Resisting A Binge

[bxctbeauty333]

i knew you looked familiar. you came into my restaurant one time. having been a sufferer myself, you really caught my eye. HUGS sweetie <3

[RomeoBoi101]

wow i know you posted this years ago but i have only just found your channel and gd for you for not buying that huge salad and binge/purging it you should be proud, i see videos of women with annorexia or bulemia and think its about time more men came out about it, keep it up mr x

[monicaduncanis]

Your have really made me think about the things that I put into my body!!! Your a sweetie , my you get the stength to over come what ever demons your fighting with .... But your right we should pay more attention to what we consume !!! I dont know you ,but I really like you... GGGGGGGooooooooooo Johnnyyyyyyyy!!!! <3 your a doll...

[whoisyouis]

scarf and barf session

[udhsdhsiod]

I know how you feel. good luck xx

[Maedusasuicide]

Face it : you're just hungry. That's all.

[lovelee199]

Thank you so much i was really feeling like sliping today you helped me so much :)

[oriionlady]

You're just so cool :) You inspire me from the day I first saw you. You look cute and I wish you will recover soon - I mean, I am totaly healthy and I still can learn things from you..how cool is that!

Greetings from Slovenia! <3

[Bonjour1O]

good decision. you are awesome. i love this.

[losingweightroyce]

this helps

[nelly11796]

resisting...resisting....omg, i really want that ice cream.....

NO. i will NOT have that ice cream! Why? Because your video was really inspirational :)

[OneMagicalMoment]

i love your style!!

[JrInTuneWithTheWord]

Amen! God is good!!! This video is almost like you took my own recent experience and posted a video about it.

[Janestlllikessecrets]

I think it's interesting that you would mention shopping addiction, as I really believe it points to a larger issue; that being Bulimia is a consumption disorder-somehow we reach out for something to satisfy our hurting souls. I understand, walking away from a binge, spontaneous or planned is a HUGE success. I'm so happy for you!

[medicgirl1730]

I wish I had your strength! I have to remember this the next time I think about binging.

[nyckris06]

I feel like a failure every minute of a binge/purge cycle. you have such a beautiful soul and I am praying for your recovery and I hope one day I will find the strength to accept recovery.

[SubliminalHeat]

this helps alot. It's hard, really really hard.

[50hellkat2]

You have no idea how helpful this is to anyone suffering from an addiction.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Namaste. I really appreciate this feedback. thank you, bless you!

[Glitterthesky]

I can totally relate to you, its like a monster that tries to take over....salad bars are the worst cause you just say, "oh, I can eat a big plate of this cause its healthy food"......but wwe know that volume eating wether its healthy food or not is part of the disease

[dayamsta]

Thank you for posting this. I relate to you alot as i have not met many people who suffer from anorexia and bulimia together at least not here in person. Its a lethal combination. Like you ive suffered alot of problems gastro intestinaly but also want to make people aware about potassium. I sufferer horrifically from low potassium and its very very LIFE THREATENING! so if your purging, i urge you to get you bloods checked weekly at least. with all the love in the universe x

[MsBloggerAnonymous]

Actually it IS common for disorders to merge. Essentially they are different ways to cope with the same problem, you see.

[dayamsta]

hang on i never said it wasnt!!!i have both so i dont understand ur point replying to my comment sorry x

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Hey how are your potassium levels now? are you still dealing with hypokalemia? what are your levels - generally speaking, do you know the number?

[dayamsta]

@MyOwnStickFigure hey my johnny. actually ive not been online as im in hospital now with K levels at 2.7. i was admitted at 2.1 . this is the second time in the nexw year ive been in. last year it was every week. its been a realy struggle and thats no with vomiting that much. my bulima used to be much worse but i never had it that bad. i guess over time the body cant cope. how about you?xxx

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Are you on drip till you reach atleast 3.5? I am generally 2.5 but have increased through regular IV treatment... still low though due to excess purging. You are in my thoughts and prayers, I am dealing with major food demons right now and bulimia.

[dayamsta]

yea well normally until 3 but they want to get it to 5 now for le way!!im so sorry you have to feel this bastard that is bulimia. im always praying for you johnny, through pray things WILL get better. Why bulimia and the power it has is so strong i dont know. as an energy it could cause would explosion im sure!!i pray for you bloods also. i leave hosp tomorrow:) i love you johnny please stay safe!we have mega snow here and UK cant cope:( one say il come visit and hug my love and light into you x

[dayamsta]

oh my typing is really terrible!!i ment to say ONE DAY!!lol xxxx

[xGobbinsx]

You look kind of like Karima Frances, even though she's a woman... but she kind of looks like a dude.

Anyway, you seem so clever and interesting. Please keep trying. Practise makes perfect!

