Added: 7 months ago
From: TheFatAussieBarstard
Views: 154,825
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  • I stopped watching after 1:07 . After 1:07 I could tell that he was going to talk us to death and never get to the damn point or if he ever did eventually get to the damn point that it would not make up for all the talking he did before he actually got to the fucking point .

  • Your Fucking Annoying Get To The Point You Damn Red Neck !!!!!

  • fuck you and get some fucking aids dude i am getting sick of dumb ass fuck nigger cunt licking butts that have motherfucking buttcancer and poop eating brains that like to be raped. so after i said this you are wondering why i am saying this is becuz i cant get thumbs up!!!!

  • gang

  • FUCK YOU MOTHER

  • Fake Laugh much?

  • shut up and get to the point.

  • next time film you pranks,i wich i saw her reaction

  • Shut up already geez

  • how did i get from ankle breaks to this?!?!

  • didnt know people could have a nut sack on their lip

  • I would have went for "She slode out the door" but I hate english anyway, so that's nothing new

  • This guy is awesome ^^ my kinda sense of humour XD

  • i hope this guy dies

  • Dat stache

  • screw all the haters!!!! good job keep up the good work!!

  • Dude you are a man after my own heart i worked id a burn unit for 26 years and i have a SHIT LOAD OF STORYS

  • why would i push subscribe?

  • Jesus Christ!What a crap,american away.

  • Ass

  • i like u cuz ur cool and funny.....and ur accent :)

  • @lunaticasai LOL!!!!!

  • Petifile

  • Visit the brain dept, and see if they have a spare geranium they can transplant from.

  • uglyest think ever here 

  • TROLL !

  • E S T U P I D O ! !

  • Good Sir, I think you have a hairy-legged naked cowboy upon your upper lip!

  • The best part is when it's over

  • the best part is at 00:00 :)

  • lemmy without hair !!

  • your neighbors must think your crazy

  • My sister and I used to prank each other all the time. Her fav prank was, she would open the bathroom door and take my picture while I was using the toilet. One time I came home to my sister using the toilet. So I threw open the door and screamed, Boogidy, boogidy, Boo! It worked but not as good on her as it did my father! He jumped a foot off the john. Asked me if I was done to please shut the door. I wanted to die of shame. Couldn't look at him again for days.My Sis laughed at me for years

  • @TheTinywhitedove  That's funny

  • fucking awsome dude, best stash ever, i would like to buy this man a beer

  • I was banging 7 gram rocks that's how I roll WINING, i have 1 gear.. GO epic winning, win there win here win win every were.

  • I hid in the ice box of the restaurant at this sportsman lodge where I once worked (it was prebagged ice, I wasn't siting in loose ice that was going to be served to the customers) and waited for the cook to perform her ritual of grabbing two bags for the bar. I sat on the side of the icebox that was padlocked and so when she reached into the box I grabbed her arm and started pulling. Her scream resulted in the law being called and she nearly beat me to death as I tried to get out.

  • I liked your vid just because of your accent...

  • the word is slid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Borrringgggg.Zzzzzzzzz. WTF

  • jerk...

  • NOOOO Nbaballer550 deleted his comment all that looking for nothin. :/

  • this so stupid he didnt even show wit the lady gettin up

  • if she slipped on her own piss and broke her leg she was already at a hospital anyways so she didn't have to go far!

  • he looks like he should live in alabama...

  • GET TO THE FUCKING POINT ALREADY!

  • can i make a remix of your snot garggle it was ausm ill put some dubstep in with the snots u funny fuck

  • What is Santa claws doin in the united states widely in the mornin

  • This are her last words: "Please listen to me, please help me. Ladies and Gentlemen, listen to me. San Paolo Bank has hidden my bank accounts, all my money has disappeared. In September I have tried to suicide and I am still alive thanks to Damiano. How can I make sure justice is done, no one helps us, everyone turns the back on us, why? why no one help us, me? I don't understand why you don't help me. What do I need to do to get help?" How can i hope and beleve?

    Damiano Nicastro - RAGUSA

  • Eww aussie... Yuk... ****kiwis rock****

  • Can you say the dingo ate my baby

  • fuk you you fuking bitch ass redneck ass fagg eat fuck .

  • @TheLuisj62 dude shut the fuck up you stupid piece of shit motherfucker, how bout you go shove a fat fuckin dick down your thoat and choke on it for a while. its people like you that drive me fucking insane and give me the urge to beat the holy living piss out of. so go fuck yourself you shit stick cocksucker. have a nice day.

