DD "The Silent Treatment" and Narcissists or Abusers

[charkee1]

I put up with the narcissist silent treatments for 22 years. 6 weeks silence, 3 days I'm human. 6 weeks silence again. She followed me around with a magnifying lens looking for any insignificant thing to attack me on. She painted me as a monster in her church and turned a whole community against me. None of her churchy friends have any idea of the hell she caused me and the kids.

[GrumpSkull]

It is a part of their dysfunctional communication. I know quite a few narcissists and they either have a pre prepared unatural spiel or they tell a story but leave all the details out to captivate or they even talk in incohesive noises like a muttering child all just to demand your attention. If you don't let them con you they give you the 'silent' treatment. All good because they are usually as dumb as a bag of hammers anyway.

[serenaup1]

You are so right. I'm going through the same experience as u did. He would never admit that he has these problems. NPD, BPD and CULT all in one person. So sad!!!

[ekkkm]

I do it I want them to leave me alone ignore me like I ignore them. I don't want to see them anymore when they pass me I don't want to see them

[blessin407]

my ex is just like this its a very good feeling to be free of him, not sure i would have been able to do if i had not been for my pregnacy scare, it scared me to think of the life our kids would have had and that was all the motivation i needed. we havent spoken for a week and im not hurting theway i use to infact i just feel proud and strong.

[6886Sassy]

this is interesting and a little scary. Sounds like my soon to be Ex-husband. Exactly what he did to me all the time when I said something that he did not like.

[MsColleenW]

@6886Sassy very similar feelings here, I am in a similar situation

[DayMare2000]

My mother did one of the things you had mentioned. 'They will call you out on everything you say, even if you don't remember' (or something to that effect); I went to take a nap after she had, previously, asked me to retrieve the mail, but she told me "never mind" because I informed her ahead of time what my intentions were. She then called me back, asking me again, and I said "You said never mind," her response being "Okay. Whatever." She then hung up on me. She hangs up on me often.

[Dassy0607]

Definitely answered questions and confirmed what i susptected already. Thank you. I've been dealing with this for years and thought it was me and something i was doing.

[MsColleenW]

@Dassy0607 no it is not you, I grew up with two narcissistic parents and I am married to a narcissist.

[WOJENSEN]

Love your videos! You describe things perfectly.

[khkala]

I don't think I am a Narcissist but giving the silent treatment is very much a learned thing from my childhood.

I have to say, giving the silent treatment hurts! I can do it but I start to miss that person. So for anyone out there who does this STOP you're missing out! The longer it goes on, the more strangled a relationship gets until there is nothing but strangers left.

[ekkkm]

@khkala I do it all the time and once I do it I don't see myself talking to this person again

[khkala]

@ekkkm I've done that myself. What do we get out of it? Is it really worth the price? Is to hurt them or to get distance?

[ekkkm]

@khkala why be bothered with nonsense

[ekkkm]

@khkala yes it is they are not worth my time

[rowing2shore]

Terrific explanation of this behavior. Never saw this part discuss. I have experience exactly what you describe. Expect to go on for years. Literally did exactly what you speak about.

[gmmrox76]

TROLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOL

[uncreativeranter]

She knows i know too much about her now so shes still playing the game of shutting me out & turning off her ph & says "oh i was just going to call u but not now that I said 'u are disrespectful' I'm not going too".. etc its funny that she has used that line over & over its always "was going too" but never did & even if she was labeled disrespectful then its up to her to prove she isn't so by playing game further shows she is being disrespectful. Can't npds see themselves giving themselves away?

[DelusionDispeller]

@uncreativeranter the truth is NOPE, narcissists cannot seem to objectively see much of anything regarding how they behave or what is really going on. As much as I am not pro-revenge on them,

it really does sort of give us, the victims, an upper hand in a way!

[MackTruck40]

if your the victim its the only way to stop the abuse.its not always a narcissist who are giving the silent treatment.narcissists hate the silent treatment.they would rather hear caos then quietness.

[MsMisfits]

It's a lot easier said then done. I want an explanation so I can at least have closure. I am definitely a victim of a narcassist(spelling?) but I can't believe it that he can just forget our whole long term relationship like that and move on to a different person...I know that's what happened but I just can't accept it. Me and my sister must be viewed as weak prey because we both have been/are in relationships like this. Wtf.

[ociana]

My ex didn't speak to me for three months at one time. Imagine the energy it took to do that!

[mikeyVIDjuncky]

I just want to thank you for caring enough to share with others this information. I am currently in a relationship with a narcissist. I have decided it would be best if i left the relationship. I was unaware for almost 2 years what was happening to me to the extent that I lost myself. Most importantly I unknowingly allowed my two teenagers to be chased away and almost lost my family. I have alot of healing to do! Sadly I have been living in a world that no one should ever have to visit!