Take care x

[dhatudharma]

how do you ge \t that nice wood floor?

[leatherlips33]

i love you johnny!

thanks for the motivation! ((:

[audreygeraldine123]

I wish I would know you personally!! Thank you for your videos, you help me with this, and I'm sure you help a lot of people. I wish you all the best!

[BelinderrrBeyBey]

wow its like you a braver version of me, thank you

[fashionbitch234]

thank you so much for this :)

well done, you seem like an amazing person. good luck!

[78547087854708]

You are a very brave and honest person. I find your videos to be inspirational and comforting. I hope someday you and I get over our eating disorders, peace and love

[glamonicaa]

You are amazing love <3

Hang in there, you are strong.

[CatrionaBlackburn]

Thanks, i've bookmarked this vid it really helps me. I hope your well xxx

[SupineSophie]

You're strong. Good luck

[hatemeifuwant]

thank you so much for this.

[marlley08]

You're so gorgeous!

[joanifur]

your house looks cool!

i wanna hang with you! your so awesome

[AshProductionS123]

wow...  you should watch videos from courneyblaircameron

[YIPPPYSKIPPY]

i cant believe how much youve changed...for the better obviously. I stumbled upon this video, as I see that was from almost a year ago! You look so sick...so bland...your voice even sounds completely different. Im so glad the real Johny is coming back out in your newer videos. So much better...I mean you get the message out and everything. Its amazing how much of a difference HEALTH makes. I still love you though, I just see just a suffering person in this one...xo

[MyOwnStickFigure]

I understand you mean well, don't get me wrong dear but it's inapproperiate to say I look sick/bland when I look at this and thank God I was alive then and am still alive now. Let's focus on better ways to articulate care and concern for one another...And yes, health does make a big difference. I am the same weight NOW as I was in the video, however, my mental health is better and sleep is better and I am getting a powerhouse of nutrients through my raw super foods. I also have God.

[YIPPPYSKIPPY]

I just got this...sorry im 2 weeks late. Im sorry. I didnt mean to...cause any negativity. I wanted to let you know that your mental changes SHOW. I hope you feel like you have progessed alot. Weight wise...doesnt matter. I was not even thinking of that, thats nothing. I meant your overall BEING. You have a spark back and I wanted to let you know that hard work does pay off. Yes thank God you were still alive. And the message in this video is still wonderful..

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Thank you sweetie, that is very kind of you to explain what you meant! I'm glad you understood my reaction too. Thank God BOTH of us are still here!!! Ps. I know my weight will build ad my mental health does which is why I am working extra hard right now in 2 kinds of therapy to address deep roots to the development of my eds. I do a lot of mental processing - under care of medical professionals and individually and it's been PAYING OFF big time. You are right, my spark has returned!!! Thank u!

[FrozenCharles]

i love your dialect

[JuxtapozWithMe]

I keep staring at the pizza in my bosses refrigerator. I want so badly to crawl into the  container its in and eat all of that pizza. but this is my third whole day without binging and I DON'T WANT TO ANYMORE!! I WANT TO LIVE. watching this video helped so much you have no idea. You're amazing. thank you!!

[MyOwnStickFigure]

WOW now THAT Is some self control, that is power for you not the ed. WAY TO GO. This is so inspiring to hear. Thank you for sharing. There are many times I lost it and got into other's food. One year my Mom and Step Dad had to lock food in their van while they were away... and I ended up, through the disease, BREAKING INTO THE CAR at midnight on christmas eve... it can get that insane. They came back Christmas day to spend with me and I couldn't even face them and left, Xmas ruined... bad idea

[MyOwnStickFigure]

With that being said, your comment helps me the way this video helps you. It shows that we can fight urges, how I did in this video and how hard you have been fighting.

[slothsh]

awesome job! congrats! I understand how hard it is.

[butterfly0of0grace]

good video. i just warded off a b/p tonight with the same thing...only my roommate was the one to say you dont need it right now. then i thought about what you had said (without having watched this first) and now im glad i warded off that binge. thanks for being an inspiration.

[emobaby112]

If only I saw this earlier.. I just binged big time and now i feel so disgusted with myself :(

[caveat21]

god i need to hear the "not today/not right now" thing over and over! I know it, but I still need to hear it!

