Kevin Smith's Dogma Boardroom Scene

[dk5388]

God bless you Loki

[kmonaco75]

"I do believe in this...what does that mean?!"

*in the background* "...and one to grow on!"

Hysterical!!!

[robvollman]

So the men are bad people, and the one woman is good?

[MickyLiveari]

@robvollman Yep. They all committed sins punishable by death, except for her.

[palejewel676]

@MickyLiveari @robvollman In 2009, the Bureau of Justice reported 92.9% of prisoners (not jail inmates) were male. And the spread is even greater for violent offenders with most of the women being in for recreational drug use.

Just sayin'.

[Hawkknight88]

@robvollman Go watch the whole movie. It's worth it.

[maxtheitpro]

this is the PUNISHMENT that should await those crooked Wall Street bankers & their puppet politicians who caused the this global financial mess & the ensuing austerity measures on PEOPLE all over the world!!

[johnrkocena14]

Matt Damon's best scene

[Rams4life94]

"But you didn't say God bless you when I sneezed!"

[DRush76]

What in the fuck does Kevin Smith know about Vodou?

[BobbyD167]

you're his father you sick fuck!

[Nawang58]

wow its great....

[Wolfsbane909]

Smoke one for me BOB!! heh

[metal882]

15 people didnt say god bless you when he sneezed

[Dragoon91786]

@metal882 Edit: Make that 16. Fufufu. Can someone find these guys and send them over to the execs of the company formerly known as Sci-fi? I heard some fans could use a little "judgement". :)

[sjmoney102183]

"...none of you have anything left to fear anymore"

[crazytrain58]

Best Line "Well since we can't get laid we'll do the next best thing"

"Yay what's that "

"We'll Kill people"

*Lady looks at then*

"Oh no not you"

[Yawehplaneswalker616]

If Wall Street doesn't clean its act up, someone (not me) is going to do this.

[IMawesomerthanyo]

@Yawehplaneswalker616 I will, for the lord has and will always cast it's vengeance on those who are against him.

[DarthZimmeris666]

@Yawehplaneswalker616 Probably not, and even if they did: It's just one company. You cannot solve the "problem of Wall Street" by killing anyone, that's a simplistic approach to an infinitely complicated problem.

[MrOldskoolmetal]

can we put these two in the board room of Big Oil?

[Muchachi617]

@labinotify never says that.

[Ltspe1rs]

2:10 - 2:19 Haha

"No one says Bless you?

OK, I'm gonna have to kill you all "

[JBrewer4386]

LMAO I wouldn't have toyed with the nice lady like that lol, that's mean

[helen1908]

14 people don't believe in voodoo :p

[NSchaffer2]

@helen1908 lol

[buakawkaoklai]

dogma is a offense to atheists...it mocks the beliefs on nothing...

[SuperVariation]

shame the rest of the film is shit

[PaulWykel]

i had no idea how sexist this part of the movie was. kevin smith is one of those guys who sucks the feminist tit too hard

[J060191]

I've been to the building they filmed this in.

It's the U.S. Steel Tower in Pittsburgh

[2ndhandsoul]

Did anyone else say or even think "bless you" when Matt Damon sneezed? If you did, you are safe, I think.

[sareee2]

"your his father, you sick fuck!" lmao i love matt damon

[IggyHazard]

You'd think Kevin Smith, being Catholic, would realize that Voodoo is partially based around Catholicism (combined with ancient tribal rites).

Loki uber alles! }:-D

[Paulomycin]

@IggyHazard Agreed. You'd also think that Kevin Smith, being Catholic, would realize there were 14 apostles in the Bible: Saul of Tarsus (Paul) and Matthias, who acted as an office placeholder for Judas Iscariot.

[DRush76]

Voodoo IS NOT partially based around Catholicism. It's based upon West African religion. When African slaves reached the Caribbean and other parts of the New World that had Catholic practitioners, they mixed Catholicism with Vodou in their religious practices.

[IggyHazard]

@DRush76 That's what I meant.

[PhidippusAudax]

when i was in esl class, my spanish classmates would say 'bless tu' when i sneeze, and it would sound like 'blast you!'

[formerfreak]

you remind me of the babe

[tFighterPilot]

This is ironic given the fact that all Christians worship Jesus as a god, and thus are idolaters.

[punkmusicmetal]

@tFighterPilot Oh please... Way to oversimplify a religion that is a obviously contradictory. Oh wait...