  • heres a good prank i did i turned off all the lights in my house and war all black even a ski mask so then i got my airsoft gun my mom and dad went out to eat so they get home and i hide behind the door and when they got in the kitchen i made a loud thump noise because i ran up stairs and they went up i got some of my moms jewlry and put it in a pillow case and i open the window to get on my roof and my mom and dad thought i was a rober they almost called the cops

  • i got a funny story but its gross, basicly i went into our company restroom and someone did a #2 in a uriantal(typo)

  • Why is this guy laughing at his own stupid jokes? ...& how the hell did i wind up watching this stupid crap?

  • thanks for telling your story this cheered me up.

  • I love this guy!!!!

    He remindes me of my family except for the voice

  • Garfield the Cat... LOL

  • This dude is Hulk Hogan's brother..

  • Where was this filmed? In South Africa? or perhaps Queensland? Because I know for a fact that is winter in Australia in July, and it still stays warm in Queensland.

  • Top comment is too extreme, laugh it off for God sake,

  • I HATE YOU FATFUCKER!

  • Hirnloser Spätrocker .

  • i like ur mustache ^-^

  • My father told me a story once... he was a doctor in the Air Force, and being a young man -and a joker- he decided one night to mess with the women of the Air Force. There was this particularly skittish young woman who was a nurse on late night where he worked. She was skittish, and superstitious. So one night he took a sheet, roller skates, and chains and rolled down the hallway where she worked. Scared her so bad the poor woman fainted almost instantly. She didn't even have time to scream.

  • when i was little there were bullets lying around so when nobody was in the kitchen i decided to put 3 in our coalrange to see if anything would happen. So i waited & waited & still nothing then my uncle & cousin came home & stood next to the coalrange(fire) to warm up considering it was freezing outside. i totally forgot i had put them in there & when i walked into the next room all i could hear was BANG! BANG! BANG! i tryed to run didnt get very far but the look on my familys face (PRICELESS)

  • Dat stache...

  • Reminds me of bruce-e from finding nemo

  • wow

  • is this real?

  • @NbaBaller550 I'm a foreigner and english is my second language and I understand him perfectly, I cant say the same for some rednecks and black people here in your country and then they wonder why the world hates America...., jackass.

  • @NbaBaller550 stfu dude it isn't "american" English, it's English. This man speaks beautifully, just in his accent. Broaden your cultures rather than dissing other people's.

  • Crazy fat bastard......funny as fuck! Great delivery and a funny Aussie bloke. Would buy him a drink any day and listen to his shit for hours.

  • @NbaBaller550 - and if you could write in ANY kind of English, maybe people could understand you... Wanker.

  • CLASSIC!

  • i dont actually know why i am watching this

  • @assassian0601 - Nope. Nor do I. This clown is a typical Australian 'bogan' - and these types just make me CRINGE!!

  • so me and my friend in 6th grade dicided to take a shortcut into the 8th grade halway. so she bolts down the hallway and she slips on her shoelace runs into the wall and breaks her arm. i started cracking up and i got suspened. :D interesting dsy that was. ok this one time my friend alyssa was trying to put something in my locker and i turned to face her and i didint kniw it but her fingers were in the locker so i slammed my locker and broke her hand oh that school year

  • One day when my dad was going to bed in the morig jumped in front of him and screamed and he fell back down the stairs I thought it was funny

  • @NbaBaller550 what are you talking about. I am an american and I can understand him just perfectly.

  • Too funny! I had a job similar to yours, but I never came up with a prank like that one. Good thing the woman didn't keel over dead.

  • happy australia day mate!

    

  • @NbaBaller550 What's wrong with his accent? It's still English. At least he's not speaking Spanish.

  • Thumbs up if you just feel like pulling his mustache?!

  • @NbaBaller550 He is obviously not american you assclown

  • Comment removed

  • lmao...Hilarious story and an epic mustache I think i shall subscribe to you sir. :)

  • Comment removed

  • you deserve a medal

  • Love the tattoo of the Sydney funnel web. I have one of a GBB (Green Bottle Blue)

  • So he gets her back. Once she was stable, she requested to see the man who saved her life. When my dad walked in, she took his hand in hers and said, "thank you. It was your voice that helped me find my way back. I didn't want you to have to do that damn paperwork."

  • @jla2358 nice

  • I have one from my dad. He was a paramedic.He responded to a call at a nursing home that a woman was possibly having a heart attack. On the way to the hospital after picking her up, she dies. dad was not in a good mood and had a migraine so he defibs her saying "ma'am, you are not dying on my stretcher today. Too much damn paperwork." Get's her back she dies two more times. he gets her back, saying "ma'am, did you not hear me? You are NOT dying on me. I don't want to do that paperwork!"

  • Anyone who speaks english and can't understand this guy must have mental disabilities.

  • I wish I could of been there to see that!

