I used to look after my little brothers I never hit them of course but was very frustrated at times being a teenager with a huge responsibilty. One day I turned around to the yougest brother whilst giving him a bath as he was playing up and said, 'do you know how much it hurts me when you dont listen and misbehave' It was like a magic wand had been waved, he understood! Children do understand reason! explain why you are upset or frustrated and they will listen.
2 year old 6 year olds can still pull me to the grounddd and i can feel that there stronger literally cant move them off at all :S:S:S im half the sizee funny hahaha
i wish this was out there when i was a kid. now they think i'm irritable with my older brothers and think it's weird that i'm not that way at all with anyone else. it disgust me parents, older brothers, even grandpas who think it's easier to beat up a kid to learn then actually talk with them in the same level. i always treat my godson and little cousins as equals and sit right next to them at the same level to explain them stuff.
What you say is true, when an adult uses corporal punishment not to discipline a child, but out of their own frustrations. But there are cases where a child's transgression is so great the there is no choice. And one instance of corporal punishment in such a case, can save the child from going down the wrong path. This is the role of a good parent.
We'd all like to live in paradise, but some people are born with more inherent tendency towards violence than others.
I was beaten with a belt for every little thing until I got big enough to shake it off. Then he started with the fists, unfortunately for him genetics were in my favor. I was tired of being physically bullied by him my entire life so I was more inclined to defend myself when he attacked me with his fists. It caused a lot of problems in my family because of course I was in the wrong by restraining him. He wonders still why I do not respect him, it honestly makes me laugh at the ignorance.
@Mookies75 This should have never happened to you. And im so sorry to hear that. He is a coward. At least you know what a decent person should be :) x
My dad used physical punishment on me. His way of raising me has really hurt me. I am terrified around authority. I don't feel safe when the boss is around. I really have a difficult time.
My dad never used a belt and he never actually hit me. He only hit my brother, but to this day, I am afraid of him. Because for my entire life I can remember him yelling and screaming at me. He would yell and scream at me and my brother for EVERYTHING. I am 24 years old and I hate my father, I don't ever want to see him again. I would not care if he got cancer and died. If I could cut all relations with him I could I would. He deserves it. Unfortunately my mom doesn't.
@Butmunch666 My mom on the other hand was always the one that tried to protect me. She was always the one that held my dad off. She was always there, she was kind, she was awesome.
My mom is one of the most wonderful people on the planet and I would gladly give my life for her and I would fight to the death for her and her safety.
@Butmunch666 I often feel like I will not miss my dad when he dies. I suppose I might feel some sorrow and sadness but I feel a lot of anger towards him sometimes/
@Christopher711 Sorry to hear. My dad used to punish me with beatings and making me to kneel on the floor for hours on top of yelling at and belittling me. Ever since I became an adult he has turned a new face and tried to show a friendlier side of himself. It's the most awkward thing ever for me to try accept him that way since my childhood relationship with him was so much based on fear and anger.
There is a limit. Not only do you have to apologize to your children and admit your past failure but the sooner the better. There is a point when children lose the desire to be close with their parent. The best an abusive parent can hope for is that their children grow to love their abuser, and watch as they act out the same aggression and abuse that was placed upon their backs.
For the sake of a differing opinion, I'll submit that "yelling and threatening" and spanking are two completely seperate things in our house, and in the word of God. The former is unexceptable and fruitless, whereas the spanking, with loving-patience and sanctioned by God, is both loving in purpose and quite effective. Ask any of my five children wether their father loves them WHILE I am spanking them. I am confident of their answers-from their perspective, and that is what matters.
Self-therapy moment-- Mom beat the crap out of us with a belt. When I was about 30, a friend of mine was wearing shorts and I noticed she was wearing a belt with them, and I felt a knot in my stomach thinking, "Wow-- I didn't think she was that kind of person." I was a bit afraid of her-- and this was all subconsciously. I couldn't take my eyes off the belt...then it hit me, what I was reacting to. Laughed a bit at myself. Btw, NEVER did that to my kids. And they're pretty cool people!
Stefan I stumbled across your videos by accident about a year ago and they have changed my outlook on life, beginning with 'The Story of Your Enslavement'. I always find them insightful and thought-provoking and this is another fantastic piece. Many thanks and keep spreading the word!
If Stef was a musician and these videocasts were his music, then watching these videos would be like being able to witness mozart produce masterpiece such as the Requiem mass every other day. I hope that's not actually an understatement XD
I urge people who dicipline their children with such violence to stop it completely and to start making amends NOW if they wish to form CLOSE and strong loving and peaceful bonds with their children. For when they grow up and your old and grey who do you think is going to look after you??? and do you think they a really going to the best job they can with the memories they have of you for every misguided and childlike mistake they made. Thank you.
@shannonismotivated. Thanks I'm the eldest of 6. My parents beat me violently and routinely, At times, another adult had to physically stop it. They used belts and thickrubberstraps. The 2nd eldest, a sister, frozen in terror at the sight, developed PTSD. I don't know why I didn't become a serial killer or rapist. This began at age 4 & continued for 10 years. There were tortures, lit matches into my open palm, hands on gas burners, spoonfuls of the hottest pepper, not to be swallowed or rinsed.
I was a victim of regular belt hitting dicipline method, and i strongly agree with what is being said here, im so glad you care covering this topic and your wise and true words. Since a large amount of resentment still holds for me and my father without a close bond compared to that of my mother who was the opposite.
if spanking is not "violence" then why don't normal adults spank each other for bad behaviour? Lemme answer this: because they are almost always equal in size and you could be "spanked" back yourself, only few times stronger. It's obvious hypocrisy of some parents, who hit their children. It's very easy to hit an individual who is much lesser than you and can't defend himself. If children were armed, I'm sure parents would think twice before hitting them. Fuck this idiotic double standard.
it is not to an individual to decide that he is "fine" when he was beaten in childhood. The mere fact that he now beats his own kids means that he is clearly NOT fine and there is something wrong with his head. If a person who was beaten starts killing puppies and kittens etc. end gives you a "I was beaten and turned out fine" crap, you realize, it's absurd. Nice vid, stef.
@MoneyIsSilver Why are you even watching this video? You don't know what you're talking about. You seem to know nothing about human interaction and psychology. I'm betting the reason that child was acting that way because he has a terrible mom and it's her fault hes "being a real brat".
almost lost it @ 3:50. i was tense this whole clip through. from 2nd-4th grade, i was belted badly. this video hits home w/ me as i understand the challenge of raising my 3 & 6 year old sons. thanx stef for illuminating the truth.....good tips in clip!
I suggest this too, but do not 'hit' your children with statism, verbal abuse, reiigion, New age mumbo jumbo, materalism, consumerism, as these typically last longer in their negative reactions. A child hit with religion, will embrance abuse from the cult masters, or the statist, will accept killing and stealing for freedom if a person with a 2000 dollar suit or university chair, but the ones which seek freedom, and anarchy they become truly free and rational, as a shining light in the dark.
*yawn* Mind your own business. I never understand people that stick their nose in other peoples business, especially concerning their kids. Just more big government conditioning. As everything else, a healthy mix is the best. Too much of one thing, you're going to have a screwed up kid when they get older.
Funny, most of these anti-child abuse people are strong advocates of abortion. Hmmmm, if that's not a double standard, I don't know what is. Don't spank your child, but murdering it is fine.
@bweazel This has nothing to do with government control. It's about individual rights. Do you think it's okay for me to come over and slap the shit out of you? Because that's exactly the same thing as beating on your kid. That's precisely what we should have laws for--it's like the entire original point of the police force.
