogen American Psychiatric Association estimates that the Anti-Social Personality Disorder or psychopathy is 3 times more prevalent in males than in females. Taking this ratio into consideration, about 1 in 10 adult U.S. females vs 1 in 3 adult U.S males is likely a psychopath,
turivka 4 months ago
@turivka Of course, we don't know if the APA is correct about this.
But if they are, I guess that means that psychopathy is symptomatic of The Patriarchy, and men in general need to be more closely watched than women. Maybe we can pass special laws for using police power against men more than women, since we "know" that men are more likely to be "bad apples".
And too, we must calibrate the standards of evidence accordingly when men are on trial.
Yes indeed, men are the problem.
fidelbogen 4 months ago
@fidelbogen #1 When I started reading your comment I thought it was the comment of a feminist until I saw & recognized your name. I then knew you were using sarcasm & hyperbole to make the point about how illegal & unconstitutional laws like VAWA & primary aggressor laws are based on wild statements like those made by turivka. I don't think turivka & other commenters got your point either (WHICH IS A SIGN OF NARCISSISM as they seldom pick up on sarcasm directed at themselves). If the uploader
MLJ1219 4 months ago
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turivka 4 months ago
Thank you so much. They always trick me . I so needed this.
AmandyPants 4 months ago
Thank you Dr. Vaknin for all your resesarch!
manalome1635 4 months ago
Doctor, you use the word "He" way too much thus enforcing the stereotype that abusers are men. This is not true. Can't you weave into your discussions the fact that many (maybe very many) abusers are females. The culture/media does not like to expose them because it is not politically correct. It is time that females get their time in the "sun" so to say.
jfnuyen 4 months ago 25
@jfnuyen Assuming 50/50 split between males and females in the U.S., the U.S. population of 300 Million, and adult population (over 18 years old) of 90%, there are at least 44 Million of male psychopaths out of 135 Million adult males in the U.S. This translates into the psychopathy rate of about 33% of adult male population. In other words, about 1 in 3 adult U.S. males is likely a psychopath.
turivka 4 months ago
@turivka Thanks for your response. I understand that there are male psychopaths. I just think that after watching several of your videos, a viewer would think this is primarily a problem among males. However, I believe there is probably a good proportion of the female population (USA) who are narcissists. To me, it just appears you are taking the politically correct path by not talking that much about females with this pathology. This enforces the growing bias against men.
jfnuyen 4 months ago
true, but I read the article on non political facts, if you read my top comments, the study was based on reports of female abuse by male in families, also by molested children. so there is a huge gap bewtween the number of male and female psychopaths. however considering the fact that 40 percent (roughly) of children are raised by a single mother! we can see where all these male psychopaths come from, spoiled with female attention and with the idea the rule the world.
turivka 4 months ago
#3 happy or in love a child is "our" child but when she is angry or filing for a divorce the child is "her" child & hers alone & the courts agree 95% of the time. Accord to a 2009 study put out by US Dept of Health & Human Services, it states that female parents acting alone kill 27.3% of their kids vs dads or step-dads acting alone kill 14.8% of kids so while turivka assumes men are raping 40% of girls under 18 yrs old why can't I extrapolate that all women are killing 27% of the world's
MLJ1219 4 months ago
@MLJ1219 I did not assume any numbers. I read an article online (google "psychopath lawyer" and see "how psychopaths kill humanity" ) l and did copy paste :)
turivka 4 months ago
@turivka Psychopaths are not made. They are born. Their brains function differently. The frontel cortex that reacts to empathy, love, bonding, conscience does not work in a psychopaths brain. That is not a result of upbringing. It can however be genetic. Can't blame this one on single mothers.
Guitargirl5157 3 months ago
@jfnuyen True, not all are men. But, the majority of them are. A very small percentage are females.