[BieNumber1]

can you look at your titles and try to get them in order by labeling the narcissist and the co-dependency videos so I can see them in order.. Some of them are labeled buy others are not labeled.. Thank you so much! Look forward to seeing them in order....



[BieNumber1]

can you look at your titles and try to get them in order by labeling the narcissist and the co-dependency videos so I can see them in order.. Some of them are labeled buy others are not labeled.. Thank you so much! Look forward to seeing them in order..

[BieNumber1]

can you look at your titles and try to get them in order by labeling the narcissist and the co-dependency videos so I can see them in order.. Some of them are labeled buy others are not labeled.. Thank you so much!

[leeland0123]

hi i was wondering can narcissistic parent truly love their kids?

[ekkkm]

I cut off people and they don't get it. Its not silent treatment if i don't need them why should I deal with their drama.

[gabsylv]

@ekkkm You're a narc!

[sunsagleaming]

whenever my partner gets mad at me he wont tell me he just stops talking to me for weeks sometimes. he wont answer my calls or texts. it makes me feel like i am completely dead or something. great video. it is very weird and awful to be treated like this. it is punishing. i hate being ignored. thnks for your videos.

[SoaperGirl]

I enjoy your videos. You offer a lot of sound advice. My ex narcissist bf has now moved on to a new victim...ah woman, and I have no doubt she will get the same treatment when she slips off the pedestal he's put her on. A lot of my pain has now dulled to just an ache, but I definitely want to avoid this type in the future and hope to eventually find someone much more normal. Linda

[alliecollier43]

I love your videos! I am sprouting my wings as we speak!

[cabindreaming]

Thank you.... I think you just saved my life

[davidandalexismommy]

I'm dealing with a former friend who has been giving me the cold shoulder for 7 years. Recently, she joined 2 social groups that I belong to. I got a lot of dirty looks, while she chatted it up with every one else. I eventually left both groups for my own sanity, but made sure I told everyone why I was leaving. It really ticks me off that she won't go somewhere else and make her own friends. I've thought about maybe exposing her in front of every one if this happens again. What do you think?

[davidandalexismommy]

I'm dealing with a former friend who has been giving me the cold shoulder for 7 years. Recently, she joined 2 social groups that I belong to. I got a lot of dirty looks, while she chatted it up with every one else. I eventually left both groups for my own sanity, but made sure I told everyone why I was leaving. It really ticks me off that she won't go somewhere else and make her own friends. I've thought about maybe exposing her in front of every one if this happens again. What do you think?

[denisethepainter]

My narcissistic Mother did this silent treatment to me in the form of slamming the phone down while I was in the middle of providing undeniable evidence of a time when she was very rude and selfish. At that point in the conversation, i had just finished hitting a nerve with something she could not deny-so she slammed the phone down. I called back 15 min. later, She refused to pick up. I then decided it is time to SEVER the relationship for good-and did so. I now feel great. Has been 2 months

[smartification1]

some people really do have very serious issues that they need to sort out. sometimes being around others is not the best thing. If a person has dealt with abuse it can take some time to comprehend. when a person deals with a crime the common responses are denial, shock and anger not I want to hang out with my friends. I do like your videos. I think they are very informative.

[zimpon]

What do you do if your married to a narcissist and have had enough but have children, I have stayed to protect my child, but little by little my spouse is mentally killing me. What can i do?

[DelusionDispeller]

@zimpon

Well, although every situation is very different, for me, I waited till my children were old enough to not need me so much and I took my youngest (age 10) and left him. You have to do what is best for the overall situation and nobody knows that as well as you do. I know it's not easy to leave...I've done it and am still learning how to handle things pretty much on my own, but if staying is way worse than leaving, you will leave. It's just a point you get to and then you make a plan.

[5to4]

They will also attempt and probably suceed to some extent a slander campaign with people to gain sympathy and make you look crazy or bad.

[5to4]

@zimpon Im only just seeing this post, DelusionDispellers is right it is a point you get to and planning for the day is extremeley important, once you get away from them thier egos are dented,they cannot take someone leaving THEM, expect them to throw everything they can at you to try and disrupt your getting started on a new life, and its not because they want you back it the loss of control over you they cannot stand.

[5to4]

@zimpon I hope your away from them now.

[MsGroovalicious]

Thanks friend. I was raised by narc's and am recently becoming healed in the Lord, and am learning to have boundaries and discernment in dealing with NPD as well as DID and other emotional disorders. Thanks for your work I am blessed by them. 