  • One time, I was watching the 2011 Rugby World Cup....>;)

  • @NbaBaller550 omg stfu. i'm an american and you are giving us a bad name. why don't you use your fucking ears? there isn't that much aussie slang involved in the vid. and let's be rational here. use your fancy standardized-test-taught "deductive reasoning" to decipher the phrases you dont understand. this guy has some pretty funny shit right here! >:/

  • Different County America's Think they ways Best look how bout you Try that Shit With Russia Get ya Asses Pwnd in 15 Min's not all american's Just the Dick's That think there God givin Right is to order any way go Aussie's What ya Think FAB kick so Up em self's Dick Bags Australian's What Chuck Noris Shit's Himself over

  • @NbaBaller550 american english? how bout u learn proper english, its called English for a reason.

  • @2010blackhawkdown I love your comment xD

  • Remember firecracker night? we used to have crazy jacks fights and when we got bored of that we started to throw them down a drain pipe and watch them go under water still alight and have a good old laugh.. but once one came back out of the water back up the pipe and out onto me! got stuck in between my shorts and shirt was still alight and burnt the fuck out of my guts and when i tried to knock it out of there it fucken burnt my arm!!! now i remember why cracker night got banned..cheers

  • @NbaBaller550

    What the fuck is so hard to understand? Maybe you mean fucktarded ebonics English...

  • : ) love your charisma

  • @NbaBaller550 come suck the snot off the end of my fuck-stick....did u understand that knob-jockey??.....

  • @TheFatAussieBarstard Hahaha! You know how to say it! :XD Seriously? How can he NOT understand you??.. I'm 13, norwegian, norwegian family and everything.. I know japanese, german, spanish and english! FAHK YEEEA >:D

  • @TheFatAussieBarstard thats origonal

  • A friend of my dads first was to drive the hearse over to the hospital to pick up the dead body and take it back to the funeral home. Well I guess one night he got a call to pick a fairly new passed away individual. From what I understand they had an open coffin like box that the body was placed in to transport it. Well he gets there and picks up the body and starts to drive back to the funeral home. When all of the sudden the body sits up and scares the hell out of him.

  • "The rest of the story"

    I guess he slammed on the brakes threw the hearse in park and ran off. After a little while and a little calming down he called the funeral home and told them he quit and where to find the hearse.

  • i used to dress up as a scarecrow for a haunt that i worked at (when i wasnt a clown) , a friend decided to play prank on his brother which was with the local police . it was getting close to halloween and i was dressed up waiting for him to show up when he did both of them were in front of me and i just reached over and put my hand on the cops shoulder and he pissed his pants and almost shot me it was fun not the first time i got in trouble doing that

  • lol i read about this, and they thought he was a ghost lol

  • ROFLMFAO!

  • My story is a bit of a long one, so I'll do a video response to his mate. Your story cacked me up

  • Wow !

    This was funny !

  • there was this one time when my brother and i were young kids we were running around the house and we had just gotten a puppy so we were house training him and i jumped over the news papers the dog had just crapped on and my brother who for got about the news papers slipped in the dogs crap and landed back first in all the crap LOL!! we still dont let him live that down hahaha

  • @Grapecrush01 hahaha...now thats funny...

  • @TheFatAussieBarstard lol if you think thats funny you should of seen his face .... and he did the same thing 2 days ago when he was running after his dog in the back yard only this time it was face first in the dog crap .. iv never seen him run in the house so fast in my life

  • @Grapecrush01 haha

  • @Grapecrush01 You my friend made me choke on laughter!

  • we have done the same thing in the morge at are hospital

  • It was Halloween night and me and some friends were runnin about their neighborhoods. My mates were encouraging one of our friends to bang on their neighbors living room window. It was pitch black out, and the window was pretty high up, so he goes up, only light is comin from the window, raises his arm, and falls clean in to the 5ft deep bay of the window below. needless to say, the thump was loud, he yelled out in pain, no injury, but we had to pull em out, before the owners caught us.

  • @TheEvilution666 It will be on EBAY soon...lol...true story...

  • Heres a good one. One time I was on youtube and i found this one channel . It was a good lookin channel. Good videos on this one. and i looked up at the name and it said

    THE FAT AUSSIE BASTARD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! most of your videos are very funny to me man. LOVE EM!!

  • Hahaha, cool.

  • what did he say "oyster"? :) ohh, and i bet you own a chopper, ay FAB?

  • Great vblog. Thanks for the shout out FAB :)

  • @benbeedell81 Yer welcome mate....

  • What is it about people with dead bodies, ghost and supernatural things? I dont know

  • Well a bunch of years back when i was about 12 or 13 i had to spend 3 weeks in the hospital for rectal bleeding docs couldent figure out what in the blue fuck was wrong with me long story short it was Ulcerative Coltis but anyway the whole time they made me shit in this chamber pot type thing and this nurse (Who was an extreamly attractive blonde) Had to sturr through it with a popsicle stick each time and test it for blood and such.Poor gal felt bad for her more to the story but damn comments

  • omg fab u make me laugh

  • Hahaha what a BaRstard! :P

  • Can you imagine if the poor fella woke up as they were trying to embalm him... OMG how horrible. I can't imagine how frightened he must have been. Now for your story, yes hilarious at the time, something me and my friends would have probably done, however hindsight does point out a few danger factors there. ROTFL Have a good day and TFS.