Guitargirl5157 3 months ago
@Guitargirl5157 I don't think that is true. An article I just reviewed indicated that there are more covert female narcissists and more overt male narcissists. The overt type are much easier to identify and hence you may be led to believe there are more men with this pathology. Here is a link if I can get this to take. h-t-t-p(colon)//world wide web(dot)psychforums(dot)com(backslash)narcissistic-personality/topic52752-20.(html)
jfnuyen 3 months ago
@jfnuyen Women in general are disempowered in our society, they continue to have subordinate positions. Thereby it is much more prevelant for men(those in power) to keep subordinate groups(women) subjugated in abusive relationships, making it impossible for women to outnumber or even equal men in abusive relationships personality disordered or not.
Guitargirl5157 3 months ago
@Guitargirl5157 I don't buy that. You need to check the labor statistics that the US government puts out on employment. I did not see an subjugated women where I worked in government. On the contrary, I have worked for both women and men. Women were in very high level positions. Many are CEOs, CFO, etc. I think your figures are getting old. I think you better come up to date.
jfnuyen 3 months ago
@jfnuyen What are you talking about self-centeredness is prevalent in both sexes but narcissism goes further. I think to an extent narcissistic people can't feel for other people what they are doing to them and honestly people keep saying women are too damn emotional. There are far more women empaths than men. I think narcissistic people are closer to being non-empaths.
Rinsuki 3 months ago
@Rinsuki I don't believe there are far more empaths in females, at least not in the USA. I think many women put on like they feel for the other person, but it is a sham. Men may not play act as well. Some of the nastiest people I worked with in government were women. In a way, I might say that I found just a many nasty women as men during my time in the professional work environment. Women may be emotional, as you say, but they are not necessarily nicer to their fellow co-workers, no way.
jfnuyen 3 months ago
@jfnuyen Obviously you are a person who has issue with women in general. Not worth debating further to someone with a biased view closed to reality.
Guitargirl5157 3 months ago
@Guitargirl5157 Oh, so you attempt to use shaming tactics on me. Now, I am not interested in what you have to say. You bring no facts forward, but instead try the old ad hominem approach of the total loser. I am done with you, because you clearly show your bias and agenda. bye, bye.
jfnuyen 3 months ago
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@jfnuyen "Oh, so you attempt to use shaming tactics on me. Now, I am not interested in what you have to say. You bring no facts forward, but instead try the old ad hominem approach of the total loser. I am done with you, because you clearly show your bias and agenda. bye, bye."
Good answer and exemplary of what you were describing. Kudos to you.
elkidsays 3 weeks ago
@Rinsuki A true narcissist like the one talked about in this video is unable to empathize with another human being. They feel for themselves and themselves alone. They are the antithesis of empaths. It is also true that they have much higher levels of testosterone as well which would make your assertion that far more women are empaths than men correct.
Guitargirl5157 3 months ago
@jfnuyen i think he's just deferring to the male pronoun like most people do when they have a choice of he or she.
letmechanistsrule 1 month ago
@letmechanistsrule Most likely, but I think many who keep watching his videos get the idea that this is a male problem only.
jfnuyen 1 month ago
@jfnuyen yes! many the narcisissst i know are all female and in contrast the men are very long-suffering. my mom is one and my brothers have been under her spell and defend her even when she abuses them
patriciacarrasco 6 days ago
@patriciacarrasco Strange isn't it. PC run a muck in favor of women. Men have been conditioned to take abuse and not report it because they think it to be unmanly. Women, on the other hand are encouraged on almost all fronts to report it. I hope your long-suffering brothers someday escape your mother's clutches. I can relate to your scenario.
jfnuyen 6 days ago
I can "smell" a personality disorder after 5 minutes of dealing with a person. Sometimes even just looking at them.
TheVideoCat 4 months ago
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Never met anyone who is not most of these things...uck!!
ThePsalm40 5 months ago
Fret not, female narcissists: we are aware that you exist, and that you are just as much of an asshole as a male narcissist.
mattthepale 5 months ago 69
@mattthepale I believe my ex girlfriend to be one.
MrIGiveAFuck 2 months ago
@fidelbogen maybe the man making the video is a narcissist himself
TheRockstardan 5 months ago 2
@fidelbogen He uses he/she in the beginning of the video, and English is a sexist language. Derp
johnpootnose 5 months ago
@fidelbogen I was going to post a similar comment and then I saw yours- nice. HE HE HE HE. WTF?
