Jesus Is "Kinda Like" Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert

[MrDeaconJack]

Heresy takes many interesting shapes.

[IdaSputum]

@MrDeaconJack  your pomposity is Zzzzz... rife

[AfroGaz71]

How does this knobhead know what way jesus vocalised himself. I don't remember seeing lol at the end of any sentence in the bible.

[ironicjesus]

@AfroGaz71 you dont see the humor because the people who translated it into English had no sense of humor. If you look into into it, Aramaic and old Greek were aparently very "punny" languages. they used a lot of double meaning, wordspin, and word play.  I was surprised to learn this myself.

[tfortommyb]

There is no god you delusional fucks. Apply the same critical thinking standards you do to every day life to the bible and it falls apart.

[dmos62]

@tfortommyb sounds like your everyday "critical thinking standards" are crap. I'm not religious btw.

[Colloquium2011]

For the real Jesus watch Homeless Christ

[masteroftheobvious86]

Anyone think Driscoll in a tie looks...odd?

[l33fz]

shimmy shimmy shimmyy

[Isak5771]

The Bible, New Testament, Revelation 3:9

I will make those who are of the synagogue of Satan, who claim to be Jews though they are not, but are liars—I will make them come and fall down at your feet and acknowledge that I have loved you.

[nellisonking]

now I get why there is so many sets of christianity..

i have my point of view about what jesus ment when he said " AND YOU'LL FIND THE TRUTH AND THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.." I belive jesus said it in a sarcastic way meaning " the truth is that all of this shit is really just bull shit! i'm just focking with your heads!!!

nd dont tell me what im saying is not true cause I can asure you I had the holyspirit when this revelation came out..!

[nellisonking]

ok.. so jesus/god needs someone to tell the pleople what he is, what he feels, what he means whe he talks on the gospel nd how he said it nd... i mean everything!! jesus needs someone to figure out the bible nd then tell people about it..

[CR8VDO]

Really? Colber and stewart compared to jesus.  I'm truly seeing you as a false teacher. A nut case .

[aveyowyns]

@CR8VDO

Go away.

[zuluis007]

@CR8VDO would so agree with you

[hagios9]

isn't colbert a catholic?

[DOVECOTEPLOT]

Camel tail hair was / is used as thread , besides that = AMEN

[EPTechCompany]

@BBlueu2 You must really disapprove of tobyMac, Newsboys, Reliant K, and other contemporary Christian bands. I think that even though they're really out there, even Skillet, they've got such a passion and love for Jesus. From what I've read on this page alone you seem to know your stuff, and I can respect you in that. The good thing about churches is that they may have different themes, styles, and traditions. Coincidentally, the common backbone for many churches is Jesus, and He's all we need.

[BBlueu2]

@EPTechCompany Sorry, but you're making up your own definition of what the Church is, and not following Christ or His Apostles. Your Churches and christian rock bands are all modern western paganism with some talk of Jesus thrown in. You bear no resemblence to Christianity that has been the same ever since the day of Pentecost. If you look at Christianity over the many centuries, very little has changed (within Orthodoxy). You don't bring the world to the Church, you bring Christ to the world.

[EPTechCompany]

@BBlueu2 what do we need more? Jesus or Church? Obviously Jesus. I discussed for 3 1/2 hours this topic: In worshiping God, does style of worship matter? We came to the conclusion: no. If someone is put off by someone else's worship style, they need to examine their heart and whether said style glorifies God. You also seem to throw stones, saying I don't resemble Christianity; examine your heart. Is the way I worship sinful or is it a different style?

[BBlueu2]

@EPTechCompany Both Roman Catholics and Protestants always have to take two opposite extremes. Jesus or the Church? It's both, not one or the other. The scripture is so clear on this. Christ created the Church for an eternal purpose, you can't have Christ without the "Body of Christ". Who wrote the Bible and delivered revelation? God and His Church together. Unlike Satan, God shares power and responsibilties of the Kingdom with his children and faithful servants. The Church is his Bride.