One can only hope those kids grow up strong enough to snap your neck when you're old and helpless. Pathetic worms.
@Obedience Exactly. So mind your own individual rights, and leave other people to theirs. Nope, that would be assault and battery, my friend. Ummm, no it's not. If the kid pulled a prank at school, pissed all over the girl's bathroom or something, he's going to need a little more than a time out in the corner for being such an idiot. A belt would be just fine.
I love how you say this has nothing to do with government, but we need laws. Hahah, lovely double think you have going on there.
@Obedience Strange that you say that, because stats do not agree with you. There was more physical discipline in our history, and there was, in my opinion, more loving, more family oriented, more neighborly people in this country. If we were to follow your logic, nursing homes should be out of business, because less parents "beating" their children would mean more parents stay with their children when they grow old, sadly, more parents are ignored by their children and die in these nursing homes
@Obedience I was disciplined with a belt, paddle, hand (to the ass, and the face on a couple of occasions), and anything else that was close by. And really, I hold no ill will towards them at all, because I'm a grown adult, and that was in the past. Seems like you have some things in your past that you need to let go of. I would blame this very culture (on display in this video) and you for you not being able to let this go.
@Obedience Like I said, it has everything to do with big government (aka Nanny state) when you are trying to give children individual rights against their parents. You are trying to make the State, not parents, the final arbiter in how a child is raised. You are trying to make parents fear their children by giving the children rights the parents do not have.
So, let's check your logic again. Does this mean children will now be able to be sent to jail at the age of four for slapping a girl?
@bweazel About child slapping girl at age four being sent to prison. No, that's not reasonable because children are not fully developed mentally. But they should still have rights, just as someone who is mentally challenged have rights. You wouldn't hit them because they make a mistake or other, right? That's because they are individuals, like children. As I said, it has nothing to do with government *control*--it is a matter of inalienable human rights, the abscence of violence and/or force.
@Obedience You want to take what was once the providence of parents, and you want to give it to the state. No matter how you argue this, it is not justifiable. Especially since abuse happens in a very small percentage of homes, discipline, on the other hand happens lots of places, and it's really no concern of yours how it is carried out. Children are the responsibility of their parents until the State declares them legal adults, until then, mind your own business.
@bweazel I think most people would agree that beating on your kids is unacceptable. At least ninety-nine percent of everyone here in Sweden does. There is no "right to use violence" for parents. No "freedom to oppress". If you think that, I can only conclude you have no understanding of freedom, as in the abcense of force--for everyone--incl. kids. As for your abortion argument, it's not even an argument. You're just pointing fingers, "he's wrong therefore I'm right". I'm out of this discussion.
@Obedience Why do you keep calling discipline, beating or abuse? Oppress? For fuck sake.... they're children. They're being disciplined, not oppressed. You bleeding hearts drive me insane. Keep your nose out of other peoples families. Deal? Abuse is marginal, but you guys don't have much of a platform unless you behave as though any form of physical discipline is abuse. I for one do not feel abused. So for the fifth time now, mind your own business. Discipline is up to the parents, not you.
@bweazel, disciple is not up to you. your kid's conduct is best to reflect yours. any unresolved anxiety, anger, stress and tension you experience in life is passed on to your kids through "disciple" if they disrupt your circuits. negative emotions stated above create roadblocks in rational assessment and you become driven via adrenaline. take a timeout yourself before you take your frustrations out on your kids. as humanitarians, even your kids are our business (in or out of houses).
@existentialatheist Then who is it up to, smart guy? You? Ya, that's all well and good that you guys like to keep behaving as though children have no free will of their own. I like how you keep acting like anything a child does wrong is always a mistake. How naive. I was a little shit when I was a kid, and I deserved a fair amount of beltings.
Wow.... are you talking about humans or machines here? Pretty hard to tell.
Who said anyone was taking aggression out on me? I deserved most if not all
@bweazel and i was belted for about three years and endured many more years of having my self-esteem crushed by dad. i am not right, i carry the burden of instinctively reacting as my dad did. i gotta stop, step back, try and empathize my kid's position and explain what i would rather he do and i demonstrate it. it is tough, but i admit when i am inconsistent and apologize. i think we are trying to make clear that aggression on young people is unacceptable. it will take time.
@existentialatheist So you have a low self-esteem, that doesn't mean you being belted had anything to do with it or was even the main cause of it, but you all behave as though, without the physical discipline, you would have turned out as a perfect parent, and your kids would listen and hang on every word you said. Sorry, come back to reality please. Sure, empathize away. You should know as a parent that empathy and mature talks don't always get through to kids.
@existentialatheist And from what it sounds like, you are mentally scarred. Probably from your father talking down to you, never taking interest in you, condescending you, treating you like a general annoyance, telling you your ideas are stupid, telling you you'll never make anything of yourself, etc. I'm sure your pain has very little to do with you being belted. I'm sure the way your father treated you in between the beltings hurt you more than the belt.
@existentialatheist I saw you had some discouraging words shot back at you about non-aggressive parenting, so figured I'd offer some encouragement.
I was raised in a similar household to the one you described, and I must say that just reading comments by people like yourself who have decided to break the cycle of violence and adopt peaceful parenting methods...well, it's just tremendously uplifting and encouraging. Keep up the great work!
@bweazel. look, i sense a little passive-aggression. that is ok; i get it. i do not claim to be some elite intellectual, and i struggle w/ my own boys. i try and remember to adhere to my authentic well-being as a libertarian. i will be free to do as i will as my kids will; only as long as i do not violate his right to be free as well. if "correction" is what my child is needing, i cannot be right to issue out "incorrection."
@existentialatheist Oh, why thank you, I'm glad I could have your approval ;) Weird, because that's exactly what you do when you try to tell people how to raise their kids. Spanking your kid is not violating their right to freedom, to say so is utterly ridiculous. By that same logic, putting a kid in time out is violating their right to free movement. Again, for probably the tenth time now, discipline is not abuse, you all really need to stop acting like it is.
@Obedience I think most people would agree that Sweden's nanny state is not something any of us want to become. You keep your feminism and child worship, we'll keep our individual rights to raise and discipline our children how we see fit. Thank you.
@Obedience Does this mean two teenage boys that get in a fight will now spend what would have normally been a suspension, supervised by their parents, in a jail cell supervised by the State?
You see, your naivety in wanting to give children rights means that you must now hold them to the same standards as adults (which anyone with half a brain can see they are clearly not at the level to be treated as such). You've got a couple kinks to work out in your utopia here
@lordthawkeye No they don't. Correlation is not always causation. Oh yes, I'll be sure and smoke that right up. That moderation and a mix of physical and mental discipline the best? Yes, I feel it is best. But again, it's really none of your business. Refer to the abortion argument, it's funny how the same people that scream bloody murder for individual rights seem to have no stomach for them when they come to other peoples kids.
Ain't worth the paper it's printed on. Do you have hard evidence backing up your claims or do you not?
No one's talking about abortion here so that's a complete red herring. Do you have an actual argument or not?
"But again, it's really none of your business."
If I saw someone being assaulted and did nothing because it was "none of my business", what would you think of me? I thought so. Don't use arguments you wouldn't accept yourself.