[lakid87]

@tFighterPilot it's the worship of "other" idols...christians have a egotistical god

[thesacmancometh]

@lakid87 I'm not religious but if their was a god a one true god I could see why it's be a sin to draw people down a false path. A egotistacal god would intel that said god would be one of many, like a Zeus or Odin type of thing.

[MoneyR8]

MYATT DAEYMAN!

[TheOrangeLemon]

"But you forgot to say "Bless you" when I sneezed"

[pyrogyra72]

Most disturbing scene in the whole film, but also my favorite. I especially loved the bit with the "voodoo" doll, where they set you up as if something was going to happen, but all that happened was the guy was just scared sh*tless. .. at least until Loki returns with the gun.

[pyrogyra72]

Not only did he forget the magazine, he also forgot the fast food chain.

[Radar180]

@Msearl83

No, mooby's is from Dogma, which came out before Clerks 2. Mooby's was also in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, which came out right after Dogma.

[dc2bnaz]

My all-time favorite movie scene!

[Msearl83]

how many of you know that mooby is from clerks 2?

[pinonoir302]

you may proceed, mon ami...

[zodiacza]

i like matt.

matt and ben should do more comedies together!

they could be the next walter matthau and jack lemmon.

[JillieRawr]

"you didnt say bless you when i sneezed!" lmao i love this movie! <3

[TheGoGoCommandos]

Thanks!

[darkcloud1111]

I really want to know what the board chairman did that couldnt be said aloud

[roses845]

@darkcloud1111 duh abuse him sexually "hes your SON, you sick fuck" (or close to that line, im para-phrasing)

[pillowpantsforlife2]

@roses845

or he disowned him for homosexuality or something like that

[roses845]

@pillowpantsforlife2 I thought that but how is it sick to disown him? its more of a you dick bastard to disown him.

[pillowpantsforlife2]

@roses845

Perhaps it's a love child, like he knows he has a kid and just ignores it

[zeekyblahIV]

stop it at 0:37. Maaaaaaaaaatt Daaamon!

[ranzingerm]

But you didn't say god bless you when i sneezed hahaha

[RedOctober2891]

You're his father, you sick fuck!

Faith! Faith, all of you pigs!

[RedOctober2891]

You're his father, you sick fuck!

[svtcontour]

Really like this movie and this indeed is one of the best scenes. Like the part when he splatters the onion voodoo doll :)

[KevinHomicide]

what gun did he use O_O

[catfacechimp]

@KevinHomicide a desert eagle :p

[JBrewer4386]

@KevinHomicide Looks like a Desert Eagle

[KaelGian93]

don't run!!!... DON'T RUN!!!

[TheBobbymcd]

stay off alex jones page if your iQ is too low to understand what goes on around you

[00Billy]

This has to be in my top 20 scenes all time...

[jackwuzhear]

Gum?

[stayneknaveofhearts]

this movie is amazing. ;3

i love this part.

"but you didn't say God bless you when I sneezed!"

[MrSchmoolie]

You're gettin' off light.

[reaperman1982]

@MrSchmoolie Your so lucky

[manidar1977]

As a muslim, this scene has so many additional meanings to me. Amazing stuff. amazing acting and choice of dialogue. bravo Kevin smith and very well done Ben and Matt.

[wpgsav420]

lmao matt damon "dont run! dont run!

[pet3rgriffin]

this scene actually made me believe in god...

[jek21]

@pet3rgriffin That's pretty sad.

[pet3rgriffin]

@jek21 i know it is thanks dipshit.

[frostek]

"Don't run! Don't run!!!" :-D

[jakxcombat]

"But you didn't say God bless you when i sneezed..."

lmao!

[guruguruponchan27]

"Mr.Brace disowned his gay son very compassionate mr Braaaace."

[Wolfsbane909]

@guruguruponchan27 yep he get's killed too as u can see...

[deathtwo7]

5.37 voodoo

[PULSE666Fang]

"and one to grow on!"

[devmoran2]

fakes fakes fakes ' all of you fakes just love this movie

[Vasun05]

@devmoran2 i thought he said pigs

[manwithoutaplan1]

PIGS!!! ALL OF YOU PIGS!!! hahahaha Matt is badass

[FricksBabyGirl]

Matt and Ben are amazing, they need to do another movie together again. I love when the music is playing and Matt kind of skips around, and then goes on a killing spree.

[Wolfsbane909]

lol, i forgot how funny this movie was!