[arranparma]

your approach is realy helpful, thanks xxxx ll the best

[Stuhletto]

its sad because when you try to fight bulimia, you get an even bigger fear of food and eating because of your fear of binging, so then you may go anorexic.. its so horrible :(

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Not always. My bulimia resulted from my anorexia. If one is fighting bulimia they are trying to recover. If they are motivated to recover they will fight everything else that comes along the way including anorexia nervosa and associated eds. One needs to be headstrong. I suggest you look into shift kicking your mentality into a healthier change of focus, it would be more motivating for you my dear! HUGS

[Stuhletto]

Yeah i find it really hard to eat, when i think about food i feel sick and unhappy :( I started a pastry class because i love creating beautiful cakes and pastries... and i think getting more involved in the making of it and admiring the beauty and taste might help me. your videos really help.. thank you. :)

[skunkiefunky]

You are AMAZING! I come and watch your videos when I'm feeling down. You always make me smile in some way! I hope that didn't sound totally creepy! My bulimia is also a result of anorexia. I've heard it more often than not reffered as a "skinny bulemic". Your so right about recovery though. So many people fail at it because it wasnt a choice they had made for themselves. I want to send you a message later about my theory on the non-neurological side of bulimia!!

Love love love!!!!

[galaxycat3]

Such a vivid description of the salad and the bulimia taking over and piling on the potatoes and the cheese...

I can understand the two oppositional feelings... torn between two options

The focus on the salad

[pumpuriukas]

you are true inspiration. i'm looking for vids like yours, couse i'm planing to participate in helping people with eating dissoders in local center, they need help, they need love. you are so inspiring. i get ideas from you. thanx

[dancewitme69]

wow.. u are the best!!!!!!!

[bloodsugasexxmagik]

20+ Stars

I like how I could relate to the weighing up of wastes; leaving the salad out in the open after making it and progressing by for that moment not losing sanity, health and logic and moving on.

Thanks I like that you're sharing your words.

I have the same behaviours and similar mind as I'm sure others do not as wise and with well constructed words though :)

Thank You again,

Donna

[DancinNaked]

Your room is awesome. So are you.

[ashyowlx]

wow. ive given in to every binge, you are sooo strong so amazing. when i watch your videos its like listening to a friend. i really like you :]

[fairyday]

Yummy!! The ingredients you kept adding to your salad made it even more delicious but of course all the more scary too but really you should allow to have a little of something you fancy otherwise by keeping yourself on a strict line all the time eventually your body will rebel by making you want to binge.

[x1xorganisedchaosx1x]

i love you.

just thought you should know that.

you are such an inspiration!

[tobybroadie]

I must say, it is nice to see that you make videos that in no way PROMOTE ed's like so many others on youtube. Your very honest about everything, and I think people need to hear the truth. It bothers me when people spin eating disorders as glamorous. Keep up the good vids. Thank you.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

in ways we have all once been those people, when warped and trapped in the diseased mind. it becomes us, takes over and we lose ourselves if we allow it. thank you so much for recognizing my purpose and messages for this yt blog, xoxxo

[goal100to95to90]

i kind of promote them...but i think it's a good coping startagy...that really works....and i think it can bring happiness to some people...like it's really helping me cope...just becouse it's a maladaptive coping stratagy, doesn't mean that it can't be helpful....besides ... people that eat normally ... they're not 100% healthy either...

[veggieeater567]

o Lord, you are so in insporational,you are reminding me there IS chioce, keep us updated hell maybe ill even try recovery again if you can do it, so can i

[existentialist79]

You are a great inspiration for us who suffer from eating disorders. You seem honest and mature about your struggles and I think that you are allready on the way to recovery because you clearly acknowledge how this is affecting your life. Best of luck and thanks for your honest thoughts and insights:)

[movethis0804]

Thats amazing. You are so strong and motivational!

[LovelyLolaCola]

Wow, great job. You're living proof that intelligence is in no way associated with mental illness. Otherwise, you'd be as healthy as can be.

I hope you're proud of yourself today, you really deserve to be.

Best of luck.

[T97Frida]

That gave me goosebumps. You were so brave today. Everytime I´m wathcing one of your vids I keep my fingers crossed for you. I´m proud of you.

[sintegrate]

i made a comment about this displacement behavior on your v-day vid. While i understand your train of thought, in my opinion it may also be detrimental. By seperating your EDs, you are heavily personifying them and thus feeding into thier power over you.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

They are a part of me that wasn't given a voice as a child, if I don't give them a voice then I will not be able to help myself. I'm doing what works for me and that is what is important, everyone works different.

[bonescry]

i am so inspired. i took the opposite course of action yesterday and bought the food and then sat in the bathroom at school fighting with myself and ended up acting out in my behaviors. once i bought it, the trigger was too strong to resist. i feel stronger, though, knowing that you did this. i do have choices. more power than my ed could ever have over me. thank you.

[tinydancer08]

i'm going through my own recovery right now and your videos have given the courage to keep going. i have something you said posted my bedroom mirror "yes i do have more power than my eating disorder could ever have over me." thank you.thank you.

