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From: TheLutheranSatire
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  • @Kasine4412 Sorry realized I did not answer your other question either.

    "Who..OT...woman?"

    Sarah, the mother of promise..Galatians 3-4 speaks about this in great detail.

    She represents the New Jerusalem and her children, the mother of us all. See Isaiah 54 for God describing this how he will make the New Jerusalem(on EARTH) larger to fit the Gentiles.

    Answer my questions also, was not Abraham told to walk the land of promise? Did God lie to him saying that would be his?

  • I have several good friends who attend Calvary Chapel churches, and none of them are hard-headed or judgmental on their belief in the rapture. In my experience, CC'ers who are that strict about it have a lot of personal issues they don't want to deal with, and attacking amillennialsts like me is how they suppress their own sins of pride and arrogance... to their own detriment.

  • This video is a scream. I'm trying not to ROTFL in the middle of a quiet university library. :D I am a Missouri Synod Lutheran and one-time Calvary Chapel member who gave up on pre-trib millennialism after the Y2K debacle prompted me to read the Old Testament prophets for myself. How one views eschatology is IMO a secondary issue not crucial to our salvation. Militants on both sides have been as hard-headed as in this satire, except they are deadly serious. Sad.

  • @richartrod

    I think it's a secondary issue also... but it is crucial to salvation if one's deceived. Most Christians do not even know "where" they're going when they die or what will occur when the resurrection happens. This alone, leads to many false teachings that could be easily understood if one would dedicate some time to studying the OT/promises and prophets. Many dismiss it, and then show no understanding of the NT. It's crucial because many won't be saved not knowing Revelation.

  • @Kasine4412

    No it's false because you're not discerning the order of the book friend... I gave you the verses, look at them. Rev 1:19 shows the order of the book. Most of the apostles aren't mentioned in the book of Acts after the first chapters--does that mean they disappeared? No, see your logic fails. The church is being gathered at His coming at the END to descend with Him on Mt. Olives... this is OT prophecy, Zech 14:4... to reign, where? on EARTH. I'm not LDS or SDA, just biblical.

  • @Kasine4412

    1 Cor 15:51-58 is the rapture yes, but it's not pre-trib. Are you blind? Read the verse, Paul says "at the last trumpet"... the 7th trumpet! Christ's return... which occurs when?

    Matthew 24:29-31 ..."Immediately AFTER the tribulation of those days... trumpet...gathering"---lines up exactly with 2 Thess 2, showing that the anti-Christ will reveal himself at the 3 1/2 years and kill the 2 witnesses. So Christ definitely comes AFTER that. I have no idea what you're reading.

  • I love how this is edifying to the church and represents the Dispensational views accurately. SARCASM

  • @Kasine4412

    "Explain 1Thess5:9?"

    Thanks for asking, do you see anywhere in that Scripture that you're being caught up to heaven? No, so reading into it, yes you are. It just says you're not to be hurt, ever read Rev 7? Compare it with Ezek 8 and 9... servants were marked to be protected, but were they carried away from earth to be protected? No, they were in the midst of the judgment.

    What does 2 Thes 2:7 have to do with proving your theory? Verse 8 shows you incorrect. That's the coming!(day)

  • @Kasine4412

    'Rev 12... Its Israel" No it's not only Israel, do you read the entire chapter.. or the prophets? It clearly says the rest of her remnant was protected(the WOMAN) in verse 12:14. Cities aren't "flying away."

    This chapter 3 church not mentioned ideal is false and inconsistent, do you not discern how the book's written... see Rev 1:19, this is the order of the book--so chapters 1-3 are current events! Then see Rev 4:1.."hereafter"--FUTURE portion of the book from then on.

  • @Kasine4412 Matt 5:5 shows we will inherit the earth(land). Isaiah 65-66 and Rev 21 couldn't be more clear... Christ is reigning on earth. The city comes from above(meaning made by God) Ezekiel saw the same vision as John. And rev 12 shows the woman fleeing(cities don't flee)... It represents the saints also.