[AndRod29]

i'd like to point out that there are seven sinning board members (7 deadly sinners)

[lmscarface]

is there anyone who knows what kind of knife matt damon is wielding throughout this movie, i really like the double edge style of it, can someone give me a link to one that looks close?? i would really appreciate it

[4Tiny2]

Achoo.

[MegaApple2]

but you didnt say BLESS YOU!

[DaveMartinCanuck]

where were these two when we needed them on Wall Street two years ago?

[Transformers217]

@DaveMartinCanuck LOL! :)

[goodyear2602]

Gum?

[piplup2009]

the endings messed up when he starts killing people and the song is playing

[croationchick96]

i love this scene !! one of my favorite movies too !

[jefflo49]

"ALL LINES ARE CURRENTLY DOWN....."

[11ILOVECANDY]

But you didn't say god bless you when I sneezed!

[WestcoastOS]

did anyone pick up on the Enoch reference in the back ground poster. The non-canonized book of Enoch any one? any one?

[10kreider]

I love how ben gives the thumbs up and says "good for you"

[ToTeff]

Oh my GOD! I NEED to see this movie!!!

[patreesh]

@ToTeff Indeed !! You won't be disappointed!  =)

[chafaclon]

if only bartleby would do that to those corporate pigs at wall street

[doctorw2]

i dont like corperate finks!

[23jaydee23]

Aww they are so cute

[sablehuskey]

Mr. Brace, disowned his gay son.. very compastionate mr. brace!

[sablehuskey]

This is my favorite scene in the whole movie :D

[spiegelbild90]

I think Matt and Ben are better in this together than in Good will hunting. I mean, good will hunting is a fucking great movie. but these roles in dogma are quite matching to the actors. And Affleck is soo great in this scene!

[pyrogyra72]

Not only did Bartleby forgot the magazine, he forgot about the Fast food chains and the ever popular "Egga Mooby Muffin."

[generalloonatic85]

Seriously love matt damon! Sociopathic angel has me in hysterics every time!

[Joaquin602001]

"Did, uh... did I miss anything?"

"You forgot Mooby Magazine."

"...damnit!!"

[artomalcov]

both of these guys shined in these roles.

[AmeKeaka]

My wife says 'You don't have to say God bless you when you sneeze" and I always say it. She needs to see this scene!

[TheLordKnightmare]

I love Matt Damon, he's great. I always hated how he turned good at the end and still died.

[N00Bie92]

you didnt say god bless you as i sneezed!

[frozenfisherman]

i like how they commit the least commonly committed sin.

genius

[arsenalfc308]

Wish they would come and sort out the directors of the company I work for lol

[vegnx]

"You're so lucky!"

lmao

[skilledtrailers]

Arent they supposed to be angels of the Christian faith? Why are they reprimanding a man for disowning his gay son? Don't Christians condemn homosexuality?

[hollowbastiongrl]

It does but it also says to forgive and love. Kind of hypocritical if you ask me, but whatever.

[Shanethefilmmaker]

@hollowbastiongrl well that and they don't really give a shit about gay people so long as they don't get married.

[Tywin13]

because jesus embraced lepors and hookers and taught his followers to love all of god's children no matter who they are gay or not, so therefore even if homosexuality is not accepted by christians they are still supposed to love everyone

[Brien182]

haven't seen the movie in a while, but i do believe they're from hell. Plus it's just a movie. Christians do normally condemn it, but we also believe in tolerance. It's strange how Christ's own actions contradict scripture, but the bible is mostly composed of documents, teachings, ect.. from prophets. So it's hard to form an opinion on anything. Most athiests and other religious people believe the bible is all god's word, which is how they package their argument.

[palejewel676]

No, they're not from hell. They were kicked out of Heaven to live on Earth for being too compassionate - for feeling sorry for the ppl they were supposed to wreak vengeance on. So now they've found a way back in and this is a peace offering/last hurrah of sorts. See the movie. Or be Catholic.

[Brien182]

ohhh. it's been a while since i've seen it.

[BlackStarClique]

@palejewel676 i agree! i felt so sorry for them...especially after the parking lot scene...

[yamiblade]

@palejewel676

Well they mainly were kicked out because the one that told good they were lying down the sword was piss drunk and flicked him off when he told him

[comedynitegard]

@palejewel676 Well its not so much that they were too compassionate it was because bartleby convinced loki to quit his ub when he was drunk and loki ended up cursing and flicking off God

[Transformers217]

@palejewel676 I'm becoming a Christian again, and I still love this movie! :)

[Wolfsbane909]

@palejewel676 It's a nice thought to know that the Angels will take vengeance on your behalf for their wicked ways. Some of the ppl in that room r pretty scummy.