[EPTechCompany]

@BBlueu2 We can't really have church without Christ, so indeed, I was correct. If you have church without Jesus, that my friend is heresy. Jesus is not dependent upon us; we are dependent upon Jesus. Jesus is all we need. If we follow the commandments but are absent of Jesus, we live a lie. If we truly follow Jesus, we are not absent of the commandments. Jesus is the common backbone. We are the body of Christ, but the mouth does not do exactly the same as the foot. They work together, not fight.

[BBlueu2]

@EPTechCompany Secondly, I'm not throwing stones, i'm trying to make you aware of the danger you're in. I know it can be offensive, I was in a similar mentality to all of you debating with me. Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. (1 John 2:15). For example, Protestant "style" of worship tries to integrate wordly things (e.g. rock music) together with Holy things. Problem is you're desecrating the Temple with the world.

[EPTechCompany]

@BBlueu2 We are in this world, not of it. Jesus tells us to love one another. I believe I will love you as I love my friends, though we have not met in person.

[BBlueu2]

@EPTechCompany Orthodox worship is the same on earth, as it will be in heaven. The Choir of the saints is eternal, and there is a heavenly form of music mentioned throughout the Bible. When you hear the Holy Psalms and Hymns, you are filled with the Spirit (I have many on my channel). Orthodoxy is spread across the entire world; America is one of it's last mission fields. Everywhere you go there are cutltural adaptations, but our worship is the same everywhere - our worship perfectly united.

[EPTechCompany]

@BBlueu2 I agree.

[EPTechCompany]

@BBlueu2 I decide to live my life by 3 principals: Love Jesus, follow Jesus, and lead others to Jesus. Love Jesus = have a relationship with Him. not just going to church, going through the motions. pray to, glorify, and worship Him. Follow Jesus = read His teachings. understand what He said and live as He would. Lead others to Jesus = lead by His example. love one another. tell the world about His love, grace, and mercy.

In other words, live your life by Jesus, not solely on a church mission.

[BBlueu2]

@EPTechCompany For over a thousand years there was only one Catholic Church. There were no such things as denominations. There were many heresies that arose, but the global Church, lead by the Holy Spirit, was united and met in councils to safeguard the faith. The things we are debating, have already been settled many centuries ago by our Church fathers. Look at the first 7 ecumenical church councils (i.e. Council of Nicea). Our faith is already established. Satan creates division to destroy us.

[thimolam]

@BBlueu2 I red through a lot of comments, but I'm just wondering, is according to the bible worship with instruments pagan? Then I would like to know if we read the same bible.Psalm 150:3,4: Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre, praise him with timbrel and dancing, praise him with the strings and pipe. And what about Psalm 33:3 Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy. were they only aloud back then to write new songs?

[BBlueu2]

@thimolam No, but there's a difference between heavenly music and worldly music. Rock & Rap music aren't going to be in heaven, period. You don't take a Satanic creation and bring it into the Church. "but be filled with the Holy Spirit, speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual canticles, singing and making melody in your hearts to the Lord: Giving thanks always for all things, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, to God and the Father" (Ephesians 5:18-20)

[BBlueu2]

@thimolam That doesn't mean there aren't cultural differences in the Orthodox music across the world. Ethiopians use vocals, drums and string instruments in their worship, and that's fine. Russians use vocals and Church bells - that's fine too. All Orthodox use Pslams and Hymns though. When you listen to the Orthodox music though, you can hear and feel a clear difference between Church music and the abominations of the west. Orthodox music is played on earth as it will be in Heaven.

[ukgirlonce]

@thimolam ....YES!!!!! ROCK AND RAP AND HEAVY METAL....there is are all kinds of music..to our Lord...which reaches and blesses all types and kinds of folk..like me..:)..born again Christian!!!

[BBlueu2]

@EPTechCompany Orthodoxy is ancient Israelite worship of Yahweh with the fullfillment of our Savior - Christ Jesus. Christ didn't come to destroy the law or the commandments of the Father. Just like the Bible, Orthodoxy is the perfect unison of Old Testament temple worship with the gospel of Christ. The Apostles continued to go to the temple to worship, teach, and have fellowship - this only stopped because of heretical Jewish oppression.

