NAIL GUN MASSACRE by The Cinema Snob

[0004237024]

Was this supposed to be a funny review?

[GoucheGizmo]

What is the Snob's intro music from?

[rxillos]

I, unfortunately, had to illustrate that video cover package. Just starting out in my career I took whatever jobs came my way. Met the guy who created the film and they gave me a copy of it for reference material. It was terrible.

[thEannoyingE]

im so sorry about that man :(

[emogothshadow]

marlboro reds 100's in this movie

[111bah111]

Nice glasses, MC Hammer. Your observations and comments aren't half as ammusing as you think they are. You and sarcasm don't get along well. Get out of your mom's basement, blow your fucking nose, and lose that fucked up JC Penny clearance suit.

[Zombiemeat1]

lol I like this guy

[jonquil4000]

Cinema Snob, your a goof. Your complaining about bad horror films that were meant to be bad in the first place!.

[rridgway2]

Except they were actually trying.

[KahlerHahn]

oh man... my buddies and me did a drinking game when you had to take a shot everytime something dumb happens... damn we were wasted by 20 minutes into the flick

[freddykisback123]

what a bad  corpse :D 7:55

can't even play dead

[kingMetalOi]

i think baby aids is pretty funny

[zaccds]

this movie is terrible. Two things he could of mentioned is the movie drags on for way to long with pointless scenes, and you get no story on the killer but minutes on the random victims

[jonquil4000]

What did you exepect?, Casablanca??. Its a low budget horror film !.

[zaccds]

my only real complaint about this movie is pointless scenes drag on for a day.  was not putting the movie down just saying way to much filler.

[Wezzipooh]

lol what a great tagline!

"its cheaper than a chainsaw"

[theemokittygirl]

no you didn't don't be an idiot

[TownsendFilms]

Love the Evil Dead poster in the back, dude.

[zmbdog]

This movie was hilarious! I loved every minute of it.

[JesseWyattElkinton]

Must you say "FUCKING" all the time dude.

[anonymoussingerben]

That's what I was thinking.

[theemokittygirl]

shes at 7:55 *crys*

[theemokittygirl]

my mom was in this movie Q_Q

[TheInferno7]

Oh my god, did I regret buying this one.

[CIMA2010EX]

You're definately funny, but I thought I Spit On Your Grave was actually a pretty good movie for what it was aimed for. Exploitation.

[mozfn87]

Yes!!!!! back on!!!!!!! LOL at the guy that tried to have this removed! Take that Nail Gun Massacre company!!!

[clownpenisfart]

It could be futuristic. A dystopian, post-apocalyptic antebellum future after the frogs have won.

[TitusIsaacMaximus]

"It's time to meet your man"

[derpdederp101]

LMFAO 6:49

[Totenklang]

"Well, you just pissed me on."

[imalamaman]

Sure he did.

[UltimateThanos]

The girl throws a fit because her friends go to piss in the woods? That's autism!

[grahamlaur]

Didn't John Reynolds use a fake beard in the original? Maybe not... but a Torgo Beard + Cinema Snob is definitely an odd combination.

If you haven't checked it out, a theatrical company who performed Manos word for word posted it on youtube - great stuff, I loved it.

[grahamlaur]

Um, OK... maybe this isn't the place to ask.. but are the rumors true? Are you playing Torgo in a remake of Manos?

[thecinemasnob]

Yep, that's actually true. I'm playing Torgo. Which means I can't shave my facial hair anytime soon.

[VendavalEste]

Oh wow, this I've gotta see.

[jeetkunedobruce]

"I can remember this pice of shit's tag line". Then he get's it fucking wrong. ROTFLMAO.

[germyfromirc]

AWW NAIL IN THE DICK!~ This looks pretty bad... I'll try to find it asap! OMG she's reading the script...!!!!!!! As futuristic as Dipin DOTS.. lol

[Deadmeatproductions]

"... It's like they used a rattlesnake as the boommic!"

that cracked me up so bad xD

[dswift]

BTW Judy Tanuda would get it so hard.

I love the accordian! It is such an aphrodisiac.

[dswift]

I f'n love this film.I do have a soft spot for bad cinema ,thats why I enjoy your reviews so much.But this one is seriously one of my favorites of all time.I waited for years for this to come out on dvd.