  • @Kasine4412

    The church is mentioned in Revelation 12. The "woman" represents the saints/New Jerusalem/Mother of us all(Sarah).

    The idea of you being caught up to heaven to be with God is a farce, we will be gathered with Christ in the AIR and descend with Him on the Mt. Olive. We will reign on earth with Him... the Kingdom comes from God, not built by man. Rev 21, Matt 5:5, Isaiah 65? This list could go on... God is coming to US... to dwell with us on this earth with curse removed.

  • Revelation 16:12,15: And the sixth angel poured out his vial (the sixth plague) upon the seat of the beast; and they gnawed their tongues for pain. . . Behold I come as a thief. Blessed is he that watches and keeps his garments, lest he walk naked and they see his shame."

    Why would Jesus be coming "as a thief" AFTER six plagues are already poured out, if He had already come "as a thief" BEFORE they were poured out?

  • @Kasine4412 Listen to the video again for the fact and scriptures showing that Jesus has ONE return and it comes with a shout. Also, the church did NOT have any such rapture doctrine until the 19th century. It was a personal dream/vision by Margaret McDonald who told John Darby of the Plymouth Movement who later gave it to Scofield. Hebrews tells us we no longer go by personal dreams and visions, rather by the Son, who is the Word.

  • @Kasine4412 Jews deny the Messiah so I doubt they will be spreading a gospel they do not believe in.

  • Very goog brother. Excellent. Had me laughing good. I am a Calvinist and just enjoyed the pleasure of baptizing our 4 week old. We reformed types have the best avenue to evangelize the Romanists from their apostasy.

  • The non-dispensationalist broke the 9th commandment.

  • @Kasine4412 If all the Christians are raptured, who is spreading the gospel to the unsaved so that there is a great multitude as spoken of in Rev 7:13-14? This multitude are Christians who have come out of the Great Tribulation, not just new post rapture believers. Just like Noah went through the flood but was kept safe through it, I believe God will do that for the elect.

  • @Kasine4412 We are not in great tribulation every day. The rain and the sun fall on the just and unjust. We are just experiencing life like everyone else. He returns with a great cloud of witnesses, those saints who have gone in death before others from the OT, NT, and today. The Great Tribulation must be shortened for the sake of the elect, no rapture for the saints.

    Revelation is not a chronological book.

  • @Kasine4412 Well, the elect are the saints and they will be here during the tribulation according to Mt. 24. 1 Thess 4 is also talking about the end. He descends with a 'shout' and 'trumpet' again, no secret rapture here.

  • @Kasine4412 I,m no Bible scholar, but I know God controls EVERYTHING, so I'll say the one who letteth is God. In Corinthians, I think Paul is talking about the end.The Bible only speaks of a second coming, no mention of a secret one in between. It is preceded by the sound of the 'last' trumpet, not exactly the stealth operation spoken of by rapturists. Mt 24: 21-31 speaks of the elect being in the tribulation, then being gathered when it is over. His return is visible like lightning

  • "During the days of Noah it was the wicked who were taken and the righteous who were left behind"? That is an odd way of looking at it. Taken on a boat... left behind on the earth during floods. Interesting debate... not really.

  • I laughed chunks of a cookie out of my nose... best vid ever

  • Still one of the funniest videos on YouTube.

  • As a Pentecostal I found this hilarious! A great way to lighten an often difficult discussion. It does what most one-sided arguments do, as it sets up a straw man who improperly voices the arguments from the other side, making him ripe for criticism. I'll still rejoice when I see you rising with me to meet Him in the air on that day. Thanks so much for the laugh! :) Blessings, and may we all be willing to adjust our doctrines when the Perfect comes!

  • This is perhaps the greatest thing I've seen since the Great Tribulation of 70AD.