Even without all the studies, the "do not beat your children" approach makes so much sense. You don't want to teach your children that violence is a legit way to express your disappointment or a way to get others to do what you want. You don't want your daughters and sons to confuse spousal abuse with love. I hope this movement does catch on because I think these kids will grow up to be much more reasonable and patient adults. It makes me excited to have kids one day!
you can beat your horses at the "HorsePull" but ya can't hit your kids with a belt.. I believe the belt I got from age 4 to 9 has kept me out of prison.. ya see, the belt reinforced what my mom was sayin'.. she got my attention at a very your age on the do's and don't' of society.. ya know who needs a beatin'..? the people that are bringin' sufferin' into our homes through no fault of our own.. I'm sure the belt was spared in their upbringings..
May we hit them with steel rods then? Or spiked clubs? My parents used to stab me with a crooked knife and i believe it was a strong personality builder, i am as tough as nails now.
I've got a question. What about when being all peaceful and calm doesn't work? I'm not advocating violence or force or anything like that. What do you do when just saying "honey, you shouldn't do that because it's wrong because of so and so, and it helps you me and everyone else when we refrain from doing this" doesn't work, and the child just keeps repeating the mistake, even though they admittingly know why it's wrong and know they can stop it. what do you do then???
I was listening to a psychologist the other day. Ensure that most (he said 80%) of your interractions with people are pleasant, rational, positive and that no more that 20% is unpleasant, nagging etc. He used the metaphore of a "meat sandwich", i.e., if you have to do something unpleasant ensure that there is abundant padding (love) before and after to put things into context (so that the punishment doesn't become the only context ). Use rewards and punishments. Not slaps.
Sure! But the poster was saying that there are times when it just doesn't work. Ultimately you need to build an understanding with the child. Ensure you are always engaging the child like a human being (not a cartoon, toy animal, punchbag, etc.) - that way you build an understanding on a human level and it becomes very hard for a child to betray that understanding...
@CO2TROL ok, well what if the mischief the child intends to do outweighs the reward you would give if it behaved? Forgive me for saying this, but the reward system to me sounds like a form of bribery, and I'm worried it might just teach the child that if it ever wants a reward it just has to misbehave.
@FlailingJunk hmm well let's say you're telling the child to go to sleep since its late and everytime it doesn't do so the child ends up waking up late, misses it's bus and is late for school. Despite knowing that to avoid the displeasure of getting in trouble in school, as well as starting the day in a frantic and rushed atmosphere, the child still remains up late at night rather then going to bed. Asking nicely and giving reason doesn't work so what then?
Ya, he(she?) is definitely old enough to understand the problems that this behavior is causing you. I highly recommend approaching this conflict with the method advocated by Dr. Thomas Gordon in his book Parent Effectiveness Training. You can find some material and success stories on the Parent Effectiveness Training blog. I guarantee the end results will be worth it for both of you.
@jdog101d You talk to them. The only time you need to use a "protective use of force" is when they are endangering themselves and need to be removed from the situation. Check out Alfie Kohn, Marshall Rosenberg and Gabor Mate.
@jeffiek I love when people bring up the debt and kids in the same argument. Each and every single of them are stunningly full of shit and horribly disingenuous. No one gives a shit about their kids these days, which is why people don't even bat an eyelash when talking about all the debt they're about to force their children to inherit. As long as they live their life happy and to the fullest, what does it matter what kind of world will be left for their children? Baby Boomers = Narcissists.
@jeffiek I love when people bring up the debt and kids in the same argument. Each and every single of them are stunningly full of shit and horribly disingenuous. No one gives a shit about their kids these days, which is why people don't even bat an eyelash when talking about all the debt they're about to force their children to inherit. As long as they live their life happy and to the fullest, what does it matter what kind of world will be left for their children? Baby Boomers = Narcissists.
In the past life was harder, physically, and a man had to understand and know violence before it cost him his life in a fight over a woman, or something like that. While getting a good beating every now and then might have produced some mental scars that would be buried eventually, it would have toughened a man on the outside, where it mattered more. I would rather be familiar with a danger than be naive totally naive to it. Criminal abuse creates criminals though.
Stefan just curious but do you allow your child to watch cable television? A video on media influence on a child's mind would be super interesting I think.
I wish now a days hey that the belt was the only thing I was hit with. Instead I can recount being beaten with a hanger, and the extension cord, a switch (i.e. a thin bush branch), and the cou'de gra having lit matches put out on my bare skin...
I really don't understand what the big problem is with repressive communist regimes. What a load of sissy crap! You sissies just need to get over it. I mean, really. Take Ayn Rand, for instance. She grew up under the yoke of Uncle Joe himself, and she turned out just fine!!
Children have rights, just like any other human being. People who hit their children should be incarcerated for initiating force, just as one should be incarcerated for assault on a fellow man. It is shameful to see that so many of these comments seem to not regard this as self-evident. There is no difference in principal between violent abuse and sexual abuse. Both are violations of basic individual rights. Think about that.
@stefbot - you bring up an excellent point: if you want your child to develop a rational mind then that has to be developed, hence reason with them the problem and what is at stake. otherwise, by engaging the problem on a physical manner, it teaches the child that physicality is the standard course to deal with problems.
we need to develop critical thinking, a heightened rational mind in young people and move them off emotionality and physical violence as "ends" to resolving problems!
as devil's advocate for a moment ... if only you addressed the emotional violence of poor mothering as thoroughly as you address the physical violence of poor fathering
any dad who is reading this. do not try to poke your thumb up your kids youknow wherehole. because he will grow up so angry and scared he'll be distrustfull of any man. to any mom who is reading this. when the first dad fails, do not try to find other men, on wich you lay responsibility to raise your kids, instead of taking responsibility yourself. do not move your kid all over the country 12 times before he's 18. don't kick him out of the house the moment he's 18. dont do what my parents did
I can remember being hit once. And it never happened again when I was young. I have a 1 year old and have never come close to smacking or hitting her. Even when she climbs on end table or jumps on the couch. Some times I let it go, or I sit or take her down. I look right at her in the face and tell her, If you jump or climb and you fall your gonna hurt yourself. Sometimes she gets it, sometimes but she doesn't. But they are young so it takes time.
There is no slavery anymore? That is a rather rich statement considering the status of current US governmental legislation including being subjected to the humiliation of the TSA.
I was hit with a coat hanger, weight lifting belt, and regular belt when I was a kid. I can honestly say I'm happy I was. But then again this was a regular thing for hispanics then and wasn't considered abuse.
Anybody noticed what's lacking in these advocates of child-hitting? Do any of them say anything like, 'Hell, I really hate it when it comes to the point where I have to hit my children', 'I really feel sad when having to hit my children, but I know it does them good', 'I was very upset after I belted my son', 'It's not nice when it comes to hitting, but it has to be done.' ?????
There is as much a difference between spanking and beating as there is between time out and locking your child in a closet for a week. One can help if done properly, one is only meant to satisfy the anger of the purpatrator. The arguement that there is no moral differance between a parent and child and so a parent has no right to inflict pain for any reason is false. By the same logic you cannot send you child to bed early, force them to go to school, or even tell them not to use profanity.
Using that logic removes all the parents moral obligation to provide for that child because what right does the child have to demand care. The fact is that the act of procreation creates a new person. Despite what may seem intuitive, that act of creation does not end at birth. It continues untill the child is an adult. At that point the child is now granted the full rights and responcibilities of a full fledged member of society.
@RationalismDefined The child does have a right to demand care, on account of the fact that the child is the consequence of the adults actions, and everyone is responsible for the consequences of their action. Bringing a child into this world and not providing for it is highly immoral. We wouldn't say it makes sense to even buy a horse and then let it starve to death, that is cruelty. The parent is immoral if it denies care, the child is NOT immoral for needing it.