TMac473 5 months ago 2
@fidelbogen I was going to post a similar comment and then I saw yours- nice. HE HE HE HE. WTF?
TMac473 5 months ago
@gluecube no but they're still toxic. One difference between BPD and NPD is that the borderline will regret the mess he/she created. They care about people despite being messy/toxic unlike people with NPD.
neobubu 5 months ago
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neobubu 5 months ago
He just described me and I'm a girl
SomeTrespassing 5 months ago
Are borderlines also considered pyschopaths??? It seems to have alot in common w/ bpd... or is it not real pyschopathy b/c it's really testing???
gluecube 5 months ago
@gluecube it depends on who you ask… anyone who is related to a borderline would say yes but the "professionals" who want tons of cash or the borderline themselves would freak out about this statement.
In other words, YES!!
MrSpemat 5 months ago
@gluecube Look up "transient sociopath". Yes: people with borderline seem to temperarily not be able to empathise with others. Some even say they cannot empathise at all, but I don't think that is true.
Serenoj69 5 months ago
He checked his wallet , that was left on the floor in the room, after he came back from the bathroom... as if I'd touch it, or God forbid steal from him! :O(
One of the worst things ever ..
DayaTom7 5 months ago
The below comment is about my mother, who has always been abusive. She will do everything I mentioned below but then idolize what talents I have. It's very confusing. At times she seems unable to register that there are other people besides herself. I have thought for the longest time it was because she is jealous of me. But now I am wondering if she has an Antisocial Dissorder and literally cannot feel empathy, guilt or regret.
BlueNeko1 5 months ago
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What about a person like this: constantly projecting themselves onto me or using me as a scapegaot.Makes terrible remarks about me all the time.Blaims me for everything.Never accepts responsibility for their actions.Is over controlling to the extream.Tries to isolate me from everyone.Lies about me to others all the time.Won't keep a friend that likes me even in the slightest. Hates when I'm happy. Puts on an act for others in order to keep them from knowing about the things I'm writting here.
BlueNeko1 5 months ago
What about a person like this: constantly projecting themselves onto me or using me as a scapegaot.Makes terrible remarks about me all the time.Blaims me for everything.Never accepts responsibility for their actions.Is over controlling to the extream.Tries to isolate me from everyone.Lies about me to others all the time.Won't keep a friend that likes me even in the slightest. Hates when I'm happy. Puts on an act for others in order to keep them from knowing about the things I'm writting here.
BlueNeko1 5 months ago
Narcissistic definiton is too broad..... basically the label is used to shut people up so they can be compliant idiots.
o0POSH0o 5 months ago 2
What about the FEMALE narcissists that inhabit this planet or don't they exist.?
alfriendo2008 6 months ago 4
Some of the 'symptoms' you have mentioned are those of someone who is BEING abused.
CinderellaDragon 6 months ago
I could never be a narcissist. I'm way to awesome to love someone could love someone like me.
acr08807 6 months ago
Can't understand half of what you're saying O_o
BournemouthVEVO 6 months ago
bad microphone
SW1Q1 6 months ago
First shower. Then masturbate.
bcoolbrich 6 months ago
i have known some people to have 80% of these traits. interesting to know it only takes one of them to be an abuser. thank you.
VisioninScience 7 months ago
my husband calls me terrible names and threatens me about everything. He has left bruising on me from grabbing me so hard. He makes me want to die.
julievangel 7 months ago
@julievangel the longer you let that go on, the harder it will be to get out, and the more your self esteem will be effected. Any man who abuses women should be exposed as the cowards that they are.
DTX85 7 months ago
@DTX85 And I assume the same is true of any woman who abuses men. . .correct?
fidelbogen 5 months ago
@fidelbogen Incorrect. Women can do no wrong.
DTX85 5 months ago
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@DTX85 lol, yeah right
jarg7 4 months ago
@julievangel listen you need to leave that fuck and get help.. if you fear for ur life dont because a life without freedom is not a life worth living and also im sure if you tell people whats going on they will protect you.