[janityy]

But it is enuf info to prove is extreme emotional abuse. It says that silent treatment is emotional abuse in the DSM--IV. The Diagnostic Manual of mental disorders. So it says it. Basically communication is everything. These jerks are using silent treatment just like the church which is a cult used this method plus killing millions to try and silence tarot cards and pagans. Silencing anything is ABUSE

[yahssis]

That is not enough information to see if it is narcissism, but it definitely throws up some red flags.

[janityy]

Attracting these losers is usually a "play" a script in ur head u learned as a child I was raised by 2 abusers so I attract crazy. Read books walk path of Fool to the Sage in the Tarot , tarot cards is one way to be "up above it" not "down in it" good job nice videos articulate and REAL

[janityy]

Yeah I'm dealing with one of these abusive jerks right now .pyramid on dollar bill. The base is 85 % are the herd the non book reading sheeple followers who don't know our system is the matrix .space above base is 10 % are abusers .non book reading, beer drinking bar going abusive weirdos. All seeing eye represents illuminati and the Sage. U are the sage avoid the lost sheeple and abusive 10 percenters. Read books

[DropDeadCouture]

just wanted to say thanks so much. i'm being ignored by one of those right now haha. its been at least 4 months and i have not reacted at all, was wondering if i should have, but now i know i did the right thing. THANKS :) God bless

[ruby2411]

This is so helpful. I didn;t understand the silent treatment for months and it just clicked. I just realised tonight... listening to you along with others about narcissist. Pennies have all dropped.

[FREEAGENTSEE]

Hello. Thank you so much for this video.

[evictingfaith]

It is BEYOND weird when you are married to this personality and they do this passive aggressive crap. O AND HE HATED WHEN I FOUND HIM OUT. Never one explanation and you are totally there to serve ONLY their purpose. Ty for this vid.! :)

[love74ism]

MY SPOUSE WOULD WALK AWAY EVERY SINGLE TIME I NEEDED TO TALK TO ME WIHTOUT EVEN ASKING PERMISSION AS IF WHAT I WS SAYING WAS NOT IMPORTANT. IF I ASKED A QUESTION, HE NEVER HAD AN ANSWER AND IF INSSITED AND WOULD GET VERY VIOLENTLY ANGRY. HE WOULD SAY TO THE COUSNELOR THAT HE WOULD WALK A WAY B/C HE IS A "PEACE MAKER" AND SHE WOULD TELL HIM THAT AVOINDING CONVERSATION ACTUALLY WOULD WORSEN SITUATIONS

[MsDanny444]

thank you for your videos, LOVE U!!!

[whackemandstackem5]

I LOVED this video the most...this is the emotion that hurt me the worst in my relationship was the silent treatment and acting like i didn't exist..it sounds like you understand their frame of mind very well and it now makes sense on why he kept "nibbling" from time to time, and why..that NEVER crossed my mind..

This relationship was the most pain i've ever emotionally suffered and I am so glad i walked away, and u right..he certainly didn't care...

[seerymseery]

brilliant video, thank you for this.... you put this message and help out so well

[KrazyOyster]

I've been paying attention to your videos. You're made me fortunate to finally put my finger on an exisisting family problem. For better words, "the Golden child" of the family was played against the rest of us brothers and sisters. My mom died Dec 2010 in the care of the golden child and now Dad elected her Power of attorney. She isolated both her and dad from us with a nasty threatening letter. Now we're preditors and implies pending legal means to extricate us concluding - "May God help You"

[leeslove777]

Bless you and your too cute for you tube flutter-byes!!! I've been reading up alot on this condition, but there is something very healing in hearing it from you...I feel supported and understood- Thank You!!! omg.....it just hit me...she gave me the silent treatment on my wedding day...it was awefull, I was so torn up on the Happiest Day of my Life....they cant stand not to be the center of attention, even negative attention..

oh and all the Best on earning your degree...you will rock!

[leeslove777]

Bless you and your too cute for you tube flutter-byes!!! I've been reading up alot on this condition, but there is something very healing in hearing it from you...I feel supported and understood- Thank You!!!

oh and all the Best on earning your degree...you will rock!

[EmpOnelove]

Much respect for your work..and all that you do to uplift mankind..

blessed be , light and love to you ..

I want to ask you if i could promote your videos..on a higher awareness show that i m engineering....pls join me on facebook anyone who is open to a positive life

on facebook ..enter in peace pls add

Soraya HMD

THe Onelove Wisdom & Inspiration Revolution

Elevating Humanity - Universal NGO/Studio

light and blessings unto all..stay strong people..Narcisit..Nah.. No time for the parasite

[darealmzparker]

thank you so much for these videos i just got out of a relationship with a narcissists it was just behavior that i wud not tolerate & walked away from & yesterday i stumbled on these videos i guess God wanted to reveal to me what the person was dealing with & what i was going thru. It sucks becuz ths person was my friend first & i had to reveal to them the title of their condition, becuz he did have some awareness to the things he was doing. Again thanks & u did just help me alot....