I have seen many children that have been "talked to" as if they were adults when they did something wrong and they have turned out to be some of the worst people I know of in society today. Just go to any yuppie neighborhood where every mother thinks their child is perfect and see how they turned out! Case in point.
@dpla5762 I agree 100%..the reason we have the police state we do right now is because so many "momma's boys" that were raised by permissive single moms never learned to take responsibility. Simply crying to authority has been how they have been raised to get attention, and crying to the state just replaces mom in later years.
A very good point. Now my question is why so many women are attracted to violent men. Same with men of course, although our society doesn't tend to call violent women violent, instead they're called fiery or impulsive. Is it because they recognize the behavior and associate it with people they (sort of) loved in the past?
What a load of sissy crap. My father hit me almost everyday and now I work in law enforcement protecting the citizens of America, I turned out more than fine.
@BornWhiteSupremacy1 Protecting citizens....HA what a joke. Turned out fine? your name is whitesupremecy you dumb redneck. A white supremist cop.... do me a favor, go under your sink, pour all of the cleaners into a cup, drink it and die you worthless pig.
I used to get belted mercilessly. Sometimes for things my siblings did. The welts were there for days. I hate my parents. I left home at 15 and never went back, even to my bitch moms funeral. My dads in his 60'6 and I hope he dies alone.
I don't work and have psychological problems, including an irrational hatred of humans.
@baalisgod666 I feel your pain. The abuse must have been severe because you still carry the pain with you. It is unfortunately the norm for parents to go the path of least resistance when parenting. I not only did get slapped, I got beat with a heavy shoe with repeated blows to my head when I was a child. My father was and is a coward to strangers, but took that frustration out on me - his only child. I don't hate him, as it's not useful to me and my life. I just forgot he exists.
Good advice but what is your accent?
megansmummy77 1 week ago
I used to look after my little brothers I never hit them of course but was very frustrated at times being a teenager with a huge responsibilty. One day I turned around to the yougest brother whilst giving him a bath as he was playing up and said, 'do you know how much it hurts me when you dont listen and misbehave' It was like a magic wand had been waved, he understood! Children do understand reason! explain why you are upset or frustrated and they will listen.
nadineallen 1 week ago
This has been flagged as spam show
2 year old 6 year olds can still pull me to the grounddd and i can feel that there stronger literally cant move them off at all :S:S:S im half the sizee funny hahaha
Sunnyrach 2 weeks ago
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Sunnyrach 2 weeks ago
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Sunnyrach 2 weeks ago
....hit them with sticks instead!
TheRandomHoboChannel 2 weeks ago
i wish this was out there when i was a kid. now they think i'm irritable with my older brothers and think it's weird that i'm not that way at all with anyone else. it disgust me parents, older brothers, even grandpas who think it's easier to beat up a kid to learn then actually talk with them in the same level. i always treat my godson and little cousins as equals and sit right next to them at the same level to explain them stuff.
pedrofanti 2 weeks ago
What you say is true, when an adult uses corporal punishment not to discipline a child, but out of their own frustrations. But there are cases where a child's transgression is so great the there is no choice. And one instance of corporal punishment in such a case, can save the child from going down the wrong path. This is the role of a good parent.
We'd all like to live in paradise, but some people are born with more inherent tendency towards violence than others.
Nomoreidsleft 3 weeks ago
I was beaten with a belt for every little thing until I got big enough to shake it off. Then he started with the fists, unfortunately for him genetics were in my favor. I was tired of being physically bullied by him my entire life so I was more inclined to defend myself when he attacked me with his fists. It caused a lot of problems in my family because of course I was in the wrong by restraining him. He wonders still why I do not respect him, it honestly makes me laugh at the ignorance.
Mookies75 3 weeks ago
@Mookies75 This should have never happened to you. And im so sorry to hear that. He is a coward. At least you know what a decent person should be :) x
nadineallen 1 week ago
Uh , Like this video??? Try , LOVE this video! Thank you,
Christopher711 1 month ago
My dad used physical punishment on me. His way of raising me has really hurt me. I am terrified around authority. I don't feel safe when the boss is around. I really have a difficult time.
Christopher711 1 month ago
um... how fucked in the head do you need to be to rate 'dislike' on this video?
plarfusa 2 months ago
My dad never used a belt and he never actually hit me. He only hit my brother, but to this day, I am afraid of him. Because for my entire life I can remember him yelling and screaming at me. He would yell and scream at me and my brother for EVERYTHING. I am 24 years old and I hate my father, I don't ever want to see him again. I would not care if he got cancer and died. If I could cut all relations with him I could I would. He deserves it. Unfortunately my mom doesn't.
Butmunch666 2 months ago
@Butmunch666 My mom on the other hand was always the one that tried to protect me. She was always the one that held my dad off. She was always there, she was kind, she was awesome.
My mom is one of the most wonderful people on the planet and I would gladly give my life for her and I would fight to the death for her and her safety.
Butmunch666 2 months ago
@Butmunch666 I often feel like I will not miss my dad when he dies. I suppose I might feel some sorrow and sadness but I feel a lot of anger towards him sometimes/
Christopher711 1 month ago
@Christopher711 Sorry to hear. My dad used to punish me with beatings and making me to kneel on the floor for hours on top of yelling at and belittling me. Ever since I became an adult he has turned a new face and tried to show a friendlier side of himself. It's the most awkward thing ever for me to try accept him that way since my childhood relationship with him was so much based on fear and anger.
SuperPopotamus 1 month ago
@SuperPopotamus for me the abuse was more emotional than physical but the spanking was certainly one element of it.
Christopher711 1 month ago
There is a limit. Not only do you have to apologize to your children and admit your past failure but the sooner the better. There is a point when children lose the desire to be close with their parent. The best an abusive parent can hope for is that their children grow to love their abuser, and watch as they act out the same aggression and abuse that was placed upon their backs.
MaximusJacobus 2 months ago
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Ted2864 2 months ago
For the sake of a differing opinion, I'll submit that "yelling and threatening" and spanking are two completely seperate things in our house, and in the word of God. The former is unexceptable and fruitless, whereas the spanking, with loving-patience and sanctioned by God, is both loving in purpose and quite effective. Ask any of my five children wether their father loves them WHILE I am spanking them. I am confident of their answers-from their perspective, and that is what matters.
Ted2864 2 months ago
Self-therapy moment-- Mom beat the crap out of us with a belt. When I was about 30, a friend of mine was wearing shorts and I noticed she was wearing a belt with them, and I felt a knot in my stomach thinking, "Wow-- I didn't think she was that kind of person." I was a bit afraid of her-- and this was all subconsciously. I couldn't take my eyes off the belt...then it hit me, what I was reacting to. Laughed a bit at myself. Btw, NEVER did that to my kids. And they're pretty cool people!
frithar 2 months ago 3
I used to get the belt for being "mouthy" or a "brat" and it didn't stop me from doing anything I wanted to do as a kid...
MrSpemat 2 months ago
Stefan I stumbled across your videos by accident about a year ago and they have changed my outlook on life, beginning with 'The Story of Your Enslavement'. I always find them insightful and thought-provoking and this is another fantastic piece. Many thanks and keep spreading the word!
leesy4000 2 months ago
If Stef was a musician and these videocasts were his music, then watching these videos would be like being able to witness mozart produce masterpiece such as the Requiem mass every other day. I hope that's not actually an understatement XD
dopejoel 2 months ago 8
Judge Williams Adams beat his daughter for using the internet
itsadeadmansparty 2 months ago
Stefan, I have been watching your videos and listening to your podcasts almost everyday for the last year or more. Science bless you!
dleksen 2 months ago 6
@dleksen thanks!
stefbot 2 months ago
oh boy what a speech, fantastic stuff stef.