BuddyIStalking 7 months ago
@julievangel Have you considered killing him?
capturedpilot 6 months ago
One thing I've learned to do on a first date is to watch how they treat waiters/waitresses in a restaurant. I dated a guy who was very rude to waitresses. He eventually started to treat me the same way.
auntstacey123 7 months ago
Elisa M. Columna this is a bonda fide narcissists keeps hurting my nephew and yes this is a girl hurting a man.
acidsnake8 7 months ago
@acidsnake8 87% of what this dude said is right on.man i hope my nephew wakes the hell up thats why in 2 wiks this bitch wants to have a baby already.when they barely know each other.
acidsnake8 7 months ago
Watch how he/she treats the waiter/waitress. It can be a sure giveaway.
FoodOrFail 7 months ago
@FoodOrFail Thank you for inclusively using he/she, and waiter/waitress.
fidelbogen 5 months ago
This guy is a narcissist himself! and the leading expert on narcissism.
Triipticz 7 months ago
Guess that bad boyfriend was one...thanks.
Mysticalrozzi7 7 months ago
@ErikWanTan Introverted narcissists are scary, too: they are passive-aggressive and very secretive about sabotaging you and undermining you. Their soft and soothing insinuations and thinly veiled insults cut your ego like knife. They are so "skilled" at the silent treatment and refusing to respond in conversations. Their attitude is that of chronic superiority, omniscience, and silence. I've known several of them. Very irritating.
dutytocareforothers 7 months ago 15
@dutytocareforothers Oh yes. The compliment that's really an insult. The "I know best. Listen to me, I can help you be better" attitude. The ridiculous ultimatums. The refusal to acknowledge any fault or wrongdoing. The absolute inability to console you when you are hurting. Been there. NEVER GOING BACK.
FoodOrFail 7 months ago
@FoodOrFail I recently tried joining a new LGBT support/activity group after having been in many clubs of various sorts, including LGBTs throughout my life.It was not through a specific agency, just a local group of women. The woman who ran it exhibited almost all of these signs in just three emails,before I'd even physically met anyone. This is a power-craving personality,not always'romance' or "man-woman" I agree with the vid' , and I've 'dated' (been used by /hit on by) guys like this too.
skrinkle2000 7 months ago
@dutytocareforothers I agree. I lived with one for a couple of years, a serius and withdrawn, quiet man. The things he has done to me since I have left would make your hair stand on end. Noone would know that he is capable.
Kazzbahh 5 months ago
I've seen them a lot in universities: other than that many of them are managers. You can just look into their glassy cold eyes and feel the malice when it spews out of their insinuations, sneers, bragging, and boasting. I had a roommate like that in college: it was awful. But many others were that way, too. Narcissism and OCPD are epidemic.
dutytocareforothers 7 months ago
that is the problem in the world...almost everybody is like he just described...like Peter Joseph said " We live in a very fucked up, sick culture. We really do. Society is mentally ill. " Look up video tipe in google " who is peter joseph "
thelion2430 7 months ago
Following me into the kitchen even though it's very small and only has room for one person or into my bedroom even though it's in a mess. I shouldn't have to put bolts on the inside of doors in my own home just to keep visitors out of rooms I don't want them to go into when I'm in them.
lemsip 8 months ago
whilst more right than wrong, does generalise a bit imo.
doxppstv 8 months ago
This sounds like a description of my (former) marriage. Am getting chills just listening.
Fractelle 8 months ago
See, this is why I stick to Hookers! They're Cheap, easy, and I dont have to put up with all this bullshit!! :-)
starguard 8 months ago 2
A skilled narcissist will do many of these things in a covert and seemingly innocent way, so he appears blameless and YOU appear crazy.
This is a good video, but you have to take most of these examples and dial them back, as if they are being carried out by a spy. They want to look "good" and don't want to look "bad", so the emotional abuse if very sneaky and precise so others will not see it.
AnnaMayEyes 8 months ago 4
@AnnaMayEyes Exactly. The guy that will always be there to help a friend with material needs (a small bit of cash, a ride when a car breaks down, etc.), but who absolutely cannot help with an emotional need. Outsiders thinks he's gold, but you know better!