[yahssis]

yes my one video actually has me doing the glare. not sure exactly which one but I am holding my granddaughter in it

[hopflo11]

curious about the "strange glare".

my (short) fling with a N , i got this twice...strange glare...both times after a percieved rejection from me. (when i let on that he was not that important).

do you have pics or examples or description of that "glare" that strange glare?? it's SO WEIRD, isnt' it?

also mine had low affect...little facial expression.

he didn't laugh often but when he did it was a short loud BWAH HAHA like , it was distrurbing lol.

[FawnTV]

this is EXACTLY what my last relationship was about. He fits everything you stated. Thank you! I now know I have not lost my mind :o) The best part about this, is I wrote a POWERFUL song a bout it called "SMALL"

:o)

[amjPeace]

You are so right about the futility of responding to the silent treatment with any kind of reasoning or attempting to change the behavior. It took me so long to figure this out so I hope anybody in a similar relationship wil really take your advice to heart for the sake of their own preservation.

[maidwithluv]

..I do it, because someone said something mean to me for no reason.

Thought this was normal, especially when dealing with a narcissist -_-

Are you sure?

[begood4000]

great video...also what the Narcissist will do when you're trying to talk to them regarding issues is they might read junk mail, surf the internet, pick the bottom of their shoes, turn on the TV, open up a book to read ... all of this in a major discussion about your relationship.. as you stated if someone does this to you get help as no one is meant for this treatment... very good video

[laurahopegill]

Excellent point re: don't react. Totally don't. Give nothing.

[crystalheart9]

My loved to do this to me when I was a kid. When I would ask her what was wrong she would hover over me and hatefully tell me I was crazy and belonged in a loony bin. I thank you for your video, It helps me realize I am not crazy after all.

[Aquamonkeyify]

Ooooooh!!! I love the butterfly on your cheek!! Great vid!!

[NicoleReneeBoisseau]

My husband does this to me and our children OFTEN.

[Aquamonkeyify]

@NicoleReneeBoisseau You need to get out of that relationship fast. My mom and I suffered this treatment from my stepfather. My mom, bless her heart, is made of iron so it didn't really faze her but I am still trying to deal with the lasting effects.You and your children deserve sooooo much better.

[MrLloydjr]

I love my wife but I cant go on being treated like this. I have decided to end the relationship after I confront her about how she treated me. She constantly interupts during a conversation and will use anything even make up things to hurt you emotionally. I see no other way,is there?

[buffedtrainer]

Very well done..thanks for sharing. You seem like a very sweet intelligent person. :-)

[PeaceLoveJoyWorld]

Great name - "Delusion Dispeller" and thank you for spreading the wisdom to not keep secrets. Beautifully put, "Don't let them win."

[tiffincat]

he told me later as he abandoned me, "i know i have closed my heart off from you for 3 years... but I don't feel like it has been a waste of time".

[tiffincat]

early on in my relationship to what i now know is a Narc, he would give me the silent treatment. We would not speak for 3 days, and the whole time i felt it was all my fault. Then all of a sudden it would break, and we'd get all "lovey" again. He didn't do such overt silence for several years, but I do recognize he was very withholding with malicious intent.

[Dreamcatch12]

I love all you movies!

[stigander]

isn't this kind of normal? well not 5 weeks with silence but like 10 minutes to 1 hour or something. I think maybe 50% of all my girlfriends have done some of this.

[DelusionDispeller]

no, it's not normal when it comes from a narcissist. it is a weapon when they use it.  It's a form of "you didn't give me my supply so now you will PAY!"

[stigander]

so what is the difference between a time out and the silent treatment?

[DelusionDispeller]

well, time out means eventually you will speak again, stig. With narcissists, silent treatment can go on for very a very long time, and when they come back to you, they act as though nothing ever even happened to cause the split. It is a very weird feeling to be on the receiving end and, unlike a time-out, is generally NOT agreed upon by both people

[DelusionDispeller]

Having gone through this myself from a past mentor, I have to agree with you, Neopetsfan.

I remember trying to figure out how to get her to talk to me. Being that I am kind of a psychological-type person, I tried reasoning with her, letting her know it was her "job" to mentor me, so when would she talk again. The only thing she said was "I dunno...maybe days, weeks...I just don't know." It ended up being 5 weeks in almost total no talking from her.