TheJuansLife7 2 months ago 5
@TheJuansLife7 thank you
stefbot 2 months ago 2
People MUST "put down their belts" before government will "put down its guns".
RodCornholio 2 months ago 3
@RodCornholio amen to that brother
stefbot 2 months ago 3
I urge people who dicipline their children with such violence to stop it completely and to start making amends NOW if they wish to form CLOSE and strong loving and peaceful bonds with their children. For when they grow up and your old and grey who do you think is going to look after you??? and do you think they a really going to the best job they can with the memories they have of you for every misguided and childlike mistake they made. Thank you.
shannonismotivated 2 months ago 7
@shannonismotivated wisdom
stefbot 2 months ago
@shannonismotivated. Thanks I'm the eldest of 6. My parents beat me violently and routinely, At times, another adult had to physically stop it. They used belts and thickrubberstraps. The 2nd eldest, a sister, frozen in terror at the sight, developed PTSD. I don't know why I didn't become a serial killer or rapist. This began at age 4 & continued for 10 years. There were tortures, lit matches into my open palm, hands on gas burners, spoonfuls of the hottest pepper, not to be swallowed or rinsed.
somthinjustaintright 1 month ago
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shannonismotivated 2 months ago
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shannonismotivated 2 months ago
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shannonismotivated 2 months ago
I was a victim of regular belt hitting dicipline method, and i strongly agree with what is being said here, im so glad you care covering this topic and your wise and true words. Since a large amount of resentment still holds for me and my father without a close bond compared to that of my mother who was the opposite.
shannonismotivated 2 months ago
Ya no hitting kids it hurts like hell and you'll have to cover up the bruises
soccerrox999 2 months ago
if spanking is not "violence" then why don't normal adults spank each other for bad behaviour? Lemme answer this: because they are almost always equal in size and you could be "spanked" back yourself, only few times stronger. It's obvious hypocrisy of some parents, who hit their children. It's very easy to hit an individual who is much lesser than you and can't defend himself. If children were armed, I'm sure parents would think twice before hitting them. Fuck this idiotic double standard.
MaikUniversum 2 months ago
it is not to an individual to decide that he is "fine" when he was beaten in childhood. The mere fact that he now beats his own kids means that he is clearly NOT fine and there is something wrong with his head. If a person who was beaten starts killing puppies and kittens etc. end gives you a "I was beaten and turned out fine" crap, you realize, it's absurd. Nice vid, stef.
MaikUniversum 2 months ago
Can you talk to my dad??? Bah... too late!
meberic 2 months ago
Ever my hero Stefan.
Much love as always.
inquisitorMence 2 months ago
I watched a mom spank her kid yesterday and it was totally necessary.
MoneyIsSilver 2 months ago
@MoneyIsSilver 5:55 + and up seeing you didn't watch any of this. Or watched is on mute.
Nolen87 2 months ago
@MoneyIsSilver Yeah, because that little kid caused so much harm in this world... spanking is never necessary.
GreedX23 2 months ago
@GreedX23 Yeah, he was being a real brat.
MoneyIsSilver 2 months ago
@MoneyIsSilver Why are you even watching this video? You don't know what you're talking about. You seem to know nothing about human interaction and psychology. I'm betting the reason that child was acting that way because he has a terrible mom and it's her fault hes "being a real brat".
GreedX23 2 months ago
@GreedX23 Its cause she's a single mom. There's no dad there to enforce boundaries.
MoneyIsSilver 2 months ago
@GreedX23 Do you have a child?
bweazel 2 months ago
@MoneyIsSilver Necessary for what?
andrewh817 2 months ago
almost lost it @ 3:50. i was tense this whole clip through. from 2nd-4th grade, i was belted badly. this video hits home w/ me as i understand the challenge of raising my 3 & 6 year old sons. thanx stef for illuminating the truth.....good tips in clip!
existentialatheist 2 months ago
I want to believe! In Stef, kids have an excellent spokesperson, and may it be that all he foretells comes to pass.
not2tees 2 months ago
That's right, use scorpions instead!
Meh, as long as the kid is wearing jeans, they'll be fine. ;)
gshooting 2 months ago
Now the next thing is to get Stefan to stop thinking children are clay for parents to mold.
j3ox 2 months ago
You've already changed my mind about spanking. I hope to become father soon. "Wiser and better then me." Totally agree! Tks!
BrasiLIndomaveL 2 months ago
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I suggest this too, but do not 'hit' your children with statism, verbal abuse, reiigion, New age mumbo jumbo, materalism, consumerism, as these typically last longer in their negative reactions. A child hit with religion, will embrance abuse from the cult masters, or the statist, will accept killing and stealing for freedom if a person with a 2000 dollar suit or university chair, but the ones which seek freedom, and anarchy they become truly free and rational, as a shining light in the dark.
KevZen2000 2 months ago 2
*yawn* Mind your own business. I never understand people that stick their nose in other peoples business, especially concerning their kids. Just more big government conditioning. As everything else, a healthy mix is the best. Too much of one thing, you're going to have a screwed up kid when they get older.
Funny, most of these anti-child abuse people are strong advocates of abortion. Hmmmm, if that's not a double standard, I don't know what is. Don't spank your child, but murdering it is fine.
bweazel 2 months ago
@bweazel Amen!
JoeShmoe65x2 2 months ago
@bweazel This has nothing to do with government control. It's about individual rights. Do you think it's okay for me to come over and slap the shit out of you? Because that's exactly the same thing as beating on your kid. That's precisely what we should have laws for--it's like the entire original point of the police force.
One can only hope those kids grow up strong enough to snap your neck when you're old and helpless. Pathetic worms.
Obedience 2 months ago
@Obedience Exactly. So mind your own individual rights, and leave other people to theirs. Nope, that would be assault and battery, my friend. Ummm, no it's not. If the kid pulled a prank at school, pissed all over the girl's bathroom or something, he's going to need a little more than a time out in the corner for being such an idiot. A belt would be just fine.
I love how you say this has nothing to do with government, but we need laws. Hahah, lovely double think you have going on there.
bweazel 2 months ago
@Obedience Strange that you say that, because stats do not agree with you. There was more physical discipline in our history, and there was, in my opinion, more loving, more family oriented, more neighborly people in this country. If we were to follow your logic, nursing homes should be out of business, because less parents "beating" their children would mean more parents stay with their children when they grow old, sadly, more parents are ignored by their children and die in these nursing homes
bweazel 2 months ago
@Obedience I was disciplined with a belt, paddle, hand (to the ass, and the face on a couple of occasions), and anything else that was close by. And really, I hold no ill will towards them at all, because I'm a grown adult, and that was in the past. Seems like you have some things in your past that you need to let go of. I would blame this very culture (on display in this video) and you for you not being able to let this go.
bweazel 2 months ago
@bweazel Dude, this video was made in the past. I think you should just let it go and stop blaming people for what they did in the past.
By the way, by the time you read this, I will have written it in the past. Just let it go, man, just let it go!
MisterC0 2 months ago
@Obedience Like I said, it has everything to do with big government (aka Nanny state) when you are trying to give children individual rights against their parents. You are trying to make the State, not parents, the final arbiter in how a child is raised. You are trying to make parents fear their children by giving the children rights the parents do not have.