  • I had a friend worked over night at a funeral home. He was suppose to be there if there was a phone call during the night telling him someone had died. They had a big screen TV and cable to give the overnight guy stuff to do, but once per hour he was suppose to walk through the building. We let a guy in one time, complete with fake blood etc. During the guy's next round he went in one of the small viewing rooms where the guy flipped open the casket. He threw up everywhere. Yes we had to clean up

  • i was having a shit day until i watched this lol

  • everything funny that happens to me always ends up with me getting hurt or falling, I am pretty clumsy

  • Hey Darling i just watched this video . There seem to be a few dickheads who want to still fukn ridicule you . This pisses me off so bloody much . We're Australians with a very weird sense of humour no other country will understand . I do have a couple of hilairious tales to tell you , I'll have to send you a msg as the posts here aren't long enough for my tales . Love ya Heaps

  • Theres an old woman in Russia who woke up at her funeral..................

    12 mins later she died of shock at waking up at her funeral...

  • hahahahahaha,,,,,,,,,,,,,takei­toff :)!

  • you're lucky that she didn't soil herself in a more serious fashion.

  • you're lying. 

  • LOL the poor lady.........you mean fat bastard :p

  • Hahahahaha

  • I tagged you in my video as a shout out and i hope it helps you get more views!

  • Very funny Pete just brillant!!

  • i would love to elaborate but i dont have any stories on this subject. thanks for the stroy though!!!

  • so what job have you not done L.O.L

  • There was a woman recently that was in a coffin presumed dead of course and she woke up during the ceromony much to everyone surprise then she no kidding had a heart attack and died again.

  • Ahaaaa at the oyster. ha. That is where the dead ringer and graveyard shift come from. In the olden days they used to bury people with strings around their wrists attached to a bell. And if they came alive the bell would ring and the watchman would say, he is alive. LOL

  • That's some funny shit...

  • fuckin hell the zombies hath risen....

  • A similar story happend like this. where a russian lady died at her on funeral and was surpose to be dead, she woke up in her coffen and had a heart attack and died later on,, fucked up

  • LMAO FAB a doctor that collected me from a pushbike accident (1985) apparently chkd for a pulse & did all he could to revive me. Bunbled into the back of his combi van & was heading fo rthe Flinders Medical Center. I came to which he was turning into the ave that leads upto Flinders & he literally slammed the skids on so hard, I lnded in the front seat, almost knocking myself out.

    Go figure xD

  • @MilitantPeaceist Speculation is, my typos are a result of that accident xD

  • I feel sorry for those poor folk who work in that morgue in Africa. Yuck Pete you put me off oysters lol. You are so mean Pete I wouldn't have peed but I would certainly have screamed my head off.

  • I had a little boy jump out of a wardrobe and scare the sh*t out me and my mrs whilst house hunting 20 years ago. The little sod then went on to lock us and his mum in the bedroom for 20 mins til his dad came home. We didn't buy it!!!

  • hahahaha. would loved to been a fly on the wall to see that happen

  • ive heard about this condition so much, it would be absolutely terrifying

  • your starting to sound like me hahaha :)

  • Oh FAB you just made my day LMFAO

  • And yep slidden is now a word lol

  • BUWAHAHAHAHAHA Your best story ever!!!

  • Damn that would be scary lol and funny story! Nah nothing like that has ever happened to me though lol

  • SLIDEN is now a word FAB

  • @emitis13 yeehaa...hahaha

  • fab does a little bit of this and a little bit of that ;)

  • That's epic!!

    Ok, so a year or so ago, my sister was looking for the remote to the tv upstairs. What she didn't realize was she brought it down with her when she asked something earlier. The remotes looked identical, so we thought it was the one for downstairs. Anyway, she started looking for it, and we found that we had both remotes, so I started messing with the upstairs tv. The dog moved every time I did, making her think that the dog ate the remote. We still haven't let her live it down!!

  • That's disgraceful, FAB! Loved it! :P And yes, the past tense is 'slid'.

  • That's crazy that it's not mandatory for the people in SA to call the police when they think a person has died.. Over in the States, you have to report any kind of death to the Police.. They will come by with the Coroner to verify the person is indeed dead before the body is released to the funeral parlor. Back in the olden days, it wasn't required to call the Police in the USA.. The same problems occurred, some people were actually buried ALIVE! Hell of a way to die..

  • Hey not funny, I work in pathology, and that would suck!

  • Dead corpse? As opposed to...