[SailorStarGracer]

I can actually picture Christ being dog-piled by little kids when they're brought to Him for blessing and prayer. I can imagine Him trying NOT to laugh when Peter goes for an unexpected swim. I can see Him with a sense of humor. In Genesis 1, God created us in His image and likeness. If we have the gift of humor, why does it seem a little off when picturing Jesus laughing?

[98nafets]

I love Driscoll, but I disagree with him here. I don't disagree that Jesus told jokes. But I don't think Jesus was trying to be funny with the "eye of a camel" line. Remember the reaction of those around him? They didn't think it was a joke. And Jesus even had to explain it afterwards about how nothing is impossible with God.

And do we really think Jesus would joke about people not being able to get into Heaven? I could see Him making light of the pharisees and their hypocrisy, but not this.

[JoelRA22]

Wooooo! Pastor Mark is wearing a tie! I'm shocked!

[BigG99]

laugh at your idols? I love mark but htis i dont agree with.. hes taking too much liberty from the text he is using... not very expository.. Jesus exiled the Jews over idolotry.. i agree there is a time to laugh but im not sure if over our idols it is time to do so. i rarley disagree with Mark but this time i do :(

[aeg623]

@BigG99 i was thinking about the same thing as well. I was kind of like "eeehh i don't think i agree..."

[BritneyAddicted4EVA]

I believe that Jesus was funny but I admit that camel joke scared me at first. Rich people should mind the way they are using their wealth and use it in the way that glorifies God. This sermon also made me think that I'm (compared to some people around the world) rich, so I'm definitely in a camel category.

God Bless, everyone!

[thidritoboladao]

Who's Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert? Im from brazil, that's why i don't know who they are :(

[jaredsshield]

@thidritoboladao They are political comedians.

[hardmod777]

@thidritoboladao - Be glad that you don't know...they are a waste of time..

[TNAguy2000]

"Someone has Died, This is anguish ..." LOL

[MasterOranda]

Think of it this way, We're all made in the image and likeness of God. We all laugh, be funny and tell jokes because we've gotten it from our creator who DOES have a sense of humor. So yeah, I can't wait to laugh and joke with Jesus in heaven lol

[trevor8930]

I thought this was a pretty good sermon, but this part was a little speculatory. but the rest was great. :)

[H0tkebab]

Jesus has a sense of humor and wit, thats awesome. =D

[SaintMichael82]

I have trouble believing that Jesus would be humorous about a situation like this, mainly because of Pharisees constantly watching him and analizing every word coming out of his mouth.. If a man came to him crying out "what should I do to inherit the kingdom of heaven?" I doubt that Jesus would dismiss him with a joke. Moreover it says the man walked away sad... I just have a hard time viewing this teaching like you mention. Opens the mind to other passages though, thanks for the hard work.

[BBlueu2]

"The eye of the needle" does indeed exist in Jerusalem. It is a narrow gate, and was the only gate people at night could enter through. In order for travellers to pass through it, they would have to unpack all the cargo and possessions on their camels in order to pass through.

Sadly Mark, you are a heretic and a false teacher. Thank God I discovered the one, true, and ancient Church of Christ on earth - The Orthodox Church - protector of the original Greek scriptures and Church tradition. 

[anonazero]

@BBlueu2 and you are a silly silly person that needs to lighten up.

[BBlueu2]

@anonazero Why am I a "silly" person that needs to "lighten" up? Maybe you need to take things more serious because your salvation is at stake and you're being lied to. People got offended by Jesus and His Apostles when they were confronted with the truth. Mark, like all other Protestant teachers, are lying to their congregations (knowingly or unknowingly). We're living in the most spiritually deceptive time in history right now. Do you want full truth, or some truth mixed in with lies?

[anonazero]

@BBlueu2 Jesus Christ drank the cup of God's wrath that was destined for my soul on account of all my treason against His throne and said "IT IS FINISHED".

i assure you that I take gospel of Jesus Christ very seriously (as should all men) but i cannot take myself seriously because i (unlike you) realize that i am a ridiculous human in desperate need of a savior.

i have the truth. i am a born again child of God ONLY because God died on a tree so that my sins could be paid in full, sir.