So, let's check your logic again. Does this mean children will now be able to be sent to jail at the age of four for slapping a girl?
bweazel 2 months ago
@bweazel About child slapping girl at age four being sent to prison. No, that's not reasonable because children are not fully developed mentally. But they should still have rights, just as someone who is mentally challenged have rights. You wouldn't hit them because they make a mistake or other, right? That's because they are individuals, like children. As I said, it has nothing to do with government *control*--it is a matter of inalienable human rights, the abscence of violence and/or force.
Obedience 2 months ago
@Obedience You want to take what was once the providence of parents, and you want to give it to the state. No matter how you argue this, it is not justifiable. Especially since abuse happens in a very small percentage of homes, discipline, on the other hand happens lots of places, and it's really no concern of yours how it is carried out. Children are the responsibility of their parents until the State declares them legal adults, until then, mind your own business.
bweazel 2 months ago
@bweazel I think most people would agree that beating on your kids is unacceptable. At least ninety-nine percent of everyone here in Sweden does. There is no "right to use violence" for parents. No "freedom to oppress". If you think that, I can only conclude you have no understanding of freedom, as in the abcense of force--for everyone--incl. kids. As for your abortion argument, it's not even an argument. You're just pointing fingers, "he's wrong therefore I'm right". I'm out of this discussion.
Obedience 2 months ago
@Obedience Why do you keep calling discipline, beating or abuse? Oppress? For fuck sake.... they're children. They're being disciplined, not oppressed. You bleeding hearts drive me insane. Keep your nose out of other peoples families. Deal? Abuse is marginal, but you guys don't have much of a platform unless you behave as though any form of physical discipline is abuse. I for one do not feel abused. So for the fifth time now, mind your own business. Discipline is up to the parents, not you.
bweazel 2 months ago
@bweazel, disciple is not up to you. your kid's conduct is best to reflect yours. any unresolved anxiety, anger, stress and tension you experience in life is passed on to your kids through "disciple" if they disrupt your circuits. negative emotions stated above create roadblocks in rational assessment and you become driven via adrenaline. take a timeout yourself before you take your frustrations out on your kids. as humanitarians, even your kids are our business (in or out of houses).
existentialatheist 2 months ago
@existentialatheist Then who is it up to, smart guy? You? Ya, that's all well and good that you guys like to keep behaving as though children have no free will of their own. I like how you keep acting like anything a child does wrong is always a mistake. How naive. I was a little shit when I was a kid, and I deserved a fair amount of beltings.
Wow.... are you talking about humans or machines here? Pretty hard to tell.
Who said anyone was taking aggression out on me? I deserved most if not all
bweazel 2 months ago
@bweazel and i was belted for about three years and endured many more years of having my self-esteem crushed by dad. i am not right, i carry the burden of instinctively reacting as my dad did. i gotta stop, step back, try and empathize my kid's position and explain what i would rather he do and i demonstrate it. it is tough, but i admit when i am inconsistent and apologize. i think we are trying to make clear that aggression on young people is unacceptable. it will take time.
existentialatheist 2 months ago 2
@existentialatheist So you have a low self-esteem, that doesn't mean you being belted had anything to do with it or was even the main cause of it, but you all behave as though, without the physical discipline, you would have turned out as a perfect parent, and your kids would listen and hang on every word you said. Sorry, come back to reality please. Sure, empathize away. You should know as a parent that empathy and mature talks don't always get through to kids.
bweazel 2 months ago
@bweazel have a nice week. i wish you & yours well.
existentialatheist 2 months ago
@existentialatheist And from what it sounds like, you are mentally scarred. Probably from your father talking down to you, never taking interest in you, condescending you, treating you like a general annoyance, telling you your ideas are stupid, telling you you'll never make anything of yourself, etc. I'm sure your pain has very little to do with you being belted. I'm sure the way your father treated you in between the beltings hurt you more than the belt.
bweazel 2 months ago
@existentialatheist I saw you had some discouraging words shot back at you about non-aggressive parenting, so figured I'd offer some encouragement.
I was raised in a similar household to the one you described, and I must say that just reading comments by people like yourself who have decided to break the cycle of violence and adopt peaceful parenting methods...well, it's just tremendously uplifting and encouraging. Keep up the great work!
RothbardianMe 2 months ago
@RothbardianMe , thanx for the encouragment. it is tough work, but i have not ever spanked the boys.
existentialatheist 2 months ago
@existentialatheist But please, I'll ask again, if discipline is not up to me. Who is it up to exactly?
bweazel 2 months ago
@bweazel. look, i sense a little passive-aggression. that is ok; i get it. i do not claim to be some elite intellectual, and i struggle w/ my own boys. i try and remember to adhere to my authentic well-being as a libertarian. i will be free to do as i will as my kids will; only as long as i do not violate his right to be free as well. if "correction" is what my child is needing, i cannot be right to issue out "incorrection."
existentialatheist 2 months ago
@existentialatheist Oh, why thank you, I'm glad I could have your approval ;) Weird, because that's exactly what you do when you try to tell people how to raise their kids. Spanking your kid is not violating their right to freedom, to say so is utterly ridiculous. By that same logic, putting a kid in time out is violating their right to free movement. Again, for probably the tenth time now, discipline is not abuse, you all really need to stop acting like it is.
bweazel 2 months ago
@Obedience I think most people would agree that Sweden's nanny state is not something any of us want to become. You keep your feminism and child worship, we'll keep our individual rights to raise and discipline our children how we see fit. Thank you.
bweazel 2 months ago
@Obedience Does this mean two teenage boys that get in a fight will now spend what would have normally been a suspension, supervised by their parents, in a jail cell supervised by the State?
You see, your naivety in wanting to give children rights means that you must now hold them to the same standards as adults (which anyone with half a brain can see they are clearly not at the level to be treated as such). You've got a couple kinks to work out in your utopia here
bweazel 2 months ago
@bweazel Because abused kids grow up to mug us on the streets. That's why. Now stick that in your pipe and smoke it!
"As everything else, a healthy mix is the best."
Sorry but science says otherwise and science > "random youtube poster" any day of the week. Do you have ANY solid evidence to back your claim up?
lordthawkeye 2 months ago
@lordthawkeye No they don't. Correlation is not always causation. Oh yes, I'll be sure and smoke that right up. That moderation and a mix of physical and mental discipline the best? Yes, I feel it is best. But again, it's really none of your business. Refer to the abortion argument, it's funny how the same people that scream bloody murder for individual rights seem to have no stomach for them when they come to other peoples kids.
bweazel 2 months ago
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@bweazel "Yes, I feel it is best."
Ain't worth the paper it's printed on. Do you have hard evidence backing up your claims or do you not?
No one's talking about abortion here so that's a complete red herring. Do you have an actual argument or not?
"But again, it's really none of your business."
If I saw someone being assaulted and did nothing because it was "none of my business", what would you think of me? I thought so. Don't use arguments you wouldn't accept yourself.
lordthawkeye 2 months ago
@bweazel Is a healthy mix of rationality and irrationality the best?
andrewh817 2 months ago
@andrewh817 Exactly. ;)
bweazel 2 months ago
I got a little 5 year old nephew and when he's around me and does something he isn't supposed to I just tickle him. Works pretty well.
undeadpresident 2 months ago
Even without all the studies, the "do not beat your children" approach makes so much sense. You don't want to teach your children that violence is a legit way to express your disappointment or a way to get others to do what you want. You don't want your daughters and sons to confuse spousal abuse with love. I hope this movement does catch on because I think these kids will grow up to be much more reasonable and patient adults. It makes me excited to have kids one day!
bnpixie1990 2 months ago
you can beat your horses at the "HorsePull" but ya can't hit your kids with a belt.. I believe the belt I got from age 4 to 9 has kept me out of prison.. ya see, the belt reinforced what my mom was sayin'.. she got my attention at a very your age on the do's and don't' of society.. ya know who needs a beatin'..? the people that are bringin' sufferin' into our homes through no fault of our own.. I'm sure the belt was spared in their upbringings..
