Trannystar Galactica 38: Purging and Loss

[lifeafterdawn]

Wish you were still with us. To only discover you in death has truly shaken me. If only the words you spoke so eloquently two years ago could have saved you! To all of Krista's true friends, and her trannystar family, I share in your grief. To those who turned your back on Krista, you will have to answer to God for what you did. And to her little girls, your mom may have told you many stories about your dad, but the most important thong I've learned is that SHE LOVED YOU!

[TrannystarGalactica]

We miss you Krista. *hugs*

[Animexkiller]

She got a point

[exzentriker420]

love your vid. cant wait to see what else you have to say.

[rivenrock]

Friends, family and job - that's a lot to lose. I'm glad you have found true friends. They make a huge difference. Looking forward to seeing your videos.

[trnsgrl08]

Carson, so nice to meet you as well :) I watched your video of making it out there to Cali reeeeaaallly early this morning. Congrats on making it out there. If things ever dont work out in Colorado then California is my next stop to try and break into the culinary world :)

[Tabygrl]

I remember transitioning. I started in July. I remember when the holidays came round. My old family, and my old friends were all surrounded by friends and family. I was alone. I was forgotten. They smiled and laughed. I cried myself to sleep. Oh how that first holiday season hurt... Yes, in the end, it was their loss though. Things eventually turned around. I have new family and new friends now. And they are better. Priceless by comparison. Hang in there girl, it gets better. Hugs

[twistedezri]

Dear Kristi, glad your here. I saw you strive to be positive in your life, career, ersatz family, and direction. You are brave, because your choices arent easy. You are living life on your terms. Thats brave. You hurt right under the surface, and this makes you struggle to believe yourself. Im sure a pole of viewers would agree 100% with your course. Besides, your beautiful, inside and out, so love will find you. JUST BE PICKY! Giggles! Sincerely, Ezri

[trnsgrl08]

Thank you soooooo much for the welcome, it's awesome to be in TSG with my Idols I watched and listened to when I started my transitions both times! It does hurt though and I would be lying if I said it didnt. Thats where my friends come in though and remind me of just how little I truly lost :)

[777Marlene]

hey, very nice to meet you Krista.....welcome to our strange planet !....im in 2nd transition too......going through my 2nd loss and purging too.....since we're loss and purge experts ,they ought to give us the national debt and we could lose that too !......texas rednecks, i was raised in texas, by texas rednecks, the kind that rubbed barbecue on their head and called it cologne....sweety you didnt fuck up and lose your family ..they truly fucked up and lost the best person in the tree/theylose

[trnsgrl08]

LoL... I wouldnt touch our debt with a freakin space needle! I gots enuf of that on my own ;) Aren't rednecks great? I try to take a very open minded approach to ANYONE but you know... that group of people just really know how to push my buttons! With all the REAL friends I have made lately I have come to realize that, your right, my family lost out, not me :) Did you have the problem of losing family also?

[1Vella]

Nice Video :)

Looking forward to seeing more :)

[trnsgrl08]

Thanks for the support :)

[JenniferMarie1969]

Sorry about your Family but you got the right Attitude that they are suffering a Loss.

[trnsgrl08]

The "first time" I transitioned I had a drastically different attitude but all that did was feed my depression it seemed. This time is still rough but its kind of like by trying to stay positive I almost seem to talk myself down from really depressed moments. If that makes any sense!

[ArWx]

so you'd say that 1st attempt that didn't work out did eventually help to reassess it for the next time? do you think you weren't ready in a way? or had false expectations? i think i'm somewhere like there, like a process i was starting got somehow stalled, or i backed out a bit so it's not rolling. so this kind of theme i realize sorta speaks to me too.

anyways, thankyou for sharing.

[trnsgrl08]

I wouldnt say that I personally wasnt ready, but that not EVERYONE was ready and we forced it upon ourselves anyways unfortunately. I was married and had two daughters with me and not everyone was as on board as they should have been. Oh sure we all faked it, hell even was on an episode of Dr. Phil about Trans issues talking about how much we loved each other an nothing changed. But, the truth of it was that everything had changed between us for the simple fact that we werent being true to

[trnsgrl08]

ourselves so it was kind of doomed from the start. After a year or so my ex decided she needed a husband not a wife, so I stopped transition cold turkey that very day. Needless to say though our marriage was beyond saving and we split anyways. So now fast forward a year and I am back on my feet financially, finished school and just said to myself one day, "self, fuck everyone else. You need to start living for you." So I started back on HRT and finally went FT again this past January.

[trnsgrl08]

Regardless though of how anyone else handle their transition or how many times things have to get put on hold, only YOU know when things should happen. No one else, not me, not Andrea James, not Christine Jorgenson (? sp), not some 5,000 dollar and hour therapist. Only YOU know how fast or slow you need to go, and if anyone ever tells you that you arent going fast enough through transition then you tell them right back to stick it up that 20,000 dollar hole they just bought themselves ;)

[trnsgrl08]

Sorry for the rant :) I just felt myself getting on a roll there for a minute! lol The point being though that it will come in time, not too soon or too late and not a single other trans persons timeline will ever be exactly like yours. Good luck with everything and I hope it all goes well :)

[cheechcaballero]

Thanks for all that history/ clarification. It certainly adds to the informative aspect, the autobiography.

[JenniferMarie1969]

I can relate to that my Attitude changed into a depressive Mode and I did not even realize it until Coworkers started asking me what is going on.

[Callabris]

It's ok it happens, think it's something with youtube. It's pretty frenquent on videos on this site,

Great vid look forward to see more :)

Welcome to TSG!

[trnsgrl08]

Sorry about the video and audio not syncing up right :( Still trying to figure out this software

[huh98]

great vid hon, and no worries about the syncing, have you seen my stuff on sundays half the times my stuff is like watching kung fu shows, you're stuff is alot better. *hugs* welcome to the crew. I'm real excited you're here :)