[nymetsfan9121]

@palejewel676 lmfaoo im catholic and i love this movie

[letsfuku]

but you did not say God bless you.

[fablerules13579]

Gum!!! lolXD

[JerryChristia]

Hahaha that's amazing.

[OneGaurdian]

One of the most awesome movie scenes, ever!

[vince1074]

This is one of Ben Afflecks best performances.

Matt Damon is always good.

[awsomemotherfucker]

@vince1074 best was good will hunting then this

[WatchMyAwesomeVideos]

Agreed. Matt Damon is a naturally talented actor. He makes everything better

[chilly22]

@vince1074 id say the scene in chasing amy when he professes his love is his best scene

[curriejean]

@chilly22 The second-hand embarrassment induced by that scene is palpable.

[swimfastfly27]

"I can't believe you forgot the magazine..."

[gothtigger92]

just so I don't get shot by Loki, "God bless you."

[crazemelon]

"did uh, did I miss anything?"

" You forgot moobie magazine"

"Dammit!!"

[InfiniteMisery003]

but not from God

[saintconnnor]

god equals free will,

so for the love of good, tell me which god is your choice, ill make my own decision

[ArashiKage99]

" YOU'RE GETTIN OFF LIGHT!!!!"

[HeartIOnceHad]

But I do believe in this...Lol!

[iloveoreos15]

LOL.

"Will you just knock it off!"

"Hey, your doing it again! Now stop! What did we talk about?"

[BlueJeansProductions]

DON'T RUN! DON'T RUN!

[TheSkewsMe]

Best Disney (subsidiary) film ever!

[patataton]

@TheSkewsMe

pulp fiction (subsidiary too) was the first disney movie with an anal rape scene

[awsomemotherfucker]

@patataton pulp fiction is mirimax

[FeelTheSexualTension]

Hey... is that blonde the guy who plays Justin on Queer As Folk?

[MrMaggot420]

"Flew to Thailand on the company account to have sex with an 11 year old boy" Fucked up

"He's your son, you sick fuck."

[dropkickproductions1]

You forgot Mooby magazine

Dammit! LOLXD

[RalfYakk]

no..... actually they raise the moral dilema of wether or not homosexuality is acceptable and cristians while they do not condone this act are compelled to show compassion to everyone no matter what creed religion or sexual orientation..... it's called tolerance....

[patataton]

it's funny they criticize one of the guys for disown his son for being homosexual

but the christians disown all homosexuals

[buzianyadatutube]

Christianity does not equel God

[CountryBoyRoby]

@patataton Some do, most just look it at like it's a sin such a lying and everyone sins. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

[davejgallant]

haha...you're getting off light...you're so lucky!! haha

[CHINABABYBEAR18]

"pigs, pigs, ALL OF YA PIGS!!!" lol

[cooleogirl97]

but i do believe in this! lol

[MaxNailbomb]

This be seriously smear film.Biggest arse.Who knows,how much such society at our place be likely??? ?A excuse mine English.

[TheNilesEdge]

Iz it can be grammar lesson time now plz?

[MaxNailbomb]

I'm Czech,improvize,so sorry .he he he

[TheNilesEdge]

Aww, haha. It's cool ... I was just joking. :P

[mossgeorge2001]

You know I actually wouldn't mind being The Angel of Death when I die. It looks like a nice job & no matter who you are I will get you lol. Smite them man smite them all.

[Honjuden]

AND ONE TO GROW ON

[Ben1977820]

But you....on the other hand...are an innocent, you lead a good life...........but you didnt say god bless you when i sneezed....

LOKI!

[Ben1977820]

"You forgot Moogy magazine"...."Damn it"

"Cant believe you forgot the magazine"

[SoylentGreenISHUNGRY]

MOOBY

[JuniusFaction]

It's interesting that he says voodoo has no real doctrine, and in this movie it is harmless.

By contrast, Catholicism, which does have a doctrine, threatens to destroy the world.

It makes me think about what Eddie Murphy says in the movie about ideas being fine, but beliefs being more dangerous.

[LionelHutzFTW]

Um.... that wasn't Eddie Murphy.... it was Chris Rock.