  • In satire, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with intent of shaming into improvement. Satire is usually meant as funny, often constructive criticism, using wit as a weapon. Satire is strong irony or sarcasm—is militant-- parody, burlesque, exaggeration, juxtaposition, comparison, analogy, and double entendre are frequent. This sarcasm often professes to approve (or at least accept as natural) the very things the satirist wishes to attack. True in these videos?

  • The simple truth of the matter is, at the Second Coming, the saints will be caught up into the air to meet the Lord in the clouds, but not "zapped" into thin air, lol. More like lifted up into the sky like Jesus was at His ascension--they could actually see Him go up. But scriptures are clear that while all the saints are taken to heaven for 1000 years, the earth will be laid waste and desolate. For 1000 years it will lie waste with Satan and his demonic hosts trapped on it--the "abussos".

  • Why are your pants wet?

  • Darby wasn't the "father" of anything. Google "The Unoriginal John Darby." Also Google "Pretrib Rapture Dishonesty" and "Pretrib Rapture Secrets."

  • take that catholics

  • @vibid3 I don't understand what you're saying. This video is aimed at fundamentalists. I am Roman Catholic and find it hilarious! God Bless!

  • @assasincomedy it's just all the people i know who believe in the rapture are catholic so to me the two were synonymous... until now that is

  • @vibid3 They either A) Aren't Catholic or B) Are ignorant of the faith. 'The Rapture' is a protestant invention.

  • @assasincomedy they're probably just ignorant

  • Flappy- Watch Paul's Baptism Oopsie from TheLutheranSatire. That's another that challenged me when I became Lutheran. Now I believe differently. Also, the Greatest Conspiracy Ever is hilarious too.

  • Flappy and Sapphon- In Matthew 24 Jesus tells believers to stand firm until the end. He also says that the trying days of the end will be cut short for the sake of the elect, otherwise no one would survive. No hint of escaping. Also in Acts 1, after the ascension of Christ, the disciples are told he will be seen returning just as he left which goes along with a visible, not to mention loud, return in the clouds. No stealth return. Good to study what the early church believed.

  • @thewordrules

    thanks for your replies.... I grew up being thought rapture in Pentecostal environment, but have been going to a Baptist church (which stays away from that teaching) for over the last ten years.

    I'm not worried either way...being a "pan-millennialist" too (lol) but...

    ...then again I wouldn't think ppl disappearing in thin air is very secret either.

  • @thewordrules Yeah I do actually agree with you - I was just trying to be ironic. Which I clearly suck at!

  • I'm a pan-millennialist. Whatever pans out is fine with me.

  • @willyr9 Amen to that...

  • My Pastor showed this in Bible Study today! We just about died laughing. :)

  • FlappyDogman Noah stayed on the earth during and after the flood, he was not taken from the earth, he was left on it. The wicked were taken away. You can't say the wicked were left. The Bible does not speak of a third coming of Jesus with a secret second before. There will be a great falling away and the son of perdition will be revealed. His return is preceded with great shouts and trumpets; not too secret. Not enough room to say all there is.

  • @thewordrules Though technically you could be really pedantic and argue that the wicked were actually left behind as well, only they were all drowned and thoroughly dead (I might be wrong about that, as the Bible never mentions the post-flood corpse clean up). Maybe that's what the *true* Rapture is? A moment when everyone drops down dead for no apparent reason except for whack-a-doodle Reformation hopping Protestants?

    Yeah I don't think so either. It was worth a shot though.

  • Comment removed

  • "This is not good."

  • is it just me, or does it look like Lutheran Satire deliberately made the premil guy look like Kirk Cameron?

  • I am a dispensational premillennialist, but I found this pretty funny, especially when the Lutheran says to the Baptist, "Why are your pants wet". XD

    BTW, a lot of my dispensationalist/premillennia­list friends don't believe in Family Radio's ability to predict May 21st as the end.

  • I love the line, "I chose the option that doesn't call my Lord a moron."

  • @stitch99 That's my favorite line too.