Dewdaahman 2 months ago
May we hit them with steel rods then? Or spiked clubs? My parents used to stab me with a crooked knife and i believe it was a strong personality builder, i am as tough as nails now.
Anonymous247n 2 months ago
@Anonymous247n
So is he: ht tp :// vimeo.com /12279886
but he ended up in jail
CO2TROL 2 months ago
I've got a question. What about when being all peaceful and calm doesn't work? I'm not advocating violence or force or anything like that. What do you do when just saying "honey, you shouldn't do that because it's wrong because of so and so, and it helps you me and everyone else when we refrain from doing this" doesn't work, and the child just keeps repeating the mistake, even though they admittingly know why it's wrong and know they can stop it. what do you do then???
jdog101d 2 months ago
@jdog101d
I was listening to a psychologist the other day. Ensure that most (he said 80%) of your interractions with people are pleasant, rational, positive and that no more that 20% is unpleasant, nagging etc. He used the metaphore of a "meat sandwich", i.e., if you have to do something unpleasant ensure that there is abundant padding (love) before and after to put things into context (so that the punishment doesn't become the only context ). Use rewards and punishments. Not slaps.
CO2TROL 2 months ago
@CO2TROL
Reasoning and negotiation is better then rewards and punishments. Read Dr. Thomas Gordon's book Parent Effectiveness Training for more info.
FlailingJunk 2 months ago
@FlailingJunk
Sure! But the poster was saying that there are times when it just doesn't work. Ultimately you need to build an understanding with the child. Ensure you are always engaging the child like a human being (not a cartoon, toy animal, punchbag, etc.) - that way you build an understanding on a human level and it becomes very hard for a child to betray that understanding...
CO2TROL 2 months ago
@CO2TROL No form of punishment is necessary. Children are not rats. Check out Alfie Kohn, Marshall Rosenberg and Gabor Mate.
evesrib 2 months ago in playlist More videos from stefbot
@CO2TROL ok, well what if the mischief the child intends to do outweighs the reward you would give if it behaved? Forgive me for saying this, but the reward system to me sounds like a form of bribery, and I'm worried it might just teach the child that if it ever wants a reward it just has to misbehave.
jdog101d 2 months ago
@jdog101d
Could you give an example? Like what the child was doing and what you tried to get them to stop?
FlailingJunk 2 months ago
@FlailingJunk hmm well let's say you're telling the child to go to sleep since its late and everytime it doesn't do so the child ends up waking up late, misses it's bus and is late for school. Despite knowing that to avoid the displeasure of getting in trouble in school, as well as starting the day in a frantic and rushed atmosphere, the child still remains up late at night rather then going to bed. Asking nicely and giving reason doesn't work so what then?
jdog101d 2 months ago
@jdog101d A belt.
bweazel 2 months ago
@jdog101d
It is clear from your language that this has not actually happened.
FlailingJunk 2 months ago
@FlailingJunk lol, actually it has... and does, every firgin morning arggg, but whatevs, ill figure something out :P
jdog101d 2 months ago
@jdog101d
It read like a theoretical. How old are they?
FlailingJunk 2 months ago
@FlailingJunk the child's 11. so i think at that age its fair to say they can reason the point I'm trying to point out to her
jdog101d 2 months ago
@jdog101d
Ya, he(she?) is definitely old enough to understand the problems that this behavior is causing you. I highly recommend approaching this conflict with the method advocated by Dr. Thomas Gordon in his book Parent Effectiveness Training. You can find some material and success stories on the Parent Effectiveness Training blog. I guarantee the end results will be worth it for both of you.
FlailingJunk 2 months ago
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@jdog101d You talk to them. The only time you need to use a "protective use of force" is when they are endangering themselves and need to be removed from the situation. Check out Alfie Kohn, Marshall Rosenberg and Gabor Mate.
evesrib 2 months ago in playlist More videos from stefbot
@stefbot
Hitting them on the bottom isn't the only thing that hurts. Hitting them in their wallets is also quite damaging. Here:
/watch?v=958v6tD8Vw8
is a fantastic short video on what the US national debt is doing to kids.
jeffiek 2 months ago
@jeffiek I love when people bring up the debt and kids in the same argument. Each and every single of them are stunningly full of shit and horribly disingenuous. No one gives a shit about their kids these days, which is why people don't even bat an eyelash when talking about all the debt they're about to force their children to inherit. As long as they live their life happy and to the fullest, what does it matter what kind of world will be left for their children? Baby Boomers = Narcissists.
bweazel 2 months ago
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@jeffiek I love when people bring up the debt and kids in the same argument. Each and every single of them are stunningly full of shit and horribly disingenuous. No one gives a shit about their kids these days, which is why people don't even bat an eyelash when talking about all the debt they're about to force their children to inherit. As long as they live their life happy and to the fullest, what does it matter what kind of world will be left for their children? Baby Boomers = Narcissists.
bweazel 2 months ago
A big however...
In the past life was harder, physically, and a man had to understand and know violence before it cost him his life in a fight over a woman, or something like that. While getting a good beating every now and then might have produced some mental scars that would be buried eventually, it would have toughened a man on the outside, where it mattered more. I would rather be familiar with a danger than be naive totally naive to it. Criminal abuse creates criminals though.
CO2TROL 2 months ago
Stefan just curious but do you allow your child to watch cable television? A video on media influence on a child's mind would be super interesting I think.
W1F3B34T3R 2 months ago
This is what abuse does to a man:
vimeo.com 12279886
Chopper - Hooky The Cripple
A short clip (based on a true story)
CO2TROL 2 months ago
I wish now a days hey that the belt was the only thing I was hit with. Instead I can recount being beaten with a hanger, and the extension cord, a switch (i.e. a thin bush branch), and the cou'de gra having lit matches put out on my bare skin...
Nastuf 2 months ago
@Nastuf
Wow that's terrible. I'm so sorry they did that to you.
FlailingJunk 2 months ago
WELL SAID.
dronexmail 2 months ago
Stef still in the early stages of the T virus outbreak.
Iseeyoursoul 2 months ago 2
Smart video, Stupid comments..
Benderrr111 2 months ago
You're the man Stefan.
I love you :)
WhiteWolf1088 2 months ago
I really don't understand what the big problem is with repressive communist regimes. What a load of sissy crap! You sissies just need to get over it. I mean, really. Take Ayn Rand, for instance. She grew up under the yoke of Uncle Joe himself, and she turned out just fine!!
ProjectFreeSelf 2 months ago
@ProjectFreeSelf ...Sorry, Lenin, not Stalin.
ProjectFreeSelf 2 months ago
You should ask them this, Stef: Can *I* hit their children for them? Why or why not?
MrStillmans 2 months ago 3
Children have rights, just like any other human being. People who hit their children should be incarcerated for initiating force, just as one should be incarcerated for assault on a fellow man. It is shameful to see that so many of these comments seem to not regard this as self-evident. There is no difference in principal between violent abuse and sexual abuse. Both are violations of basic individual rights. Think about that.
Obedience 2 months ago
@Obedience principle*
Sorry, I'm not a native speaker.
Obedience 2 months ago
@Obedience
Abuse causes lots of shit, but
"incarceration" isn't self-evident
CO2TROL 2 months ago
@CO2TROL No, it's more of an example. Ideally, the form and magnitude of compensation and punishment is decided by an arbitrator of some sort.