[shadowdollcat]

hey i liked that film why the hell is he dissin' it, it was highly entertaining!!! Love this just watched it!!!

[MrMHBendall]

He's dissin' it cause that's what he does best I guess. I played the biker that got nailed to the tree. This was my 1st movie back in '84. I couldn't believe the following this movie has over all these years. I attended a frightfest at the Omni hotel to sign autographs for the DVD re-release. I had a blast! It doesn't bother me one bit that people like this guy live to critique bad movies. Hell I was in the damn thing, and I even agree with him. LMFAO!!!

[hipshimmy]

I remember trying to watch this online and being thrown by the opening scene. It reminded me of that movie Demented. Rape scene was so quick my roommate and I had to rewind it to make sure the tape wasn't messed up.

[thecrimsonfloyd]

You can expect the unexpected when they play.....charade. Was the tagline for charade.

[Bloodsport1]

Yo, I first bought this movie at a Fangoria convention in the early 90's. I watched it. I was so mad I went back the next day and ranted on the guy who sold me this piece of shit movie lol

[totallyaffum]

"This is about as futuristic as Dippin Dots"

Lovely

[thisisrumorcontrol]

That old lady IS reading from the script, she even looks at the camera before turning the page.

[hipshimmy]

She sure as shit does....LOL!

[postalmonk74]

"What are the odds this piece of shit takes place in Texas? . . . . I'd say the odds are pretty fucking good." LMAO!

[AequitasVeritas92]

lol

[Doperwtje81]

What i remember from this movie was that the raped girl wears the same attire at the end as she did in the beginning. Why would someone hold onto the clothes that they were raped in???

[lukeosborne]

Another great vid, keep them coming :D

[picklepotato]

Dippin Dots-it's ice cream from the future

[moronicmark]

I love this movie for all the wrong reasons.

Great review of my favorite baddie.

The lady who reads the script and looks at the camera is director Terry Lofton's mom.

I love it when the doctor looks at the killer's sixth victims and says, "I think we're looking at an epidemic."

Too much fun!

[curlingiron7658]

Hey, Im from Texas, and I DO NOT ACT LIKE THAT....my friends might though... :( never mind....

[mozfn87]

Good work and keep the reviews coming!!! Agree, this looks bad. I heard that FInal Exam was the worst slasher film ever due to no action.

[curlingiron7658]

No, Final Exam fuckin kick ASS!!!

[derpdederp101]

dude i watched that movie and it was fucking horrible

[curlingiron7658]

Its not for everyone.

[ThaVoid]

"Cheaper than a Chainsaw" = best tagline ever

[Trencher1375]

Great review but a bit short.

And they were futuristc in a sense look on how torture porn and slasher movies have become mainstream, even winning oscars.

[MorbidG]

You missed out on so many great moments in the movie to comment on. The part where the guy gets killed on the grill and sets himself back up so the grill doesn't tip over. Best moment ever.

[Mcrlover2death]

The old lady is reading from the fucking scripts lmao!

[the9claw]

hahaha i loved this movie. it was so bad.

[captainvideoblogger]

Ooh, I can just imagine the one-liners on this one.

"I hit the nail on YOUR head!"

"This is last nail to the coffin!"

"I nailed you!"

[strikecommando01]

the killer looks like the robot from robowar in speaking of robowar can you review robowar who agrees ?

[huntermccartyney]

Another epic review. Keep it up.

[DeathValleyMassacre]

Some of your best stuff!!

[dcluver04]

I have been waiting for you to do this one!

[buckiemohawk]

I thought the same of you of Baise-Moi. The execution was terrible I've seen movies by the now defunct Extreme Associates that were more interesting.

[CrazyTim06]

Hey Cinema Snob, is there a movie called Jack Hammer Massacre?

[Greaver007]

ya, i saw it at my local blockbuster

[MrChampa70]

Yes and it sucks ass! besides one scene of a face getting pounded by a jack hammer :)

[OrioNX99]

Not only does the old woman look at the script, she looks directly at the camera / cameraman as if to say "was that alright?"

[clockworkhorror]

oh boy, i nearly died of laughter at the music guy falling asleep at the keyboard.

amazing review.