[BBlueu2]

@anonazero I agree with you, we all are in desperate need of a savior. I don't see how i'm taking myself so "seriously" as you claim, i'm not pointing anyone towards me, i'm trying to point you to Christ's own Church. You're view of salvation is is proven wrong by Christ own words, and if you claim to care for him so much, then consider what he says plainly.....

[BBlueu2]

@anonazero Except you eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, you shall not have life in you. He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath everlasting life: and I will raise him up in the last day. For my flesh is meat indeed: and my blood is drink indeed. He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, abideth in me, and I in him. As the living Father hath sent me, and I live by the Father; so he that eateth me, the same also shall live by me. (John 6:56-58)

[anonazero]

@BBlueu2 he was saying that to jews for the purpose of offending them with symbolism that they did not understand using things that they would find insulting.

he didn't mean that literally. i hope you know that.

[BBlueu2]

@anonazero He absolutely means it literally, and you're taking something he said quite literally and bluntly and trying to use your logic to make sens eof something beyond our understanding. I hope you know that.

[anonazero]

@BBlueu2 so Jesus wants us to be cannibals and eat human flesh and drink blood? sorry bro, that aint biblical.

[BBlueu2]

@anonazero Look at the early Christians and their persecutions. The Jews and Romans both hated and despised Christians, they called them cannibals and insane. You too are relying on your own man made logic to make sense of something beyond your comprehension. Christ sustains us through the Eucharist like a Mother does for her children through nursing. The Bible says all this, you have to open your hear to Christ, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal this to you with an open heart!

[BBlueu2]

@BBlueu2 As newborn babes, desire the rational milk without guile, that thereby you may grow unto salvation: If so be you have tasted that the Lord is sweet. (1 Peter 2:2-3).

[BBlueu2]

@anonazero Not every one that saith to me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven: but he that DOTH THE WILL of my Father who is in heaven, he shall enter into the kingdom of heaven. Many will say to me in that day: Lord, Lord, have not we prophesied in thy name, and cast out devils in thy name, and done many miracles in thy name? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, you that work iniquity. (Matthew 7: 22) Faith alone is a lie....

[anonazero]

@BBlueu2 if faith alone is a lie then you're calling Jesus a liar for telling the thief on the cross that he would be with Him that day in paradise.

be careful lest your words point crooked fingers at Christ just as the pharisees did...

[BBlueu2]

@anonazero The other, however, rebuking him, said in reply, "Have you no fear of God, for you are subject to the same condemnation? And indeed, we have been condemned justly, for the sentence we received corresponds to our crimes, but this man has done nothing criminal." (Luke 23:40-41)

The thief makes a public ACT of faith and defends our Lord before his death. He makes his confession before our Lord and the people. This is also considered to be Baptism by blood.

[anonazero]

@BBlueu2 "The thief makes a public ACT of faith and defends our Lord before his death. He makes his confession before our Lord and the people. This is also considered to be Baptism by blood. "

which is what every born again christian in history has always done.

[BBlueu2]

@anonazero Oh really? So you and " every born again christian" have hung on cross, bearing excruciating pain physically, mentally, and spiritually - yet still proclaimed your faith in Christ and even defended him against his enemies - even when most of his followers were no where to be found? Sorry, but there's NO ONE in history that ever did those exact things as did by the thief on the Cross. Think and pray about this much more seriously before you compare yourself to the Saints.

[anonazero]

@BBlueu2 so God made an exception for the thief on the cross?

[BBlueu2]

@anonazero Lord, when did we see thee hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister to thee? Then he shall answer them, saying: Amen I say to you, as long as you did it not to one of these least, neither did you do it to me. And these shall go into everlasting punishment: but the just, into life everlasting. (Matthew 25:41- 46) Jesus just debunked the heretical view of salvation.

[AndrewBainn]

@BBlueu2 Protector of Church tradition? Read your protected greek scriptures and see how much Jesus talks down about traditions and rituals. Your church is not the way to eternal life so go do a Galatians 5:11-12 as a ritual, and that is a joke btw.