Obedience 2 months ago
@stefbot - you bring up an excellent point: if you want your child to develop a rational mind then that has to be developed, hence reason with them the problem and what is at stake. otherwise, by engaging the problem on a physical manner, it teaches the child that physicality is the standard course to deal with problems.
we need to develop critical thinking, a heightened rational mind in young people and move them off emotionality and physical violence as "ends" to resolving problems!
qncsc 2 months ago
as devil's advocate for a moment ... if only you addressed the emotional violence of poor mothering as thoroughly as you address the physical violence of poor fathering
calvin227gaia 2 months ago
any dad who is reading this. do not try to poke your thumb up your kids youknow wherehole. because he will grow up so angry and scared he'll be distrustfull of any man. to any mom who is reading this. when the first dad fails, do not try to find other men, on wich you lay responsibility to raise your kids, instead of taking responsibility yourself. do not move your kid all over the country 12 times before he's 18. don't kick him out of the house the moment he's 18. dont do what my parents did
landloper1986 2 months ago
I can remember being hit once. And it never happened again when I was young. I have a 1 year old and have never come close to smacking or hitting her. Even when she climbs on end table or jumps on the couch. Some times I let it go, or I sit or take her down. I look right at her in the face and tell her, If you jump or climb and you fall your gonna hurt yourself. Sometimes she gets it, sometimes but she doesn't. But they are young so it takes time.
Biosynthnut 2 months ago
I just wont have children. Problem solved.
empfeix 2 months ago
@empfeix if you think like that, go ahead.
yanpagh 2 months ago
But Stefan...if we dont hit them with belts...what can we hit them with?
CON-FUSED
My hands are soft from too much office work....are wooden spoons and electrical chords acceptable?
CON-F-USED
Are headlocks acceptable? What about "indian rubs"? (oooops...sorry redskin people...not PC) Hmmmm what about a quick thump to the Adam's apple?
malangsob 2 months ago
There is no slavery anymore? That is a rather rich statement considering the status of current US governmental legislation including being subjected to the humiliation of the TSA.
RebelRadius 2 months ago 2
@RebelRadius
I agree. The slavery is now also of the mind. It just gets more sophisticated and more intrusive.
CO2TROL 2 months ago
I was hit with a coat hanger, weight lifting belt, and regular belt when I was a kid. I can honestly say I'm happy I was. But then again this was a regular thing for hispanics then and wasn't considered abuse.
alkalinecuban 2 months ago
another godlike soliloquy
xsickzackx 2 months ago
Anybody noticed what's lacking in these advocates of child-hitting? Do any of them say anything like, 'Hell, I really hate it when it comes to the point where I have to hit my children', 'I really feel sad when having to hit my children, but I know it does them good', 'I was very upset after I belted my son', 'It's not nice when it comes to hitting, but it has to be done.' ?????
robzrob 2 months ago
@robzrob You forget the most famous one. "It hurts me just as much as it hurts you."
Manifold73tube 2 months ago
@Manifold73tube
...probably a sado-masochistic re-living of former abuse against them. In the meanwhile the frightened kid is being beaten by a crazy person.
CO2TROL 2 months ago
Amazing. That was poetry. Thanks for posting.
bary1234 2 months ago
Give that woman a medal!
robzrob 2 months ago
sending me to stand in the corner worked better than spanking.
OmarThePug 2 months ago
wowowowow
feeltheillinois 2 months ago
There is as much a difference between spanking and beating as there is between time out and locking your child in a closet for a week. One can help if done properly, one is only meant to satisfy the anger of the purpatrator. The arguement that there is no moral differance between a parent and child and so a parent has no right to inflict pain for any reason is false. By the same logic you cannot send you child to bed early, force them to go to school, or even tell them not to use profanity.
RationalismDefined 2 months ago
@RationalismDefined also..
Using that logic removes all the parents moral obligation to provide for that child because what right does the child have to demand care. The fact is that the act of procreation creates a new person. Despite what may seem intuitive, that act of creation does not end at birth. It continues untill the child is an adult. At that point the child is now granted the full rights and responcibilities of a full fledged member of society.
RationalismDefined 2 months ago
@RationalismDefined The child does have a right to demand care, on account of the fact that the child is the consequence of the adults actions, and everyone is responsible for the consequences of their action. Bringing a child into this world and not providing for it is highly immoral. We wouldn't say it makes sense to even buy a horse and then let it starve to death, that is cruelty. The parent is immoral if it denies care, the child is NOT immoral for needing it.
Zerafinel 2 months ago
@Zerafinel Thank you. That was my point.
RationalismDefined 2 months ago
Great video! You are a treasure Stefan.
DeSwiss 2 months ago
I have seen many children that have been "talked to" as if they were adults when they did something wrong and they have turned out to be some of the worst people I know of in society today. Just go to any yuppie neighborhood where every mother thinks their child is perfect and see how they turned out! Case in point.
dpla5762 2 months ago
@dpla5762 I agree 100%..the reason we have the police state we do right now is because so many "momma's boys" that were raised by permissive single moms never learned to take responsibility. Simply crying to authority has been how they have been raised to get attention, and crying to the state just replaces mom in later years.
MoneyIsSilver 2 months ago
A very good point. Now my question is why so many women are attracted to violent men. Same with men of course, although our society doesn't tend to call violent women violent, instead they're called fiery or impulsive. Is it because they recognize the behavior and associate it with people they (sort of) loved in the past?
vention4wh 2 months ago
We need to change the legal age to 14.
TheEnglishAtheist1 2 months ago
POWERFUL video!....
NickBravoReturns 2 months ago
What a load of sissy crap. My father hit me almost everyday and now I work in law enforcement protecting the citizens of America, I turned out more than fine.
BornWhiteSupremacy1 2 months ago
@BornWhiteSupremacy1 Great example :D
octapotamus 2 months ago
@BornWhiteSupremacy1 One look at your youtube screen name explains it all! No comment needed!
chaosmucker 2 months ago
@BornWhiteSupremacy1 Protecting citizens....HA what a joke. Turned out fine? your name is whitesupremecy you dumb redneck. A white supremist cop.... do me a favor, go under your sink, pour all of the cleaners into a cup, drink it and die you worthless pig.
coopmuch56 2 months ago
I know this is totally irrelevant, but this 12:15 made me laugh way too much! :)
axel27ldt 2 months ago
poeple that hit others, are not free.
johnosstreeter 2 months ago
@johnosstreeter I'm free to hit people. I stabbed one once.
baalisgod666 2 months ago
Me 21 years old... if anyone hit me I will beat that shit down. AND you do not have any more right to hurt me, just because I'm 1 year old.
YOU NEVER had any right to hurt me!
chrstilen5 2 months ago
I used to get belted mercilessly. Sometimes for things my siblings did. The welts were there for days. I hate my parents. I left home at 15 and never went back, even to my bitch moms funeral. My dads in his 60'6 and I hope he dies alone.
I don't work and have psychological problems, including an irrational hatred of humans.
baalisgod666 2 months ago 23
@baalisgod666 I feel your pain. The abuse must have been severe because you still carry the pain with you. It is unfortunately the norm for parents to go the path of least resistance when parenting. I not only did get slapped, I got beat with a heavy shoe with repeated blows to my head when I was a child. My father was and is a coward to strangers, but took that frustration out on me - his only child. I don't hate him, as it's not useful to me and my life. I just forgot he exists.
grumpone 2 months ago 7