[comicspaul]

You're like a bus, Brad, nothing for quite a while and then everything comes at once....but its all good, as usual

[genetvideos]

It´s a futuristic film! Horror films of the XXI Century sucks ass. Terry Lofton was a visionary.

[InvidNinja92]

I find it hilarious that although the killer is obviously a man, what makes it even stupider is that you can blatantly tell that the person in the costume is a woman from the way the killer walks as well as the height. Oh, and gotta love the synthesized voice. :)

[marvelmania]

Holy crap. This review is like a fucking goldmine of funny quotes.

"black screen...gang rape...black screen...gang rape"

"who the fuck gave russ meyer the camera?"

"not just any nail gun...this is the fucking binford tools fully automatic nail gun"

"this is the only movie that i have seen, where the movie itself is a fucking spoiler alert!"

Just to name a few ^^

[oliverscott2007]

"Well, you've just pissed me off!"

*Roars with laughter* That was brilliant. Its so good that your channel is flowing with activity again.

[HappyConsoleGamer]

LOL this review just poped up for me!

LOVE IT! Easy subscription!

[Avzzor]

oh god

i think you found the WORST film ever

[oliverscott2007]

This doesn't quite surpass 'Black devil doll from Hell' in sheer awfulness.

[Madskull2]

Brilliant! Please do Camp Blood & Camp Blood 2.

[LiveFastDiarrhea]

LMAO of about that old lady reading off the script. Wonderful. And it looks like she even stares directly into the camera when her dialogue is done. Like "Ok, Mr.Director, how was that?".

[TANTOSLOSNICKSCOGIOS]

I love you Cinema Snob

[SaitekGamer]

lmao at the music xD

Great work man! Keep it up:D

[badandtheugly]

This movie was a great choice for you. I cant understand how shit like this gets made. But thank you for the review.

[TheReceptionist]

You need to see Ax 'Em

[digitalsinna]

it's great to see that you are BACK and doing new reviews, you rock man!

[CrimsonDusk]

This movie reminds me of Dead & Buried for no good reason. Maybe it's because that movie too had almost no build up or maybe it's because it's a better movie. Oh and thanks for the heads up on the Podcast. I can't wait to hear the second episode.

[Carrigon]

That music makes me think they just let someone's cat walk across the keyboard instead of actually hiring someone to do the music :D

[vicomelgoza]

youre the shit cinemasnob keep up the good work!!!

[buckiemohawk]

I just saw Baise-Moi you need to review it

[fdragon010]

As a native Texan I would like to voice my disaprroval on the represention of my home state in movies like this. It really is getting old.

Next tool masscare or cannibalism or rapesplotain movie needs to be set in New York or L.A., just so the big city can get its turn.

Really, its getting old.

[Mcrlover2death]

dear cima snob:

why do you consider yourself a cinema snob? is it b/c you have watched so many movies you have some knowledge and experience and think yo know it all.....like a snob?

[mooveefreak]

lol funny as usual, great job brad :)

[dswift]

I have always loved this film.One of the best bad films ever.

[etran83]

Dippin' Dots!

[Joorum]

Looks like tools and massacre were only once a match made in heaven (TCM).

[steel6619]

You know what this movie needs...PIERRE F'N KIRBY

[thecinemasnob]

Damn right!!!

[buckiemohawk]

i cant hear the dialogue

[Ogma01]

"Whaddya' kidding me? It's poifect!!!" LOL!!!

[sirkevins]

So soon after Pierre Kirby week?

Fantastic!

Loving Radiodrome by the way.

[skrag2112]

Not only is the old lady reading directly from the script, at 7.47 she looks right at the camera! Pure movie gold! (That is, in this case, gold = shit!)

[pablostgermain]

the killer looks sort of like a paramilitary ghostbuster

[nuttsofstill100]

awesome

[Googopqp]

LOL NICE REVIEW! This movie looks like shit and that part when the lady is reading off the script in the movie is priceless HA! XD Keep it up man u do really hilarious and kick ass reviews!

[dissent88]

omg. Even people like us would no better than to show the scripts on camera.

[RavnDream]

Oh my gods, that IS Awful XD

[Hutch2113]

awesome, an new snob vid...

hahaha "well, you've pissed me off"

[GhostBusta234]

Slashers:The Frat Boy of Horror Films.

[FatGuyWithAKatana]

all movies should start with gang rape.