FoodOrFail 7 months ago
How could I have got involved with two of these guys ~ long term? Now I know... I can spot them instantly.... NO MORE.
77dianna 8 months ago 3
@77dianna
Yes, but please don't be too confident. Because these people are predators and seek out their prey. Try to think about what it might be about you that makes you a more likely victim than someone else.
FrancisPGalvin 7 months ago
any of the above? really? everyone does at least some of those things.
Xytose 9 months ago
Don't think I've ever met a person who isn't a narcissist?
redsylo 9 months ago
@redsylo Coming from someone who has a mom who's a narcissist: you'll know something's off. My mom would spill water and blame it on the cup... my mom is very loud and demands attention. If you're mentally healthy I think you'll be able to tell that after talking to this person you'll feel bad.
pineappledust 9 months ago 3
@pineappledust Are you sure she wasn't joking when she blamed the cup for spilling the water?
dutytocareforothers 7 months ago
@dutytocareforothers yeah because she doesn't joke much, and even so, she wouldn't joke if it required her putting the blame on herself. If I complain about my sadness she will tell me how that affects her. If I do one thing that's not right in her eyes then I'm a bad person. Her thinking is black and white. If you feel drained around someone or that your feelings are discounted, then don't stick around. Surround yourself with people who you're sure make you happy.
pineappledust 7 months ago
@pineappledust I know people like that. It's the culture that reinforces this behavior in two ways: our role-models teach us to be selfish and conniving: then they teach us not to get caught and if you are caught lie your way out of it. It's taught everywhere with unwritten rules and corrupt systems. State of Confusion by Bryant Welch is an excellent book that details some of what I am talking about.
dutytocareforothers 7 months ago
Thank you! This is very enlightening. :)
TheJennyroxursox 9 months ago
does she .....
LoserMillionaire 9 months ago
XD my next door neighbor is a total narcissist.
SOSTacoJohnson 9 months ago
Thank you for this. My father is a psychopath and I have good instincts for this. More people need to know these things. What I wonder about is why this list of characteristics also makes many people swoon. Many women find these things attractive to some degree, or take them as signs of caring. Is this cultural conditioning or a complimentary pathos? I suppose education may reveal that.
memeamine 9 months ago 3
I wish I would have known this 4 years ago.
jginthenow 9 months ago
so in other words...JERSEY SHORE!!!
BeachPeach16 9 months ago
samvaknin, all u say here are absolutely true.I'm a therapist and I've been in a relationship with an NPD/BPD for 5 yrs.I also recently treated an NPD for 10 months.But I just have to add for your viewers the following:according to the field narcissism blossoms, NPDs can exhibit substantial differences.For example, if the narcissist's "thing" is their being oversensitive, it's possible u see them worshiping kids(or so they claim) and the weaker persons.In order to appear their strong savior
ioandes 9 months ago
I figure all you need to do to avoid abusive relationships is to be clear as to your boundaries and to avoid becoming involved with anyone who is unwilling to respect those boundaries.
Three chances is enough. That should be made clear too.
candistyx 9 months ago
i even know people (friends) who do a version of these things... thanks for the heads up :)
peazlove247 10 months ago
Some black fella moved into my place in the 80's and I was told by the local hospital he is a known psychopath. And their eyed bugged out like a horror show at knowing the guy was living in my house. Listening to this you brought back old memories of this creepy prick. Last I heard of him he is in prison for rape and attempted murder. He raped a abo girl and tied her up and put her on a bull ants nest in northern NSW.
Zoink555 10 months ago
Its a subtle process of "divorcing" the victim from their support networks. They lie. Beginning and end of story. If only I'd been able to get this information ten years ago, I may have saved myself 8 years in the seventh level of hell with the father of lies himself. He was super secretive, or lied, yet went through everything of mine, including my computer files and deleting precious (irreplaceable) photos of my family. First time I've ever believed that a human is beyond redemption.
Kayenne54 11 months ago
One thing I am curious about though...is it all that likely a psychopath or sociopath would make themself that obvious? I guess it depends on how intelligent the individual is to some extent. As well as how well developed their skills are at hiding their abusive intentions...