  • darn, now the best kept Lutheran secret of teleportation has been exposed.

  • It sounded like "The drum-kit of God". I think it supposed to be trumpet.

  • Amillenialism FTW!

  • OKAY so I may be Roman Catholic, but this pretty much sums up our beliefs as well, as SO many of your videos do!!! Keep it going, brother. I laughed until my...pants were wet. OOPS lol.

  • OKAY so I may be Roman Catholic, but this pretty much sums up our beliefs as well, as SO many of your videos do!!! Keep it going, brother. I laughed until my...pants were wet. OOPS lol.

  • oh. my. gosh. I literally almost died laughing. the only reason I was able to stop is because my 1 year son was about to start crying - he had NO IDEA what I was doing!

  • That was awesome!

  • Priceless!  LOL

  • Nest time take on modulism.

  • I remember my grandfather, born in 1900, talking about never hearing anything about a rapture until he was about 40. Prior to that, it was not taught. When the Assembly of God denomination realized that the Noah story didn't fit the idea of rapture, they quit using the "one will be taken the other left approach'" in evangelism. I never did believe in the rapture..

  • @thewordrules

    How exactly doesnt the Noah story fit the idea of rapture?

  • @FlappyDogman

    He explains it in the video. One will be taken, the other left. In Noah's day it was the wicked who were wiped out, Noah and his family were kept safe in the Ark of God. Noah and his family were not removed from the earth, the wicked were. Matthew 24 pretty much rules out the idea of rapture. We will be here and God will keep us as he wishes during the tribulation.

  • @thewordrules

    OR one can say that Noah's family was taken away be safe away from the destruction.. (as I beliieve rapture teaches) and brought back to the 'cleaned up' earth afterwards... like when the 'kingdom of God' rules the earth?

    So I don't see how Noah's story stumps rapture.

  • @FlappyDogman you could even make the argument that he was taken up into the air to meet the Lord because the flood had risen above the height of the highest mountains

  • At first I thought they were just talking about that popular superhero fiction tale, but when I heard them mention X-men, I knew they were including some reality.

  • Laughing!!!!!!!!

    

  • I'm begging you to incorporate all this material into a new member curriculum.

  • I don't get it. So do have mutant powers or not?

  • @damildlyshreddah All Lutherans have Mutant powers. We're just bound by our confessions not to use them.

  • @RadicalGraceRadio Awesome!

  • why does the Lutheran Pastor lie that he is done teleporting, and then continue... tsk tsk.

  • thanks for the laugh

  • Humorous that the Lutheran uses church tradition as a source of authority. Just can't let go of those Roman roots, eh? =D

  • @jdswiney Church Tradition? More like Divinely inspired Reason. Which is why it's still right, even 2000 years later ; )

    (am teasing, btw)

  • @jdswiney Actually no we just use Scripture - but it is quite proper to say "the church for 1900 years..." if in fact they believed in what Scripture teaches. Church tradition doesn't have to be ancient, you know; something believed and taught for 100 years or less can also be "church tradition", like Dispensationalism for example, and it is NOT scriptural in the least

  • @vicardaniel It's a joke... You might even call it... Satire.

  • 2:02 lol

  • LOL! Why are your pants wet? BWAH HAHA!

  • Is that guy supposed to look like Kirk Cameron? Because he totally does.

  • There is a slight error in the timing of when the rapture doctrine came to be. It was created by John Nelson Darby in 1827. I like your video but you are about 100 years off in your timing.

  • @neacej1 Well, the date I was using was the publication of the Scofield Reference Bible, when the teaching really started to gain traction in the early 1900's...

  • @TheLutheranSatire Oh, ok. Darby was before his time in the sense of popularity, but if it is new, it probably isn't true.

  • @TheLutheranSatire Scofield popularized Darby's writings. Good video, though!

  • :)

  • Best one yet!

  • This was very enjoyable. Not Lutheran but I would tend to agree with this position.

  • This was the funniest of them all Thank you

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