[BBlueu2]

@AndrewBainn There's a diference between good an bad tradition; the Bible is full of Godly traditions. Jesus himself instituted traditions such as Baptism and the Eucharist (aka the Lord's Supper), which were meant to be done throughout the ages. The Holy Spirit is the preserver and leader of His one Catholic Church (Orthodoxy). He wrote the Bible through his Church, and continues to save people through His Christ is THE source of all salvation, and The Church is the vessel of salvation.

[AndrewBainn]

@BBlueu2 You didn't get the joke, go enjoy "The Church" but it isn't The Biblical Church anymore.

[BBlueu2]

@AndrewBainn Yet many heretic teachers have lead millions astray and turned them from Christ. They've taught you to deny the full body of scripture; they teach you to deny the body and blood of Christ, given to all for our salvation; they want you to deny the authority of the one holy and apostollic Church created by Christ himself.

[AndrewBainn]

@BBlueu2 Your all about your Church and not about Christ, yuck.

[BBlueu2]

@AndrewBainn I'm actually all about Yahweh, who is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Secondly Christ's own Church is called the "Body of Christ" for a purpose. The Church is the vessel of God's Holy Spirit. And whosoever shall speak a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but he that shall speak against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, nor in the world to come. (Matthew 12:32)

[AndrewBainn]

@BBlueu2 Yeah, yeah so your saying I am going to hell? Sure.. you didn't get my joke now you are being to serious taking things way out of context adding new definitions, it's cute and religious, and I don't have time for it. Peace.

[H0tkebab]

@BBlueu2

Who knows, Jesus could of also been referring to a standard needle when he said it. Chances are that the gate is named after it. So the reference is still the same. The point is that the reference was a witty comment on Jesus's behalf, that many of us over analyze and debate over when we don't have to. The way how he said it can be looked at figuratively as well as literally (for the people living in the region of the time).

I believe Jesus had a sense of wit and humor to him.

[BBlueu2]

@H0tkebab "Who knows"? Aren't you tired of modern teachers giving you information from their own perspective? Do you really think Christ just threw the Apostles to the wolves with no direction or structure? The Church could never have survived if it didn't have solid Godly tradition, Scripture, and Apostollic succession to preserve it. So "who knows"? The one and true Church of of Christ knows because it's had the same teaching and belief since it's foundation. Stop being lied to, investigate...

[anonazero]

@BBlueu2 i think its really fitting that you don't understand the simple truths here just like the pharisees didn't. you know, the guys that murdered Him? yeah, they took themselves very seriously too.

be careful where you point stuff you might trip and end up with it somewhere you dont like.

[BBlueu2]

@anonazero Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no schisms among you; but that you be perfect in the same mind, and in the same judgment.(1 Corinthians 1:10)

Protestantism is divided into thousands of denominations, with thousands of different teachings and opposing views on the scripture and what it means to be Christian. The Catholic Church is united in one. There is only ONE God, ONE faith, one baptism!

[H0tkebab]

@BBlueu2

Yes, I am learning. I've begun by ordering many books on Amazon on the subject. =)

So I'm interested to find out much of this for myself. The last thing I want to be is an ignorant Christian. I have learnt you can't go by the word of one person alone. Mark is human, humans make errors, even teachers unfortunately, but God doesn't make mistakes. So, I'm going to start with reading the Greek and Hebrew scriptures so I can compare and learn from them.

[BBlueu2]

@H0tkebab I used to be a follower of Mark Driscoll, so I completely understand how you might feel and others here. But you have to dig deeper, the Devil mixes truth with lies to make it nearly impossible to find the truth. Which is why we have to continually pray and meditate on the Lord's prayer (Your Kingdom come, Your will be done), otherwise demonic and human deception will lead us astray. When Christ tells us to take up our cross and follow him, we must choose to suffer and toil for truth.