Magrith888 11 months ago 2
This description most definitely applies to a man an ex friend of mine married around 6 years ago. I always believed him to be an abuser because of picking up on alot of these signs pretty early on into knowing him. Watching this video has confirmed that opinion even more strongly! Many thanks for putting up - I found that very interesting to watch and listen to!
Magrith888 11 months ago
Wow who would want to be with some one like this?
tomikah95 11 months ago
@tomikah95 Not many in my view. In such cases as these, the person with the abusive personality already understands this, so creates a false personna to lure unsuspecting vulnerable targets into the trap of being in a relationship with them. Tends to happen during the courting phase of the relationship, while the abuser establishes the control strategies over the other person that are the most likely to be successful.
Magrith888 11 months ago
@Magrith888 That's what my roommate did to me. It was awful. How do they come up with the plans. And why is it that every single narcissist does the same techniques and tactics. How does this happen? I believe it's cultural.
dutytocareforothers 7 months ago
@dutytocareforothers Hey there Duty. I'm sorry to hear about your experience. On coming up with their plans, my personal guess is that unfortunately intelligence , as well as continuing practice throughout their lives, are both factors as to why these people become so good what they do. Imo they see this as a skill necessary to develop for themselves - because to them, because of their issues, they see it as crucial in order to get what they want out of life - sadly. :-(
Magrith888 7 months ago
@tomikah95 No one. But decent people judge others as themselves. That's mistake No: 1. Mistake No: 2 is believing that all people have some redeeming characteristics. Psychopaths don't. Mistake No: 3 is thinking that YOU are the crazy one for seeing the cracks in the facade. Mistake No: 4 thinking that love will make a difference. It won't. Mistake No: 5 is not realizing that you WILL NOT RECOGNIZE a psychopath unless you've already been there, done that, and maybe not even then..THEY LIE.
Kayenne54 11 months ago 2
Remember girls, never spot on the first date.
I really fit many of these criteria at times, but I seem to fade in and out of my psychopathy-related tendencies.
A psychologist that treated me for a while swear by me as a non-psychopathic person. We seem to have agreed on me being a Histrionic-type.
Is it possible to have tendencies towards antisocial-narcissistic behavior without falling into the profile of someone with this kind of personality disorder?
Ebvardh 11 months ago
Why many womans realy like those guys ?
InstructorKM 1 year ago
i Have NPD And im not violent nor heartless, I love god and im a Christian.some of the theories you have our inaccurate.If you have questions about narcissistic personality ask me
navysubmarineofficer 1 year ago
He forgot to mention the eyes. Psychopaths have evil eyes (the definition of evil is simply; lack of goodness), look at Sam Vaknin himself for example.
If you realisticly want to avoid problems you shouldn't get close to people who looks more evil than good, which means people who doesn't look at least 50 % kind. The opposite of a psychopath, someone who is 100 % good, is as common or uncommon as a psychopath, about 3-5 % of the human population.
stigludwigsen 1 year ago
@stigludwigsen Practicing the eyes is easy, one can use an attractive actor to model them. One only needs a few reliable countenances to fall back on to fool people.
RarianRakista 1 year ago
@stigludwigsen Some of the worst advice I've read. A sociopath will appear however they need to, to get what they want.
If you want to try and avoid bad people, you should judge people on their actions instead of prejudging them on their body language.
micesacle 11 months ago
If you show a narcisst how they fit the description of a narcist, how will they react?
HatRatt 1 year ago
it's all questions lol
Silvoleon 1 year ago
Thanks for this!
schwarg 1 year ago
People like me and no amount of advice you give them can change that.
jigoku66 1 year ago
lol the dislike is a narcissist... hahahaha
TrueVeracity 1 year ago
YOU SIR are describing my brother as if it was his biography, who defines the worst of sophisticated narcissists who tests. overwhelmingly positive for these symptoms, every damn last one. Great advice and good insight into the use of plights as nothing more than a useful status and arm rest for the narcissist who roam around looking for their next victims.
TrueVeracity 1 year ago