[dee1kouknow]

OMG u so inspire me i really had this problem were my boyfriend would call me fat and a bunch of other stuff and i stopped eating because of it idk how i started but i just stopped and i became really embarresd when i hade to eat in front of people and it got so worse i stopped drinking liquds i even stopped drinking water and it waz really hard for me with my mom cuz like my mom knows me inside and out and its still hard and (im still with my bf by the way)

[wonderwoman55]

You are such a sweetheart!

I was in the exact same situation yesterday in the grocery store. I was loading up on chokolate, cookies, cheese, potato chips, bread, butter...all for a nasty binge and a nasty hang-over-the-toilet-session afterwards...but I said "NO! Not right now!" I put everything back and felt kinda stupid doing it...but hell! That´s that f*cking bulimia screaming! We´ll do it, Honey! You are awesome! I´ll join the recovery ride!

[maraballerina]

i've just started watching your videos, and I just wanted to let you know I'm relating SO much, I've started this year really trying to work on myself and my recovery. Thank you, for putting yourself out there, and sharing this struggle. You really are doing something amazing... keep fighting.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Hi Sweetie. Congrats to you too for taking a road of life this year! You've got a support buddy in me! Keep fighting too. Ps. Do you dance ballet?

[theicanc]

You know how much I love separating the eating disorder from your ACTUAL self. It makes me very happy to hear you do that :) I love that you have made this channel. I truly hope it is a kind of therapy for you while also helping others.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Thank you Bel. It's so healing. I bet you feel the same way about your vids too. I always love, them especially the art ones!

[hailstorm1375]

I know your videos are more about ED's and the addictions that come with them, but I have to say that you are helping me see things in my addictions too. Thank you! I hope you keep posting! You are an amazing Human Being!

Peace and much Love!

[MyOwnStickFigure]

I am so glad I can have this effect. Realizations are a step forward. Keep fighting yours, whatever they may be.

[dietcokequeen]

I'm so happy you resisted the binge and purge.

You are so strong and I wish you the best of luck with your recovery. I'll be rooting for you!

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Thank you, sometimes I stand tall and sometimes I fall but I would much rather focus on the times I stand tall. They motivate me to continue to try to move forward!

[trixiegoil]

you are absolutely so bright and vibrant. it breaks my heart to know and see you're struggling with this illness. i've been watching videos and reading things about ed because my baby sister is dealing with ednos. i have no idea how to help her. i pray for your recovery because you seem like someone who has much to contribute to this world

[MyOwnStickFigure]

you are so sweet to get yourself educated to help her. let me know if you'd like support. i can give you some realistic advice on how to deal. my mom, father and sister all have/had eds ... as well as myself.

[LucyShy]

I've NEVER been able to do that..

I'm amazed that you could do that..

"Not right now"...

I wonder if I could use that..

I'm gonna try that this week..

-MORE!-

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Yes! Good for you. I have learned to compromise darling. If you cut the ED off completely it will backfire. So you treat it like a child ... you rationalize with it and eventually the urge decreases, sometimes even goes away.

[ambernc]

That is fantastic! I definitely share the same battles when I try to walk away from a binge. It even seems impossible at times. Thank you for the reminder that ED behaviour can be a choice. I'm so proud of you. And remember, you don't have to always be perfect or binge free. Just let yourself be encouraged by days like these.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Thank you so much for this comment. I struggle daily WITH actual addicting so any reductions are really good for me. Eventually I'd like to be abstinent. I feel far from this but every step like yesterday's counts

[MyOwnStickFigure]

you are all too kind but please know that it doesn't always go this way. i'm glad it did today. you've all inspired me to make a video stating the truth about how badly i actually do addict in a day, regardless of when i don't. i think it's time i step up and be honest about the flip side of things.

[qweengrape]

i wish i would have had an ounce of your stregnth today. Its tough when your disorders speak with such strong voices.

xxx-Ash

[MyOwnStickFigure]

listen close sweetie, you coming here and reaching out is strength in itself. i'm embracing you with love and care::: xoxo

[chanceoperations]

i'm so proud of you for saying no...i know how hard it is to pull away from such a thing, especially after you already had the salad in hand. that took a lot of strength *hugs*

[MyOwnStickFigure]

thank you so much. i kind of did circles around the salad bar "should i, shouldn't i" for awhile before i was able to just say no and leave it there - i left the area as fast as i could to avoid going back!

[gem61580]

Thanks for sharing..I can so relate to how difficult it is to pull yourself out of such a situation. I'm very happy for you that you had this success today. I hope you're still feeling good about because it takes strength. Keep pushing forward (one baby step at a time when you need to)...you are worth it, and deserve to be happy!

[MyOwnStickFigure]

what a world class comment! thank you so super much!!!