[BBlueu2]

@H0tkebab You'll notice that Mark, and most Protestant teachers, always refer back to the reformers and post-reformation teachers. Why? Because those are the only men they draw their heretically inspired teachings from. For example, why reference Charles Spurgeon when you can go back way earlier and learn from the teachings of St.Ignatius of Antioch or St.Clement of Rome. Both Ignatius and Clement were direct successors of St.Paul and St.Peter and were their direct disciples.

[BBlueu2]

@H0tkebab St.Ignatius (mentioned in Bible) even knew our Lord Jesus Christ! Forget Charles Surgeon, Martin Luther, John Calvin and all these other heretics. Go to the very closest and pure sources. There's an incredible amount of writings available from the Saints all within the first few centuries of the Church. When you read their writings with the Bible, you will see a clear picture that Protestantism is completely foreign to ancient Christinity and Catholicism is still the original Church.

[BBlueu2]

@H0tkebab Also realize that in Catholicism Christians learn through submission and humbleness. You can't rely on your own understanding to learn the Bible. If you turn yourself over to the authority of the Church, you will flourish in knowlege. Yes, the Holy Spirit can teach you directly, but the Holy Spirit also teaches by designated teachers He appoints within the Church - the Bible itself testifies to this. Nowadays there's too many teachers, and most of them are unauthorized to do so.

[MattinatorHax]

@BBlueu2 There's no verifiable record of the eye of the needle existing. It was an 18th century hypothesis, which has somehow, without proof, become "fact".

[BBlueu2]

@MattinatorHax Therefore, brethren, stand fast; and hold the traditions which you have learned, whether by word, or by our epistle. (2 Thessalonians 2:15) Much of our teaching comes from Oral tradition, which has also been preserved by the Holy Spirit, just as the scripture. Yet Protestant teachers ignore so much of the Bible to make their man-made traditions fit with their own selfish beliefs. This is the kind of tradtion that Jesus warned against, not the traditions of God and His Apostles.

[BBlueu2]

@MattinatorHax Even though there are gates in Damascus and Jersusalem which fit the description of the "Eye of the Needle", since when did Christianity need secular sources to to prove it's legitimacy? There's a great many things that took place in in Biblical times, yet aren't recorded in the Bible indepth. Yet many of these things we know through the oral tradition of the Church. Problem is, Protestants have no ancient roots or Apostollic succession so you have nothing to draw from.

[MattinatorHax]

@BBlueu2 Except in this case you actually have church theologian speculation from many centuries after the apostolic times. There's no record of the eye of the needle being a gate in Jerusalem until after the 5th century, and it first appears as speculation, not teaching.

Also, Jesus referring to a camel makes historical sense, given that the Jewish Talmud makes reference to an elephant going through the eye of the needle as an expression for a similarly improbable/impossible act.

[BBlueu2]

@MattinatorHax Who would know what Christ meant by these teachings? The Apostles. Teaching doesn't come from the Bible alone. The Saints that wrote the Bible taught primarily through oral teachings; the Bible wasn't around for hundreds of years after Christ. These oral teachings have been passed down over the centuries and have been preserved, just as the Scripture is, and the Orthodox now hold these teachings as oral tradition. Without the Church you cannot truly know the Bible.

[BBlueu2]

@MattinatorHax Your arguement also sounds just like the secularists and athiests. Many things in the Old and New Testament have no historical evidence (yet). So does this mean we're supposed to scrap much of the Bible until an archaelogist finds some secular source to support Biblical claims? There's countless events unrecorded throughout history, but that doesn't mean they never existed. The Bible even says that there were many things that happened in Christ's life but never were recorded.

[BBlueu2]

@MattinatorHax For instance, as the Roman Empire and Islam spread throughout the world they destroyed countless sources of knowlege and evidences that supported Biblical claims. The Library of Alexandria held priceless volumes of history, science, mathematics, theology etc. We're in an ageless war against the evil one, and he's trying to divide, discredit, and destroy the Church. Thanks be to God, Oral Tradition can never be burned or destroyed because it lives in the hearts of the Saints.

[Blitzingtakin]

Colbert teaches Sunday school... still

[fredrockt47]

Speculating again as usual.

[Cleopas82]

Comedy, I think Jesus was hilarious!